Prologue: Too Old to Marry

“Evelyn, you are no longer needed. Leave this country at on—”

“Nooooooooooooooooo!”

I shrieked the raw shriek of someone who was suffering such spine-chilling shock that shrieking was all she could do.

“H-Hey! You can’t just interrupt me! I’m the first prince of—”

“Why would I not?! You were about to tell me to leave the country!”

“That’s right! Glad to know your ears work. Now, you will leave this basilica—”

“Nooo! This can’t be happening! This sucks!” I screamed, pounding my fist violently against the cold marble floor.

First Prince Alex and my younger half sister Mary, who stood next to him with her arms folded, stared at me with their mouths hanging open like a pair of dumbstruck buffoons. They probably hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from me.

But what else was I to do except shriek?

I was the saint! It was my duty to protect this country! I’d been living in the Grand Basilica since I was five years old!

This hall was a sacred space, intended only for major ceremonies and rituals. I’d never imagined the day would come when I would hear such cruel words here, of all places.

As I continued to wail, Alex, though taken aback at my behavior, cupped both hands around his mouth and shouted at the top of his lungs, determined to be the loudest in the room.

“Just listen, won’t you?! Actually, you will listen, whether you want to or not!”

Perhaps all of us ought to have been ashamed of making such an earsplitting ruckus in a place meant for peace and tranquility, but...it was just us three here at the moment, so there was no one around to object, at least.

“Evelyn! Admit it! Surely you’ve noticed!” the prince insisted, still shouting. “Your magic weakens by the day!”

“Urk!”

I gritted my teeth at his merciless accusation—which happened to be true. I could vaguely sense it, myself.

I used to be able to focus on my prayers until sunset, I thought. But lately, that’s been difficult...

Now I felt faint a few hours before the end of my prayer sessions and too dizzy to even steady myself in the proper posture of devotion.

Prince Alex looked more confident now, probably because he’d at last managed to silence me.

“That’s right! You’re already losing your abilities!” he said. “Therefore, Mary will take your place as the saint! You have no objections, I trust?”

“What?! Mary?!”

Mary and I were both daughters of House Safka, famed for producing girls with holy powers; she was my half sister—my father’s daughter by another wife—and ten years younger than me. With her large eyes, rosy cheeks, and plump cherry-red lips, I had to admit she was quite a pretty girl. But I recalled Mary herself mentioning the magic she’d been born with wasn’t anything to write home about...

I looked up to find her cowering behind Prince Alex in a rather theatrical display.

“You’re frightening me, sister!” she said. “Pray don’t glare at me so!”

“Stop at once, Evelyn!” the prince commanded. “You’re scaring Mary!”

“Oh, Alex! Won’t you protect me from my terrifying sister?”

“Of course! Anything for you, my beloved!”

Mary squealed. “My prince! I love you! I love you so much!”

I’m sorry, what? Was this a comedy show? A skit? It was so stupid that I had no choice but to regain some of my composure. Also, my throat hurt.

Either way, I had served faithfully as the saint for twenty-three years, so there was a question I simply had to ask.

“Mary,” I said, rubbing my aching throat. “From now on, it will be your duty to protect this country as the saint. Are you prepared for all that entails?”

“What?” Mary asked. “I have no idea what you mean, sister.”

“And that worries me! The position involves serious responsibilities, and you’re—”

“Enough, Evelyn!” Prince Alex interrupted. I looked over to see him with his shoulders thrown back dramatically. He was looking down at me as though I were some sort of insect. “Your magic’s grown weak, you’re too old to marry... Have you really sunk so low that all you have left is jealousy for your sister’s talent? Pathetic.”

Hey...!

I was struck speechless. Prince Alex’s words were far too cruel.

It was true that the marriageable age for young women in this country went from fifteen to eighteen years old or so. At twenty-eight, I had, indeed, long since missed my window of opportunity, even if it pained me to admit it. But as the saint, I was only permitted to get engaged, not to marry. And, without a successor, I’d had to remain single.

That wasn’t the only issue either.

This jerk is all up on his high horse when he’s the one who broke our engagement off while having an affair with Mary!

Ours hadn’t been an amicable split. Last year, Prince Alex had summoned me to his room—where I’d found the two of them locked in what was clearly a passionate kiss. Then, while laughing at me, he’d called off our engagement. It was the most humiliated I’d ever felt in my entire life.

He’s never even touched me. Not once.

Ours had been a political arrangement, after all. I’d known that, naturally, and I’d never harbored any feelings toward the prince in the first place, but still! After that day, everyone began to walk on eggshells around me. I mean, of course they did. Never before in the history of this country had an engagement between a prince and the saint been dissolved.

And since I was the saint, there were very few people who could propose to me, inclinations to do so aside. Basically, only members of the royal family were eligible—and only unmarried ones.

Until now, I’d braved every hardship by dedicating myself to my role as the saint, but...

If that’s taken from me too, what am I to do with my life?

As if to rub salt into my gaping wound, Mary shouted hysterically, “Oh, my poor sister! What a wretched life she will live now, all alone!”

“How considerate you are, Mary,” Prince Alex said. “Pathetic as your sister is, you still feel for her.”

I couldn’t bear to keep listening to their comedy skit any longer.

“Ah. Yes, of course,” I said. “Well then, I shall take my leave...”

The two of them were still saying something behind my back, but I pretended not to hear and trudged out of there dejectedly. For a moment, I considered returning to my chambers, but...I had no personal belongings to fetch. And the role of saint was completely unpaid.

In other words, I was flat broke.

Going back to my chambers seemed like a waste of time, and I couldn’t bear the thought of running into those two again. So I decided to leave the great hall and head straight for the basilica’s entrance.

To be precise, I think I’d lost all capacity for rational thought at that moment. My head felt searing hot, my thoughts were spinning in useless circles, my eyesight was blurry, and the prince’s hurtful words were echoing over and over in my brain.

I’m no longer needed, he said. I’m too old to marry, he said...

Boo-hoo-hoo. Before I knew it, tears were spilling from my eyes. When I finally noticed, I hurriedly wiped them away with my sleeve.

No one saw, right? Good.

I wasn’t sure whether Prince Alex had dismissed everyone else, but there wasn’t a single priest in sight in the corridors—which, honestly, was a blessing in disguise. The fact there wasn’t anyone at the entrance either made me a little nervous, but when I timidly stepped outside, a brilliantly clear blue sky spread out before me. It was as if reality were telling me that my woes were completely irrelevant.

It was a little amusing, but I couldn’t manage a laugh.

Um... Now what?

Chapter One: I Need to Make a Living

In the end, I decided to head back to my family’s home. Having lived at the Grand Basilica from age five until now, I had nowhere else to turn.

Not that I actually remembered how to get there.

I know I’m from House Safka, but...

It had been twenty-three years since I’d last lived with my birth family. I’d been brought to the temple in a carriage with the curtains drawn, so I had absolutely no idea how to make my way through town to the estate.

I can barely even remember my parents’ faces.

Over the past twenty-three years, my parents had never once come to visit me. When Mary visited to flirt with Prince Alex, she occasionally told me about them—mainly to brag about how they doted on her—but...all I could think was Good for you.

Um, I take a right here, I guess?

I started walking at random. With no money for a carriage, I had no choice but to try to make it to the estate on foot.

No clue if I’ll actually get there, though!

Laster, capital of the Holy Kingdom of Snasile, was a bustling city boasting a large population. It housed many buildings that drew crowds: the royal palace, where His Majesty resided; the Grand Basilica, which served as the symbol of the holy kingdom; the Knights’ Academy; the Nobles’ Academy; and more. As a child, I’d likely wandered these streets often, but after more than two decades—perhaps because the districts and roads had changed—nothing I saw anywhere looked the least bit familiar. It made me a little sad.

When finally I reached the main street of the royal capital, one thing became abundantly clear.

This is impossible!

About to be swallowed by the noisy crowds, I quickly gave up. There was no way I could make my way back to the Safka estate on pure instinct like this. Laster was just too vast, and there was no guarantee I’d reach my destination even if I walked for days on foot.

There was only one viable course of action: ask someone for directions.

I just need to find someone who looks like they’d be sympathetic!

I glanced around and decided to approach a housewife who looked like she’d just finished buying vegetables. She had no children with her, so I figured she wouldn’t be too cold to me. I wanted to believe that. I was begging the universe to let me believe that. If she was cold to me now, my tear ducts were likely to collapse again.

“Um, excuse me,” I said. “Could I ask you for directions?”

She raised her eyebrows. “To where?”

“The Safka estate.”

“Oh, the saint’s childhood home. She’s quite popular, isn’t she?”

“Huh?” I tilted my head in confusion. “She...is?”

“You’re her fan too, right? We get a lot of them around here,” she said, nodding sagely several times. “People ask me for directions all the time, like, ‘The saint is so beautiful! I want even just a glimpse of where she was raised!’ and such. Lots of tourists too.”

Is...that true?

I’d never heard of this before. Nobody had told me. And beautiful, really? My face wasn’t known to the public!

During national religious ceremonies, I would come outside—but, as per customs dating back to the holy kingdom’s founding, I’d always had to cover my face with a white veil. And, since I was always at quite a distance from the general population, I’d figured they would have, at most, an idea of my general build. So, in reality, nobody knew what I looked like.

Not that I minded being called beautiful, but it just felt unearned.

They’d be disappointed if they saw my actual face!

I’d always figured I didn’t look that shabby, myself, but no one had ever complimented my appearance. My face would probably shatter the citizenry’s expectations.

“Listen, far be it from me to bad-mouth the saint’s relatives, but that family? Total money-grubbers,” the woman explained. “I hear they extort people—charge ’em a lot of coin just to see the house. So you be mindful of that, all right?”

“Y-Yes, of course...” I replied, nodding, though I had no idea what she meant.

The woman gestured with her hands as she explained, “To reach the Safka estate, head straight down the main street until you reach the end, then take a right. Then you’ll see the sign for a tailor’s shop that says ‘Weltz,’ and you take a left there. Then turn left around the first corner and keep going straight until you see a black mansion.”

“Thank you very much!”

Her explanation was very easy to understand, and the estate seemed closer than I’d thought too! I bowed my head in thanks.

“Are you on your own today?” the woman asked with a warm smile.

“Huh?”

“The city really isn’t safe for a lone young lady. Look, those men over there keep glancing this way.”

With those words of warning, she waved, said goodbye, and walked away. I, meanwhile, just stood there in shocked silence.

“Young lady”? I’m twenty-eight this year!

Just how young had I looked to her? Part of me wanted to ask, but a bigger part felt that was a bad idea.

I managed to somehow recover from the shock and recall the housewife’s warning. When I looked around, I met eyes with several men, who all blushed, looked away, and left in a hurry. How dejecting!

They probably think I’m some clueless country bumpkin...!

Discouraged though I was, I started walking before I could forget the directions to the Safka estate.

***

My birth family was said to have produced saints for generations. In recognition for this achievement, they’d been elevated from commoner status to the honorable rank of “pioutor” by the king. They’d since built themselves a large mansion in the capital, where they lived in comfort and abundance.

But...this thing is new, right? I wondered as I gazed up.

In the garden of the brick-walled mansion where I’d spent my earliest years stood a massive bronze statue that I had absolutely no recollection of. It had been a relief to finally spot the Safka estate after following the housewife’s directions, but then I started feeling like something felt out of place, and...here it was. A statue of a woman of some sort.

What is this?

The statue depicted a figure kneeling on the ground, with both hands clasped together in prayer. She had a graceful smile on her face and seemed to exude dignity. In front of the statue was a stone monument with some text carved into it.

“Evelyn Safka, 17th Saint of the Holy Kingdom of Snasile,” I read. So...this is me, then?

But the statue looked more like Mary than me. Speaking of, since Mary and I had different mothers, we honestly didn’t look very much alike. Which meant the statue and I looked nothing alike whatsoever.

The housewife’s words echoed in my mind. “Far be it from me to bad-mouth the saint’s relatives, but that family? Total money-grubbers. I hear they extort people—charge ’em a lot of coin just to see the house.”

So that’s what she meant, I thought.

I was a bit slow on the uptake, but things were starting to come together: My father and stepmother were taking advantage of my position as saint to line their own pockets.

“Hey,” came a voice.

Surprised, I turned around to find a middle-aged man in sunglasses standing behind me. Maybe I’d been standing in front of the garden for too long?

Wait.

Slowly, my eyes widened. There was no mistaking it—he was obviously older than the man I remembered, wore jewelry with ridiculously large gems all over, and seemed to have expanded to three times his original bulk, but...probably, without a doubt, maybe, definitely, this was my father!

My lips trembled. I was about to say, “Father!” when he stroked his beard and held out a palm toward me.

“Howdy-ho! Five silver pieces,” he said.

“Huh?”

“A viewing fee for the statue and mansion, mm-hmm? Commemorative photos with the statue cost extra, mm-hmm? Now you know so you can’t say you don’t, yes? Excuses are free, the world is not, missy.”

“Huh?!”

Pardon? Huh? What? Excuses are free?

Ignoring my confusion, a woman emerged from behind my father. She was slim but, like him, was covered in dangly jewelry from head to toe. Both of them were so sparkly, they hurt to look at directly.

“Oh dear, dear dear, dear madam! We really must insist that you pay! We must make a living, after all!” she said.

That’s my stepmother!

She chuckled daintily. “Five silver pieces is an absolute steal! This is the house where St. Evelyn grew up, after all! And we have many exhibits inside as well! We have mud pies she crafted with her own two hands, and the first sheet she ever wet—”

“Gaaaaaaaah!”

I couldn’t stand there listening to this any longer and sprinted away at full speed, screaming.

“Oh? Not a tourist? Please, no trespassing. Call the guards, perhaps, we should,” my father said behind me.

I ran until I could no longer hear his weird, broken speech. I ran and ran, wheezing all the way.

I’m so stupid!

What else could I have expected from people who had ignored me for over twenty years? I should’ve known. The two of them hadn’t even recognized me. Worse, they had the first sheet I’d ever wet on display! For money! That was all I needed to know, right there.

I’m seriously such an idiot!

I didn’t want my eyes to get all swollen from crying again, so I smacked my cheeks as hard as I could. And it hurt. Tremendously. Really, it hurt beyond belief. I’d overdone it.

But hey, the tears had vanished, so there was that.

This is no time to lose heart over such minor things!

After all, I was in a truly desperate situation. Because, you see...

I’m broke. I’m so broke!

Indeed. I had no money whatsoever. I’d left the basilica with nothing but the clothes on my back. I had no one left to ask for help and no acquaintances to speak of.

Staying at an inn would probably cost money too...

Back at the basilica, they had this book about a traveling hero and princess, and they would stay the night at inns in various towns. I’d loved the idea of a sword-wielding hero and a spell-slinging healer princess, so I’d read that book over and over. And in it, the hero would always pay the innkeepers money.

The weather was warm during spring, but the idea of sleeping curled up in a back alley somewhere was...not great. Also, probably not ideal even in the royal capital with its strict security.

Besides tonight’s lodging, I had a second pressing concern: the pathetic grumbling from my belly area, which happened to ring out in the middle of my contemplation of my first pressing concern. What terrible timing. Or great timing, I supposed, depending on whom you asked.

“I’m so hungry...” I mumbled. I should’ve gotten an extra helping of soup for breakfast...

***

My top priority was to make money so I could survive. I knew that. And it made me tilt my head in confusion.

How does one make money?

My family had been paid a large sum, a dowry of sorts, when I was taken in as the saint. Not only that, they’d exploited my image to extort a not-at-all-insignificant amount of money from tourists. But me, personally? I’d never really earned a living.

Let’s see, what can I do? I can...perform ceremonial prayers as the saint.

But I couldn’t do that. Prince Alex had declared that Mary was to be the country’s new saint. Thus, I wouldn’t be allowed to pray for the nation as its saint anymore. Besides, my “payment” for said ceremonies was the fact that by praying to disperse noxious energies and keep monsters at bay, I kept my own country peaceful. It wasn’t something I could exchange for coin.

Besides that, I only have healing magic, I think. My specialty.

Though I hadn’t had many opportunities to use it.

Wait, no, but this could be good, right? Apparently, very few people could use healing magic at all, so there should be reasonable demand. Maybe. And even if my powers had grown weaker, I was still a former saint. The average healer had nothing on me! Or so I hoped.

Yes! This is it!

With that in mind, it was time for me to act. I started walking around the royal capital, partly to get a grasp of the geography. After about an hour of walking while rubbing my stomach, it occurred to me!

I was definitely not going to find any injured people just by walking around.

The Holy Kingdom of Snasile had good relations with its neighbors and was a peaceful nation that hadn’t been at war in decades, so of course there wouldn’t be any wounded just lying about.

And it’s probably a good thing that I can’t find anyone to heal!

Really, I wanted everyone to be happy, healthy, and free of injury and illness. From the bottom of my heart! Even if my empty stomach was still protesting. The world was peaceful, and because of it, I was about to starve to death. Great!

“Ow!” came a cry from somewhere, cutting loud and clear through my stupid thoughts.

I gasped. Without thinking, I took off running toward the source of the voice: a completely run-down back alley. The atmosphere was entirely unlike that of the main street.

When I carefully peeked in, I spotted a black-haired boy with his back turned.

Is he dragging one leg? I wondered. I called out gently, so as to not startle him, “Hey, are you all right?”

The boy’s shoulders jerked, and he whipped around. Based on his appearance, I estimated him to be about twelve years old at most. He glared at me fiercely with captivating golden eyes like those of a wary beast.

What pretty eyes.

“Who the heck are you?” he asked with suspicion.

“Me? I’m Evelyn,” I replied.

The boy sighed. I blinked in confusion.

“Half the city has that name, I swear,” he grumbled. “These parents have no shame, naming all their kids after the saint or whatever.”

Wait, really?!

Apparently the royal capital was now full of Evelyns. I was learning so many new things today! I wanted to ask for details, but now didn’t seem like the time for that, so instead, I stepped closer to the boy and summoned my courage.

“Sorry for startling you,” I said. “Say, I can use healing magic. Could I use it on your leg?”

He didn’t respond at first. I started fidgeting and wringing my hands nervously.

“That’s not a funny joke,” he muttered.

“Huh?”

“Healers are super rare, and the only people they use their magic on are rich or noble born.” He snorted and gave a bitter sneer. “Don’t tell me you’re a mugger. Do I look like I have anything for you to steal, lady?”

I took a closer look at him. The lighting in the alley was dim, but I could tell his clothes were quite dirty. And, despite being a growing boy, he looked horribly emaciated. It made my heart hurt.

And just a walk’s distance away, we have a luxurious royal palace...

How outrageous I must’ve seemed to this child. Still, I couldn’t falter. My own situation, too, was nothing short of desperate.

“A-Actually, I was hoping you could pay me for healing your leg,” I said.

The boy’s eyes narrowed as though he’d been expecting this. I wanted to give up but managed to bow my head.

“Please! Just one bronze piece will do!” I pleaded. “I’m in dire need of coin!”

“What?”

I-Is he mad at me?!

I panicked. The books I’d read weren’t very detailed when it came to money, so I had no idea what a fair price was.

“Is that a rip-off?! Then how about just one copper?!” I asked.

“Wait. Wait a second. I’m not following.”

“Oh. Oh no. Is there any amount smaller than a copper coin?!”

“No! There isn’t!” he shouted. Very loudly.

Reflexively, I shouted back, “I’m sorryyyyyyy!”

“Lady, have you ever been outside?”

Wait, is he calling me sheltered? No, right? I’m not sheltered. Am I...?

In case I was, I decided to ask this boy—who seemed to know more about the world than I did—about something that had been bothering me.

“S-So, would you...happen to know how much it costs to stay at an inn?”

“Uh, it depends on the place, but the cheapest inn at the capital would cost about three bronze pieces for a night,” the boy replied.

“I see!” That was good to know! “So if I heal three people, I can secure lodging for tonight!”

Finally, I could see some hope!

Seeing my excitement, the boy said in a very small voice, “I should point out that price doesn’t include food.”

“What?”

“If you want to eat too, that’d be five pieces.”

I dropped to my knees on the spot.

“Have mercy, O Mother Goddess! Forgive my impious thoughts! I should never for a moment have wondered whether I could find five injured people...!” I pleaded, sobbing. “O bountiful Mother Goddess! O beautiful Mother Goddess...!”

The boy looked at me, aghast. “Don’t kneel on the ground like that! You’ll get all dirty! Then you won’t look so nice anymore!”

I sniffled and smiled through my tears. “Thank you. You’re so kind.”

“J-Just so you know, I meant you’re dressed nice, okay?! I don’t mean you look good or anything!”

I wasn’t even thinking that! Now I felt even more dejected. Wow.

“Also, were you telling the truth earlier?” the boy asked, his eyes shifting left and right for some reason.

“About what?”

“Saying you’d heal my leg for a bronze piece.”

Immediately, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and beamed. “Of course! Leave it to me!”

Healing was now my one and only skill, after all. I’d make sure to put in even more effort than usual.

Eyeing me suspiciously, the boy stood up with his hand against the wall and rolled up his right pant leg. My eyes widened—a terrible cut, which looked like it had been gouged with a blade, ran from his knee to his calf.

“Did someone do this to you?” I asked.

“No!” he denied immediately, turning away.

I figured he didn’t want to elaborate. It seemed cruel to keep probing, so I bit my lip and returned my attention to the wound. Gently, I brought my fingers to his uninjured skin. He shuddered slightly.

His leg is hot, and the wound is festering. He’s probably not had much access to clean water.

The wound had probably been inflicted a while ago, and the thought of letting such a young child remain in such terrible pain any longer made my stomach lurch. I held both hands over the injury and focused my mind.

“Diagnose,” I chanted.

Dark-red orbs reminiscent of blood came flying out of the boy’s wound.

He was startled. “Huh?!”

Oops, his eyes are bulging. Hold on, please! Don’t run!

Whether my hopes reached him or he was simply too shocked to move, the boy remained perfectly still, transfixed by the scene before him. One after another, the floating orbs were absorbed into my palms.

I figured my spell looked different from typical healing magic. This two-stage style of diagnosis and healing was something I’d devised myself, inspired by the princess in the story. Healing magic activated when someone with the aptitude for it said an incantation out loud—but the princess had said that wasn’t enough! I had to know what was going on with my patient if I was to truly heal their injuries.

I must understand the pain.

Through the spell, stabbing pain assaulted me. It wasn’t that a similar wound had appeared on my body—I just felt his pain. Searing, terrible agony assaulted my brain, the backs of my eyes, my eardrums, my fingertips. I gritted my teeth and endured in silence. Behind my closed eyelids, the memories of how he’d been injured began to surface.

This was like a side effect of my Diagnose spell. The memories of the target’s pain and suffering were deeply etched into my body and mind both. With that, I could understand at least a fraction of what the boy had gone through. Keeping it in mind, I wished with all my heart to heal his wounds and make it all better.

“Rejuvenate!” I chanted.

Golden light, created from the mass of pain I’d extracted earlier, surged forth from my outstretched palms and scattered into countless motes of light that were absorbed into the boy’s wound. My emotions overlapped with his, and the previously dim back alley was enveloped in powerful, overflowing light.

May your suffering wash away!

When the light settled, the boy had a dumbfounded expression on his face.

“How is it? Can you move your leg without discomfort?” I asked.

The boy lifted and lowered his right leg, and his eyes widened.

“Uh, yeah. It’s...all better?” For some reason, his reply came out as a question.

Success! What a relief!

Still looking dazed, the boy rifled through his jacket pocket and produced a piece of bronze, which he held out silently with both hands. Carefully, I took the mud-caked coin.

“Thank you!” I exclaimed. Yes! I made some money!

Way to go, me! Making money just hours after getting kicked out of the basilica!

I’m so cool! Sooo awesome! Yippee! I’m a genius!

I was so happy that I probably would’ve started dancing on the spot if the boy hadn’t been there. He didn’t share my excitement, however, and still looked out of sorts. I was starting to worry, really.

“Are you all right?” I asked.

“I mean, a wound like this...” he began hesitantly. “Just, normally, it’d have cost like, a thousand times that to heal.”

“Really?!”

Yet another thing that was complete news to me. Oh no. Maybe I was just as sheltered as he thought! The idea was making me anxious.

As I held my head in my hands, the boy’s golden eyes wavered. “You’re not gonna want it?”

“Huh? Want what?”

“Money, duh!”

“But you already paid me.”

For some reason, he looked at me like I’d grown an extra head. How confusing.

“A thousand bronze pieces would be, umm...one piece of silver, right?” I asked. “I couldn’t possibly charge you all that! That’d be fraud! The neighborhood watch would come for my head!”

Money came in five varieties: copper, bronze, steel, silver, and gold. Ten of each denomination made one of the next, so it was easy to do the math. Wait...was that right? I’d never had to calculate money conversions before. I was getting a bit anxious.

“B-But it wouldn’t be fraud! Everyone knows it’d cost a thousand times more!” the boy said.

“It’s okay! I’m sheltered, you see!” I pointed out proudly. And that settles it!

The boy burst out laughing for some reason. “Really? And you’re bragging about it? Ha ha ha...!”

“You don’t have to cackle,” I muttered. It was so embarrassing! He was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach!

Seeing my sullen look, the boy mumbled, “Sorry, sorry,” and managed to contain his laughter.

Were his eyes wet with tears? They were. I was going to pretend they were not.

“Also, what were those dark red globs and that golden light?” he asked.

“Um... I don’t actually know.”

“What.”

Oh, he’s glaring at me! He must be getting better.

But really, I wasn’t trying to be coy. I really didn’t fully understand it, myself. According to the high priest, there had never been a saint in recorded history whose healing magic emitted particles of light.

“Uh, personally I think I took your pain, used my get-better-please-thanks power on it, and then returned it! Or something...? But I really am not sure,” I tried to explain, gesturing wildly and fully aware that this probably sounded outrageous.

The boy stared intently at me.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually the...” he began, then trailed off.

“Hmm? What?”

“Nothing. Never mind,” he said, shaking his head. He muttered quietly, “There’s no way.”

I was about ready to start walking again. I still needed to find two more people to heal, after all, and...wait, no, if I wanted room and board, I had to find four people to heal.

Got a long way to go still!

“Well then, I’ll be going,” I told him. “If you get hurt again... Wait, no. I hope you don’t get hurt again, but just in case you bump your head or scrape your knee, feel free to reach out!”

“And how would I do that?” he asked.

“I’ll be in the capital for a while!”

Come to think of it, hadn’t Prince Alex said something about leaving the country? Well, I didn’t have the money to do it, anyway, so that was moot. I figured my best shot was to heal people for a while, save up, then take a ship to a neighboring country. Though I’d never actually been abroad before...

The boy brought a hand to his chin pensively. Then he looked up at me and asked in a slightly tense, oddly high-pitched voice, “Then why don’t you stick with me? We can make money together.”

...Pardon?

I blinked, confused.

***

How had it come to this? I did not know.

Currently, as per the orders of Kira—the boy with the beautiful golden eyes—I was hiding in the shadows. It was evening, and according to Kira, the targets would soon walk down the road I was staring at.

Truthfully, I didn’t really understand what we were doing, but Kira had offered me the opportunity to make money together. To me, that would, of course, be a huge help, and so I hadn’t thought twice about saying, “Yes, please!” and nodding.

But then he’d turned to me and said, “Your targets will be elementary school students.”

“School!” I’d echoed. C-Could it be...? “Are you saying I get to go to school too?!”

“Why would you think that?”

R-Right. I am twenty-eight years old, after all...

To be honest, I’d always longed for school life. I’d only been five years old when I’d first shown aptitude to be a saint, so I’d spent most of my life at the Grand Basilica and never had the chance to be a student. Going to class with girls and boys my age, studying and making friends... It sounded so fun. Instead, I’d been educated to be the saint, which meant I’d studied alone.

Back at the basilica, there were a few young men and a lot—and I mean a lot—of middle-aged and elderly men.

Wow. Though I’d only been kicked out of the Grand Basilica a few hours ago, I found myself growing sentimental all of a sudden. All of those men had been so kind to me, and I hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye to them.

“So, here’s how this works,” Kira began. “First of all, little kids get lots of scrapes and things every day from getting into fights and taking tumbles. That makes them perfect targets.”

He says that like he’s not a kid himself...

I’d been thinking about it since we met, actually—Kira didn’t really talk like a young boy. He sounded really mature for his age. Besides, though he apparently wasn’t an elementary school student, I was pretty sure he was still of school age. Not that it was any of my business.

“By the way,” he said. “How many times per day can you heal people?”

“I’ve never counted, exactly, but probably as many times as I want.”

Kira heaved a startlingly deep sigh. “No way. You actually mean that?”

“Why wouldn’t I mean that?” I asked, staring at him in confusion.

Kira sighed even more deeply. “Whatever. I’ll believe you. Anyway, these kids should have decent pocket money, so we’re charging them... Let’s see... Three bronze pieces per spell.”

“Three whole pieces?! They’ll arrest me for fraud!”

“No one’s gonna arrest anyone. This is actually way too cheap.”

“Is it?!”

It had barely been a day and already my understanding of the world had changed so much.

Ignoring my dumbfoundedness, Kira continued, “What else...? Oh, right. Don’t do the floaty red orb thing.”

“Why not?”

“It looks weird and kinda gross too.”

Tears of utter sorrow streamed down my face. Ah, the honesty of children...

“B-But what about the golden lights?” I asked. “I can’t keep those from coming out...”

“Actually, make even more of those. They’ll generate extra buzz.”

Buzz?

I had no idea what he meant, but it sounded like the more golden lights, the better.

“All right, then! Golden light extravaganza it is!” I declared, clenching my fist.

Kira gave me an approving nod. “So, high-ranking noble kids ride carriages to and from school. Only lower-ranked nobles or commoners with enough money to attend school walk down this road, so those are the ones we’ll aim for. Preferably, the ones walking alone.”

“You know so many things, Kira.”

“Not that many, really.”

“I mean it! You’re still so young, but you’re so well-informed!”

For some reason, Kira seemed to take offense to that. I’d meant it as a compliment!

“So, first...”

And then he’d gone on to explain the process.

What was it he said? I thought. First, I should try talking to someone. Right.

In front of me was a road that children crossed daily on their way back and forth between the elementary school and the main street. Behind me was Kira, who’d promised to back me up if anything unusual happened. Very reassuring!

I held my breath and waited quietly for a while, until—

Someone’s coming! I thought, and immediately jumped out of my hiding spot.

Walking alone down the road was a brown-haired boy, maybe about...ten or so? He looked unfriendly and had gauze taped over his right eye. He gave off troublemaker vibes.

“H-Hello!” I said.

The boy looked at me, puzzled.

He’s wary of me!

But I couldn’t back down here! Instead, I thought back on the lines I’d rehearsed.

“U-Um, would you like me to touch you where it hurts?”

“What?!”

“I’ll touch you real good! It’ll feel great! I’ll touch you so thoroughly, you’ll be like, ‘Enough already!’ And all I ask for in exchange is some some mone—”

A pair of hands reached for me from behind and dragged me back into the alley.

“What’s your problem?!” Kira shouted, red as an apple.

Whaaat? “Hey, I tried my best to think of something to say! What did I do wrong?” I asked, pleading with my eyes for him to explain.

Kira turned even redder. He scratched his head roughly, grumbling and groaning. What was wrong with him?

“Okay, okay, that was on me!” he said finally. “I’ll come up with something for you to say!”

“O-Okay. Thanks?”

“So don’t say stuff like that to guys anymore!”

“Stuff like what?” I asked, trying to remember what I’d said that was so terrible.

“Just don’t!” he snapped again. “It’s not allowed! All right?!”

“O-Okay,” I said, nodding as hard as I could.

Kira’s anger finally seemed to subside. “Let’s go, then.”

“All right!” I replied energetically. He was being so helpful, after all! Okay, I’ve got this now!

***

And the result was...

“Wow! Look, Kira, look! I made sixty-one pieces of bronze in one day!”

I was so happy I could’ve danced, but Kira stayed cool. Although...the corners of his mouth were slightly upturned, so he seemed pleased with the results too. I had healed twenty-one people total, Kira included, and achieved my goal!

“Listen. It’s important to stay mysterious,” Kira had told me. “You need to draw people in and make them buy what you’re selling, you know?”

Under such capable direction, I’d managed to pull it off. First, I would slip out of the alley and wistfully call out to any students walking alone, like, “Ah, I see the pain and suffering in you. You work so hard. You don’t deserve this.”

It was key to have tears glistening in my eyes, apparently.

When I gazed at these children tearfully, as per Kira’s instructions, both boys and girls would blush dreamily. I wasn’t sure why, actually.

“Wh-Who are you, miss?” one of them had asked.

“Me? I’m a beautiful angel, sent by the heavens to heal the people of this land,” I’d said.

It had sounded absolutely insane even to my own ears, but for some reason, everyone seemed convinced. Though I felt bad deceiving innocent children, I’d told myself this was all so I could have a place to sleep and food in my belly tonight. Thus, I’d psyched myself up and cast spell after spell.

Indeed I had.

And just as Kira had predicted, elementary school students invariably had all sorts of injuries and maladies. My healing magic was effective not just for wounds but also for cavities, colds, and even things like declining eyesight. So, except for the kids who’d gotten suspicious and taken off running, I’d successfully healed pretty much everyone.

This is also apparently unique to me among all saints.

My spells would’ve been even more effective combined with Diagnose, but since these were healthy school children, none had particularly serious injuries. Even though dancing motes of light were all they saw when I used my magic, the children looked awed, as though they were witnessing a miracle.

And that was how that had gone.

Having earned lots of bronze pieces in just about two hours, I was beside myself—and my stomach was stirring back to life. The evening bell rang, and the area was growing dark. With fewer people around, it was probably time to call it for the day.

“Kira, do you have a home?” I asked, just to be sure.

“No,” he replied. “I mean, you can tell, right? Look at me.”

“I don’t either,” I said with a smile. “Why don’t we both stay at an inn?”

“But that’s your money.”

“Which I only earned thanks to your help. More than half of this is rightfully yours.”

Had I been by myself, there was no way I could’ve made that much. Kira still seemed hesitant, but after a while, he gave a small nod.

“Okay, but...no inn around here will take a child in such filthy clothes,” he said.

I clapped my hands together, beaming. “Then let’s go to the public bath! We made plenty of money today, after all!”

Kira’s eyes widened for a moment, and then he chuckled. “Starting tomorrow, I think ‘plenty’ won’t even begin to cover it.”

Oh, he’s smiling! Uh, smirking, more like.

I didn’t say that out loud, though. He looked so happy.

***

The following evening...

“Wow, miss, you’re so cool! Just like my classmates said!”

“Thank you,” I said. “Are you all better?”

“Yeah! It doesn’t hurt anymore! Thanks! Oh, here—the money!” the girl said. After handing me the three bronze pieces, she smiled and waved. “Buh-bye!”

I waved back, and when the girl was gone, I hopped and skipped and jumped my way to the alley where Kira was waiting for me. He was now wearing new clothes—inexpensive, since we couldn’t afford anything better, but with no tears or stains. And he looked much healthier than yesterday, probably because he’d slept with a full belly, in a good bed, and with a roof over his head.

Since we didn’t have a lot of money, we had one room, but separate beds. I didn’t mind either way, but Kira had insisted that he’d take the floor if we got a single-bed room, so that was what we’d settled on.

“I did it, Kira! Another success!” I exclaimed.

“All right,” he said. “This makes ninety-nine bronze pieces today.”

I could’ve high-fived him, but Kira had the sharp look of a strategist as he coolly counted the money.

Including this girl, I’d healed thirty-three students today. Counting the ones from yesterday, it was fifty-four total, which meant I’d made a hundred and sixty pieces of bronze. Things were going so well that it scared me a little—and we’d only been hiding in the alley for less than an hour today!

“I ate well, so I think I can heal however many more show up today!” I said.

“You didn’t run out of magic yesterday either, though,” Kira pointed out.

I chuckled excitedly. “It’s about how I’m feeling, not just how much magic I have. I think I could heal all the residents of the capital if I had to!”

The corners of Kira’s lips quirked into a small smile for a moment before he quickly caught himself and covered his mouth.

“You really are something, Kira!” I continued, my eyes practically sparkling. “I can’t believe how well this is going!”

Kira cleared his throat and asked, “Did you notice how many more students were walking alone today?”

“Huh. Now that you mention it...”

Not only that, a lot of the children were looking around as they walked past.

Kira spoke as though revealing a magician’s trick. “Kids love secrets, see.”

“Secrets?” I echoed.

“Yep. And while they’ll keep secrets from their parents and teachers, they’ll tell their classmates. And so the more time passes, the more money we’ll make.”

“Why would they tell their classmates?”

“Because they found this cool, special thing, and they want to brag. You’re like a treasure to them,” Kira said with a roguish grin. He actually looked like a boy his age, smiling like that. “Kids who walk home alone usually don’t have many friends. So going, ‘Hey, I was walking home alone and this pretty lady came out of an alley and healed my scrapes!’ acts as a conversation starter, you know? So now meeting this woman gives people bragging rights, and then, bam. Everyone’s gonna want to come find you.”

“Did you just call me a treasure? Did you say I’m pretty?” I can’t believe he thinks of me that way!

I extended my arms to hug Kira, but he dodged out of the way just in time. And he looked disgusted too. M-My feelings.

“I’m just saying anyone would think you’re an angel when you randomly appear and help people, all right?! That’s all!” he said.

“That’s right. I randomly appeared and healed your leg, didn’t I?”

“I’m talking about them, not me!” he snapped, red with indignation.

“Sorry, sorry,” I said, smiling.

“Anyway,” he continued, still wary, “we’re only just getting started here.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re just laying the groundwork to reel in bigger fish.”

Fish? I wondered. Are we going fishing?!

Just then, my stomach rumbled, and Kira looked at me as though I were pitiful.

Chapter Two: A Pretty Big Fish

Ten days had passed since Kira and I had begun our alley-lurking scheme.

I didn’t even need to leave the alley anymore—the students were seeking me out directly, and thanks to that, we’d made a significant amount of money. Between my share and Kira’s, we’d made a total of 1,200 bronze pieces.

And apparently now the children were calling me the Angel of the Alley. In fact, a few had called me “Ms. Angel” to my face. At first I’d been a bit embarrassed, but now I was used to it.

They’d say, “Ms. Angeeel!” and I’d say, “Hiii,” and Kira would always start laughing at me. Oof.

Maybe I should ask Kira what he thinks about dessert after dinner, I thought, all smiles as I gazed upon our mountain of bronze. Pudding sounds good...

And then it happened.

“Um, Ms. Angel...?” came a young boy’s voice, just as I was thinking about wrapping up for the day.

Recognizing him, I said, “Oh, Cain!”

Cain was a young boy with golden curls and blue eyes, probably around Kira’s age. Also, he looked a lot more angelic and lovely than I did, honestly! Anyway, I’d met him yesterday when he came to me for help with a hangnail, so I wondered if there was something else he needed healed today. But...his behavior seemed a little different.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, stepping closer.

Cain’s eyebrows drooped. He tried his best to explain, though he was mumbling a bit. “Um, Ms. Angel, my brother...”

“Yes? Your brother...?”

“He’s hurt really bad,” he managed finally, looking like he was about to cry.

“Can you take me to him?” I asked without hesitation.

Cain looked shocked. “Really?”

“Of course! He’s injured. I should go to him.”

“But you live in the alley...”

“Just because I come out of the alley doesn’t mean I live in it! I’m staying at an inn!” I protested.

“Oh, okay,” Cain said with a small sigh.

Did all the other students think I lived in the alley too? They did, didn’t they?

As I deflated internally, Kira, who had been listening from behind me, snapped his ledger shut.

“Finally, we hooked a big one,” he said.

“Are we going fishing?!” I asked excitedly.

“Something like that. C’mon, let’s go.”

Kira and I followed Cain out to the main street, where a carriage was waiting.

***

“My house’s in the neighboring town of Semme,” explained Cain, sitting across from us in the carriage. “It takes about an hour to get there.”

I haven’t ridden a carriage in a while...

Naturally, I hadn’t had any opportunities to ride carriages while living in the basilica.

“Wow. Modern carriages are something else! My butt doesn’t even hurt...!” I marveled.

Besides, the scenery was flowing past much faster than in the carriage I’d ridden only just...um, twenty-three years ago! How impressive.

Kira, who sat by the window and was resting his cheek on his hand, said without looking at me, “This whippersnapper’s family just has a good carriage, that’s all. The wheels don’t squeak and the seat cushions are soft too.”

Whippersnapper...? Was...that a word people actually used?

Kira cast Cain a sharp sidelong glance, and the golden-haired boy’s shoulders twitched.

“Also, don’t you usually take this fancy carriage to and from school?” Kira asked.

Cain stammered. “I-I...”

“You were on foot yesterday because you’d heard stories about the angel, right?”

Cain nodded hesitantly.

I tilted my head quizzically. “How did you know, Kira?”

“Look at him. Look at his clothes. He’s obviously from a high-ranking noble family,” Kira said matter-of-factly.

It was true that Cain’s outfit was very different from the other children’s. It was a silk ensemble, very elegant, with modest lace trim incorporated throughout. He looked comfortable in it too, so I figured Kira was right.

“You just wanted to test this supposed angel’s healing magic, didn’t you?” Kira probed.

Cain’s eyes widened with fear, and he nodded again. “Everyone was talking about it. So I thought maybe Ms. Angel could heal my brother too...”

“And the ‘angel’ passed your test,” Kira concluded.

I see. I didn’t know, I thought. I’d only healed Cain’s hangnail, which hadn’t been that impressive, but something about me must’ve resonated with him.

“So, Cain, what’s wrong with your brother?” I asked.

Cain’s expression darkened. “He just inherited the title of count from our father,” he began.

Kira’s eyes lit up like he’d just smelled money.

“Father created a task force to chase demons out of our territory. He was its leader, and my brother took over that duty too.”

Demons! I thought, gasping.

Demons were dangerous creatures born from miasma—a type of noxious gas that emanated from underground. Because it spread illness and spawned demons, miasma was a constant threat to the citizens of our nation. As the saint, I had offered prayer after prayer to curb the miasma and keep demons from spawning. Since the Holy Kingdom of Snasile had been blessed with generation after generation of talented saints, the damage from miasma and demons had been minimal until now.

“Our territory had barely seen any demons over the last twenty years, and our father used to comment every day about how amazing St. Evelyn was,” Cain said, his eyes glinting. “But a few days ago, clouds of miasma began to appear near our lands. Two days ago, my brother shielded me from a demon that emerged from the miasma, and he got bitten. We called in healers, but there was nothing that could be done...”

With that, Cain fell silent, again looking like he was about to cry.

I was so shocked I could barely speak.

What is Mary doing?!

When Alex kicked me from the Grand Basilica, he’d said she would be the next saint. And that role came with responsibility. As long as she was the saint, she had the duty to devote her life to protecting the people of this country.

I gently reached for Cain’s shoulders, and he looked up at me, eyes wet with unshed tears. It made my heart ache to see him like this, and from this close up, I could see the fatigue etched across his features too. He was likely not sleeping well.

“It’s okay, Cain,” I said. “I’ll save your brother.”

“R-Really...?”

“Yes. You love him, right? I’ll help him.”

My words had been meant as encouragement, but Cain’s expression remained dark.

I cleared my throat. “I have a sibling too. A younger sister, you see.”

“Are you two close?” he asked.

“No, we’re practically at each other’s throats at all times.”

Cain looked dismayed.

“We don’t get along, but I don’t hate her, you know? Like, true, she is a selfish, thoughtless, rotten blockhead. She’s cute, sure, but she’s awful, mean, and the kind of girl who would hit you with a mocking smirk while stealing your fiancé. But I don’t hate hate her.”

“D-Do you really not hate her?”

“Of course not! I just said she’s cute.”

“Sounds like this girl’s face is the only thing worth praising,” Kira muttered to himself.

That wasn’t true!

“Anyway, what I’m trying to say is,” I continued, “I think your brother loves you very much too, Cain.”

Cain looked at me, startled.

“I’m sure your brother would be sad to see you sad. You don’t have to force a smile, but...stay strong, okay?”

“O-Okay...!” Cain replied. He wiped away his tears with his sleeve and nodded firmly.

I nodded back. Not only was I the former saint, but I’d offered him my personal encouragement. My responsibility was clear. I absolutely must cure his brother!

After a little while, Cain’s mood seemed to have lifted a little. He glanced over at Kira and, as if he’d been curious for some time, asked, “Oh, um, by the way, who’s that boy...?”

Since Kira had never shown himself while I was conning—I mean, speaking to the children—this was their first meeting.

“Oh, right!” I said. “This is Kira. My very first friend!”

For some reason, Kira was astonished. “What?!”

I ignored him. “He talks a little roughly, but he’s a good kid. Please try and have a conversation with him, okay?”

“U-Um... Yes, of course! Nice to meet you, Kira!” Cain said, determined.

Kira did not respond.

Just then, the carriage came to a stop. We’d arrived at Cain’s home, it seemed.

“This way, Ms. Angel, Kira!” Cain called out.

With him leading the way, we got out of the carriage and ran through the incredibly magnificent estate of the Manilas family. The people we passed in the halls—likely the servants—were visibly surprised to see us, but when Cain explained that I was the angel lady who’d healed his hangnail, they seemed to understand and cleared the way for us.

Well, hangnails can be pretty painful!

We ran up a grand staircase. Deep within the mansion, we at last reached a door, which Cain flung open unceremoniously, without bothering to knock.

“Brother!” he called out.

At that moment, a chill ran down my spine.

The air is thick with miasma!

I’d been able to sense the miasma from the moment we’d first approached the count’s territory. This whole area seemed clouded with it, and if this had been the case for several days now, the people living around here must’ve been suffering a great deal.

Somehow, I managed to step into the room. Perhaps it was an infirmary or sickroom of sorts—the only piece of furniture was a large bed, upon which lay a brown-haired young man. Sweat was rolling down his forehead, his eyes were closed, and he seemed feeble. I could sense a dark, ominous aura emanating from the bandaged part of his left arm.

This isn’t a normal injury, I could tell. He was exposed to miasma when the demon attacked him.

Indeed, an ordinary healer wouldn’t have been able to treat this. A film of miasma covered the wound, sealing out any magic.

An elderly maid who had been nursing the young man stood up, confused.

“Young Master, who might your guests be?” she asked.

“That’s Ms. Angel! She healed my hangnail! And that’s her friend!” Cain explained.

“I see!”

Apparently I was quite famous within the count’s family already.

The maid stepped back against the wall. I gave her a small nod and knelt beside the bed. With no time to waste, I held both hands over the young man’s left arm.

“Diagnose.”

A number of dark-colored orbs emerged from the bandage and floated up into the air before being absorbed into my palms.

The maid yelped and Cain’s eyes widened, but...he didn’t say anything. He must’ve really trusted me.

“Ugh, gross,” Kira grumbled from behind me.

But I couldn’t afford to pay him any mind right now! Also, it was not gross. Not gross at all!

Allow me to understand your pain, sir.

Well, I was calling him “sir,” but I was pretty sure I was at least five years older than him. Oh well, details, details.

Cain had said his brother had tried to protect him and been bitten by a demon in the process. Transmitted through the young man’s pain, the memories of the attack flashed clearly through my mind. The two brothers had been walking down the road, side by side, with Cain smiling. And then, behind his little brother, this young man had seen a pair of golden eyes and heard a growl. Before he could even process what was happening, he’d stretched out an arm and shoved Cain away.

Immediately, his mind had been clouded over with pain, but he’d nevertheless reached for the sword at his waist and stabbed the creature biting his left arm, defeating it. Even in the depths of agony, he’d committed to fulfilling his duty so this monster couldn’t attack anyone else.

What a kind man...

Cain and the people of their family’s domain were much more important to this young man than his own safety. Even now, as he gasped every so often in pain, he held no regret in his heart. Only two emotions came through strongly: He took great pride in having protected his brother and blamed himself for his own inadequacy.

I’d been about to incant the Rejuvenate spell when I paused. He was in too much pain, and my magical power had grown weaker. It was questionable whether just Rejuvenate would be enough. Thus, I decided to go with a different spell.

Wishing with all my heart that he would get better, that he would make Cain smile again, I thought, I’ll transform your pain. And, of course, another important thing: I’ll crush the miasma too!

“Purify!”

At that moment, golden light flowed freely from my hands, filling my field of vision. It was so strong it felt as though it were enveloping the entire estate. Still, I didn’t close my eyes and kept my gaze focused on the man before me.

The light washed away the dark cloud surrounding him in an instant and surged toward his wound. Countless bloodstains vanished without a trace.

About a minute later, when the golden light finally began to settle, the sounds of multiple voices and footsteps echoed near the door behind me.

“Cain! What was that light?!”

I turned around to see an elegant, beautiful woman and an equally handsome man standing there anxiously. The man had his arm around the woman’s shoulders, and she was helping him stand. These were, I assumed, Cain’s parents.

“Please be at ease,” I told them with a gentle smile. “Your son’s injury is—”

The words died on my tongue as I felt a pair of hands grip mine tightly. I hesitantly turned my head and looked down, only to find that the young man’s bluish-gray eyes were open, staring feverishly at me.

“U-Um...?” I mumbled. His hands? Hello?

Was he dazed because he’d only just recovered? Maybe he had me confused for someone? A lover, perhaps?

Flustered, I tried to pry my hands free, but his grip was firm.

The young man gazed up at me, his eyes serious, and declared in a low, hoarse voice, “Oh beautiful one, will you marry me?”

And then he fainted, still gripping my hands.

Oh.

“What?!” I finally managed.

But by then, he was already snoozing peacefully.

***

“Diiiiiiieeeee!”

“Eek!”

Alex was absolutely, utterly terrified.

“You! You, you! How dare you! How dare you!” snapped an elderly man, his eyes bloodshed and his back bent from age. The angry words sent spittle flying everywhere.

The priests held him back and tried to calm him, but Alex could tell that even they were seething with rage.

Why are these people so mad at me?! Alex wondered.

It was confusing beyond measure. As far as Alex was concerned, he’d brought them good news!

He’d told them, “St. Evelyn was getting old, and so I expelled her from the Grand Basilica. I told her to leave the country too, so she’s probably at the border by now. But there’s no need to worry about the future! Evelyn’s youthful sister, Mary, has the qualities of a saint!”

They should have been acclaiming his wisdom, not treating him like the scum of the earth! He wouldn’t stand for such treatment, and finding his spine, Alex stood up straight.

“Who are you to tell me to ‘die,’ you filthy old geezer?!” the prince retorted. “I am the heir to the throne, and I am the noblest of all the—”

“Diiiiiiieeeee!!!” the old man shrieked, lunging at Alex.

“Eeeeeeek!!!”

Alex practically threw himself backward against the wall. The high priest was just that intimidating. The prince stood there, cowering slightly, his face drenched in the old man’s spittle.

His brothers—the handsome and sullen second prince Igna and the sweetly beautiful third prince Oz, who had also been summoned to the basilica—sighed in unison.

“Brother,” said Oz, “even we can’t defend you on this one.”

Igna nodded and added, “Indeed. Perhaps it would be best to just allow the high priest to kill you.”

“You two too?! What the heck!” Alex screamed.

Oz shrugged, then said casually, “You just exiled someone who’s more important than even His Majesty the King.”

“What?”

“Kings can be replaced as needed, but saints cannot. The Holy Kingdom of Snasile can only exist because of the saint.”

Alex just stood there in silent confusion.

Oz’s face turned stern. “To be clear,” he said in a sharp tone, “you do know who it is that keeps the miasma from rising? Who it is that prays day in, day out to keep our people safe?”

“B-But with Mary as the new saint, that won’t be an issue!” Alex protested.

“And we’ll soon see exactly how skilled she is, won’t we?” Oz retorted, his expression still frigid. “But allow me to say this: Not a single citizen cares to remember your face, but they all praise and revere St. Evelyn. The only two people in this nation who harbor ill feelings toward her are you and Lady Mary.”

Alex was aghast.

“Now our country has lost its saint. Miasma will surge from underground and swallow everything. We’re all going to perish. How does it feel, brother, to have destroyed your own homeland with your foolishness?”

“That’s enough, Oz,” Igna interjected.

He’s defending me! Alex thought, moved.

“It’s best to not speak to utter scum like him,” Igna muttered coldly.

Alex was stunned.

“Those greedy vermin,” spat the high priest, still restrained by the other priests. “How dare they use St. Evelyn’s good name to erect a statue of that bitch! I’ll kill them! No, I’ll boil them in a pot first so they suffer horribly, then kill them!”

His words were very inappropriate for someone in holy orders.

This was all so outrageously different from what Alex had expected. But, despite his complete disbelief, he wasn’t the type to know when to stay silent.

“S-So you say now, but no one stopped me from breaking off my engagement with Evelyn!”

Alex had thought this would be a gotcha moment. But...Oz just glowered hatefully at him.

“Stop you? From what? Being a complete idiot and revealing your affair to St. Evelyn? She couldn’t possibly have stayed engaged to a bastard like you.”

“B-But neither of you stepped in either!”

“Trust us, we would have loved to,” Oz said, pressing his fingers to his temples as if fending off a headache. “Listen, you airhead. Fooling around with girls all day must have rotted your brain, but I’ll try to explain in a way you can comprehend. Since you, the crown prince, broke off your engagement with the saint, the only people in a position to propose to her would’ve been me and Igna.”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Alex protested. “I know that!”

“Then allow me to ask you this: What woman would accept a marriage proposal from a brother of the man who so cruelly abandoned her?”

Ah, yes. I suppose no woman would... Alex reflected.

Silence fell upon the room. That is, until the high priest burst into tears.

“Oh, St. Evelyn! My sweet crybaby!” he wailed. “She was shocked by the treatment she received from this pathetic excuse of a man! The poor saint was in such a state that she drenched her pillow with tears every night. It was all we could do to stand there, listening to her muffled sobs, with tears and snot of our own running down our faces! We prayed and prayed for her peace of mind!”

The priests restraining the elderly man, moved by his words, loosened their grip and began to cry with him. Some tried but failed to hold back their tears, letting out ugly, manly sobs.

How unsightly! Way too unsightly. It was suffocating—and irritating—to Alex.

“Oh, sure, you all say that, but all of you kept her at arm’s length!” the prince accused.

“We’ve been watching over her for twenty-three years!” the high priest shouted, squirming. The man seemed about to drop dead from overexertion. “Ah, I remember how adorable she was as a little girl! Her sweet little pitter-patter down the hallway! Her blush as she called me grandpa! The way she’d tug on my sleeve when tired, then lean against me and fall asleep! Oh, those lovely snoozing sounds! We’ve been her stalwart guardians all this time! She’s like a granddaughter to us!”

“She’s a daughter to me!” another priest said.

“She’s a wife to me!”

“She’s a holy mother to me!”

“She’s a—”

“Silence, you lot!” the high priest snapped. “St. Evelyn is my granddaughter!”

That very effectively shut up the others.

“And so, after some time mercilessly going at each other’s throats just like that, we finally came up with something—the Saint Inviolability Pact.”

Alex and even Igna and Oz swallowed loudly.

“What the heck is that?” Alex asked.

“It is as its name implies! We dispose of anyone who tries to worm his way into St. Evelyn’s confidence and speak to her, bring her gifts, or give her letters!”

“What?”

“We string them up and beat them to death.”

Alex was truly exhausted by this entire display. In short, the all-male clergy of the Grand Basilica loved Evelyn so much they didn’t know what to do, and so they’d kept their distance. Or...something. How ridiculous, he thought, scoffing.

“First of all, she’s not a girl anymore. She’s twenty-eight this year, an old hag way past marriageab— Gwuh!”

At that moment, something struck Alex’s head with full force. His vision swam and split, and then...his head felt cold.

Before him stood the high priest, breathing heavily.

Alex felt something warm and red trickling down between his eyes. Am I bleeding?

It took him a few moments to grasp that he’d just been struck with the high priest’s staff—no one had ever dared raise a hand to him before, after all.

“Y-You! You dare hit the crown prince in the head?!” Alex spat.

“The crown prince?!” the high priest scoffed. “More like the crown prick! I’ll smash that stupid skull of yours again!”

“Did you just make a phallic joke at the expense of your prince?! That’s lèse-majesté!”

“And I’ll make as many phallic jokes as it takes! Prick, tool, junk! Look, everyone, it’s His Royal Jackass, the Crown Prick!”

Though Alex was enraged, everyone else—including his traitorous brothers—was holding back laughter. The crown prince, whose pride was loftier than the loftiest mountain, clenched his fists in anger as blood continued to drip onto the floor.

And then—

“Waaah! Aleeex!”

“Mary?!”

Mary came running in from the hallway with a number of priests on her heels. “Everyone’s so mean to meee!” she wailed.

Alex glared furiously at the priests.

“You! What did you do to her?!” he demanded.

“What did we do?” one of the priests echoed. “We had the misfortune of attending the saint’s (lol) sham of a prayer ceremony, but it was so worthless we figured we’d peace out.”

“What do you mean, ‘(lol)’?! And ‘sham’?! Mary is a real saint!”

Alex stepped closer to the bawling Mary while holding his split forehead.

“S-So, Mary, that means you’ll heal my wound, right?” he asked.

“What?” she replied.

“The head priest whacked me with his staff! Look, I’m bleeding! It’s a grave injury!”

He’d expected Mary to immediately use magic to heal him, but...

“No. I can’t handle wounds that serious,” she said instead, tilting her head. “Oh! But I can cure hangnails!”

“Mary,” Alex began, dumbfounded, “didn’t you say you could use incredibly advanced healing magic?”

“I can! Isn’t it impressive? I can cure hangnails! They’re kind of painful if you don’t take care of them.”

Alex was silent for a moment. “Please send her home.”

The priests nodded.

“W-Wait! Aleeex!”

Mary was shouting something as the priests escorted her away, but he couldn’t afford to deal with her right now. At this rate, he’d end up in a precarious position. Even he could see that.

“So, crown prick,” Oz said, “what will you do?”

Despite the derogatory nickname, Alex’s tone was meek when he asked, “About what?”

“About the fact that you need to announce to the public that you drove St. Evelyn from the Grand Basilica, the fact that the citizens will stage a coup, the fact that you’ll be tortured and beheaded... You know. Things of that nature.”

After a pause, Alex replied, “What do you think I should do?”

“It would be quickest to just die.”

“I see. I should die...” Alex mused. “Wait, no! There has to be another way! Please, tell me what I can do!” he pleaded, bowing his head.

“I don’t hate this meek version of you,” Oz muttered. Then, dismissively, he continued, “Anyway, since a public announcement would end in tragedy, we’ll have to ask the priests to search for St. Evelyn, apologize profusely to her, and somehow convince her to return to the Grand Basilica. There’s no alternative.”

Alex had calmed down a little now. He considered his brother’s words and reflected, That...sounds like it’ll be difficult...

***

Theodore Manilas. That was the name of the handsome young man of twenty-three. His father had told me as much while I tried desperately to extricate myself from his grip.

“I injured my back, you see,” explained his father, Lord Jackson, “so I decided to retire.”

Lord Theodore, who had inherited the title of count, had been learning the art of managing the domain under his father’s guidance. He’d also taken over public roles like patrolling towns and attending parties.

“I, I could heal your back too, if you’d like!” I offered.

“Truly?! That would be more than I could ask for,” Lord Jackson said.

“It, it, it, it will be my pleasure!”

The reason I was stammering between ragged breaths was that—well, I was still trying to pull my hands free of Lord Theodore’s.

At first, I’d struggled on my own, but the sleeping count’s grip was so extraordinarily strong that Kira, unable to bear standing by and watching any longer, had joined in, hesitantly pulling at my waist. But that hadn’t worked either.

“I’m so sorry about my brother!” Cain said while also trying to help, also in vain.

So here we were, my hands stuck in Lord Theodore’s, Kira’s arms around my waist, Cain’s arms around Kira’s waist, Cain’s mother’s arms around Cain’s waist, the head maid’s arms around Cain’s mother, a maid’s around the head maid, then another maid, then another maid, and another, and another, until the entire staff was now involved, breathlessly straining to free my hands.

“Heave-ho! Heave-ho!” we all shouted in unison, combining our strength in desperate struggle.

I remember reading a fairy tale in a picture book that went kind of like this, I thought to myself as we pulled. From a northern country, I think it was?

Just as my mind began to wander, we finally succeeded, and I was free from Lord Theodore’s grip at last. An exhausting ordeal for every last one of us.

***

Lord Theodore’s parents had, it seemed, given him the earful of a lifetime.

“I’m really, truly sorry about yesterday!” the handsome lordling said with a dejected look on his face. Though still confined to his bed, he bowed his head deeply.

“Oh, please, it was no trouble!” I replied, vigorously shaking my head.

Since we’d ended up staying late last night, Kira and I had been allowed to sleep in the magnificent guest house next to the count’s mansion. The rooms were spacious, the beds fluffy and stuffed with down feathers. The maids and servants had all been very kind and thoughtful, and the food, the food! Out-of-this-world amazing. In other words, it had been awesome.

They’d taken my simple saint’s robe away for washing, and the excited maids had dressed me up in a cute gown trimmed with ribbons and lace. I looked like a proper noble lady.

Well, I used to be a proper noble lady...

Honestly, being twenty-eight and unmarried, I felt a little silly wearing such a frilly outfit. For a moment, I’d wondered if they were mocking me by putting me in this, but...they seemed to mean well. I really couldn’t complain.

Kira had told me first thing in the morning that he had “important business to attend to,” and was currently in the guest room with Lord Jackson.

A maid had called me over to this corner room on the second floor, claiming Lord Theodore wanted to see me. So...here I was, face-to-face with him.

He’d woken up this morning fully recovered and able to move his arm freely. He seemed eager to be up and about, but I wanted him to rest for at least a full day, so I’d answered his summons in hopes of at least chatting with him and keeping him company.

Lord Theodore looked so dejected that I wished I could do something to cheer him up. I clasped my hands together and smiled.

“There’s a fairy tale in a northern country called the Great Big Fish, where the antagonist is the master of the swamp. And he’s, er, the big fish from the title. Anyway, I was very moved by the thought of the fishermen all working together to catch it! And yesterday, I got to learn how they felt, so it was a very valuable experience!”

“You’re right,” Lord Theodore said apologetically. “You saved me, and I acted like an irrational giant fish...”

“I’ve always wanted to go fishing! Really, I should be thanking you—”

“No, I was worse than a giant fish! Even a fish would know better than to forcibly grip the hands of an unwilling lady and snooze away like that...”

“I’m so sorry! My attempt at cheering you up went terribly!”

We kept bowing our heads to one another in mutual apology. Then, something seemed to shift, and I lifted my head to find Lord Theodore gazing intently at me. It made me a little nervous.

“Um, Lord Theodore? If you keep staring at me like that, you’ll bore a hole through my head,” I said timidly.

Lord Theodore gasped and clapped a hand to his mouth. “My deepest apologies. Your beauty was simply too captivating.”

He was so ashamed that he even shifted on the sheets to face away from me. His ears, peeking out from his brown hair, were a faint shade of red.

Eek! I squealed internally. I could’ve just about melted into a puddle.

We’d only just met, but I could already tell that this young count was too pure for this world.

What was it that Kira said, again? “Anyone would think you’re an angel when you randomly appear and help people.” Right.

I must’ve looked like an angel or a goddess to Lord Theodore at this moment. Oh no. Was he going to be disappointed when he came to his senses...?

“A-Anyway,” I stammered. “I’m very glad that you’re feeling better, Lord Theodore! I’ll be taking my leave, then!”

Before I could beat a hasty retreat, Lord Theodore said, “Father told me that the miasma throughout our lands has subsided since last night.”

I found myself turning back around, and he was still looking at me—but his gaze was different somehow, more probing, like he was trying to see through me.

“To be precise, it dissipated completely the moment you used your incredible healing spell.”

My shoulders jerked and stiffened.

Yesterday, I’d cast Purify to dispel the miasma clinging to Lord Theodore’s body, but I must’ve overdone it and inadvertently cleansed all the miasma from this town.

I mean, that’s fine, in and of itself! Fine, yes, but...!

“And your name is...Lady Evelyn, correct?” he asked.

“I-I, um, like I said before, I’m...Evelyn the angel who’s just passing by,” I said, flustered.

Oh no. Had he figured out my true identity already?

Lord Theodore gently grasped my arm, startling me.

“I apologize for touching you without permission,” he said. “But Lady Evelyn, you seem quite physical and solid for an angel.”

“Ph-Physical angels are all the rage in heaven right now.”

That sounds ridiculous even to my own ears!

He got up from the bed and, with elegant movements, drew my hand closer and...placed a soft kiss on the back of my hand.

I was startled all over again, my jaw dropping open. Warmth seemed to gradually radiate from where his lips had touched my skin, and my body temperature was rising rapidly. Steam just might’ve seeped from my gaping mouth.

I wasn’t sure whether Lord Theodore had noticed my bewilderment, but his eyes narrowed as he kept his gaze fixed on me.

“O beautiful angel,” he said in a soft, hoarse tone, “would you take pity on this enchanted mortal? Would you marry me?”

Ahhh! That voice was so seductive, my ears were ringing!

“Th-That was a funny jest,” I managed.

“It was no jest. I’m rather awkward, you see, and not good at jests.”

Unable to meet his sincere gaze, I looked away.

Kiraaa!!! Save meee!!! I cried out internally while on the verge of tears.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that my reliable little protector was in the middle of financial negotiations with Lord Jackson.

Chapter Three: Might You Be a Bumbling Detective?

“F-Five gold pieces?!” I shrieked loud enough that Kira plugged his ears with his fingers, scowling.

Lord Theodore had freed me from my plight, but not before offering me a refined smile and promising to show me around the domain tomorrow. Restless, I’d been rolling around in the room they’d set up for me when Kira stopped by.

He’d finished negotiating with Lord Jackson, Lord Theodore’s father, and was telling me how that had gone. My eyes were so wide they could’ve rolled out of their sockets.

Kira was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his lips upturned into a small smile. Since I’d thought it wouldn’t be very nice to sit on the couch by myself, I’d joined him on the floor and was sitting across from him. A milky white carpet covered it, so it was pretty easy on the bum. The luxuries that a count could afford...

“Kira, what did you and Lord Jackson talk about?!” I asked.

“I asked for five,” Kira pointed out. “He wanted to pay more than double that.”

More than double?!

So...over ten gold?! I couldn’t even begin to fathom that amount of money, what with my coinpurse only having bronze pieces in it at the moment.

But...that means they’re grateful, right?

Not just for Lord Theodore’s healing, but also because last night, after dinner, I’d used my magic to cure Lord Jackson’s back pain. Incidentally, he seemed to be having fun with horseback riding right now, since I could hear the cheerful clip-clop of hooves outside and what sounded like Lord Jackson strangely crying out, “Yahoo!”

He had to be truly pleased.

Maybe this also includes payment for cleansing the miasma, I thought. Both Lord Theodore and his father had concluded that my healing magic was responsible for purifying the miasma throughout this area, after all.

But then...should I really be accepting this money? Considering the reason the miasma had appeared in the first place was likely my exile from the Grand Basilica.

Which means Lord Theodore’s injury was ultimately my fault. Or, um, Prince Alex and Mary’s fault. I groaned.

“So, you never told me, but...” Kira began in a somewhat high-pitched voice. “Why were you trying to make money?”

“Oh, right,” I said, bringing my hand to my chin with a serious expression. “I should probably cross the border soon...”

As I thought about this and that, Kira gave me a puzzled look. “Cross the border? Why?”

“My ex-fiancé told me to leave this country.”

“Huh? Why does your...ex-fiancé or whatever have the right to tell you that?”

Well, he is the crown prince...

Crown Prince Alex Snasile, first in line to the throne. I had no fond memories of him whatsoever, but regardless, since the royal heir had told me to leave the country, I figured I probably had to obey.

There might be people hunting me down too.

It had been eleven days since I’d left the basilica. If anyone found out I was still near the capital, I could be in danger. Also, Alex knew I had no money, so he could’ve at least provided fare for a ship! Then I could’ve left the country immediately. But he hadn’t...

Wait, maybe that was for the best.

After all, I might’ve stayed in the country indefinitely, fretting about whether Mary was fulfilling her duties correctly and worrying about the holy kingdom’s safety.

“Hey, Kira, if I were to leave the country, would you come with me?” I asked without thinking. Maybe I was anxious.

Kira opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it, closed it, then opened it again. “Yeah,” he said finally. “Your healing magic comes in handy.”

“Really? Oh, wow! I’m so happy!”

“You’re happy even though I just gave a selfish reason?”

“Yes! I’m so glad to know my magic is useful to you!”

When I hugged my knees and laughed cheerfully, Kira turned his face away. I could’ve sworn it was faintly red.

Now that I thought about it, mine was a very strange story. I’d walked around the capital looking for injured people and met this child on the side of the road. Kira’s beast-like eyes had captivated me, and I couldn’t just leave him wounded. I’d healed his injury, and that had been all. That is, until he’d suggested we should make money together. Now here we were, casually chatting on the floor of this luxurious guest house.

I had a lot of fun living with Kira at the inn too.

“But I think I’ll stay in this country a little longer,” I said.

“Yeah? Well, there are still plenty of cash cows around here, so I don’t mind.”

He didn’t need to say it like that!

My mood was ruined, but I was still truly glad that Kira was sticking with me.

***

Meanwhile, Mary, the supposed new saint, was doing...what, again? Let’s rewind a little.

The day after Evelyn’s exile from the Grand Basilica, Mary had been stamping her feet in front of the Safka family mansion.

“Ugh! This is unbelievable!” she’d whined.

The priests who’d brought her here by carriage had stared at her in open derision the entire way. Just thinking about it made her even angrier.

What’s their problem?! Why would they call me a sham?!

Mary had thought that after she successfully got Evelyn kicked out of the basilica, she’d be able to enjoy the luxuries of the royal palace every day beside her dreamy, handsome prince.

She’d been spending time with Alex like that for several years already, but the prince’s...retainers or whoever would always criticize the pair for it. They’d tell her nonsense such as “You should be ashamed to even show your face to your sister,” or “Your sister is a saint in more ways than one.”

So finally getting that thorn in her side exiled had been an enormous triumph. Mary had wanted to shout, Serves you right! For a while, she’d considered that it would’ve been better to have Evelyn kicked out during winter so that her clueless sister would freeze to death on the first night.

House Safka, Mary’s birth family, held the unique rank of pioutor, but compared to other nobles, they held little real power. They weren’t allowed to freely enter or exit the royal palace and Grand Basilica, and they didn’t own any fertile lands. That had been precisely why Mary had needed to become the saint before she could marry Alex.

Knowing this, Alex had agreed to Mary’s plan. He, too, wanted to be joined in matrimony to a lovely young maiden rather than that old hag.

That’s right. Everything was going according to plan, until...!

Today, as scheduled, Mary—after being announced as the new saint—had gone to some place inside the basilica called the saint’s chamber or something. Though she couldn’t fathom the logic behind it, apparently it was the saint’s duty to doze off while kneeling with her hands clasped together.

Easy peasy. Even a child could do that.

So Mary had knelt on the cold marble floor for about a minute.

“Your...prayer ritual or whatever is all done,” she’d said.

She’d made to return to Alex that very instant, but one of the priests had detained her.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious!” she’d replied. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I couldn’t sense any magic at all. Do it over, please.”

“Why? I don’t want to.”

“Didn’t you say you’d be the saint in place of Lady Evelyn?” the priest asked, looking exasperated.

Mary clicked her tongue and took the prayer posture once more. Then, after three minutes, she again declared, “I’m finished,” and the priest again shook his head. She tried and tried, but the results didn’t change.

This was obviously harassment! She’d tried to tell her beloved Alex about it, but then that had gone terribly too!

Even Alex told me to go home!

“Mary?!” came a voice from the entrance. “You’re here! Why?”

“Papa!” Mary exclaimed, throwing her arms around the man.

After embracing her for a while, he led her inside, saying, “Come, come. Into the house with you.”

“Listen, papa, I—”

“So, you’re home why?” he asked. “You’re the saint now. Saints live in the Grand Basilica. That is how it goes.”

Mary’s shoulders jerked involuntarily. “U-Umm, about that...”

She looked around, hoping for a way out, and saw her dressed-up mother on the second-floor landing.

“Mama!” she called out.

“My dear, dear Mary!” said her smiling mother, whose beauty was identical to Mary’s. “How did things go today? Oh, silly me, what a foolish question! You can heal hangnails, after all. What’s a bit of miasma compared to that?”

Mary was practically drenched in cold sweat at this point. If she told her parents the truth about today’s events... Well, her father would be manageable, probably, but hell had no fury like Mary’s mother—and she didn’t even need to be scorned for it to arise.

Okay, an excuse, an excuse...

“So, what happened was, before my sister left the temple, she lied to the priests and said I’m not talented enough to be the saint!” Mary said. “So my day was terribly difficult!”

“What?!” Mary’s mother shouted, drowning out her daughter’s much quieter voice.

But her father looked puzzled. “Ah, but, but, that’s odd. Odd indeed. Yesterday, you said everyone had been sent away before Evelyn was exiled, as I well and truly recall. So how could she have lied, hmm?”

Oh, crap!

Mary waved both hands as her lie came dangerously close to being exposed. “Sh-She’d been bad-mouthing me to the priests for a long time, I hear!”

“Oh, that spiteful thing!” Mary’s mother cried out. “A jealous witch is what she is. She should’ve been burned at the stake, not exiled!”

Mary breathed a sigh of relief. Her mother believed her!

“So, so, if the priests won’t recognize my talents,” Mary continued, “then I think I should get the people to recognize them!”

“Hmm?” her father hummed quizzically. “What might you possibly mean, Mary?”

“I’ll make them all see how amazing I am! Then they’ll realize that I, not Evelyn, am worthy of being the saint!”

The priests had been angry at her. Alex’s younger brothers had looked at her with scorn. Even Alex had barely met her gaze and just ordered her to go home! They would see. They would all see. If the royals and the priests wouldn’t recognize her excellence, she just had to create a situation that would force them to acknowledge her.

“So, I’m going to perform saintly prayers in front of the people!” she declared. It’ll be easy. Even that dunce Evelyn managed it for over twenty years!

Today, the priests had been mean to her, acting like she had no power at all. But that couldn’t be true! Mary could use healing magic, and girls born to House Safka were blessed with the necessary talents to be saints, so if she performed the prayer ritual, she should have no trouble at all dispelling miasma.

Mary’s father clapped his hands at the idea. “Oooh, oh, what a wonderful, marvelous, outstanding idea! Mary, leading the priests! A divine miracle, mm-hmm!”

When her father started saying they’d hold a commemorative parade, Mary panicked. “Th-The priests won’t help,” she stammered. “Evelyn forbade it!”

“Oh, what nonsense!” her father said, holding his head.

“We’ll have the servants act as priests,” her mother interjected.

“Huh?” Mary mumbled.

“It’ll be fine, dear. We’ll make them clothes that look like ceremonial robes and have them wear those. Nobody will know the difference.”

Mama is so amazing! Mary was completely taken with her mother’s brilliant idea. “Papa, hurry, tell the seamstress!”

“So I shall, so I shall,” her father replied.

Today’s events had been nothing but a brief nightmare. Her future self would be able to laugh it all off. She was certain of it.

Smiling, she thought from the bottom of her heart, I’m the real saint!

***

Ten days later, Mary was all dressed up—with the maids’ help—and had a full face of makeup. She laughed in front of the mirror, admiring her outfit. At her orders, the seamstress had modified the whitest, simplest dress from her collection.

The design was naturally different from the ceremonial robes Evelyn had worn. But, on a lovely model like Mary, the dress looked refined enough for a saint. Between that and the staff she held in one hand—one of her father’s, painted white—she looked perfectly saintly.

Ugh, the seamstress was so slow! This took forever!

But that had given Mary ample time to get good sleep and practice her performance as the saint.

The servants had also changed into their custom-made white outfits, wearing appropriate shawls draped over their shoulders and such.

“I’ll be going, then, papa, mama,” Mary said.

“Take care now, Mary,” her mother replied.

“I’m rooting for you big time. Big indeed,” her father added.

After the two saw her off, Mary triumphantly mounted the carriage. Upon reaching the center of the royal capital, she immediately proceeded to the city square with her four servants in tow.

Some people were casting curious glances her way, but that wasn’t enough attention. She looked around and spotted a raggedy minstrel playing something or another as he sat on the fountain’s edge, with a decent crowd gathered around him.

Perfect! Mary thought with a smile, but...then the minstrel’s song reached her ears.

“Saint Evelyn fair, our kingdom’s shield, your sacred prayers make darkness yield,” he sang. “Through shadow’s reign your light breaks free, and hope dawns bright for all to see...”

Really? A song about Evelyn, of all people? she grumbled internally. “Get rid of that pest!”

At Mary’s quiet command, the servants surrounded the minstrel. Mary took his spot and stood with her back to the fountain, looking over the square.

“Quiet! Quiet, I say!” she called out.

But the audience of the interrupted performance looked irritated. Mary clicked her tongue and struck the ground with her staff.

“Quiet!!!”

The loud clack certainly succeeded at attracting a good bit of attention. Even the various shops’ criers went silent. Satisfied, Mary cleared her throat.

“A pleasure to meet you all,” she said. “I am Mary. Mary Safka.”

She bowed. People stared blankly at her.

“This may be sudden and shocking, but I am pleased to announce I have been chosen as the new saint!” she declared. Hee hee! Look at them. They’re struck speechless.

No wonder. For the ignorant masses, this was completely out of the blue. Even the guards had stopped to watch the commotion.

Taking advantage of this, Mary continued, “So, I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to show you my saintly powers. This is an honor indeed, so go on! Bug your eyes out! Burn the memory of this day into your retinas! I shall begin the prayer ritual thingy and dispel miasma!”

After her declarations, she entrusted her staff to one of the servants disguised as a priest, then knelt on the stone pavement. She clasped her hands together and closed her eyes but could still feel everyone watching her.

Heh heh. This feels great. They must all be utterly smitten, she thought, hiding her smirk behind her joined hands.

Surely the sight of Mary praying earnestly to the Mother Goddess would have appeared divinely beautiful to this rabble.

After what she thought was several minutes, Mary stood up with theatrical elegance, and...was met with a restless atmosphere. The onlookers were whispering to one another and showed no respect whatsoever to the new saint.

Um, this doesn’t feel great, she thought. Still, she kept a cheerful smile plastered onto her face. “So, everyone? How was it?”

“Hey,” came the voice of a man in the back of the crowd who had been listening to the minstrel earlier. “Doesn’t she look like the statue of Evelyn at House Safka?”

Mary felt a slight panic rising in her chest but then realized there was no need to worry and nodded magnanimously. “Y-Yes, of course. I am the sister of Evelyn, the previous saint.”

“Right, yeah,” said a woman. “St. Evelyn has a half sister.”

“Born to the pioutor’s second wife,” someone else added. “Whom, as I recall, he married before the mourning period for St. Evelyn’s mother was even over.”

“Word has it she’d been his mistress before his wife’s death,” a man said.

“The daughter of those money-grubbers is the new saint?”

Murmurs spread like wildfire, and everyone looked at Mary not with respect but with strong suspicion. No matter how many times she shouted or struck the ground with her staff, no one stopped talking.

“Look at her stick!” a child shouted. “There’s paint peeling off the tip!”

Great. Now even the kids were bad-mouthing her. Mary turned red with anger.

“What’s you guys’ problem?!” she demanded.

People just watched her as if she were an exceptionally peculiar animal.

“I said, I’m the new saint! Yet all you do is find fault!!!”

The servants realized the precarious situation and tried to stop her, but Mary brushed their hands away.

“Fine! I’ll have you know Evelyn is gone, all right?! Prince Alex got tired of her, and she was growing weak anyway, so she got kicked out of the Grand Basilica!”

There was a moment of stunned silence before the people erupted into a commotion. What an unexpectedly excellent reaction!

Mary smiled. There! Now everyone knows that Evelyn is an awful sain—

But her interpretation was way off the mark. People had stopped chattering about Evelyn and were now glaring sharply at her, as though she were their families’ mortal enemy of many generations.

Overwhelmed by the crowd’s intensity, Mary faltered. “Wh-What? Why are you glaring at me?”

She stepped back. Her foot caught on the fountain’s edge. She felt herself floating in midair. By the time she realized what was happening, it was too late—Mary fell headfirst into the fountain.

“Gah!” she yelped as she hit the water with a loud splash. “Ugh! Ack!”

The fountain wasn’t very deep, but Mary had sucked in water through her nose, and thus she broke into a violent coughing fit. Her neat coiffure had been reduced to a tangled mess and her makeup was melting off.

“That’s her, officer! That’s the vile criminal impersonating the saint!”

And to make matters worse, people were now shouting such things.

Startled, Mary insisted in a panic, “No! I-I’m the real saint!”

She tried to flee from the fountain, screaming, but the water weighed down her dress and made it difficult to move. Knights grabbed her arms and twisted them behind her back.

“Listen to meee!” she kept shouting. “I’m the real saaaint!”

Unaware that Alex was watching from afar with bulging eyes, Mary was arrested by the knights under the command of Prince Igna.

***

“Good morning, Lord Theodore,” I said with a respectful nod.

“Good morning to you as well, Lady Evelyn,” he replied with an equally respectful nod.

Three days had passed since my arrival at the Manilas estate. Today, Lord Theodore—now fully recovered—was going to give me a tour of his family’s lands. The town of Semme, located right next to the royal capital, was part of House Manilas’s domain. The family owning such extensive lands so close to the capital was a sign that His Majesty placed great trust in them.

“You’re breathtaking today as always, my lady,” Lord Theodore said. “I could gaze at you forever.”

“Y-You’re quite handsome yourself, my lord,” I stammered awkwardly.

Since I only had one outfit of my own, the maids had once again offered me something to wear. My long hair was tied in a braid, and the sky-blue dress they’d picked was easier to move in than the one from yesterday. I was glad there wasn’t lace all over—I’d definitely trip otherwise.

You know what else was making me stumble over myself? Lord Theodore, standing there, looking utterly dashing. Until yesterday, I’d really only seen him prone in bed, but now, dressed to the nines, he was stunning. His already overly perfect features were even more attractive under the sunlight, and I had to force myself not to stare or my eyes might have burst.

“Well then, shall we?” he said.

Since Semme was quite a ways away, Lord Theodore had brought along his beloved white horse. I had no experience with horseback riding, so I was a little lost. How was I supposed to find purchase to mount? Where was I supposed to put my feet?

I tried to study how Lord Theodore mounted, but his movements were so graceful I forgot to pay attention...

It was then that Lord Theodore took my hand in his and easily lifted me up. Oh, his arm strength was truly something...

“Th-Thank you,” I said.

“It’s no trouble at all. But it does make me think you are, indeed, an angel.”

“What?”

“You’re light as a feather,” he whispered.

That’s flattery. That’s definitely flattery!

My heart, nevertheless, did a little flip at the sweet echo of his voice in my ear.

“We’ll keep a slow pace,” he said.

“I-I see.”

Lord Theodore lightly nudged the horse’s belly with his feet, and the dignified mount began to clip-clop down the well-maintained dirt road. The scenery around us was verdant and peaceful—unlike my heart, which was hammering noisily in my chest. After all, my back was pressed tightly against Lord Theodore’s chest, and his strong hands were supporting my waist.

How am I supposed to stay calm?!

Incidentally, it was truly just the two of us today. Lord Jackson had, it appeared, taken quite a liking to young Kira and his wit and candor. They were going to play chess today. It was some type of board game, from my understanding. Kira had seemed unusually excited about it. I’d wanted him to hang out with Cain, who was close to him in age, but Cain had gone to school in the royal capital for the day.

“The breeze feels nice,” I murmured.

“It certainly does,” Lord Theodore agreed. “The sunlight is so pleasant I might doze off.”

“Oh! Truly?”

So he had a bit of a boyish side. How endearing.

“Truly,” he confirmed with a nod. “I was so excited for my date with you, Lady Evelyn, that I had trouble falling asleep last ni—”

Halfway through his sentence, Lord Theodore caught his slip of the tongue and brought a hand to his mouth.

“Did you hear that just now?” he asked hesitantly.

“That you were so excited for your date with me that you had trouble falling asleep last night? Yes, I did.”

“Right. Of course you’d hear it at this distance...”

Should I have pretended not to hear?

He sounded so dejected that I felt a little bad for him.

There was something nagging at me, though.

“Say, Lord Theodore, what is a ‘date’?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“I’ve never heard the term before, so I don’t know what it means,” I explained. “I’m just a tiny bit sheltered, you see.” I wondered, Is a date, like, showing someone around your territory?

Lord Theodore cleared his throat. “A date refers to... Well, it is an outing between a man and a woman who are growing close.”

“An outing between a man and a woman who are growing close?!” I echoed in complete shock. “But we’ve only known each other for three days!”

“You...are correct,” he mumbled.

“And yesterday we spoke for a half hour at most!”

“Ah, yes... It is as you say, Lady Evelyn...”

Huh? Why is he biting his lip? He looks so miserable... “I’m sorry for my reaction, Lord Theodore. My emotions got the better of me...”

“They did?”

“Yes. You’re my second-ever friend.”

I wasn’t proud of it, but I’d had no friends at all until very recently. The priests at the basilica had all been kind to me, but...of course they had. I’d been the saint, after all.

“You truly are kind,” I continued, my expression brightening. “I’m so happy you feel we’re growing close!”

“Incidentally,” he said, something strangely sharp in his voice, “does that first friend happen to be...male?”

I turned my head around, surprised by his tone, and found myself inches from his handsome face. Surprised by the nearness, I hurriedly turned my head forward again.

O-Oh, my heart.

His gaze was so serious! It had startled me. But...I couldn’t stay silent. That would be ignoring him. I brought a hand to my fluttering heart and nodded.

“Yes, he is,” I said.

“I...see...”

“Kira is my very first friend.”

“Ah, of course! That boy!” he exclaimed, suddenly cheerful again for some reason. I had no idea why, but...good?

“Oh, but...that would make this my tenth date or so!”

Lord Theodore swayed, and I frantically moved to keep him steady.

“P-Please be careful, my lord! You’ll slip from the horse!”

“I’m sorry, please, just...let me fall...”

“What are you saying?!”

I managed to pull him back up. His face was completely pale. Was he feeling unwell?

“Forgive my constant prying,” he said in a small voice as I fussed. “But I must ask... Those dates, with whom...?”

“Kira and I had daily outings in the royal capital,” I explained.

“Ah, of course! With that boy! Thank goodness!”

His mood sure swings wildly, I thought. But watching him rapidly cycle through expressions was very entertaining.

As we left the Manilas estate behind, the scenery around us gradually shifted to a series of rolling fields.

“Wow,” I murmured in amazement. That’s cabbage, and spinach, and...strawberries over there? Oh! Those people are harvesting onions!

Upon noticing the sparkles in my eyes, Lord Theodore explained with a hint of pride, “About forty percent of all produce in the royal capital is grown here in Semme. Sometimes, when I attend parties in the capital, I overhear other nobles mocking Semme, calling it rural and unrefined, saying there’s nothing here but vegetables, but...”

“That’s practically heresy,” I said indignantly.

Lord Theodore’s eyes widened.

“How can they not understand how wonderful this place is?” Because, I mean, sure, I was the saint and I have powers, but...

Even saints would starve to death within days without food. Meat, fish, and vegetables kept people alive. Miasma made people sick, but so did starvation. It was only because of people like these, lovingly growing produce, that everyone stayed healthy and full of energy.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“Huh?”

“It pleases me beyond measure to hear you praise this town so effusively.”

I started to turn around, then stopped. His smile could’ve probably melted steel right about now, I was sure of it.

If I see him up close, I’ll turn bright red again!

“Come to think of it, didn’t Cain say you live in an alley in the capital?” he asked.

“I wasn’t living in an alley,” I said in a rush. I couldn’t let this misunderstanding keep spreading! “I was staying at an inn.”

Lord Theodore let out a relieved breath. “That’s good to know. Security is excellent in the royal capital, but a young woman of your sublime beauty sleeping out in the open would be in grave danger.”

“I’m not young,” I muttered quietly. Lowering my voice to an inaudible whisper, I added, “I missed my chance at marriage...”

He was just being considerate. I couldn’t bear to subject him to my pity party.

We continued in silence for a while, with only the clip-clopping of the horse filling the air. The hardworking farmers lifted their heads upon hearing the sounds of approaching hooves.

“It’s little Theo!” they shouted.

All of them dropped their farming implements and came running toward us. They seemed intense, but their expressions were filled with nothing but concern for the son of their longtime lord.

“You really are fully healed!” one said.

“Oh, thank goodness! What a relief!” another exclaimed.

“My apologies for worrying you all,” Lord Theodore said with a smile as he brought the horse to a halt. “As you can see, I’m all better now.”

They all smiled up at him—and then noticed me.

“Little Theo, who is this beautiful young lady?!” one asked.

“She must be very special to you!” another said.

“A lover at last! Lord Jackson must be relieved!”

“The Manilas line lives on!”

“Wait, wait, you’ve got it all wrong!” Lord Theodore said, his cheeks reddening slightly. “And please, don’t call me ‘little’ in front of her!”

He cleared his throat.

“It was thanks to Lady Evelyn’s healing magic that I got better. I owe her my life, so please, be courteous with her.”

Lord Theodore was speaking more casually with them than he did with me. Both he and his father seemed to be sincerely beloved by their subjects. The farmers’ expressions and voices radiated warmth for the count’s family.

That familiarity made me a little envious, actually.

I shifted on the horse to turn around and gently tugged on Lord Theodore’s sleeve as he continued his frantic explanations. “Lord Theodore?”

“Oh! My apologies, Lady Evelyn, for the sudden introduction!” he said.

“Ah, don’t worry about that. I just have one request.”

“A request, my lady?”

I looked up at him, tilted my head slightly, and smiled. “I’d like you to speak to me casually too. Please use that same friendly tone you use with them.”

That’d make us look more like friends!

But Lord Theodore froze and stared at me in a daze. Puzzled, I looked at the people around us, and the men were blushing for some reason.

“Lord Theodore?” I called out.

Immediately, his cheeks flushed a bright shade of red. He grabbed me by the shoulders and exclaimed, “Lady Evelyn!”

“Y-Yes?!” I yelped, my voice cracking.

Lord Theodore opened and closed his mouth several times, then finally hung his head in defeat. “I’m afraid you’re far too dense, my lady.”

Dense? Why am I dense? Oh. Oh! My face stiffened and I gasped. “You’re right! You’re absolutely correct!”

“Oh, you understand? I’m glad, then. I would be hono—”

“It was improper of me to assume that level of familiarity would be acceptable!”

“What?!”

“You and I are friends, but our relationship is still new, since we’ve only just met! I can’t believe I made such an outrageous request. Please, disregard it.”

“Oh, um, no, I think you’re misunderstanding my...”

Lord Theodore mumbled and trailed off, but I knew what he was trying to say! I nodded firmly at him.

One of the men who had been watching this unfold swallowed. “Looks like this catch is a bit too slippery for little Theo...”

Catch? What catch? Wait... Is this about fishing again?!

As I grew excited at the thought, I noticed Lord Theodore in the corner of my vision, covering his face and groaning softly.

***

After a thorough tour of the town, Lord Theodore and I decided to take a lunch break. He tied his horse to a nearby tree, neatly spread out a cloth in the shade, and took my hand to guide me to sit.

My heart skipped a beat as he settled beside me.

Wh-Why am I so flustered? We were sitting much closer together during the horse ride!

Maybe I had arrhythmia? Perhaps I’d need to use healing magic on myself upon our return to the estate.

“Are you cold, my lady?” Lord Theodore asked.

“I-I’m fine,” I stammered. “The weather is warm and pleasant.”

“I see.” He smiled gently, which only made me more restless.

Ugh! Okay, food. Think about the food!

I pulled myself together and began to take out the contents of the basket I’d been carrying. House Manilas had a private chef—whose meals Kira and I had been thoroughly enjoying—and today, he’d even provided me with a basket to go, the food within carefully wrapped in cloth.

Soon, spread out before us was a delicious assortment of ham-packed sandwiches with cheese, lettuce, and tomatoes, as well as a thermal container filled with onion soup.

I took a bite of my sandwich and murmured blissfully, “Mr. Ruto’s food is so good...”

Lord Theodore’s eyes widened. “You know the names of our staff, Lady Evelyn?”

“Yes. Everyone’s been so friendly to me.”

Mr. Ruto was the chef—a distinguished gentleman with a fine beard who’d been serving House Manilas since before Lord Theodore’s birth.

“They all told me stories about your and Cain’s childhoods,” I said.

An olive tumbled out from between the layers of dry-cured ham in Lord Theodore’s sandwich.

“Th-They told you stories about me?!”

“Yes! Um...should they not have?” I asked, concerned.

Lord Theodore looked flustered. “Oh, I mean, that’s fine, just... What kind of stories did they tell?”

“Umm, about Lord Jackson being so desperate to find you when you ran away from home as a little boy that he even forgot to put on shoes before rushing out the door. And about Lord Jackson getting electrocuted when he ran around in a storm brandishing a real sword and yelling, ‘I shall defeat the lightning!’ because Cain was afraid of thunder...” Wait. Those are stories about Lord Jackson.

Lord Theodore exhaled in apparent relief. “Oh, good. They’re mainly about father.”

“They are. I’d like to hear more stories about you, though.”

He stared blankly at me. “You...would?”

“Yes! But...more than that, I feel like you have questions for me as well, Lord Theodore.”

He frowned, and I braced myself.

Lord Theodore and Lord Jackson have probably figured out my identity already...

They’d likely refrained from saying anything about it out of consideration for me.

Back at the capital, I hadn’t heard any rumors about my exile or Mary’s appointment as the new saint. Perhaps a public announcement had been deliberately delayed? Still, Lord Theodore and his family were nobles. Harboring an exile, even unwittingly, could result in punishment.

I can’t keep imposing on their kindness like this.

Lord Theodore finished the rest of his sandwich in silence, then pushed himself to his feet.

“I do have one question, then,” he said, turning to look down at me with a serious expression. “Are you St. Evelyn’s successor?”

I was about to nod, but... Wait. I am very much not!

He had it completely backward. But because I didn’t respond, he nodded repeatedly as though he’d figured it out. “At first, I wondered if you might be the current saint,” he explained. “But she is twenty-eight, whereas you, if I may say so, look twenty at most. And that would be a generous estimate.”

Generous in the entirely wrong direction! His deduction had more holes than a termite-ridden drawer. Astonishing. I was speechless.

He continued with unearned confidence, “The current saint is very popular, so the name Evelyn is common. Here in Semme alone, we have fifty-six Evelyns.”

That’s too many!

“We passed seven Evelyns earlier. And we have three Evelyns in our employ at the estate.”

The Evelyns are taking over!

Kira had told me before about it being a trend to name children after me, but I hadn’t known it was so bad that one couldn’t walk six paces without running into an Evelyn.

“And you were hiding in the back alleys of the royal capital with that boy, Kira. Come to think of it, perhaps you were elopi—” He paused. “No, surely you two are siblings. Yes, that must be it! You...look nothing alike, but surely that is true. Yes. Absolutely.”

Why does he sound like he’s trying to convince himself? My confusion only grew.

“In other words, Lady Evelyn, you fled the Grand Basilica because you didn’t want to be the next saint!” Lord Theodore declared confidently. “Correct?!”

Not a single thing about that is correct!!!

After his incredible display of investigative genius—or “genius,” as it were—Lord Theodore dropped to one knee.

“In which case... Please, allow me to offer you protection, Lady Evelyn.”

What?!

“Permit me to be your sword and shield. I shall fear no foe, even if the entirety of the Grand Basilica—nay, the kingdom—turns against us,” he declared with such a beautiful, dignified expression that I was completely mesmerized.

Seeing this, I made a decision. I need to tell everyone the truth.

We barely knew each other, yet he already cared for me so deeply. Continuing to hide my circumstances would be inappropriate. I had to tell Kira, Lord Theodore, Lord Jackson, and Cain who I really was.

I wasn’t sure how they’d react, but it was something I simply had to do.

But first, he needs to know this, I thought. “Lord Theodore?”

“Yes, Lady Evelyn?!”

“This is difficult for me to say, but...your reasoning was wrong from start to finish,” I asserted clearly.

Lord Theodore looked so dismayed he seemed about ready to collapse on the spot.

Chapter Four: I Am Saint Evelyn

Dinner that evening was lively as usual.

Noble dinners had a reputation for being stuffy, but the Manilas family was nothing like that. The seats were placed far apart, but everyone ate and chatted to their hearts’ content. I conversed casually with Kira and Cain, who sat on either side of me, and Lord Theodore across the table from me.

When servants brought us coffee after the meal, I decided it was time to come clean.

“I have something important to tell you all today,” I said, my voice noticeably stiff with nervousness.

Lord Theodore rose from his seat, and I looked up at him. He seemed deeply moved and stared at me intently. “Lady Evelyn!” he exclaimed. “You’re going to answer my proposal right here, right now...!”

“No,” I replied.

He silently sat back down. The rest of his family must’ve known he’d proposed, because Lord Jackson’s, Lady Manilas’s, and even Cain’s eyes began to water.

I frantically waved my hands. “I-I didn’t mean it like that! I just meant I won’t answer right now! I will give a proper answer eventually, of course!”

“Truly?!”

Lord Theodore’s ability to recover quickly was certainly one of his strong suits.

Wait, so, when he proposed...he meant it?

But he was so young! And handsome. And promising. He was probably just blinded by gratitude, thinking of me as an angel.

He’ll come to his senses eventually and regret it, I’m sure. The thought sent a sharp pain through my heart.

“So? What were you going to say?” Kira asked before I could consider what the pain meant.

I nodded and stood up. Now wasn’t the time to think about such things. Everyone’s attention turned to me, and I took a deep breath, looking from one to another.

“I’m...Evelyn!” I declared, my voice echoing in the spacious dining room.

Lord Theodore, gazing upon me with a gentle smile, nodded. “Yes. I know that, Lady Evelyn.”

Oh no. I messed up the delivery.

As I tried to think of how to rephrase it, Lord Theodore abruptly stood up again. “Oh, right!” he said to the servants standing by the wall. “This would be a great opportunity for you all to introduce yourselves to Lady Evelyn! One at a time, please.”

The three servants, standing parallel to each other, all bowed in unison.

“I’m Evelyn.”

“I’m Evelyn.”

“I’m Evelyn.”

Lord Jackson gave a firm nod and clapped with satisfaction. Perhaps influenced by this, his wife and Cain beamed and clapped as well. The other servants all joyfully looked on, and for a while, a peaceful atmosphere fell upon the dining room.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant!” I exclaimed. “I’m an Evelyn too, yes, but I meant I’m the Evelyn!”

Actually, now that I thought about it, something seemed strange. The first two appear to be minors, but the last Evelyn looks older than me...

The last of the three Evelyns was elderly and was a little hunched over. Granted, the name wasn’t that unusual to begin with, so she probably just coincidentally had the same name as me.

Perhaps noticing my thoughtful look, Kira said, “So many people everywhere wanted to take the name Evelyn that the citizens got together and signed a petition. Now anyone can change their name to Evelyn. All it takes is sending in some paperwork. Not even age and gender matter.”

The elderly woman blushed and said, “That’s right, dearie.”

What the heck is wrong with this country?!

As I collapsed onto the table, holding my head, Cain—who had been silent until then—timidly called out, “Um, Ms. Angel? Actually, everyone at the capital is talking about this fake saint who appeared out of nowhere...”

“A fake saint?” I echoed.

“She was running around the fountain, yelling, ‘I’m the saaaint!’ and stuff like that. And then, when the knights captured her, she went berserk, like a she-bear in heat.”

That’s Mary!

It could be no one else. We might’ve been at each other’s throats constantly, but we were still sisters. Mary was the only she-bear I knew who would ever pull such a stupid stunt.

“All the kids in my class are saying the knights are looking for the real saint,” Cain said.

I nodded repeatedly. Surely he would believe me now. “That’s right, Cain! And I’m the real saint they’re looking for!”

“Huh? But you’re an angel, Ms. Angel.”

“What?”

“Are you...not?”

A waterfall of cold sweat poured down my face. I...couldn’t deny it. Not when he was looking at me with such pure eyes.

“You’re right,” I said. “I’m Ms. Angel, the angel.”

“Oh, I thought so!” Cain exclaimed, relieved.

Lord Theodore, who had been watching the exchange, wore a thoughtful expression. “While I’m curious about this fake... I wonder what happened to the real saint. If Cain is right, she must’ve disappeared from the Grand Basilica.”

Lord Jackson tilted his head. “I cannot imagine such a responsible woman abandoning her duties and fleeing into the night.”

“I’ll go ask the townspeople tomorrow. Maybe the saint ended up in Semme by some chance?”

Lord Jackson laughed. “That would be absurd. We’d undoubtedly notice it if the saint were right under our noses!”

“You’re right. I’m sure her aura is unmistakable!”

“I’d love to meet her at least once, though...”

The handsome father and son duo laughed heartily. Meanwhile I, and my nonexistent aura, shrieked internally. I couldn’t say anything in front of Cain, after all.

I’m telling you guys! I’m the saint! I’m right here!

Next to me, Kira gave an exasperated shrug.

***

A while back, at the Grand Basilica, the search for Evelyn had been proving more difficult than anticipated.

Before Igna and Oz could even say a word, the priests had volunteered to devote themselves fully to the search. Since they couldn’t let the people of the capital realize the priests were searching for someone, everyone had disguised themselves as ordinary citizens and worked tirelessly from dawn to dusk, but their efforts had been in vain.

The complete lack of useful information about Evelyn’s whereabouts puzzled Prince Oz. It had been five days since Evelyn’s departure from the basilica, and he had just received a report on the progress of the search efforts.

“All right!” said the high priest. “Off we go again today!”

“Yeah!”

Oz asked the enthusiastic priests, “How exactly are you conducting your inquiries?”

“I ask people, ‘Have you seen a maiden as lovely and beautiful as an angel?’”

“I ask, ‘Have you come upon a girl so beautiful that you wanted to protect her at all costs?’”

“I tell them, ‘We’re looking for our child. She’s adorable and looks so precious when she cries and smiles that you can’t look away.’”

“And so on,” they all said, bashfully rubbing their noses.

The high priest gave a satisfied nod. “Indeed, indeed.”

This is hopeless, Oz thought.

He looked up to the heavens. The priests’ inquiries were shockingly lacking in specifics. At this rate, Evelyn would never be found.

Oz had consulted with his brother Igna, and the pair had decided to deploy their personal royal guard units to join the search. Since word of Evelyn’s disappearance could not be allowed to spread, only a trusted few had been told the specifics.

But they’d run into another problem: Not a single knight knew what Evelyn actually looked like.

“So,” Oz said as he held out a sheet of paper and a pen, “it would be immensely helpful if you could draw a portrait of St. Evelyn...”

The priests shook their heads and gestured widely.

“We cannot do such a thing!”

“We cannot possibly seek comfort from St. Evelyn’s likeness!”

“Idolatry is forbidden!!!”

“No, that’s not what it’s for,” the prince argued. “It’s just...we don’t actually know what she looks like all that well.”

Only the priests were allowed free entry to the Grand Basilica. Alex had barged right in because he’d been the saint’s fiancé, and Mary had been allowed inside as her relative. But besides that, the basilica was a sacred place—not even the king could enter without permission.

Oz didn’t know Evelyn’s hair or eye color, and neither did Igna.

“Um, hello? I know what Evelyn looks like.”

“Ah, the crown prick,” the tired Oz said with an involuntary smile. He wanted to ask what was with the smug “I know” comment, but it occurred to him that perhaps this good-for-nothing could finally be of some help.

That smile, the first Oz had offered Alex in a long while, must’ve gotten to the crown prince’s head, because he blurted out, “She may be a twenty-eight-year-old spinster, but she looks pretty young! Really, she’s less a woman and more a cryptid—”

“I’ll kill you!!!”

Alex barely managed to dodge out of the way of the staff the high priest had thrown at him, but ended up falling pathetically on his bum.

Rubbing his aching bottom, Alex tearfully protested, “Come on, you geezer! I’m just stating the facts!”

“Shut up, Crown Prick! No, actually, forget that—shut up, Clown Prick! I’ll bash your face in!”

“Hey! Don’t just change out every word in my title! That’s not funny!”

“Be grateful I nicknamed you at all!” the high priest bellowed, pointing his staff at Alex.

Terrified, Alex ran around in circles in an attempt to escape the shrieking old man’s fury.

“Clown Prick,” Igna echoed. “The high priest might be a genius.”

“Now’s not the time to get excited about clown pricks,” Oz muttered with a sigh.

“I told Evelyn to leave the country!” Alex pointed out, still running. “She’s probably in another country by now!”

Oz crossed his arms. “I doubt that. Saint Evelyn should have no coin. Without ship fare, she couldn’t reasonably have left the country.”

The saint had stayed largely within the Grand Basilica since age five. It was unlikely she’d even left the royal capital. Another possibility was that she’d fallen victim to an accident or crime. The thought made Oz shake his head.

I hope she’s at least safe...

***

Several days later, a shocking report arrived from a knight patrolling the capital: A woman claiming to be the saint was making a scene in the central square.

That day, hell itself descended upon the Grand Basilica. The high priest’s eyes had gone dark and dull, and a large number of priests surrounded him, muttering nonstop. Before them was Mary, tied to a pillar with rope. Between her and the priests stood Alex, protecting her.

Igna and Oz could only watch as the two sides glowered at each other.

The first to break the heavy tension was the high priest. “We shall execute Mary Safka.”

In an instant, Mary’s vocal cords went from vibrating with angry shrieks to complete silence. Alex was frantic as he tried to shield her from the high priest’s wrath, but his legs were quivering with fear.

“W-Wait! Don’t...!” he pleaded.

“Beg as you will, Clown Prick. This is a done deed. That woman falsely claimed to be the saint and must pay for her sins.”

The head priest was right. Impersonating the saint was a severe offense. Moreover, Mary had deliberately dressed up her family’s servants as priests and taken them along for a sham performance in the square. Such criminal behavior was unforgivable.

Igna and Alex, who had been searching for Evelyn at the time, had witnessed the scene. Alex had been so shocked he’d lost his ability to speak for a time. Now, Mary was shamelessly wailing and clinging to the frozen prince.

“Waaah! Aleeex!”

“Do not ‘waaah,’ girl. You’re eighteen years old. Act like it,” the high priest spat out curtly.

Mary’s body trembled. “Boo-hoo-hoo...”

“Do not ‘boo-hoo-hoo’ either. Die now, girl. You may cry and beg for St. Evelyn’s forgiveness in hell!”

The high priest’s cruel, merciless words had Mary shaking like a leaf. Unable to watch any longer, Oz stepped between Mary and the high priest.

“This is not the time for this!” he snapped.

Mary went from desperate to delighted. “You’re protecting me from that deranged old man! I see! You’re taken with me, aren’t you?!”

Ugh! Oz thought. He wanted to protest against the humiliation but managed to bite his lip and hold his tongue.

“Is that true, Oz?!” Alex demanded. “You never told me anything about this!”

“Oh, my prince, are you jealous? Ah, what a beguiling woman I am, quarreled over by two princes!”

Snapping sounds that human lips should not have been capable of making echoed repeatedly through the hall. With each snap, blood oozed from Oz’s lips. The murder in his eyes was such that even the head priest recoiled.

“This woman can be executed anytime!” he declared. “But who knows what terrors St. Evelyn might be facing right now! She could be alone, cold, in tears, with no roof over her head!”

The high priest’s eyes widened.

“Our adorable saint, so small, so innocent, so graceful, so lovable, might be wiping at her eyes while murmuring, ‘Oh, grandpa, won’t you please come find me?’!”

“N-Ngaaaaaaah!”

Perhaps having imagined the scene, the high priest grew tearful. The surrounding priests, too, shed manly tears while roaring in agony.

Eventually, the crying quieted down. Having regained some of his composure, a more levelheaded high priest turned to Oz.

“So, once St. Evelyn is found safe and sound, may we sacrifice this woman and her idiot parents?”

“Of course,” Oz replied. “In fact, that would be ideal.”

“’Kay!” the high priest chirped.

“Wait, wait, wait! What?!” Mary blurted out, finally realizing what Oz was trying to do.

Oz ignored her and offered Alex a smile. “You know, Clown Prick, you’re really something. I can hardly believe you’ve put up with this woman all these years. You might just be the most patient man alive.”

“Aw, shucks, really? All this praise is gonna make me blush,” Alex said.

“That was not praise. Goodbye, now.”

Oz turned his back on Alex. If he continued conversing with these people a moment longer, his gentle demeanor might fail him.

“Prince Oz!” one of his royal guards shouted, hurrying down the corridor. “I have a report, Your Highness!”

Normally, knights were not permitted in the Grand Basilica, but a special exception had been granted due to the current emergency.

“An envoy from Khattar has arrived at the royal palace and is requesting an audience with St. Evelyn!”

“What...?”

Before Oz could process those words, the knight continued, “And not just Khattar! Other countries too! Dominim, Rinma, Auracuna, and even as far as Tarinyan!”

“You can’t be serious,” Oz groaned. He clicked his tongue. “Now, of all times?!”

The search for Evelyn was urgent enough—now this? When it rained, it poured.

And to top it off, Igna, after receiving a hushed report from one of his own guards, approached Oz with an apologetic expression. “My apologies, Oz. I’ll be away from the capital for a spell. I will have to leave the foreign envoys to you.”

“What? So suddenly? Why?” Oz asked.

“Europa is coming here,” Igna replied.

“Lady Europa...?”

“She is scheduled to pass through Semme with her entourage as per usual, so I’d like to go meet up with her.”

Europa, the daughter of a duke, was Igna’s fiancée. House Manilas, which ruled over the town of Semme, had long-standing ties with House Caté—Europa’s family. Oz had heard from Igna previously that Europa sojourned in Semme whenever she visited the capital. But Semme was only an hour away from the capital by carriage and had good security in place. It wasn’t particularly necessary for a prince to personally go meet with her, but...Oz had enough tact to not interfere.

My brother is an obstinate blockhead, and Lady Europa is just about the only person he actually shows proper interest in...

That being said...

I might die from stress soon...

Oz felt as though a crater were about to open up in his stomach.

Chapter Five: Like a Storm

I was playing board games with Kira, Lord Theodore, and Cain in the mansion’s living room when Mr. Sebastian, the family butler, arrived with a report.

“Young Master, Lady Europa is here.”

“Is she, now?”

Mr. Sebastian and many of the other staff members called Lord Theodore either “Young Master” or, like the farmers, “little Theo.” Though Lord Theodore was officially the new count, they probably still saw him as a child.

“I see. Excuse me—I must step away from the game for a moment,” he said.

“Ah, fleeing before you lose, I see,” I teased.

“Regrettably,” he said sheepishly, scratching his cheek.

After he left the room, Kira, who was rolling dice around in one of his palms, brought his free hand to his mouth to stifle a big yawn, then said, “You’re curious. Just go see what it’s about.”

I looked over at him. “I am not curious.”

“You have ‘curious’ written all over your face.”

“Really?!”

Frantically, I brought my hands to my cheeks. Was it that obvious?!

I mean, he said “Lady” Europa...

Not that I had any right to be concerned about another woman, but still...

Nevertheless, any attempt I made to deny it would have been embarrassingly obvious, so I stood up nonchalantly and asked, “Do you two want to come along?”

“No thanks,” Kira replied.

“I-I’ll stay here,” Cain stammered. “Lady Europa is a little scary...”

Huh. What did he mean by scary?

“You be careful, Ms. Angel,” Cain said.

I left the room and went outside the mansion, where I immediately came across Lord Theodore. Standing before him was a young lady who turned my way when she noticed me.

Wh-What a beauty...!

The moment our eyes met, I staggered from the shock. She had to be about sixteen years old, with a dainty frame and ethereal purple hair and eyes. The girl smiled softly at me and took off her hat courteously, her unbound hair smoothly caressing her slender shoulders.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance,” she said. “I am Europa Caté.”

“I-It’s a pleasure, Lady Europa. I’m Evelyn.”

We exchanged curtsies, but Europa’s greeting was orders of magnitude more graceful and dignified than mine. Seeing her side by side with Lord Theodore made me realize what a perfect match the two were. Were they...lovers?

Oh, what am I doing? I’m clearly a third wheel right now.

Just as I was beginning to regret coming here, Lady Europa stared at me intently, her expression somewhat absent. It was then that I noticed the strong magical signature emanating from her—she seemed to have noticed my own as well.

“Um, Lady Evelyn, why are you at the Manilas estate?” she asked.

“Lady Evelyn healed my injury and saved my life,” Lord Theodore said.

Lady Europa’s eyes widened beneath her long lashes. “An injury! Were you afflicted by miasma? I was worried about you, you know.”

“I was indeed. It all but consumed my arm. I’d hoped perhaps you could help, Europa, but Lady Evelyn’s already healed it completely,” he explained, his expression brightening.

But his words were like a mallet to my heart. Even if I hadn’t been here, Europa could’ve helped him...

Well, there went any desire I had to be here. I smiled weakly and bowed.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll give you two some privacy...”

A hand clasped around mine as I began to walk away—a very familiar sensation, actually. When I turned around, Lord Theodore was staring at me with desperation in his gaze. My heart skipped a beat.

I grew a bit tense. Lord Theodore had inhuman grip strength, and if I got stuck again, I’d have to ask the entire staff to help reenact the tale of the Great Big Fish once more!

“Please let go of my hand, Lord Theodore,” I said.

“No. Lady Evelyn, I feel like you may have gotten the wrong impression.”

“Have I?”

He nodded. “You think Europa and I are lovers, don’t you?”

I could hardly believe my ears. The bumbling detective got it right!

Lord Theodore was abnormally sharp today. This was far beyond his usual powers of deduction! Who was this man, and what had he done to Lord Theodore?

My expression must’ve given away my confusion, because he said very firmly, “Europa is my cousin. I swear upon the Mother Goddess, there is only one woman I care about, and it’s—”

Before he could finish whatever he was planning to say, Lord Theodore got shoved aside.

“Augh!”

Completely ignoring the fact that Lord Theodore had just tumbled into the stream that ran beside the mansion, Lady Europa stepped closer to me as I stood there, dumbfounded.

“P-Pardon me if I am mistaken,” she began, sounding strangely tense. “Um, um, um, are you... Are you, by any chance, Saint Evelyn?!”

“Huh?!”

“I knew it! Your magical power is incredible!” she exclaimed. She leaned closer, peering into my face with stars in her eyes, and thrust out her palm with tremendous force. “May I shake your hand?!”

I reflexively clasped her outstretched hand, and she shuddered, then fell perfectly still. I timidly looked up at her—her cheeks were now a deep shade of crimson and her breathing was oddly ragged.

“Haah... Haah, haah... Ha ha... Your hand is so tiny... So smooth... And it smells great,” she jabbered, sniffing at our joined hands.

“L-Lady Europa?” I mumbled.

“Ack! M-My apologies! How could I be so careless, touching you with my filthy hand for so long! Oh, I’ll never wash this hand again!”

Wait, wasn’t that contradictory?

She began to fidget and continued, “I’m such, such, suuuch a huge admirer of yours, Saint Evelyn!”

“O-Oh, are you? I’m honore—”

“Oh, please, I’m the one who’s beyond honored!” She chuckled somewhat maniacally. “I love you so much, I even started the St. Evelyn Fan Club back home! Every day I and the rest of the members pray facing the Grand Basilica, wishing you good health, also I’m sorry I’m talking so fast! I’m making a fool of myself! I must sound like such a creep!”

“No, you’re—”

“I mean, you sound lovely, and you look lovely, and you are lovely! Are you an archangel, descended to this earth to grace us with your presence? Yes, you must be. You’re so radiant, you don’t belong among human filth! Oh, I would lay out a velvet carpet to deliver you back to the heavens myself, but I am far too selfish and impure to give up the miracle of standing before you in the flesh! You’re really here! Oh goodness me, I love you so much, my head is starting to spin!”

I found myself stepping back. This lady is terrifying!!!

Was this what Cain had meant by “a bit scary”? If so, “a bit” had been the understatement of the century! She was humongously scary.

She looked like a sheltered young lady until a minute ago, but now she’s gushing drool, tears, and...whatever that other liquid is!

“Stop it, Europa!” snapped Lord Theodore, who had managed to extricate himself from the stream. “You’re frightening Lady Evelyn!”

“Lord Theodore!” I called out. Overwhelmed by extraordinary fear, I ran to him.

Lady Europa’s expression shifted to one of absolute loathing. “Theodore! You may be my cousin, but I will not allow you to interrupt my moment with Saint Evelyn!”

“Enough of this nonsense, Europa! Lady Evelyn, stay with me! I will protect you!” Lord Theodore declared, wrapping his arms around me and looking quite pleased with himself.

Lady Europa glared daggers at him. “Saint Evelyn, move! I will kill him where he stands!”

Eek!

“What are you people doing?” a calm voice rang out, cutting through the chaos.

Kira and Cain, probably worried about what was taking me so long, had come to check on us and were peeking through the gap in the door.

At that moment, the very air seemed to freeze over.

“Saint Evelyn?” Europa called out in a low voice that made me hold my breath. “Why is that dangerous thing here?”

On the receiving end of her gaze was Kira, whose eyes were wide with shock.

In an instant—ignoring Cain and me as we called out after him—Kira took off running at full speed.

***

It had been born in complete darkness. There were no sights to see, no sounds to hear. In the terrifying, stagnant void, the creature let out a small cry.

The creature had a black body, golden eyes, agile limbs, and a brain. People called it a demon. From their first breath, those born within the miasma had but one goal: to find humans, attack them, and be killed for it in turn. A fatally wounded demon would dissipate into nothingness. Emerge, rampage by instinct, be hunted down, and die without leaving a single trace behind—that was the cycle of a demon’s life.

One day, the demon broke into a small house, where it found an old woman asleep on a square box. It approached stealthily, and just as it was about to bite down on her throat, the woman opened her small eyes.

“Oh, what a cute kitty!”

The demon growled softly in response, but the woman wasn’t frightened. She reached out a hand, stroked the demon’s gaunt cheek, and smiled cheerfully. The demon was so surprised it entirely forgot about biting her.

“What pretty, sparkly eyes you have,” she said. “You’re just like Kira...”

“What...is...Kira?” the demon asked, surprising itself with the sounds coming from its own throat.

Though its speech was clumsy, it had definitely uttered words—very similar to the sequential sounds humans used.

“Kira is a character from an old story about a twinkling star, little one. It means your eyes are beautiful, like stars,” the old woman said plainly, smiling.

She told the demon the story so many times that it did its best to learn the words. The woman was knowledgeable and taught it many other things as well—about human life, about the differences between nobles and commoners, about money, school, inns, restaurants, temples, meeting halls, magic, and saints.

A saint was, apparently, a special woman whose role was to suppress the miasma that erupted from underground. In other words, she was a natural enemy of the demon’s kind. Should it ever encounter her, she could obliterate it.

I never want to meet her, it thought. But...at the same time, another part of it did.

“The current saint’s name is Evelyn,” the woman explained. “She’s so wonderful that people of all kinds name their children after her.”

Soon after that, a young couple—apparently the old woman’s relatives—came to pick her up. On the morning of her departure, the demon could hear her desperate cries of “Here, kitty, kitty,” as it left that town behind. It knew that if other humans saw it, terrible things would happen.

By then, it had become capable of taking human form. It clearly was not an ordinary demon. It headed for the royal capital, where it knew a big temple named the Grand Basilica—the saint’s home—was located. But one day, while searching for food in its demon form, it was discovered by a group of humans. They slashed its leg, but it managed to escape. Finally, it reached the royal capital.

But no one would help it. They just averted their eyes, their expressions filled with pity, and treated the demon as though it didn’t exist.

Its sudden encounter with the saint was pure serendipity. The demon had been dragging its right leg through a back alley when someone called out to it.

“Hey, are you all right?”

It turned around and saw a beautiful woman with long silver hair and large emerald eyes. She had to be around eighteen years old. The young woman wore a white dress with modest but elegant gold thread embroidery, and her appearance was otherworldly, somehow. It struck the demon at first glance that this woman didn’t seem like an ordinary noble.

Her name was Evelyn and she knew surprisingly little about the world in general. She claimed she could use healing magic but had no idea how valuable that was. The demon thought she might be more innocent than the average child, even.

Did her parents not teach her anything?

Though demons had no parents, it felt as though the old woman had been a mother to it. The demon wondered whether Evelyn had a mother at all. But her speech was proper, lacking any regional accent. Her voice was like a songbird’s and pleasant to the ear—so much so that the demon forgot all about fleeing and instead started talking to her.

To its absolute shock, Evelyn healed its injury. The spell was completely different from what the old woman had described seeing once. Dark orbs floated up into the air, and golden particles flowed into the wound. The sight was completely foreign to the demon, but...nevertheless, its pain had disappeared in an instant.

When it watched Evelyn get as excited over a single piece of bronze as if she’d just come across the greatest of treasures, it let out a sigh.

Flusters easily, laughs easily, gets excited easily, cries easily... Weirdo.

Even as it thought that, it found itself laughing at Evelyn’s foolishness—something it very quickly tried to cover up.

Evelyn mentioned wanting to work in the royal capital for a while. The demon considered just parting ways with her there, but seeing how stupid and gullible she seemed, it couldn’t just leave her to her fate.

Next thing it knew, it was extending an invitation to her. “Then why don’t you stick with me? We can make money together.”

Evelyn beamed, nodded, and exclaimed, “Yes! Oh, yes!”

She has no sense of danger, the demon thought. If she had any modicum of common sense, she wouldn’t have accepted.

“Right!” Evelyn said. “What’s your name?”

The demon was about to shake its head—it didn’t have a name, after all—but suddenly, the memory of the old woman came to mind, and the name tumbled from its mouth without warning.

“Kira,” it said.

“What a lovely name!” Evelyn said, smiling.

The demon took that as meaningless social courtesy and looked away.

Seemingly unoffended, Evelyn thought for a moment, then clapped her hands. “I see! I get it!”

“What?”

Evelyn smiled brighter and said without missing a beat, “Your eyes! They’re pretty and sparkly, like stars! That’s why your name is Kira, like the star from the story!”

Her smile looked far prettier to the demon—to Kira.

As they spent time together, Kira came to realize that Evelyn was actually the saint. It made sense, of course. Her healing magic was extraordinary. Even the most skilled physicians could only use such spells about three times a day, yet Evelyn had declared without hesitation that she had no daily limit. Not only that, she’d demonstrated it by casting over and over. Kira was convinced his guess was correct.

When a boy named Cain took them to see a man whose arm was nearly consumed by miasma, Kira began to brace himself. Evelyn would surely dispel the miasma and heal the man’s wound. Hell, with her power, she would easily dissipate the miasma covering this entire region. And when that happened, with Kira standing right there—or anywhere nearby—he figured he’d probably vanish along with the miasma.

Kira had been born a demon, after all. They were fundamentally incompatible with humans, and the saint especially. He’d always known that.

I don’t think I mind if it’s by her hand, he thought.

Despite knowing what awaited him, Kira didn’t move from his spot near her.

But...he wasn’t erased. Evelyn cast her spell, but he felt nothing. No physical abnormalities, no pain. It was only then that it hit him—she had probably figured out his true nature too.

“Kira!” a voice rang out, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Kira slowly raised his head. “Cain?”

After the girl named Europa had called Kira a “dangerous thing,” he’d fled into the town of Semme. Looking for a deserted place to hide, he’d kept running, and next he knew, he was outside the entrance to the nearby woods.

He hadn’t expected the timid Cain to chase after him like this, alone. He also hadn’t expected the slight disappointment he felt. How strange.

Though Kira had been sure that feeling wasn’t showing on his face, Cain seemed to have noticed and hesitantly mumbled, “Kira, um...”

Kira didn’t respond.

“If you’re looking for Ms. Angel, she’s right there,” Cain said, staring intently into the woods.

Huh...?

Kira gasped. No way. But...somewhere in his heart, he had hope. He turned around, hoping to find—

“Kira! Help me, Kiraaa!!!”

Not that. In fact, he wasn’t sure what he was looking at. There was a pair of arms sticking out of a bog in the woods, flailing around vigorously, and a muffled voice was calling out his name.

Kira looked back at Cain, pointing at the mysterious scene. “What the heck is that?”

“Ms. Angel’s arms, as you can see.”

Oh. Yeah, it figures...

“We split up to search for you, and I searched the town while she searched the forest,” Cain explained tearfully. “She probably fell into the bog in the process.”

Kira was baffled, but...yes, he could see how an airhead like Evelyn might fall into a bog.

“How is she breathing?” Kira asked.

She should’ve suffocated, yet here she was, shouting her heart out. Or...shouting her arms out, he supposed.

“Well, she’s an angel,” Cain mused. “Maybe she’s calling out telepathically.”

Cain’s ideas of Evelyn were definitely unrealistic, but Kira could worry about that later.

“What a racket,” Kira muttered, exasperated. “Let’s go help her.”

Off the two went to rescue the pair of shouting arms. Cain grabbed the left hand while Kira took the right. Their feet sank into the mud as they pulled together, shouting, “Heave-ho!”

But...

“Sh-She’s so heavy,” they both groaned simultaneously.

The arms flailed. “I-I’m not! It’s the mud, I swear!”

“Should I go call someone?” Cain asked.

“Don’t be a quitter!” Evelyn’s arms said. “But...that might help, actually!”

Cain nodded at the struggling arms and took off running toward the mansion. Kira watched him go, and as he shifted to grip both of the arms, he sighed.

“Why is this happening?” he muttered, deflated.

“It’s your fault!” the arms accused mercilessly.

Kira’s eyes widened.

“You ran away! I was so worried!” the arms yelled. “Then I fell into this pit, and it’s all your fault!”

“S-Sorry,” he blurted out.

Then, the muddy arms...gently, carefully grasped Kira’s hands. “It’s okay. I forgive you. You’ve done so much for me, Kira.”

Kira was about to say something but instead ended up laughing in self-deprecation. “I’m a demon, you know.”

“Yes, I knew,” the arms said. “My healing magic lets me visualize the target’s memories of being injured.”

“So...you know what you should do, then, don’t you?”

After all, Kira was a demon. He should be killed as such. That would only be natural. And yet...

“I don’t mind that you’re a demon, Kira,” the arms assured him, gripping his hands tighter. “You’re you. Right? You’re my friend. I care about you. Everything else pales in comparison.”

“But...”

“I’m not the only one who thinks so. Lord Theodore and Cain agree. I’m sure Lord Jackson and the others would say the same.”

That...

That couldn’t be, he thought.

As if sensing his disbelief, the arms laughed and declared, “Cain’s been attacked by demons before, but he said you’re not scary! You’re just Kira! So...do you believe me now?”

Something threatened to well up in his eyes, but Kira gritted his teeth. In a small, trembling voice, he murmured, “Fine. I believe you.”

The arms, in an incredibly gentle tone, said, “Good! And...you know, I want to apologize to you.”

“For what?”

“I mean, I’ve been dispelling miasma everywhere most of my life. That might’ve affected your parents, siblings, lovers, friends, neighbors...”

“Uh... No, actually, I didn’t have anyone,” Kira said, shaking his head.

He’d never had a family, nor did he have any particular attachment to demons as a species.

“I see,” the arms said, relieved.

Really, those arms. They had to stop fretting over pointless things. How annoying! And...just a tiny bit endearing, Kira thought.

“Speaking of which, that Europa lady...”

“Lady Europa said, ‘I shall die for the vile sin of calling Saint Evelyn’s friend a dangerous thing,’ and hanged herself.”

“What?!”

“It’s okay. Lord Theodore helped her and she immediately started breathing again... Urk.”

The arms began to cough ominously. Perhaps this was their limit.

“A-Are you okay?” Kira asked. “Can you breathe?”

The arms coughed again. “Well, I might be in imminent mortal danger.”

Cain was still nowhere to be seen. Rescue would take a while, and Kira was beginning to panic.

“W-Wait. I’ve got this. I’ll manage,” he said as he began to pull. “Ugh! You’re so heavy!”

“Kira, don’t overdo it! But also, please overdo it! I’m dying, probably!”

“So heavy. So, so heavy! The heaviest!” he grunted.

“Waaah! Why do you keep saying that?! Lord Theodore said I’m light as a feather!”

“He was just flattering you!”

Maybe, Kira thought. Maybe there was a reason he, a demon, had been born with a humanlike heart. Maybe it was so our hearts could connect...

“Kira! Help me, Kiraaa! I’m dyiiing! Like, reallyyy! This bog will be the end of meee!”

Actually, never mind, he concluded, breathing heavily.

“What’s going on here?” asked a dignified voice.

Kira slowly turned around to find a brawny man standing there, a group of knights behind him.

***

The next day, I returned to the mansion, caked in mud from head to toe.

“That was awful,” I grumbled.

A dumbfounded Lord Theodore, Lady Europa, and Cain were all staring at me.

“Lady Evelyn! Where were you?!” Lord Theodore asked. He looked guilty. “We searched the whole town but couldn’t find you anywhere!”

I shook my head weakly.

Cain had probably rushed to the Manilas mansion to call for help, but by the time he made it back to the bog with Lord Theodore and the others, Kira and I were gone.

It’s not your fault, I thought, casting an exhausted glance over my shoulder. It’s his fault.

“Oh,” said the man standing behind me with his arms casually crossed. “Sorry. We got a bit lost.”

That was Prince Igna. And the nonchalant way he’d said that made me scowl.

“‘A bit’?!” I snapped. “It’s been a whole day since I got stuck in the mud!”

“You keep crying over spilled milk. Have some shame.”

Ugh, what a jerk!

Prince Igna had appeared yesterday out of nowhere with his knights in tow and rescued me from the bog. He was five years younger than his brother—my ex-fiancé, Prince Alex. We’d never spoken directly before, but I’d seen him from afar several times. I’d introduced myself and he’d readily believed I was the saint.

Apparently, the Grand Basilica had been in an uproar due to my absence. I’d wondered whether he’d come to fetch me, but when I asked why he’d come to Semme, he’d told me with a perfectly blank expression, “I came to see my fiancée Europa. I hear she’s in town.”

That had been a surprise. I’d had no clue Prince Igna was Lady Europa’s fiancé. So Lord Theodore and Lady Europa aren’t romantically involved after all, I’d thought, relieved.

And then Kira and I had tried to make our way back to the Manilas estate with Prince Igna. Big mistake, that.

Prince Igna is so directionally challenged...

First of all, if he’d been headed for the Manilas estate, he should’ve come from the direction of the royal capital, not through the middle of the woods in the opposite direction. So that had been weird. And then he’d confidently taken point and led us straight into...well, who knew. He certainly didn’t.

I did think it was odd when he said stuff like, “Everyone in Semme knows that you can reach the Manilas estate faster by going through the woods,” and, “Look, an overgrown animal trail. Evidently this is a shortcut,” but...

To make matters worse, his entourage of knights—despite looking exhausted—kept encouraging his nonsense with things like “You’re absolutely correct, Your Highness!” And then everyone had a terrible time.

Fortunately, after an entire day of nonstop meandering, we somehow managed to find our way back to the familiar mansion. I wasn’t sure I could wander the forest for another minute without dropping dead.

Lord Theodore gently grasped my shoulders as I stood there, exhausted and lost in thought. Seeing him look so worried, not caring that his hands would get dirty, made me tear up.

“Oh, my poor Lady Evelyn!” he exclaimed. “I’ll have the servants draw you a bath right away! Please, relax and get yourself cleaned up!”

“Lord Theodore...!”

“And I’ll have them prepare you new clothes. You must be so tired. Have a meal, then please rest in your roo—” And then he was pushed aside. “Waugh!”

Down he went into the stream near the mansion.

Lady Europa took his place and grasped both my hands tightly, her cheeks adorably flushed. “Lady Evelyn, this is so unfair! Even covered in mud you’re breathtaking! Why, this mud is far too lucky! I, too, wish to lawfully cling to your figure! Ah, what choice do I have but to be reborn as mud in my next life?”

“Europa!” Prince Igna called out sharply from behind me.

“Oh? Prince Igna?” Europa replied, tilting her head as though she’d only just noticed him there. “Why are you gallivanting around in a place like this?” She sighed. “It must be nice to be a prince and live in carefree luxury. All you do is play, shit, and sleep on the country’s coin.”

“Ngh...!”

Perhaps out of shock at his fiancée’s harsh words, Prince Igna dropped to his knees on the spot.

Those had been...very disrespectful words toward a royal. I was dumbfounded. Instead of scolding Lady Europa, however, Prince Igna was trembling.

“Y-Your Highness?” I called out, startled, as a large amount of blood began to pool on the ground beneath him.

But the prince only held his nose and looked up with an ecstatic expression. “Oh, Europa, you truly are my ideal woman...!” he said breathlessly.

Gross!

Why was he breathing heavily and getting excited after being insulted? And...his knights were just offering him a kerchief like this was Tuesday. Was he always like this?

Actually, this reminds me of someone...

Lady Europa narrowed her eyes and spat, “You’re absolutely disgusting.”

Wait, but you’re the same way!

These two were actually very similar. In fact, they were practically the same when excited. Was that a thing for engaged couples? Did they slowly grow to resemble each other?

As I stood there overwhelmed, Lady Europa ignored the writhing Prince Igna and turned back toward me. Then, she leaped over to stand before Kira, who was next to me.

“Anyway, Prince Igna isn’t important. What’s important is that I owe you an apology, Kira!”

“It’s not a big deal,” Kira muttered, looking down as if desperately trying to avoid eye contact.

Oh, he’s backing away!

Lady Europa mercilessly pressed closer to him anyway.

“Really, it’s not,” he insisted. “So don’t worry about it.”

“Kira,” Lady Europa said softly. “I’m sorry. Also, thank you. Also, I have a question.” She smiled, but her voice turned frosty. “What’s your relationship to Lady Evelyn?”

“N-Nothing special...”

“Is that so? Because I don’t think people with a ‘nothing special’ relationship share a room at an inn. I was so envious that I couldn’t sleep at all last night. How does it feel? To watch Lady Evelyn’s lovely features as she slumbers peacefully? To hear her innocent breathing? How does it feel to sleep in the presence of such marvels?”

“Evelyn?” Kira called out, looking at me for help.

Having my small friend need me like this and hearing him call my name made me so happy. I was quite excited to throw him a lifeline.

“Lady Europa,” I said, “Kira is my first (friend)!”

“I shall eliminate him,” she replied. “Farewell, Kira.”

Eliminate?!

I hastily grabbed Lady Europa from behind.

“Wait! Lady Europa! Kira is my precious child!”

“Huh-wha? L-Lady Evelyn is hugging me right now! I might just die! Wait, am I already dead?! Have I been reincarnated as mud?!”

“Europa!” called out Lord Theodore, who had managed to extricate himself from the stream (again). “Come, I’ll take you to a healer! Don’t give up on life yet!”

He dragged Lady Europa away kicking and screaming. Prince Igna continued to gaze after her passionately. In the face of this absolute disaster, Kira’s cheek twitched, and he let out a huge sigh.

“Is everyone in this country insane?”

He wasn’t wrong. I said, “I think so,” but then he just shot me a glare.

Why?

***

The following day, all six of us—Kira, Lord Theodore, Cain, Lady Europa, Prince Igna, and I—were gathered in the parlor of the Manilas mansion.

Yesterday, after Lord Theodore had intervened, we’d all gone our separate ways. Thanks to him, I’d slept soundly in a fluffy bed and was now in a great mood.

I mean, night before last, I was crying myself to sleep on a pile of leaves...

“I can hardly believe you’re actually the saint, Lady Evelyn,” Lord Theodore groaned from the seat next to mine.

Across from us, Lady Europa—who had been persistently sniffing at me—let out a small laugh. “Theodore, you’ve been breathing the same air as Saint Evelyn all this time and you didn’t even notice? For shame.”

“Europa, aren’t you wearing the same outfit as yesterday?”

“Ah, don’t you worry. I made sure to change out my underwear,” Lady Europa declared without a hint of shame.

Lord Theodore made a face. “That’s not the issue here. Your dress is covered in mud.”

“This is no ordinary mud! It was lawfully transferred from Saint Evelyn’s body to mine! It’s a national treasure! Never again shall I wear mud-free clothes!”

Lord Theodore’s gaze shifted sadly away from Lady Europa. Mine did too.

“I didn’t know,” Cain muttered dejectedly. “I thought Ms. Angel was a real angel...”

I bowed my head to him. “I’m sorry for lying, Cain...”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I was lying too. About being a boy.”

“Ah, of course.” Wait. “Huh?”

What was that? Had I misheard?

He lied about being a boy? Wait, that means she lied about being a boy! Cain is a she!

“And my name isn’t Cain. It’s Karin.”

So it’s not that Cain is a she! Karin is a she!

I was dumbfounded, but no one seemed to share my surprise. Apparently everyone else—Kira included—already knew.

Lord Theodore spoke up. “Karin has been a timid girl from childhood,” he said. “She looked up to me and started dressing as a boy. We have different mothers, so ours is a rather complex household, but we all get along well.”

“I’ll be honest. I was bullied at my previous school,” Karin explained. “So I thought if I could be strong like my brother, things would get better. And then I started dressing as a boy...”

“I’ll be honest. I was originally the foremost candidate for engagement to Prince Oz, not Prince Igna,” Lady Europa casually joined in, throwing out her own confession.

“I’ll be honest. As a boy, I beheld Europa traipsing through a field of canola blooms and fell in love at first sight. I told Oz, ‘Europa said she wants to wedge herself between the saint’s sole and shoe and spend the rest of her life there.’ That made him recoil in horror and he canceled their engagement,” Prince Igna added triumphantly.

What was there to be smug about?!

“You truly are disgusting, Prince Igna,” Lady Europa said.

“Ngh...! Yes, insult me! You could grant me no greater boon...!”

Stop! My brain can only take so much!

In an attempt to protect it from destruction, I fled to Kira’s seat across the table from me, shouting, “Kira, help!”

He looked annoyed but acquiesced and shifted his butt to make room for me to sit. I loved him.

“I’m sorry,” Lord Theodore said, finally noticing how spooked I was. “I couldn’t find the opportunity to explain...”

Sure, but the explanations coming all at once like that wasn’t ideal either!

“By the way, Prince Igna,” Lord Theodore said, “why are you in Semme?”

Prince Igna replied without missing a beat, “I came to see my fiancée, Europa. That’s all.”

“Truly? I heard that at the capital, the knights are out in force looking for Lady Evelyn...”

“That might be true. I can’t remember exactly. The only one on my mind is Europa.”

“I see...” Lord Theodore nodded firmly. “I understand the feeling quite well. Lady Evelyn is the only one on my own mind, you see.”

I did a double take. What did he just say?

Before I could give it any further thought, Prince Igna stood up. “Now then, I should get back to the capital. Come, Europa.”

“Huh? No, thank you,” Europa replied, brushing him off as he tried to link arms with her.

The prince didn’t seem saddened at all. In fact, he blushed. “Don’t say that. I came all this way for you.”

“Um, Prince Igna, you...seem to be laboring under a misapprehension,” Europa said, tilting her head slightly. Such an elegant gesture! Despite the, you know, mud all over her clothes. “I only came here because Lord Jackson asked me to treat Theodore’s injury. I had absolutely no plans to see you.”

“Ngh!”

“It was solely your own decision to come here. It’s absurd to think you can just whisk me away. I have no time to waste on a bloody-nosed buffoon like you. My true calling is to be here, by Saint Evelyn’s side, breathing only the air she exhales.”

“Gaaah!”

With that, Prince Igna collapsed on the carpet, blood gushing from his nose.

The knights, who’d been standing by the wall, rushed over. “Your Highneeess!”

For a moment, I thought the prince might bleed to death, but I was too scared to leave Kira’s side.

Lady Europa, paying no mind to the prince as he drowned in an ocean of blood, turned to me. “By the way, I was so excited that I got to meet you, Saint Evelyn, that I neglected to ask—why are you in Semme?”

A long-overdue question. Come to think of it, I haven’t told Lord Theodore or Cain—I mean, Karin—anything.

Or, more precisely, nobody had believed me when I tried to tell them. Either way, I decided to be honest and tell all present about everything that had happened after I was exiled from the Grand Basilica.

Lady Europa was the first to speak after I finished my explanation.

“Let us kill the crown prince,” she said.

“Yes, let us.”

Wait, Lord Theodore is agreeing?! Shouldn’t he be trying to dissuade her?!

But both were oozing murder. Unusually, even Karin had her cheeks puffed out in indignation. The parlor was suddenly awash in bloodthirst.

And then there’s Prince Igna laid out on the floor, covered head to toe in blood, which certainly doesn’t help the atmosphere...

“Calm down, you three,” I said. “He’s the crown prince. In name, anyway.”

“But Saint Evelyn!” Lady Europa protested, shooting to her feet excitedly. “I cannot let this slide! Especially after, a year ago, the crown prince—”

“You mean clown prick,” Prince Igna muttered deliriously as his knights tended to him.

“Brilliant! Yes, a year ago, the clown prick broke off his engagement with you!”

“Y-Yes, he did.”

“It was a blessing! All the hexes and death curses I cast over the years finally worked!”

She did what?!

Such a risky declaration could easily get her arrested for treason. The knights tending to Prince Igna were getting visibly uncomfortable, but Lady Europa paid them no mind.

“Therefore, I must take responsibility for not finishing off the clown prick sooner!”

Such dedication to the art of assassination!

“Ahem!” Worried she’d be clapped in irons if she continued talking, I broke into a theatrical coughing fit. “Ah-hem! Ah-heeem!”

“My, what a lovely cough,” Lady Europa said. “How I wish my alarm clock would wake me with those dulcet tones.”

“A-Anyway. I was thinking of maybe stopping by the Grand Basilica. Just once.”

Everyone seemed surprised.

“But why, Lady Evelyn?” Lord Theodore asked, his expression dark. “The crown prince and your sister both plotted against you...”

I shook my head gently. “Even so, I do believe Prince Alex was correct about my powers growing weaker. My exile from the basilica—terrible delivery method aside—was likely inevitable.”

Truth be told, I couldn’t be sure whether my powers had actually dwindled. I could still use healing magic for hours on end, and I’d had no trouble at all clearing the miasma from the town of Semme.

But the saint must protect the whole country, not just one town.

It was true that, during ceremonial prayers, I’d grown unsteady and begun to feel severely exhausted. So, I’d left the Grand Basilica as Prince Alex and Mary had commanded. But...even if the exile had been unavoidable, I’d come to think that as the previous saint, I’d acted too rashly.

“Lady Europa, are your family lands not plagued by miasma?” I asked.

Lady Europa quietly lowered her gaze. “It is true that part of the reason I came here was out of concern for the recent outbreak of miasma. I knew I couldn’t get an audience with you at the Grand Basilica, but I was beside myself with worry. I thought something might’ve happened to you.”

“Huh? I thought you’d come to Semme to heal me,” Lord Theodore said.

“That was the perfect excuse to get father’s leave to come here. It was excellent timing on your part to get injured when you did, in fact.”

Lord Theodore fell silent, his expression hinting at mixed feelings. It made sense, of course, since his near death had been used as a convenient pretext.

I looked around at everyone. “My sister Mary was supposed to take over as saint. She can use healing magic, but the most she can treat are hangnails and such.”

“W-Well, I was happy when you healed my hangnail, Ms. Saint!”

“Thank you, Karin. But the saint has to be able to heal more than just hangnails.”

Karin’s eyes grew moist. “But...even being able to heal a hangnail is so cool...!”

I smiled at his—er, her—kindness. “Hangnails can be pretty painful if left alone.”

“So, Lady Evelyn, you’re concerned about the miasma all over the country?” Lord Theodore asked.

I nodded. “Yes. So, I’ll return to the capital and—”

“Absolutely not,” Lord Theodore said sharply.

“Huh?!” I had thought he’d agree!

Even Kira crossed his arms and turned his face away with a huff. “I’m against it too.”

“You too?! Why?”

“Who cares about those people?” he asked coldly. “They kicked you out, right? Let them suffer a bit.”

“Aw, thank you, Kira. You’re upset for my sake, right?”

“No, I’m not,” he muttered, turning his face even further away from me.

I was very happy that they all had such strong feelings about this, but there was a reason I had to go back.

None of them deserve what’s coming. Well...almost none of them deserve what’s coming!

If Mary didn’t fulfill her role as saint, the miasma problem would only grow worse. Then more people would be attacked by newly born demons, like Lord Theodore had been. Already, there were probably other victims out there somewhere.

“In that case, Saint Evelyn, how about I go to the capital and evaluate the situation?” offered Lady Europa, who had been uncharacteristically quiet.

I was surprised.

“I’m the fiancée of that good-for-nothing lump of a prince over there. I doubt I can get into the Grand Basilica, but I should be able to scope out the situation within the capital and relay the information back to you.”

“Lady Europa...”

“I can determine whether it’s safe for you to return to the royal capital. Surely Lord Theodore and Kira understand that this country needs your power?”

Lord Theodore groaned. Kira thought for a moment. But eventually, the two seemed to recognize the truth of what I said, and Lord Theodore gently placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Lady Evelyn, should I judge that there’s any danger to you, I’ll protect you. Even if it means confining you to this mansion.”

“You’re exaggerating,” I said.

“No, I’m very serious.”

I feel like that’d actually be more dangerous, I thought. But Lord Theodore’s concern for my safety was clearly sincere.

“Do what you want,” Kira muttered.

“Thank you, Kira!”

“Hey! Back off! Pest!” he snapped, pushing me away with both hands as I moved to hug him. Dang it.

“Then it’s settled,” Lady Europa said, grinding her teeth and clasping her hands. “Prince Igna and I will go to the capital, investigate the situation, and report back to Saint Evelyn. And we will look for an opportunity to dispose of the clown prick! Should it arise, we will annihilate him immediately.”

Wait, was that second half part of the strategy? I didn’t seem to recall anything like that. Regardless, I bowed my head in gratitude. Really, I couldn’t thank her enough.

“My deepest thanks, Lady Europa!” I said, smiling as wide as I could to convey my feelings.

“H-Hnnnnngh!”

Having let out a strange cry, Lady Europa fell backward with great force.

“Lady Europa?!”

“From close up, I gazed... Upon your radiant, holy smile... A heavenly sight... Brings such joy into my heart... I am filled with delight...”

Lady Europa fainted in 5-7-5-7-7 syllables (give or take a few).

Prince Igna regained consciousness immediately after. “I woke up to Europa sleeping next to me! W-We did the deed...!”

The excitement quickly knocked him back out with another nosebleed.

Chapter Six: A Formidable Encounter

In the royal palace infirmary was an unexpected patient: Prince Oz.

“Ah, Lady Europa,” he said. “It’s...been a while...”

Goodness me, he’s obviously on the verge of death! Europa thought, gasping at the sight of Oz wheezing weakly before her.

The prince, famed for his youthful beauty, now lay in bed, emaciated and ashen, with large and heavy dark circles under his eyes.

Perhaps having noticed Europa’s shock, Oz smiled weakly. “My stomach hurts. It’s just stress... It’s nothing serious...”

The stern-faced physician attending his bedside spoke up. “His Highness might not make it till morning.”

Oz laughed feebly. “Truly, it’s nothing seri—”

“His condition is critical.”

It’s critical!

Europa had originally come to the palace to investigate and report back to Evelyn; she hadn’t expected to find Oz dying. She’d always known he was a hard worker, but this exceeded all of her expectations.

“Lady Europa... Why are you covered in mud?” Oz asked.

“It’s sacred mud,” Europa explained. “It smells and feels amazing.”

“I see... And...my brother is covered in blood because he’s with you.”

“Exactly,” Igna confirmed. “My blood pumps only for Europa.”

After the physician left the room, Europa hesitantly asked, “Your Highness, why are you unwell?”

“I’ve been so stressed that it’s wrought havoc with my digestion, I’m afraid,” Oz replied, exhausted. “Although, well, my troubles would be almost entirely solved if only Saint Evelyn were here.”

Europa’s eyes widened.

“My brother is head over heels for you,” Oz said with a soft smile. “Surely he’s told you everything.”

“Ah, yes, he has...” Europa confirmed. She’d come all the way here, after all—she couldn’t play dumb.

Oz then directed his gaze at Igna and narrowed his eyes. “So, brother. Was Saint Evelyn in Semme?”

Europa gulped, startled.

Though Igna had acted flippant about it, Oz and the others at the basilica were indeed frantically searching for Evelyn. She was, after all, the magnificent, classy, cute, beautiful, revered saint. Any reasonable royal would understand that the Holy Kingdom of Snasile could only function thanks to Evelyn’s presence.

How will Prince Igna dodge this question?!

With Oz, Europa, and all the guards watching him intently, Igna casually said, “Nope. She wasn’t there at all.”

He just lied with a perfectly straight face! Europa thought, shock evident on her own.

Igna’s knights were all equally flabbergasted that Igna could lie so nonchalantly to his deathly ill brother.

For the first time in her life, Europa found herself admiring Igna. Oh, Prince Igna. You’re keeping quiet for St. Evelyn’s sake, aren’t you...?

She’d always thought of him as a worthless, perverted nosebleed fountain. How moving it was to see he had at least some qualities!

But Oz must have been desperate. He pressed, “Th-Then, did you at least find a clue as to her whereabouts?”

“None whatsoever.”

“Please, try to think! Even the smallest thing would suffice...!”

“Nothing at all. Neither hide nor hair.”

“Ah... I see...”

Europa was starting to feel sorry for Oz. Careful not to let the younger prince notice, she leaned over and whispered to Igna, “Your Highness, I didn’t know you were so good at lying.”

“What do you mean, ‘lying’?” Igna replied. “I’ve never met this Evelyn.”

What is he talking about? Europa wondered, dumbfounded.

Igna continued as though her surprise were the real curiosity here. “My mind is full of you, Europa, and nothing else. Now that I think about it, while I was walking through the woods, I believe I heard someone shout, ‘Kiraaa! Kiraaa!’ but it was probably, I don’t know, a forest ghoul or something.”

He was serious. He meant it.

“I. Cannot. Believe. This!!!” Europa exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Wh-What’s gotten into you, Europa?” Igna asked.

“You had the blissful privilege of seeing my beautiful, lovely, stunning Evelyn! You heard her pure, innocent cries! And you don’t remember?! I’ll gouge out your useless eyes! I’ll tear off your worthless ears! Maybe then you’ll learn something!!!”

“Ngh...! Yes, please!” Igna exclaimed as he dropped to his knees.

The pristine palace floor was rapidly growing red with blood.

“Your Highness!” the knights exclaimed. They rushed over frantically as Europa backed away.

This man’s brain is on vacation! Also, why does he get to hear Saint Evelyn cry out and I don’t?!

Europa clenched her fists in anger and disbelief. Maybe she should be killing Igna before his older brother!

Lost in her anger, she’d failed to notice one small detail.

“Um, Lady Europa?” Oz called out.

She turned around to see the young prince staring at her with a dumbfounded expression. “Yes, Your Highness?”

“Did I imagine it, or did you mention an Evelyn just now...?”

Ohhh no.

Though Europa was a sheltered young lady who lost awareness of her surroundings when excited, she wasn’t foolish enough to let her panic at her mistake show. She whipped out a fan and covered her mouth as though embarrassed about having raised her voice.

“My apologies, Your Highness. Prince Igna and I were discussing Evelyn, whom we met in Semme.”

“Ah! Evelyn! So is the saint in—”

Europa chuckled elegantly. “There are fifty-six Evelyns in Semme.”

“B-But surely only the saint would have you so—”

“This Evelyn has a beautiful, long, fluffy white mane, and she’s all cuddly and adorable and likes to yip, ‘Kiraaa, Kiraaa,’ in a very distinctive way,” Europa declared, telling no lies whatsoever.

Oz thought for a while, then muttered hoarsely, “Oh... A dog...”

The youngest prince’s condition worsened further, and Igna and Europa were quickly shooed out of the palace.

***

“Prince Igna? Where are we going?” Europa demanded.

“To the Grand Basilica,” Igna replied.

Europa’s eyes widened. “Huh? But they don’t allow ordinary people entry. Won’t they turn us away at the gate?”

“No. Because of the ongoing search, Oz, myself, and some of our guards have been granted the right to come and go freely.”

“You never mentioned that.”

“All that blood loss has helped me cool down.”

Was he trying to say his blood ran too hot normally? Europa wasn’t sure, but she’d take it. Also, he was holding her hand without permission, and she really wanted to yank it away and fully express her disgust. But, if she did that, blood would just start gushing from his nostrils again. She had reluctantly accepted this as a necessary evil.

It would be a colossal waste of time to wait for him to come to his senses again. Good grief.

When the pair arrived at the Grand Basilica, the priests at the entrance were surprised at first to see them—then broke into radiant grins.

“It’s the saint! Oh, Saint Evelyn!”

“You’ve come back to us! We’ve waited and waited...!”

The two priests danced ecstatically, their hands clasped together as they shouted, “Hooray! Hooray!”

Though she hated to burst their bubble, Europa decided to be frank. “No, I’m Europa.”

The priests froze.

“Oh, balls! Another hallucination! I can’t deal with this anymore!”

“Everything looks like Saint Evelyn now! The trees, the grass, the shadows, the sky, the birds!”

“Wait, wouldn’t that mean I’m Saint Evelyn?”

“If you’re Saint Evelyn, then I’m also Saint Evelyn! Praise be! Thank you, O Mother Goddess!”

This was...certainly a scene.

Paying no mind to the wailing priests, Igna turned back to Europa. “Good. Let’s enter.”

“I...don’t think any part of this qualifies as ‘good.’”

But it was convenient that the two were being allowed inside, and so they proceeded into the Grand Basilica.

Within seconds, Europa’s breaths grew ragged.

Nnngh! Saint Evelyn walked these corridors for twenty-three years! This is the sublime space in which she breathed, studied, changed clothes, ate meals, and prayed! Oh. Oh no. The more I think about it, the more excited I get! My legs feel like jelly!

She knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Beside the panting Europa, Igna was also panting.

Nnngh! When will she pull her hand away and call me disgusting?! She’s such a tease...!

The two peas in a pod kept walking, breathing heavily, and somehow managed to make it to the basilica’s great hall. There, an elderly priest stood before a young man.

“Who are they?” Europa asked.

“The high priest and the clown prick,” Igna replied.

“Why is the high priest brandishing his staff like he’s about to murder someone?”

“Because he’s about to murder someone.”

Europa immediately understood the circumstances.

Alex was hiding behind a pillar, keeping his distance from the high priest as best as he could. Since he was unarmed, evasion was the only tactic left to him.

The crown prince noticed the two new arrivals. “Igna! You’re back!”

“This is the day you diiieee!” the head priest shouted, mercilessly pressing his attack.

Alex lunged out of the way. “Y-You have to help me! This crazy geezer is trying to get rid of me while everyone else is gone!”

Then, noticing Igna and Europa holding hands, he shot them an envious, somewhat intense glare.

“Hmph. Must be nice, holding hands with your lovely betrothed.”

“Oh. I completely forgot,” Europa said. “Your Highness, your palm is gross and sweaty. Let go, please. Right now. Thank you.”

“Ngh...! I’ve been waiting for this!” Igna exclaimed. Blood gushed from his nose and he collapsed with a thud.

Europa used her newly freed hand to produce a fan from her breast pocket. “Allow me to assist you, good sir. Shall we tear the moron limb from limb?”

“What a marvelous young lady you are,” the high priest replied. “I gladly accept your kindness.”

“Wait a second! Lady Europa! You can’t be serious!” Alex shouted incredulously.

Europa scoffed. “For twenty-three years I’ve been plotting your demise. Now that the opportunity has finally come, I must not let it slip me by!”

“You weren’t even born yet twenty-three years ago! Why would you hate me that badly?!”

“Gouge out your heart and reflect upon its blackness!”

“I’d die if I did that! How would I reflect upon anything then?!”

Europa readied her fan with a sharp motion, and Alex’s face went pale when he realized she wasn’t joking. But, before the two could attack him, the high priest dropped his staff.

“S-Saint...Evelyn...!” he wheezed.

“Huh?!”

Was he hallucinating like the other priests?! Europa stood there, flustered, as the high priest hobbled toward her.

“Oh, Saint Evelyn...! Saint Evelyn!”

“N-No, good sir, I am Europa...”

The high priest fell reverently to his knees—not before Europa herself, but before the mud on her clothes. In tears, he said, “I can sense Saint Evelyn’s magical power emanating from this sacred mud...!”

What a formidable man...! Europa thought, trembling at the accuracy of his assessment. “I-Indeed, this mud is imbued with a sliver of Saint Evelyn’s magical power. But how did you...?”

“I knew it! I can always detect Saint Evelyn’s wavelength, no matter how faint!”

“Oh, impressive!” Europa exclaimed with a smile, cold sweat dripping down her skin.

“And you, young lady. Proudly sporting Saint Evelyn’s very own mud.” The high priest chuckled. “Staking your claim, are you?”

Europa chuckled in turn. “Quite the opposite. I am but Saint Evelyn’s humble, faithful servant. I am proud to be caked in this mud, as it is proof of my devotion.”

“Oh, impressive!” the high priest exclaimed.

“I would argue you’re more impressive by far, good sir.”

The two chuckled maniacally while Alex watched from a distance.

And then a voice that really should not have been here echoed around them. “What a fascinating conversation. Might I ask for more details?”

Europa gulped loudly and went rigid. She turned around to see the figure of Oz in a wheelchair, emerging from the dimly lit corridor.

***

A letter from Lady Europa arrived at the Manilas estate the next day.

“‘Dear Saint Evelyn, I trust you are in good health today. I myself am well, and I think solely of you. It was only thanks to the sacred mud clinging to my clothes that I could endure our painful, agonizing, excruciating parting. Ah, dear Saint Evelyn! You are the light of my life, and I daresay you ought to be the light of all peoples the world over! Even now the memory is crystalline in my mind—our very first meeting. Oh, how lovely you were, gracing me with your dazzling beauty...’”

“Um, Lord Theodore? Can you just summarize it for me, please?”

“Let’s see...” Lord Theodore went over the letter. “On pages sixteen to seventeen, it says Prince Oz has learned of her meeting with you.”

I was worried about that...

We’d all assumed that might happen, so neither Kira, Lord Theodore, nor I were particularly surprised.

The three of us were currently gathered in the mansion’s living room. Perhaps I’d been freeloading here for too long. Lord Jackson, his wife, and the servants had all begun treating me like family. Everyone was so kind. This place was so comfortable now.

“What did Prince Oz say?” I asked.

“That your exile was unilaterally decreed by Prince Alex and Lady Mary, and the clergy had no part in it. He expressed his earnest wish for you to return posthaste, if only so that he may offer you a proper apology.”

“And what did that weirdo lady say about the situation?” Kira asked, holding a cup of apple juice that the lady of the house had given him.

“Europa thinks it should be safe to bring Lady Evelyn to the royal capital,” Lord Theodore replied.

I guess she’s the “weirdo lady” now...

Kira hummed. “Really...”

“That’s all you have to say?” Lord Theodore asked, looking somewhat dissatisfied.

Kira glanced over at me. “Well, Evelyn’s decision is already made, no?”

“Yes,” I confirmed, staring intently at him. “Will you come with me, Kira?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Fine. Can’t have you out there on your own. You’ll probably just get yourself in trouble again.”

“Oh, thank you! I love you, Kira!” I exclaimed.

Before I could hug him, Kira leaped up from the couch with feline agility and made to leave the room.

At that very moment, Lord Jackson happened to pass by the door. “Oh, Kira! Are you free, perchance?”

“Yeah.”

“Then let us go bug hunting in the woods! I smeared honey on the trees this morning, so we can catch a lot of beetles! It’ll be great!”

“All right, all right. Oh, mind that step there,” Kira warned, acting like an expert caregiver as he left with the almost boyish Lord Jackson.

I watched them go, my arms still outstretched. He’s not just my Kira anymore, I see...

When I turned around tearfully, I nearly bumped into Lord Theodore.

“Eek! Oh, you startled me! Is something the matter?” I asked.

“Oh, um... I was hoping I’d luck into the hug that Kira vacated.”

How honest!

He was blushing. It was cute! Cuter than you’d expect from a grown man. I nearly did hug him in excitement but managed to restrain myself. I didn’t want to make things weird.

Both of us were red as we sat back down.

Since Lord Theodore was looking down at his feet without saying a word, I decided to break the silence. “Lord Theodore, I’m thinking of returning to the Grand Basilica after all.”

“As the saint...?”

“No.”

Lord Theodore looked up.

“A saint’s term tends to last from five to ten years,” I said with a gentle smile. “Twenty-three years was...a bit too long, I think.”

“It was, but...you were an outstanding saint, Lady Evelyn.”

“Saints can’t marry, so I completely missed my chance.” I laughed.

Most saints were engaged to royalty while young. Sacred magical power was often passed from a saint to her children, so with barely any exception, saints would have arranged marriages either to royals or to husbands chosen by royalty.

“Since my power has grown weaker, I think it’s time to pass on the role to a talented new saint.” And I have just the person in mind.

I wondered how she’d feel about it. I hadn’t pitched the idea to her yet, so for now I had to mind my words.

Since Lord Theodore remained silent, I added in a joking tone, “But even a spinster ex-saint may be worth something! If I look hard enough, I might get lucky and find a gentleman willing to marry me—”

“Lady Evelyn,” he interrupted. “Are you trying to be cruel?”

What? I was puzzled.

Lord Theodore’s expression had turned angry for some reason. “There’s a man standing before you who proposed marriage, no?”

Oh. Oh. Th-That’s right!!!

It was as though lightning had struck my brain. Over the past few days, I’d met an unending procession of eccentric people, fallen into a forest bog, and nearly gotten lost, so it had slipped my mind.

He proposed to me...!

My face suddenly felt hot. Trying to cover up for my dizziness, I blurted out, “B-But you were just in awe after I healed your injury, right? You were probably a little delirious...”

“Lady Evelyn. I was—and am—of perfectly sound mind.”

He grasped my right hand, and my heart nearly came tumbling out of my mouth. Our joined hands were practically on fire. I couldn’t tell whose body temperature was whose anymore.

“I have feelings for you. I want to know everything about you,” he said, squeezing my hand tightly.

My heart raced even faster. His eyes were gazing so earnestly at me. I could see how red I was, reflected in them. It was so embarrassing! Yet...I was powerless to look away.

“Do you not like me, Lady Evelyn?” he asked.

“N-No, that’s not... I mean...” It’s not that! Just...!

I didn’t know, actually. Truly, I had no idea how such things worked, pathetic as it was at twenty-eight years old.

I’d been cloistered in the basilica since age five. While I had had a fiancé for a good while, I’d barely known him, we hadn’t been close, and he’d never been kind to me. I’d devoted myself to my duties, and next thing I knew, he had gotten with my sister. I’d always assumed romance only happened in storybooks, since it was such a distant concept to me. I’d figured I would spend my whole life just yearning for it.

So to hear Lord Theodore say he had feelings for me was surreal.

It wasn’t that I doubted him. I just wondered how such a wonderful man could desire a woman like, well, me.

But...I certainly don’t dislike him...

That much I knew for certain. He was bumbling but kind. Our time together was always fun, and it brought me joy, and it made my heart flutter. And that was precisely why I wanted to take the time to think his proposal through. I had to give him a proper answer.

“N-Not yet,” I stammered in a high pitch.

Lord Theodore leaned in, peering at my face. My body was shaking with tension, and I was sure he felt it through our linked hands.

“Please wait a little longer. Th-Then I’ll give you my answer.”

“And how long is ‘a little longer’?”

“Um, umm... F-First I need to return to the basilica and sort things out!” I declared, my face beet red.

Lord Theodore’s eyes widened for a moment, and then...he broke into a radiant grin. “All right. I can wait.”

He really is a sweetheart, isn’t he?

Lord Theodore’s smile was gentle as always. He was gazing adoringly at me, his lips curled softly upward, and...

...I can’t take my eyes off of him...

“Lady Evelyn,” he said, still smiling. “Pardon my rudeness, but there’s something I must say.”

“Yes?” I asked, tilting my head.

He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “I’m glad you’re a spinster.”

“What?!”

And there went every last one of my fluffy thoughts. I was stunned!

“Lord Theodore! How can you say such a thing? It pains me, you know!” I protested, pouting.

He narrowed his eyes lovingly. “We wouldn’t have met otherwise.”

“...!”

I knew he spoke from the heart, so I couldn’t say anything back.

But it’s not fair for him to put it like that! I grumbled internally as I lightly smacked his chest in protest.

His smile turned brighter still.

Lord Theodore arranged a carriage for us—with nice soft seats as always—and we set out for the royal capital that afternoon. Kira sat beside me, while Lord Theodore was in the seat facing us.

As the carriage began moving, Kira, who was observing the insect cage on his lap, asked suspiciously, “What’s up with you?”

“Huh?” I mumbled. “Wh-What do you mean?”

“You’re obviously acting weird,” he pointed out bluntly.

What could I say to that? He was right, of course. I was too quiet, and it was natural for him to be suspicious. I nervously glanced around, but Lord Theodore said nothing and just stared at me intently.

So I looked away again.

“W-Wow. That beetle is magnificent!” I stammered, desperately trying to hide behind a sudden and not very legitimate interest in the bug Kira had caught.

“I guess...”

Ugh, I can’t say it! I’m too embarrassed to look at Lord Theodore’s face...!

Looking at him immediately brought to mind the events of a few hours ago. Him telling me, “I have feelings for you,” and, “I can wait,” and, “I’m glad you’re a spinster.” Just thinking of that sugary-sweet atmosphere made my heart race like crazy. How was I supposed to stay calm?

“So, did something happen?” Kira pressed.

“N-Not at all!”

Kira hummed but seemed to lose interest in pursuing it further.

Since the carriage couldn’t take us directly to our destination, we got off at the capital’s main thoroughfare and decided to walk the rest of the way to the Grand Basilica.

Just as we started walking, I nearly bumped shoulders with a man headed in the opposite direction, but Lord Theodore quickly pulled me close.

“This area is quite crowded,” he cautioned. “Please be mindful.”

“Th-Thank you very mush!” Ack! I messed that up!

Lord Theodore was graceful enough not to laugh in my embarrassed, downcast face and casually took my hand. The gesture was very smooth, but his hand felt quite hot around mine.

Is he as embarrassed about this as I am?

Oh no. I was growing flustered all over again! My face was getting all warm.

“Kira,” I mumbled, unable to bear the silence. I held out my left hand to him.

“Huh? What?”

“It...would be bad if we got separated,” I said, pleading with my eyes.

Reluctantly, wordlessly, Kira took my hand, a sullen expression on his features.

The three of us walked hand in hand toward the basilica.

“Mama! Look! Those three people holding hands are all so pretty!”

“Shh! Don’t yell! Just look!”

“Oh, what a lovely married couple! Is that their child? Or are they perhaps...a throuple?!”

Um, I feel like we’re attracting all sorts of weird attention here.

Despite my discomfort, we reached the basilica without incident. Atop the neck-hurtingly long staircase, I could see the small figures of priests standing guard at the entrance. And before them, illuminated by sunlight, was a beautiful girl with her back to us.

“Lord Theodore, look, it’s Lady Europa—” I began.

When she turned our way, the man opposite her—the high priest—opened his eyes wide, shouted, “S-Saint Evelyyyyn!” and took a step toward us.

But...

“Eeeyaaagh!”

We were aghast.

Perhaps he had forgotten about the stairs, because he’d completely missed his footing.

“Your Eminence!”

“Your Emineeence!”

“We must help him!”

“Let’s go!”

The priests came rushing out of the Grand Basilica, one after another.

“Eeeyaaagh!”

And then they all tumbled spectacularly down the stairs at tremendous speed.

I was frozen in place before the oncoming avalanche.

“Lady Evelyn, watch out! This way!” Lord Theodore said, scooping me up.

It was the right decision, to be sure, but I noticed he was incredibly calm given the situation. As we took shelter to the side of the stairs, battered priests came tumbling down one after another.

A lot of them have broken bones!

They’d all rolled down the stairs with such force that it was only natural they’d get hurt, but the sight still made my heart clench. Some seemed to be free of heavy external injuries, but their broken bones might’ve pierced their organs. Several were choking and coughing up blood.

Among the wounded, the head priest—who had bounced around the dozens of tumbling priests like a pinball before arcing his way to the ground—was in critical condition.

“S-Saint...Evelyn,” he wheezed. “I’m...so glad...I can see you...one last time...”

He’s at death’s door!

Faster than my brain could process, my hands shot up and I chanted, “R-Resurrection!”

Golden motes of light, more powerful than those produced by Rejuvenate, emerged from my hands and danced through the air before being absorbed into the priests’ wounds.

As their pain subsided, the priests slowly began to rise from the pile of bodies that extended from partway up the stairs all the way to the bottom. The high priest, too, unsteadily stood up with help from the others.

The moment our eyes met, tears welled up in his sunken eyes.

“Saint Evelyn! I-I thought I’d never see you again! W-Waaaaah!”

“Saint Evelyyyn! You’re not a hallucination! You’re the real saaaint!”

“Thank goodness you’re safe! Are you injured? Are you hungry?!”

“Your Eminence! Everyone...!” I said, unable to help the tears in my own eyes. I couldn’t recall them ever being so familiar with me. Not ever.

I ran up to the high priest, crying, and...flicked his wrinkled forehead with my finger.

“Huh?”

“S-Saint Evelyn...?”

They all looked at me, confused.

“Now listen here!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “Stairs are dangerous! Don’t just run down a staircase like that!”

Perhaps because I was yelling so loud, everyone froze as though struck by lightning. I went around flicking each of their foreheads. One by one, they sat down helplessly on the stairs. It...was probably a bit disrespectful to do that to men older than me, really, but no matter! I had to make them all think about what they’d done!

“You especially, Your Eminence! You’re an elderly man! You must watch your step!”

“Saint Evelyn...”

“I’m the one who should be saying that I thought I’d never see you again! I finally came back, and...I thought I was watching you all die...”

My nose stung as I spoke. I didn’t want to cry, but my vision was already growing blurry.

“Saint Evelyn, you’re cryi—”

“Shut uuuuuup!” I snapped, flicking the priest’s forehead before he could finish. He was old enough to be my father, but no matter! No mercy!

He clutched his chest and collapsed, mumbling weirdly, “Ngh... She’s so cute...”

“Stop talking nonsense! Think about what you did!”

“Sooo cute! I love her!”

“Stupiiid!” What are they doing?! I’m angry here!

The angrier I got, the more the priests looked at me as though I were a puppy frolicking through a field. How utterly vexing!

“Flick me too!” Lady Europa pleaded. “About a million times, if you would!”

“W-Well, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, might I request a flick as well?” Lord Theodore muttered.

Stooooop!

Now there was a line forming in the corner! I ignored Lord Theodore and Lady Europa and continued to tearfully flick the priests’ foreheads.

After flicking so much that my fingers got tired, I was led into the Grand Basilica by the priests, who looked almost entranced. Lady Europa had already explained my circumstances since leaving the basilica, and thanks to that, they granted permission for Lord Theodore and Kira to enter too.

This brings me back... I thought as we walked through the marble corridors. I’d only been away for ten days or so, but it really felt like coming home after a long time.

“Saint Evelyn is even lovelier than before! I love her!”

“What are you saying? Saint Evelyn has been positively angelic since age five!”

“Do you think if I prostrate myself she’ll flick me again?”

“Shut up, you annoying lot!” the high priest snapped. “Saint Evelyn is my dear granddaughter! Ugh, how I want to squish her!”

Maybe it feels like a long time because things have changed so much around here.

The priests I remembered were serious and silent, as one would expect from those in religious service. They...were not like that anymore. But perhaps this was their true nature. Had they been forcing themselves to be stoic around me before? I kind of felt sorry for them...

“Lady Evelyn, it’s dangerous here,” Lord Theodore whispered in my ear as he shot sharp glances at the surrounding priests. “Don’t leave my side.”

Our exchange didn’t escape the high priest’s strangely keen attention. He narrowed his eyes. “Young man. What do you think you’re doing, acting like Saint Evelyn’s beloved?”

“I won’t lie. I do wish to become her beloved.”

Ngaaah!!!

The atmosphere stirred at Lord Theodore’s straight-faced declaration.

“Y-You,” the high priest yelled. “Are you in love with Saint Evelyn?!”

“I am,” Lord Theodore confirmed. “I am fond of her. More so than anyone.”

Eeeyaaagh!!!

This was too much! There was no way I could keep a straight face!

Lord Theodore gingerly grasped my right hand. “It’s all right, my lady. Whatever happens, I will be your shield.”

It’s not all right in the least, and it’s entirely your fault!

Not that I had the composure to say such a thing out loud. Instead, I just nodded frantically, which for some reason made the priests get even more agitated. Mutters rose all around us.

“Everyone, calm down, please!” Lady Europa said, her voice crystal clear. “I understand your agitation quite well. But let us postpone Lord Theodore’s trial.”

“Wait, Europa, I’m being put on trial?”

“Of course! Saint Evelyn is revered as an idol the country—no, the world over! Everyone knows dating an idol is a serious crime.”

I was a saint, not an idol...

While I debated whether to protest, we reached the Grand Basilica’s great hall. They’d already informed me that Prince Oz would be waiting here, but seeing the figure of another man next to the young prince’s wheelchair made me squeeze Lord Theodore’s hand tightly.

“E-Evelyn!”

There he was. My former fiancé, with bandages around his head, calling out my name in a strange, squeaky voice. I was floored.

“Step back, my lady!” Lord Theodore said, eyeing Prince Alex warily while trying to protect me. “That man is suspicious!”

I tried to explain. “N-No, Lord Theodore, that man is—”

“E-Evelyn! I’m, uh, I’m really sorry. I’ve been thinking about things. You know, things. All sorts of them,” he mumbled nonsensically, not getting through to me at all.

Wh-Why is he half naked? Why does he look like he just barely survived a journey across the savanna?

To be fair, Prince Igna was lying face up beside him, spurting blood from his nose. That was probably how Prince Alex had gotten all the bloodstains. It certainly added to the atmosphere.

Flanked by his two creatures—er, brothers—Prince Oz was staring blankly ahead.

“Saint Evelyn... I must find Saint Evelyn... Or I won’t...survive...”

Aaand he was also muttering. Yikes.

“Prince Alex?” I called out, trying to see if intelligible conversation was still possible.

His eyes immediately filled with tears, and he was struck speechless for a few moments. Then, he wiped his eyes several times and said, “S-Sorry. It’s been so long since someone called me ‘prince,’ so I wasn’t expecting...”

“Uhh...”

“That’s right. That’s my title...”

“Um...”

“It’s a great title. Prince. Crown prince. Ha ha... Ha ha ha... I’m the crown prince!”

What happened to him?

Prince Alex was bawling like a baby. All right, then. He wasn’t sane either. I turned back to the high priest behind me.

“Your Eminence, Prince Alex told me that Mary would be the next saint.”

The high priest’s expression went from enamored to something else entirely.

“But...miasma is rising in Semme, the next town over,” I continued. “Is Mary still carrying out her duties?”

“I must humbly report that Mary Safka is imprisoned in the royal palace’s dungeon,” the high priest said. “She has been arrested for the heinous crime of impersonating the saint.”

I figured...

When Karin mentioned that someone who sounded like Mary had been causing trouble and declaring herself the saint, I’d surmised she would meet such a fate. Not only had I selfishly vanished, I’d also let my own family cause everyone all kinds of trouble. I bowed my head repeatedly to all the priests.

“I’m so sorry about my sister!” I said.

“Oh, please, Saint Evelyn! You need not apologize!” one of the priests said.

“He’s right!” the others chorused.

The high priest’s white eyebrows drooped apologetically. “It’s our fault that you suffered the misfortune of being exiled from the Grand Basilica. We didn’t know how lonely you felt until Rupy told us...”

Rupy? Who’s Rupy?!

It was no use. The words were just bouncing off my head again.

Amid my confusion, I saw a familiar beautiful girl offering the high priest a luminous smile. “Your Eminence, I am but a tiny speck of plankton who loves Saint Evelyn dearly, and as such, I understand your feelings completely. It is only natural to want to punish those who would try to take advantage of others and crush them into a bloody, unrecognizable pulp. I would have done the same.”

“Oh, Rupy!” the high priest said. “Merci beaucoup, truly, mon amie.”

“Pas de problème, good sir.”

Ohh! Rupy is Lady Europa! I see!

Hadn’t she only just met the priests? They seemed to be getting very friendly.

But what do I do? I have no idea what else they said!

Flustered, I turned to Kira, who was mid-yawn.

“Hey, Kira,” I whispered. “Did you understand any of that?”

“I understood that the weird lady has a weird nickname,” he replied.

Oh, thank goodness.

Kira was smart, so if he only understood as much as I did, well... That made me feel better.

“Ah! Saint Evelyn! Is that her?!”

“Prince Oz?”

The spark of intelligence had returned to the prince’s eyes, which were focused now. It was like he’d just returned from another plane of existence. What a relief! He was literally the only one of the princes who could be called even remotely reasonable.

“Lady Evelyn,” he began, his expression serious. “There’s something I must urgently discuss with you. Could you spare me a few minutes?”

“Y-Yes, of course,” I said with a nod.

“Thank you,” he replied, smiling weakly. “Now, brothers, please leave.”

“What?” Alex protested. “Come now, Oz. I want to hear what—”

“Sorry, you’re just really in the way.”

Alex stared at Oz in silence for a moment, then, sniffling, grabbed Prince Igna and dragged him out of the room.

After that, we discussed certain matters, and Prince Oz made various decisions while giving serious consideration to my concerns. It was settled that I would formally step down from the position of saint—and that a certain someone would inherit the role.

***

“Ah, Saint Evelyn. There you are,” Lady Europa said with the loveliest smile known to man.

The Grand Basilica had several special places for the current saint to relax and recuperate, since saints typically spent many years cooped up in the building. That night, after my discussion with Oz, I’d been resting in one such place—a balcony overlooking a small waterfall behind the basilica.

“The high priest and the others all start crying whenever they’re around me,” I explained. “I figured I should be alone for a bit.”

“Oh? I think you should let them cry as much as they need,” she said with a shrug.

Lady Europa and the high priest had both participated in my discussions with Prince Oz, and everyone was in agreement that she would succeed me as the 18th Saint of the Holy Kingdom of Snasile.

I could tell she was talented from the moment we met...

I’d only noticed Kira’s true nature through my Diagnose spell, which had let me peek into his memories. Lady Europa, however, had recognized that he was a demon with just a single glance. That was proof that she had very sharp senses for demons—and, by proxy, the presence of miasma.

She may become a much better saint than I ever was.

Though the high priest had opposed the idea initially, he had to have noticed Lady Europa’s talent as well. Ultimately, after much persuasion from Lady Europa herself, he’d given in. In fact, no sooner had I said I wanted to quit than she had volunteered to take over the role.

“Why did you offer to be the next saint, Lady Europa?” I asked as I listened to the distant sounds of the waterfall.

I’d found that decision puzzling.

Being the saint isn’t just fun and games,after all.

Much of each day had to be devoted to prayer rituals, and there was very little personal freedom. Lady Europa had been raised as the daughter of a duke—surely the role would bring her more trials than joy. I was worried about imposing that burden on her.

Lady Europa rested both hands on the railing and looked at me for a few moments, then brought her index finger to her shapely chin and tilted her head. “Let’s see. There are two main reasons.”

She held up one pale finger.

“One, you can only ever have one successor.”

“Yes, that’s...right,” I said.

“And that one person will be me! To receive a direct handoff from my idol... Why, that will be the ultimate honor and privilege as the leader of your fan club! I would be an utter fool to miss this chance!”

“I see...”

I don’t, actually.

“Two—and this is just a bonus—becoming the saint lets me postpone my marriage to Prince Igna. I believe the phrase is ‘lucky break.’ Now, if he dies of blood loss in the meantime? Why, that would be a lucky burst!”

Oh, poor guy...!

I couldn’t help but cry for him. He was tactless and boorish, but this was truly uncalled for.

Lady Europa’s expression shifted from rapture to something much darker. “But I must confess, I’m actually anxious.”

“Huh?”

“You and your predecessors were all such admirable women. Can someone like me truly take up that mantle...?”

She rubbed her delicate shoulders with both hands and sniffled softly. Seeing her like that, I belatedly remembered—

Right! Lady Europa says and does crazy stuff, but she’s only sixteen!

That made her twelve years my junior. She was acting the same as always, but the sudden prospect of taking over as saint had to be nerve-racking.

“It’s all right, Lady Europa,” I said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Saint Evelyn...?”

“I’ll ask the high priest if I could be allowed to visit the Grand Basilica once a month!”

Honestly, Lady Europa was a bit scary, but she seemed to like me. I figured this might reassure her a little, but...her expression didn’t brighten at all.

“I... But to have the guidance of the great (former) Saint Evelyn only once a month?” she said, her eyes adorably teary. “Why, I don’t know that I won’t be crushed under the weight of responsibility...”

My heart skipped a beat at how cute she looked. Oh, Lady Europa! I’ve had you all wrong!

What awful misconceptions I’d had about her. She was just a fragile girl, and here I’d been, thinking of her as scary, gross, and abnormal. I had to be more considerate.

“I understand! Perhaps I could do it a few—”

“What was that?”

“U-Um, five...times a month?”

“I can’t hear you!”

“Twice...a...week?”

“You can do better!”

“Every...day?” I ventured timidly.

“Aaaaaaaw yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!!!” Lady Europa roared in a very unladylike manner, violently headbanging. “I did it. I did it!!! I’ve waited my entire life for thiiis!!!”

Eek!

Faced with the true form of the monster before me, I felt my legs give out. Lady Europa’s bloodshot eyes glowed brightly even in the dark of night, leering at me like I was her prey.

I was shaking violently. Mother Goddess preserve!

It was then that Lord Theodore made his gallant appearance at the balcony.

“Stop it, Europa!” he shouted. “I heard everything! You’re just trying to trick Lady Evelyn into promising—”

Lady Europa shoved Lord Theodore aside.

“Waugh!”

He crashed over the balcony and fell headfirst into the darkness.

Lady Europa ignored the big splash echoing from below and crawled on all fours toward my collapsed form. Peeking out from her disheveled long hair was her terrifyingly beautiful face, with her tongue sticking out, licking at her cheek.

“Lady Eeevelyn...”

“Ee, eee...”

“We’ll be together...forever and ever and ever.” She paused ominously. “Won’t we?”

Kira! Save me, Kiraaa!

As I screamed my reliable companion’s name internally, I was overcome with terror and passed out right then and there.

Chapter Seven: Summer of Evelyn Festival

My eyes opened to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling.

I looked around, then sat up. This bed was very fluffy and very unfamiliar. My bed at the Manilas mansion had been wonderfully comfortable, but this was next level. It even had a canopy.

What happened? I wondered groggily. I feel like I had a horrible nightmare...

I vaguely recalled a strange laugh, and someone’s scream growing farther and farther away, and the sound of my own teeth chattering. An absolutely chilling dream to have in a bed fit for a princess.

“You’re awake, Saint Evelyn,” came a voice from beside me, clear as a bell.

I trembled. “L-Lady Europa...”

For some unknown reason, just seeing her there made me shake uncontrollably.

Despite my rudeness, Lady Europa was cheerful as she said, “We’re at the royal palace. I’ve been by your side the entire time since you fainte—that is, since you fell asleep.”

“Huh...?”

My vision was rapidly darkening.

Wait, does that mean I can’t get married anymore?!

Lady Europa frantically waved her hands. “Please, be at ease! I absolutely... I, um, absolutely didn’t do any, er, a-a-a-anything, hee hee, anything improper!”

She couldn’t sound less honest if she tried!

But it seemed wise to not probe any further. For my own sake too.

But why are we at the palace?

We’d been at the Grand Basilica last night. I’d been watching the waterfall when someone came, and... Ngh, it was no use. I groaned, holding my head; it hurt from trying to remember.

Lady Europa clapped her hands lightly. “Now then, let’s get you ready!”

At her signal, a group of maids who must have been waiting outside filed into the room in orderly rows. Flabbergasting.

“Now, Saint Evelyn, these ladies will help you change into your ceremonial robes.”

“Huh?! What for?!” I asked.

“Why, today is the day of the Summer of Evelyn Festival!”

“Wha?” What kind of festival is that?!

I’d never heard of it. And I had a very bad feeling.

“If I may ask,” I muttered hesitantly as the maids closed around me, “what exactly is the Summer of Evelyn Festival...?”

“Ah, of course!” Lady Europa exclaimed, her eyes sparkling. “It is a festival of you, by you, and for you!”

As it turned out, the originator of this ridiculous festival was Prince Oz.

Immediately after the decision had been made that I would be stepping down as saint, the exhausted prince had told his retainers, “Saint Evelyn has served our kingdom faithfully for twenty-three years. We must celebrate her new beginning...”

“What measures do you propose, Your Highness?” a retainer had asked.

“Let’s see. First, I’d like to assuage the public’s concerns, since the fake saint incident has stirred up a good bit of anxiety. We’ll open part of the basilica to the public, then have Saint Evelyn perform one final prayer ritual before Lady Europa debuts as the new saint. We’ll make that ritual the main event of the evening. During the day, we’ll have stalls set up all throughout the capital selling sweets, paintings, and crafts related to Saint Evelyn. I’d also like to hold a parade, since she’s quite popular. And...we could use the arena and hold title matches related to Saint Evelyn as well. The foreign envoys would surely be pleased...”

“Good thinking, Your Highness! Even weakened, you are sharp of mind and tongue!”

And that was what, supposedly, had happened. Under Prince Oz’s leadership, his retainers quickly made all the necessary arrangements and set up this Evelyn festival for the next day—this morning.

It had undoubtedly taken a great deal of speed, funds, and coordinated effort.

His brothers are complete messes, but Prince Oz is beyond capable...

Perhaps it was because his older brothers were the way they were that Prince Oz had worked hard to become the responsible one in his family. It was admirable.

“Though Prince Oz pitched the idea, I came up with the name of the festival,” Lady Europa explained. “I wanted to combine your name with the season of summer.”

“But it’s spring...”

“This is the ultimate event, where worshippers can show their devotion just by chanting the festival’s name!” Lady Europa said dreamily.

“We look forward to the Summer of Evelyn Festival,” the surrounding maids said in unison.

It’ll be torture if the whole capital is like this, I thought. But...Prince Oz was so thoughtful, coming up with all this for me.

Well, it did seem the focus was more on easing the citizens’ minds and revitalizing the economy than on me personally. But I was sure I’d been an important factor too.

Naturally, I now felt more serious about it. My final duty as saint would be to pass the position on to Lady Europa tonight. While I thought about all that would entail, the maids changed me into pure-white ceremonial robes, powdered my face, and arranged my hair.

“Eek!” Lady Europa squealed. “Saint Evelyn, you’re so beautiful you could send the whole world into a tizzy!”

“Lady Europa is right! You look lovely, Saint Evelyn!”

“I could never have imagined our saint was so stunning!”

Okay, okay. Lady Europa’s compliment aside, this is all flattery! I thought, smiling awkwardly as the young maids fussed cheerfully.

Perhaps having heard that I was ready, Lord Theodore and Kira came in.

“How do I look, Kira?” I asked, immediately moving over to pester him. “Am I pretty?”

“Well...” he muttered.

“Well?!”

“The clothes are fine, I guess.”

Well, his bluntness sure hadn’t changed since our first meeting. But that was so like him! I loved it.

My gaze shifted to another familiar face, and I noticed Lord Theodore covering his mouth with his hand.

“Lord Theodore?”

“I-I beg your pardon, Lady Evelyn,” he muttered in a very small voice, flustered for some reason. What I could see of his cheeks was bright red. “Um, you’re even more radiant than usual, and...words appear to have escaped me.”

Th-This man, I swear!

He wasn’t even trying. He was just being himself! Somehow, that made him even more formidable. Also, was my face getting a bit hot? It felt like my face was getting a bit hot.

When I tried to smack my cheeks to hide the redness, the maids frantically moved to stop me.

***

After the costume fitting was done, I changed into simple clothes any town girl would wear and went with Lord Theodore to tour the festival. There was still time before my ceremony, and since nobody knew what the saint looked like, the Grand Basilica had given me permission to go out.

Lord Jackson and his wife, who had come to the capital to take part in the festivities, immediately sequestered Kira away. People from nearby towns and villages, Semme included, were coming to the capital in droves after hearing that a festival was taking place.

“Take my hand, Lady Evelyn,” Lord Theodore said, casually extending his palm.

Perhaps I was intimidated by the busy streets, because I immediately obeyed. I’d gotten quite used to this sensation, I felt.

My heart still flutters every time, though...

Which I didn’t say out loud, of course. It would’ve been too embarrassing.

“There are various events being held throughout the capital today,” he said. “Is there anywhere in particular you’d like to go?”

“Let’s see...”

Beneath the rooftops decorated with gigantic banners that said, “Summer of Evelyn Festival!” the city streets were lined with countless stalls, all seemingly doing quite well. But...on closer inspection, the signs and banners only displayed strange items for sale.

“Evelyn marshmallows, Evelyn margherita pizzas, Evelyn macarons, Evelyn marmalade buns...”

Do they get penalized for selling foods that don’t start with “ma”?

“Look! The Evelyn marmalade buns have little smiley stamps of your face, Lady Evelyn!”

“Oh. You’re...right...”

Since my face wasn’t known to the public, the image on the stamp didn’t particularly resemble me. Still, I was happy to know people liked me so much.

“Now then, I’ll take about fifty to start,” Lord Theodore declared.

“Wait, Lord Theodore! Just two will do!”

He tilted his head. “Truly?”

We got in line at the stall and bought two Evelyn marmalade buns. They were freshly steamed and delicious, and we quickly polished them off.

“Now, how about an Evelyn margherita pizza? Apparently they’re enchanted with ‘tasty healing magic.’”

“We can split one,” I suggested. “They’re quite large.”

“Perfect! Let’s get a side of Evelyn mashed potatoes to go with it.”

Th-This is fun!

I’d eaten at inns with Kira before, but this was my first time eating while walking around. Blending into the crowd, walking like an ordinary girl, eating and laughing with Lord Theodore... What a wonderful time. I was having a blast.

Not that I’m a girl anymore!

“Mama! Look! That handsome guy and that pretty girl are all lovey-dovey!”

“Shh! Be quiet so we can eavesdrop!”

“Oh, what a lovely married couple! Wait, no, they’re far too bashful. They must not be dating just yet!”

I felt like we were getting a lot of attention, but today, that didn’t seem to matter much.

My heart dancing with joy, I said, “Lord Theodore?”

“Yes?”

“I’m loving today’s date!”

Lord Theodore dropped his Evelyn maraschino cherries.

“Oh! You dropped them!” I said, catching the expensive Evelyn maraschino cherries before they hit the ground. I casually held them to his mouth. “Here you go.”

“...”

“Lord Theodore?”

After being silent for a while, staring at the cherries before him blankly, Lord Theodore finally looked at me. “You think we’re on a date.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

Frankly, I hadn’t thought about what I’d said. What was a date, again?

Um, I think Lord Theodore explained it as “An outing between a man and a woman who are growing close”—

Realizing my poor choice of wording, I hurriedly shoved the Evelyn maraschino cherries into my mouth. A brilliant strategy to cover up my blunder and bewilder my opponent, if I did say so myself.

“Wow, these are delici— Mmph! Ack!”

“Lady Evelyn?!” Lord Theodore yelled as I broke into a coughing fit. “Are you all right?!”

I was so flustered that I’d choked! Lord Theodore rubbed my back worriedly. His touch was so gentle that it made me cough even harder.

Lord Theodore’s gaze softened. “Ah, you truly are adorable, my lady.”

Stooop!

I tried to plead with my eyes, but he just repeated, “Truly adorable,” with a perfectly straight face. What was a girl (of twenty-eight) to do with this man?

Struggles aside, we continued through the capital’s main street until one particular booth caught our attention and brought us to a halt. The whole city was lively today, but this place alone was strangely deserted. It really stood out.

“What’s that stall?” I asked.

“Oh, that?” Lord Theodore asked with a solemn nod. “That’s a booth for taking commemorative photos with Prince Alex.”

Next to a magical camera stood the forlorn prince, wearing a wooden board around his neck that said, “I’m thinking about what I’ve done.” He was no longer in his tattered, half-naked state but properly dressed in princely formal wear—which contrasted with his hunched shoulders and melancholy, lonely figure.

Priests—photographers, apparently—stood on either side of the prince, their long staves crossed in front of him. Their expressions were stern, making them look more like soldiers escorting a criminal than attendants assisting a royal.

“Someone! Anyone! Take a commemorative photo with me?!” Prince Alex called out desperately. “I’m a prince! I know I don’t look like it, but I am! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!”

Stone-faced festival goers passed by quickly, not even sparing him a glance, until a wide-eyed child, no more than three years old, ran up to him.

“Mommy! Who’s this man?”

“He’s a criminal who hurt Saint Evelyn,” his mother said sternly. “Stay away from him!”

“He hurt the saint! Death to this man!” the three-year-old clamored before spitting on the prince.

Tears welled up in Prince Alex’s eyes. “Please! If Oz finds out nobody wanted to take a photo with me, he’s gonna yell at me! You’ve got to help me out!”

Just as I was thinking it would be best for me to stay out of this, our eyes met. Urk!

“E-Evelyn!” Prince Alex called out, bursting into tears. “I-I’m so sorry about, um, all the things!”

I sighed, frowning at his characteristically shallow apology. “All the things” didn’t even begin to cover the fact he’d exiled me, but...at the same time, the old Prince Alex would’ve never admitted any amount of fault, no matter what. He’d probably been reprimanded very thoroughly from the day I left the basilica until now. That thought made me feel like I didn’t need to be angry anymore.

“So... Want to take a commemorative photo?” he asked.

“No, thank you,” I said.

His shoulders drooped dejectedly. “Oh...”

Despite everything, he was so handsome that when he made a face like a kicked puppy, I felt like I’d done something wrong.

Come to think of it, I’ve never taken any photos with him. Not even when we were engaged...

Well, this was a festival, to be fair. And I probably would never have to deal with him again, so...

I could take one last photo, then burn it for closure. Yes, that could work.

“All right,” I said. “Just one—”

“I’ll take a photo with you, Your Highness,” Lord Theodore interjected, stepping forward before I could.

In any other country, citizens would be rushing in droves to take a photo with a prince. Perhaps Lord Theodore was the only normal person here.

“R-Really?! That’s great!” Prince Alex exclaimed, brightening considerably.

It had to be true, then. No one had stopped by the booth before us.

The two stood shoulder to shoulder amicably as a photographer priest moved to stand before them. With two strikingly handsome men standing side by side, people began to pay attention.

“It truly is an honor to take a photo with you like this, Your Highness,” Lord Theodore said serenely.

Prince Alex chuckled. “I know, right? I... Ow! Ow, ow, hey! Your nails are digging into my shoulder! Yeowch!”

“My only regret is that I won’t have another chance to cause you this much pain.”

The two seemed to be chatting cheerfully. Men were so quick to become friends! I was a little jealous of how easy it was for them.

After they were done talking, the photograph was taken without issue. Lord Theodore smiled, tore up the photo the priest gave him, and tossed it in the trash.

“Could it be you still...” he muttered as he made his way back to me.

“Huh?” I mumbled.

“Oh, nothing.”

I still what? I wondered. I’d heard him clearly! What had that been about? But...he didn’t seem inclined to tell me.

The haggard-looking Prince Alex saw fit to interrupt my thoughts with some nonsense. “Hey, Evelyn? Mary’s ‘hangnail-healing squad’ is over there...”

It must be a booth for healing hangnails, I realized, though I couldn’t be certain.

So, to confirm, I looked in the direction Prince Alex was pointing at and saw a familiar girl facing Mary at a stall some distance away.

My eyes widened. Karin!

Around Karin—who was cross-dressing today as usual—there were other children her age. Her friends, maybe? But...they were keeping some distance from her.

“This is unbelievable!” Karin snapped. “Why... Why are you...?!”

And that was the reason. She was trembling with rage, her face bright red. I’d never seen her like this! She was usually so quiet and shy.

I wanted to run to her, but Lord Theodore placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’s all right.”

“But, Lord Theodore, Mary might’ve done something awful to Karin!” I protested.

“No, I think it’s quite the opposite, actually.”

It is? What did he mean?

“Ms. Liar, you’re terrible at handling hangnails!”

Oh.

Surprised, I looked back to see Karin glaring daggers at Mary.

“Waaah!” Mary cried out.

“Do not ‘waaah’ me,” Karin reprimanded her. “You should take this subtle pain more seriously!”

“Waaah!!!”

“Ms. Saint was very thorough when healing my hangnail!”

“W-Waaah... Urk... R-Rejuvenate!”

“Don’t heal so sloppily! Do you not understand how serious hangnails are?!”

“Eyaaagh!”

Karin glared coldly at Mary, who was now wailing like she’d regressed to infancy. The children who had come with Karin seemed very frightened by both her fury and Mary’s loud cries.

I mean, even I’m a little spooked...

Though I’d gotten a vague sense of Karin’s feelings about hangnails before, I hadn’t known they ran so deep. Had I done an even remotely inadequate job when we first met, she might’ve directed that towering rage at me. I was glad to have taken it seriously!

One of the priests flanking Mary’s booth noticed me and walked over, smiling. “Ah, Saint Evelyn! Good day! Are you enjoying the Summer of Evelyn Festival?”

“Y-Yes, largely,” I stammered with a nod.

“Mary Safka is a terrible criminal, convicted of impersonating a saint,” the priest explained solemnly. “She has been sentenced to community service through healing magic for the next several years.”

I nodded again. “Oh, so that’s why...”

Even through Karin’s reprimands, Mary genuinely seemed to be trying very hard to practice healing magic. Hangnails were all she could heal right now, but with enough training, perhaps she’d someday be able to do more.

Though we were never really close. I don’t think it’s my place to encourage her...

Mary and I had different mothers and were quite far apart in age. When a girl had appeared at the Grand Basilica one day claiming to be my sister, I’d been truly happy—even if all she’d wanted was to mock me for being forgotten by our family, who were treating me as their personal cash cow. I’d nevertheless been so happy that my sister had come to see me.

Because our parents never once stopped by!

“By the way, what are my parents up to?” I asked the priest.

He smiled broadly. “They are now in a faraway country.”

“A faraway country? Really?”

“Indeed,” he confirmed vaguely, his expression ambiguous. “Far, far away.”

I tilted my head. “Um, which country, exactly...?”

The priest smiled and, as if to emphasize the point, said, “A faraway country you wouldn’t know the name of, Saint Evelyn.”

Even my not particularly sharp intuition was screaming at me, Okay, don’t probe any more than that!

“L-Lord Theodore,” I stammered, grabbing his arm, “let’s go check out the next event!”

“Huh?! Oh! Yes, of course!” he replied, flustered.

I didn’t have the composure to worry about his reaction as we started walking.

“Oh, that’s quite a crowd over there!” I remarked.

“Y-Yes, indeed. Shall we go see?” he asked.

“I wonder where Kira and Lord Jackson went. It’ll be hard to find them in this crowd...”

Granted, Kira was quiet, but Lord Jackson, despite his age, would indubitably be making a scene. Perhaps it wouldn’t be that difficult to spot them.

As we headed toward the crowd, Lord Theodore said, “L-Lady Evelyn? Um...”

“Yes?”

“My arm...”

I froze, looked at his arm, and jerked away vigorously. “Gah!”

Indeed, in the position I was at, it looked like I was pressing my chest to Lord Theodore’s arm. My desperation to leave had made me careless! How indecent I’d been!

I frantically shook my head and waved my hands to deny any suspicions of impropriety. “N-No, no! I’m not a pervert, I swear!”

“Pervert...!”

“I didn’t intend to engage in anything untoward! Honest!”

“Untoward...!”

Every time Lord Theodore echoed my words and groaned, more bystanders turned to look at us.

“Pervert!”

“Untoward!”

“Oh dear, she said ‘pervert’!”

“There’s an untoward pervert here?!”

“Wait, the pervert is untoward?!”

I shrank smaller and smaller. Everyone’s repeating it!

Lord Theodore gently took my hands and lifted them to eye level, entwining our fingers.

I looked up at him in confusion. What was he trying to do?

“Ah, my apologies,” he said. “I was so happy that you’d taken my arm like that...”

“Wha...?”

“If you wouldn’t mind, um, doing so a bit longer... I would be even more elated.”

Wh-What the heck?!

He was blushing! Smiling sweetly! How could any woman in this world refuse him? They couldn’t!

I couldn’t.

Actually, I...want to be the only one he ever says things like that to, my foolish brain realized. I shook my head to dispel the thought.

“Um,” I said, “maybe we could just hold hands for now?”

Lord Theodore seemed disappointed for a moment, then beamed brilliantly. “I would be elated to hold hands with you.”

It took me a while, but then it hit me—he had tricked me! Masterfully.

But...maybe it was okay to let him do that. Just a little.

***

What the...

I stood there, my mouth agape at the scene before me.

Prince Oz had mentioned he’d wanted to hold “title matches” in my name, and I’d wondered what kind of tournament he’d meant. But I couldn’t possibly have imagined the kind of match taking place in the arena below us—one of only two in the whole country.

“I love Saint Evelyn more!”

“No, I do! My love is greater than your fists!”

“I love you, Saint Evelyn! Marry me!”

“A man can’t just jump straight into marriage! That’s insane! Be friends first!”

What is happening...?

Not ten, not twenty, but countless men were brawling and shouting at one another. Each had his own weapon—brass knuckles, chain sickles, staves, swords, axes... But what were they doing, exactly? I couldn’t tell at all.

Fallen people were heaped on the ground, and the audience was cheering.

“Wow, this year’s SEBLT is on fire!” a man seated next to me said excitedly.

“Bacon lettuce tomato?” I blurted out.

The man gave me a surprised look. “No, no. It’s short for Saint Evelyn’s Battling Lovers Tournament, obviously. Everyone knows that.”

Do they?!

When I looked at Lord Theodore on the other side of me, he was nodding sagely at the man’s words.

They do!

“Um, what kind of competition is the, ah, SEBLT? Those people just look like they’re beating each other up...”

The man sighed deeply. “I can’t believe you’d call this noble sport ‘beating each other up’! You’re rather barbaric for such a pretty young lady.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

The man collected himself and explained, “The SEBLT is a tournament where people pour their unending love for Saint Evelyn into their swords, fists, and magic, then beat their love rivals into submission.”

That’s not beating each other up?!

“This year there were so many contestants that they’ve split the preliminaries into four blocks, with one winner from each block advancing to the semifinals.”

“How many contestants are there?”

“Four hundred, even after using a lottery system to narrow it down by a ton.”

My vision went dark. F-Four hundred...

How could four hundred people participate in such a ridiculous event? I was in complete disbelief!

At a distance, I spotted what appeared to be a group of foreign dignitaries sitting in the VIP section, with Prince Oz beside them. I had pretty good eyesight, so I could somewhat read the prince’s lips.

“Why—is—this—happening,” I read. Yes, I know exactly how Your Highness feels...

By the time the first block’s melee reached its conclusion, I was starting to feel dizzy, and so, it seemed, was the prince. A man sitting in the announcer’s booth grabbed the microphone and, in an excited, high-pitched voice, introduced the next block’s contestants. Thanks to the magical sound-amplifying device, his booming cries could be clearly heard across the entire venue.

“And now for Block B’s most anticipated contestant! Loudly declaring her feelings for Saint Evelyn since her mother’s womb, this beautiful young lady stampedes down the path of love with mad devotion! Wearing an outfit adorned with Saint Evelyn’s very own mud, iiit’s Europaaa Catéee!”

The crowd cheered uproariously.

Gallantly walking into the arena, basking in the clamoring, was...

“I shall claw out every last one of your hearts! Kindly prepare to meet your maker!”

...Lady Europa (mud ver.), raising her middle fingers and spouting statements completely unbecoming of a noblewoman.

“Lady Europa,” the announcer said, “murder is prohibited under tournament rules!”

“Oh, worry not! I’ll use my magic to heal them! Not that I can do that if they’re dead!”

Despite her utterly outrageous behavior and words, Lady Europa’s valor had the crowd in a frenzy.

“Lady Europa sure is popular,” I muttered.

“She is,” Lord Theodore confirmed. “Europa is known throughout the country as Evelynity’s most fanatical zealot.”

What the heck is Evelynity?

But I couldn’t bring myself to probe any further. My brain was already at the limit of its processing power.

It was then that I saw another familiar face among the contestants of Block B and snapped to my feet.

“Kira!” Why is he participating?!

Had someone made him do it?

And he wasn’t the only one! Upon closer inspection, I saw not only Lady Europa (+ mud) and the reluctant-looking Kira but also the high priest vigorously swinging his staff, Prince Igna holding his nose, other priests, and... Wait. I knew all of those people!

At that moment, almost as if sensing my question, the announcer explained, “Block B features only those who have laid eyes upon Saint Evelyn! This may as well be the finals, ladies and gentlemen!”

Murmurs began to rise from the audience.

“They saw Saint Evelyn?!”

“Ugh! I’m so jealous!”

“If I gouged out the eyeballs of the weakest-looking guy there and pocketed them, would that count as laying eyes on her, you think...?”

A chill ran down my spine. Eek!

“Hmm... Maybe I should participate, just to make a point,” came an unbelievable mutter next to me.

I pinched Lord Theodore’s arm.

“Ow! L-Lady Evelyn...?”

“Absolutely, definitively, do not do something so dangerous!” I snapped.

“But as the man who’s proposed to you, I can’t just quietly sit here and— Ow! I mean, it doesn’t really hurt, but...!”

“I’d much prefer it if you didn’t get hurt over something so pointless!”

“Pointless,” he echoed, stunned.

But at least he gave up on his last-minute participation attempt. While that was a relief, I was still terribly worried about Kira down in the arena. If he got hurt...

I clasped my hands. Kira, just run! Ugh, where’s Lord Jackson and why didn’t he stop this?!

“I don’t get it,” Kira muttered with a sour expression. He was very, very quiet, but the arena seemed to be outfitted with microphones, so I could hear him clearly even from this distance.

He looked around at all the puzzled Block B participants.

“Evelyn would be scared of you violent thugs.”

“Ngh!” all the Block B participants groaned in unison, collapsing backward.

Then Kira looked at the audience. “And she doesn’t like this kind of fighting either.”

When he added that I was anxious and a crybaby, even the spectators all crumpled at once.

Immediately, sobs and apologetic cries began to echo from every direction.

“I can’t believe how shallow and selfish we are, thinking only about slaughtering our opponents...!” Lady Europa lamented.

“That boy is right!” the high priest said. “When Saint Evelyn saw me nearly dead after tumbling down the stairs, she was so sad!” He sobbed openly. “What have I done?!”

Lady Europa joined the high priest in weeping. Nobody seemed concerned about appearances.

I’m not sure what’s happening, but...they seem contrite, I guess...?

Kira’s words seemed to have temporarily restored their collective sanity. Good! I breathed a sigh of relief.

The announcer, still shouting, was also sniffling.

“I-I’m afraid only Kira and Prince Igna are still standing, so it’s down to a one-on-one between them!” He sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Saint Evelyn...”

Kira and Prince Igna both sighed.

“I just wanna go home already,” Kira muttered.

“Same. I’m not interested in Evelyn or whoever.”

At Prince Igna’s words, the somewhat relaxed atmosphere of the venue instantly turned murderous.

“Your Highness,” Lady Europa whispered as she slowly stood up. “Now you, I cannot possibly understand.”

Her aggressive tone seemed to echo the feelings of the entire crowd, but Prince Igna had no situational awareness whatsoever and was bashfully rubbing under his nose.

“Your verbal abuse is all I ever think of,” he said.

“I’ll crush that useless brain and feed it to sewer rats!”

“Ngh...!”

Prince Igna fell to his knees and a red puddle began to form around him.

Lady Europa continued mercilessly, “Yes, even the poor sewer rats, left with no choice but to eat Your Highness’s nasty brain, would have reverence for Saint Evelyn in their hearts. You’re garbage. You’re worse than sewer rats. Trash! Scum, filth, gnat, vermin!”

“Yes! More! Disparage me, Europa...!”

From the VIP seats, Prince Oz was mouthing, “Why are my brothers like this?”

I quietly lowered my gaze. He had my condolences.

But then shocking statements came from the arena.

“Oh...? Is that Saint Evelyn’s scent I detect on the wind?” Lady Europa asked.

“So you noticed too, Rupy,” the high priest said. “I can sense Saint Evelyn’s magical power nearby...”

The two were rabid, their wide eyes searching everywhere. Oh no!

“Lord Theodore, we must run!” I said, pulling his arm.

We fled from our seats at breakneck speed.

***

After Lord Theodore and I escaped from the arena, it was almost time for my ceremony, so we returned to the Grand Basilica. I changed into the robes again in the dressing room, and while I waited for my turn, Prince Oz came to visit me.

With a cheerful smile, he complimented me effusively, but I’ll skip that part because it was way too embarrassing.

All this consideration makes me feel guilty! I thought, forcing an awkward smile.

Prince Oz sent everyone away, then bowed deeply to me.

“Saint Evelyn, I should’ve done this sooner. I apologize on my brother’s behalf. I know full well that an apology won’t make it right, but I really am very sorry...”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for that, Prince Oz.”

“But I stood by, unable to stop my brother’s foolish actions! My brother is such a...stupid piece of crap!” the prince growled, blood dripping from his trembling fist.

I paled. “Prince Oz?!”

When he noticed my shock, he hid his fist behind his back and faked a smile. “Ah, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

“You’re clearly not!” I protested.

I went behind him and gently caught his fist. I wasn’t sure whether this was disrespectful, but he’d have to forgive me! This was an emergency!

“Saint Evelyn?!”

I’d been about to cast Rejuvenate on the bewildered prince when I reconsidered and decided to try my specialty spell instead.

“Diagnose.”

As I chanted the analysis spell, several dark-red orbs emerged from the wounds where his nails had dug in. I absorbed them into my own body and fidgeted nervously, wondering if he, like Kira, would call them gross.

Instead, he just watched in silence, eyes wide.

Well, that helped. Slowly, I traced through his memories up to this point.

Now, let’s see... Alex, the crown prince. Right. Alex, the crown...prick? Clown prick?! What the heck?!

Prince Oz’s recent memories had been completely taken over by the evolution of his brother’s title. Flashes of Prince Alex’s dumb face, laughing and crying, trampled through every single memory with enough force to destroy Prince Oz’s brain.

Had he been living like this?

This much suffering would drive anyone insane. How had he been managing on his own all this time? The image of his haggard figure, sitting in his wheelchair and muttering, floated to my mind.

Also, what’s this about a “Saint Inviolability Pact”? Sham saint? Idolatry? And there’s Mary’s execution...

Other faces joined Prince Alex’s disembodied head: Prince Igna’s, the high priest’s, Mary’s... Like a swarm of insects, all crawling around as they pleased, all buzzing as they devoured Prince Oz’s prodigious brain.

I concentrated and listened carefully.

“Diiiiiiieeeee!”

“First of all, she’s not a girl anymore. She’s twenty-eight this year, an old hag way past marriageab— Gwuh!”

“Clown Prick. The high priest might be a genius.”

“Did you just make a phallic joke at the expense of your prince?! That’s lèse-majesté!”

“I’ll kill them! No, I’ll boil them in a pot first so they suffer horribly, then kill them!”

“I see! You’re taken with me, aren’t you?!”

“Saint Evelyn is my granddaughter!”

“Ah, what a beguiling woman I am, fought over by two princes!”

My goodness! This is awful!

A cacophony of jumbled memories reverberated in the most chaotic mess I’d ever seen.

This poor thing!!!

Tears gushed from my eyes. Prince Oz noticed and immediately offered me a spotless handkerchief. What a mensch. He was nothing like his brothers.

“Th-Thank you very much,” I mumbled, sniffling.

“Saint Evelyn, why are you crying?”

“You’re so young, so handsome, and still you’ve suffered so much,” I lamented.

Sniffling, I chanted the Rejuvenate spell at last, and Prince Oz’s wounds closed fully.

When he thanked me, I couldn’t stay silent. In a trembling voice, I said, “Your Highness, stand proud. You’re a sane and admirable man. The only one of the princes who can claim that, in fact.”

“I’m...the only one...?”

“The people of the Holy Kingdom of Snasile are fortunate to have such a marvelous prince!”

“I’m...sane. And marvelous...” Prince Oz repeated, his eyes growing bright. “Thank you, Saint Evelyn. I feel like I’ve finally awakened from a terrible nightmare.”

“Prince Oz...”

“Our country was blessed to have you as its saint—beautiful, kind, a light that chases away the darkness.”

I was momentarily speechless at his intelligent gaze and demeanor. Ah, this feeling... Yes, I recognize it now. This is what it feels like to be in the presence of an exceptionally rational person!

The only other person I’d ever met who was on the same wavelength as Prince Oz was Kira.

Prince Oz brought a hand to his chest and smiled. “Thank you for your efforts for our nation,” he continued. “May your future path be blessed.”

Oh. My heart. I wasn’t sure how to properly respond to royalty, but...I figured I should speak from the heart.

“I shall pray for your happiness as well, Prince Oz.”

“You shall?” He seemed surprised. The prince’s brow softened, and he said, “I am fortunate indeed to have such an extraordinary saint praying for me.”

Really! I want you to be actually happy! From the bottom of my heart, I prayed with all my might to the Mother Goddess. May his path be blessed with more marvelously sane people!

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” the prince said, beaming. “Saint Evelyn, there are people waiting to meet you.”

“People? Are they crazy too?”

“They are not,” he assured me sympathetically. “You must’ve suffered a great deal...”

Not as much as him.

“I know I am the brother of the man who treated you so cruelly, but...Saint Evelyn, would you allow me to escort you this once?”

His Highness would be personally guiding me to these not-crazy people, apparently. I had no reason to hesitate, though, and nodded.

“Yes. Gladly.”

I lowered the thin white veil over my face and gently took Prince Oz’s hand.

***

“Are you ready, Saint Evelyn?” the head priest asked.

The grand finale of the Summer of Evelyn festival involved the saint herself—meaning, me—performing one final ceremony before passing on the role to Lady Europa. Hours ago, part of the Grand Basilica had been opened to the public, and countless people had flooded in. The seats arranged around the basilica’s massive square, the Stargazing Plaza, were all taken.

A few hours ago, Prince Oz had led me here. This was where prayer ceremonies were typically performed during festivals, so having a crowd here wasn’t unusual. But today, perhaps because it would be my retirement ceremony, there were even more attendees.

As I looked at the center of the plaza, where I would walk out in a few minutes, I thought, Khattar, Dominim, Rinma, Auracuna, Tarinyan...

Dignitaries from other countries were waiting there for me. Earlier, they’d expressed profound gratitude for my deeds. According to their unanimous feedback—

My power hasn’t weakened at all...

In the days leading up to my exile from the Grand Basilica, I’d increasingly experienced weakness and dizziness during prayer rituals. I’d assumed this was because my power had weakened, as Prince Alex had said. But apparently, that wasn’t the case; my health’s worsening had coincided with a sharp decrease in miasma outbreaks in foreign countries.

According to Prince Oz, I was not only dispelling miasma from Snasile but from other nations collectively.

Other countries had their own versions of saints, so I’d always believed I only needed to protect the kingdom where I’d been born and raised. But it seemed that without me realizing it, my power had pushed past our borders and begun to purify not only our neighbors but distant foreign lands as well. This feat was unprecedented for a saint, and it was a miracle that the only effect on me had been some tiredness.

Now that I think about it, I wonder how unsafe that was for me to do? And without even realizing...

But in the end, the result had been that I’d protected people’s homes. Knowing that made me very happy.

The envoys had prepared expensive gifts as tribute to me, but I’d asked them to donate them to orphanages and poorhouses. Instead, I’d made one request for myself.

“Please attend my final ceremony,” I’d said, then asked them to return to their countries only after seeing the new saint.

Slowly, I bowed to the high priest and the other priests, who had watched over me for so long.

“Your Eminence. Everyone. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Saint Evelyn...”

Tears welled in their eyes.

Though I planned to hide my face with a veil later, I couldn’t afford to start crying myself. But...my eyes nevertheless grew hot.

“I thought you all wanted to keep your distance from me,” I admitted.

“Oh, Saint Evelyn! No, never...!”

“Right, the Saint Inviolability Pact. You stayed away because of that,” I said. I’d learned of the term while glimpsing Prince Oz’s memories.

For some reason, their tearful eyes suddenly turned murderous.

“What’s the meaning of this?!”

“Who was it?! Who told Saint Evelyn about our secret pact?!”

“Come forward now and we’ll spare your life!”

“No! Be grateful all we’ll do is take your life!”

Huh? Why is the atmosphere hostile all of a sudden?

“Um...?” I said.

“A-Ah, it’s nothing, Saint Evelyn!”

“Look, the people are waiting! You should go to the plaza soon!”

“Yes! Leave rooting out and exterminating the traitor to us!”

Wait, what was that? Actually... Yes, it was time, so I could worry about the rest later.

“I’ll be going, then.”

I lowered my veil and stepped out onto the plaza, ceremonial staff in hand. The murmurs from the seated crowds gradually quieted as they saw me emerge, and soon the plaza was almost completely silent.

Underneath the starry sky that gave the plaza its name, with the hem of my long ceremonial robes dragging behind me, I continued toward the center. My face was hidden by a long white veil that reached all the way to the ground. I could see people’s faces, but they couldn’t see mine at all.

The saint must never show her face to the children of the earth...

Because the saint’s duty was to commune with the Mother Goddess in heaven and embody Her will, she could not be close to the people. I’d been taught as much early on. And it was precisely because I knew this that I boldly flipped the veil over my head.

This is my last ceremony, after all!

In my very last prayer ritual, I wanted to look directly at each attendee’s face rather than through a veil. After twenty-three years of hard work, surely I could be allowed this bit of selfishness.

A great stir arose among those who recognized me.

“What?! Ms. Angel!”

“It’s her! She was the saint?!”

The elementary school students from the capital yelled and squealed one after another as I waved at them, waving back with flushed cheeks. Karin was among them, and when our eyes met, she smiled and gave a small wave of her own.

It wasn’t just the children getting excited either. Standing at the front were Lord Theodore, Kira, Lord Jackson and his wife, and behind them, all the others I’d encountered. The innkeeper who’d hosted Kira and me, the inn’s cook, the servants of the Manilas mansion, the cheerful people of Semme...

I smiled and waved energetically as they all watched over me.

Which is probably not very saintlike of me!

Finally, I reached the altar at the center of the plaza and clasped my hands. I closed my eyes and prayed from the bottom of my heart, performing the ritual to dispel miasma and fulfilling a saint’s foremost, absolute duty.

May the world be at peace. May the world be at peace. May the world be at peace.

Overthinking often led to mistakes—this was also one of the first things I’d been taught. So, during rituals, I made it a habit to chant a simple mantra in my heart over and over.

May there be familial harmony, safe childbirths, employee benefits, uproarious laughter, harmonious friendship...

The more I prayed, the brighter the golden light enveloping my body became. Sighs of admiration rose from the crowd—the light dwelled not only in me but in the bodies of all present. Each person shone like a star, turning the square into a scene from a mystical fairy realm.

Even with my eyes closed, I could clearly envision the sight.

After several minutes of prayer, I slowly opened my eyes. It’s been a little while, but...yes, I think that went well!

I felt slightly dizzy as I descended from the altar.

From the opposite entrance, Lady Europa approached. She wore ceremonial robes similar in design to mine and looked absolutely stunning—but after she removed her veil like I had, I could see her cheeks were wet and her shoulders were trembling.

I couldn’t help but speak to her. “Lady Europa, are you crying?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Prince Oz said I couldn’t come out wearing muddy robes and told me to make do with your old robes. Ah, my heart can’t take it...”

Another wise call by Prince Oz.

“Not only that, my most beloved is retiring tonight,” she said, still weeping.

My eyes widened.

“I’d selfishly hoped such a day would never come. Surely others had as well. But...”

I pulled Lady Europa into a tight embrace.

“Saint Evelyn...?!”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet your expectations,” I told her. “And I’m sorry to push such a difficult role on you.”

She froze for a moment, then let out a soft laugh. Playfully, she said, “Oh, Saint Evelyn, I told you before. Following in my idol’s footsteps is the ultimate honor.”

Perhaps she was trying to reassure me. I could feel how much she cared about me.

Though she’s really, really weird...

We’d only just met recently, but that much was completely obvious.

Actually, I was getting worried. Lady Europa was the kind of girl who delighted in having my bog mud on her clothes. Was it really okay for me to hug her like this? Was my chastity at risk?

“Sorry to bring it up, but...you’re not going to go crazy again, right?” I asked nervously.

Lady Europa pouted. “How rude! My love for you is very rational.”

It... It is?! That was somehow even scarier.

Despite my fear, she continued, “I shall treasure the fact you took me into your arms in front of everyone. I have my happily ever after.”

“Could you maybe not phrase it as ‘taking you into my arms’?”

“I shall treasure the fact we became one in the eyes of the public...”

Letting my guard down simply wouldn’t do. I silently pulled away, despite the noticeable displeasure in her face as she clicked her tongue.

But she soon grew serious, remembering her duty.

After making sure she was serious serious, I handed the staff—the proof of sainthood—to her. She took it with a smile and held it up toward the people, who cheered effusively.

“I shall do my very beeest. I shall work as hard as I possibly caaan. Hip hip hooraaay.”

That delivery could not have been any flatter!

As I worried about her perfunctory response, I looked at the front seats. Lord Theodore and Kira were both there, lips slightly upturned. When I smiled back, Lord Theodore mouthed something, and I tried to read his lips.

Let’s see... What’s he saying...?

Perhaps trying to be very clear, Lord Theodore was opening his mouth wide, the movements slow and deliberate. It was very easy to understand.

You’ve—done—a—great—job.

At that moment, far more tears than I’d expected began to run down my cheeks. I quickly hid my face with the veil again—tears didn’t suit such a joyous occasion, after all.

Amid the endless, thunderous applause, I felt the burden of twenty-three years finally lift from my shoulders.

Epilogue: How Do I Say This?

The Summer of Evelyn festival had been a resounding success.

Three days later, I was preparing to return to Semme with Lord Theodore. Lord Jackson had been invited to go hunting with an old friend, so Kira had tagged along. Lady Manilas and Karin had already returned to their territory.

Having finished packing my few belongings, I was beside myself with worry.

Should I really go back to Semme with Lord Theodore like this...?

He had proposed to me, after all. I’d yet to give him a response. I couldn’t just keep freeloading off House Manilas while ignoring his feelings.

I asked Kira and he just asked me what I wanted to do...

I hadn’t been able to give a good answer. Any attempts at thinking meant Lord Theodore’s smiling face would flash through my mind. My emotions would start swirling, my heart would grow loud, and...as a result, for the past three days, I hadn’t so much as been able to look at Lord Theodore properly, even when he was standing right there.

Standing right there...?

“Eek!”

I jerked back in surprise. Lord Theodore was, in fact, standing right there.

“My apologies,” he said. “I knocked several times but got no answer.”

“N-No, no, I’m the one who’s sorry!” I stammered, flustered. “I was lost in thought...”

He’d come to check on me since I wasn’t leaving my chambers.

“Would you like to step out onto the balcony?” he asked.

I nodded repeatedly.

Thanks to Prince Oz’s generosity, I’d been staying in a guest room at the royal palace these past few days. The balcony oversaw a magnificent garden, and I leaned against the railing to gaze at the lovely scenery alongside Lord Theodore.

I did my best to pretend I was calmly admiring the flowers, but my composure had left me entirely, and my head was spinning.

Come on, Evelyn! You have to say something!

I wasn’t sure whether I could put my thoughts into words just yet, but I still wanted to convey them.

“Um, Lord Theodor—”

“So, His Highness Prince Alex surprised me last night,” he said with the worst timing ever.

I couldn’t change topics now, so I just nodded. “Yes.”

Last night, Prince Oz had hosted a small feast that doubled as my farewell party and a celebration of Lady Europa’s inauguration as saint. I’d been there, as had Lady Europa, Kira, Lord Theodore, Lord Jackson, Prince Igna, and the priests from the Grand Basilica—it had been truly a gathering for close friends only. Or, well, close “friends,” in some cases.

Since the host was a royal, the feast had been held in the palace’s central hall, with a grand selection of luxurious foods and a band playing elegant music. I wasn’t good with alcohol, so I’d stuck to sipping fruit juice with Kira.

Between trying to avoid getting splattered by Prince Igna’s nosebleeds, trying to stop Lord Jackson from belly dancing, trying to restrain the high priest from performing curse rituals, and trying to escape Lady Europa’s attempts at securing suspicious commitments from me, eighty percent of my night had been...fraught. But the other twenty percent or so had been very enjoyable indeed.

Prince Alex had actually not been invited at all.

“Never in a million years would I have expected him to burst in shouting, ‘Someone please take a photo with me!’” Lord Theodore said.

Apparently, Prince Alex had continued to operate his photo booth even after the festival. But with his enormous princely ego shattered and only the cries of crickets breaking the silence in the booth, he’d taken to wandering the palace in hopes of finding someone to take a photo with. That was how he’d ended up at our lively banquet venue.

But Prince Oz, without even sparing him a glance, had mercilessly ordered the knights to drag him away.

Also, Mary had apparently set out on a “hangnail-healing journey.” Maybe Karin’s stern scolding had gotten through to her?

Maybe Prince Alex will set out on a photo-partner-finding journey...

But at least Prince Oz was extraordinarily competent. Things would probably work out somehow.

“I hope Prince Alex finds someone to take a photo with besides you, someday,” I mused with a wry smile.

“Lady Evelyn,” Lord Theodore said, lowering his voice. When I looked up, he seemed extremely tense. “There’s something I must ask.”

“Y-Yes? What is it?” I asked, straightening my posture.

It hit me that he was probably about to ask for a response to his proposal.

Of course he would, I thought. I should’ve brought it up myself...

Seemingly not noticing my pensiveness, Lord Theodore stared at me intently and silently for several seconds.

Then, “Are you still in love with Prince Alex?”

I stared at him, dumbfounded. I’m sorry, what?

“I thought so...!” he muttered bitterly.

What? What’s he thinking?

“Back during the festival, Lady Evelyn, you wanted to take a photo with him, didn’t you?”

“I... Well, yes.”

It was true that I’d thought it might be fun to take a photo to use as kindling for roasting yams.

“You kept staring at him as well. Upon seeing that, I realized your heart still belongs to that man.”

What is he saying? His incomprehensible deductions were testing my patience. But then I realized something. Oh! This is what he meant when he muttered, like, “Could it be you still...”

He must’ve mistakenly thought that I still had feelings for the prince.

Exasperated, I asked quietly, “Did you share that deduction with anyone else?”

“Huh? Oh, I told Kira and Europa. And the high priest overheard.”

“And what did the three of them say?”

Lord Theodore looked up as though tracing his memory. “Umm, Kira sighed and left with my father. Europa asked, ‘Are you trying to get me to kill you?’ and attempted to attack me. But then the high priest whispered something to her, and she smiled and said, ‘Yes, you’re absolutely correct! Too bad you have not a shred of a chance with her, Lord Theodore! Poor you!’”

“Lord Theodore, you really are a bumbling detective,” I said, meaning it with all my heart.

“B-Bumbling?!” he echoed, stunned as though I’d just said something outrageous.

Indignantly, I continued, “What do you mean, ‘still in love’?! I was never in love with him in the first place!”

“You...weren’t?”

“Of course not! That man summoned me over just so I’d see him cheating on me with my sister!”

Lord Theodore gave me a pained look, and the atmosphere turned gloomy in an instant.

Frantically, I waved my hands. “Not that I care about that anymore! It was a year ago!”

“You’re lying, aren’t you?”

I froze.

“There’s no way you could just forget your fiancé doing something so terrible to you. You’re a kind woman, so you may not have assigned blame, but...surely you were hurt.”

I couldn’t say anything.

“Had I been your betrothed, I never would’ve hurt you in that way.”

Ah!

His blue-gray eyes had a serious glint to them. Seeing such earnest emotion made my heart pound.

“I would’ve had eyes for you only. I would’ve treasured you and you alone.”

“L-Lord Theodore...”

He brought a palm to my face, stroking my hair and cheek. His words, his tender touch, it all left me a flustered mess. I wanted to hide my reddening face, but the sensation of his hand on my skin was so pleasant I simply couldn’t turn away.

Trembling slightly, I somehow managed to speak. “U-Um, about, about your proposal...”

Lord Theodore’s eyes widened expectantly. “Ah...”

And then he was forcefully shoved aside.

“Waugh!”

Down he went over the railing.

“Lord Theodore!”

Before I could look below, someone moved forward to block my view. “Phew! Goodness me, I made it in time!”

Lady Europa, who had just unceremoniously pushed someone over the railing right in front of me, was dabbing at the sweat on her forehead with a handkerchief, a cheerful smile on her face.

At her feet lay a stern-faced man. “Europa! I don’t mind neglect role-play, but some abuse would be nice!”

“Oh, Prince Igna. How long have you been there?”

“Ngh! Simple is best!”

His nose gushing blood, Prince Igna crashed through the railing and fell headfirst down below—where several familiar voices immediately echoed all at once.

“We firmly oppose impure opposite-sex relationships, Lady Evelyn!”

“That’s right! You are but an innocent princess!”

“We shall protect you, now and always! Be at ease!”

I’m...twenty-eight, though...

I stood there, dumbfounded at the high priest and the others clamoring my name.

“Your Eminence, everyone, I cannot yield that duty to you!” declared Lord Theodore, apparently caught in the hedge directly below the balcony.

He was helping Prince Igna down to the ground. Surrounded by priests, he seemed to have no avenue of escape.

Still, he shouted boldly, “Whether against one or a hundred foes, I...!”

“Oh, Lord Theodore, don’t be silly, now! You’re severely underestimating the number of foes you have! All of the people of Snasile—nay, the world—worship Lady Evelyn! They’re all your enemies!” Europa took out her fan and gave a villainous laugh. “Oh ho ho ho!”

Looking up at me, and me alone, with those beautiful eyes, Lord Theodore said, “Lady Evelyn, could you tell me what you were going to say earlier?”

My eyes widened. Despite everything, he was smiling.

“I love you. How do you feel about me?” he asked.

“I...” Do I have to say it in front of all these people?

Still, that somehow felt very much like us. I took a deep breath, cupped my hands around my mouth, and shouted as loud as I could.

“I-I...lub you too, Lord Theodore!!!”

“!!!”

Nooo! I messed up the most important part!

Everyone, Lord Theodore included, was frozen in place for some reason.

Too embarrassed to correct myself, I frantically added, “I’m still not sure I really understand this feeling, but...! I’m pretty sure I wuv lub you!”

“!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Aaaaaaugh! I’m such an idiot! I messed up again!

“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

And then Lady Europa and the priests dropped one after another, letting out screams that were somewhere between a newborn’s cries and a dying man’s shrieks.

I rushed over to check on Lady Europa—who had cleverly fallen into a posture of prayer—and saw she was quietly shedding tears.

“Lady Europa?”

“I have exploded from the preciousness,” she muttered. “Farewell, O beloved world where Lady Evelyn was born...”

She’s spouting nonsense again...

I moved the frozen Lady Europa to the safety of the guest room.

Lord Theodore’s voice rang out from below. “Lady Evelyn! Please come down!”

I peeked over the balcony and saw him waving. Before I could answer, I froze. He had his arms spread wide.

“What?! You want me to jump down there?!”

“Yes! I want to embrace you!”

The shamelessness had me speechless. Also, this was the third floor! It was quite a drop! He might’ve been used to falling from such heights, but it would be a first for me!

“Don’t be afraid,” he said with a reassuring smile. “I’ll catch you.”

It wasn’t that I doubted him, of course. This was just a little terrifying. Wh-What should I do?!

“I can give you a push, if you want.”

“Kira...”

He was standing behind me, expressionless as always. Old me would’ve asked him for help, but...

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I think I can handle falling by myself.”

“All right. Just...be careful, then.”

“Y-Yes. I will.”

“Don’t fall in a weird position. Don’t go headfirst; that’s dangerous. Oh, and that broken railing there is sharp, so be mindful. Don’t get your shoulder scraped,” he advised.

“O-Okay. Thank you.”

Nervously, I jumped down. My robes billowed out. My eyes were shut tight.

But before I could feel fear, Lord Theodore easily caught me.

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes—and there he was. Right up close. His smile was jubilant.

“You really are light as a feather,” he said.

“Then catch me forever,” I whispered.

“Yeah,” he replied, dropping the polite speech. He was beaming radiantly as he nodded. “You got it, Evelyn.”

I smiled back, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

Side Story: Haven’t I Seen This in a Book Cover Somewhere?

“Lady Evelyn! Welcome!”

“Hello, Lady Europa.”

“Thank you so much for indulging my selfish request despite your busy schedule.”

Beneath the gentle sunlight, Lady Europa stood before a magnificent photo studio located in the royal capital. She’d only just been chosen as the new saint and was already seeking my advice.

“I want emotional support to get through my new duties,” she’d told me timidly. “A framed photo with you hung in my private chambers at the Grand Basilica would surely give me the courage I need.”

I hadn’t been able to refuse. Maybe this is similar to that photo Lord Theodore took with Prince Alex... Though I figured it wouldn’t be appropriate for us to pose shoulder to shoulder like they had.

Since I’d moved to the Grand Basilica at only five years of age, I had no memory of ever taking photos with family. I was actually looking forward to today a bit.

“But why is Lord Theodore here too?” Lady Europa asked. “I don’t recall inviting anyone else.”

“I was worried about Lady Evelyn,” he retorted sullenly.

Kira should’ve come too, but Lord Jackson had taken him on a horseback ride to somewhere far away. I missed him already.

“I won’t simply let you take a photo with just her, of course,” he declared. “I’ll be in it too.”

“Ugh! You’re so inconvenient! Be grateful there are no streams nearby!” Lady Europa grumbled.

With nowhere nearby for him to fall into if she pushed him, Lord Theodore seemed bolder than usual. Lady Europa was baring her teeth and growling at him like an animal, but upon noticing me staring, her expression reverted to pure doe-eyed cuteness.

She guided us into the building, saying, “This way, Lady Evelyn!”

We passed through a hall decorated with many family photos and arrived at the studio proper. Dazzling lights illuminated the interior, and an elderly man—the owner, apparently—bowed to us from beside a large magical device known as a camera. The booth was fully set up, and several similar ones were lined up alongside ours.

I tilted my head.

Our booth had a king-sized bed covered in pure-white sheets. Rose petals, provocatively scattered, lay on top. I could smell sweet incense as well.

This...is not what I imagined.

The atmosphere was a little, shall I say, enticing?

“Um, Lady Europa? What is this?” I asked.

“I designed the staging with you in mind,” she replied, enraptured. “I figured vivid, passionate reds would highlight your ethereal silver hair, porcelain skin, and white clothes. Hee hee hee!”

My shoulders were gently pushed, and I stumbled backward onto the soft sheets. “Oof!”

Though I tried to get up immediately, Lady Europa pressed down to stop me. Her long locks brushed against my cheek, and she laughed playfully. I noticed her lips getting closer, and...then her tongue stuck out to lick my eyelid.

Eeeeeeeek?!

I panicked. Never in my life had anyone licked my eyelid.

“W-Wait! Lady Europa, what...?!”

“Oh, Lady Evelyn, I can’t with you,” she said, my name sounding sweet in her heated, breathy tone. “Even while being wary of me, you stay kind...”

Chills ran down my spine as her fingertips stroked my bare shoulder.

“Say, Lady Evelyn,” she breathed, her expression devastatingly seductive, “you wouldn’t protest if something happened...would you?”

M-My chastity! My purity!

At that moment, a voice came from the opposite side, reliably as ever. “Wait, Europa!”

I had no time to feel relieved, however, as Lord Theodore pulled my waist toward him rather forcefully. “Eep!”

His large palm felt hot as it pressed into my skin. His eyes were bloodshot as he gazed at me.

“L-Lord Theodore...?”

I’d thought he was trying to save me, but he looked at me with painful longing, sweat dripping down his forehead.

“Forgive me, Lady Evelyn. You’re just so lovely, I cannot help my impulses...”

“Wh-What are you trying to say...?”

“Please. You must run. Before the stork flies in at breakneck speed.”

“A-A breakneck-speed stork?!”

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he looked absolutely desperate.

I knew it! There’s something weird about this incense!

Both of them had been behaving oddly since we entered the studio. Granted, Lady Europa was odd to begin with, but she would usually say something like, “It would be far too presumptuous of me to touch you, Lady Evelyn,” and not...lick my eyelid.

Wait, no, maybe she would lick my eyelid. Or maybe not? Ugh, I don’t know anything anymore!

“Mweh heh heh,” came a monstrous chuckle from behind me before I could figure anything out. “Mweh heh heh heh heh...”

I gasped and hesitantly looked back, only to find Lady Europa munching on my ceremonial robes. Drool was pouring from her mouth like a sticky waterfall.

“Ahhh... Lady Evelyn, your clothes taste sublime paired with the sweet essence of your eyelid. Truly the ultimate marriage of flavors.”

Eeeeek!

I tried to flee the bugged Lady Europa by lifting my hips, but on my right side, Lord Theodore was huffing and running his hands through his hair. That was very seductive also.

“Lady Evelyn, I told you to run,” he breathed.

“I can’t! I’m not strong enough to break free!” I wailed.

“All right, ready?” asked the old man after he finished adjusting the magical advice.

Ready? Ready for what?

Sandwiched between the two, I could only open and close my mouth like a fish out of water.

“Look at me, Evelyn,” Lord Theodore whispered from my right as he took a lock of my hair and kissed it softly.

“Lady Evelyn, look at me,” Lady Europa said from my left as she munched away and writhed on the sheets.

The photographer proceeded to take shot after shot of us. When I met his gaze through the lens, he gave me a thumbs-up. What part of this deserved a thumbs-up?!

What is happening?! What kind of photo shoot is this?!

I could not handle this anymore and reached toward the heavens for help.

“H-Help! Please, someone...! Anyone...!”

My fading screams of “Save me, Kiraaa!” echoed through the studio.

Afterword

Hello! I’m Harunadon.

Thank you so much to all of you who picked up a copy of this book! The original web novel won the third EARTH STAR NOVEL prize and was picked up for publishing as a result. Let’s call it Beloved Saint for short!

After I found out about the award, I got a phone call. I took notes, so allow me to explain how it went.

Editor: We’d like you to focus primarily on revising the first half of the work for publication.

Me: All right. What should I be aiming for?

Editor: The story is a bit serious in the first half, so we’d like more humor. Of course, that’s hard, since Europa doesn’t appear until the halfway point, but we want to lay the groundwork until she does, ropa.

Me: Eu...

Basically, all we talked about was Europa. Rupy is truly something.

If you’ve already read the book, you know this is essentially a scandalous romantic comedy, so I’m moved beyond words by EARTH STAR’s bold decision! Why did this win, of all things? But I love EARTH STAR for it. Truly, they are the best ever. Yes, I’m a flatterer.

Choosing an illustrator was a difficult process, and my editor messaged me several times to say, “This is a dead end...”

I’m very sorry to have driven you into a dead end!

But thanks to my editor’s arduous efforts, we came upon Kurodeko-sensei’s amazing art, which truly spruced up the story. I can’t count how many times seeing all the cute Evelyns lifted my spirits. Thank you so much.

Both the web and book versions of Beloved Saint conclude for now, but if this book is well received, the story may continue! I’d be delighted if you could support it. I also eagerly await all your fan letters and opinions, greedy gremlin that I am.

I hope to see you all again someday!