Prologue

“It’s settled, then. My safety is in your hands.”

After several beats of silence, I conceded, bowing my head to the unimaginably beautiful woman before me. “Your wish is my command, Your Highness.”

The beauty’s true identity? None other than the crown prince of the kingdom I hailed from.

I’d traveled with him to the West in order to put a stop to the princess’s plan to marry my older brother, and through several strange twists of fate, we’d managed to miraculously put a stop to the marriage. Sure, we’d had to turn her into a crazed BL fangirl to do it, but all’s well that ends well, right?

Okay, maybe “well” is overselling it. I’ll admit it wasn’t my best effort...but it wasn’t half bad either.

Our trip wasn’t over just yet, though. Princess BL had requested our help to deal with a kidnapper who’d recently been menacing high society, and the crown prince and I had been roped into going undercover at the upcoming masquerade ball—as partners.

I know, I know. When I explain the whole sequence of events like that, it sounds insane. And yet...here we were.

I had no choice, at this point, but to accept my fate. With all this kidnapper was putting me through, though, I could only hope that they’d at least make it worth my time. If they didn’t cause a huge scene and turn the night into a swashbuckling spectacle, I was going to be severely disappointed.

After Edward had given me permission to stand, I got up and took another look at him.

The dress he was wearing for the night was quite distinctive, with one exposed shoulder and massive, draping frills gathered around his other. The fabric was two-tone—graceful black intertwined with lustrous silver—and every inch was covered in glittering gems and embroidery that he’d affixed to the dress himself.

The waist was tightly cinched, making his already slender back even more well-defined. The dress’s slimming black fabric only served to amplify the effect.

It was a little concerning, actually. Edward looked pretty delicate already, but this dress took things even further. The woman before me looked like a fragile flower that some ne’er-do-well could just pluck from the ground and snap in his hand.

A subtle slit was cut into the dress, just high enough that it wouldn’t detract from its elegance, and the sliver of white skin that it revealed somehow stirred the senses.

Edward’s hair was a loose, chignon-style bun (a wig, presumably) that was tied in the back with some accessories. If viewed from the front, it looked pretty plain. But from the back, the elegant and elaborate styling was on full display.

The jewelry was subtle, but it sparkled brilliantly. A silver necklace inlaid with purple gems adorned Edward’s neck, and the look was complete with matching earrings.

The ensemble that the crown prince was wearing tonight gave a remarkably different impression than the one he usually gave when he cross-dressed. Gone was the ephemeral, sheltered young maiden of dances yore. The woman in her place seemed to have made a point of selecting a dress with bold colors and loud accessories.

All that was to say: It was a completely different look, but Edward was killing it.

If cross-dressing Edward had been a light type pre-masquerade, she had transformed into a dark type tonight. She looked like an antiheroine, I suppose: ephemeral and ethereal, but in a bewitching way. She was probably closer to a vampire than a fairy.

At this point, I’d lost count of how many times I’d seen Edward cross-dress, but every time I did, I was astonished by what a beautiful woman he made. It was like he just kept finding ways to build upon his beauty each time, always striving to beat his personal best.

And with this new look, it was like he was breaking completely new ground—probably in no small part because he had gone for such a different style.

But let me say this: Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should. I mean, where is this going to lead him? At this rate, it seems to me like any resistance he may have to cross-dressing is rapidly dwindling.

It hadn’t been more than half a year since the last time he’d rocked up to a dance in a dress. It kind of felt like he wore more dresses than I did.

I really couldn’t stick a finer point on it other than to say that, aside from in exceptional cases like masquerade balls, nobody—neither noble nor peasant—went out of their way quite like Edward did to cross-dress.

Okay, maybe that sounds a little rich, coming from me... But my point stands.

In the Royal LOVERS game, Edward had been the kind of character that you’d feel pretty safe to entrust the welfare of the kingdom to—compared to Robert, at least. What had happened to that dependable young man, now, though, I couldn’t tell you.

Honestly, I worry for the future of the kingdom...

In any case, I’m sure this goes without saying, but Edward had made all of the necessary arrangements for his dress himself.

Even putting aside for a moment the baffling choice for a crown prince to bring a dress—for himself—on a diplomatic visit to a foreign kingdom, it was all the more absurd that he’d not only made it by hand but also coordinated his entire outfit to match his hair and eyes.

“I’d meant for you to wear this...but if there’s someone kidnapping and drugging young ladies at the ball, then I can hardly let you be the bait,” Edward had said with a grave expression on his face.

As if we both didn’t know that the dress’s hem was just the perfect length for him. On me, it would have been just a little too short.

Let’s not pretend that dress was for anyone but you, I thought about saying. But I swallowed the retort before it could leave my lips.

It must have been written all over my face, though, because Edward smiled much wider than necessary and said, “It would be the perfect length for you...if you weren’t wearing those heels.”

For a brief moment, I had no clue what he was talking about.

Then it hit me: Oh. He’s right. If it weren’t for my ten-centimeter elevator shoes, I’d be about the same height as him—maybe even a teensy bit shorter.

I’d spent most of my life wearing these elevator shoes, so I’d actually forgotten how tall I was naturally.

But as soon as I realized what he was talking about, a different question presented itself: How did he know about my shoes?

I’d never had to take my shoes off at school or at the training grounds, so there should’ve been no way that anyone would know about them.

The only potential source of this leak that I could come up with was my older brother, but I couldn’t even imagine how they ever could have found themselves on the topic of my shoes, of all things.

Besides, my older brother had a professional relationship with Edward. Surely there were matters of far greater importance for them to discuss?

Stick to talking about sustainable development goals and digitization, please, I thought. For everyone’s sake.

Bring It On

“Well? What do you think?”

“You look beautiful, Your Highness.”

A pause.

“But do I look cute?”

“Positively adorable.”

The crown prince looked up through his eyelashes at me, prompting me for validation. I just told him whatever I thought he wanted to hear as I checked myself out in the mirror.

Since I was pretending to be my older brother, I’d brought some suitably formal attire with me—just in case I had to make public appearances like this one.

I was wearing a black tailcoat with several adornments, a white wing collar shirt, and a white tie.

It was probably a little overly stiff and formal for something like a masquerade ball, but I figured it was better to be overdressed than underdressed.

Most of all, though, I was just chuffed to be wearing a tailcoat.

There weren’t many opportunities to don one of these bad boys before you made your official societal debut, after all, and it was exciting to shake things up by wearing something a little out of the ordinary.

Throw a mask into the mix, and I was guaranteed to steal some hearts. I figured it worked basically the same way that the ski slope effect did. You know how they say that seeing someone in full ski gear hitting the slopes makes them much more attractive than if you came across them in some everyday situation? Well, it was kind of like that.

The thought of it made me smile inside.

And yet...

“Take your tie off and put this on.”

“Pardon?”

Without warning, my tie choice had been vetoed.

“And use this for your pocket square.”

I didn’t really understand what his issue was, but I obediently took the ascot that Edward was offering me. It was a deep purple color with some strange geometric pattern.

Reluctantly, I loosened the tie I’d just put on and removed it.

Let’s see here... How do I tie one of these without a ring again? I wondered.

Edward replaced my pocket square and watched me out of the corner of his eye as I fumbled with the ascot, trying to conjure any faint memories I had of how to finagle it.

The pocket square he’d chosen for me was a lustrous silver color that matched the fabric on his dress. When I stopped to think about it, the silver-purple-black combination I was now wearing was almost a mirror image of his own dress and accessory colors.

At this point, it was like we’d coordinated our outfits. Actually, let’s not beat around the bush here. We were matching.

Sure, I knew married couples (or even engaged couples) sometimes dressed in similar colors when they went out to evening parties, but this was taking that custom to a whole other level.

Even though we would be wearing masks, it was a little much for me. I was too old to be donning matching outfits—and it was especially weird considering that I was matching my boss.

This sucks, I thought.

“We’ll be attending the ball as a couple, so it’s only natural that we look the part. Wouldn’t you agree?” Edward said, smiling cheerfully as he diligently fastened my ascot.

He was clearly enjoying this all way too much.

I’d thought his zealous passion for cross-dressing was abnormal as it was, but now he was determined to parade me, his escort, around in a matching outfit?

Am I just arm candy to you? I wondered.

Unfortunately, I had no choice but to obey. He was my boss, so if he wanted to dress me up in a matching outfit and turn me into just another one of his accessories, then who was I to say no?

Plus, he’d promised to destroy my brother’s final letter if I accompanied him, but it was currently still in his possession. So, until the night was over, I was at his mercy.

I was basically his hostage. I couldn’t afford to upset him.

“Hey, Lizzie?” he suddenly asked, his voice serious.

His typical princely smile was plastered on his face, but with the downturned angle of his head, there was a distinct sense of ennui emanating from him.

His exposed shoulders, which were typically covered up by his clothing, only enhanced his fragile appearance.

Needless to say, he didn’t quite have the assets that Dee had. Without a robust chest plate to protect him, he was so slender that I could probably snap him like a twig if I so much as hugged him.

“Are you disappointed?” he continued, blinking.

His voice was quiet, but there was a trace of despair in it.

He didn’t specify in what or in whom, but I could only assume that the implication was “in me.”

“Disappointed” felt like a pretty dramatic word to use, but I supposed that, over the years, his suitability as future ruler of the kingdom had increasingly come into question.

But considering that the only other potential candidate was Robert, I would have chosen Edward to wear the crown any day.

Robert might have been closing the gap between them ever so slightly, but as far as I was concerned, Edward could rest assured that he still came out way ahead.

If he could just refrain from doing anything else in the future that might disappoint his future subjects, he’d be golden.

Say, just as an example...stealing letters from someone’s room and using them as blackmail.

“I failed to seduce Princess Diana.”

Oh... That’s all you meant?

I gave him a wry smile. “I would never be disappointed in you over something like that.”

I actually felt like he’d been making good progress with her. It wasn’t his fault that she’d fallen to the dark side after a certain someone had awakened the crazed fangirl inside of her.

As Dee herself had put it, some people just weren’t built to experience romance firsthand. There was hardly anything that anyone could do about that.

“If your royal good looks couldn’t sway her, I doubt anyone could have,” I reassured him.

“And yet, you were able to seduce Princess Marie, weren’t you?”

He tugged my ascot tight as he said this.

Hey, uh... Little tight there, pal.

“I always thought I had a certain degree of manly charm, but I suppose I was mistaken.”

“Your Highness? Uh—”

I tapped him on the shoulder, desperate.

“Now it feels like you’ve bested me.”

Edward kept tightening my ascot, his hands clenched furiously.

He pulled tighter, tighter...

And then, as if suddenly realizing what he’d been doing, he loosened the ascot and began fixing it again.

Now that my oxygen intake was no longer jeopardized, I let out a sigh of relief.

Come on, Edward. You’ve got gorgeous features, and you’re a crown prince, for God’s sake. Someone destined to be as noble and fabulous as you has no right to play rival with the likes of me, I thought.

In all honesty, though, it was kind of flattering. If anything, it felt like an acknowledgment of how far I’d come and how well I was able to turn up the charm now.

But if he tightened that ascot any more, I was going to be in trouble.

“Rest assured, Your Highness: You’re plenty charming,” I said, hoping to pacify him.

After a long pause, he asked, “Do you mean that?”

“Yes.”

“Charming how, then?”

You’ve gotta be kidding me, I thought. In fact, I almost said it out loud. This is what I get for showing you just a little bit of kindness, huh? You’re like one of those clingy girls that’s always asking, “Do you love me?” and then demanding that you tell her what specifically you love about her.

Just as I was about to answer with some random physical quality about him, a knock sounded at the door.

“Are you both rea— Oh! Goodness!” Dee cried with delight as soon as she entered the room.

She seemed to be taking in the sight of Edward fastidiously fixing my ascot. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

Crap. We’re standing too close together. There’s no putting the fangirling back in the bottle now...

I immediately took a step back, trying to practice some social distancing...but it was too late. The damage had been done.

Dee tottered backwards unsteadily until she bumped into Richard, who’d been standing behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

As usual, Dee was wearing a boldly cut dress that gave a clear view of her impressive assets...or at least, that’s what I’d been expecting. But today, they were completely covered up.

She wore a frilly blue-and-white dress that was liberally adorned in ribbons. If anything, it was the kind of dress I would have expected to see her sister, Princess Marie, wearing.

I could see the reasoning behind it. She was dressing for a masquerade ball, after all. Surely it was part of the package to wear something outside of your normal wardrobe.

That being said, after all the talk about how she’d dress up and participate in the ball too, I’d expected a bit more effort than just a frilly dress.

If you’re not going to wear a mask, then couldn’t you at least wear a wig?

She’d probably half-assed her disguise because she’d assumed that everyone only recognized her by her cleavage. But if that was her reasoning, then someone really needed to disabuse her of that.

Regardless, her chest size wasn’t something she could just hide with a little fabric. If anything, covering it up like that just put them under a spotlight even more.

Should she really be going out in public like that? I found myself wondering. I felt like I was starting to see what Lilia meant by her complaints about my sleepy expression looking “R-rated.”

Richard, who was standing behind her, looked reasonably dressed up too, so it felt safe to assume that he was probably going to be escorting Dee to the ball as her partner.

He wasn’t blessed with the natural good looks that Dee or Edward had, but he had put enough effort into his attire for the night that he looked quite handsome. Still—he was hardly in the same league as Dee.

I was happy for the guy, though. From the way that he’d casually placed his hands on her shoulders, I could tell that being Dee’s escort for the night was a great opportunity for him.

Damn, though... He must come from a pretty good background if he’s allowed to escort the princess to a ball, I thought. Surely he’s the perfect match for her?

I was starting to feel optimistic about Richard’s chances. Maybe he could undo all of the damage that Lilia had done...?

Godspeed, Richard. The fate of the kingdom rests on your shoulders. Your love might be the only thing that can save your people now.

While I was distracted sending good vibes to Richard, Dee was apparently keeping busy with her fangirling.

“My goodness, oh me, oh my... You look positively splendid!” she cried, her voice shaking with emotion. Her eyes glistened as she teared up.

Honestly, I couldn’t blame her for being impressed. It was pretty hard to think of anything else to say when you were beholding such a high-quality cross-dresser.

“Thank you,” Edward replied with a confident smile that conveyed he agreed with Dee’s assessment.

And honestly, why wouldn’t he be confident? He was a good-looking guy, and he was killing it in that dress.

Yet, I worried for the future of my country, I really did.

I’m begging you, Your Majesty...please, never abdicate the throne.

“You’re so cute, I could just die!” Dee exclaimed.

At this, Richard could only stare at her in astonishment.

I feigned a similarly mystified expression, but privately, I was face-palming.

Please, please stop picking up weird phrases like that from Lilia, I thought. As for you, Lilia... I think you ought to do some more volunteer work for the church and the hospital while we’re here in the West to atone for filling their princess’s head with all these funny ideas. Otherwise, the heavens may take things into their own hands and dole out some divine punishment.

I’d have to crack down on her when we got back to Diagrantz.

◇◇◇

Once I’d donned the mask that Dee had given me, I stepped into the ballroom with Edward.

I was surprised by the natural ease with which he took my arm as I escorted him. But even more surprising was the—how should I put this?—the strangely substantial something that my arm brushed up against.

The crown prince shouldn’t have had any naturalassets, if you will, so the only thing I could come up with was that he’d stuffed his dress with padding...

But would he really go that far? I wondered. Tragically, I knew it wasn’t out of the question. After all, this was the very same crown prince who had come up with the idea to force his male escort to wear matching accessories.

Out of nowhere, a sweet scent tickled my nostrils.

“Prince Ed— I mean, Princess? Are you perhaps wearing a different perfume tonight?” I asked.

“Huh?”

He looked up at me with wide eyes and blinked his long eyelashes (which were somehow even longer than usual, thanks to the eyelash curler he’d used) with such force that he could have generated a decent wind current.

It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good, I suppose...

“You noticed?”

“I did. It smells sweeter than your usual brand.”

“Oh...”

He looked down at the ground bashfully, as if pleased that I’d picked up on the difference. The blush that suddenly crept across his cheeks was partially hidden by his mask, but it was lovely enough to make you forget that he was, in fact, a man.

That probably sounds pretty rich coming from me...but whatever.

Still, I was astonished that he’d gone so far as to switch out his usual scent for the night. He really was a neurotic perfectionist.

“Which do you prefer? This, or my usual scent?” he asked me.

“Huh?”

“Answer me. Which one do you prefer?” he repeated, clinging to my arm and sidling up even closer.

Please don’t press my arm to your chest like that, I silently begged him.

“Uh... Your Highness? Shouldn’t you maintain a bit of distance—you know, since you’re the bait tonight?”

“We’re supposed to be here as a couple tonight, aren’t we? We ought to at least act natural and pretend to be having fun, at least at the beginning.”

“Right...”

For his part, though, there didn’t seem to be pretense necessary—he seemed to genuinely enjoy being out tonight all dolled up in a dress.

I could kind of see where he was coming from. I couldn’t think of anyone who didn’t get a kick out of getting all gussied up, after all.

We got ourselves some drinks—a nonalcoholic drink for me, since I was a minor, and something alcoholic for Edward—and tried to look like we were making some pleasant small talk.

“Are you enjoying your drink?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm. They have some fine options on offer tonight, unsurprisingly.”

“Do they?”

“...”

And with that, the conversation was over.

It wasn’t exactly easy to make small talk on a dime like this.

Actually, it wasn’t just a matter of small talk. The crown prince and I didn’t really have much to talk about to begin with.

In my past life, I’d have tried to talk about something like baseball, or the weather...maybe even sumo wrestling. But in this life, the options were narrowed down to just the weather.

If only sports were more popular here, I thought.

“I just remembered, Lizzie,” Edward began, beating me to the punch just as soon as I was about to start up a conversation about the weather. “Have you given that conversation we had any further thought?”

“Pardon?” I asked, cocking my head.

I assumed he must have been talking about our strategy plan for the evening. It still wasn’t clear whether the kidnapper we were after would even show up, and I’d kind of figured that Edward would come up with a plan of his own, so I hadn’t really given it any thought at all.

Actually, to give myself some credit here, it was more that I was just...playing things by ear.

Yeah. Let’s go with that.

I spent two minutes in silence, thinking. But before I could reply, Edward continued, shattering my assumptions.

“What...do you think of me?”

At this, I clammed up.

What did I think of him? Why would I have been giving that question any thought at all?

In fact, I’d forgotten that he’d ever even asked me that in the first place.

Now that he’d reminded me, I did have just the faintest memory...but it was pretty vague.

So much had been happening around the time that he’d asked that—like, so, so much—that everything else had kind of fallen by the wayside. If anything, I felt like I deserved some recognition just for remembering (albeit only vaguely) that he’d ever asked me that in the first place.

But even when I tried desperately to recall that conversation, the only thing I could remember thinking at the time was that it was a problem for future me.

What did I think of this man who’d unapologetically stolen a kiss from a blushing maiden in the prime of her youth? Well, the only answer I could give to that was “Maybe you need to do some work on yourself.”

(Never mind the fact that I wasn’t much of a blushing maiden, or the fact that I didn’t ascribe all that much importance to first kisses... As far as I was concerned, my point still stood.)

But I knew that if I gave him an answer like that, he’d just lash out at me and say, “That’s not what I was asking!”

Unfortunately, replying with “I don’t remember that conversation” was also out of the question.

Considering that Edward had made a point of digging this up to ask me again, it was clear that he had an answer he was fishing for. I only wished that I knew what it was.

This whole thing was making me miss the old Edward—the one who used to mutter, “Never mind. It’s nothing.”

That was easy to deal with, because then I knew that he wanted me to follow it up with a “It isn’t really nothing, is it? What’s on your mind?”

This Edward, though, was inscrutable. Was there anything crueler than the cold march of time and this mystifying man it had produced?

I found myself getting lost in my own little world as I grappled with his question, desperate to escape from reality.

Edward had been pretty inscrutable in the Royal LOVERS game too...but all I remembered of him in the latter half (in his route, that is) was how he seemed to spout nothing but sickeningly sweet phrases to the main character.

I had no context about how he acted around people who he wasn’t romantically interested in—there just weren’t that many opportunities in the game to see him interact with anyone else.

If he could only just tell me what he was looking for, I’d have some idea of how to respond, but...I knew that wasn’t going to happen.

As I mulled over the situation, I searched the corners of my mind for some kind of clue. Finally, I arrived at a conclusion.

I stopped averting my gaze, turning to look back at Edward again, and began closing the distance between us step by step.

I slowly began to push him towards the wall, and with a loud bang, I slapped the wall behind him with my fist and looked down at him intimidatingly.

“What about you, Your Highness?” I shot back.

“Huh?”

“What do you think of me?”

As I looked down at him, the corner of my lips twisted into an audacious smirk.

When he looked back up at me, his eyes went wide, and he blinked several times.

Here’s a tip for you: Whenever someone asks you a question that catches you off guard, the key is to just return it.

My plan was to mine Edward’s answer for clues about what kind of answer he was looking for from me. And of course, I couldn’t forget to intimidate him a little with a bold smirk that said, I know what you’re trying to do.

I didn’t, obviously. But that didn’t matter. If he clammed up, I could just turn up the heat and say, “What’s this, hm? You asked me a question you can’t even answer yourself?”

My plan was flawless. Absolutely flawless.

Bring it on, Your Highness.

“I...I...” he stammered, quickly growing red in the face. Maybe I’d pissed him off by putting on the pressure like that.

As soon as he opened his mouth, though, he was interrupted.

“Eric!” cried a familiar voice.

It was exactly the sort of voice that might belong to a blonde, pigtailed girl who would go around saying lines like, “I-It’s not like I like you or anything, okay?!”

Sure enough, I turned around to see the beautiful tsundere princess, Princess Marie, running over to us.

Could you maybe not scream my name like that? I thought. You’re kind of defeating the purpose of me wearing a mask.

I couldn’t help but wonder if she actually grasped the point of a masquerade ball—which was a crazy thing to have to wonder about, considering that it was allegedly a huge cultural tradition in Normandius. I’d gotten the impression that it was as much a tradition as eating ehoumaki—a thick, uncut sushi roll—on the last day of winter in the Japan of my past life.

But since everyone at the ball likely already knew who she was, maybe it was simply that she didn’t care.

In any case, regardless of whether or not she actually understood the point of them, Princess Marie was wearing a mask too.

As for her costume, I was surprised to see that she’d gone with a pantsuit-style getup.

She wore a dark blue and white striped vest under a white blazer embroidered with gold flourishes, along with white, full-length slacks and black Chelsea boots.

Ah, so close, I thought. But she’d missed the mark a bit. Her legs would’ve looked longer if only she’d chosen boots and pants that were the same color. And on a short-statured girl like Princess Marie, a little elongation would’ve gone a long way.

That being said, maybe that wasn’t the look she’d been after, anyway. She still wore her hair in her classic pigtails, and flashy frills adorned her collar. The puffy princess dress-style sleeves and the overall cut of her outfit made it pretty clear that it wasn’t a masculine costume.

Her look was less “dressing up as a man” than it was “dressy evening pantsuit.”

There were some missed opportunities, but it was a good look for the vivacious young princess, and it was a refreshing change of pace from her usual dresses.

Great choice, Princess Marie.

If anything, the fact that there was some room for improvement just made her getup that much cuter.

Based on what I’d heard from Dee, the masquerade ball was essentially a form of costume party, so some people liked to make the most of the opportunity to cross-dress or wear the kind of old-fashioned dresses that they wouldn’t usually be able to trot out.

In that sense, I suppose you could say that Princess Marie, Edward, and I were all dressed perfectly appropriately.

“Princess Marie,” I greeted her. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I came because I heard you’d be h— Wait, no! That’s not what I meant!”

She walked right up to me and glared up at me through her mask.

“I see you’ve moved on to other girls after trying to seduce my older sister and the maids!” she accused me.

“I’m impressed you could tell it was me under this mask.”

“Of course I could! How could I miss someone as dash—”

She immediately clamped her mouth shut before she could finish her sentence. Her cheeks were growing pinker and pinker by the minute under her mask. Looking panicked, she quickly averted her gaze.

I couldn’t help but smirk at the sight of her getting all flustered like that.

I’m “dashing,” am I? Why, you flatter me. But don’t stop there. Please, keep the compliments coming.

“You were saying, Princess? ‘Dash’...?” I prompted her, cocking my head affectedly in a show of confusion. I couldn’t hide the smile that had spread across my face.

“Sh-Shut up! Just drop it!” she cried, flailing her arms. Her blush had crept all the way up to her ears by now.

My God, she’s adorable, I thought to myself. What an absolute delight to have her eating out of the palm of my hand like this.

It was hard to put the feeling she elicited from me into words. But if I were to sum it up succinctly...I wanted to keep her as a little sister.

“There are only so many boys as flirty and flashy as you, so I knew it was you right away!” Princess Marie tried again, puffing her chest out confidently with renewed zeal.

“You wound me, Princess.”

“I let you out of my sight for one minute, and this is what happens! I guess I’ll just have to keep a closer eye on you!”

As I looked at her with a warm smile on my face, her eyes suddenly lit up, as if she’d just realized something.

It must have been that I was grinning at her, because she got all flustered and turned her head in a huff.

“D-Don’t get the wrong idea, okay?! I’m just keeping an eye on you so that I can report back any bad behavior to my sister and prove that you’re no good for her!”

I couldn’t believe she was whipping out such a classic tsundere line. Privately, I gazed up to the heavens in a show of gratitude for how blessed I was to be witnessing this.

You’re way, way too good at playing into the tsundere stereotype, Princess, I thought.

Honestly, at this point, I couldn’t help but suspect that it was all part of some deliberate ploy she’d come up with to revive the character archetype. It was like she’d made a decision to disrupt the market, which was currently oversaturated with fawning deredere characters that both male and female fans alike seemed to adore exclusively.

“And you! You can’t let yourself be fooled by this womanizer!” Princess Marie said to Edward. “I know he’s...well...easy on the eyes, I suppose...but still! You have no idea how many girls he’s tried to make a move on!”

Princess Marie might have immediately recognized me, but she apparently couldn’t see past Edward’s impeccable cross-dressing enough to recognize him.

Honestly, the insinuation that I’d been trying to fool anyone was pretty uncalled-for. If anything, I was the victim here, considering that I was only participating in the masquerade ball thanks to Dee and Edward’s scheming.

But Edward just stood there with an inscrutable smile on his face and remained silent.

That’s when it hit me: No matter how much Edward had transformed himself visually into a gorgeous belle of the ball, he couldn’t change his voice.

If he opened his mouth, the only thing that would come out would be the dulcet tones of a heartthrob otome game love interest.

This could be fun...

Edward might find himself in a real bind if the princess kept trying to talk to him. I couldn’t help wondering if he’d adopt a falsetto voice to talk to her, or if he’d just own it and intentionally reveal his identity by using his real voice.

I’ll admit that I kind of got a kick out of seeing the crown prince, who always liked to lord above everyone else and act like he didn’t have a care in the world, find himself in such a difficult position.

Now, I’d never claim to be especially loyal, but I’d say that I had about an average capacity (well, maybe slightly less than average) for gratitude, and I did feel that I owed Edward a debt for bringing me to the West with him.

But on the other hand, I was also holding a bit of grudge for how he’d humiliated me by reading my brother’s letter aloud to everyone.

And if there was even a one-in-a-million chance that he might try to use a falsetto voice, well...I couldn’t pass that up.

But that was neither here nor there.

“I didn’t seduce this young lady, Princess Marie. She asked me to escort her to the ball,” I said.

“What?”

She blinked several times in surprise. Then she turned to stare at Edward.

Edward directed a fleeting glare at me that said, Don’t complicate this any further, but I just brushed it off with a smile.

I had nothing to feel bad about, since every word I’d just said had been true.

For several moments, Princess Marie just kept looking back and forth between me and Edward. Then she couldn’t contain herself anymore.

“I-I can’t accept this! You have no idea what a womanizing, mean...creep he is!” she burst out. “He needs to be kept on a tight leash, and...and only a strong woman like me can do that!”

So, she was keeping me on a tight leash, was she? Well, that sure was news to me.

And here I’d thought I had her eating out of the palm of my hand...but I guess Princess Marie saw the situation pretty differently.

“A sweet girl like you will only end up getting hurt! He’ll trick you, use you, and then he’ll just throw you away! If you ask me, I think you’d better get rid of him! Yeah, that’s it... Get rid of him! Just trust me, it’s for your own good!”

Hmm... She’s got a point there.

I had, in fact, tricked the main character, used her, and then dumped her. It was hard to argue with the princess when my criminal record confirmed everything she was saying.

The only defense I could even come up with was to point the finger at Edward and say, “She may look like a graceful young woman, but trust me, she’s anything but.”

But of course, I didn’t do that.

Edward, for his part, just kept smiling awkwardly without saying anything.

But behind his smile oozed cold rage. I could practically hear him saying, through gritted teeth, “Do something, for goodness’ sake!”

“Can I get you something to drink, Princess Marie?” I asked.

“Well, how surprisingly thoughtful of you. I’ll take something sweet!”

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

I gave her a light bow and turned to leave her with Edward.

This ought to buy some time, I thought.

Edward could only stay quiet for so long, especially now that I was out of the picture. I couldn’t wait to see how things had unfolded once I returned.

“Hello, Lord Eric.”

Just as I was heading back to Princess Marie and Edward—I’d gone to grab the former something to drink—I ran into Dee.

She gave me a curtsy so ladylike and refined that elegance seemed to practically ooze out of her every pore, even in spite of the mask she wore—actually, I daresay the mask amplified the effect.

Even Richard, who was hanging a bit behind her, looked dashing enough in his mask that he hardly seemed out of place accompanying her. They looked like the perfect couple.

He wasn’t especially tall—probably around the same height as Edward, if I had to guess—but he seemed to have a nice physique. There wasn’t an ounce of baby fat on his face, and he looked awfully strapping in his formal evening attire.

Huh... Little weird that I’m only noticing all of this now that he’s wearing a mask, though, I thought.

“How is everything going?” Dee asked.

“Well, we haven’t noticed anyone suspicious yet,” I replied, assuming that she was looking for a status report on the kidnapper.

But to my surprise, Dee shook her head.

“Oh, no, that’s not what I meant,” she said. Then she leaned in close to whisper into my ear, “Have you had the chance to dance with Prince Edward yet?”

“No...?”

“B-But why ever not?!”

What do you mean, “why ever not”? We’re not actually here to dance, remember?

As far as I was aware, our job was to resolve a matter of grave importance to her kingdom. Well, the degree of importance felt like it was still up for debate, but considering that it was the preservation of an allegedly precious national tradition under threat, I really wished she’d keep her eye on the ball a bit more.

I just shrugged off her question and tried to steer us onto a different topic.

“By the way, I just bumped into Princess Marie earlier.”

“Oh! I’m so sorry... I may have accidentally let slip that you would be attending the ball tonight,” Dee replied, clapping her hands over her cheeks. “But I told her to stay put in the castle!”

Well, apparently, her efforts had been in vain...because Princess Marie clearly hadn’t listened. What a handful she was, disobeying her older sister like that.

Little sisters, am I right?

“You don’t need to apologize for her,” I replied with a smile as we walked back to Princess Marie and Edward together.

I’d been really looking forward to seeing what kind of a hole Edward had managed to dig himself into in my absence, but when I returned, he was nowhere to be found.

“Princess Marie... Where is the lady I’m escorting tonight?” I asked as I handed the little princess her glass of juice.

“She just left. Apparently she had to powder her nose or something.”

Now, I know that “powder my nose” is a euphemism, but with the dainty figure that Edward cut in that dress, I could only take that literally. There was no way anything unladylike was coming out of that lady.

I was pretty content to just wait for Edward to return, but Dee seemed to have other ideas.

“Oh, dear! We need to go and find her right away!” she exclaimed, tugging me by the arm.

I leaned in to whisper back, “I’m sure we don’t need to worry. It sounds like he only just left.”

“But the kidnapper...”

“He’s a man, remember? He’ll be fine.”

At this, Dee practically exploded.

“What on earth are you saying?! Even men can be victims to male predators! If anything, that only puts him even more at risk!”

Her reasoning was so twisted, I didn’t even know where to begin. It was tempting just to parrot back her question: “What on earth are you saying?!”

Princess Marie seemed equally stunned. All she could do was stare at Dee in amazement.

It really is too late for Dee now, I thought sadly. There’s no turning back the clock on this. The Normandius princess’s mind has been irrevocably warped. She’s a full-blown yaoi fangirl.

Honestly, Lilia needed to do some serious atoning. Maybe I could banish her to the Normandius castle hallway tomorrow to hold some buckets as a punishment—you know, like the classic old-school punishment that teachers in Japan used to always inflict upon unruly students.

“Please, Lord Eric... There’s not a moment to waste! You must go to him. I’m sure he’s waiting for you! And once it’s all over...you can affirm your love for each other!” Dee pressed.

She was so persistent, I couldn’t help but give in. I honestly would’ve done anything to make her back off.

“All right, all right. We’re not in love with each other, but I’ll go check on him,” I relented.

Good grief. Why are all of the women in my life so pushy?

I did a lap through the building in search of Edward. I looked in the ballroom, in the hallway outside, and even in the bathroom, where he might’ve gone to powder his nose. But there was no sign of him.

Instead, I found a room with a lost earring with purple gems in front of the door.

It was one of Edward’s. We’d agreed that, if anything happened, he would leave an earring as a distress signal.

The room he’d dropped it outside of was a corner room on the third floor, far away from the ballroom. It was probably the servants’ antechamber...but right now, when there was a masquerade ball in full swing, all of the servants should’ve been preoccupied.

Hmm...

I approached the door, trying to sense if there was anyone inside. From what I could tell, there were at least three people.

I couldn’t tell what exactly was going on, though.

Thinking back on what I’d heard about victims’ experiences, it didn’t seem likely that Edward’s life was in danger. But in the worst-case scenario—if Edward was discovered to be a man—then who knew what might happen?

After sussing out the situation a little bit more, I walked away as quickly as I could without raising any alarms and slid down the banister of the spiral staircase. Then I went outside and sneaked around to the corner below the room.

The lights were turned off, which obviously made it a little challenging to tell what was going on.

I knew I had to start by distracting the kidnappers. That would kill two birds with one stone, since it would also signal to Edward that I was about to make a move.

If I got really lucky, then that alone would give me a big enough window to get Edward out.

I picked up a rock big enough to catch their attention and threw it at the window of the room next to the one I thought Edward was in. It made a magnificent crashing noise as it shattered the glass.

Immediately after, I heard the faint sound of a commotion above. Then the window with the shattered glass swung open.

“Lizzie!”

I looked towards where I’d heard my name and saw Edward.

Great. Looks like he’s unharmed.

All that was left to do now was save him and reveal the kidnappers’ identities. I immediately prepared to start scaling the wall, but something stopped me in my tracks.

It was Edward, climbing up onto the sill of the open window. And before I could even process what was going on, he hoisted himself up and flung himself out of the window.

For a split second, my mind went blank.

Once I’d regained my senses, my very next thought was, This goddamn moron.

But I shook off that thought and immediately ran over to where I was expecting him to land.

“Your Highness!” I yelled, catching him in my arms as he fell.

He’d jumped from the third floor, so my hands were really smarting from the impact. But the pain was nothing compared to the cold sweat I’d broken out in when I thought about what could have happened if—God forbid—I hadn’t managed to catch him.

Considering the height he’d jumped from, he would have been lucky to get away with just injuries. Because if he’d landed the wrong way, he very well could have died.

And if that had happened, then best-case scenario, I might have found myself beheaded. Worst-case scenario, my whole family might have been hanged. The sheer stupidity of Edward’s actions were on a scale too grand to even comprehend.

I was stunned. The lunacy of it all was absolutely dizzying. I was this close to ripping him a new one for being such an absolute goddamn moron. The only thing stopping me was his royal paternity.

Actually, scratch that. If he’d been anyone but the crown prince specifically—say, for instance, Robert—I would’ve kicked his ass.

But I held my tongue, toning it down by several, several notches as I chided the crown prince in my arms.

“I’m begging you, please don’t jump like that without a safety tether!” I said—a little more forcefully than I’d meant to.

“Huh?” Edward looked up at me, his eyes wide. “But you’re always jumping from windows, aren’t you?”

“Please, Your Highness. Just because I do something, that doesn’t mean you should.”

Now that I knew why he’d jumped, I just felt...exhausted.

I’d assumed that Edward had been going off the rails lately due to Robert’s influence, but apparently I shared some responsibility. Believe me when I say that any influence I had on him was entirely unintentional, though.

Seriously, Edward... Don’t put a life-or-death landing in my hands like this ever again.

“If any harm were to come to you, they’d come for my head,” I said.

After a moment of silence, he replied, “That’s all you care about?”

Excuse me? I thought. I almost said it too. What do you mean “that’s all”?

Maybe my head was nothing more than a trifling concern from his perspective, but from mine, it was pretty damn important. I only had one life to live, after all. Was it really so wrong to be protective of it?

All right, enough of this. I don’t have time to entertain his nonsense, I thought, setting him down gently back on his feet.

“What about the kidnappers?” I asked as he straightened out his dress.

“I’m sure they’ve fled by now. But I did see their faces.”

“Excellent work.”

I meant that. It was no small feat to catch a glimpse of someone’s face at a masquerade ball.

I decided against asking how he’d pulled that off, though. I didn’t want to set myself down whatever garden path that opened up.

All that was left to do now was to give a description to Dee, get her to make a lineup of noblemen that fit Edward’s description, and we’d have our kidnappers.

As for their motive, well...as long as we could solve the whodunnit, there would be plenty of ways to extract that information.

Before I could try and sense any people in the room, though, I noticed a presence even closer to us.

That was hardly surprising. It was only natural that they’d chase after the “young lady” they’d kidnapped once they’d realized she’d made a run for it.

What was surprising was that there was only one of them.

Something feels off here, I thought.

Had the other kidnapper fled, or was he just watching from a distance somewhere? If it was the former, then the nearby presence I was picking up on was probably a scapegoat meant to distract us while the mastermind got away.

I could figure that out later, though. For now, I needed to focus on dealing with the guy exuding hostile energy who was closing in on us.

Obviously, I couldn’t enter the ballroom with a sword at my side, so unfortunately, I was unarmed. And if I wanted to intercept his attack, then I’d need a weapon.

“Your Highness?”

“Yes?”

“Please excuse me.”

“Huh?!”

Shink!

I stopped the attacker’s incoming slash with my knife just in time.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “A knife? Where’d that come from?” It just so happened that Edward had stashed one in his garter belt, and I’d made the call to borrow it for a minute.

In my defense, this was kind of an emergency...and I did say “excuse me.” Still, please excuse my boorish behavior in reaching up a lady’s skirt.

(Not that he was much of a lady to begin with...)

As the kidnapper reeled from the shock of that initial blow, he retreated from us with a nimbleness uncharacteristic of a man his size.

I shielded Edward behind me and brandished my knife at him again.

“Does this man ring a bell, Your Highness?”

“D-Did you see anything?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m asking if you saw my...my...!” Edward stammered.

“Rest assured, Your Highness: Your beautiful legs are nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Lizzie!”

Now I’d really gone and pissed him off.

Oh, come on. What’s the fuss all about? I thought. It wasn’t like he was some virginal maiden, pure as the driven snow. And besides, this was hardly the time to be worrying about spoiled innocence. Save the hysterics for later, Your Highness.

After a bit of sussing out, it didn’t seem that the other kidnapper was lying in wait somewhere nearby. That probably meant that the guy we were dealing with now had been hired by the real culprit to act as a guard-slash-watchdog. He seemed like a capable fighter, so it was entirely possible that he’d had a hand in the other kidnappings too.

I parried his sword again as he swung at us.

That’s all you’ve got? I thought.

Even parrying him head-on like this was hardly an effort. A blow from Robert would’ve hit much harder, and one from Martin would’ve been much faster.

I concentrated on reading the trajectory of his next move.

Just as he swung his sword again, I used the blade of my knife as leverage to divert his attack.

I barely even had to apply any force. I just followed the trajectory of his sword with my knife, and it basically did all the work for me. His sword was like an accelerator, guiding my blade exactly where it needed to go.

Once it had slid all the way down to the sword’s hilt, I leveraged the attacker’s momentum to rotate my knife-wielding hand so that I was now pointing the tip of the knife at the hilt. Then I rammed it as hard as I could.

A loud, metallic sound rang out. And then, seconds later...there was the sound of something hitting the ground.

Clink!

“Huh...?”

The man looked down at his hand. Once he saw what had become of his sword, he blinked in confusion.

It had snapped clean off at the hilt.

Mission: accomplished.

◇◇◇

“Who are you working for?”

Silence.

“You think you can get away with keeping your mouth shut? You should’ve realized the situation you’re in when no one came to help you, but I’ll clue you in: You’ve been left to die, pal.”

I looked down at the man and shrugged my shoulders.

Now that I’d destroyed his weapon, the rest would be a piece of cake. I’d only need about five seconds to make him fold.

I dragged him down to the ground and rubbed my boot against his head.

“Mm... I don’t quite have Instructor Gried’s talent for this,” I muttered, making a show of my distress.

Then I grabbed the man’s neck with one hand and lifted him up above me. I watched him as he groaned. He looked like he was struggling to breathe.

If he can still groan, then he’s doing just fine.

“For torture, I mean,” I clarified, in case he hadn’t caught my drift.

At this, only his eyeballs moved to look down at me.

“People are so fragile, you know what I mean? Apply too much force, and they just go and die on you. I don’t have the delicate touch required to push a man to his limit without breaking him.”

I tightened my grip on his neck. His red face was quickly beginning to grow ashen.

“W...ait...”

“So if I screw up and apply just a liiiittle too much pressure...don’t hold it against me, all right?”

“Guh! Hhgh!”

“Hm? I didn’t quite catch that.”

Suddenly, I loosened my grip and released him. His body hit the floor with a thud.

Then he broke into a coughing fit.

“Oh, right. I can hardly expect you to talk when I’m strangling you, can you? My bad,” I said, chuckling.

I squatted down next to him and patted his back unhelpfully.

Then, in a voice just loud enough that Edward wouldn’t hear, I whispered, “I’ll be real with you, though. You may not want to talk, but guess what? I don’t either.”

“Wh-What?”

“I’m only behaving ’cause the boss is watching. I honestly wouldn’t give a shit if you keeled over right now.”

The man looked up at me.

I grabbed his hair and pulled his face close to mine. Then I gave him a big smile and looked straight into his eyes.

I’d been joking about torture, but in all honesty, interrogations weren’t my forte. And I’d meant it when I said I wasn’t great at controlling my strength too.

But intimidation? Now that I could pull off flawlessly.

Sure, I was comfortably retired now, but I was still a villainess at heart. And just like any villainess worth her salt, I knew how to weaponize threats and deceit.

“It won’t be long before we figure out who hired you. And let me give you a little tip. My boss? The one you kidnapped and tried to attack earlier? She’s actually a very high-ranking noble. You’ll either wind up at the chopping block or spend the rest of your life in prison. Maybe if I ‘accidentally’ apply just a little too much pressure next time I wrap my hand around your neck, I’ll get to go home sooner?”

“Wait, stop! I’ll talk! I’ll tell you everything!”

“Hm, but can we trust you? Who’s to say if anything you tell us under duress is true or not?”

“Lizzie...”

“Mmf!”

Out of nowhere, I felt something hit me on the back. At the same time, a hand had slid around to cover my mouth.

It took me a moment to realize it was Edward, who’d come up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

The surreal sensation of whatever he must have stuffed into his bra squishing against my back felt like a record scratch interrupting the tension of the moment. I’d assumed that he was wearing some sort of legitimate padding, but now that I was up close and personal with it, it felt more like a bundle of socks.

“Let me take it from here.”

“Mmgh...”

“I’m sure that’s what your brother would say if he were here right now.”

At this, my eyes went wide.

Then, as I broke into a wry smile, I lifted both of my hands in surrender.

Now you’re playing dirty, I thought.

Hearing him say that made me feel like I was getting a talking-to from my older brother, even though he wasn’t even here. But I knew that, if he were to ever find out about this, he would absolutely get mad at me.

Edward must’ve sensed that I wasn’t going to take things any further, because he released me and stepped away.

When I turned to look at him, he was looking back at me with an expression so serious that it made me uneasy. I just gave him a shrug, as if to say, Hey, don’t worry about it.

Just then, some guards who had heard the commotion came running over and apprehended the man. And with an arrest to top off the evening, the day came to an end.

Fait Accompli

Once we’d finished reporting back to Dee, we returned to the guest villa.

Now that everything was settled, we were officially relieved of our duties. Surely now we’d be able to make our trip home feeling accomplished and reinvigorated.

As far as I was concerned, we were free to spend the rest of the evening unwinding. The Normandius bigwigs could handle all of the interrogations, evidence gathering, and further arrests now.

So we had some tea before bed, then retired to our respective bedrooms.

If we were heading back to Diagrantz soon, then I knew it was time to start thinking seriously about souvenirs. I’d have to check in with Christopher about buying some for the cadets and instructors at the training grounds. He’d made some comments about handling theirs, and I didn’t want to accidentally double up.

The tea I’d just been sipping had a pretty distinctive taste that was unlike anything I’d ever had before.

Maybe I should ask the maids what it was and bring some of that home as a souvenir? I thought.

Once I’d taken my shower and done my nightly stretches, I crawled into bed.

Physically, I was feeling just fine. But emotionally, I was completely drained. I’d been pretty on edge all night, thanks to being forced into wearing matching outfits with Edward and performing some BL fantasy for Dee.

Normally, it took me three seconds to fall asleep. Tonight, it probably took just me just one.

As soon as I closed my eyes, I was out.

◇◇◇

I startled out of my slumber, suddenly awoken by a sense that something was wrong.

There was something on the bed, hovering above my stomach.

Probably just a dream, I thought, as I let myself drift off again. There was no way that someone could have climbed onto my bed—much less climbed onto me—without my noticing.

But I couldn’t dispel the sense of unease I had about it. So, reluctantly, I managed to open my heavy eyelids.

There was someone on top of me.

Flustered, I blinked several times, trying to focus my eyes.

The person on top of me...was a petite young woman.

Her golden eyes sparkled in the darkness, illuminated by the moonlight. Her dazzling blonde hair wasn’t in her usual pigtails, but instead cascaded over her shoulders.

Which is all to say...it was none other than Princess Marie.

I just kept blinking, unable to process what I was seeing.

From what I could tell in the darkness, she seemed to be wearing a thin camisole—a negligee, if you will.

Pretty bold choice of nightwear for a late-night visit to a man’s bedroom.

Sure, I wasn’t really a man...but she thought I was.

Her nightwear was hardly the boldest choice she was making, though. Sneaking into someone’s bedroom in the middle of the night and climbing into their bed probably took the cake.

First Richard, and now Princess Marie... Was it not illegal yet to creep into someone’s bedroom here in the West? I could only assume that the law undergirding the concept of “unlawful entry” hadn’t yet been established.

Before you start criticizing nobles from other countries, maybe you ought to establish some proper laws first. And keep your own princesses in check, will you?

“Uh... Princess Marie? I think you’ve got the wrong bed.”

“You’ve been a very bad boy.”

Not only was Princess Marie a literal princess of the kingdom we were currently visiting, but she was also in the tender years of her youth. I was in a precarious position here that was hardly my fault, but I’d have to be exceedingly careful to avoid moving even slightly, or I could find myself facing severe charges.

I called her name again, taking extra care not to move even a single finger.

But all she muttered in response was, “First you go after my sister, and now you’re making passes at other girls too...”

Her gaze was deadly serious. A fierce blush colored her cheeks as she looked straight at me.

“That’s why... I’m going to make sure that you never look at any other girl but me.”

The bed let out a creak.

Hey, whoa...

Uh...

Crap. I’m in trouble.

This is going to be a bit of a— Scratch that, this is going to be a big problem.

This whole situation was just...off. To begin with, how in the world had I failed to notice her climbing into my bed? Under normal circumstances, I would have picked up on her presence the moment she entered my room.

Then there was the question of how a princess had managed to sneak out of the castle alone in the middle of the night and make it all the way to the guest villa. Someone had to have led her here.

Princess Marie’s maid was the first person who came to mind. If she’d spiked my drink and sicced the princess on me, then that would explain all of this.

But knowing who the culprit was didn’t do much to solve my current predicament.

As I desperately racked my brains for a way to settle this peacefully and quietly, Princess Marie stroked my cheek with her hand.

Reflexively, I looked up at her. She was hovering over me as she looked back down at me, breathing heavily through her nose. Her silky hair tickled my cheeks as she moved.

“I just have to make it a...fate accomply, right?!”

It could not have been more obvious that the little princess had no idea what that meant.

But she wasn’t wrong. If I made one misstep here, it might very well turn into the kind of scandal that could create a fait accompli out of nothing.

Never mind that what the princess had in mind wasn’t even possible.

How in the world can I extract myself from this situation? I wondered.

After a bit of hesitation, I made up my mind.

I took a deep breath...

And then I let out a high-pitched, shrill scream that cut straight through the night’s darkness.

◇◇◇

“Sis!”

The sound of panicked footsteps was soon followed by Christopher running into my bedroom.

As soon as I saw him, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Oh, thank God, I thought. He’d done exactly as I’d hoped he would.

“Get away from my sister!” he cried, leaping over to the bed in one bound and peeling Princess Marie off of me.

Once he’d expelled her from my bed, he stood between the two of us protectively. He must’ve sprinted over, because his heaving breaths shook his shoulders.

I got out of bed too and hid behind him.

“Thanks, Christopher,” I said.

“Are you okay, sis?”

“You saw that, right? You saw what happened?”

“What?”

“I didn’t lay even a finger on her. I’m completely innocent, okay?”

“Yeah, I know!”

He seemed pissed at my attempt to clarify the situation. But if this incident led to some kind of investigation, then the best defense I had was an eyewitness statement.

I didn’t want Princess Marie fabricating a fake fait accompli, and I needed someone—someone who wasn’t in her corner—to vouch for my innocence. It was no exaggeration to say that Christopher held my life in his hands. So what was so wrong about checking that we were on the same page?

Christopher looked up at Princess Marie accusingly through his honey golden eyes.

“What did you do to my sweet, innocent older sister?”

“S...Sister?” Princess Marie repeated.

The words “sweet” and “innocent” were wildly inaccurate descriptors for me, but that wasn’t what had stood out to Princess Marie.

As she slumped down onto the floor and looked up at me, I watched her face contort into a look of pure shock.

Her lips began to quiver, and she said, in the quietest whisper, “That scream just now... It almost sounded like...a girl’s voice...”

Well, I’ve got news for you. It didn’t just sound like one. It was one.

I didn’t often go around trying to produce a high-pitched voice like that, so even the little scream I’d unleashed had really hurt my throat. I’d really had to force it, since my natural voice was on the low-pitched side.

It had been worth it, though. It hadn’t exactly been the piercing scream I’d been aiming for, but it had clearly been a woman’s scream—and that was the only thing that mattered. It had been enough to spur Christopher awake and get him racing towards my bedroom, after all.

That being said...I had no idea if he’d actually known it was my scream.

“This can’t be real... You can’t be...”

The color was quickly draining from Princess Marie’s flushed cheeks.

“Marie!”

Richard came running in, kicking the already ajar door fully open.

“Are you all...right...?” he asked, his voice trailing.

“Richard...”

He looked from Princess Marie, who was slumped on the floor, to Christopher, who was standing in front of me protectively, and finally to me.

Then he yelled, “What the hell is going on here?!”

◇◇◇

Shortly after, the maid Richard had brought along with him collected the dazed Princess Marie and escorted her out of the room.

The only people left now were Richard, Christopher, and me.

Apparently, Richard had been doing his nightly patrol when he’d noticed that Princess Marie wasn’t in her room. He’d then detained a maid who had been acting suspiciously and forced her to tell him what had happened—which had ultimately led him to come running over to my room in the guest villa.

Just as I’d suspected, one of the maids had had a hand in everything. I’d even correctly surmised that she’d spiked my tea with sleeping powder.

“The security here is disgraceful,” Christopher said to Richard. I’d never heard him speak in such barbed, low tones before. “And who ever heard of a princess sneaking into the bedroom of an honored guest in the middle of the night? It raises some serious questions about the quality of her upbringing.”

“I couldn’t agree more...”

“What’s more, not only did her maid not put a stop to her outrageous behavior, but she conspired with her and even drugged my sister. It’s absolutely appalling. We have a diplomatic crisis on our hands.”

“There are truly no words.”

As I listened to Christopher’s upbraiding, I felt my spine straighten up in fear. The way he was tearing into Richard like this kind of reminded me of someone, actually...

Oh.

That’s when I realized: He was speaking just like the head maid back home.

A hundred percent of the time that I’d heard that chastising tone, my poor behavior had been the catalyst. The only thing to do was to wait out the storm in silence.

But that wasn’t the approach called for this time.

Sure, I’d been shocked when Princess Marie had climbed into my bed...but when you got right down to it, none of this ever would have happened if I hadn’t tried to seduce her.

If I didn’t get Christopher to tone it down, I was going to be left with a guilty conscience.

“Hey, Christopher? It’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, she didn’t even get anywhere.”

“You be quiet, sis,” he replied, shutting me down immediately.

Even back home at the manor, the potted plants had more of a say than I did, so I couldn’t say I was surprised by that.

“I intend to lodge a formal complaint about this incident,” he said to Richard, before turning to look at me.

The expression on his face was deadly serious at first, but then it softened slightly. He gave me a decisive nod.

I didn’t really understand what he was trying to get across, but I didn’t want to piss him off any further, so I just gave him a nod back.

“I’m going to go rouse someone with some authority, sis. I’ll be right back,” he said.

“Huh?”

“Behave yourself, all right?”

And with that, Christopher left.

Honestly, I felt his comment was a little uncalled-for. You know, considering I was the victim today. Besides, the only reason I’d found myself in this situation was because I’d been behaving.

Okay... That’s not true. When I looked back at everything that had led me to this point, I’d pretty clearly brought it upon myself.

Anyway, after all the fuss (and screaming), I doubted that Christopher actually needed to rouse Edward. He was probably already awake.

“Hey,” Richard called, just as I was watching Christopher leave and reaching my arm out to stop him.

When I turned around, I saw Richard staring at me with a bewildered look on his face.

“Are you seriously a woman?” he asked.

I thought about how to answer him.

At this point, it seemed kind of meaningless to keep my gender a secret. It definitely didn’t seem like the appropriate moment to crack a joke about it either.

So, I just shrugged and said, “That’s what we’ve been saying, isn’t it? Wanna see for yourself?”

I had no clue what kind of evidence would prove that to him, but I was willing to show off my abs for him if that would help.

Anyway, now that the night’s turned into such a drama, I should probably change out of my pajamas, at least, I thought, beginning to unbutton my pajama shirt.

“Whoa! All right! All right!” Richard exclaimed, practically leaping at me to stop me from undoing the button.

I’d already unbuttoned the first couple so I didn’t feel like I was choking in my sleep, but he even buttoned those as he redid all of them.

Oh, come on. Don’t do up the top button too, I thought.

“I believe you! You don’t need to undress!”

Once Richard had confirmed that I’d given up on undoing my buttons, he let out a dramatic sigh.

Then he covered his face with his right hand and asked, in a low, mournful voice, “So... Does this mean that our little princess tried to climb into bed with a woman?”

“Well... Yeah, I guess so?”

At this, Richard cradled his head in his hands and groaned.

I could kind of see why he’d be upset by that, but as far as I was concerned, Princess Marie was still perfectly uncorrupted. She’d just been deceived by a skirt-chasing scoundrel (i.e., me), that was all. And from what Dee had told me, she was a bit of a romantic.

If Princess Marie wanted me to apologize, I’d be happy to. But I figured she’d probably just want everyone to drop it and let her laugh it off later as nothing more than “youthful folly.”

Besides, as far as I was concerned, it was the other princess who was heading down a path that she could never return from. Compared to that, this situation with Princess Marie was nothing. If there was anyone to worry about, it was her sister.

If possible, I just wanted to keep a low profile and leave Normandius before the jig was up that I was pretending to be my older brother.

For now, though, I just needed to get through this conversation.

“There’s no need to act so surprised,” I said, placing my hand on Richard’s shoulder gently to soothe him. “Noble children hide their genders all the time.”

“Don’t try to minimize this,” he retorted, swatting my hand away.

I guess he must have been really rattled by the thought that his “little princess” had sneaked into a woman’s bed and tried to put the moves on her.

If anything, though, I’d argue that he should be relieved.

If I were actually a man—especially the kind of man that lost his mind over blonde, pigtailed tsundere girls like her—then I wouldn’t have hesitated to eat his “little princess” right up.

Surely he should have just been glad that that didn’t happen?

Richard didn’t seem to be going anywhere, so I just sat down on the sofa and tried to fall asleep again. It was pretty late, after all. Plus, I’d been drugged with sleeping powder—I was so sleepy. This whole time I’d been awake, my eyelids had been dangerously close to meeting each other.

I crossed my legs and my arms, hoping to fall asleep sitting up, but since Richard had forcefully done up the top button of my pajama shirt, it felt like the collar was digging into my neck.

And, not to brag or anything, but I didn’t exactly have a very dainty neck. I felt like I was at risk of choking whenever my head lolled downwards a bit, so I decided I’d have to undo at least the first button or two. I didn’t want to get sleep apnea or something.

As I started undoing the first button, Richard suddenly looked up and leaped at me again.

“Hey! Keep your shirt buttoned!”

“If you don’t like it, then just leave.”

“For God’s sake! Keep! Your! Shirt! Buttoned!” Richard yelled, doing up my buttons again.

This sucks...

I really didn’t see what the issue was. I mean, nobles changed in front of their servants and staff all the time. From what I’d heard, some nobles even had their servants bathe them.

Surely Richard would be used to this?

“Lord Eric!” a voice cried.

The door flung open with a bam! and in tumbled Princess Diana.

It struck me as surprisingly unladylike behavior for a princess to enter without knocking.

She stared at me—well, Richard and me—and immediately froze.

When I stopped to think about what this must have looked like from the outside, I could understand her shock. Richard was just doing up my buttons, but from her perspective, it might have looked like he was groping my chest.

No, worst-case scenario...it might have even looked like he was undressing me.

Dee blushed all the way to her ears, covering her face with both hands...but she kept peeking through her fingers at us.

What’s the point of covering your eyes, then?

“I-I’m so sorry! I... I...!”

“Listen, Dee, it’s not what you think,” I began.

But before I could tell her that this was all just a misunderstanding, she scurried out the door and slammed it shut.

“Please, don’t mind me! I didn’t mean to interrupt! Just enjoy yourselves and take all the time you need!” she cried out from behind the door.

Well, I wouldn’t say we were “enjoying ourselves”...and you really didn’t interrupt anything.

Despite her insistence to pay her “interruption” no mind, though, Dee had very clearly not moved from behind the door. There had been no sound of footsteps to signal that she had left.

“Well, uh... Don’t let it get to you, Richard,” I said, clapping him on the shoulder as I made my way to the door.

“You...”

He looked thoroughly depressed. Now that I’d vacated the couch, he crumpled down onto it himself.

I could hardly blame the man. It must’ve stung to have the girl he was in love with get the wrong idea about him like that.

Don’t worry. I’m sure you can recover from this...probably.

When I opened the door, I heard a little shriek.

Just as I’d expected, Dee had plopped herself down right in front of the door.

“I-It’s not what you think! I-I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, I promise!”

“I never said anything about eavesdropping.”

She’d just gone and told on herself, completely unprompted.

She hurried to cover her mouth, but it was too late.

You’re honest to a fault, aren’t you, Princess?

A Dad Loafing Around in the Living Room on His Day Off

“Hey, Mr. Knight? Can you open this bottle?”

“Sure... There ya go.”

“Wow!”

“That’s so cool!”

“Ha ha. That was nothing.”

The day after Princess Marie’s little stunt, Lilia and I had gone to pay a visit to the Western church.

While Lilia helped out at the medical clinic, I ended up playing with the kids from the adjoining orphanage. They were easily amused, so it was shaping up to be a pretty chill day. All I had to do was slice off a bottle cap with a hand strike, and they were screaming with glee.

Why was I out here taking it easy with a bunch of orphaned kids after all the chaos that had ensued last night, you ask? It’s simple, actually: I was under direct orders from the crown prince.

“Your presence will only complicate matters, so go while the hours away elsewhere,” he’d commanded.

Honestly, I felt like a dad being chastised and shooed away for loafing around in the living room on his day off.

Christopher had apparently gone to speak with Edward directly. From the sounds of it, Edward had managed to mollify him and smooth the situation over with nothing more than a stern warning for the little princess.

Considering that I also had some blame to bear—on account of pretending to be my older brother—that seemed like a pretty appropriate resolution to me.

Apparently Edward felt some responsibility too.

“I was complicit in the duplicity that led to this incident with Princess Marie, so I’ll share the burden of the duke’s anger with you,” he’d said.

I couldn’t argue with his implication that I was bound to get an earful over this. There was no question about it: Christopher would blab about what had happened last night when we got home, and my family would be pissed—at me, that is.

I knew my older brother would be particularly upset. I could practically hear him now, sobbing, “You should have stopped her at any cost!” Never mind that I had.

But if the crown prince accepted the blame with me, then my parents and older brother would surely hold back a bit.

See, nothing gets you out of a pinch quite like having a highborn accomplice.

Actually... Maybe I’m being a little optimistic here.

I thought back to how furious my family had been when I’d gotten into a hands-on scuffle with a bear protecting the saint, and also when I’d literally prevented a war from breaking out.

Never in a million years would anyone have expected the level of scolding I’d gotten from them coming from the Honorable Duke’s noble family. So...maybe it was a bit naive to assume I could anticipate how they’d respond to this.

For all I knew, they might make Edward sit seiza style with me in a show of remorse.

“Ellie!”

Lilia, who’d apparently just finished up her work, came running over to me and tried to grab my arm; I swiftly dodged her.

“Don’t. It’s too hot for your clinginess today,” I said.

“Oh, don’t be like that! If I don’t scare the other girls off, you may find yourself with another unwanted admirer!”

“I told you, that’s not gonna happen.”

“I don’t want to hear that from the world’s most clueless chick magnet herself.”

As she lobbed that extremely unflattering nickname at me, Lilia slowly tried to close the distance between us, outstretching her arms.

Why does it feel like we’re playing kabaddi all of a sudden?

“I can’t believe she managed to sneak into bed with you! It’s just so unfair! Even I haven’t gotten that far yet!” Lilia cried.

Like I’d ever let you get that far.

“And then she goes and has a nervous breakdown, just ’cause you’re a girl? Pathetic! She says she loves you, but she’s obviously not a real fan. This is exactly why I can’t stand fake fans like her!”

“Yeah? Why don’t you tell that to Lilia from a year ago?”

“Well, see, when you get to be a veteran fangirl like me, you realize ‘that’s actually the best part.’ But even if I tried to explain that, an amateur like her just wouldn’t be ready to receive that wisdom.”

Pretty bold to boast about being a “veteran” after only knowing me for roughly a year, I thought. She’d somehow managed to distill, in only two sentences, the worst traits of a fan: the combative urges to spread the word and to one-up other fans.

And what was the point of saying any of this to me? Surely she didn’t expect me to be impressed...right?

“I mean, it just goes to show how fricking cool and hot you are, though, doesn’t it? How could anyone see through your ruse?”

I certainly didn’t mind being called “cool” or “hot,” but it was hard to be genuinely happy about the compliments when they came on the heels of Lilia bragging about being a “veteran fan” for no apparent reason.

To be fair, though, you could also make the argument that none of this would have ever happened if I’d half-assed my cross-dressing...

“Miss Saint?” a voice called from behind.

We turned around to see a man in the prime of his working years walking over to us. Presumably, he was a priest here from the church.

Once he reached us, he stopped and gave us an excessively polite bow.

“Thank you so much for your help today. As a man of God, there is truly no greater honor than seeing you perform your work up close, Miss Saint,” he said.

“O-Oh, it...it was nothing! Hee hee...HORF!” Lilia replied, waving her hand in protest.

I hadn’t heard that horrific, nerdy laugh of hers in some time, but her deep-seated discomfort around praise seemed to have unleashed it again from the depths. Apparently, time had done little to make her more comfortable receiving compliments—or maybe it was simply that her low self-esteem was slow to heal.

I couldn’t help but feel that her cute looks only made that awful laugh even more of an unfortunate trait.

The priest didn’t seem put off by it, though. On the contrary, he gave her a gentle smile and regarded her with nothing but reverence in his eyes.

Come to think of it, I’d almost forgotten—what with all her hell-raiser shenanigans—she wasn’t just a saint; she was a high saint.

“Long ago, our kingdom had a saint of our own,” the priest said.

“Y-You did?”

“Yes. Though I hear that was almost a century ago now.”

As he said that, I could have sworn I saw a trace of shadow cloud his smiling expression.

If my memory served, I was pretty sure that Lilia’s predecessor, the last saint in Diagrantz before her, had been alive until roughly fifty years ago. But apparently Normandius had been undergoing a much longer saintless stretch.

Huh. That probably explains why medical science is so much more advanced here than in our kingdom, I thought idly.

“We’ve heard tales of saints in neighboring kingdoms, yet only Diagrantz has been blessed with a saint of your powers,” the priest continued. Then, after a pause, he said, “No, forgive me... I shouldn’t speak like that. A saint is an agent of the Lord. As much as I may pray for one to bless our kingdom, it won’t do to succumb to envy.”

“E-Exactly. A saint is a gift from God, after all,” replied Lilia.

Isn’t that what you’re supposed to say about babies?

The priest lifted his head, as if to dispel the gloomy shadow that had come over him, and gave Lilia a warm smile.

“Behind this church is a temple we built for the generations of saints who have performed miracles for our kingdom. Would you like to see it?” he asked.

“Huh?”

“We typically forbid visitors, except on the one day of the year on which we perform the prayer rites, but...we can surely make an exception for a saint. On the contrary, it would be an honor for you to grace the temple with a visit.”

Lilia looked up at me pleadingly, begging me for her to rescue her from this situation, but I just looked away.

A temple, huh? Well, if you’re interested, then why not go and check it out?

Alone, I mean—I don’t have any pressing desire to see it, so I’ll just stay here and hang out with the kids.

I gave her a smile and a wave, trying to convey all of that as I saw her off. But she puffed out her cheeks in a sulk.

“There’s also a limestone cave near the temple that extends deep underground. I hear they used to call it a ‘dungeon,’ back in the day.”

“A...dungeon?” Lilia repeated, her eyes glistening.

I couldn’t blame her for being excited. The word “dungeon” had a certain ring to it; anyone with an interest in manga or video games couldn’t help but feel their ears perk up when they heard it.

And while they might have been a staple in video games, there weren’t any dungeons in modern-day Japan. Who wouldn’t want to see what they were like firsthand?

That being said...wanting to see what they were like and wanting to actually go inside were two very different matters.

“Ellie...” Lilia pleaded, looking up at me with her dewy, sparkly eyes.

The sight was enough to give me a serious case of cuteness aggression.

But I wasn’t about to let it overcome me.

“If you wanted to go dungeon diving, then maybe you should’ve been reincarnated into Monster H*nter or some kind of VRMMO.”

“If we could choose which game we got reincarnated into, then wouldn’t you be in Hidden Blade right now?” she shot back.

Touché.

If you could live a life surrounded by your favorite characters, why wouldn’t you? Obviously your favorite game would be your first pick for a reincarnation destination.

And, for the most part, it seemed safe to assume that people would generally pick peaceful games for their new lives. The kind of person who would choose to be reincarnated into a world overflowing with zombies—say, from a world of Evil Residents—would probably be in the minority.

“Well, if you want to check it out, you can do that by yourself.”

“But I don’t want to go by myself!” Lilia whined. “I want to go with you!”

“Why?” I asked, shaking her off as she tried to cling to my arm again.

“W-Well...because...”

She averted her eyes, touching her two index fingers together in a tent shape.

“What if there’s...you know...a trap or something? Aren’t you contractually obligated to protect me?”

“I never agreed to that.”

“And what if the trap gets our hearts pounding, like the suspension bridge effect where fear turns into the seeds of love? Maybe we’ll clasp hands, look each other in the eyes, and those seeds will blossom...”

Lilia just kept going on and on, a spellbound look on her face.

Halfway through her spiel, I’d completely lost interest. Instead, to pass the time, I’d started thinking about what kind of souvenirs I should bring back for my older brother. I’d bought a bunch of sweets for him without really thinking, but when I stopped to consider it, I felt like I ought to throw some savory souvenirs in the mix to balance it out a bit.

Anyway, if a little booby trap had the potential to make “seeds of love” blossom, then surely a dramatic escape from an exploding building would have done the trick already? It was hard to imagine anything more effective at causing the suspension bridge effect than that.

The classic dungeon trap—the first thing you thought of when you pictured a dungeon, really—was a huge boulder hurtling towards you through a tunnel just barely wide enough to fit it. But if it reached you, you were dead.

“I think I’ve already met my action quota for this trip, so I’d rather not get myself into any more trouble than I have to,” I said.

“Y-You have? When?”

“When I fended off those bandits, jumped into the lake to save Princess Marie, and had to catch Prince Edward after he jumped out of a window.”

“Well, I didn’t see any of that, so it doesn’t count!”

Will you please just stop making such a fuss, you hell-raiser heroine?

After a lot of “You’re coming with me!” and “No, I’m not” back and forth, Lilia finally sighed dramatically and gave up the rally.

“Fine. If you’re that against it, then you leave me no choice,” she said, shoving a hand into one of her coat pockets.

To be honest, I was surprised she could even fit anything in there. Anyone who looked at her coat would’ve thought those pockets were just for show. They looked way too shallow to actually store anything.

“I guess I’ll just have to open this medicine box!”

What’s going on here? I wondered. I had a bad feeling about where this was going. Wait...don’t tell me...

No, it can’t be. Edward told me he’d disposed of the final letter.

But just as I reached that conclusion, something hit me: These assholes are all in cahoots, aren’t they?

It explained a lot. Like, for instance, why Lilia had been surprisingly well-behaved before the masquerade ball. Edward had probably offered her the last letter in exchange for her not throwing a tantrum.

I knew that nothing would come of confronting Edward about it. If I did, he’d probably just play dumb and say something like, “I’m not psychic, Lizzie. It’s hardly my responsibility to anticipate that someone might pick up my trash.”

“Does this family crest ring a bell, per— Huh?!”

While Lilia was busy making a show of taking the letter out of the medicine box, I immediately snatched it out of her hands and stuffed it into my jacket pocket. It was a real pocket—not just for show—so the letter fit easily.

For several moments, Lilia just blinked repeatedly, dumbfounded. Finally, she realized that I’d stolen the letter and puffed out her cheeks in a sulk.

“Th-That was so rude! Everyone knows that you’re supposed to wait patiently for the elderly nobleman to take out his medicine box! I mean, that’s just standard procedure! It’s like how you have to wait patiently for the transformation sequence to be over!”

“As if any elderly noblemen would be opening their own medicine boxes.”

“Heh... Got you.”

Lilia, who had moments ago been pounding on my chest with her fists in a fit, suddenly stopped. Her lips twisted into a smirk.

There was a vicious glint in her eyes that sent chills down my spine. No matter how you spun it, it was the grin of a villainess.

“I figured this would happen, so I came prepared. I’ve committed the entire letter to memory! It’s all up here, in my head!” she cackled, puffing her chest out proudly.

I was stunned.

“I can’t believe you’d just go and open a letter addressed to someone else. That’s barbaric.”

“I don’t want to hear that from you, of all people,” she shot back.

Rude.

Okay, so maybe I was a bit lacking in the scruples department, but still... Even I had the right to be appalled by her behavior, given that she was not only opening someone else’s letter and reading it, but also memorizing it.

She must’ve misinterpreted my horror as doubt, because she went on to proclaim, somewhat desperately, “I-I really did memorize it, you know! Word for word! I’ll recite it for you, so you can follow along as you read the letter and see for yourself!”

If anything, that just made me even more horrified.

All I could think was, Oh my God, she really did memorize it all.

I really couldn’t let this hell-raiser saint out of my sight for even a moment, or God only knew what she’d do next.

It’s probably safest to keep her within eyesight at all times, I thought.

At this point, I had no choice but to put up my hands in a show of surrender.

“All right. I’ll go with you,” I conceded.

“Oh, come on! I went to a lot of trouble to memorize this, so at least let me recite it!” she whined, clinging to my arm.

She seemed to be confusing the means for the end. I’d never seen a worse case of putting the cart before the horse.

But she was being so persistent—insisting that she wouldn’t breathe a word of it to anyone else if I let her recite it (which of course implied that, if I didn’t, she would spread it like wildfire)—that I let her have her fun.

This is my final letter.

I can’t imagine that all three of these will be necessary, but I’ve written this third one just in case.

This is a memory from when you were still just a little girl. You must have been only five or six.

You came into my room in the middle of the night, saying you’d had a scary dream. We must have been staying at the villa in the duchy... It’s a lot older than the manor we call home in the capital, so spending the night there probably put you on edge.

I felt so bad for you when I saw you. You were so scared, you were shaking. When I asked you what you’d dreamed about, you just stayed silent. You climbed into bed with me, and the head maid brought up some warm milk. I still have a vivid memory of sitting next to you in bed drinking that milk together.

There was just a touch of honey in it too. We rarely got to drink something so sweet at such a late hour, so when we realized that, we both broke into smiles.

I think you felt better after warming up a bit with the milk, because you fell asleep straight after that. Your sleepiness must have been contagious, because just watching you was enough to put me to sleep too.

Looking back on it now, that was probably the last time that we fell asleep together. But when we were even younger, you, mother, and I would sometimes nap together, all three of us.

The next day, I tried asking you again what you’d dreamed about. You just looked at me blankly and said, “I forgot.”

That really cracked me up. It was so cute that I had to tell mother and father about it at breakfast. As the three of us laughed, you just sat there pouting.

“You’re such a meanie, big brother! I told you to keep that between us!” you said.

Even when you were pouting, you were irresistibly adorable. I apologized, trying to suppress my smile. But when mother and father saw that, they started laughing, and you became even more indignant.

I suppose that could count as a fight, couldn’t it? I don’t remember how I got you to forgive me for that, though... Do you, Lizzie?

But we were always so close after that, that I think we must have made up at some point.

Lizzie... Please hurry home, okay?

I just want to put this behind us.

“Too cute! Ahh, I just love these little boy Ellie stories.”

“I wasn’t a little boy back then, you know.”

I let out a sigh. Where did Lilia get all these weird ideas?

Why don’t you stop moving your mouth and start moving your feet instead?

“Why’re you so embarrassed by these letters, though? They’re just cute stories. If anything, the contrast between cute little Ellie and who you are now just sets my heart aflutter.”

“It’s hard to see that as a good thing when it’s an unintentional contrast.”

As the two of us talked, we made our way up the mountain path. It was too far out of the way for anyone to regularly service, so half of it was buried in tall weeds, and the coarse ground made a crunching noise beneath our feet as we walked.

Every once in a while, we’d come across some rough steps that probably used to be stairs at one point, so it seemed likely that the path had gotten a lot more use back in the day. But based on what the priest had told us, it rarely got any use now except for the one day of the year that they performed the ritual; maintaining it probably wasn’t a priority.

“What did you dream about as a little girl, I wonder?”

“Who knows? We don’t remember most of our dreams, right?”

“‘You’re such a meanie, big brother!’” Lilia said, imitating me. Then she broke into a giggle. “Hee hee... Hee hee hee! You know, the only people in the world who know about that cute story are your family...and me. Henh!”

“Okay, now you’re just creeping me out.”

We kept progressing up the mountain path, and eventually, we were close enough to the summit that the temple came into clear view. It was a surprisingly large structure for something that was built so deep in the mountains—probably even bigger than the guest villa we were staying at.

As we made our way farther up the path, it branched off into a crossroad.

I figured that the wider path probably led up to the temple. But our destination for today wasn’t the temple; it was the nearby limestone cave—or rather, the dungeon.

So, I headed down the narrower path.

I had almost no interest whatsoever in the dungeon, but I couldn’t say the same for Lilia. My priority was just getting home as soon as possible.

Let’s just get this over with, I thought.

The farther we made our way down the narrow path, the more the soil beneath our feet seemed to change consistency—as if it were hardened. Noticing that the ground was now easier to walk on, I took another step.

Then, unbidden, my brother’s letter came to mind.

He thinks he can say whatever he wants, just because he’s writing a letter. Give me a break, I thought.

The part about wanting to “put this behind us” really rubbed me the wrong way. Obviously, that was what I wanted too.

If he thought he was the only one who wanted to make up, then he was sorely mistaken.

◇◇◇

Even with how much I’d slowed down to match Lilia’s pace, it didn’t take long before we reached the limestone cave.

“Oooh... So, this is the dungeon...” Lilia muttered in amazement.

As I stood behind her, I peered into the limestone cave too.

I could understand how calling it a “dungeon” made the whole affair kind of exciting, but looking at it through the entrance like this, it just looked like a normal cave to me.

There was no save point at the entrance, nor was there a loading screen for the map to switch. I really didn’t feel much of any emotional response at all.

“Way to be a cold fish, Ellie! Can’t you at least act a little excited?” Lilia whined.

“Well, look... I know this is supposedly a ‘dungeon’ and all, but...so what? It’s not like there’s much magic in this world.”

“Yeah, but it’s still a dungeon! There may not be any monsters in here, but there might be treasure or something!”

“I dunno...” I said, stepping into the cave.

It really was just an ordinary cave. Judging from the echo of my footsteps, though, it was a pretty big one.

I took several steps forwards, then tapped the ground with my foot to check how it felt.

Hmm...

I wasn’t planning to stick around here long, and I figured that Lilia would probably be satisfied once we found something that counted as “treasure.” Besides, I was under no obligation to tackle this dungeon head-on.

So, I clenched my fist and slammed it onto the ground.

A thunderous roar echoed throughout the cave. Then a hole opened in the ground, growing bigger and bigger as its perimeter crumbled.

I jumped backwards, trying to avoid falling into it, and clapped the dirt off of my hands.

“Wh-Whoa! What the heck was that for?!”

“See that? You can’t go around breaking the walls and the floor of a dungeon that easily. Dungeons are indestructible. That’s how you can tell this is just a regular old cave.”

“You’re trying to break the dungeon?! Ellie! This place is a part of the temple grounds!” Lilia exclaimed, incredulous. Then she whispered, “Are we gonna incur some kind of divine punishment for this?”

Considering the state of our kingdom’s current saint, I couldn’t help but doubt how much power this temple actually held. Also, just saying: If I were in God’s shoes, I wouldn’t hesitate to take away her high saint’s powers. As far as I was concerned, all signs pointed to the conclusion that whatever God had reigned in this world was dead.

“Damn. Wish I’d brought a shovel,” I said.

“Like anyone would lend one to you after they asked what you wanted it for!”

“Okay, enough whining. Let’s go.”

“Huh?! Eeeeek!”

I scooped Lilia up from under her arms and jumped down into the hole I’d just made.

Based on everything I knew about dungeons, it seemed safe to assume that anything of note would be on the bottom level. That was the cliché, after all. So, why not just break open the floor and take a shortcut?

Every time it seemed like we were landing, we just broke right through the floor again and went down another level. By the time we finally landed for real, we were probably four levels below ground.

Lilia, who until just moments ago had been whining nonstop, was now silent. When I looked at her, it turned out she’d just passed out.

The expression on her face was completely unbecoming of an otome game heroine. In fact, it was the kind of expression you’d never expect to see on any cute girl.

I set her down on top of a boulder and slapped her cheeks a bit to wake her up. Finally, she regained consciousness.

“Wh-Who is this place?!” she cried, in what I could only assume was her attempt at asking, “Who am I, and what is this place?!”

“You’re our kingdom’s hell-raising saint, and you’re on the fourth underground floor of a dungeon,” I explained.

“Hell-raising saint?! Excuse you!”

Feels like a completely deserved label for someone who goes around calling my face “R-rated.”

I offered Lilia my hand and helped her up. Then I looked around. Even though we were apparently all the way on the fourth underground level, the lamps on the wall were lit.

The word “dungeon” usually called unexplored territory to mind, but this one seemed strangely civilized.

“Just as you’d expect in a dungeon, it’s well lit,” Lilia remarked.

“Pretty sure that’s only because people regularly visit,” I replied, trying to pick up on any presences nearby.

There didn’t seem to be anyone all that close...but there was definitely someone here with us. What exactly they were doing in this supposedly off-limits cave, though, was anyone’s guess.

I slammed my heel onto the ground, checking to see how sturdy it was. It seemed a whole lot sturdier than the floors above.

I couldn’t be sure that this was the lowest level, but from here on, I had a feeling that it would probably be quicker to take the official route down instead of trying to break the floor.

I struck the walls, checking how sturdy they were too. In spots, they seemed to be no less solid than the floors I’d broken through earlier.

Maybe I can’t take a vertical shortcut...but it looks like I can take a horizontal one.

“Huh...? What’s that?” Lilia said.

I followed her gaze to find a large rock with a sword sticking out of it.

The best way I could think of to describe it was that it looked like one of those classic sword-in-the-stone situations. You know, the one in all those legends where the guy who manages to pull it out is the true hero.

“O-Oh my God! Ellie... Are you thinking what I’m thinking?!”

Apparently Lilia had made the same connection. Her eyes sparkled with a fiery flame as she looked repeatedly between the sword and me.

“It’s the holy sword! Excalibur!”

“It’s definitely giving that vibe, yeah.”

“Ellie! You should try to pull it out!”

“If it’s a holy sword, then surely you’d have a better chance of that than I would?”

I watched as the hell-raiser—uh, excuse me, the saint—grabbed the sword’s hilt in her hands. She tried pulling it up, left, and right. Finally, she stepped up onto the stone and tried to leverage the force of her feet to yank it out.

But it didn’t budge.

She slumped down to the ground, dejected. Then she gently fixed her skirt, which had hiked up a bit from the effort.

“I... I don’t understand. I’m a saint. If I can’t pull the sword out, then who can?”

“Come to think of it, you always hear about female saints, but I’ve never heard of a male saint before. Seems kind of problematic. I dunno if that’s very PC.”

“Seriously? I can’t believe I’m hearing you talk about political correctness right now.”

As Lilia badgered me, I took the sword’s hilt in my hands and gave it a try too. But, as expected, it didn’t budge for me either.

If it really did hold some kind of holy power, then you’d think it would have repelled the touch of a villainess like me...but there was no sign of that.

And just like Lilia had said, it was hard to imagine anyone in this world with powers holier than hers. After all, Lilia was a literal saint.

So... Just who is this sword for, then? I wondered.

Lilia watched as I kept silently trying to pry the sword out.

Then she muttered, “What would be a saint’s male counterpart...? Wait, I know: A hero, right? Isn’t a hero a holy man?”

“Huh? No, I don’t think so... I mean, a hero’s a hero. That’s kind of its own thing.”

“But a hero receives divine protection from God, right? And doesn’t he use a holy sword?”

Huh. Fair point.

I could see where she was going with this now. In other words, a saint and a hero were basically the same thing, when you got right down to it.

“And there was a whole plotline in Royal LOVERS 2 about the saint and the hero, remember? So... Maybe there’s a parallel in this universe too,” Lilia said.

“Then, if this sword-in-the-stone thing works the way it usually does, you’re saying only a hero can pull it out?”

“Yeah. But if that’s how it works, then it doesn’t seem very PC that the high saint can’t pull it out,” she muttered.

Honestly, that was hardly surprising. Young male heartthrobs always got special treatment in otome games, and the world was designed around that principle.

That was just the way things worked here.

And anyway, even if Lilia had managed to pull the sword out, I couldn’t picture her being able to actually wield it.

It was too dangerous to let her handle a real blade, anyway. A plastic knife from one of those kids’ toy kitchen setups was probably the best bet for her.

Well... Crap, This Is Awkward

As the two of us stood in front of the sword, bickering back and forth over nothing, a strange sense of unease began to wash over me. I suddenly clammed up.

“Lilia...” I finally said.

“Yeah?”

“Get behind me.”

At this, Lilia ran over to me.

“Wh-What is it?” she asked.

“I can sense someone coming.”

With Lilia taking shelter behind my back, I started racking my brain. It seemed we were currently in one of the cave’s dead ends. There was only one way in or out of the hollow we’d landed in, and it was straight ahead of us.

Actually, I guess it would be more accurate to say that there were two, including the hole that we’d crashed in from. But the person approaching us wasn’t coming from above.

If whoever was coming was hostile, then my only choice was to engage them head-on. And unfortunately, I didn’t have my sword (which I’d bought at my own expense, by the way) on me today.

Generally, it was forbidden to bring weapons into the church. Plus, the only excuse I had for carrying a sword around with me in a foreign country was to protect the crown prince—and he wasn’t with us today.

But here’s a bit of irony I’d realized recently: For all the time and effort I’d poured into my swordsmanship, the percentage of times I had my sword on hand during scuffles was vanishingly small.

One of the biggest issues was that the world of Royal LOVERS was generally a pretty peaceful one, so carrying a sword around wasn’t really sanctioned outside of the training grounds and the knights’ patrol.

Fortunately, I was also pretty good at karate, so that wasn’t really a big issue for me. But still...part of the appeal of a knight is the sword they carry, right?

Maybe I should find a weapon I can conceal a little more easily, I thought, picturing one of those expandable batons that police officers always carried around in my past life.

I should at least consider carrying a knife or something in my pocket. I mean, even some young noblewomen conceal knives under their dresses, after all...

I could sense the nearby presence closing in on us. Then, I saw a man appear at the entrance.

He looked at us, and his eyes went wide.

“Hey! There’s someone in here!” he shouted.

At this, two other men appeared behind him.

The three of them were wielding swords and clubs. They were clearly on high alert—I could tell that they were ready to attack.

Hmm. Guess they must’ve come to check up on what was happening after they heard the ceiling crash in.

“You there! How’d you get in?” one of them asked us.

“From that hole,” I replied.

“Hole...? Wait, what the hell?!”

They all looked up at the hole suspiciously, then back at us. I know it would only make matters worse if they knew that we were responsible for it, so I just played dumb.

“Hey, don’t look at me,” I said.

“What’re you doing, bringing a girl in here with you? Are you tourists?”

“Something like that, yeah.”

“Well, how ’bout you leave the girl here and head on home, buddy?”

I looked behind at Lilia, who shook her head fervently.

“I don’t have any objections to that idea, but apparently she does,” I told the men, shrugging.

“Ellie!” Lilia hissed.

Come on, no need to get your panties in a twist over a little joke...

There were only three of them. It was hardly the kind of dire situation where I’d have to leave Lilia here and make a run for it.

The first order of business was getting my hands on a weapon.

I stealthily sneaked up to one of the men. Then I twisted his arm and stole the sword from his hand.

“What the— Guh?!”

The moment he realized that his sword had been stolen, I was already jabbing its hilt into the back of his neck.

Then the man next to him realized what I’d done too and brandished his club at me.

I moved to parry it, but...my sword immediately broke. The man’s club was in pretty poor shape, but apparently, the sword I’d just stolen was even brittler.

I leaped behind him and put some distance between myself and the remaining two men. Then I tossed my broken sword and faced the man with the club again.

It was a pretty standard club—reasonably long and fat. It had some sort of metal coating too, but other than that, there wasn’t all that much unusual about it.

Weird... I feel like I’ve seen a club like that before somewhere, I thought.

That’s when it hit me: I had seen a club like that before. One of the would-be kidnappers who’d planned to attack our carriage envoy on our journey to the West had brandished a club just like this one.

There’d been less metal coating his, but other than that, his club had looked eerily similar.

Now that my memory had been jogged, I took a closer look at the men. The skirtlike loincloths they wore seemed familiar too.

Even their order to “leave the girl” seemed like a connection. According to what Christopher had said, the bandits we’d encountered on the road had been trying to kidnap women too.

The club I’d stolen from one of those thugs had been ridiculously heavy—so much so that I’d assumed it must have been coated with some special, heavy-duty metal.

If this guy had a club coated with the same kind of metal...then a regular old sword would probably be no match for it. No wonder the sword I’d stolen earlier had broken.

With Lilia hiding behind my back, I had no weapon to close the distance between the men and me.

Huh... What now? I wondered.

“E-Ellie...!” Lilia said, grabbing my arm tightly from behind me.

I looked over at her, hoping to calm her down.

The next second, something flashed before my eyes.

A scrap of metal on my shoulder—maybe a fragment of the broken sword, or maybe a scrap of the club’s metal coating that had been shaved off—started glowing.

That light... It’s...

There was no mistaking it: It looked just like the glowing effect I’d seen when Lilia had awakened to her high saint’s powers.

When the club-wielding man saw what was happening, he shrieked, “It’s her! She’s the girl!”

The other man threw something down at the ground. In seconds, the smell of gunpowder assaulted my nostrils. The sound of fireworks followed, and smoke filled the air.

It wasn’t hard to figure out what that was for: He was summoning reinforcements.

“It’s the saint! Don’t let her get away!” he cried.

“Huh? Huh?!”

Lilia still seemed to be trying to connect the dots, so I picked her up and hoisted her up over my shoulder.

To be fair, I hadn’t connected all the dots yet either, but I had a pretty good idea of what was likely to happen next.

We were living in the world of an otome game—or maybe the world of its manga adaptation. The only reasonable thing to assume was that these thugs were after the main character.

The hole in the ceiling was unfortunately too high up to reach, and the two men were blocking the only other way out of the hollow. Before long, their friends would probably show up too. They clearly had the advantage.

Even if we managed to escape the hollow, taking the official route out would only put us at a disadvantage later. So that really didn’t leave us with much choice... We had to find another way out.

With Lilia still hoisted over my shoulder, I kicked a nearby boulder as hard as I could. As the boulder startled crumbling, I shoved my hand inside of it and gripped...the hilt.

Then, focusing all of my strength, I swung the sword around with all my might.

A thunderous roar sounded, and the wall in front of me smashed into pieces. Kicking at the ground, I ran towards the next wall. Through the cloud of dust, I kicked that wall down too.

“Gah! Hrk! Hrrrk!” Lilia coughed.

I hadn’t exactly warned her that I was about to start kicking up a bunch of dust, so I couldn’t blame her for not being prepared.

On second thought, though, it was probably just that her internal organs were under a lot of pressure right now—you know, from being slung over my shoulder and all.

I ran and ran until I hit a dead end. Then I swept my blade sideways again.

“H-Huuuh?!” Lilia yelped madly.

I struck the wall down to reveal a passageway on the other side.

Nice. I can probably just keep doing this until I find a path that eventually spits me out outside, I thought. Oh, wait... Kind of forgot I’m four levels underground.

“Ellie, is that the sacred sword you’re holding?!”

“Well, this was the only weapon I could get my hands on, so...”

“You pulled it out of the stone?!”

“I just broke the stone around it, actually.”

“That was genius!” Lilia exclaimed. Then she muttered, “You’re like a real-life Ikkyu-san... I didn’t even know something like that was possible.”

I didn’t know how I felt about being compared to a little anime monk boy, but I figured that was a compliment. In any case, whether it was possible or not, the reality was that I’d smashed the stone around it...so who cared?

If you want to grumble about it, then file your complaint with this universe for basically having no magic except for yours.

Actually, feel free to take it up with this so-called sacred sword too.

“The only thing that seems special about this sword is how ridiculously heavy it is,” I said.

“Huh?”

“Swinging swords isn’t usually a problem for me, but I’m just barely able to maneuver it. It’s too heavy to properly aim at anything.”

This sacred sword didn’t seem to be good for very much, actually. It was just a massive pain to lug around.

Come to think of it... Lilia and I probably just convinced ourselves that it’s a sacred sword because it looked just like Excalibur in that stone, but no one actually told us that’s what it was.

Lilia looked up at me, blinking. Then she gave me an inscrutable smile.

“M-Maybe...it wasn’t meant for humans?” she suggested.

“What do you mean?”

I ought to just leave you here and go home, you hell-raiser.

“I mean, come on... Its heaviness can’t be the only thing special about it. That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard!”

“Well, that guy’s club was a lot heavier than it looked. It’s basically the same idea, right?”

“Oh...” Lilia blurted quietly. “Come to think of it, that metal earlier...”

“That glowing thing, you mean?”

“Yeah,” she replied, nodding.

That had taken me by surprise too. Even in a world almost completely devoid of any magic, it was hard to imagine that that sudden glow could have been anything else.

That being said...the “no magic exists in this world” rule had an important asterisk. And next to the asterisk was “except when related to saints.”

Magic was just something that happened when the main-character-slash-saint, Lilia, was involved. So, when that metal had started glowing before, I’d kind of just nodded along and thought, vaguely, Sure, that makes sense.

“It was kind of like one of the high saint CGs, don’t you think?”

“I dunno how it works, but maybe the ore here just lights up whenever a saint touches it?” I suggested, just thinking aloud.

Lilia shot me down immediately.

“Is that the best you could come up with?”

“I thought it was a perfectly reasonable idea...”

For all her talk about how “heartless” I was, Lilia could be pretty scathing herself.

“The moment those thugs saw the metal glow, they said, ‘It’s her!’ Remember?”

“Yeah. They were looking for a saint, right?”

“But why?”

“’Cause...the main character is a saint?”

“Hmm...” Lilia hummed, sounding unconvinced. “I mean, that is the simple explanation. But...there must be something else. Even if it’s just an obvious plot device, they must have some other reason.”

Some other reason, huh? I thought, racking my brains.

The most straightforward explanation for why they’d want to get their hands on a saint was that they had someone they wanted her to heal, right?

It seemed pretty unlikely that the three men we encountered earlier were the only ones here in the cave, especially considering I’d sensed some people farther in the dungeon. And if there were enough of them to be a crew, then it would make sense if they were working in the shadows for someone with power.

But that conclusion brought a sense of unease.

Edward had come here to the West to get treatment for his terminal disease. I didn’t know the specifics, but obviously there were health professionals here who could perform surgery that wasn’t really offered back home in our kingdom. Presumably, Edward had come here to get that surgery, and he’d come back all better.

To put it simply, the medical treatments available here in the West were far more advanced than what we had in Diagrantz. If someone needed healing, then wouldn’t it have been a lot more cost effective to just pay someone to perform the surgery? Why waste your time hiring a bunch of thugs to search for a saint who, as far as you were aware, might not even exist?

So...Occam’s razor wasn’t going to help here. But if they didn’t want a saint in order to heal someone, then why else would they be so hell-bent on finding her?

I thought back to the men we’d encountered earlier, picturing them.

They seemed to be pretty adept fighters, but they looked more like thugs than proper mercenaries.

They had the same clubs as the kidnappers we’d encountered on the road, but maybe that was just because they were a popular choice here in the West?

Or maybe...

Suddenly, I remembered something.

“Hey, those guys we just escaped from were wearing loincloths, right? They looked pretty similar to whatever those bandits-slash-kidnappers wore—the ones I fought off on the road over.”

“Loincloths...? Ooh. Yeah, they had some geometric patterns on them or something, didn’t they?” Lilia said, drawing something with the tip of her finger on the back of my hand. As if that was going to tell me anything.

I stopped walking and watched her carefully.

You know, now that you mention it... It was something like that, wasn’t it? I thought. That was about the extent of my light bulb moment, though. The only thing I could remember about the pattern was that it was blue on white, with some sort of teacup-looking design.

I cocked my head, trying to recall more, but Lilia just ignored me and soldiered on.

“When I saw that, I was like, ‘Wait a second...’” she said. “’Cause it’s the symbol of Saintism.”

“Saintism?”

“Yeah. There’s a whole denomination that worships saints, and considers them to be on equal footing with God. Apparently, there’s a whole bunch of Saintists in the countryside.”

Right... I thought. When you got right down to it, all religion basically stemmed from local customs and culture. Christianity and Buddhism, for example, came in all sorts of different variations, and practices varied wildly depending on the region. In some regions, mountains were thought to house deities, and in others, animals were thought to house them. In some regions, idolatry in general was expressly forbidden.

If there was a denomination that considered saints and God to be separate entities, then it would hardly be unusual for there to be one that considered them to be the same.

From the sound of it, the guys we’d encountered here in the cave—who probably belonged to the same group as the would-be kidnappers we’d subdued on the way to the West—were members of a Saintist denomination.

If they were, then it wouldn’t be out of the question for them to have set up their base here in the dungeon, near the temple to saints.

“We typically forbid visitors,” huh? A likely story...

I looked up at Lilia, who was still slung over my shoulder.

“You won’t mind if I just hand you over to them then, will you? Sounds like they’re ready to worship the ground you walk on—literally.”

“D-Don’t you dare! They probably want to steal my liver and grind it up into some herbal remedy!”

You think all your powers come from your liver? What are you, a bear?

Personally, I found it pretty hard to imagine them harvesting the organs of someone they believed to be on par with God. But maybe I was just being too optimistic.

Lilia shook her head.

“Medical technology is pretty advanced here in the West, right? They even offer traditional medicine and surgery. It feels like they’re making some pretty big leaps and bounds.”

I nodded. There was no denying that the field of medicine was advanced here.

“Even at the church we were just visiting, there are a bunch of healers who offer treatment to anyone who visits the church—even the poor. Everyone seems super grateful for their help.”

“Huh. So there are quite a few out there, huh?”

This time, Lilia nodded. Then she continued, in the kind of eerie tone you might use to tell a spooky story, “At some point, surely the question starts popping into everyone’s minds: ‘Wait a second... Do we even need a saint?’”

Oddly enough, that was exactly the thought I’d been entertaining.

Actually, upon further reflection...maybe there wasn’t anything all that odd about it. Lilia and I were working off the same information, so I guess it was only natural that we’d come to the same conclusion.

Plus, it was a pretty logical one. Who wouldn’t wonder about that?

“But for Saintists, that’s a really dangerous question to be flying around, right?”

“True...”

“For the most part, donations from the rich fund the church’s continued existence. Which is to say...without that money, the church wouldn’t be able to continue operating.”

“It’s a tough world out there.”

In the end, it wasn’t really about God or saints; it was about money. Funny how that worked, considering the tax-exempt status that religious institutions enjoyed. (Not that I had any clue about their tax status in this universe.)

Still, Lilia had a point. Just maintaining the church and orphanage facilities must have cost a small fortune. Sure, they were a charitable organization...but without the funds, that charity would come to a halt.

And from the donors’ perspective, why would they give money to a useless cause?

Saints had fallen out of favor, so there probably weren’t many noble families who would be willing to make new donations to a religion who worshipped them. What’s more, the noble families who’d already donated were probably eager to recoup their investments.

The only way for Saintists to reassert their influence and regain donations was to trot out a saint powerful enough to silence the healers.

To sum it up, these guys in the cave weren’t looking for a saint as part of some purehearted search for salvation; their motivations were far more worldly and corrupt.

“Their funding and livelihoods are at stake, so it makes sense they’d be on a desperate hunt for a saint,” Lilia said.

I nodded.

“They probably wouldn’t be too fussed about their appearances either, right?”

I nodded again. “So that means the kidnappers were trying to find a saint too?”

This time, Lilia nodded. “Maybe you were right earlier...about that ore lighting up whenever a saint touches it. If it’s some kind of handy saint-finding item, then they’d be able to tell pretty quickly if they’d found a saint or not,” she said.

The dots were all starting to connect.

If whatever mastermind was behind all of this could find out whether or not someone was a saint just by making them touch some rock, then they didn’t need to resort to any complicated schemes. They could just hire a bunch of random Saintist thugs to kidnap girls one after another until they got their hands on one.

As for what they did with all the girls who weren’t saints, well...that was probably up to the kidnappers to decide.

“I just had a thought. This probably explains the masquerade ball kidnappings too, right? I bet they just pressed that saint-finder rock against each of those girls while they were asleep,” Lilia said.

“Never heard of that fetish before.”

“Seriously, though... I think we’re dealing with some really bad people.”

Kidnapping commoner girls would cause plenty of fuss too, but a missing young noblewoman would turn into a massive uproar. If the kidnappers had felt sure that they’d successfully kidnap a saint on their first try, then it could have just been a one-and-done deal. But they knew a failed attempt—if it went public—would put the other young noblewomen on high alert, making it exceedingly difficult to make any further attempts.

They must have done a cost-benefit analysis and realized that conducting their searches during high society parties, when the young ladies were asleep, would minimize the risk of word getting out substantially. They would disappear temporarily, but would be returned by the end of the night. The only young lady they’d actually kidnap would be a saint, once they’d successfully identified her.

If that was their MO, then it explained why all of the young women who’d gone missing during the balls had been able to return home unharmed—because none of them had been the actual target.

It was the aristocracy that sustained the church (and religion more broadly), so it stood to reason that a noble was behind this. And with a noble’s connections, sneaking a few thugs into a masquerade ball would be a piece of cake.

The attacker I’d fought off the night of the ball was probably some mercenary hired by a noble. He’d certainly been a tougher opponent than these guys we’d run into here in the cave.

Then there was the man whose face Edward had claimed to have seen... Was he the nobleman behind all of this?

Come to think of it, I’d completely forgotten to ask him about that. I guess it had kind of gotten lost in all of the chaos of Princess Marie’s little stunt last night.

I wasn’t too concerned about that, though. Edward had a special way of getting shit done, so he was probably well on the way to apprehending the aristocrat by now.

“Anyway, that’s probably the long and short of it. If these Saintists and the aristocrat behind them are running around like headless chickens trying to find you...then we can only assume that the current score in this universe is saints: 0, healers: 1,” I said.

Putting it all together like that, the current crisis felt unavoidable. If you asked me, the kingdom was probably much better off pouring their resources into healers who could study medicine and put their knowledge to use, instead of placing all of their bets on a saint to show up and save them God-knows-when. But in the eyes of the Saintists, their only hope now was to show the kingdom the power of a saint firsthand.

“But, um, the thing is...the saint they’re looking for is just a hack who can barely heal scrapes and bruises, right? I mean, the crown prince of her kingdom had to travel abroad to seek treatment from foreign healers,” Lilia said, looking uncomfortable as she poked her index fingers together in a tent shape.

At this point, Lilia had awoken to her high saint’s powers, but back when Edward had gone to Normandius for treatment, she really hadn’t been able to heal much more than a scrape or a bruise.

“So, I just can’t help but wonder...what would happen if they found out I was actually just a useless failure of a saint?”

“At that point, they’d probably come for your liver.”

“I-I knew it!”

Lilia broke out into a shaking fit.

Ah. No wonder she seemed so spooked, I thought.

“You two are from Diagrantz?” a voice called out, accompanied by the sound of dirt crunching under someone’s feet.

I turned around to see the man with the club from before standing in front of us. But there weren’t just one or two of them now; dozens of them crowded the passageway...and if I counted the ones I couldn’t see, but could sense approaching us from nearby, then there were probably even dozens more than that.

The man who’d spoken earlier glanced at Lilia and said, “Don’t worry, little miss. We’d never kill a saint.”

“Phew...”

“But once we get rid of your gentleman friend...no one else will know you’re the saint of Diagrantz.”

“Hwha?!” Lilia shrieked.

I found the whole situation hilarious, but it was obvious that I was alone in that, so I did my best to hold back my laughter.

“E-Ellie...”

Lilia gripped my arm tightly.

“It’ll be okay,” I reassured her.

I slid her off of my shoulder and stepped in front to cover her.

All of this was unfolding pretty much as I’d expected it to.

I’d sensed that there were a lot of people here in the cave, and I’d felt them closing in on us. But instead of running, I’d decided to wait at a dead end.

I know it sounds crazy that I’d just stand here and let them corner us, but I had a plan. It revolved around the wind-like noise I heard on the other side of the wall.

There was a good chance that just beyond that wall...was open air.

The thugs had the advantage both in numbers and in position. That meant that we stood the best chance if we could draw them close to us and make a getaway. It’d be a whole lot easier to deal with them this way than if we found ourselves outflanked.

I gripped the ridiculously heavy sword I’d somehow managed to haul around with me and brandished it.

When the man we’d been speaking to saw it, his eyes lit up.

“Th-That sword... How did you...?”

“I just broke the stone around it and grabbed it.”

“Do you have any idea what you’re holding?!”

“Uh... The legendary sacred sword?”

Actually, I had no clue. No one had told Lilia or me what it was, but we’d just kind of jumped to assumptions from some memory of a similar-looking sword we’d conjured up from our past lives.

Honestly, though, I’d lived for eighteen odd years in this world as a reincarnator, and this was probably my first time getting to casually flaunt knowledge I wasn’t supposed to have.

Huh. Kind of expected this moment to be a little more satisfying.

It was such a popular trope that I thought I’d enjoy getting to experience it in real life a bit more, but alas. Maybe I had my lack of game-breaking abilities to blame for that.

“That sword you’re holdin’ is the stuff of legends, all right. Long ago, a saint was said to have wielded it. They say she quelled a nationwide epidemic with a single swing.”

“A foreigner like you would have no idea how priceless it is. You can’t just pick it up and swing it around like it’s any old sword.”

I looked at the sword in my hands. I had no idea how much of what he was saying was actually true, but honestly, it didn’t look like much of a wonder-worker to me. All I could see was a worn-out blade.

That being said, I’d never been especially “in touch” with the supernatural—neither in this life, nor in my past.

The sword didn’t even light up like that handy saint-finding ore or anything. The only thing of note about it was how insanely heavy it was. If this legendary saint of yore had really been able to swing it around, then she must’ve been a real tank. Clearly, she was the kind of saint who was fit for a battlefield.

You know, a saint is probably a whole lot more useful on the front lines than being slotted into the role of a healer, I found myself thinking.

The looks on the men’s faces grew increasingly more severe as they glared at me, but I just shrugged them off.

If they were getting this pissed about the sword, then they obviously weren’t just random mercenaries; they must’ve been Saintists themselves. There was no doubt that their goal was to secure more funding for the church...but that didn’t seem to mean that their religious beliefs weren’t also a motivating factor.

“I’ll return it once I’ve finished my business here,” I said.

“What business?”

I gripped the sword tightly with both hands. Then I planted my feet so firmly on the ground that it cracked beneath them, and my shoes sank into the cave’s floor.

There was no need to get fussy about where I aimed my blow, because my target was the entire wall.

I took in a deep breath and held it aloft.

As I exhaled softly, I swung the sword with all my might.

Ka-thunk!

A dull sound echoed throughout the cave, and a crack split open in the wall.

I picked Lilia up and prepared to kick the fissure, opening it enough so that we could make our escape.

But not so fast...

A huge gush of water suddenly began to burst out of the crack in the wall.

“Huh?”

“Wha?!”

There was no need for me to kick the crack open. The wall was collapsing without my help...thanks to the enormous torrent of water flooding in from the outside.

Man... At the rate my life is going lately, death by drowning is starting to feel like a distinct possibility.

As the water came flooding in, it swirled around our feet and knocked everyone in the cave off-balance.

It seemed I had correctly surmised that crashing through the wall would get us outside. Unfortunately, though, “outside” wasn’t the open-air expanse I’d been hoping for, but a waterfall basin.

Guess this means the “wind” I heard on the other side of the wall was actually water...

I’ll admit it: I’d screwed up. Big time.

I let go of the sword. There was no way I was hauling that big hunk of metal around—not unless I wanted to drown.

Then I reached out and grabbed hold of Lilia’s arm.

“Whatever you do, don’t let go,” I warned her.

That was apparently all she needed to hear, because she grabbed onto my arm tightly.

I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her waist tightly. The water was pouring into the cave, filling it at a rapid pace, and in moments, it reached the ceiling. As the water swallowed us, I let myself be carried away on its current.

Fortunately, the water was crystal clear, because the situation would’ve been a whole lot worse if it was clouded with debris.

Well... I’m sure we’ll get out of here somehow, I thought as I let the water carry us through the cave. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the loincloth thugs being swept away in the torrent too.

Each time we came close to crashing into a wall, I just stuck my feet out and kicked away. But for the most part, I just sat back and relied on the current.

Fortunately, the water was rushing through too quickly for us to drown. I felt like we’d gotten the Bullet Bill power-up from Mari* Kart. We were just cruising at a rapid clip down the race track without even having to drive.

But we couldn’t just keep coasting along the current forever.

I had some experience swimming in plain clothes from the training grounds, but that hadn’t really involved long intervals of diving. I could probably only hold my breath for a maximum of five or six minutes.

I was a lot more concerned about Lilia’s limits than my own, though, because I had a feeling she was already close to reaching hers. I probably should’ve asked her in advance how long she could hold her breath underwater...

We needed to get the hell out of here. I tightened my arms around Lilia and kicked the next wall that we approached as forcefully as I could.

I managed to make a big dent in it, but it wasn’t enough to break open a hole.

Huh. Guess the walls here are thicker.

As the current continued to carry us, I kept watch for another opportunity. It felt like we were going to keep going in a straight line for a while, and the current seemed to be picking up speed.

If I can use that momentum to my advantage...then maybe next time, I’ll have a real shot.

Then I spotted another wall in the distance.

Usually, I’d take in a big breath to help activate my muscles...but obviously, that wasn’t going to be possible right now. So, instead, I just drew my leg close to my body and tried to build up as much force as I could muster.

Not yet, I thought, as I approached the wall. Just a bit farther...

I needed to wait until the last moment, unleashing all of the energy only just as we were about to collide with the wall.

I readied my aim, and—

KA-BAM!

The wall collapsed, and a deafening rumble filled the cave. The force of the current, along with my kick, had been enough to break it open.

In the next moment, I felt my body floating in the air.

I took in a huge breath, trying to fill my lungs with as much oxygen as possible.

Ahhh... I can’t wait to get back to solid land, where we humans belong. We really weren’t built to spend this long away from the soil and the air.

Then the floating-in-air sensation came to a sudden end, and we found ourselves plunging into the water again with a giant splash.

As far as I could tell, the dungeon—er, the cave—was connected to the mountain path. Even though we’d crashed through the cave’s floor until we’d reached four levels below the entrance, I’d assumed that we weren’t actually underground, per se, since the entrance had been at the top of the mountain.

That’s why I’d kicked through the wall.

Water was flowing from the cave not just where I’d kicked through the wall, but in other places too, and all of it seemed to be converging into a river—which Lilia and I were currently right smack in the middle of.

The volume of water in the river seemed to suddenly rise exponentially, threatening to flood. The river grew wider and wider, and the current picked up significant speed.

It was nice to be able to pop my head up every once in a while for a breath, but it was a Herculean feat trying to fight the current. I had to, though, because we were going to be in big trouble if the current carried us to the cliffs of a waterfall or something.

I had no choice but to look for an opening to swim to shore when we reached a narrower junction in the river.

As I was planning that out, I spotted a fallen tree that had gotten stuck in the river, unmoved by the current. I immediately reached out to grab onto one of the branches.

With the log as a buffer against the current, I was able to anchor myself in place. Having finally found a moment of relief, I took in another deep breath.

Unfortunately, though, the tree trunk was just barely hanging in there against the current. It was stuck on the riverbank for now, but I had no idea when the river would unmoor it and sweep it away. I wondered if it would hold on long enough for me to climb up onto it and reach the riverbank.

Okay... How should I handle this?

Just as I started racking my brains, I heard a girl’s voice call out to me.

“Eriiiic!”

It was exactly the kind of voice you’d expect to belong to a blonde, pigtailed tsundere girl.

Then a javelin pierced the tree trunk I was holding on to.

My eyes followed the gently bent javelin’s trajectory, retracing its journey back to Princess Marie, who I could see waving at us far in the distance on the opposite shore.

I couldn’t believe she’d managed to successfully hit the tree trunk from so far away.

Wait, what is she even doing carrying that around with her in the first place? I wondered. Did she bring that into the church?

Come to think of it, she’d whipped out a spear back when we’d had our duel, so maybe it wasn’t out of the ordinary for her to carry a weapon around for self-protection.

The fact that her guards let her walk around armed suggested that she probably knew what she was doing. If she were a baseball player, she’d probably be a great pitcher.

The end of the javelin was connected to a rope, which Princess Marie’s guards were holding on to tightly and tying around large trees and boulders near the shore.

Okay, come on... You don’t need to take it that far, I thought. Just how heavy do you think I am?

I grabbed hold of the rope tightly and was relieved that it felt taut in my hands.

As long as I didn’t let go of the rope, I felt confident that I could just follow it to the shore. Even with the fast current, it would be a hell of a lot easier to get to shore this way than taking a gamble and swimming over unsupported.

Holding on to Lilia with one arm, I used my other arm to haul us in, and we made it to the riverbank without any major issues.

Whew... Feels like it’s been ages since I last set foot on land. Sure, I made contact with land when I kicked the wall, I guess...but I don’t think that counts.

“Thank you, Princess Marie. You’re a lifesaver,” I said, clearing my bangs from my face.

“Well, don’t get any funny ideas! I was just repaying a debt, that’s all!”

Her response could have won a full one hundred points for the perfect tsundere reply.

“What were you doing here, though?” I asked.

“Her Highness wanted to apologize to you,” one of her guards answered for her.

“H-Hey! It’s...it’s not like I wanted to apologize that badly...” Princess Marie began to protest, shaking her head in a fluster. But the deep red blush that spread across her face made it hard to believe her.

Her fists were clenched, and she looked tense. But eventually, she let out a sigh, and her shoulders relaxed.

“But... I am sorry,” she said in an uncharacteristically meek tone.

I took a peek at her face. She was twirling the end of one of her pigtails around her finger as she muttered, faltingly.

“I... I don’t know anything about your circumstances. I’m sure...you have good reasons for dressing like a man...right?”

Well...crap, this is awkward.

Her question left me stumped, because actually, I didn’t have good reasons. I had absolutely nothing to say for myself.

Actually, to give myself some credit, I did have pretty good reasons for dressing like this until about half a year ago. I didn’t really have any reasons to keep doing it after that point, though. I kind of just kept doing it because it was easier to keep going, I guess—or ’cause I didn’t really know how to stop. But that was about it.

Then Princess Marie continued, completely oblivious to the cold sweat running down my back, “But now everyone knows your secret...and it’s all my fault...”

Her tone was painfully earnest.

Little did she know that everyone already knew my secret—at least, everyone from Diagrantz.

Honestly, I didn’t really care at all if everyone from the West found out at this point either. Now that we’d settled the matter with Dee and my brother (although we didn’t need to get into the ethics of how we had settled it), it really didn’t matter if word got out.

I didn’t want to pour cold water on Princess Marie by telling her any of that when she was being so earnest about everything, though. Plus, I had a feeling she might be pretty pissed about it. So, instead, I adopted a mysterious, unreadable expression.

Princess Marie looked up at me, and when she saw my expression, she suddenly seemed to steel her resolve.

Pursing her lips, she declared, “Th-That’s why I’ve decided...you can have at least one more helping hand from me! If you find yourself in trouble, just count on me to save you!”

“Pfft... Hah hah!”

Her tsundere characterization was flawless, right down to the way she apologized. I couldn’t help but laugh at what a perfect archetype she was.

It was an outstanding performance, truly. It took everything I had to restrain myself from giving her a standing ovation.

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Wh-Why’re you laughing? It’s not funny!”

“You’re just too cute,” I said, trying to rein in my laughter.

Princess Marie turned beet red.

“Wha...?! I...!”

Her mouth flapped open and closed like a koi fish gulping for air. Then, suddenly, she turned away dramatically in a pout.

“D-Don’t think I’ll let you dupe me again!”

“I’m not trying to dupe you,” I began to protest. “Okay... Maybe I am.”

“I knew it!”

She puffed her cheeks out, furious.

Whoops. Looks like I’ve upset her again, I thought. But I just gave her a little shrug, trying to laugh it off.

“I bear some blame for making you think I was a man, so I’d say we’re even. Let’s call it a draw, shall we?”

“A draw...?”

“I can’t deny that I toyed with your purehearted feelings for me. And for that, I’m sorry,” I said, trying to sound as sincere as I could manage. (And honestly, to some extent, I was sincere.)

I was sure that she’d find someone new to crush on in no time, but when I thought about it...she probably would’ve been better off if she’d just kept crushing on Edward, considering their social standing and the national interests of our kingdoms.

And the person responsible for forcing her to stray from that path was me.

“It’s... It’s not like I’d ever fall in love with someone like you, okay?”

“Is that so?”

“But...” Princess Marie looked up at me, and I could feel her golden eyes boring into me. “I don’t hate you either.”

“Is that so?”

“Y-Yeah! So don’t get a big head about it!” she exclaimed, trotting out another classic tsundere line like she was leaving me with a brutal parting shot.

I found myself bursting into laughter again, despite my best efforts.

She really is just too cute... I hope she never gets duped by another lout like me, I thought.

I’d just have to make sure that Richard knew to keep her in check.

“Anyway, is she okay?”

“Pardon?”

“That girl looks...kind of dead,” Princess Marie said, pointing at me—or more accurately, pointing at Lilia, who was still in my arms.

I followed her gaze to look at Lilia for myself. Her eyes weren’t rolled to the back of her head or anything, but they were shut tight.

Her hand still clung to my shirt tightly, though.

“Lilia?” I tried, shaking her a bit.

But there was no response—it seemed pretty clear that she’d passed out.

I set her down on the ground and tried shaking her by the shoulders again.

And again...no response.

I pressed my ear to her chest, checking to see if I could hear a heartbeat. Unfortunately, my ears were still too full of water to hear anything.

“Lilia? Li-li-aaa?” I tried, slapping her across her cheeks lightly, but there was no response.

I waved my hand over her nose and mouth.

Wait...

She’s...not breathing?

That couldn’t be right. The game’s timeline might have come to an end, but she was still the main character.

Both the original Royal LOVERS and its sequel had nice, happy storylines that took place in a peaceful universe. No matter how dire things got, the main character never actually died.

Plus, it was hinted that she was still around in the sequel, which took place five years after the main game. So, there was just no way that Lilia could die here.

And what about her Auto Recovery cheat? I know she hadn’t actually really put them to use yet, but her high saint powers were the real deal. Surely they’d be enough to save her, even if she’d died.

Yeah. There’s no way that Lilia would die here, I thought.

I was probably just mistaken about her not breathing. Or maybe she’d stopped breathing for a bit just to play a prank.

There was no way she was dead.

That didn’t make any sense...

But...

I looked at Lilia, who was still lying on the ground. Then I touched her cheek.

Her face was as white as a sheet, and her skin felt cold to the touch.

Lilia... Come on!

I know you’re not dead. Just please start breathing already.

I placed one hand on her forehead and took her chin in the other, checking her airway.

Then I steadied my breath and began to resuscitate her.

I placed the heel of my right palm just below her sternum, right in the center. Then I placed my left hand on top and clasped my fingers together.

Aligning my torso so that my shoulders were square over my hands, I pressed my palms down, using the force of my body weight, applying pressure until they sank about four or five centimeters into her chest.

“Gwaah?!”

With just one press, Lilia came back to life.

I felt all of the tension immediately leave my shoulders.

Seriously? So she was just playing dead after all?

“Y-You don’t know your own strength, Ellie! You could have crushed me!”

“Well, in a life-or-death situation, you’re supposed to give someone chest compressions even if it breaks their ribs.”

“Forget about my ribs! You could’ve broken my spine!”

Lilia broke out into a coughing fit as she protested, but it was hard to feel sorry for her. If anyone ought to have been complaining, it was me.

I crossed my arms and glared at her.

“You picked a pretty lousy time to play dead. What’s wrong with you?”

“Well, I just thought... I just thought you might try to revive me with a little mouth-to-mouth...”

“Not a chance.”

I stood up, leaving Lilia on the ground.

The thing is, mouth-to-mouth wasn’t as straightforward as they made it look in anime and TV shows. I’d heard that people often screw it up if they don’t know what they’re doing, so apparently you’re better off just sticking to chest compressions.

I’d picked the most effective lifesaving method I knew of, so honestly, it was ridiculous to suggest I should have done anything differently.

Lilia sniffled. “And here I thought it was the perfect chance to feel your lips on mine...”

I sighed as I watched her hang her head, dejected.

“I can’t believe I wasted my time worrying about you.”

Even if our lips had touched, it would have only been to save her life, so it’s not like it would have meant anything. Did she really want to experience it badly enough to play dead?

Also, if she could actually breathe normally, then she’d probably just start coughing like crazy once I tried to give her air via mouth-to-mouth. I couldn’t imagine that anyone would want that.

Lilia, whose shoulders had been drooping in dejection, suddenly perked up and looked up at me.

“Y-You were worried about me?!”

“Come on, just how heartless do you think I am?” I replied, stunned all over again.

I’d taken her all the way here to the West with me, hadn’t I? I’d kind of forced her to come too. If anything had happened to her, there was no way I’d have been able to sleep peacefully at night. So can you blame me for being a little worried?

My astonishment was slowly simmering into anger. Leaving Lilia sitting on the floor, I turned around and said, “I think I’ve had enough. I’m heading back to the palace without you.”

“Huh?!”

“Shall we head back together, Princess Marie?”

“H-Hey, wait! Ellie! Wait, crap... Are you actually upset?! Hey, I said wait!”

At this point, Princess Marie interjected.

“Oh, knock it off already! I’ve had enough of your flirting!”

She looked back and forth between me and Lilia. Then she settled her gaze on Lilia and said, “You’re throwing yourself at a w...a woman! Did you know that?!”

“Yes. I know.”

“You do?!” Princess Marie shrieked.

Come on, I thought. It’s not that shocking, is it?

If you considered that I was pretending to be my older brother in order to trick Princess Diana...then it was only logical to assume that everyone who’d come here from Diagrantz was in on it, right?

A flicker of bewilderment flashed in Princess Marie’s eyes as she whispered softly, “You know she isn’t a man...but you still have feelings for her?”

“I sure do. I’m crazy about her. Head over heels in love!”

“Even though...she’s a woman?”

“Yep,” Lilia replied without a moment’s hesitation. Her answers came so quickly that it was obvious what she really wanted to say: “Duh! Do you even have to ask?”

Careful, you little hell-raiser. You’ve already done a number on the Normandius royal family after turning the older princess into a crazed yaoi fangirl. Surely you aren’t going to “awaken” something in the younger princess too, right?

“I love everything about her, including the fact that she’s a woman,” Lilia declared.

“I... I see...”

“Isn’t that right, Ellie?!” Lilia whipped her head around to look up at me.

“What did you say? I wasn’t listening,” I replied, looking down at the nail I’d chipped when I’d been pulling us along the rope earlier.

“Oooh...sacrebleu!” Lilia cried, slumping dramatically back to the ground and pounding on the dirt with her fists.

For Christ’s sake... Oh, well. At least she’s alive and kicking.

I slipped off my jacket, which had gotten a lot heavier now that it was waterlogged. It must’ve gotten snagged when we were being carried along by the current, because it was tattered all over. That seemed like a pretty good sign that it had reached the end of its lifespan, so I figured it was probably time to give up on it.

“Let’s just hurry back to the palace so I can get changed already,” I muttered to myself as I wrung some of the water out of my shirt.

“That’s all you have to say?! Omigod, Ellie, I can’t even believe how cold you’re being right now!”

“I mean it, you two!” Princess Marie interjected again. “Enough with the flirting!”

And I mean it when I say there’s no flirting happening here.

“Come on, flirt with me!” Lilia begged.

Absolutely not.

After more tantruming and rolling around on the ground, Lilia must’ve finally realized that I wasn’t about to help her up, because she got up all by herself, grumbling all the way.

Lilia and Princess Marie standing side by side was such a lovely sight.

Princess Marie was shorter, probably in part owing to her younger age, but they were both so tiny and precious toddling around on their little feet. It almost looked like a frame straight out of a shojo manga.

Princess Marie just stared at Lilia for a while in amazement, as if she were some kind of cryptid. Then she suddenly turned to look at me.

“Hey... Eric?”

“Yes?” I replied.

“You’re...not really Eric, are you?”

“No. I’m not.”

Actually, not even my older brother was Eric. It probably wouldn’t have been much of a stretch to say that Eric was a completely fictitious character.

And yet...the surprising sadness in Princess Marie’s voice, and the way her head hung in disappointment made me crack a smile.

You know what, who cares? I thought. It’s just a name.

I knew plenty of people who called me weird nicknames like “Commander,” after all—even after I’d demanded multiple times that they stop. So, it seemed pretty silly to draw the line here and chastise Princess Marie for calling me Eric.

“But you can call me whatever you like,” I told her, looking into her eyes with a flirtatious smile.

At this, her head snapped up, and her face turned bright red. It was honestly adorable how bad she was at hiding her feelings.

“If you want to call me Eric, then I can be Eric—but I’ll only be Eric for you,” I said.

After a long period of silence, she replied, “That’s not fair.”

“Yeeeah... She plays dirty, doesn’t she?” Lilia agreed.

I’ll tell you what isn’t fair: I offer you a little fan service, and this is what I get?

I wasn’t “playing dirty.” Anyone I charmed, I charmed purely through my efforts—fair and square, thank you.

“Now then, Princess Marie,” I began, hoping that we could start thinking about what to do next (namely, me changing out of my clothes).

But she interrupted, replying bluntly, “You can just call me Marie.”

“Um... But you’re—”

“You didn’t put ‘Princess’ in front of my name at the lake, did you?”

“Well, no... But I was a little preoccupied making sure you didn’t drown.”

“And you don’t address my older sister as ‘Princess,’ do you?”

“That’s a fair point.”

She had me there. And honestly, the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t a great idea to keep insisting on addressing her so formally when I spoke so casually to her older sister. It was bound to spark some rumors.

So, I decided to take her up on that.

After some brief discussion with Princess Marie and her guards, we decided to head back to the church first. I’d just have to put up with feeling like a drowned rat for a little while longer.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that I’d only given Princess Marie a quick, casual thanks for her help earlier. She deserved more than that, especially with how much time she’d saved me. Without her rope, it probably would’ve taken a lot longer for Lilia and me to reach the shore.

Plus, it was thanks to Princess Marie that Lilia had survived in one piece—in fact, she was doing so well that she’d even had the energy to play dead. So, I decided to thank the princess again.

“Marie,” I called out to her, just as she’d begun to walk.

She stopped and turned around to look at me.

“Thanks. You were a huge help earlier,” I said.

She let out a little gasp. Then she walked straight over to me, without saying a word, and pounded on my chest with her fists.

I swore I could’ve heard her silent screaming.

For all the West’s medical advances, it was still a pretty savage country. You never knew when you might get pummeled by a girl’s fists or find an unexpected guest climbing into your bed...

◇◇◇

After returning to the church and changing into some clothes they’d lent us, we waited for the water to subside and rounded up the remaining thugs who’d been swept out of the cave. Everyone we found was still miraculously alive, although that wasn’t really surprising—the world of Royal LOVERS was an awfully forgiving one, after all.

We went to look for that sacred sword we’d found earlier, just for good measure, and found that it hadn’t moved from the cave. Apparently, it was too heavy to have been swept away by the torrent.

I didn’t want to get any flak if the sword went missing or something, so I dragged it back to where I remembered finding it and shoved the blade into a random pile of rocks in the vicinity.

“Guess there wasn’t anything all that special about it in the end, huh? It was just a randomly heavy sword after all.”

“Yeah, but a saint used it long ago, right?” Lilia said.

I crossed my arms as I regarded the sword that I’d placed some rocks around to make it look appropriately “legendary” and “sacred.”

It would certainly be too heavy for a woman of average strength to wield; she’d have to be a capable fighter.

If only heroes could wield it, then it would make sense for gender to play a part in unlocking its secret potential. But since a saint had apparently used it to great effect many years ago, my gender didn’t seem to be the problem.

How had a saint managed to wield a heavy-ass sword like this, then? I wondered.

When it came to legends, it was never a sure thing how much was actually true...but there must have been some basis to the story. Maybe the saint had used some sort of trick that had enabled her to wield it?

As I pondered that, it occurred to me that there was something we hadn’t tried yet.

“Hey, do you think the sword might feel lighter if you used a saint’s prayer on it?”

“I dunno... Maybe?”

Lilia seemed only half convinced by this idea—no, maybe more like twenty percent convinced and eighty percent doubtful—but she grabbed the hilt in her hand nonetheless.

Then she closed her eyes and furrowed her brow, looking as if she were channeling some intention into the sword, and gave it a good, hard yank.

There was a moment of silence.

“It’s not coming out!” she cried.

“Yeah, but...” I pointed to the blade, half of which was still buried in a rock. “It looks like it’s kinda...glowing, or something.”

“What do you mean, ‘kinda’ glowing? How glow-y are we talking here?!”

“It’s like one of those glow-in-the-dark toys.”

“A gl-glow-in-the-dark...toy...?”

Lilia let go of the sword.

It really was just the faintest light emanating from the blade, and when Lilia let go, it disappeared... At least, that’s what I thought I saw.

But it was so faint that, the more I strained my eyes to see the glow, the more I was convinced that it had all just been an illusion.

“Sooo... Are we sure it isn’t just a glow-in-the-dark sword?”

“A glow-in-the-dark sacred sword? That’s just dumb...”

You often heard about people realizing that the “ghost” they’d seen was actually just a weird light or something, but it felt like a real letdown to find out that the sacred sword we’d found was just a plain old heavy sword that glowed in the dark.

Royal LOVERS wasn’t set in a fantasy world full of wonder and magic, though, so I guessed that was probably about all we could have hoped for.

Anyway, now that we’d put it back where we found it, hopefully no one would try to blame us for anything that happened to it. And if anything did happen, I was fully prepared to blame it all on the loincloth thugs.

So, with that settled, Lilia, Princess Marie, and I headed back to the palace.

As soon as we got back, Edward, Christopher, and Princess Diana were there waiting to give us a stern talking-to while the three of us sat seiza style...but I’ll spare you the details.

I was surprised that Princess Marie was getting told off too, but apparently, she was in trouble for sneaking out after being ordered to stay in the castle and “reflect on her actions.”

But as we sat there getting an earful, there wasn’t much we could do except to wait for the storm to pass.

Public Service Abs

The day of our departure had finally arrived.

As I was bidding Princess Diana and Princess Marie a sad farewell in the throne room, the doors suddenly flew open.

When I turned around, I saw Richard standing in the doorway.

It was only then that I realized he wasn’t standing behind Dee like he usually did. In fact, come to think of it, I hadn’t seen much of Richard at all lately. There hadn’t been any sign of him the other day, even after everything that had gone down in the dungeon.

Typically, he practically followed the princesses around like a drone, so I would have expected him to have either been following Princess Marie—or, at the very least, waiting with Princess Diana in the palace to give her a good scolding when she got back.

The weirdest thing of all, though, was the way he was dressed today.

Instead of wearing his usual knight’s uniform, he was dressed like an aristocrat—but it wasn’t just that. I mean, he was a member of the Royal Guard, so he was obviously a fairly high-ranking noble. If he’d been wearing your standard high-ranking noble attire, then it wouldn’t have been all that surprising...but he was dressed to the nines. The outfit he had on right now was a showstopper, on par with what he’d worn to the masquerade ball.

It was so stunning that it kind of washed him out, actually.

I could kind of relate to his plight. That was just the curse of having delicate features, unfortunately.

Richard said nothing as he walked over to us with a strangely tormented expression on his face. Then he stopped—right in front of me.

What’s that look for? I wondered. It was the expression of a man who was about to embark on a suicide mission.

It put me a little on edge, but I tried to break the ice by looking straight back into his golden eyes and cracking a joke.

“Look at you, all dressed up like an aristocrat! What’s the occasion?”

But he didn’t laugh. Instead, he just swallowed audibly. Then he took a deep breath, as if to steel his resolve, and opened his mouth to speak.

“I’m a man, and it’s time for me to step up and act like one.”

“Okay?”

And...? I thought. Is this supposed to be news?

“Marry me!”

“Huh?”

Huh?

Huh???

The whole throne room went quiet.

So much for breaking the ice. Instead, it felt like things had frozen over more.

Richard’s brow furrowed as he said, in a strangled tone that betrayed his immense distress, “I need to take responsibility for my actions.”

“Uh... Which are...what, exactly?”

“I had no idea that you were a woman—much less the daughter of a prominent nobleman—but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I...sneaked into your bedroom. Worse yet, I’ve seen you change. I’ve seen your bare skin.”

I swore I could sense the temperature in the room drop by another two degrees. I could feel the icy glares of everyone in the room boring straight through me.

Lilia, Christopher, and even Edward seemed to be staring daggers at me.

Hold on. It’s not like that. This is all just a misunderstanding.

Richard had never seen me change, and he certainly hadn’t seen my “bare skin.” I had no idea what he was on about.

The only thing I could think of was that he’d seen my abs, and let’s be real here: That didn’t count. My abs were a public service, for anyone’s viewing pleasure—free of charge, of course.

“Let’s just slow down here a second, Richard...”

“There’s only one thing to do! I’d be a disgrace of a man if I didn’t take responsibility for this!” he exclaimed.

Look, pal, you’ve got this all backwards.

I’ll tell you who’s a disgrace of man: the kind of man who forces himself to propose to someone who doesn’t even want to marry him. A lout like that ought to be thrown to the dogs.

“Oh, my! Now, now, now!” a voice cried, smashing through the iceberg of tension that had frozen over the room.

It was Dee.

She walked over to us briskly, her glittering eyes focused on Richard.

Hm? Wait... What’s going on?

There was a strange, fiery passion in her eyes.

At first glance, you might’ve assumed that it was the passion of a young maiden in love...but I knew better. That was the look she got when she was mentally pairing me with someone.

Hold on. Just hold on a minute here.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for poor Richard. I mean, it was hard to imagine anything worse than the woman you loved shipping you with someone else.

“Oh, brother!” Dee cried exuberantly as she clasped Richard’s hands in her own.

The uncanny words echoed in my ears: Oh, brother!

No, that can’t be right. Did she mean, “Oh, bother”?

An image of Winnie-the-Pooh with his paw stuck in a jar of honey flashed in my mind.

“D-Diana, please. I’ve told you not to call me that in public.”

“Whether we’re in public or private, it doesn’t change the fact that the same blood runs through our veins.”

“I gave up my right to accede to the throne long ago.”

The two of them went back and forth, apparently in a disagreement about something.

Princess Marie must have noticed how baffled I was, because she leaned in to whisper, “Richard is our older brother.”

“Huh?”

“You didn’t figure that out? We’ve got the same eye color and everything.”

No... I really hadn’t figured that out. Honestly, I’d just kind of assumed that a bunch of people had golden eyes in Normandius.

Thinking back on it now, though...I didn’t think I’d met anyone other than the three of them with that eye color.

I turned around to gauge everyone else’s reaction.

Edward seemed to have somehow been in the loop about this already. Christopher and Lilia, on the other hand, seemed to be on the same page as me this time. They looked every bit as shocked as I felt.

I turned back around to look at Richard again.

“Okay...right. So, you’ve got a thing for your little sister,” I reluctantly summarized.

“How many times do I have to tell you? It’s not like that,” he shot back. It was so forceful that it sounded like it belonged hot on the heels of a “Tch!”

He had denied having feelings for Dee several times, but honestly, I thought he’d just been too embarrassed to own up to them.

The weird emotional resonance in his voice whenever he referred to “our princess” or “our little princess” had revealed feelings for the two princesses that ran much deeper than a professional relationship, but I would’ve never guessed that it came from a place of familial love.

But thinking back on everything now, the dots were starting to connect. In hindsight, it made sense now why he’d been such an over-the-top busybody in the princesses’ lives, and why he gave off such a wise, worldly vibe sometimes. That was classic older sibling behavior.

“A sister complex, then?” I suggested.

“Shut up!” he yelled. But he didn’t deny it.

I could hardly fault the man, though. How could he not have one, when he was blessed with such adorable little sisters? If anything, it would have been weird if he didn’t have a bit of a sister complex.

“Oh, but this is splendid, brother!” Dee cried as she watched us talking. Her eyes sparkled radiantly as they flickered with fangirl passion.

Don’t do this, Dee. Wipe that “I’ve just found my OTP” look off of your face right now, I’m begging you.

“You’re in love with Lady Elizabeth, aren’t you?”

“What?!” Richard shrieked.

Same, buddy. Same.

It was a little insane that Dee had extrapolated that from our conversation and Richard’s expression. I know that it’s a trademark yaoi fangirl move to see sparks where there are none, but this was taking things to a whole other level.

“Where in the world would you get that idea, Diana?! I’m just trying to take responsibility, that’s a—”

“I can see exactly what’s going on here! You just can’t admit your feelings, right?!”

Diana wasn’t listening to a word he was saying.

However Richard felt was wholly irrelevant, anyway. Diana was in her own little world, and she had an uncanny ability to see romance blooming even in the driest, most barren of deserts.

In all fairness, though, I wasn’t exactly in any position to call her out on that. After I’d convinced myself that Richard was in love with Dee—and refused to take his protests to the contrary seriously—that would be a serious case of the pot calling the kettle black.

If anyone ought to take some responsibility for this whole mess, though, it was hardly Richard.

I turned to look at the real instigator, who was standing there bewildered like one of those cat-in-outer-space memes.

Take some responsibility, Lilia. You started this all, didn’t you?

“I support you wholeheartedly, brother!”

“Please, just listen to me!”

“You’ve never been honest about your feelings, brother! But when the easygoing, carefree—yet also mysteriously unpredictable—Lady Elizabeth showed up, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from her. Nay, you found yourself positively under her spell! But try as you might to push your feelings down, you stumbled across her one day in a state of undress...and discovered that she was actually a woman! And before you knew what was happening to you, you had already fallen deeply, madly in love!”

Dee stretched her hands out to the ceiling theatrically, reciting this long-winded fantasy in a loud, sonorous tone, almost as if she were singing.

It was almost like watching a scene from an opera. Everyone present listened with rapt attention, seemingly forgetting for a moment just how outrageous the content of her soliloquy was.

Then she clenched her raised hands into fists and drew them in, close to her body.

“Oh, what a rush!”

Easy, girl.

Dee was wearing the biggest smile I’d ever seen her wear.

Her cheeks blushed a deep crimson, and she flashed her pearly white teeth as she laughed. It was such a purehearted, sweet expression—so different from her usual calm, graceful brand of beauty that I felt a bit stunned, actually.

If you ignored what she was saying, that siren smile of hers would be enough to make any man in the world fall madly in love with her.

If you ignored what she was saying.

I elbowed the hell-raiser next to me who’d started all of this.

“Look at that: You’ve turned a foreign princess into a crazed yaoi fangirl. How do you plan to fix this?”

“W-Well as far as I’m aware, there’s no law against yaoi fangirls being princesses!” she snapped, completely missing the point.

Sure, but you didn’t turn a yaoi fangirl into a princess—you turned a princess into a yaoi fangirl. There’s an important distinction there. So you don’t have the right to snap back at me.

“J-Just hold on a minute, please!” Lilia spoke up, crumbling under the pressure of my withering gaze. She took a step forwards, towards Diana, and raised her voice. “Um, Princess Diana? Ellie is a woman!”

“Hmm? Yes, I’m aware.”

“S-So, um... Don’t you want to stop...shipping her with people...?”

Lilia seemed to deflate as she spoke.

Come on, Lilia. You’ve got this.

Don’t back down just ’cause Dee looks completely unfazed by this.

Lilia had raised her index finger as if to give Dee a talking-to, but it just pointed in the air limply, without conviction, until she turned to face me.

“D-Don’t you see? Ellie can never be on the right side of the slash!” Lilia declared, as if having settled on an angle.

She wore a deadly serious expression, but everyone else just looked baffled.

I followed suit, furrowing my brow to broadcast that I, too, was completely in the dark.

Why in the world are we talking about who’s on the right and the left right now? I wondered. If she was trying to make this political, then she’d better rethink that, or things could get very messy. I mean, everyone knows that you’re supposed to limit polite conversations to safe topics like weather, sumo, and baseball.

Okay, well...maybe not baseball, actually. Given its fans, that was kind of veering into the conversational taboo of religion.

Unfortunately, though—and I really do mean unfortunately—Dee seemed to understand what Lilia was getting at perfectly. She clapped her hands over her cheeks and cocked her head.

“Goodness, Lilia, I never thought I’d hear that from you! After all, you were the one who taught me that love transcends gender!”

“Urk!”

“Besides...”

Dee batted her long eyelashes, adopting an expression that seemed to say, from the bottom of her heart, I have absolutely no idea what you mean. Though, if anyone should’ve had the right to feel that way, it was me.

“Eric has always been on the right side of the slash.”

After a long silence, Lilia could only say, “Huh?”

The expression she wore mirrored her confusion. She didn’t even have to say the “Huh?” aloud.

Honestly, I wanted to blurt out the same thing.

Lilia beckoned Princess Diana over. They scooted away from me and started whispering about something.

After a few minutes, they returned. From Lilia’s heavy footsteps, I could already guess how that conversation had gone.

Lilia looked somber as she opened her mouth to speak.

“I’m sorry, Ellie...” she said.

Don’t say that. Seriously, whatever you’re going to say, don’t lead with that. You’re freaking me out.

“She likes her ships...the other way around.”

“What do you mean, ‘the other way around’?”

“She exclusively ships you on the right.”

“Okay, I did not need to hear that.”

I would really appreciate it if people didn’t just slap me on the left side of their ships. Wait, actually—I’d really appreciate it if people just straight up didn’t ship me with anyone at all.

On the left, on the right, up, down...who cares? Just don’t ship me at all, please. And if you can’t resist the temptation, then at least don’t subject me to hearing about it.

I wished Dee and Lilia could take a page out of my fan club’s book. At least they always made sure to keep their fangirl activities under wraps.

Actually, scratch that... Forget about keeping it up wraps—I just wanted Dee to cease with her shipping. Was that really too much to ask for?

Seeing the blank look I was giving her, Lilia began to panic.

“Wh-What was I supposed to do about this?!” she exclaimed. “This is outside of my wheelhouse, okay?! I’m a self-insert fangirl, not a yaoi fangirl!”

“Yes, which is exactly why you shouldn’t have meddled in the first place,” I shot back.

At this, Lilia clammed up. I could tell that she knew I had a point. These things were best left to a professional, after all. It wasn’t appropriate for an amateur to go butting her head into such matters.

As we both stole a glimpse at Dee, she simply smiled and said, “You know... I think I finally understand the appeal of genderbends.”

She had opened her eyes to something she could have (should have, in fact) gone her whole life without ever appreciating. It was clear to me now that she was way too far gone.

I could feel how desperate I was getting to just deny that any of this was actually happening.

Well, at least she makes Edward look remarkably sane and stable in comparison, I thought. Who cares if he likes to dress up as a girl sometimes, right?

As I indulged in a thousand-yard stare of escapism, Dee turned her gaze back to Richard.

“You only ever think of the two of us, brother. You’re always putting yourself second,” she said.

“Diana...”

“You really are too nice for your own good...giving up your right to the throne all so that we wouldn’t have to fight for it. I just wish that you would think of yourself a little more.”

“You’re giving me too much credit... I only gave it up because I didn’t want the hassle, and I’m an illegitimate heir anyway,” Richard said, his tone reproving.

But Dee just ignored him.

This time, she turned to me and said, “As you can see, he just can’t bring himself to be honest with his feelings...but he would do anything for his family, and I can personally vouch for his honest character and good heart. I feel sure that you’ll come to adore him, Lady Elizabeth.”

“Right...”

“You’ve already come all this way, so perhaps you could stay for just a little longer? I know that you’ll find so much to love about my brother—and our kingdom!”

Dee took my hand in hers and pulled me in close to her.

My arm was immediately buried in her ample assets. The sheer mass of them was so much greater than I’d expected, I couldn’t help but feel my gaze drawn in by them.

Okay... That shouldn’t be able to happen. There’s obviously some kind of glitch going on here with our hit boxes.

As my brain was busy dedicating all of its resources to getting to the bottom of this, a smile played across Dee’s lips, and she stared into my eyes.

“I’m sure Diagrantz is absolutely lovely...but I can assure you that our kingdom is every bit as wonderful.”

There was a glint in Dee’s eyes as she spoke.

Hm? Wait a second...

It felt close to the glint of a predator zeroing in on its prey—a little too close for comfort.

Reflexively, I almost started stepping backwards to make a retreat, but I managed to stay firmly where I was.

“I-If Ellie stays, I’m staying too!”

“Me too! I’m not going home until sis goes home!”

Spurred by my silence, Lilia and Christopher spoke up, panicked.

Hold your horses, guys. I didn’t say anything about staying here.

“Excellent! I’d love for you to stay longer too—so I can train with you,” Princess Marie said, stepping out from the sidelines and wrapping her arms around my unoccupied arm.

Frills, ribbon, fabric...and nothing more.

The familiar sensations filled me with a surprisingly strong sense of relief.

I felt myself finally returning to my senses, my thoughts back under my control.

“I appreciate your hospitality, Dee, but I...”

“Remember what I told you? ‘Normandius will welcome you with open arms.’”

As Dee smiled at me, I looked into her clear golden eyes. There was no trace now of the passion that had flickered in them before. Instead, I saw...the same look I’d seen whenever she spoke with Edward, or with King Normandius.

It was the look of a stateswoman.

That’s when it really hit me: She was a princess first and foremost. And what was more, she was the crown princess. She carried the entire future of the kingdom on her shoulders.

Of course she wasn’t just going to spend her life quietly admiring the romances that played out before her. And there was no way that her motivations for pushing this particular romance were as pure and unadulterated as simply wanting to see her brother be happy.

When I thought about this all logically, it made sense why she would really want me to stay here: Because that meant that the saint who accompanied me was likely to stay too.

What was more, I’d be a direct pipeline to several powerful noble families in Diagrantz. It was obvious that Christopher and my older brother would be hot commodities in the dating market, but when I stopped to really think about it... I wasn’t a bad pick either, at least in the eyes of the West.

It struck me then how much Dee’s plastered-on smile reminded me of Edward’s—it was a classic royal-family smile.

Personally, though, I much preferred her other smile: the one where a fiery passion burned in her eyes, and her lips parted wide in a grin. Even though I could do without the crazed fangirling that inspired that smile, I’d still have taken it over this one any day.

“I feel sure that our two kingdoms would only stand to benefit from you marrying into our family,” Dee said.

“You must be joking.”

At this point, Edward forcefully inserted himself between us. Unsurprisingly, he, too, wore the plastered-on, princely smile of a statesman.

“And do you expect me to hand over every soldier in the Diagrantz military?”

“Oh, my! Prince Edward, you really mustn’t talk like that.”

Dee dropped my hand, bringing both of her hands up to cover her mouth in shock.

Then, suddenly softening into a smile, she turned to look at me.

“Nothing could be more important to me than Lady Elizabeth’s happiness,” she said.

Edward looked like he wanted to say something in response to that, but he just clammed up and looked at me instead.

Lilia, Christopher, Princess Marie, and Richard were all looking at me too.

Everything’s going to be okay. I’ve finished debugging my brain.

Dee’s golden eyes had a strangely bewitching power—almost like Lilia’s Charm. If I let my guard down, I knew I’d find myself nodding along and agreeing to whatever she asked of me.

But...

“I’m sorry, Dee,” I said, shaking my head. “But I have to go home.”

Dee’s eyes widened in shock, but only ever so slightly. It was enough to tell me that, at least to some extent, she’d been expecting this outcome.

“There’s someone back home waiting for my return.”

Never Been Proposed to by a Guy Before

With everything settled, we were set to leave Normandius Castle and head home to the kingdom of Diagrantz.

After I’d dismissed Richard from his “responsibilities” by declaring my abs a public service, a surreal debate had broken out between those who’d insisted I should privatize them and those who’d wanted to take full advantage of what was on offer. As you can imagine, this had ended in me displaying my abs to all of the ladies who wanted to see them.

Fortunately, though, it meant I was able to leave Normandius freely in the end.

In any case, Richard apparently hadn’t wanted to actually marry me anyway. Dee and Marie might have thought it would be nice if we’d ended up tying the knot, but they weren’t fixated enough on the idea to detain me against my will.

Everything was resolving exactly as it ought to have.

Outside of the guest villa, I was helping to get the cargo ready when Richard—who was set to accompany us part of the way home as our escort—called out to greet me.

“Hey,” he said.

“Oh, hey. It’s you.”

Even though Richard had been the one to strike up the conversation, he seemed to be struggling to get any more words out. So, I did him a favor and broke the ice instead.

“I still can’t believe you’re actually a prince,” I said.

“Please...I don’t want to hear that from you,” he said, looking like he’d just eaten something sour.

I couldn’t help but laugh at his ridiculous expression.

“I mean, I thought you were just some body double that the duke’s family had hired. To think you were actually the earl’s younger sister... I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“Well, guess I’m proof that it is.”

Whether it was possible or not, there was no changing the fact that I was my older brother’s little sister—nor would I ever want to change that.

Richard would just have to wrap his head around it somehow.

“Hey...” Richard muttered, scratching his head roughly. It was a decidedly un-princelike gesture. “You must have some deeper reason for dressing like that, though, right? Something you can’t talk about easily?”

“Nope.”

“Yeah, I figu— Wait, what?!”

He’d been looking down at the ground solemnly, but his head suddenly sprang up at this. As we locked eyes, I could see the shock written all over his face.

“So, there isn’t some deeper reason?!”

“Nope,” I repeated.

Richard walked over closer to me, his eyes wide.

It was a little unnerving, but I was finally able to connect some of the dots about Princess Marie. Richard was probably the one who’d said something to her about how I must have “had my reasons.”

No doubt Princess Marie had taken that to heart—which explained why she’d come to apologize to me so earnestly the other day.

Why’s everyone so hung up on my reasons for dressing like a man, anyway? I wondered. The only thing that matters in this world is results—not reasons.

From what I’d heard, there were men in high society who only ever wore heels, but people probably didn’t go around asking them what their reasons were.

I mean, personally, I’d probably be too scared to ask. Ignorance is bliss, right? There were countless things in this world that we were all probably better off not knowing about.

Richard just stood there slack-jawed for a while.

Finally, he muttered, “So...there’s nothing? No deeper reason whatsoever?”

“Nope.”

“Then...why do you dress like that?”

“I don’t really know how to answer that, honestly...”

I really didn’t know how to answer that.

My reasons had been voided half a year ago, after all... The only reason I kept dressing like this now was because it felt like an easier way to survive in a world that was always giving young male heartthrobs preferential treatment, I guess. And maybe also because I was just used to myself in menswear now.

So, to sum that all up...

“Personal preference, I guess.”

“Personal...preference?” Richard repeated, looking as dumbfounded as that cat-in-space meme.

“Yep.” I nodded.

This had only really occurred to me as I’d answered him, but I felt like the people who cross-dressed (either as a man or a woman) mostly did so because they wanted to, rather than because they were forced to against their will. Although, maybe that was only true in modern-day Japan?

Let’s just ignore that only a small minority of people ever cross-dressed in the first place...

“Ugh, forget it. I was an idiot for ever expecting you to be a rational person,” Richard said, face-palming. He let out a big, dramatic sigh.

Excuse me. I don’t appreciate your implication.

Richard just stood there groaning into his hand for a while, until finally he lifted his head and said, “So, you’re not just doing this because the duke ordered you to?”

“Huh? No.”

I cocked my head, confused where he was going with this.

Then, suddenly, the pieces came together.

Back in our kingdom, everyone who knew the Honorable Duke would know better than to think that his family might forcibly order someone to do something like that. It was completely unthinkable.

But Richard’s assumptions would have been the exact opposite.

From the perspective of someone who lived in a medieval European-like world, it was only natural for the head of a family and his heir to be strong-willed and opinionated. It went without saying that they could order around anyone underneath them—including their own family members.

My family was just kind of a special exception. But the head of Christopher’s birth family, for example, or even Isaac’s family, wouldn’t hesitate to bend family members to their will.

Come to think of it, Richard seemed to be bound by some circumstances of his own. Maybe he felt he could relate somehow, or maybe he was just worrying about me because he felt I was in a similar position to his beloved little sister.

He didn’t need to worry about me, though.

I shrugged, shaking off his concern.

“Actually, my older brother really didn’t want me to come here in his place. He did everything he could to stop me,” I explained.

“Huh? Wait... Is your older brother actually a decent guy, then?”

Again, I don’t appreciate the implication. What are you suggesting about me, huh?

Leaving the personal affront to me aside, though, he was right: My older brother was a decent guy. In fact, he was too decent for his own good—so much so that I couldn’t help but worry about him.

There was still roughly a week before I’d be home. I could only hope that I’d make it back before he had the time to find himself betrothed to some weirdo.

“He’s a bit of a worrywart, and he’s always putting other people first. We ended up getting into a bit of a fight over my journey here, but...he’s got a really good heart, and he’s always looking out for me. I’m really proud to have him as my older brother.”

“So that’s how it is, huh...?” Richard said in reply, wearing a strange expression on his face as he scratched his head. It wasn’t entirely clear whether he actually understood what I was saying at all.

Suddenly, I remembered how Dee had shared a similar sentiment about Richard.

No, wait... Maybe she’d only said all of that because she was trying to get me to marry him? I thought. But there had been something unmistakably genuine in her words, so I couldn’t imagine that that had been the only reason.

My older brother was always saying that looking out for his siblings was just part and parcel of being an older brother...so maybe all younger siblings felt that their older brothers (or all of the decent ones, at least) were too kindhearted for their own good?

“I’m sure it’s like that for your little sisters, too, right?” I said, thinking aloud now. “Marie and Dee probably feel exactly the same way about you.”

“No, I think our situation...is different to yours.”

“Doesn’t matter what you think.”

At this, Richard looked up at me. His golden eyes—the same color as Dee’s and Marie’s—were wide with surprise.

“All that matters is what Dee and Marie think.”

“I... I guess you’re right.”

Richard raised both of his hands as he said this, in a show of defeat, and let out a small, throaty laugh.

As we were wrapping up loading the cargo, Richard spoke up again.

“You know...” he said. “You’re never going to find a husband if you keep this up.”

“Yeah. I know.”

I couldn’t help but smile uncomfortably at this surprisingly blunt assessment.

I certainly would have liked to get married—for the sake of both Christopher and my older brother—but honestly...I’d kind of made peace with the idea that it would probably never happen.

Richard stopped loading the cargo and turned to look at me.

“So, I just wanted to say...” he began, looking weirdly serious as he spoke.

I stopped loading cargo too and turned around to face him.

For a while, he just stood there scratching his head uncomfortably. Then he straightened himself up and said, “If you can’t find a husband no matter how hard you try...and you get really, really desperate...then I’ll marry you. I’m prepared to take responsibility.”

“Pfft!”

At this, I burst out laughing.

Oh, Dick... You know, that almost sounded like a proposal.

Of course, I knew that the only reason he’d really offered was because he knew that it would make Dee and Marie happy. What a guy, gritting his teeth and bearing something like that all to make his little sisters happy. It was enough to make you cry.

He really did seem like the kind of guy who put his own needs last.

I wished that he’d just think about this logically for a minute, though. Unless he wanted wedding photos that looked straight out of a BL, then he should probably rethink his offer to marry me.

I was starting to see now why Dee had wanted to lecture him about not neglecting his own needs.

“You know, I’ve never been proposed to by a guy before,” I said. “It’s kind of refreshing, actually.”

“Hey... I’m being serious here.”

He looked pissed, his eyebrows furrowing again.

“Of course you are. Well, thanks,” I said, trying to stifle a smirk.

As if any man would make a face like that when he was proposing.

“But...sure, all right. If I’m really struggling, I’ll give it some th—”

“That won’t be necessary.”

Suddenly, Edward’s voice interrupted from behind us.

I blinked, surprised.

Edward briskly walked past me and stopped right in front of me.

I’d sensed him approaching, but he’d gotten here a lot faster than I’d expected. He must’ve run over.

His silver hair was a mess, and his breathing sounded labored. As I stared at the back of his head, I tried to wrap my head around his actions. It was completely unlike the placid, cool-as-a-cucumber crown prince to run. Honestly, it had never occurred to me that he even could. I’d kind of assumed that he didn’t come with that feature.

This was even more of a shock than that night at the masquerade ball, when Princess Marie had told me he’d gone to “powder his nose.”

Come to think of it, didn’t he run that time at the lake too? I thought. My vision had been kind of impaired by the wet hair covering my eyes, so I hadn’t really gotten a good look at him then.

“That won’t...be necessary,” Edward repeated once he’d gotten his breathing in check.

From where I was standing behind him, I couldn’t really get a look at his face. But from the stunned expression Richard was wearing, and the way he was looking back and forth between us, it seemed pretty safe to assume that Edward wasn’t smiling.

“If the situation looks dire, I’ll be here to take her as a wife,” Edward said.

“Uh... Pardon?”

“Let’s go, Lizzie.”

As soon as he whipped around, he grabbed me by the wrist and started walking off towards the carriage.

It felt a bit abrupt, but we’d come to a stopping point with loading the cargo, so whatever.

I turned around, giving Richard a little wave to say, See ya before catching up with Edward.

Once he was reassured that I was at his side, he let go of my wrist.

The expression I caught on Edward’s face was hard to pin down. It wasn’t a smile, nor was there any other obvious emotion on it...but it was definitely serious.

At the very least, though, it was obviously not the sweet expression he’d worn when he’d been trying to seduce Dee, nor was it the charming smile he wore in the game CGs. So, if one thing was clear, it was that he hadn’t meant what he’d said back there with Richard.

Huh...

Eventually, I gave up trying to suss out any clues from his expression and tried to think through that exchange between him and Richard myself.

What was that all about?

After three seconds of thinking about it, though, I still couldn’t figure it out.

Ah, screw it. Guess it’s a lost cause.

“Hey, Your Highness?” I began.

“What?”

“Is marriage humor what’s ‘in’ right now in royal circles, or...?”

Edward’s brisk steps came to a halt. He glared up at me and asked, “What makes you say that?”

The wrinkles of his deep frown threatened to ruin his pretty face.

“Well, I just ask because His Majesty was joking about that before too.”

“My father?”

“Yeah. He was like, ‘You can have whichever son you like,’ or something.”

Edward’s frown deepened as he sighed. “Father...” I heard him whisper, under his breath.

It seemed less like the reaction of someone who was bewildered by his father’s shenanigans and more like the reaction of someone who was absolutely fed up with the dad jokes.

I couldn’t blame him for that. There was certainly a sort of psychic damage inflicted when dad jokes forced you to reckon with the fact that your old man had become...well, an old man.

On the topic of dad jokes, from what I’d heard, they weren’t just some skill that you acquired out of nowhere once you reached the right age. It was more that you progressively lost the ability to hold back from making all the lame puns you came up with as you aged. Worst of all, you didn’t even realize that it was happening.

Terrifying. I hope I never end up like that.

I shrugged, deciding to just forget about Edward and his dad’s weird jokes.

“It was pretty heartless of you to bring up marriage when it’s only been a little over a year since my engagement to Prince Robert was annulled, you know,” I said.

“Oh, please. You’re the one who asked me to get it annulled for you, remember?” Edward replied with a snort.

Honestly, when I stopped to think about it a little more deeply, it was kind of sick for His Majesty and Edward to make jokes about a young lady who’d only just had her engagement to the second prince annulled.

If you’re going to carry the weight of a whole kingdom’s well-being on your shoulders, then you ought to at least try to think of some less offensive jokes.

I wasn’t actually all that offended, though, so I decided to just let it go.

I sensed Edward’s eyes on me, so I turned my head to look at him. Sure enough, he was staring.

After admiring my reflection in his amethyst eyes, I cocked my head.

Maybe it was because I’d known Edward for longer, but despite the fact that they were both royals, it felt a lot easier to tell what he was thinking than to tell what Dee was thinking.

Exhaustion seemed to play across his face. I couldn’t blame him for feeling that way, considering the long, boring carriage ride we had ahead of us.

I was left with a strange feeling as we readied to depart from Normandius. I’d caught a glimpse of a completely new side to Dee right at the very end of our stay here—a shrewd, crafty side of her.

Well... So much for finding a female friend who doesn’t make me fear for my life, I guess.

On the other hand, that shrewd, crafty side of her did kind of give her an air of mystery...

But I had a strict policy of always giving crazed fangirls a wide berth.

Suddenly, Edward looked forwards, in the direction we were walking.

I followed his gaze to see the carriage driver waiting for us with the carriage door open.

I didn’t have to be a mind reader to know what Edward would say next:

“Let’s go home, Lizzie.”

“Yeah. Let’s.”

◇◇◇

“Commander!”

We’d finally arrived back in the kingdom of Diagrantz.

We’d only just crossed the border, though, so we still had two or three more days until we reached the capital. But the moment we alighted from our carriages, a voice called out to me—a voice belonging to someone who had no business being out of the capital.

Based on the volume, I’d assumed that he was calling out to me from a fair distance. But he must’ve been sprinting—and taking absolutely massive strides—because in the seconds it took me to turn around, he was standing right in front of me.

What the hell was that? Some kind of ninja technique?

I looked up at him to see his sparkling bright green eyes. In typical fashion, they were piercing me with a relentless earnestness.

“Robert,” I addressed him.

“Yes, sir!” he replied enthusiastically.

Robert, no... That wasn’t a call-and-response.

“What are you doing all the way out here?”

“When I heard you’d be arriving at the border today, I couldn’t wait any longer,” he said, smiling awkwardly as he scratched his cheek.

The guards who had escorted Robert greeted me with little bows as they stood behind him. Their haggard faces made it abundantly clear that they’d just been through Hell.

Surely you didn’t run all the way here from the capital and drag these poor bastards with you... Right, Robert?

“You couldn’t have just waited until I got back to the capital?” I asked.

“Well... I wanted to be the first one to welcome you home.”

Robert looked straight at me as he said this, breaking into a wide grin.

It was a smile of pure joy, like a flower just beginning to blossom... No, actually, it was more like a flower already in full bloom. Genuine delight seemed to radiate from him—not just through his smile, but through his gaze and the rest of his expression, even down to his mannerisms.

It was so effective that I couldn’t help but think, for the first time in a long time, Oh, yeah... I forgot the pea-brained prince was a love interest too.

He was the very picture of a specific brand of cheerful, peppy heartthrob (at least, on the outside).

Come to think of it, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him wear such an unrestrained, infectious smile before...not even in the game CGs.

I shook my head, trying to shake off the spell of his laser-beam, sparkling gaze and his blindingly radiant smile.

“Welcome home, Commander,” Robert said, his voice tinged with a hint of emotion, as he looked down at me.

I smiled wryly at his hasty phrase.

“I’ve still got a ways to go, you know.”

I was still en route until I arrived back at my family’s manor. And even once I’d made it there, the journey wasn’t over until I’d unpacked my things, taken a bath, and gotten into bed. Either way, the end wasn’t in sight just yet.

But, hey... What was the point in being pedantic?

It was weird, but when Robert looked up at me with those puppy-dog eyes of his (if he were an actual dog, he probably would’ve been wagging his tail), any motivation I might’ve had to explain this to him just disappeared.

I’d returned to the kingdom, so I guessed I was home now, in a sense. Plus, I couldn’t deny that I’d felt a bit relieved once I’d crossed the border.

So I sighed and said, “Thanks, Robert. It’s good to be home.”

At this, Robert’s smile grew even brighter, and his sparkly, laser-beam gaze grew so intense that I felt like just looking into it might burn my eyes.

But just as he looked like he was about to say something, his expression suddenly hardened.

Yep. Called it.

I’d pretty much expected that reaction as soon as I’d sensed Edward alighting from the carriage. The tension was palpable, which told me that Robert was currently watching Edward process what the hell he was doing there and why his guards looked so utterly exhausted.

Hoo boy... You’re in for an earful.

I could feel the cold rage emanating from Edward without even looking at him, so I left him and Robert (who was still frozen in place) to sort things out between themselves and quickly hopped into Christopher’s carriage.

◇◇◇

After helping Christopher out of the carriage first, I got out too.

Once we’d passed through the gates and the duke’s manor was in sight, it really felt like we’d finally made it home.

Ahh... Home sweet home. Is there anything better than coming back to your own house?

The front door opened, and a round, roly-poly of a man practically rolled out of it.

I watched my older brother’s comfortingly soft, plump body jiggle and bounce as he ran over to us. It had only been three months since I’d last seen him, but God, I’d missed the marshmallow figure he cut.

He still had the body of a man who’d never dreamed of saying no to dessert...but his face was looking a little thinner. Gaunter, maybe.

As soon as I saw his face, I felt so tempted to get one final blow in. I told myself that, until he apologized, I wouldn’t even dream of forgiving him.

“It was a good thing I ended up going instead, huh? Told you so,” I wanted to say to him. And, “You should’ve just let me handle it all from the beginning.”

At the very least, I wanted to let him have it for writing those mortifying letters.

But when he looked up at me with those blue eyes brimming with tears, I suddenly lost all interest in that.

I couldn’t help chuckling. He really looked like he was going to burst into tears at any minute.

Oh, big brother... You ought to see the look on your face, I thought.

But I couldn’t help feeling at a loss whenever I saw him in tears.

“Lizzie—” he began in a hoarse voice.

But before he could get the next words out, I interrupted him.

“Hey, big brother,” I said, taking a step towards him with my arms open wide. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn.”

He pursed his lips, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. Then his face softened into a big smile—so big that his puffy cheeks seemed to swallow his eyes.

“Oh, Lizzie... You really were being awfully stubborn,” he chided, but he practically jumped into my open arms.

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling all of his weight and softness hit me.

Enveloped in his squishy hug, I swore I could feel every last trace of hardness in me disappearing.

I mean, I still didn’t have any regrets about going to the West against his wishes, and if I ever found myself in that position again, I would make exactly the same choice each and every time...but.

I guess I probably should have tried to talk things through with him a bit more before I’d left.

And...I guess I probably should have come back sooner.

I couldn’t help but marvel at how powerful my brother’s hugs were—they were capable of making me own up like that.

I couldn’t remember ever having to bury the hatchet with him, like he’d said we must have that time when I was a kid...but I could only imagine that it must have gone exactly the way this had.

“Welcome home, Lizzie.”

“Thank you, big brother. It’s so nice to be back home again.”

As I looked at his teary-eyed, smiling face, I felt my own lips soften into a smile too.

It really did feel like I was home, now that I’d come back to the person who’d been waiting for me.

“I was so worried about you,” my brother said.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“No... I have some blame to bear too.”

He shook his head lightly.

I appreciated him owning up to his part, and I didn’t want to cheapen the moment, so I decided not to say anything in response.

He looked up at me. I looked back into his sky blue eyes and saw my own reflection.

“Can we...put this behind us?” he asked.

“Of course we can.”

After giving me one last big hug, he let go of me.

He gave Christopher a hug next, welcoming him home too. Christopher looked a little embarrassed, but he reciprocated the hug happily.

Once my brothers had finished reuniting, the three of us headed into the manor.

“We brought back some souvenirs for you,” I said.

“Really? Oh, but we can’t start with that! I want to hear all about your trip first!”

“Right... Of course.”

I’d only hesitated for a second—like, seriously, only a single second—but my older brother sniffed that second out like a bloodhound and wouldn’t let it go.

He peered up at my face. Then he gently placed his hand on Christopher’s back.

“Chris? Will you tell me what happened in the West?”

“Huh? Um...”

“Check this out, big brother,” I interrupted, handing him a snack. “Looks pretty tasty, right? It’s got such a nice, round shape and—”

“Lizzie! Don’t try to distract me with treats!”

Operation: Snack Distraction had ended in utter failure.

Needless to say, I got a real earful from him after that.

Post-Homecoming Shenanigans

I was back on campus for the first time in several months and, as luck would have it, today was the end of the term.

I’d made it back just in time for the last day of first term...but what was the point of that?

I’d tried to convince Christopher that we might as well just not go, since it wouldn’t really make any difference, but he’d insisted that we had to go so we could pick up our summer break homework.

Honestly, I should have known better than to try to convince him. Personally, I wouldn’t have cared a lick if I didn’t have any summer homework, but my little brother was a good kid, and he was on a completely different planet than I when it came to this stuff.

I’d arrived at school earlier than usual, so there was only a small smattering of other students. But when the girls realized I was back, they started squealing and crying, “Welcome home, Sir Burton!”

Now that’s more like it, I thought.

I’d gotten quite a bit of squealing in the West too...but that had really been more about my relationships (or, at least, whatever imagined relationships I was having), not about me. It felt a lot better to know these girls were squealing over nothing but me, myself, and I.

I returned their greetings happily and headed towards the classroom.

The first thing I did after going through the door was stop by the lockers and put the souvenirs I’d bought for everyone on top. Then I walked over to desks.

My usual deskmate was already sitting in his seat next to mine as I pulled out my chair. I met his gaze as he looked up at me.

“Morning,” I said.

“Uh-huh...”

I sat down.

After giving me a glance and a quick hello, he immediately returned to looking at the book in his hands. He was every bit as unfriendly as I remembered him. My prolonged absence had evidently not been enough to melt Ice Queen Isaac’s heart.

But it was kind of a relief to be back in the classroom, sitting in my usual seat. I’d only been gone for a little less than three months, but being back here filled me with a strange nostalgia.

There had been a lot of moments, since returning to the manor, that had really made me feel like I was home now. Being back on campus, though, the idea that I was back to my everyday life was starting to hit home a lot harder.

Ahh... Nothing beats a peaceful, mundane life.

I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be getting the urge to go swimming in my clothes again anytime soon... Although maybe I’d rethink that in the sweltering days of midsummer.

“What?” Isaac asked, closing his book. He must have realized I’d been looking at him.

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about how sitting next to you like this makes me feel like I’m really home now.”

He frowned. I could’ve sworn he was furrowing his brow even more than usual, probably out of suspicion.

Hey, I did both the June and July issues of Professor Isaac’s Home School Crash Course, you know. Okay, so maybe I had a little help...but my point stands.

“It’s good to be back, Isaac.”

“Yeah...” He nodded.

For a second, I thought I saw his frown relax a bit.

As I looked through his glasses and straight into his eyes, I was suddenly reminded of something.

“Oh, I just remembered: I bought you a souvenir.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

I opened my bag and fished around for it a bit.

Isaac watched suspiciously as I pulled out a leather case.

“I thought of you immediately when I saw this,” I said. “I’ve been dying to give this to you.”

“Wha—”

“Will you accept it?”

I guess he must’ve been embarrassed, because a slight blush colored his cheeks and his eyes started darting around the room.

Then he started getting flustered, covering his mouth with his hand and slowly repositioning his glasses.

What’re you getting so worked up for? I wondered. It’s just a little souvenir. No need to be shy about it.

I was starting to see why the entire class had felt like he needed their support to make friends.

After sitting there fidgeting for a while, he finally opened his mouth to speak.

“Well, of course I will, but—”

“Great. Just close your eyes, then.”

“Huh?”

“C’mon, just do it already.”

At my urging, he pursed his lips tightly. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he closed his eyes.

I reached out and grabbed his glasses, pulling them off his face.

Then I replaced them with the Coke bottle glasses from the leather case I was holding.

“Pfft...”

“Burton...?”

“Ah hah hah hah hah!” I bellowed.

“H-Hey!”

I whipped the glasses off, and he went back to being handsome as usual.

“Listen...”

I put the glasses back on, and he looked like a total nerd.

“Stop that!”

I took the glasses off.

Yep. Still a heartthrob.

I couldn’t help but marvel at the radical transformation. It was like one of those “beautiful all along” clichés you only ever see in a manga, where some plain Jane takes off her glasses and she’s suddenly a stunner. I honestly never thought the day would come where I’d see that play out in real life.

I burst out laughing every time I looked at Isaac’s face. I just couldn’t contain myself.

After laughing my head off so hard I thought I might cry, I returned Isaac’s original pair of glasses to him.

“Whew... That was hilarious.”

“You shouldn’t tease people like that.”

“Thanks for humoring me,” I said, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye.

He just glared back at me like I was his ancestors’ sworn enemy. It seemed my little prank had caused grievous offense.

I felt kind of bad...but it was really funny. I wanted Lilia to get a load of him in those Coke bottle glasses too.

“Commander?” a voice called. “What’s so funny?”

“Perfect timing, Robert. Come check this out,” I replied.

“Stop it!” Isaac protested.

When I put the Coke bottle glasses on Isaac’s face again, Robert burst out laughing just like I had.

See, Isaac? Told you it was hilarious.

“I got it for him as a souvenir. Really suits him, right?”

“A...souvenir?” Robert repeated, blinking in surprise.

Then he started walking over to me, looking at me through upturned eyes for some reason.

I mean, look... I say “upturned eyes,” but obviously he wasn’t actually looking up at me. Not only was he taller than me, but he was also standing up, so it was kind of impossible for him to do that.

But for some reason, the expression he wore made it look like he was looking up at me.

“Commander...”

“Yeah?”

“You, um...didn’t buy one for me?”

“Buy what for you?”

“A souvenir...” he mumbled back shyly.

This time, it was my turn to blink in surprise.

“Huh? But Prince Edward should’ve given you one already,” I said.

“Huh?”

“Huh?”

The two of us just kept blinking at each other, utterly dumbfounded. Some wires were obviously crossing somewhere.

I cocked my head, still confused about what exactly he was trying to say.

“I bought some souvenirs for the class too, if you want in on that,” I tried. “They’re up there on the lockers.”

Robert was silent.

“I passed around some snacks for everyone at the training grounds too, remember?”

Again: silence.

It was weird for Robert to be so quiet. The mixed feelings playing across his face gave him a conflicted, somewhat inscrutable expression—one I wasn’t used to seeing on him.

Usually, it was pretty easy to tell what he was feeling. His emotional highs and lows might as well have been written on his face in clear, neon letters. But this—this was different. It was enough to make me worry that he was suffering from a serious stomachache.

“Robert? What’s wrong?” I asked.

“N-No... It’s nothing,” he said, smiling back at me limply.

It was a pitiful attempt at a fake smile. Forget about royal standards; it was a woeful effort even by any noble’s standards.

I mean, seriously... Could you have screwed that up any worse?

I peered into his face, trying to figure out what was going on, but he immediately averted his gaze.

Something was clearly wrong.

The way he was hunching his big back made him look like a big, sad dog whose owner had gone off on a walk without him.

Jeez, did you really want a souvenir that badly? I thought.

But the moment that thought crossed my mind, I realized something: Robert, Isaac, Lilia, and I often moved around in a little herd. Part of it was that we were all in the same class, but...I guess you could say that the four of us were a group.

Lilia and I had traveled to the West together, and I’d bought a souvenir for Isaac—a separate souvenir, not just one of the souvenirs I’d gotten for all our classmates.

Robert had probably been expecting one too. That would explain why he’d looked so dejected when I’d told him I hadn’t gotten him anything, and his weird expression was probably a result of him being uncharacteristically restrained in letting that show. He was trying not to act unreasonable.

But no matter how he tried to hide it, he was visibly upset, and just looking at him made me deeply uncomfortable.

Come on, why do you have to look so torn up about this? You’d think I was mercilessly bullying you or something.

At this point, though, it would kind of feel like I was leaving him out if I didn’t come up with something to give him. I just wished that he could throw a tantrum and demand a souvenir instead of beating around the bush and acting all depressed.

I mean, it wasn’t like I’d gotten Isaac anything special. I’d given him Coke bottle glasses, for God’s sake.

It was such classic Robert behavior to get jealous over a gag gift that the recipient didn’t even like, though. Honestly, his cluelessness never ceased to astound me.

Oh, Robert, I thought, sighing.

The only thing I could think of to give him was a little souvenir I’d bought for myself, but...oh, well.

I opened my bag again and rummaged around for it.

“Here.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve already used it a number of times, but if that doesn’t bother you, then it’s yours,” I said, handing him a knife in a little case.

I’d ended up having to open a surprising number of letters while I’d been away in the West, so I’d turned the knife I’d bought myself there into a letter opener.

The blade was an unusual color, made out of a metal that was used in everything in the West. It had a nice heft to it too, and it cut through things easily.

Now that I was back, though, I didn’t see much letter writing in my future. Besides, I had an actual letter opener at home, and I usually got the apprentice butler to open my letters anyway. It wasn’t like it was an expensive knife either. I wouldn’t be all that torn up about parting with it.

Seeing Robert look so depressed was much more of an imposition than having to give away the souvenir I’d bought for myself.

“C-Commander...!”

Robert made a big deal of accepting the knife, holding it reverently as he looked up at me with eyes that sparkled three times brighter than usual.

Oh, crap. He looks a little too thrilled about this.

I didn’t want a dejected Robert on my conscience, but having to deal with him when he was over the moon like this came with its own problems.

Does the word “moderation” not exist in your dictionary? I wondered.

You know how some people go straight from zero to a hundred? Well, Robert went from negative a billion to a billion. There was no in between.

“I love it! Thank you!” Robert said.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m glad you like it.”

“I’ll be sure to treasure this precious keepsake!”

“Okay, you don’t need to go that far.”

Seriously, don’t joke about that. Anything that becomes a prince’s precious keepsake automatically becomes a national treasure. I’m not about to let you make a national treasure of some cheap trinket I bought abroad for like two thousand yen.

“Th-That’s so unfair...” someone said.

I turned to look in the direction of the voice and saw Lilia standing in the classroom doorway. Her shoulders were trembling.

“Wh-Where’s my souvenir, Ellie?! I want one too!”

“Lilia, you came on the trip to the West with me,” I reminded her.

“Come to think of it, you haven’t even bought me that dress you promised me either!”

Tch... You remembered that?

And here I thought that had just been kind of left up in the air.

“I saved your life in that dungeon, didn’t I? I think that was enough to cancel my debt,” I said.

“No! I won’t stand for this!”

“Anyway, check out Isaac’s new glasses,” I said.

“There you go again, trying to— Pfft! Hah hah hah! Ellie, stop! That’s so mean! Hah hah hah!”

“If you don’t stop this immediately, I’m going to be very angry,” Isaac warned.

“Yeah, Commander. Stop teasing poor Isaac like—pfft! Heh heh!”

Bam!

Isaac slammed his hands on the desk and abruptly stood up. Immediately, everyone stopped laughing.

He quickly adjusted his Coke bottle glasses and said, in a voice that sounded like it came from the depths of the earth, “You can figure out the homework on your own, Burton.”

“Hey, I’m sorry! Really!”

I could tell he was legitimately furious.

Without Isaac to help me, the prospect of repeating a year felt exponentially more likely. I couldn’t let that happen. I knew I’d have to show him I was earnestly repentant, but if I kept laughing every time I saw him in those Coke bottle glasses, then that was going to take a long time.

First things first: The glasses have to come off.

Lecherous, Lolicon Teacher

It was summer break.

And yet, here I was at school, sitting at my desk. Apparently, I had to take supplementary lessons—making up for everything I’d fallen behind on during my stay in the West. This way, the school could ensure I’d meet my attendance requirement, and I could take any exams I’d missed.

They were a lot more lenient about attendance requirements, credits, and the like here in Diagrantz than I remembered them being in modern-day Japan, but unsurprisingly, a three-month absence was pushing it.

Christopher and Lilia were straight A students, so they probably wouldn’t have any issues. But if I left these gaps in my studies, it would only be a matter of time before I fell behind—and that would put my graduation in jeopardy.

So, if I thought about this all rationally, I knew that I had no right to complain about my stint at summer school. If anything, I ought to have been grateful.

I was keenly aware of my situation—painfully aware, even.

Honestly, I was sure that even teachers would prefer to just do away with summer school. They probably sucked it up and dragged themselves into class every day for the students (and, by extension, because it was their job), even though they were dying inside. I was keenly aware of that too, and I was grateful for their sacrifice.

But when faced with the prospect of being the only one to suffer through summer school while everyone else was out living it up and enjoying their summer break, I couldn’t help but think, No, thanks.

I mean, sure, Lilia was with me...so technically I wasn’t the only one...but my point still stood.

If I could be blunt about it: It was a pain in the ass.

I didn’t really have any other plans, but that didn’t change the fact that, given the choice, I would just rather not go.

For Christ’s sake... Why do I have to sacrifice my precious summer break to come here and study, of all things?

“Pay attention, Burton!” the teacher scolded me, interrupting my space-out session.

Look, I know what you’re thinking: “At least look like you’re listening.” And that’s fair, but hear me out for a minute—just because someone is listening, it doesn’t mean that they’re actually understanding anything.

Even if I knit my brows and nodded along like I was listening closely...that would have absolutely no bearing on my level of comprehension. Now consider this: No matter how closely I listened in class, I doubted it would change my test scores.

If I didn’t even pretend to listen, then when my abysmal test scores came back, the teacher could always say, “You could do better if you just listened in class.”

But if I looked like I was listening and still did terribly on the test, then we’d both feel bad that all my effort was for nothing.

So, really, I was doing us both a favor.

I stared at the teacher as he explained a problem to us in great detail.

His name was Cain Fisher, and he was a romanceable side character in the Royal LOVERS fandisc. He had messy olive green hair and a five-o’clock shadow. He was pretty tall, but since he was always hunching his shoulders, he looked a lot shorter than he really was.

Despite the fact that he was a physics teacher, he wore a white lab coat around his shoulders like he was some sort of chemistry teacher.

He was a fairly good-looking guy, I guess (unsurprisingly, considering that he was a love interest—and, more generally, an otome game character), but he couldn’t get rid of the sloppy impression that his unkempt hair and droopy eyes gave him.

Basically, he was one of those classic apathetic characters.

But girls love a sad sack. And they go crazy for a personality discrepancy. An apathetic older man hit the sweet spot for a lot of players.

His route, which was on the fandisc, took place during spring break of the main character’s second year of high school—just after the main story ended. If you picked the secret love interest, Yoh, or one of the main four love interests, then you began the fandisc story in an already established relationship. You could enjoy all of the heart-pounding, sickeningly sweet romance that made you barf up rainbows right from the beginning.

But if you picked Cain’s route (aka the teacher route), then it became canon that the main character hadn’t romanced anyone during the main story...clearing the way for a forbidden love with her teacher.

Come to think of it, didn’t that route start with summer school? I thought, remembering the game.

I looked over at Cain, only to see him staring languidly at Lilia as she solved a problem.

Suddenly, I realized something: The main story is over now, and we’ve passed the fandisc’s timeline...but Cain is still here.

I was still holding out hope for the four plus one love interests to win Lilia’s heart, but it occurred to me that Cain still had a bunch of events to cash in on. There was every chance that he and Lilia could hit it off.

If he could take the man-eating hell-raiser off my hands, I’d be set. Lilia could have someone else to make moon eyes at, and maybe she could even help heal the trauma of his dark past or whatever with the power of love or something. Everyone stood to benefit.

That being said...I wasn’t sure about giving my blessing to a teacher who’d make a pass at one of his students.

Sure, it was a classic otome-game-slash-shojo-manga cliché, so it was undeniable that there were plenty of girls out there who ate that up...but when it came right down to it, it was just kind of weird in real life.

After you become an adult, high school students ought to seem like children to you. Even university students seemed like kids to anyone who’d set their foot in the working world; high school students were just on a completely different level.

I mean, first-year high school students were young enough to see a pediatrician until their last birthday. When you thought about it that way, they were a completely unacceptable choice for any adult to romance.

Besides, teacher-student romances might have been appealing in fiction, but that wasn’t reality. That was the whole point of what made them fun to read about.

It was exactly like one of those otome games where a commoner suddenly got to attend a school exclusively for aristocrats. It was only entertaining because it was fiction; you’d never want that to happen to you in real life.

Similarly, if a full-grown man in real life was looking at high school students (who’d been prepubescent children until only recently) as potential romantic options...well, he had some issues.

It was understandable why a child might look up to an adult and fantasize about a romance with them, but an adult wasn’t supposed to reciprocate their affection.

The reason was pretty simple, actually: We were talking about a literal child. No matter how mature they might act, they were still a child. So the vast majority of adults probably wouldn’t even be interested in reciprocating.

Besides, grown men had plenty of women their age to choose from. There were plenty of older women on the market too. Three point five billion, as a matter of fact.

If a man specifically chose to pursue a high school girl, it wasn’t a coincidence.

The kind of man who would pass up the giant pool of women his age or older—or rather, maybe he was being passed up—to chase after a child was the kind of man that raised a bunch of red flags to other adults.

It was hard to feel anything but pity for the children who were drawn to them. You just wanted to take them to the side and tell them, “That man you have a crush on? From an adult’s perspective, he’s a creep with totally impaired judgment.”

To be fair, though, that was how people saw things in my past life.

In this world, there were a bunch of girls from noble families who got married immediately after graduating. There were several girls who were already engaged even though they were in school. Some of them married young men their own age, but some married men much, much older. In fact, the latter camp was probably in the majority.

Sexual contact with a minor wasn’t a clear-cut crime in this world either. So it wasn’t really appropriate to bring my past-life values into the discussion. I was keenly aware of that, but...

Having said that, when I looked at my teacher now, I was looking at a real-life adult man. Seeing the man I’d known as a video game character through this fresh lens, I realized he was nothing but a lecherous, lolicon teacher. I’d never thought of him this way while I’d played Royal LOVERS, but now all I could think when I saw him was This guy’s a dangerous creep.

I turned to look at Lilia.

She was completely absorbed in her textbook, furiously jotting down formulas or something. Her face was just inches away from her desk. Her posture was abysmal. That can’t be good for your eyes, I thought.

Just like me, Lilia was probably well into adulthood (if you added her years from her past life to her current one). If you were to put it that way, there would be nothing objectionable about her and Cain having a relationship...but knowing that did little to erase the impact that her high school girl appearance made.

After I stared at her profile for a while, Lilia suddenly whipped her head up.

She looked at me, and our eyes met. I was struck, as always, by how adorable she was. It was like I was noticing that for the first time every time I looked at her.

I’d been so distracted by what a hell-raiser she was on the inside that I’d completely forgotten about how beautiful she was on the outside. She was a real peach—the kind you only came across once in a lifetime.

As I was thinking that, I watched her sweet little face turn into a tomato.

“Wh-What is it, Ellie?” she asked.

“I was just watching you.”

“Have you fallen in love with me?!”

“No.”

Mr. Fisher clapped his hands lazily.

“Okay, kids. Books open, mouths shut, please,” he said.

Flustered, Lilia returned to her notebook. I didn’t really feel like doing any work, so I just flipped absentmindedly through my textbook.

I was desperate for Lilia to fall in love with someone who wasn’t me, but...as a fellow reincarnator from Japan, and also as the person directly responsible for ruining her otome game experience, I also wanted her to find some sort of happiness. (As long as it didn’t negatively impact me.)

So...it didn’t have to be this lecherous, lolicon teacher of ours.

◇◇◇

“Watch out, Lilia,” I warned her during our lunch break.

“Huh?”

Lilia cocked her head, looking confused.

Unsurprisingly, there were only a few people on campus other than the two of us. It was summer vacation, after all. The cafeteria wasn’t open, so it had become a routine for us to bring our lunches to school and eat in the classroom.

And, since no one else was around, I didn’t need to worry about being discreet.

“Mr. Fisher might try to make a move.”

“You mean, like in the summer school events in the fandisc?”

I nodded. It seemed like Lilia was on the same page.

But as she nibbled on her sandwich, she made a low hum of disagreement.

“I don’t get any weird vibes from him, though,” she said.

“Well, you never know what he might do. We’re talking about a lecherous, lolicon teacher here.”

“A lecherous, lolicon teacher?!” Lilia repeated, practically shrieking.

Huh... That phrase really packs a punch when you say it out loud.

“You do realize that high school girls aren’t lolis, don’t you?!”

“Look, it’s one thing in a video game. But think about this rationally. If a teacher tries to make a pass at a high schooler in real life, the only appropriate response is yikes.”

“Y-You think so? There’s something kind of appealing about a forbidden romance, though.”

I was surprised that she didn’t automatically agree with me, considering that we’d ostensibly come from the same world in our past lives. Maybe our difference in perspectives stemmed from a generation gap? I did feel like there was a significant difference in our mental ages.

A little bit of ketchup clung to Lilia’s cheek as she puzzled over it all, so I reached over and wiped it off with my finger.

See? You really are still just a kid.

“Listen, Lilia. An upstanding adult man doesn’t make advances on high school girls. Any man who does just looks like a predator in the eyes of other adults.”

“But being unable to contain your passion despite the age difference and the taboo of it all is exactly what makes forbidden love so exciting, right?!” she protested.

“If it’s true love, then surely it can wait a few years? Why not start dating after graduation?”

“B-Because...the flames of love burn so hot that they...can’t wait...?”

I shook my head.

“Nope. It’s because the predatory men who go for high school girls do it because of their age, not in spite of it.”

“Y-You aren’t pulling any punches today!” Lilia replied, looking astonished.

It was pretty blunt, in all fairness. I mean, there was nothing to say to that. But it was the truth, so how else was I supposed to put it?

In shojo manga and the like that featured romances between high school girls and older men, the man was always telling the girl, “You’re just confused,” or “You’d be better off with someone else.” Honestly, though, those sentiments probably applied more to the men themselves.

“What proof do you have that those ‘burning flames of love’ won’t flare up later for another girl? None. Even if they end up dating, he’ll just want to move right on to the next high school girl.”

“That’s harsh, Ellie!” Lilia exclaimed. Then she mumbled, “How am I supposed to even look at Mr. Fisher now?”

I just shrugged.

If you’re doing something you shouldn’t be, then the biggest psychological hurdle you have to overcome is the first one. Basically, if you’ve done something once, there will be a second time, and a third, and so on. That’s just how it works.

“Well, we’re not in the fandisc’s timeline right now, so I don’t think there’ll be any issue. But keep your guard up, just in case,” I said.

“Eh heh.”

I’d been expecting a “yes” or a “no”—not an “eh heh.”

And what’s with that smug smirk on her face?

“What was that?” I asked, genuinely mystified.

Her smirk softened into a limp smile.

“It’s just nice to know you worry about me,” she replied.

When she turned to look at me, her blushing face looked so sweet and innocent, and yet...there was a disturbing glint in her gaze. Behind the hearts in her eyes, I saw a flash of some predatory instinct that she couldn’t hide no matter how hard she tried.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“No.”

“Which means you’re in love with me!”

“No.”

Where does she get all of these weird ideas? I thought, sighing. This is what I get for being concerned about a friend, I guess.

When I shot a glare at her, she puffed her lips out in a pout.

“You are in love with me! Just admit it already!” she cried.

“You’d better hurry up and finish your lunch before Mr. Fisher gets back.”

“Mmgh!”

I shoved the rest of Lilia’s sandwich in her mouth to shut her up.

At this point, I was so fed up that I’d give her to anyone who’d take her off my hands—even a lecherous, lolicon teacher.

◇◇◇

“Yep. You got every answer right. Douglas, you can go home now.”

“O-Okay.”

With Mr. Fisher’s blessing, Lilia began gathering her things and tidying up her desk. I closed my book too and put my bag on top of the desk.

“Uh-uh-uh. Who said you were dismissed?”

“It’s my duty as a gentleman to escort her.”

“That’s nice, but you’re not done with your work yet,” Mr. Fisher said.

He whacked the worksheet he was holding with his other hand, sighing.

I sat back down and stared at the worksheet. Something was very wrong with the math in this world. This was supposed to be a slightly bastardized clone of medieval Europe, so why was I learning the exact same formulas I’d learned during the course of my high school education in modern Japan?

The same went for physics and chemistry. Did the game’s writers not do any background research into the level of knowledge people had back in the day? Did they think they’d get a free pass just because it was an otome game produced in Japan?

That being said, I guess having to learn Copernican theory would have come with its own set of problems...

Lilia waited around for me for a while as I stared, brow furrowed, at the worksheet in front of me. But eventually, Mr. Fisher told her to get going before it got dark, so she trudged home alone.

As I watched her leave, I felt a rolled-up textbook hit my head.

“Back to work! This old geezer doesn’t get to leave until you do,” Mr. Fisher said.

He sighed as he sat back down in his chair.

It was kind of weird that he was calling himself an “old geezer” when he was probably still in his early twenties, at most. But then again, I guessed fiction had pretty brutal standards when it came to what counted as “old.” I just wished that someone would think of the poor guys who were legitimately old.

I finally managed to finish filling in my answer sheet, so I handed it over to Mr. Fisher.

He quickly marked it up in red and thrust it back at me.

“Seventy points,” he said.

Great. I passed.

You had to get at least sixty points to pass, so as long as I’d cleared that hurdle, I didn’t really care whether I got seventy or one hundred. It was all the same to me.

As I started packing up my things in high spirits, knowing that I’d finally get to go home, I heard Mr. Fisher sigh again.

“You took your classes more seriously last year... Why’d you suddenly stop applying yourself?”

“I got burned out,” I said as I grabbed my bag and stood up.

I couldn’t exactly just come out and say that, back then, I’d just been working my butt off to make Lilia fall for me...but I figured burnout was as good an excuse as any.

Mr. Fisher stood up from his desk too, apparently also ready to leave.

Then, suddenly, he looked up at me.

“You’ve grown so much,” he said, his voice full of emotion.

“Uh? Sure...”

I had no idea what was talking about, but I just agreed anyway.

If he straightened his back, Mr. Fisher would probably be just barely 180 centimeters tall—which meant he had several centimeters on me.

But something about his words struck me as odd. I hadn’t really grown any taller since I’d started high school, but from the way he spoke, you’d have thought that he knew me back when I’d been much shorter.

He just kept looking up at me for a while, until finally, he scratched his head and turned around.

“I guess I’d be the taller one between the two of us if you weren’t wearing those shoes, though.”

At the mention of shoes, my eyes went wide.

As far as I was aware, the only people who knew about my elevator shoes were my brothers, who lived with me, and Edward, who’d heard about them from my older brother.

I’d never even taken my shoes off in public, so there was no way that anyone else should’ve known about them.

If anyone did catch on...they’d only be able to figure it out from the very subtle difference in the way my footsteps sounded or the way that I walked.

As I walked behind Mr. Fisher, following him out of the school building, I stared at his lazily slumped shoulders. He looked wide open to attack, like he wasn’t paying any attention to his surroundings. But only when I stopped to look for it did I notice the subtle energy that told me that he was paying attention.

He might have looked clueless, but he wasn’t.

It was then that I remembered the handful of times that he’d picked up on my presence, even when I was being stealthy—like when I’d tried to disappear after Yoh had caused a scene in class.

I’d thought that we’d made eye contact, but I’d assumed at the time that it had just been in my head. Apparently, though, I’d been dead wrong.

Right... Well, I guess his reputation as the strongest character in the game isn’t wholly undeserved, then.

Mr. Fisher suddenly stopped walking and turned around to look at me.

We’d just reached a fork in the road—one hallway led to the staff room, and the other led to the stairs that took you to the school’s front doors.

“When did you get so...dashing? You know, it’s funny... You used to be such a cute little thing.”

“Huh?”

“Get home safely.”

With a little wave of his hand, he headed into the staff room.

For a moment, I just stared at him and watched him leave, unable to process what he’d just said. When it finally hit me what he meant, a chill ran down my spine.

Shit.

He really is a lecherous, lolicon teacher.

◇◇◇

Cain Fisher, the main character’s homeroom teacher and bonus love interest (in the fandisc), had figured out that I wore elevator shoes—and I had a feeling that I knew how.

See, the truth was, he wasn’t just any old homeroom teacher; he was also a knight in the top secret first division of the Knights’ Brigade, which reported directly to the royal family.

And here’s another piece of trivia for you: The first division was such a big secret that no one even knew it existed. Even your average knight in the Royal Guard would probably only have heard semi-credible sounding whispers about the division, but those whispers would have never reached nobles and townsfolk.

The Knights’ Brigade in Diagrantz began with the Royal Guard and ended at the thirteenth division, making thirteen divisions in total.

Now, if you can do basic math, then it’s probably occurred to you that this should have resulted in a total of fourteen divisions, since we’re including the Royal Guard in addition to all the numbered ones.

“So why,” you ask, “are there only thirteen?”

It’s because the first division was missing. Even when I’d gathered recommendation letters from the knights, back when I’d started at the academy, I’d never received one from the first division.

The first division—the missing division—was the only one that carried the responsibility of always working behind the scenes. They’d slip into other divisions or aristocratic gatherings for missions that ranged from escorting someone to assassinating them. If the royal family had dirty work that it needed done, they were the division for the job.

Essentially, it was a shadow organization. Even if you did something that would have earned you honors or medals in another division, it could never see the light.

Among the first-division knights was Mr. Fisher, who, despite outwardly appearing to be nothing more than an apathetic homeroom teacher, was actually such a brilliant knight that he was regularly referred to by Royal LOVERS fans as “the strongest character in the game.” Basically, he was a Gary Stu.

So, taking all of that into account, he could’ve easily discerned that I was wearing elevator shoes from my footsteps or the way that I walked.

In the game, Mr. Fisher was dispatched on a top secret mission to protect the saint (i.e., the main character) while she was at the academy. That probably explained why he’d shown up in my second year of high school, when Lilia had transferred in, to replace the female homeroom teacher I’d had in my first year.

In his route in the fandisc, he routinely saves the main character from little things that pop up over the course of her school life. Then, one day, after a completely unexpected turn of events—okay, not really, it’s actually your classic love-interest-saves-you-from-a-bad-guy action scene—she finds out that he’s actually been protecting her from the shadows this whole time. And, of course...she falls in love with him.

But even though he realizes that she’s in love with him, he doesn’t reciprocate at first. He agonizes over how he doesn’t deserve to be with someone like her after he’s taken so many lives.

(I wish he would have agonized over the fact that she was a high school girl, but unfortunately, there was no depiction of this.)

Anyway, the main character continues to shower him with love, even through the course of all sorts of trials and tribulations, and eventually they end up together and get their happy ending.

Back when I’d played through his route, I couldn’t help but wonder how much of it had been thought through from the beginning and how much had just been made up on the fly.

He’d been in the original game, and the voice actor that they’d chosen for him was a pretty strong indicator that they’d planned to make him a love interest later on, but it was unclear how much of his backstory they had figured out.

A lot of otome games end up getting fandiscs, but it’s never a given.

Some stand-alone games feel complete enough to consumers that they don’t want anymore, so even when there are plans for a sequel or a fandisc, they can end up getting scrapped.

If the original game had been a flop, then Mr. Fisher’s route might have never seen the light of day.

When I thought about all the factors that a fandisc’s release hinged upon, I found myself feeling grateful that Royal LOVERS had gotten one.

Players were always lamenting the many subplots, characters, and moments of foreshadowing that hadn’t gotten fleshed out in the main game. There were probably a bunch of games out there that had been written with a future sequel in mind, only to wind up feeling half-baked when that sequel was never released.

But hey, what would I know?

In any case, even if Mr. Fisher’s backstory explained why he’d known about my elevator shoes, it still didn’t explain why he was acting like he’d known me when I’d been a little girl. I mean, the way he’d talked about me, you would have thought I was a member of some sort of J-pop idol group.

Before I’d started cross-dressing, the original Elizabeth Burton had just been a normal little girl...which meant that she could easily have been on his radar.

The thing was, I had absolutely no memory of ever meeting him as a little girl. As far as I was aware, we’d never met until he became my homeroom teacher last year.

Does he use his position as a knight in the first division to go around stalking little girls from noble families—excuse me, I mean, to “protect them from the shadows”?

Jesus... That’s a terrifying thought. Someone hurry up and arrest this creep.

I was mulling this all over just as my older brother was returning from the duchy, so I decided to ask him about it over tea.

“Hey, when I was a little girl, did some freak going by the name of Cain Fisher ever loiter around our family home?” I asked.

At this, my older brother blinked his blue eyes as they sat, partially buried, above his puffy cheeks. Then he cocked his head in confusion.

“You don’t remember, Lizzie?”

“Huh? Remember what?”

“When you were little, Cain used to play with you whenever he came to the duchy.”

This time, it was my turn to blink in surprise.

At the duchy? When I was little?

When I was little—that was to say, when I was the original Elizabeth Burton—I used to go to the duchy twice a year with my family every summer and winter. I remembered having picnics by the stream and taking naps with my mother and older brother in the gazebo.

But I had absolutely no recollection of ever seeing Mr. Fisher there.

“You absolutely adored him. You used to say, ‘I want to marry Mr. Cain when I grow up!’”

“Huh... I don’t remember that at all.”

“You don’t? Hmm... I guess you were probably too young to remember,” my brother said, looking puzzled as he cocked his head.

Even though I’d been a slightly different person before I’d reached seven years old and regained my past-life memories, it wasn’t like my memories from before then had completely disappeared. That part of my life felt more like muscle memory now, like how manners and the things you learned in class became ingrained, but those memories were still there.

My table manners and etiquette were evidence that I hadn’t lost those memories. I even remembered making flower crowns in the garden with my older brother. Unfortunately, I also remembered the mortifying incident when I’d cried about not being able to marry him.

This was the first time that my older brother had told me about a memory that didn’t spark any hint of recognition in me, though.

I was sure that there were other things I’d forgotten about too, but...it was weird that all of my memories of Cain Fisher had been completely wiped away.

I mean, how did that even happen?

Was it possible that something had happened that the original Elizabeth Burton didn’t want to remember, and that she had intentionally locked those memories away deep in her heart? This was a lecherous, lolicon teacher we were talking about, after all. There was a decent chance that he might have done something that left a psychological scar on the tenderhearted, innocent little girl. It wasn’t out of the question that he might’ve done something so bad, she’d want to bury it in her memory.

“Was there something wrong with Cain?” I asked.

“No. Nothing,” my older brother replied with a smile.

I racked my brains, trying to figure out what to make of this all.

Lilia would be graduating in half a year, and I was pretty sure that she’d just had a birthday. So, that would’ve made her eighteen.

Surely it would be better for everyone if Mr. Fisher could cozy up with her instead of little girls who hadn’t even reached the age of seven? And if he got into a relationship with Lilia, he probably wouldn’t have eyes for anyone else. Maybe she could even heal his predilection with the power of love, or something?

My older brother, who had no idea what kind of mental gymnastics I was currently performing, just kept cocking his head in confusion.

Masochistic Fantasy

When the weekend finally came, I paid a visit to the training grounds.

I’d gotten a little rusty after all those months I’d spent in the West. If I’d had my way, I would’ve been training twenty-four seven. Unfortunately, though, I hadn’t accounted for the fact that I’d be subjected to summer school five days a week. So...so much for that.

I said hello to the instructors who’d arrived before me, and placed a wooden box that I’d been carrying under my arm onto a table in the instructors’ quarters.

I’d brought some souvenirs for the cadets the other day, but thanks to a holdup of some sort at customs, I hadn’t had the chance to give the instructors theirs until now.

Anyway, whatever issue customs had had with it, I’d purchased this souvenir legitimately.

“Sorry it took me so long to give this to you, but here. A souvenir from the West,” I said.

“Ooh, what’s this? Booze?!”

“Who knew you were so thoughtful, Commander?”

Okay, now that was just unnecessary...

The instructors crowded around the wooden box, buzzing with excitement as they pulled out a bottle and inspected it. It seemed my souvenir had been well received.

“Christopher picked that out,” I said, taking my change of clothes out of my bag.

“I’d expect nothing less from a member of the Honorable Duke’s family,” one instructor said appreciatively.

“You sure you’re related, Commander?”

Again: completely unnecessary.

I couldn’t believe the flak I was getting.

Here I am, trying to be a thoughtful coworker and respect my seniors, and this is the thanks I get? Guess no good deed goes unpunished.

This was hardly an isolated incident either. Just recently, I’d tried to be a good sport and join in on their locker room talk, and they’d begged me to “Please just stay out of it.”

And they had the nerve to suggest I wasn’t thoughtful...

Just as I was about to head over to the changing room, though, I remembered that I had another bone to pick with them.

“That reminds me. My little brother tells me you’ve been teaching him some deranged stuff.”

“What deranged stuff?”

“The ‘foundations of shibari,’ for instance? Care to explain what that’s all about?”

At this, a strange tension fell over the room.

Gried walked over to me with heavy footsteps and put both hands on my shoulders.

Actually, that makes it sound a lot less dramatic than what really happened. He didn’t “put” his hands on my shoulders so much as he clapped them. There was a loud, heavy wham and everything.

“Commander... He has a natural talent,” Gried said.

A natural talent for what,exactly?

“His swordsmanship is nothing special, but I’ve never had the pleasure of seeing someone learn the ropes so quickly.”

“Yeah,” another instructor chimed in. “He really ought to hone his craft.”

“There’s a real demand for gentle types like him who wouldn’t even hurt a fly.”

Like hell I’m going to let him “hone his craft.” You can’t just go around unearthing weird fetishes in people’s younger brothers, you know, I thought, indignant. I clenched my fist and cast a glance at the instructors for emphasis, but they all quickly averted their gazes.

These idiots were doing a number on Christopher’s education as a future member of polite society—and mine too, might I add.

For God’s sake... Who knew upstanding adults were such a scarcity in this world?

“I’ll let Christopher know that he won’t be coming to the training grounds anymore,” I said.

“You’re heartless!”

“The whole world will lose out if you do that!”

“A real waste of talent, that’s what it is!”

I kicked the instructors away as they climbed all over me, pleading with me to change my mind, and headed for the changing room.

If that’s really such a loss to the world, then it can burn for all I care. A “talent” like that ought to stay hidden for as long as he lives.

◇◇◇

The mood was grim once I emerged from the changing room. You’d have thought everyone was attending an all-night wake or something.

Oh, come on... Is this really worth getting so depressed over?

When I ignored them and started looking over the training regimen for today, Gried suddenly stood up.

“I just remembered something. Speaking of training...” he began.

I could already tell that this wasn’t going anywhere good. Personally, I felt like life was a lot rosier when the mention of training didn’t remind you of anything...but maybe that was just me.

“Do you want a dog, Commander?”

“A dog?” I repeated.

I almost followed that with “Are you talking about Robert?” but I managed to restrain myself.

It was easy to forget, but Robert was technically a prince. A pea-brained one, yes, but I had to be careful with my words. For all I knew, saying that could end with me being accused of committing lèse-majesté.

Although, despite saying that...I couldn’t help but suspect that Robert would happily declare himself my dog.

“He’s got a real aptitude, but he’s from the East, see. So, we can’t exactly assign him to protect anyone important. Honestly, we’re not really sure what to do with him.”

The dots were starting to connect.

They weren’t talking about a dog—they were talking about a fox.

I mean, okay...sure, foxes belonged to the canine family. But that wasn’t the point.

The point was, I wasn’t going to let myself get tangled up in whatever mess they’d made. I knew from experience that, in times like these, you just had to give a firm no. Otherwise, you’d be leaving yourself wide open to be taken advantage of.

“Sorry. I’m a cat person,” I replied.

“Please, I’m begging you. I can’t keep looking after him,” Gried said.

“Well, this is what you get for picking up strays without thinking about the consequences.”

It was starting to feel like we were talking about a real dog here.

From what I’d heard, Gried was an exceptionally talented interrogator...but he apparently had a bad habit of adopting his interrogees to train them, only to find himself in over his head.

First, there was that assassin from before, and now there was his new “dog.” It seemed safe to assume that they probably weren’t the only ones either.

If you can’t commit to taking care of them, then don’t adopt them. You can’t just take in dogs willy-nilly, then thrust them onto other people when they get to be too much to handle.

It sounded to me like Gried had a serious animal hoarding problem. Although, I had a feeling that wasn’t quite the phrase I was looking for...

“Even if, worst-case scenario, he ends up biting the hand that feeds him, you won’t have any trouble putting him down, Commander.”

“I’m not taking him.”

I didn’t want a dog, period—much less a dog that bit.

I probably would’ve said no to adopting a literal dog, so why would I ever say yes to adopting a metaphorical one?

“Oh, don’t be like that! He’s on board with this adoption plan too, you know. He keeps saying that he wants to be with you.”

“He does?”

This was getting fishier and fishier by the minute.

An image of the sixth prince from the East smiling like a fool suddenly flashed in my mind.

After all he’d done, he was prepared to step back into my life like nothing had happened? He was definitely up to something.

Forget worst-case scenario—as far as I was concerned, there was a one-hundred-percent chance he’d bite.

“Elizabeth!”

A ceiling panel clattered to the ground with a crash, and a man in black clothes soon dropped down from the newly created hole.

Speak of the devil...

I immediately recognized the man’s black hair; dark skin; seemingly affable, smiling eyes; and his peculiar, stilted way of speaking that sounded awfully forced. Just as I’d expected, it was Yoh.

Yoh Won Lee was the sixth prince of the East, and also an unlockable love interest in the original Royal LOVERS game.

In the game, he was just a pushy but harmless character who spoke in broken Japanese. In this warped timeline, though, he’d kidnapped the saint and almost incited a war.

High crimes like that were exactly the sort of thing that landed you behind bars; but instead of rotting away in a prison cell, he was out here strutting around like a free man for some reason.

He might have been scapegoated and left to die by his country, but he was still foreign royalty. Surely he ought to have been in some VIP prison for princes?

“If I am serving anyone, I wish it to be you! I beg of you, please use me as your humble—”

“No thanks,” I interrupted.

If I were to have really let loose, I would’ve just said, “Nice try, pal.”

He inched closer and closer, his smile only confirming my suspicions. He was definitely up to something.

“Look, I’ll give you the lowdown. Apparently, they wanted to use him as a bargaining chip...but the East wanted nothing to do with him, so they asked me to take care of him instead. I figured, hey, if he’s getting free meals, then I ought to at least try to find some use for him. So I’ve been teaching him all kinds of stuff,” Gried explained.

“I did much reflecting in jail,” Yoh chimed in. “I thought about the things you said. About my future.”

Gried stroked Yoh’s hair roughly, regarding him with an inscrutable expression.

Yoh, for his part, just rubbed his hands together as he approached me, still wearing his suspicious smile.

“I have been thinking about what I really want...and I suddenly had a realization. I wish for you to hurl insults at me again.”

“What?”

“Ooh, step on me, Elizabeth! Tell me everything I have done wrong!” Yoh cried, clinging to my leg.

I immediately kicked him off.

“What?!” I yelled.

I looked down at him as he knelt before me, staring up at me with his jet-black eyes, and a shiver ran down my spine.

Wait... Is he serious?

Surely this was all just part of his scheme, right? Surely he was just acting...right?

I’m begging you, Yoh. Please tell me you’re just putting it on right now.

“Looks like my training was a little too effective, eh?” Gried said, stroking his stubbly chin as he cocked his head.

“Too effective”? I think you mean “a catastrophic failure,” actually.

The people of Diagrantz really seemed to have a problem with cultivating weird fetishes in foreign royalty. If you asked me, Gried and Lilia ought to have been out there making apology tours in the East and the West.

As I was giving Gried a bulging-eyed glare, Yoh suddenly entered my field of vision.

He took my hand in his and rubbed his cheek on the back.

Another chill ran down my spine. Now I was getting goose bumps too.

“Please, grab my hair like you did before. Ahh... Treat me with more cruelty, I beg you...”

“Gross. Seriously, no way in hell am I doing that.”

“Please, at least let me lick your boot!”

I tried to brush his hand off, but he just clung to me harder, refusing to let go.

What I would have really liked to have done was give him a good kick or a slap upside the head to make him leave me alone, but the thought that he might actually enjoy that filled me with too much dread to follow through.

I didn’t even have anything to gain from him licking my boots. The only thing that was going to accomplish was to make me uncomfortable.

Just as I was feeling completely disgusted, Gried approached me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Just so you know, Commander, we’d lick your boots too.”

“This really isn’t a competition.”

I covered my eyes with my free left hand and turned my head up to the sky.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m surrounded by freaks.

How had they managed to cause so much chaos in the few months I’d been gone?

I had screwed-up teachers at summer school to deal with, and now screwed-up instructors at the training grounds. Respectable adults seemed to be in awfully short supply here in the world of Royal LOVERS.

This pathetic state of affairs certainly explained why kids were always being recruited to fight for humanity’s survival and carry the weight of the world on their backs in manga and video games. It was no wonder, when all of the adults were like this.

As the instructors continued badgering me, the door to the instructors’ quarters suddenly flew open.

“Comman—”

On the other side of the door stood Robert, wearing an expression of pure befuddlement. The bundle of training drill straw he’d been holding in his arms fell to the floor.

I could tell that this situation was about to take a turn for the worse. What had started as a mere pain in the ass was about to turn into a full-blown conflagration.

“D-Don’t touch Commander!”

“Rober...t?!”

In the split second that I was entertaining a delusional hope that Robert might be my lifeboat out of here, he came right up to me and lifted me up, away from Yoh. And before I could even process what was happening, he’d sat me down on his shoulders—so that Yoh couldn’t reach me, I guess.

Remarkably, I didn’t feel the pull of gravity at all during this chain of events. And that was really saying something, because I probably weighed about the same as your average adult man.

Okay, well...maybe that was an exaggeration. But I’d bet that I weighed more than your average slender-framed man, at least. So Robert had to have been insanely strong to have picked me up like that so easily.

When I looked up, I was amazed by how high my vantage point was. My head came dangerously close to hitting the ceiling.

I hadn’t ridden on someone’s shoulders like this since I’d been a kid.

Actually, I’d never ridden on my father’s shoulders in this life before...so I guess that must have been a past-life memory?

“Hey, Robert. Do you know how to do the cactus?”

“Cactus? You mean, like the plant?”

“No, the two-person gymnastics stunt.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

If he’d said “yes,” would I have asked if he wanted to do it now? Who knows. I hadn’t gotten that far in my thinking yet, but now I wouldn’t have to worry about it.

Riding on his shoulders had momentarily transported me back to a more childlike state of mind, but it wasn’t like we could keep this up indefinitely. I tapped on Robert’s arms, which were holding my legs in place.

“Okay. Time to let me down,” I said.

“I don’t want to,” came his immediate reply.

He was clearly still wary of Yoh, whom he eyed with a deep glare.

Seeing that serious expression reminded me of his in-game portrait. He’d probably be more popular with the girls if he always brooded like that, but...I was so used to him wearing that cheerful, twinkly-eyed smile that seeing him like this kind of weirded me out.

“Have you forgotten what he did to you?” Robert asked, his voice a low growl.

“He didn’t manage to do anything in the end, as far as I can recall.”

“I know... But still.”

He was still staring daggers at Yoh, looking like he was ready to snap at him at any moment.

If he were a dog, he’d probably be baring his teeth and growling right now, I thought.

“What’s he doing here, anyway?” Robert asked.

“I just thought he could be Commander’s guard dog,” Gried replied.

“Guard dog...?”

Robert fell silent, as if he were giving the idea serious consideration. Then he turned to me and said, with an intense earnestness, “A-Am I not good enough?!”

“Huh?” I blurted out in reply.

I mean, I know I’d said that I could easily see Robert declaring himself my dog, and yeah, he’d probably turn around three times and bark if I told him to, but...surely he wouldn’t lick my boots or anything, would he?

Then Robert’s glare fell, and suddenly, he looked just like an abandoned puppy.

But the fact of the matter was that I didn’t want a guard dog; nor did I want anyone licking my boots.

“I don’t even want a guard dog,” I said, shaking my head.

“I’m stronger than he is!” Robert cried, ignoring me. “I’d be of much more use to you than he’d ever be! If you need someone to protect you, then please let me do the job! I can be your sword or your shield, your—”

“Will you listen?”

My ears were still ringing from hearing him yell at me point-blank.

Knock it off, Robert, or you’ll give me hearing loss.

Obviously I didn’t want Yoh protecting me, but I didn’t care for the idea of Robert doing it either. It would be a serious pain in the butt having a prince for a bodyguard—there was just no way around that.

Besides, what was the point in having either of them as a bodyguard if they were both weaker than me? All they’d do was hold me back.

“Well, Yoh said it himself: If he has to serve someone, then he wants it to be Commander.”

“H-How dare you?! You’ve got some nerve saying that after you tried to kill her!”

“Non, non! That is all in the past now, and we must not keep looking behind us. It is time for us to live in the moment!”

Since Robert was completely unable to resist taking the bait, a blue vein bulged out of his temple at Yoh’s provocation.

“Excuse me?!” he cried.

Without thinking, I reached out and touched the vein.

Oh, that’s bulging all right...

Yoh looked up at me as I sat on Robert’s shoulders.

“I have made my decision. From now on, Elizabeth, I will live as your shadow,” Yoh said.

“You can’t just decide that for yourself.”

“But, Elizabeth! You are the one who said to me, ‘Just live your life already’!”

Huh. Did I say that?

Okay, maybe I did, but I’m pretty sure that the implied caveat was “As long as your actions don’t impact me.”

Yoh smiled. It was a charming smile, but there was definitely something fishy about it. He couldn’t be trusted.

“Elizabeth, please use me. Do you know that I would die for you?”

“Kinda weird to hear that from the guy who sobbed and begged for his life a few months ago.”

“If only I could leave a lasting scar on your heart that you will never forget. Then I would be satisfied,” he said, smiling all the way to his jet-black eyes.

Another shiver ran down my spine.

I knew it. He is just trying to hurt me somehow.

I had no idea what label to slap on his twisted emotional state, but I knew that it was ugly. Whatever hatred-slash-anger-slash-resentment he felt, I wished he’d just stop directing it at me.

Goose bumps prickled my flesh as I covered myself with my arms protectively, glaring at him.

“Like I said, I don’t want a guard dog.”

“Ahh... It feels good even when you are cold to me.”

My blunt rejection was clearly in vain. It was obvious that he was too busy relishing in the masochistic fantasy of me hurling insults at him.

So I gave up on trying to reason with Yoh and turned instead to glare at Gried. But as soon as I looked at him, he gave me a thumbs-up, as if to say, You tell ’im!

Hey, don’t give me that. I’m not looking for your seal of approval here.

“I will stay by your side from dawn until dusk, twenty-four hours a day, at all times and everywhere. I will watch over you always, and I will never, ever leave your side!”

“A-At all times and everywhere?! Always?!” Robert repeated, his eyes opening wide. Then he turned to me again with an intense earnestness and said, “C-Commander! Please make me your guard dog instead!”

“Consider both of your requests denied.”

“Ahh... That look in your eyes... I love it...♡” Yoh moaned, as if he were experiencing some delicious agony.

“You bastard! Stay away from Commander!” Robert cried, clearly affronted.

Just as I was getting completely fed up with their antics, the door to the instructors’ quarters opened again.

Christopher stood outside the door, mouth agape as he looked up to see me on Robert’s shoulders.

“S...is? Wh-What’s going on here...?”

That’s exactly what I’d like to know, actually.

◇◇◇

Ultimately, I decided to let Robert and Yoh have their fun for a while... Which is to say, I left them alone while they roughhoused.

I liked to think it would end in a sense of accomplishment for all of us. Robert and Yoh would probably feel satisfied that at least they’d done something, and I’d feel relieved to wash my hands of them.

I only hoped that they would keep going until one of them was completely exhausted—or ideally, until both of them were.

As I was putting the other cadets through grueling drills, I took a look around the training grounds. Suddenly, I realized that something was amiss.

There were fewer instructors than usual.

To be a bit more specific, there were just as many of the permanent instructors (like Gried) who were stationed at the training grounds full-time...but there were fewer of the temporary dispatch instructors-slash-knights who came to help out from the Knights’ Brigade.

The world of Royal LOVERS—including the kingdom of Diagrantz—was a peaceful one, so it was hard to imagine that the knights would have been given marching orders...

Hmm. Maybe they’re away at some big function? I wondered.

But when I asked Gried about it, he just stroked his stubbled chin and cocked his head.

“You haven’t heard, Commander?” he asked.

“Heard what, exactly?”

“About the witch.”

A strange sense of unease came over me.

This world really didn’t have any fantasy elements, with the sole exception of the saint. As far as I was aware, there was no such thing as magic here, much less witches or mages.

“Oh, come on. We’re not living in a fairy tale,” I said.

“Well, I’ve only heard about her secondhand...but apparently, she’s been haunting the town night after night...” Gried began, before suddenly trailing off. Then he lowered his voice and whispered into my ear, “They say she’s bewitchingly beautiful.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“And that only one meeting with her is enough to put you under her spell. There won’t be room in your head for anything but her.”

It was weird to hear Gried, who was always goofing around, speaking about this in such a serious tone.

I was also struggling to see what the big deal was, to be honest. So what if there was a beautiful woman in town? It was hardly an exaggeration to say that this world was chock-full of heartthrobs. There were ridiculously attractive people everywhere you looked.

If the sight of a beautiful face was enough to make you lose control of all your cognitive faculties, then your mind would be going blank every time you took three steps through the castle halls. I mean, you’d probably turn into stone as soon as you laid eyes on one of the princes. For your own good, I’d suggest that you flee that capital posthaste.

Maybe it was more than just beauty, though... Maybe the sight of this woman was just so striking that you couldn’t think of anything else?

I could think of a few women like that, actually: The slit-mouthed woman from Japanese folklore and Hasshaku-sama, the beautiful woman in the white dress and white broad-rimmed hat from that old creepypasta, for instance.

If this “witch” was more like something from one of those urban legends or ghost stories, then personally, I felt like she ought to be left to the experts. It was time to call up that bald guy from the copypastas—you know, the psychic who was born in a temple or whatever.

My skepticism must’ve been written all over my face, because one of the other instructors insisted, “No, seriously. Apparently, it’s a real problem.”

“Yeah. I hear she’s made a slobbering mess of several townsmen already. It’s like they’ve lost all their wits.”

“That’s why they’ve resorted to sending in the knights to deal with her,” another added.

“Right...” I said.

Well, that certainly explained where the knight-slash-instructors had disappeared to. It was hard to deny that hunting down this witch was probably a bigger priority at present than training a bunch of cadets.

“If there’s really a woman out there beautiful enough to make you lose your mind, though...well, I’d sure like to meet her!” one of the instructors said.

“Who could resist?” another added.

“Anyway, they’re diverting a lot of manpower to this witch business right now. It’s been a real pain trying to deal with the staffing shortages.”

“You’ll probably be roped into the witch hunt too, Commander, once the cat’s out of the bag that you’re back in the country,” Gried said with a throaty laugh.

What he apparently didn’t realize was that the cat had been out of the bag already for quite a while now. The Knights’ Brigade would’ve known I was back as soon as Edward had returned to the castle. I was actually rostered to participate in a patrol soon with the fourth division, so I’d probably be doing some witch-hunting in the near future, actually.

An image of the slit-mouthed woman flashed in my mind, and I looked down at the sword in my hand.

“Witches bleed too, don’t they?” I said.

“And there it is... What do they call you again? The cold-blooded killer?”

“Nah, that’s not right. It’s ‘bear killer.’”

“I thought it was ‘carefully manufactured playboy’?”

The instructors ribbed me, bringing up both of the monikers I was likely to make good on soon.

In all likelihood, Lilia had passed them onto my fan club, and they’d somehow made their way to the training grounds. She seemed to be pretty friendly with my fan club, based on their doujinshi trading.

I glared at Gried.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I said.

“Yep,” he agreed without a moment’s hesitation.

When the adults around me were too busy enjoying the spectacle of Yoh stalking me and Robert following me around like a lost puppy, it didn’t inspire a lot of hope that they’d be of any help at all.

“Our training grounds are growing more and more prestigious by the day.”

“Even Robert’s earned himself a moniker. Apparently they’re calling him ‘the Red Wolf’ now.”

“They”? “They” who, exactly?

As far as I was aware, there was nothing red about Robert. Was it just a reference to how he moved at three times speed...?

I glanced over at Robert to see him running around with a completely exhausted-looking Yoh on his shoulders.

How in the world did it come to this? I wondered.

I couldn’t help but feel that he bore a much stronger resemblance to a dog than a wolf.

Anyway... A witch, huh?

The word called to mind the villain from Royal LOVERS 2: The Illusory Witch.

Like I said, aside from the saint, there were barely any fantasy elements in this world.

But that only applied to the first game.

The sequel, Royal LOVERS 2, had significantly more fantasy than the first game.

A “hero” made an appearance—and so did the hero’s enemy: the witch.

But the second game was set five years after the first. That meant it was four years away from now.

It was hard to imagine anything that was causing such an uproar right now would still be an issue in four years. The kingdom of Diagrantz might have been complacent, but the Knights’ Brigade would lose all respectability if they were complacent enough to let such an issue drag on for that long.

There was still a chance, however slim, that the current witch we were dealing with had nothing to do with the Illusory Witch from the second game, but...just how many witches were there out there?

It seemed a little far-fetched that there might be more than one witch when the only saint we were “blessed” with was a hell-raising, degenerate one. If any role were going to be recast, then personally, I felt like we ought to start with that one first.

For now, I filed the information I’d learned away and decided that I’d consult with said hell-raising, degenerate saint—who also happened to be the other reincarnator—about the whole situation.

Epilogue

The next day, I asked the knights on patrol with me if any of them knew about the witch. Turned out, they all did.

Apparently, several knights in the brigade had even encountered her themselves. And all of them who’d met her had this to say: “Trust me, she’s bewitchingly beautiful.”

But they couldn’t seem to remember anything about her other than that.

This had been causing some serious staffing shortages among the knights, since many of those who’d met her had ended up somehow losing their minds. Significant resources had been dedicated to tracking the witch down and apprehending her—not just for the good of the knights, but for the good of the kingdom. The knights had been ramping up security, taking extra precautions during patrols.

As part of those efforts, we were doing an additional round of patrolling tonight. Once our typical horseback patrol had ended, we left our horses at a designated stable and split up into groups of two or three to continue making the rounds on foot.

After a few rounds of rock-paper-scissors that had resulted in Robert and me forming a pair, we strolled through the town streets as dusk descended.

Just looking around the town, I could sense that it was quieter than normal. There were fewer women waving or greeting me too. It seemed that everyone was so afraid of the witch that they wouldn’t talk to their neighbors or even step outside.

“Have you met her?” I asked Robert as I walked alongside him. “The witch, I mean.”

He shook his head. “No, not yet.”

Robert looked inexplicably giddy, but he didn’t seem especially absent-minded or dazed, so...I’d kind of figured he hadn’t. Honestly, though, he performed better when he was out of it, so I guessed it wouldn’t be a big deal if he did run into her.

Just as I thought our conversation had fizzled out, Robert suddenly added, “But Frank’s seen her.”

“He has?”

I conjured his face in my mind. Frank was a former cadet who’d trained at the training grounds with us until about a year ago. He was a year older than us, and he was skilled enough at sword fighting that he’d made it to the final round of the swordsmanship tournament.

He’d graduated this March, and from what I’d heard, he’d officially joined the knights.

So, he caught sight of the witch during the course of his work, huh? I thought.

“Did he say anything about her?” I asked.

“The only thing he was clear on was that he didn’t remember much. Apparently, all that stuck with him was that she was a woman.”

“Huh...”

I racked my brains as we walked.

Frank had only just joined the knights, but he was no greenhorn. He’d faced more than his fair share of character-building challenges at the training grounds, after all. Even among the other knights, he would have been able to hold his own.

This witch must have been awfully formidable to have evaded his arrest.

Wait, don’t tell me... Surely this witch isn’t so beautiful that anyone who tries to arrest her loses the will to do it? I thought.

And wait, didn’t Frank have a fiancée...or a girlfriend, or something? It certainly didn’t bode well for his relationship that the sight of a beautiful woman had been all it took to make him lose his wits.

But...maybe it wasn’t a character flaw? Maybe she was just that beautiful?

Is that really how you want to play this, universe? Surely there’s a limit to how much weight you place on people’s looks?

I mean, Lilia and Edward were beautiful enough to make you momentarily speechless, but the sight of them wouldn’t turn you into a dazed buffoon. Just how beautiful did this witch have to be to one-up them like this?

“A preternatural beauty, huh? I’d like to see this woman for myself,” I muttered, not even thinking as I spoke.

Robert agreed vigorously.

“I agree, Commander! It’s our duty as knights to apprehend any blackguard who dares to disturb the peace, by any means necessary.”

That wasn’t really what I meant, but...whatever.

“Hmm?”

For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of something in my peripheral vision. I turned to look for it.

I squinted my eyes to look down an alleyway, but I couldn’t make out anything useful. The shadows had already started taking over.

“Did you see a flash of movement just now?” I asked Robert, just to be on the safe side.

“I...think I do sense someone...faintly,” he replied. It seemed he was probably picking up on the same thing I was.

I placed my hand on the hilt of the sword at my hip and began walking slowly down the alleyway.

“You go around the other way,” I instructed Robert.

“Yes, sir!”

With that, he slipped into the darkness and ran off, silencing his footsteps.

Well... Guess I’ll keep approaching from this end.

“Heeey... You all alone tonight, buddy?”

“Whoa, heeey...isn’t he a knight?”

“Ooh, yeeeah... He is a knight...”

As soon as I entered the alleyway, I heard voices. I turned around to see three men walking over to me.

They all seemed kind of out of it, like their eyes couldn’t focus. I could only assume that they were drunk.

It was still only early evening, but from the way they were acting, you’d have thought I’d caught them in the middle of an all-night bender.

“An’ he’s blond too...”

“Yeeeah...a blond knight...”

They were laughing stupidly as they approached, as if they found something about that amusing.

I sometimes came across drunkards during my nighttime patrols, but they usually looked sheepish and made a run for it whenever they saw my knight’s uniform. I guessed it was probably like encountering a cop during a night out on the town in modern Japan, so it wasn’t really surprising that they responded that way.

Were these guys so drunk that they’d lost the sense to know they should have been hightailing it out of here? They looked pretty scruffy, though...so maybe they were just some hooligans itching for a reason—any reason at all—to duke it out with a knight?

Either way, the witch was my priority right now; I didn’t have time to waste on drunk hooligans.

Just as I was turning around, one of the men reached out to grab me.

“Hey! Don’t ignore— Owowow?!”

“Get your filthy hands off of Commander.”

A split second before I could shake the thug off of me, Robert appeared out of nowhere and twisted his arm.

Wait, why is he here? Didn’t I tell him to run around to the other side so we could intercept them? I thought. I guess that enthusiastic “Yes, sir!” earlier didn’t actually mean anything...

Having his arm grabbed forcefully by a man much taller—and much brawnier—than him seemed to sober the scrawny hoodlum up immediately. His face went pale as a ghost’s.

There he goes again, rushing in like a bull at a gate...

“Remember what I always tell you, Robert? Wait until your opponent makes the first move.”

“Yes, sir. I apologize.”

It would have been a commendable apology, if not for the fact that he clearly didn’t mean it. Robert kept his eye on the hoodlum as he released him.

Honestly, why did he have to be so hotheaded sometimes?

The man Robert had just released took several steps back, glaring at us.

“That hurt! What’s your problem?!”

“Sorry ’bout that. My guard dog can go a little overboard sometimes,” I said.

“I’ve had enough of your bullshit!” one of the hooligan’s buddies yelled, raising his hand and preparing to strike.

But instead of aiming at Robert, who’d actually laid a hand on one of them, the hoodlum went for the weaker-looking target: me.

Coward.

I caught his fist in my palm and looked at Robert.

“See? You want to wait for them to strike first, so you can claim that they were obstructing your official duties as a knight. If you strike first, you’ll have a bureaucratic nightmare on your hands later.”

“Huh?”

“I... I’m sorry,” Robert said.

“Huh?”

The hoodlum kept looking back and forth between his stalled fist and my face, his eyes wide in astonishment. But I wasn’t even paying any attention to him as my lips twisted into a smirk.

“But who cares? Let’s finish these punks and get back to our witch hunt.”

“Yes, sir!”

◇◇◇

It barely took us a few seconds to deal with the hoodlums and get back on track, but no matter how much we searched, we couldn’t even catch a trace of the strange presence we’d picked up on earlier.

I crossed my arms, glaring at Robert.

“If you hadn’t been such a hothead back there, maybe she wouldn’t have gotten away,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he replied, hanging his head dejectedly.

As I looked down at the whorl of his auburn hair, I let out a big sigh.

“What’s more important to you? Me, or finding the witch?” I asked.

“You, Commander!” he answered without a moment’s hesitation.

Okay. That’s on me for being dumb enough to ask that, I thought, deciding to just drop it. He was incorrigible.

But since we hadn’t managed to pick up on the witch’s scent again, I had a feeling that any more witch-hunting we did today would probably be for nothing.

I could see now why they called her the Illusory Witch. Her vanishing act was so thorough, it was enough to make you wonder if you’d only just imagined her.

Side Stories: The Victims of Elizabeth Burton Support Group V

The Day She Sheathes Her Sword for Me —Edward—

The plan was for the two of us—Lizzie and me—to go undercover together at the masquerade ball.

I’d gotten her to agree to this by using the letter that I’d practically seized from Christopher. He’d also handed over another letter, which I’d used to secure assurances from Lady Lilia that she wouldn’t interfere.

It seemed only proper that I should be afforded these accommodations, considering that it was thanks to me that they were here in the West at all.

But how that letter weighed on me...

Once we got back home, I would be sure to interrogate Frederic about its contents at the earliest opportunity.

Just who was this man that Lizzie had wanted to marry when she had been a child?

Based on what the letter had said, he didn’t seem to be Robert...but who else was there? Who, other than a family member, would she have held such affection for?

And what had Frederic been thinking, giving her his blessing to be with any special someone she might find in the West?

That was absolutely...yes, absolutely out of the question.

When I saw her in the antechamber, all dressed up in her masquerade ball attire, I felt my heartbeat quicken again. I simply couldn’t help myself.

She wasn’t supposed to wear her hair in a different style to her usual one. That was breaking the rules.

But perhaps what really galled me was that I’d been so looking forward to seeing her in a dress—not another suit.

Why, I’d even tailor-made one for her.

I’d taken care to choose a design that would de-emphasize her broad shoulders, creating a slender, elegant silhouette. I’d also paid special attention to the fabric colors, incorporating my hair and eye colors into a flattering black base that I knew would look stunning on her.

Now that I was wearing it myself, however, I could see several areas that would benefit from improvement. I wanted to make some amendments before getting her to wear it on the next occasion.

The slit in the dress’s skirt, for example, was a little too revealing. I’d have to make sure that she wouldn’t be showing quite this much skin.

“Well? What do you think?”

“You look beautiful, Your Highness.”

A pause.

“But do I look cute?”

“Positively adorable.”

I knew she was just telling me whatever she thought I wanted to hear. But I was asking her these questions in earnest.

As I switched out her pocket square, I stole a glance at her face.

She looked so striking as she fixed her ascot with that serious expression that I couldn’t help but stare.

She’d told me that everything with Princess Diana had been settled now...but it certainly didn’t seem that way to me. There was a fire in the princess’s eyes now whenever she looked at Lizzie—a fire that hadn’t been there before.

What was more, Lizzie seemed to be readily encouraging Princess Marie’s advances. The Honorable Duke’s entire family was sure to be horrified if they knew what an outrageous show she was making of being such an incorrigible playboy.

I took my eyes off of her for one moment, and this was what had happened.

My grip on the situation was really starting to feel tenuous now. Just how much competition did she intend to add to the pool?

And compared to her, I...

“Hey, Lizzie...? Are you disappointed?” I asked her.

She just blinked in response.

My gaze dropped down to the ascot in her hands and clarified, “I failed to seduce Princess Diana.”

“I would never be disappointed in you over something like that,” she replied uncomfortably, with a wry smile.

Her tone said it all: She really wasn’t disappointed. I’d hoped that asking the question might have brought me reassurance, but instead, my heart just sank. She might as well have said that she’d never had any hope in me in the first place.

She was the one who had asked me to seduce the princess...but perhaps she had never thought it to be in the realm of my capabilities.

Was it because she thought I had nothing to offer?

“If your royal good looks couldn’t sway her, I doubt anyone could have,” she reassured me.

“And yet, you were able to seduce Princess Marie, weren’t you?”

I pulled her ascot tight as I spoke.

I’d managed to get closer to her—if only a little—but it felt like the distance between us was widening now.

We went out together into town all the time and spoke frequently... We’d even shared a stolen kiss, and we’d been spending all of our time—morning until night—under one roof together.

And yet, she refused to look my way... What else could I possibly do?

“I always thought I had a certain degree of manly charm, but I suppose I was mistaken.”

“Your Highness? Uh—”

“Now it feels like you’ve bested me.”

When she tapped me on the shoulder, I suddenly realized what I’d been doing. Without even noticing, I’d been pulling her ascot tighter and tighter.

I loosened the ascot, which had grown much too constricting, and started tying it again.

“Rest assured, Your Highness: You’re plenty charming.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” she said, wearing a fake smile and clearly just flattering me.

I couldn’t help but challenge her, like a petulant child.

“Charming how, then?” I asked.

Oh, listen to yourself! I thought. I didn’t really want to go down this rabbit hole with her.

I wished I could have kept my cool, acting like nothing bothered me. I just wanted to impress her...even if only a little...and now I was ruining any chance of that.

Why do I always seem to lose my composure when I’m with her? I thought bitterly.

But I already knew the answer.

◇◇◇

“Are you both rea— Oh! Goodness!” Princess Diana cried as soon as she entered the room.

Immediately, Lizzie took a step back, distancing herself from me.

Princess Diana wore a spellbound expression on her face as she looked at us...but there was something that didn’t seem quite right about it.

For some reason, it seemed to be directed at the both of us.

“My goodness, oh me, oh my... You look positively splendid!”

Her voice trembled as she spoke. She even looked a little misty-eyed.

It was a perfectly understandable response. When you beheld such a perfect couple in such painstakingly coordinated attire, it was hard to imagine what else could be said but that.

“Thank you,” I replied with a smile.

Lizzie, for her part, gave the princess a strange smile that suggested she was only here in body. Her mind seemed to be somewhere far, far away.

Is it really such an impossible request to ask that you only look at me when I’m here with you, Lizzie? I wondered.

◇◇◇

With Lizzie as my escort, I infiltrated the masquerade ball.

Even just walking arm in arm like this with her made my heart beat so fast, I thought it might jump out of my chest.

She’d been avoiding me ever since graduation, and now that I wasn’t at the academy any longer, there were few chances for us to cross paths. And yet now, almost out of nowhere, we had begun spending morning until night together.

Now, in the guise of her older brother, she called me by name and spoke to me like we were close friends.

And tonight, we were attending a ball as a couple.

To put it plainly: I was over the moon.

I found myself wishing, yet again, that we’d never have to go home.

If only we could run off together somewhere, just the two of us. If only these days would never end, I thought. What if she let me whisk her away...? What if I just did it anyway?

And yet, the dream that I was living with her in that moment far surpassed any pipe dreams I could entertain.

Suddenly, I felt her steel blue eyes on me.

I panicked, thinking that I’d been caught staring at her. But when I saw her cock her head as she looked at me, somewhat confused, I realized that it was about something else.

“Prince Ed— I mean, Princess? Are you perhaps wearing a different perfume tonight?” she asked me.

“Huh?”

Instinctively, I looked up at her.

She was close enough to be able to smell my perfume—that part, in and of itself, was hardly surprising. And she was right, of course; I was wearing a different perfume. It was hardly proper form for a lady to show up to a masquerade ball in her usual scent.

What was surprising was that she knew it wasn’t my usual scent.

“You noticed?”

“I did. It smells sweeter than your usual brand.”

“Oh...”

I must be losing my mind, I thought. It shouldn’t make me this overjoyed for her to show interest like this.

I adjusted my mask, trying to hide the slack-jawed expression that was surely playing across my face, and looked down at the floor.

I found myself wishing, even more desperately, that we would never have to go home.

If only it could always be like this... If only you would think of nothing and no one but me.

“Which do you prefer? This, or my usual scent?” I asked, pulling myself closer to her and looking up at her face.

“Huh?”

“Answer me. Which one do you prefer?”

I tightened my grip around her arm and pressed even closer.

Her eyes were darting around, as if she were unsure of what to say.

She always showed a tenderness to women that went far beyond what was necessary. Even though I was only dressed as a woman, I’d assumed that she’d show me that same tenderness.

And even under normal circumstances, when she simply brushed me off, there was always a trace of sincerity.

In which case...

Surely this time, she would take me seriously. Surely this time, she would answer me in earnest.

There was a question to ask her that had been on my mind this whole time. This was the moment to seize my chance.

“I just remembered, Lizzie... Have you given that conversation we had any further thought?”

“Pardon?” she replied, cocking her head.

She didn’t seem to have any inkling as to what I was referring to.

After managing to quell my noisy heart into submission, I clarified, “What...do you think of me?”

Now that I’d asked the question, there was no taking it back.

I’d passed the point of no return.

It was plain as day, after all, what I meant by that. I might as well have just told her I was in love with her.

The woman in front of me just kept blinking, saying nothing in response.

I was so afraid to find out how she would answer me that I started clenching the fabric of my dress in my fist. I felt like my heart might burst in my chest at any moment.

Her silence lasted only a moment, but it felt like an eternity.

Whatever it was that she might say...I wanted to know how she felt about me right now.

But...things didn’t go as I’d planned.

Suddenly, she closed the distance between us. Instinctively, I took several steps backwards, away from her, but I quickly found myself backing up into a wall. Then I heard her fist hit the wall behind me with a bang.

We were already so close that our noses were almost touching, but she just moved her face even closer to mine.

At this distance, my field of vision and my thoughts were completely dominated by her. In an instant, it felt like my mind went completely blank.

“What about you, Your Highness?”

“Huh?”

“What do you think of me?”

She was looking into my eyes, smirking. There was a hint of something malicious in her expression that sent my heart aflutter again.

Her steel blue eyes seemed to see right through me as they bore into mine, and I found myself at a complete loss for words.

How unfair to demand that a woman make the first move, her gaze seemed to say. I felt my heart clench painfully at the rebuke.

Even her typical devil-may-care smile sent my head spinning. Seeing it up close like this, I felt like it might just be the end of me.

I was at risk of confessing everything—right there and then.

What if I told her everything that I felt for her...and wrapped my arms around her in an embrace? I wondered. What if I touched those lips—so much softer than they looked—with mine again?

Would she...return my feelings?

“I... I...” I began. Despite my fears, it was as if something were compelling to speak.

But just then—

“Eric!” called a voice.

I turned around to see Princess Marie running over to us. She might have been wearing a mask, but she was instantly recognizable.

Princess Marie’s arrival quickly stole Lizzie’s attention. To some extent, that was a relief...but watching her talk to Princess Marie with that delighted smile on her face perturbed me.

It was clear even to an outside observer like me that she adored Princess Marie.

Why do you have to be so sweet to her? I thought.

It wasn’t just Princess Marie, though. Lizzie doted on Lady Lilia and Christopher too.

I knew it... That’s her type, isn’t it? Someone cute.

“And you! You can’t let yourself be fooled by this womanizer!” Princess Marie said, suddenly addressing me and breaking me out of my reverie. “I know he’s...well...easy on the eyes, I suppose...but still! You have no idea how many girls he’s tried to make a move on!”

Oh, believe me. I’m aware of just how many women’s hearts she’s stolen. In fact, I have a much clearer picture of that than you ever will, Princess Marie, I thought.

I also knew just how little her tender gestures meant—regardless of who they were directed at.

Princess Marie then continued her tirade, going on about how I ought to give up on Lizzie and “just get rid” of her.

If only it were so easy... I wouldn’t have to suffer like this, if only I could.

But the heart wants what it wants. Even if my love was hopeless, there was nothing to be done about it.

I stole a glance up at Lizzie’s face. She was grinning—clearly enjoying the spectacle of watching me stay silent, trying not to ruin my cover by speaking.

You’re enjoying this far too much, Lizzie...

In the end, she even left Princess Marie and me alone together. She’d really been pushing her luck lately with the level of disrespect she’d been showing me.

But, in all fairness...I supposed I’d been letting her get away with that, in hopes that we’d been growing closer.

Miraculously, just as soon as Lizzie had left me alone with Princess Marie, a nobleman approached me.

He had a flashy manner of dress, but he acted like a gentleman.

When I looked at his attire a bit more closely, I saw he was wearing a suit that was outdated by just one season. It was obvious at a glance that he wasn’t flush with money.

As soon as I took a sip of the drink he’d offered me, I realized the predicament I was in.

Oh... So, this must be the kidnapper we’re after.

◇◇◇

“Found ourselves a reeeal gem, huh?”

“Don’t even think about laying a hand on her—not unless you wanna get caught.”

“Hey, come on. I’ll bet you even the boss has a taste sometimes.”

As soon as I’d pretended to fall into a deep slumber, knocked out by whatever they’d spiked my drink with, I found myself being carried to a little room in the corner of the ballroom.

I could hear a couple of men speaking in low tones.

One of them cackled, putting his hands all over me.

I knew it—I really did make the slit in the dress’s skirt too revealing.

“Don’t remember ever seeing a face like hers at the soirees. Think she’s from some noble family in the sticks?”

“Must be, but by God... That’s a damn pretty face if ever I saw one.”

“Sure is... A beauty like that takes your breath away.”

I could feel the warmth of the man’s foul breath on my face as he spoke.

See, Lizzie? Even these ill-mannered louts know a pretty face when they see one, I thought as I pretended to be knocked out from the sleeping medicine. So many people want me, but I can’t even get the one woman I love to look my way. Why won’t you open your eyes, Lizzie?

Just then, I heard a loud crash.

It was the sound of glass shattering.

The man who had been hovering just inches away suddenly scurried away.

I opened my eyes into a narrow squint to check on the situation. It was then that I saw that the man who had been hovering just above me earlier—from the looks of it, the nobleman who’d offered me a drink back in the ballroom—had taken his mask off. I made sure to burn his face into my memory.

It didn’t take much imagination to figure out what he’d been planning to do.

I’d prepared myself for something like this, and I wasn’t going to let myself be shaken by the insinuation...but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth.

The two men in the room with me fled. Before the door had slammed shut, I leaped up and ran towards the window, flinging it open.

Outside of the window, several stories below, I saw exactly the person I expected to see standing there waiting for me.

“Lizzie!” I yelled.

She must have noticed the earring that I’d purposely dropped as the men had been carrying me away. She’d thrown something at the window in the adjacent room to distract the kidnappers.

Our eyes met, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was going to be okay now.

I stepped up onto the windowsill and leaned out of the open window. It seemed to be about as high off of the ground as my study window, which Lizzie routinely jumped from as she held me in her arms.

Without hesitating, I jumped from the window and flailed in the air.

“Your Highness!”

In the next moments, she was wrapping her arms around me.

The impact of the fall was shocking—I felt it much more than I’d expected to. It was strange... Usually, when I jumped out of the window with Lizzie, it didn’t feel like there was much of an impact at all when we landed.

To my surprise, I peered up at her to see a look of shock on her face too. I’d never seen her wear an expression like that before.

I just stared into her wide eyes, without even thinking, until she broke the silence.

“I’m begging you, please don’t jump like that without a safety tether!” she said, her anger palpable.

“Huh?”

I blinked in surprise.

I’d never heard her raise her voice like that before.

“But you’re always jumping from windows, aren’t you?”

“Please, Your Highness. Just because I do something doesn’t mean you should.”

She sighed deeply. Then, still holding me in her arms, she slumped down to the ground in a squat.

Does this mean...what I think it means? I wondered. Was she worried about me?

The thought made my heart skip a beat.

Then she stood up, glaring at me with a frustrated look on her face, and said, “If any harm were to come to you, they’d come for my head.”

“That’s all you care about?” I blurted out.

She glared at me again.

Hey, Lizzie...

Is it because I’m the crown prince that you were worried about me? Or...could there also be something a little more than that?

That bittersweet thought lasted only a moment before she reached down and retrieved the knife I had holstered in my garter belt, quickly replaced by the mortifying fear that she might’ve caught a glimpse at my undergarments.

She wasted no time in putting a stop to one of the kidnappers—who had followed me outside—and binding him mercilessly.

It was as if our moment of connection had never even happened.

She picked the kidnapper up with one hand and lifted him into the air as he groaned. “Mm... I don’t quite have Instructor Gried’s talent for this,” she muttered, as if talking to herself.

Gried, the man she was referring to, had retired from active duty on the Knights’ Brigade, but he was said to be their best interrogator.

“For torture, I mean,” she clarified.

There wasn’t a single trace of warmth in her voice. Instead of the trained aristocratic one that she usually wore, she had an icy glint in her eyes that sent shivers down my spine.

I knew I shouldn’t have been surprised by this side of her. She was a knight, after all, so this was likely just part of her routine.

Not to mention, I had enlisted her to be my bodyguard specifically because I knew just how capable she was.

But, at the same time...she’d only just turned eighteen. She was still just a girl, and I didn’t want her to do anything that would dirty her hands.

Surely the knights of Diagrantz were all reasonably self-respecting men. And, assuming that they were upstanding adults, I felt confident that they would share my sentiments on this.

There was also the matter of the conversation I’d had with her father and her older brother. They’d made an earnest plea that I protect her—hence the whole reason I was here at all.

Even if it was only to soothe my own ego...I couldn’t bear to stand idly by and watch as she did something she could never take back.

As her protector, I had a duty to stop her. That was my sincere conviction.

“Lizzie,” I said, coming up behind her.

As I wrapped her in an embrace, I put a hand over her mouth to silence her.

“Mmf!”

I knew that she could easily remove my hand and sidestep me if she really wanted to. But she didn’t make any attempt to escape my embrace, nor did she shake herself free of the hand over her mouth. And for that, I was relieved.

I chose my next words carefully, trying to find the ones that would be most likely to convince her. As much as it pained me to admit this to myself, I knew that the words she was most likely to take to heart right now weren’t my own.

“Let me take it from here.”

“Mmgh...”

“I’m sure that’s what your brother would say, if he were here right now.”

As soon as I mentioned Frederic, all of the strength seemed to leave her body. And in an instant, the warmth seemed to return—as if blood had started flowing through her veins again.

I knew it...

I’m still nowhere near his level, am I?

A wry smile crossed her face as she put both of her hands up weakly in a show of surrender.

Once I was sure that she meant it, I let her go.

Then she turned around and shrugged, as if to say, It’s all right.

That was all it took for the tension I’d been holding in my shoulders to dissipate.

It seemed my attempt at persuasion had been a success.

As I watched her hand the kidnapper over to the guards, I wondered, Will the day ever come when I don’t need to mention her brother’s name? Might she one day sheathe her sword for my sake and my sake alone?

If she wouldn’t even sheathe her sword for me...then marrying her would forever remain a dream, and nothing more.

I was struck, yet again, by the outrageous odds I was up against. I couldn’t have picked a more impossible woman to have fallen for if I’d tried.

I’ll Take Responsibility —Richard—

There was nothing I hated more than a complicated mess.

I hated my mother, too, for getting roped into one. She watched her life fall apart because of it.

And I hated the man who’d involved her in it, who sat on his throne in willful ignorance, as if he had no idea how much damage he’d caused.

I came to hate the whole damn thing, all of it...and that was why I’d washed my hands of it.

But it wasn’t until it was all over that I’d realized who was to carry the burden I’d shed: my little sister, four years my junior.

◇◇◇

When our princess declared that there was a man she wanted to marry, the whole palace fell into an uproar.

It was the timing that was the issue; she’d chosen to announce this just as the king had suggested a fiancé for her.

When she was asked who it was that she’d fallen for, she named a foreign nobleman. He was the son of a duke, so there wasn’t any issue as far as his standing was concerned...but it didn’t exactly align with the king’s goal of strengthening relationships with the influential noble families of Normandius.

Of course, the king had the final say in the end. He didn’t need the princess’s permission.

But the princess had been diligently and faithfully upholding her duties as the future queen this entire time, and it no doubt would have weighed on him—and everyone involved in the royal family’s business—if he didn’t respect the first and only objection that she had raised.

After all the trust she’d earned, all of the charisma and brilliance that she’d honed, and, more than anything, all of the gentility that she’d cultivated, he must have balked at the prospect of treating her as mere political fodder.

The initial tone he’d struck was one of skepticism. “Who is this foreign scoundrel that’s seduced my daughter? Bring him here at once, and let me see him for myself,” he’d said.

But as it turned out, the “foreign scoundrel” was in fact a young man from an influential noble family in Diagrantz, a neighboring country with which our kingdom shared good relations. The situation required a delicate, diplomatic touch.

Just as the senate was racking their brains over how best to proceed, they received a request from the Diagrantz royal family to make a diplomatic visit to our kingdom. In all likelihood, they were just as surprised by the sudden proposal as we were, and had proposed the visit in order to ascertain our intentions.

The man who accompanied the crown prince of Diagrantz on his visit was a far more superficial and shallow man than I’d expected.

Any man bold enough to make a pass at our princess within minutes of meeting her must have been quite the womanizer...but he was far worse than I could have even imagined.

Not only did he bring his favorite lady friend along on the trip, but he wasted no time staking his claim on our princess right in front of her. Maybe he was used to pulling the wool over the eyes of all of the blissfully ignorant, naive young women that fawned over him, but to an outside observer, he was nothing more than a shallow flirt—a philanderer with nothing of substance to offer.

There was no chance in Hell that I would ever let our princess marry a man like that.

“The future Honorable Duke,” they called him.

Give me a break, I thought.

So, I thought I’d give him a little scare. A snot-nosed nobleman’s son like him probably wouldn’t have a clue what to do if someone lit a fire under his feet.

I’ll show you what happens when you mess with the royal family, I thought.

No doubt it would be just the thing needed to make him turn tail and run. This way, even the king could be satisfied by how things had turned out.

Having made up my mind, I sneaked into his bedroom late one night.

The minute I stepped onto his bed, his eyes flew open and locked onto mine.

For a split second, my mind went blank.

He’s looking me in the eyes? I thought. No, that can’t be right...

I took a lot of pride in my skills at moving stealthily. Even a professional would have struggled to detect me, much less some random nobleman’s son.

Maybe...he just opened his eyes and met my gaze by coincidence? I thought. But he was looking at me too intently for that to be true.

Then, he started rousing from his sleepy state and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Well, this is a first. Never had a guy try to climb in bed with me before,” he said.

He sounded as if he wasn’t taking this seriously, but it was clear that he was on high alert. He was paying attention to my every move, not dropping his guard for a moment.

And yet, even though he was face-to-face with a stranger who’d just sneaked into his bedroom, he didn’t seem the least bit panicked.

In my gut, I knew: This man was no ordinary nobleman’s son.

He was on the same level as me.

Careful not to take my eyes off him, I climbed off the bed and put some distance between us.

“Who are you?” I asked, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.

He smirked, apparently pleased by my wariness. I could tell that he thought I was completely beneath him.

“No ordinary nobleman would be able to sense my presence. Who are you?” I repeated.

“I’m Frederic, the eldest son of Duke Burton. Did you sneak in here without anyone seeing you?”

“Why are you impersonating the future Honorable Duke?” I pressed.

There was no way that the actual son of a duke would be able to detect me sneaking into his room, and no way that he would be so calm in the face of the threat I presented.

This couldn’t be explained by a gutsy nature; whoever I was dealing with, he was clearly experienced.

It wasn’t just a matter of being unfazed by my intrusion. No...the carefree ease with which he responded to me told me that was completely confident in his ability to handle me on his own.

Whoever he was, he wasn’t the future duke. Of that much, I was certain.

In all likelihood, he was a body double who’d been hired by the duke’s family. That was the only explanation that made any sense here.

It was a reasonable precaution to take, actually. The duke’s son had been summoned here to Normandius for a sudden—not to mention, one-sided—marriage proposal, after all.

When I stopped to consider the position the duke’s family was in, it was obvious they wouldn’t send out their real son until they were sure of what they were dealing with. They had no obligation to do so.

“I think I’m the one who ought to be asking questions here,” he said, parrying my question with one of his own. “I’m guessing from your uniform that you’re one of the princess’s guards, right? So what are you doing here acting like an assassin?”

Again, his tone was lighthearted, as if he wasn’t taking this seriously.

I’d assumed that he would have readily identified me as a member of the royal family, considering that I’d been there in the throne room when he’d met us all, but apparently, the only thing that had registered with him was my Royal Guard uniform.

What a lout, I thought. Women really are the only thing on his mind, aren’t they?

“I didn’t come here to kill you,” I said.

“You know, this could blow up into a diplomatic crisis if you’re here on your princess’s orders.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m here of my own accord. I’ve sworn my loyalty to the princess, see. So I just wanted to see who this guy was that she’s supposed to marry,” I said, mirroring his mocking tone, and shrugged my shoulders.

I was the one who was supposed to be asking the questions and putting him on the defensive, not the other way around. It irritated me that he was being so cavalier about this.

He blinked repeatedly. Then his mouth twisted into a smirk, as if he’d just realized something.

I couldn’t put my finger on why, exactly, but I knew that I wasn’t going to like whatever followed.

“You’re in love with Princess Diana, aren’t you?”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I was so stunned by this outrageous accusation that I completely dropped my cool act and blurted, “What?!”

His smirk widened and he crossed his arms, nodding to himself like he had me all figured out now.

“You don’t have to hide it. Not to toot my own horn here, but I’m pretty perceptive when it comes to stuff like this.”

“Wait! You’ve got this all wrong!”

I waved my hand in denial, but he didn’t seem to be listening at all.

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how he’d managed to twist my words enough to come to a conclusion like that. What the hell was going on here?

What kind of an older brother harbored romantic feelings for their birth sister?

“Hey, relax. I don’t want anything with Princess Diana. I’m actually here to dissolve the engagement amicably,” he said.

At this, I felt my shoulders twitch.

I’d have to correct this misunderstanding later, but I was relieved to hear that he planned to turn down the princess’s proposal.

I still couldn’t get a good read on this clown, but one thing was making itself clear: The duke’s family obviously wasn’t all that enthused about this engagement either, considering they’d gone so far as to dispatch a body double.

“Really...?” I asked.

“Really,” he replied with a sketchy smile.

Then he reached out, offering his hand.

“I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship, uh...?” he said, fishing for my name.

“Richard,” I said, taking his hand and shaking it.

The flesh of his palm was thick and hard. It was unmistakably the hand of a knight—

No...a fighter.

◇◇◇

The next day, I headed towards the guest villa, trying to stifle a yawn.

I knew that I’d have to make my way over first thing in the morning to give the crown prince of Diagrantz a tour, but I’d ended up pulling an unplanned all-nighter, so I was still pretty exhausted.

As soon as I arrived outside of the guest villa, I ran into Frederic (or “Eric,” as he’d introduced himself), the clown who’d stolen our princess’s heart.

He was wearing casual clothes—not casual enough to be pajamas, but close—that made it look like he was just about to do some exercise.

The sun hadn’t even come up yet. What is he doing out here this early? I wondered, feeling my brow knit involuntarily.

When he noticed me approaching, he raised a hand to give me a carefree wave hello. Everything he did just screamed “slippery bastard.”

“Hey. Morning,” he said.

“Huh? Are you going out for a walk?”

“Thought I’d go for a run, actually.”

He stretched as he spoke, loosening up his muscles.

It was hard to tell if he was being serious, but it did look like he was preparing for a run.

It might have been morning, but it was still early enough to be dark out. I couldn’t just let some random, unidentified guy who was definitely not who he was claiming to be run around the castle unsupervised at this hour.

I mean, what kind of noble went running this early anyway? No noble I knew.

“Okay, come on. You’re obviously not the future Honorable Duke,” I said.

“What makes you say that?”

“No nobleman would ever wake up this early, much less for a run. And especially not without a bodyguard.”

“I could say the same for you, you know,” Eric replied, cocking his head in a show of confusion.

Most knights who were assigned to protect the royal family hailed from noble families, but we were here in our capacity as knights. It was hardly unusual for us to be on the move this early in the morning.

To be fair, though, even knights weren’t typically given free rein to act alone... But within the confines of the royal palace walls, I was given a special pass, thanks to the unusual circumstances of my birth.

Not that I needed to explain any of that to him.

So, instead, I just shrugged and averted my gaze.

“Well... I’ve got my reasons,” I said. “Don’t lump me in with you.”

“Sure,” he said, sounding not particularly interested in what these reasons were.

He started doing some little jumps in place. Then he did some wrist and ankle stretches.

“Well, see ya ’round.”

“Huh?”

In an instant, he was gone.

I turned around to see him already in the distance, leaving me far behind. It would have been absurd to call that “running.” The man was sprinting.

There was no mistaking it: He was trying to shake me loose.

That could mean only one thing... He wasn’t just going for a casual run. He was up to something.

“Hey! Wait!” I yelled, running after him.

I ramped up to almost my full speed until I was finally running alongside him.

But he didn’t slow down at all. I fought as hard as I could to maintain my pace, because I knew that the moment I slowed down even a little bit, I would lose him.

Eric turned his head to look at me and broke into a smile. It was infuriating how calm and collected he was acting.

But from the looks of it, he wasn’t just acting...this really was a breeze for him.

His breath was perfectly measured, and even when he was looking over at me as he ran, he was able to keep running at his usual pace. It was written all over his face just how relaxed he was.

You can’t be serious... How can this guy not even be breaking a sweat?

“What? You wanna join me on my run?”

“No!”

“Aren’t you gonna wear yourself out at this pace, though?”

“Shut up!” I shot back.

In spite of the “concern” he showed, Eric didn’t show any sign of slowing his pace for me.

Is this guy even human? I wondered.

I’d dedicated my life to being a knight and doing whatever it took to protect my sisters, and I’d worked hard to get to where I was now. I wasn’t saying my training was excruciating, per se, but it had been pretty grueling.

So, how was I falling so far behind?

My breathing was labored, and my form was rapidly deteriorating.

Hoping to at least get him to slow his pace a little, I spoke up and said, “That reminds me. I didn’t get the chance yesterday...to correct your misunderstanding!”

“My misunderstanding?”

“Listen...I’m not in love...with the princess or anything...okay?!”

“Oh, right. Sure.”

“Seriously, listen to me!” I yelled.

“I’m listening,” he replied, but it was obvious that he was just letting everything go in one ear and out the other.

“Y...You...!”

I stopped running, bending over and placing my hands on my knees as I gasped.

I was at my limit now. I’d been pretty much sprinting this whole time, so honestly, it was kind of a miracle that I’d held out for this long.

Once I’d given up and plopped down onto the ground, Eric finally turned around, still running in place.

For God’s sake, just stop already! I thought. How can you still have the energy to run?!

“What’s wrong with you?! How can you...go that fast...and not be out of breath?!”

“Hey, the world’s a big place, right? Plenty of room for a nobleman with an interest in fitness.”

“That’s...putting it pretty mildly!”

The desperation in my voice must have come through, because Eric finally stopped running in place. He shrugged his shoulders, giving me a condescending look.

“And plenty of room for a guard who’s got a thing for his boss,” he said. “Nothing wrong with either of those, if you ask me.”

“I told you...I’m not in love with her!”

I’d corrected him on this twice now, but he still insisted on misunderstanding.

It wasn’t like noble or royal families married for love, anyway. All of this nonsense about love and romance was just pointless drivel.

Letting yourself be a slave to your emotions was a great way to find yourself in a complicated mess of your own making. It’d break you, and it’d break whoever else you roped into your drama. Nobles knew that romance was just another way to shoot yourself in the foot. Pretty sure that was why they made a point not to get tangled up in it in the first place.

“Anyway, if you’re her guard, then surely you know something, right?”

“What do you mean, ‘know something’?”

“Like, did she say anything about why she wants to marry me?”

At this, my eyes went wide. Then I quickly averted my gaze.

I was surprised by how much this touched a nerve for me.

If she really did regard me as her trusted servant...then surely she would have consulted me about this? And if she really relied on me as her older brother...then surely she would have confided in me? I thought.

But what this just went to show was...I was neither of those things to her.

I was just an idiot who couldn’t fill either of those roles.

“How the hell would I know?”

“Uh, ’cause you’re in love with her?”

“Seriously, do you ever listen?”

He looked at me with a strange, disquieting warmth in his eyes.

Okay, now you’re just pissing me off. What’s that pitying look for?

Feeling my irritation get the best of me, I lashed out like a sulky child.

“And why is it that you don’t want to marry her? Is our princess not good enough for you?”

“Well, she’s a lovely lady, don’t get me wrong,” he said, twisting his mouth into a smirk. Then he had the audacity to wink at me.

He was clearly just doing this to mess with me.

“But I’m not really a one-woman kind of guy, if you catch my drift. So, I’m not sure I’m the right guy for Her Highness.”

◇◇◇

Just as I was about to cut across the garden near the guest villa, I caught sight of an unusual new participant joining in on the knights’ training drills.

I walked over, hoping to find out what the hell was going on. I heard a snippet of something so outrageous, I couldn’t even believe my ears.

“How long are you gonna sit there kissing the ground, maggots?! You some kind of perverts or something?! You got a fetish for inanimate objects?! Huh?!”

“Sir, no, sir!”

“I can’t heeeear youuuu!”

“SIR! NO! SIR!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell is going on here?” I interrupted.

Seriously, what in the world is the matter with you?!

“What does it look like? Training, obviously,” Eric answered nonchalantly.

“Training?!”

Once I pressed him for details, he told me that he’d barged in on the knights’ training session because he wanted to “get his blood pumping.” Apparently, one thing had led to another, and after he’d taken down each unit all by himself, they’d begged him to give them lessons.

What the hell? How did any of that even happen?

I was deeply suspicious of everything Eric was doing.

I also took issue with the language he was using, but he assured me that it was the standard among the knights of Diagrantz.

Yeah, right. No chivalric order would ever put up with this, I thought.

The more I heard, the more my brow furrowed.

Finally, all I could do was put my head in my hands and sigh.

“You’ve completely given up all pretenses now, haven’t you?” I said.

“What pretenses?”

“Oh, don’t give me that! All of them! First, you ask to train with the knights, then you take out the entire squad, and now you’re hurling outrageous insults at them! It’s absurd no matter how you spin it! There isn’t a nobleman in the world who would ever behave like this!”

“Uh, yeah there is. He’s standing right here.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

It wasn’t what I meant—at all.

“My honor is reserved exclusively for the ladies,” Eric added.

“Good grief, listen to you! Again, no Honorable Duke would ever say that!”

“S-Sir Richard?” one of the knights interjected. “It’s all right, really. We specifically asked him not to go easy on us.”

“I really can’t believe how strong you are, though,” another said.

“You must be a member of the Royal Guard if you’re here escorting the crown prince, right?”

What’s with that weird sparkle in their eyes? I wondered. Why do they look so...invigorated?

The other day, when I’d met the saint from Diagrantz, it had been like my mind had gone completely blank. Afterwards, I’d forgotten everything that had happened. Maybe the knights were experiencing something similar to that now?

They might have even been drugged, I thought.

As the knights kept inching towards Eric and badgering him with their questions, I noticed a trace of hesitation as his eyes darted about. Then he started laughing, reverting to his usual clownish persona. But behind his frivolous, carefree expression...I swore I could see a hint of a shadow.

“It’s actually just a one-off gig,” he said.

“What?”

“I have to inherit my father’s title, so I can’t become a knight on any permanent basis. It’s just a short stint.”

It seemed like the other knights were picking up on the dissonance too.

The morale suddenly plummeted, as if everyone realized that a line had been crossed with that question. It didn’t seem like anyone was in the mood to return to training, so they ended up taking a break.

Eric split off from the group with his water bottle. I walked over to him and sat down.

I glanced at his face, straining my eyes to see any sign of that shadow I’d glimpsed earlier, but it had completely disappeared.

It was such a dramatic shift that I almost wondered if I’d just imagined it...but for some strange reason, that shadow clung to the back of my eyelids and refused to let go. It had left a deep impression on me, maybe because I just hadn’t expected that a clown like him was even capable of feeling that kind of pain.

So...even a bohemian like him is bound by the ties of familial duties in the end.

“Nothing like the fetters of family, huh?” I said.

Eric turned to look at me.

Then, after a beat of silence, he replied, “Hmm? Nah, I wouldn’t say that.”

My eyes went wide. It was such a swift denial that I couldn’t suppress my surprise. It was almost like he’d just read my mind—as if he knew that I was mentally putting us in the same boat.

I felt like he’d seen right through me.

Suddenly, I felt mortified.

That’s right... What was I thinking? He’s not even the real duke’s son.

“I’m so grateful that I was born a Burton. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart,” he said, his lips instantly relaxing into a gentle smile.

There wasn’t a trace of that shadow on his face now. I was astonished by just how...childlike his expression was.

But my astonishment quickly transformed into bitterness.

What’s wrong with you, putting any stock into what this fraud says? I berated myself. Not only had I subconsciously convinced myself that he was the real duke’s son, but I’d even started identifying with him. I couldn’t believe how foolish I’d been.

“How can I complain when my parents and my siblings let me have free rein?” he said.

“I still can’t tell if you’re real or fake. But on the one-in-a-million chance that you are who you say you are, then I think they could really afford to tighten those reins,” I replied.

“Hah hah...”

◇◇◇

There he was again, training with the knights.

At some point, it seemed that Eric had become a fixture of their training sessions, and the knights happily followed each and every order he barked at them.

As I watched him wipe the sweat from his brow with his shirt, I couldn’t help but frown. Seriously, what kind of nobleman would ever behave like that?

“Were you raised in a barn or something? Use a towel, for God’s sake,” I said.

“The ladies love it when I do this,” he replied, winking at me.

It was such a stupid, affected gesture that it made me want to stick my tongue out at him in return.

What kind of man winks at another man? I wondered. But no sooner had that thought entered my mind than Eric began motioning with his eyes, as if to guide my gaze with his own.

So, I followed his gaze to a window in the guest villa and noticed several maids looking down with rapt attention.

Then a man appeared in the adjacent window and waved his hands, sending the maids scuttling away from the window they’d been occupying in a hurry.

The scoundrel was putting on a show! I thought, scandalized. He knew they were watching!

His appetite for female attention seemed absolutely bottomless. I was astounded (and disgusted) by the depths of his craving.

If this lout really is a noble, and if he really is the duke’s son...then he hails from a very high-ranking family. He ought to know better than to make overtures to the maids, even if it is only in jest. He’ll get their hopes up, and it’ll end in tears... That’s just the painful reality of it.

“Is that all you ever think about?” I asked him.

“Hmm? Yeah.”

“Doesn’t it, you know...wear on you?”

“Not really. It’s just a part of life for me now,” he replied nonchalantly.

I snorted and muttered under my breath, “Well, isn’t that just great?”

From what I’d heard, each and every one of the maids in the guest villa was absolutely smitten with the man. What was so endlessly fascinating about this Casanova was a complete mystery to me, though.

Suddenly, an image flashed in my mind of someone very close to me who had found herself under his spell—but I quickly dismissed the thought.

No...I don’t think there’s any undoing that spell. The man risked his life to save her, and at her tender age, it’s no wonder she’d fall for him. Nothing I could say would sway her.

It was even more of an uphill battle when you took into consideration my youngest sister’s propensity for falling in love at the drop of a hat.

But it had to be said that her crush didn’t reflect well on her taste. She would be much better off giving up on this clown and finding a man of more upstanding character—hardly a difficult task when the bar was already so low.

I found myself wishing that she’d just kept pining after Prince Edward instead.

I looked at Eric. He was a shallow womanizer, that was for sure...but there was no denying that he had saved the little princess’s life.

I remembered, suddenly, that I hadn’t yet thanked him for that. I’d been so focused on warming the little princess up as quickly as possible that there hadn’t been room in my head for anything else.

“Thanks... For what you did the other day, I mean,” I said.

“Hmm?”

“You saved our little princess.”

“Ohh. Well, any knight would have done the same.”

He seemed caught off guard by this, and from his tone I could tell he was thinking, You’re thanking me for that?

As far as Eric was concerned, I was just a knight like any other. People typically realized who I was when they saw my royal golden eyes, but since Eric wasn’t from here, that hadn’t clued him in.

So maybe he just didn’t feel like there was any point in asking me for any favors in return, but...he’d saved a princess’s life. It was surprising to me that he wasn’t asking for a show of gratitude from someone. Even if he wasn’t the real duke’s son, a feat like that was more than enough to earn him some glory.

But he didn’t seem interested in chasing glory—or anything, for that matter. The man was becoming more and more of a mystery to me by the minute.

“But because you did it, our little princess is now absolutely obsessed with you.”

He laughed. “It’s an honor, truly.”

“And I’ll have you know that I’m working around the clock to keep her in check,” I continued. “Leaving the lovestruck little princess aside, you’d better not try anything funny with Her Highness Princess Diana. I don’t want any scandals.”

“I’m being the perfect gentleman, thank you,” he retorted, shrugging off my probing gaze.

Two princesses fighting over the same man—it was a tale as old as time, and it always ended in tragedy. I wasn’t about to let him drag them—or me—into some tawdry theater drama.

They were the only sisters I had. I wanted them to get along and be happy.

“You know, if you keep this up, you’re going to wind up with a knife through your back one day,” I said.

“I can’t be anyone else but me” was his aloof reply.

But behind those detached, devil-may-care words...I sensed that there was a deeper meaning. It made me want to probe them in search of something more.

What does he mean when he says he “can’t” be anyone else? I wondered.

He was a ladies’ man, so I’d assumed that he acted the way he did because he was desperate for the fawning attention of women.

In all likelihood, he wasn’t a noble. He’d probably been hired by the duke to act as a body double for his son.

He was a very capable swordsman, but I couldn’t imagine that they’d have sent a mere mercenary for a delicate job like this. He wasn’t the type to work out in the open. Surely, he was more suited to working in the shadows...

So, for someone in that position to suggest that he couldn’t act any differently...it had to mean that he was putting on the playboy act as part of his livelihood, right? There were spies who specialized in romantic affairs. Honeypots, as they were called, were always an integral part of an intelligence-gathering network. And it seemed to me...that there was every possibility this man was in that line of work.

He’d said himself that his goal was to call the engagement with Her Highness off. If he was that skilled at making women fall in love with him, then maybe the duke had hired him in hopes that he’d also know how to make them fall out of love.

I looked at his face.

He couldn’t have been far from me in age. He had a pretty face—the kind that women would probably go crazy for.

How many people have you fooled with that pretty face of yours? I wondered. How many women have you seduced?

“I can’t be anyone but me,” he’d said—but surely this wasn’t the real him. How far had he gone to suppress the man he really was, all so he could live as a tool for his employers to use at their whims?

Bewitching the maids...making himself out to be the man of our little princess’s dreams...what if all of that was just part of the job for him?

Even if his behavior earned him enemies...even if it put his life in danger...what if he had no choice but to live this way?

What if he’d grown up believing that this was the only option available to him? Maybe the circumstances of his birth had been even more unlucky than my own.

He must have realized that I’d been peering into his face, because he turned to face me.

He looked at me with those dusky blue eyes and cocked his head in a show of confusion.

It was such a...childlike gesture. He looked so young, as if he must have been no older than my sisters.

Without even realizing why, I opened my mouth and blurted out, “Hey, are you...”

But just then, the little princess interrupted, and I lost my train of thought.

“Eric!” she cried.

“Damn... Speak of the devil...”

What was I even going to say? I wondered.

Unfortunately, I would never find out.

◇◇◇

“Come on, little lady. Time for your martial arts training,” I said.

“Excuse me?! Don’t try to get in the way of me and Eric!”

Now that we were back in the castle, I let go of her hand suddenly. She stumbled forwards a bit and turned around to glare at me.

“I will, and you can’t stop me,” I said. “A womanizer like that is going to have you eating straight out of his hand. I’m telling you this for your own good: You need to stop pining after him.”

“I don’t want to hear that from a full-grown man who’s still single,” she retorted.

“My romantic life is of no concern here.”

“Yes, it is!” she said, puffing out her cheeks.

No matter how many years passed, she always wore that same pouty look whenever she got angry.

Adorably self-centered, beloved by all, and hopelessly earnest...that was our little princess.

“If you don’t settle down with a nice woman soon, Diana and I will be too busy worrying about you to get married ourselves!”

“That’s sweet of you.”

“Hmph! You’re a real handful, big brother,” she said, striking a haughty pose with her hands on her hips.

Look who’s talking, I thought, giving her a little push on the back as we continued down the hallway.

◇◇◇

I was doing my nightly patrol one evening when I suddenly got the feeling that something was off.

I shook off the maid who tried to stop me and opened the door to the little princess’s bedroom, only to find it empty.

I questioned the maid, who had the guilty look of someone who knew exactly what was going on, and learned that the little princess had apparently stolen into Eric’s bedroom.

She might have been my little sister, but I was appalled that she’d attempt such a thing. It was the only time that I’d ever thought to myself, She really does take after the king.

I figured that Eric would probably wake up immediately and realize that someone was in his room, but apparently, the little princess’s personal maid had roped one of the guest villa maids into spiking the man’s drink.

The maid’s excuse was that she’d only been trying to help the princess. According to her, there was no need for anything untoward to actually transpire between them—all the princess needed to do was to sneak into Eric’s bed and wait until morning. When he discovered that they’d been sleeping in the same bed together, he would come to his own conclusions.

It would be, in her words, a “fait accompli.”

This is outrageous, I thought. The biggest issue was that Eric wasn’t some simpleton; he was the future duke’s body double. Surely he would have seen right through the spiked drink and woken up like normal.

What is that womanizer going to do to the little princess?

The thought made my blood run cold.

Discarding any thought of keeping up appearances, I ran straight to the guest villa. As soon as I entered the building, I heard a shrill scream.

A woman’s scream.

I leaped up the stairs in one bound and ran towards Eric’s bedroom door, ready to kick it down if I had to.

“Marie!” I yelled. “Are you all...right...?”

“Richard...”

When I entered the room, I was greeted by the sight of Marie curled up on the rug, and, for some reason, the duke’s youngest son, Lord Christopher, standing in between her and his older brother protectively—that is to say, the man who was pretending to be his older brother (though God only knew who he really was).

It was not at all the scene I’d been expecting to find. As I looked around the room, trying to piece together what was going on, my mind raced wildly.

Why is his younger brother shielding him behind his back like that? I wondered. Wait, no. There’s a bigger question here: Why is the princess making that strange face?

My confusion was becoming unbearable. Unable to restrain myself, I yelled, “What the hell is going on here?!”

◇◇◇

As I was debriefed on the situation, it became clear that things had gone exactly as I’d feared—at least, up until the halfway point in the story.

The little princess had sneaked into Eric’s bedroom and climbed into his bed. Eric, who was weakened by the sleeping medicine in his drink, had woken up to find her on top of him.

Apparently, that’s when Eric’s little brother heard the cry and came running into his—her—bedroom.

After her little brother finished berating me for the princess’s poor upbringing, he left the room to report to the crown prince of Diagrantz.

There was nothing for me to say. The kingdom of Diagrantz had erred in bringing a fraud to the palace to pretend to be the duke’s son, but our kingdom was undoubtedly more in the wrong now that one of our princesses had spiked “his” drink and sneaked into “his” bed.

In all honesty, it was probably for the best—as far as the princess’s future was concerned—that the duke’s “son” was a woman. I couldn’t help but feel grateful for that strange twist.

If Eric had really been a man, then it was unlikely he could have resisted her. And because Eric was a woman, it meant that the princess’s reputation wouldn’t be tarnished.

But I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that the man in front of me—or rather, the person in front of me—was a woman.

In hindsight, that scream hadn’t sounded anything like the princess’s.

I looked Eric up and down, but my brain still couldn’t reconcile what I was seeing with what I knew.

Her face looked plainer than it usually did, but I supposed that was probably because she typically wore makeup.

Wait... Wearing makeup is technically feminine, I thought.

But no matter how much I strained my eyes to make out anything else feminine about this woman, I couldn’t find a single thing. She had a pretty face, sure...but it wasn’t feminine. Her nose was straight and firm, and her eyebrows were raised sharply. There was a cool nonchalance in her eyes, and she wore that same flirtatious smile that she always wore.

Her hair was about the same length as mine and cropped in the back. Her build was similar to mine too, actually. When she’d been training with the knights, I’d noticed how toned and lean she was. She was taller than me, too, with long, slender limbs.

And her womanly features—such as they were—were nothing like those of the women I knew. In fact, from a visual inspection alone, there was hardly any sign of breast or buttock to be seen.

How in the world does any of this make sense? I thought.

Knowing her true identity made her womanizing ways inexplicable to me now.

“Are you seriously a woman?” I asked her as she watched her little brother leave.

I knew that hearing it from her probably wouldn’t make it any more believable, but I had to ask.

She turned to look at me and cocked her head. Then, after blinking several times, she just shrugged.

“That’s what we’ve been saying, isn’t it? Wanna see for yourself?” she said, as her fingers moved to the top buttons of her pajama shirt.

What?

A million question marks filled my head.

Wait... Why are you unbuttoning your shirt?

Logically speaking, the only reason she would be doing that was to show me something underneath it...right? Which was to say...something that would prove she was a woman.

Wicked images flashed in my mind, and I immediately lost it.

“Whoa! All right! All right!” I yelled, grabbing her hand to stop her.

Once I’d prevented her from undoing them, I buttoned her shirt back all the way up to the top.

“I believe you! You don’t need to undress!” I said.

Once I was convinced that she wasn’t going to try that again, I breathed a sigh of relief.

If she was ready to prove it to me...does that she mean she really is a woman? I thought. Honestly, I still didn’t fully believe it...but I knew that I had no choice now but to accept it as fact.

Covering my face with my right hand, I asked, “So... Does this mean that our little princess tried to climb in bed with a woman?”

“Well... Yeah, I guess so?” was her nonchalant reply.

At this, all I could do was cradle my head in my hands and groan.

“There’s no need to act so surprised. Noble children hide their genders all the time.”

“Don’t try to minimize this,” I retorted, swatting away the hand that she’d tried to place soothingly on my shoulder.

Hiding your gender was something that a kid did, not an adult. There was no reason for anyone to do that, save for some inheritance dispute that the family was trying to avoid.

Unless...

Maybe she’s got some complicated family mess to wade through, just like I do?

Thinking about it logically, no woman would ever pretend to be a man unless there were circumstances that compelled her.

One thing was for sure: She had to have some sort of reason, whatever it might have been, for doing this.

Suddenly, an uncomfortable realization dawned on me: I’d been so caught up in thinking about what the little princess had done that I’d completely forgotten that I’d sneaked into her bedroom once. I’d even climbed up onto her bed...and I’d seen her bare skin while she’d been training with the knights too.

Just a few moments ago, she’d even unbuttoned her shirt in front of me. I mean, I’d buttoned them back up...but still.

And right now, we were here alone in her bedroom—just the two of us.

Crap.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was guilty of things that made the princess’s behavior pale in comparison.

Shaken, I turned to look at Eric.

She was sitting on the couch, undoing the buttons of her collar.

Why are you undoing those buttons...?

Why...are you undoing those buttons?!

Panicked, I lunged towards her in a desperate attempt to make her button them back up again.

“Hey! Keep your shirt buttoned!”

“If you don’t like it, then just leave.”

“For God’s sake! Keep! Your! Shirt! Buttoned!”

She gave me a look of utter displeasure.

Wait... I don’t need to get so worked up about this. What’s my deal?

I attended to Diana and Marie as their personal guard, so I’d seen them change clothes countless times. I was used to it by now.

That’s right... Surely I should be used to this...? I thought. No, what am I saying? It’s different when you’re related to a woman!

“Lord Eric!” a voice cried, just as I was trying to dispel the wicked visions that were coming to me, unbidden.

The door flew open with a bang, and Diana came stumbling into the bedroom.

She stared at Eric and me, freezing in place.

Then a blush crept across her face, all the way up to her ears. She covered her face with her hands and peeked at us through her fingers.

Wait... No. This isn’t what it looks like! I thought.

I didn’t know what it looked like, actually...but whatever ideas she was getting, they were way off base!

“I-I’m so sorry! I... I...!” she cried.

“Listen, Dee, it’s not what you think,” Eric began.

“Please, don’t mind me! I didn’t mean to interrupt! Just enjoy yourselves and take all the time you need!”

Before Eric could explain, she’d scurried back out of the bedroom in a hurry.

Trust me, you weren’t interrupting anything.And we’re not in here “enjoying” ourselves.

Eric turned back to face me. A strange look played across his face, as if he were trying to find the right words.

Finally, he clapped me on the shoulder encouragingly and said, “Well, uh... Don’t let it get to you, Richard.”

“You...” I began.

But I was so exhausted, I just flopped down onto the couch without even finishing my sentence.

For some reason, the evening had really taken it out of me. I didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

I’m begging you, make this madness stop...

◇◇◇

According to the crown prince of Diagrantz and her little brother, “Eric” was in fact the future duke’s little sister, Lady Elizabeth Burton. (Lord Christopher’s identity had also come into question, considering that the “Eric” here wasn’t really the duke’s son...but, as it turned out, he actually was her younger brother, at least as far as she and the duke’s son were concerned.)

Everything I’d learned so far had already been a lot to take in, and this new information only added to my confusion.

His little sister? I thought. Who in God’s name sends their little sister to a foreign kingdom to be a body double?!

Was the future duke so precious about his life that he’d sent his own little sister in his stead? He’d even gone so far as to make her dress as a man?

Just then, I remembered something she’d said before: “I can’t be anyone else but me.”

Both her appearance and demeanor must have taken time to cultivate—she couldn’t have crafted them overnight.

Did that mean that she was always forced to wear this facade?

Was the “me” that she had to be...her older brother’s double?

That’s insane, I thought.

What kind of man would make his little sister do such a thing? It was downright inexcusable.

Not that I had any right to cast judgment...

Then I remembered her saying, “I’m so grateful that I was born a Burton. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart,” and an image of the expression she’d worn flashed in my mind again and again.

It had been such an oddly childlike expression.

Children of noble families were often utilized as political tools, regardless of our wishes—that was simply a fact of life for us. But, even so...was that any excuse for doing this to a girl?

I’ve made up my mind. Maybe no one else in the world will treat her like a woman—like a real person—but I will.

◇◇◇

Today was the day that our Diagrantz visitors would leave us, setting off on their journey back home.

I barged into the throne room, wearing my full formal attire.

When was the last time that I entered the throne room in anything but my knight’s uniform? I wondered.

Diana looked over at me and smiled with the faintest trace of a sparkle in her eyes. I had a feeling that she’d gotten the wrong idea about something, but I didn’t have time to worry about that.

I walked straight up to Eric—no, Lady Elizabeth—and took in a deep breath.

“Look at you, all dressed up like an aristocrat! What’s the occasion?”

“I’m a man, and it’s time for me to step up and act like one,” I said, ignoring her.

“Okay?”

“Marry me!”

“Huh?”

Suddenly, the whole room fell silent.

I frowned, willing myself to spit out what I needed to say next.

“I need to take responsibility for my actions,” I muttered, my voice strained.

“Uh... Which are...what, exactly?”

“I had no idea that you were a woman—much less the daughter of a prominent nobleman—but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I...sneaked into your bedroom. Worse yet, I’ve seen you change. I’ve seen your bare skin.”

At this, she turned around to look at the people standing behind her, panicked. She must have been concerned about what everyone from Diagrantz would think. For some reason, they were all glaring daggers at her.

“Let’s just slow down here a second, Richard...” she said, putting her hands up in the air placatingly.

“There’s only one thing to do! I’d be a disgrace of a man if I didn’t take responsibility for this!”

“Oh, my! Now, now, now!” Diana cried, interrupting me.

Heels clicking, she walked over to us. Then she looked up at me with her sparkling eyes.

“Oh, brother!” she exclaimed.

Whenever she looked at me with that earnest, beautiful gaze...I found myself getting utterly lost in it. I wasn’t worthy of beholding her gaze, and yet here she was, gracing me with its splendor nonetheless.

“D-Diana, please. I’ve told you not to call me that in public.”

“Whether we’re in public or private, it doesn’t change the fact that the same blood runs through our veins.”

“I gave up my right to accede to the throne long ago.”

We always sounded like such children whenever this topic came up. Still, I had no right to be called “brother.”

Lady Elizabeth, who had been watching me struggle to reason with my incorrigible sister, suddenly spoke up.

“Okay...right. So, you’ve got a thing for your little sister.” There was a hint of confusion in her tone.

“How many times do I have to tell you? It’s not like that!”

“A sister complex, then?”

“Shut up!” I yelled, with so much force that I almost clicked my tongue.

I was furious at her accusation, but I didn’t deny it. I knew that I didn’t deserve to be called “brother.” And yet...even if they didn’t think of me as their brother, I cared for them deeply as my blood-related sisters. I’d abandoned my responsibilities, leaving them to shoulder the burden themselves—but I wanted to do whatever I could to help them. It felt like the least I could do to atone for my sins.

“Oh, but this is splendid, brother!” Diana cried, her eyes sparkling as she watched Elizabeth and me go back and forth.

The smile on her face was absolutely radiant—more dazzling than I’d ever seen. It was so striking that I doubted my own eyes.

“You’re in love with Lady Elizabeth, aren’t you?”

“What?!” I blurted out in a shriek.

No, I’m just trying to take responsibility for my actions, that’s all! I protested internally. It had absolutely nothing to do with “love,” or anything of the sort.

Although I wouldn’t deny that I sympathized just a little with Lady Elizabeth’s circumstances.

“Where in the world would you get that idea, Diana?! I’m just trying to take responsibility, that’s a—”

“I can see exactly what’s going on here! You just can’t admit your feelings, right?!” Diana exclaimed. “I support you wholeheartedly, brother!”

“Please, just listen to me!”

“You’ve never been honest about your feelings, brother! But when the easygoing, carefree—yet also mysteriously unpredictable—Lady Elizabeth showed up, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from her. Nay, you found yourself positively under her spell! But try as you might to push your feelings down, you stumbled across her one day in a state of undress...and discovered that she was actually a woman! And before you knew what was happening to you, you had already fallen deeply, madly in love!”

Diana stretched her hands out to the ceiling theatrically, speaking in a rapturous, sonorous tone, almost as if she were singing.

I was so transfixed that any thought of cutting her off had vanished from my mind.

What in the world is my sister on about? I wondered. Whatever it was, she seemed to be having a lot of fun with it.

Then she clenched her raised hands into fists and pulled them close to her body.

“Oh, what a rush!” she cried.

I couldn’t for the life of me understand what she was so giddy about. She ought to have been crestfallen, surely, that the man she’d called to Normandius in hopes that she might one day marry him had turned out to be a woman.

It didn’t seem like she had been all that serious about marrying the future duke, but even so...I just couldn’t make sense of why she was in such high spirits.

“You only ever think of the two of us, brother. You’re always putting yourself second,” she said.

“Diana...”

“You really are too nice for your own good...giving up your right to the throne all so that we wouldn’t have to fight for it. I just wish that you would think of yourself a little more.”

“You’re giving me too much credit... I only gave it up because I didn’t want the hassle, and I’m an illegitimate heir anyway,” I replied, scratching my head as I tried to escape her penetrating gaze. Those golden eyes were the same as my own.

Ignoring my rebuke, Diana turned instead to Lady Elizabeth.

“As you can see, he just can’t bring himself to be honest with his feelings...but he would do anything for his family, and I can personally vouch for his honest character and good heart. I feel sure that you’ll come to adore him, Lady Elizabeth.”

“Right...”

Please, just stop, I thought, covering my face with both hands. If I really cared so much about my family, then I never would have run away and left you two alone to carry the burden of the crown.

“You’ve already come all this way, so perhaps you could stay for just a little longer? I know that you’ll find so much to love about my brother—and our kingdom!”

As Diana piled on the praise, I found myself growing increasingly desperate. I wanted to yell, “I’m begging you, stop this!”

But then Diana took Lady Elizabeth’s hand in hers and pulled her closer. Beaming, she looked straight into Lady Elizabeth’s eyes.

“I’m sure Diagrantz is absolutely lovely...but I can assure you that our kingdom is every bit as wonderful,” she said.

At this, everyone from Diagrantz chimed in, saying that if Lady Elizabeth stayed, they were staying too.

And, as if it were only the natural thing to propose, the little princess added, “Excellent! I’d love for you to stay longer too—so I can train with you.”

With Lady Elizabeth’s hand in hers, Diana grinned widely. Marie joined them, happily wrapping her arm around Lady Elizabeth’s and clinging to her.

Even after that traumatic little episode in Lady Elizabeth’s bedroom, Marie still seemed as fond of her as ever. Even the other day, when she’d promised to behave herself and stay in her room, she’d still gone running up to her.

But I couldn’t help but feel that the look in her eyes was somehow different to the moon eyes she’d been making at Lady Elizabeth before, back when she’d seemed like a blushing maiden in the throes of youthful passion.

Look at how happy my sisters appear, I thought. If I want to support them, then the right thing to do is to honor their wishes.

Like I said, I’m just doing the right thing. There’s nothing more to my desire to take responsibility. I’m not in love with Lady Elizabeth, or head over heels for her... I swear it’s nothing like that.

“Remember what I told you? ‘Normandius will welcome you with open arms.’ I feel sure that our two kingdoms would only stand to benefit from you marrying into our family,” said Diana.

“You must be joking,” the crown prince of Diagrantz spoke up. “And do you expect me to hand over every soldier in the Diagrantz military?”

“Oh, my! Prince Edward, you really mustn’t talk like that. Nothing could be more important to me than Lady Elizabeth’s happiness.”

Diana smiled as she turned her head to look at Lady Elizabeth.

Everyone in the room was looking at her.

Lady Elizabeth just smiled. It was an oddly childlike smile... I had the strangest feeling that I’d seen it somewhere before.

“There’s someone back home waiting for my return,” she said.

◇◇◇

When I went looking for Lady Elizabeth, I found her outside of the guest villa helping to load up a carriage.

What’s she doing loading the carriage by herself? I wondered. She’s a girl, for God’s sake—and a noblewoman, at that.

That being said, she was much stronger than I was. No doubt the knights and attendants she was helping didn’t even blink an eye at her presence.

But still...

“Hey,” I called out, as I approached.

“Oh, hey. It’s you,” she said.

Now that I’d called out to her, I actually had no idea what I wanted to say. I just hemmed and hawed for a while until she put me out of my misery and broke the ice.

“I still can’t believe you’re actually a prince,” she said.

“Please... I don’t want to hear that from you. I thought you were just some body double that the duke’s family had hired. To think you were actually the duke’s younger sister... I didn’t even know that was possible.”

“Well, guess I’m proof that it is.”

No matter how many times I looked at her, all I could see was a shallow flirt of a man. Nothing more, and nothing less.

Even now that I knew she was a woman, I still couldn’t quite believe it. There had to be something more—something darker—behind the perfect act she put on as a man.

“Hey...” I muttered, scratching my head. “You must have some deeper reason for dressing like that, though, right? Something you can’t talk about easily?”

“Nope.”

“Yeah, I figu— Wait, what?!”

I’d already started nodding, fully expecting her to say “yes.” At her unexpected reply, I jolted my head up.

I’d never expected her to say no.

“So, there isn’t some deeper reason?!” I asked again.

“Nope,” she repeated.

“So...there’s nothing? No deeper reason whatsoever?”

“Nope.”

“Then...why do you dress like that?”

“I don’t really know how to answer that, honestly...”

She looked like she was at a loss. Maybe all of my hounding had gotten to her, because her expression seemed overwhelmed.

After making a show of thinking for a while, she finally said, “Personal preference, I guess.”

“Personal...preference?”

“Yep.”

“Ugh, forget it. I was an idiot for ever expecting you to be a rational person,” I said, sighing, as I cradled my head with my right hand.

I’d expected an answer like “I have no choice. I’m under orders to dress like this,” or maybe, “This is the only way I can survive.”

Although...I supposed that even if she did have deeper reasons, she was probably unlikely to tell a near stranger like me what they were. Still, she looked so genuinely nonchalant about it all. It didn’t seem like she was lying.

After spending several moments groaning into my hand, trying to wrap my head around it all, I decided to just cut to the chase with the question that had been on my mind this whole time:

“So, you’re not just doing this because the duke ordered you to?”

“Huh? No,” she replied. Then she elaborated, “Actually, my older brother really didn’t want me to come here in his place. He did everything he could to stop me.”

“Huh? Wait... Is your older brother actually a decent guy, then?”

I knew that sounded rude, but I was so stunned that I couldn’t help but blurt it out. To my surprise, Lady Elizabeth’s carefree composure actually crumbled for once, and she shot me a glare.

Still, I wasn’t completely convinced that the duke really was a decent guy...but, at the very least, Lady Elizabeth seemed to genuinely adore him.

“He’s a bit of a worrywart, and he’s always putting other people first. We ended up getting into a bit of a fight over my journey here, but...he’s got a really good heart, and he’s always looking out for me. I’m really proud to have him as my older brother,” she said.

When she spoke about her older brother, she wore the expression of a little kid proudly showing off their trinkets and treasures.

Suddenly, I remembered seeing her wear that expression before. It had been during a break from her training with the knights...when I’d sat down next to her, and she’d told me how happy she was that she was born into the Burton family.

“So that’s how it is, huh...?” I muttered.

“I’m sure it’s like that for your little sisters, too, right? Marie and Dee probably feel exactly the same way about you.”

At this, my eyes opened wide in surprise.

Diana and Marie...feel the same way about me?

Was she suggesting that they were proud to have me for an older brother? But that was preposterous. I’d never looked after them the way an older brother should.

In fact, all I’d ever done was foist the responsibilities I should have carried onto them. Diana might have thought that I’d done that to avoid an inheritance war...but the truth was, I’d just run away from my responsibilities.

The king had let his judgment lapse in a moment of passion when he’d conceived me with my mother, a lowly maid...only to later abandon her, thanks to her status. Unable to bear the pain of how he’d treated her, my mother had taken her own life. Then the senate had swooped in, hoping to prop me up in the inheritance battle for their own gain.

Everything about the situation just felt so insufferable.

So...I ran. I threw everything away, citing my humble lineage.

Just like my father, I’d used status as an excuse to abandon my responsibilities. And just like my mother, I’d given up everything in a fit of emotion. But it was only once the deed had been done that I’d realized...I was just like the two people I hated the most.

Now, I served the royal family as a knight, hoping to at least atone for my sins. But as noble as that motivation might have sounded, that, too, was self-serving in the end.

I was desperate not to turn into either of my parents. When I really thought about it, that desperation had been the catalyst for everything.

There was just no way in the world that I was a good older brother.

Forget “good”—even calling myself an “older brother” felt presumptuous.

“No, I think our situation...is different to yours,” I said.

“Doesn’t matter what you think,” she replied with an astounding degree of certainty.

Without thinking, I turned to look into her eyes.

The person I saw looking back at me wasn’t the smooth-talking ladies man I was used to. Instead, I saw a girl—a girl whose innocent smile was full of love for her older brother back home.

Suddenly, I realized something: That childlike smile she sometimes wore...was almost certainly connected to memories of her older brother.

“All that matters is what Dee and Marie think,” she said.

An image of Diana and Marie flashed in my mind.

Then I heard their voices, their warm words echoing in my mind.

“Hmph! You’re a real handful, big brother.”

“You only ever think of the two of us, brother. You’re always putting yourself second.”

“I just wish that you would think of yourself a little more.”

Oh...

Both Diana and Marie called me “brother.”

It was obvious from their words how much they cared about me. Why hadn’t I been able to see that?

No matter what anyone else said, they were both my precious little sisters—the only ones I had. I loved them so much, and yet...

Was I trying to run away from my own feelings too? Was I trying to run away from facing my family? Doesn’t that make me...exactly the same as my parents?

I looked back into Lady Elizabeth’s piercing blue eyes, which seemed to see right through me...and shrugged.

“I... I guess you’re right,” I said.

At this, the girl in front of me smiled so wide, I could see all of her white teeth. It was such a mischievous, infectious smile, that I couldn’t help but laugh.

Suddenly, I felt a surge of emotion welling up in my chest.

I was nowhere near being able to claim that I was an older brother worth being proud of...but I hoped that, one day, I would be.

It was like that wish that had begun to sprout as I’d watched over my sisters had just been affirmed—or maybe, like I’d finally noticed it for the first time.

It’s okay for me to want to act like a proper older brother.

It felt like that realization was finally dawning on me.

And in many ways, I owed that to this girl standing in front of me...and the loving pride she had in her older brother.

As soon as I started to relax, my sister’s words echoed in my head again:

“You’re in love with Lady Elizabeth, aren’t you?”

No... No, no, no. This isn’t love. She just reminds me of my sisters, I guess. For some reason, I can’t take my eyes off of her—but that’s all it is, really.

I found myself making excuse after excuse to Diana, who wasn’t even here to hear them.

That’s right... This is all her fault.

Even if I put aside all the stuff about taking responsibility and making my little sisters happy...I couldn’t help but be drawn to Lady Elizabeth.

And that was all entirely, one hundred percent, her fault.

She’d given me the exact words I’d needed to hear most, and then she’d looked at me with that genuine, defenseless smile.

I wasn’t about to let her act like that meant nothing.

“You know,” I began, turning to face her as we loaded up the last of the cargo. “You’re never going to find a husband if you keep this up.”

“Yeah. I know,” she replied, giving me a wry smile.

“So, I just wanted to say...”

I watched her eyes grow wide in surprise as I spoke.

When I looked into those blue eyes that I swore could see right through me, it was like I lost sight of everything I wanted to say... In the end, I couldn’t manage to spit it out without cushioning it in a joking tone.

“If you can’t find a husband no matter how hard you try...and you get really, really desperate...then I’ll marry you. I’m prepared to take responsibility.”

“Pfft!”

She burst out laughing at my declaration.

I knew it was partly my fault for saying that in a joking manner, but it still kind of stung that she laughed.

When she turned to look at me again, her mouth was twisted into a smirk. She was back to being her usual clownish self, apparently.

Strangely enough, I felt...disappointed.

It wasn’t until now that I realized how much I wanted to connect with the girl behind that frivolous, playboy mask she wore.

“You know, I’ve never been proposed to by a guy before. It’s kind of refreshing, actually.”

“Hey... I’m being serious here.”

“Of course you are. Well, thanks,” she said, chuckling as I frowned. “But...sure, all right. If I’m really struggling, I’ll give some th—”

“That won’t be necessary,” a voice from behind called out, cutting her off mid-sentence.

Prince Edward, who should have already been inside his carriage, walked right in front of Lady Elizabeth and turned to face me.

It was almost like he was trying to insert himself between me and Lady Elizabeth. Instinctively, I looked into his face searchingly.

“That won’t...be necessary,” he repeated, sounding like he was trying to catch his breath.

The expression on his face was completely different to the usual placid smile I was used to from the crown prince of Diagrantz. There was a frosty look in his eyes. One wrong move, and he looked like he might snap.

I was honestly taken aback by how unabashed he was about it. He wasn’t even trying to hide his hostility towards me.

He’d seemed quite protective of his martial forces, so maybe it wasn’t all that surprising that he was wary of anyone luring one of his knights away.

But...it was strange. It felt less like he was protective of her as a military asset, and more that he had a special fondness for her as an individual—as Elizabeth Burton, rather than as a knight.

No... This can’t be what I think it is...

“If the situation is looking dire, I’ll be here to take her as a wife,” he said.

“Uh... Pardon?”

“Let’s go, Lizzie.”

And with that, he took her hand and spun around to leave.

After regarding the crown prince of her kingdom with a puzzled look on her face, she turned around to look back at me and give me a wave.

As it turned out, the situation was exactly what I thought it was.

When I thought back on it, Prince Edward had been acting oddly fixated on her at the lake and at the masquerade ball.

As a crown prince, he could have his pick of anyone he wanted. So why her, of all people?

Did he intend to rope her into a royal mess, all for a moment of passion?

Suddenly, my little sister’s words echoed in my mind again:

“Nothing could be more important to me than Lady Elizabeth’s happiness.”

Then an image came to me of Lady Elizabeth’s flirtatious, playboy smile.

The look on her face when she’d said “I can’t be anyone else but me” was burned into my memory.

My thoughts were flooded with the memory of her smile as she thought about her older brother.

It seemed to me that she didn’t have any idea what would actually bring her happiness.

Maybe I’ll ask my sisters for some advice, I thought as I watched her back grow smaller and smaller in the distance. I think they’d like that.

There’s a Reason They Call It “Falling” in Love —Marie—

What the heck?! What’s that jerk’s deal?!

I flung myself onto my bed and pounded my pillow.

Today was supposed to have been the perfect chance to get some precious time alone with Eddie, and that jerk had gone and ruined it! And then, to top it all off, he’d made me lose in a show of combat!

Eric might have called it a draw, but we all knew that it was as good as a loss—my loss.

“You couldn’t beat me, Princess Marie... So? Have I enchanted you?”

The awful creep’s snide smile flashed in my head as I remembered what he’d said to me.

“This was no different to choosing your fiancé based on who wins a duel. You have to admit, it’s a bit silly, isn’t it? Admit it, Princess. Your crush on Prince Edward has nothing to do with the outcome of your duel with him.”

All of the blood suddenly rushed to my head, and I blushed furiously...probably because he’d hit the bull’s-eye.

Instinctively, I buried my head in my pillow and flailed around, kicking my legs furiously.

After I’d let off some steam, I plopped my legs down onto the bed with a sense of finality and let out a sigh.

Ahh... You’ve turned into such a dashing man, Eddie, I thought wistfully.

He’d been dashing before too, obviously, back when he’d come to Normandius to treat his illness...but I felt like there was something a little different about him now. He seemed like more of a man now, I supposed...more grown up.

As I was thinking about Eddie, my thoughts suddenly wandered to the man who’d been standing behind him. His face flashed in my mind.

If only my sister would fall in love with Eddie instead...

What she saw in that ill-mannered boor, Eric, was beyond me!

She looked like she had it all together, but she could be a bit of an airhead sometimes. I’d have to give her a firm talking-to and lay down the law. She needed to know that I wouldn’t stand for having that jerk as my older brother-in-law!

◇◇◇

I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on, but one thing was for sure: Eddie was acting weird.

He’d completely ignored me on the carriage ride to the lake. He’d spent the entire trip talking exclusively to my sister, and then he’d had the nerve to abandon me and set off in a rowboat alone with her!

It was strange, because he’d never acted like this before...

Maybe he’s fallen in love with her? I wondered. But does that mean...he doesn’t love me?

No... That’s ridiculous! I’m sure he’s only trying to make me jealous!

Then I felt a hand grabbing me by the collar, and I looked up to see Eric.

Was he trying to separate me from Eddie? He certainly didn’t seem to think very highly of me, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if he were.

Well, guess what?! I hate you too, you big jerk!

“But! But I wanna ride with Eddie!”

“Well, I’m afraid you’re out of luck. That boat can only carry two passengers,” Eric said, giving me a much too brilliant, toothy smile.

Ugh! He really is a creep!

When I glared up at him, Eric just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and let go of my collar.

Well, fine! I’ll just wait for my turn and go for a boat ride with Eddie when they get back, I decided.

Then, peering over at me and looking into my eyes as I pouted, Eric thumped his chest and said, “That means you ’n’ me are going to have to—”

“I’d rather die than ride with you!” I interrupted.

“Who said anything about riding together?”

“Huh?”

Suddenly I realized that, while he’d been speaking, Eric had been getting not one, but two gondolas ready for us on the bank of the lake.

Then he pointed to a big rock far in the middle of the lake, so far away that it was almost on the horizon line.

“Want to see who can make it to that rock and back the fastest?” he suggested.

“Are you proposing a competition? Very well, then! I accept!” I replied, proudly snorting through my nose as I approached the gondolas.

I might have lost our duel—even though it had technically been a draw—but that was only because Eric had been a dirty cheat, so it didn’t count!

Eric, who’d grown up in Diagrantz, likely had little experience with paddling. But I’d been out in gondolas countless times, so I felt confident that this would prove to be an easy win for me.

And once I’d claimed victory over him, he’d have no right to get in between Eddie and me anymore!

At the signal from Eric’s maid, we both set out on our gondolas.

My theory about Eric’s lack of experience seemed to be right on point, because sure enough, the distance between us immediately began to grow wider and wider as he trailed behind me.

Hah, I knew it! Easy as pie!

As I paddled my gondola farther into the lake, my strokes swift and fluid, I saw Eddie and my sister’s boat come into view.

When I caught sight of Eddie laughing like he was having the time of his life, I felt an awful pang in my chest, like someone was squeezing my heart.

I know I’d just been wishing that my sister would fall in love with Eddie instead...but that was only because he was much better than that jerk, Eric. I’d never said anything about letting her have Eddie, though!

Wait for me, Eddie. I’m the one who loves you!

I was quickly approaching the rock now, just about to the turning point. I turned around to look at how far Eric had fallen behind me.

What?

But how?!

To my horror, he’d almost caught up to me now.

I don’t understand... He was so far behind me before!

He was paddling much faster and much harder than he had been before. Even the expression he wore now was completely different. Gone was his flippant smile, replaced by a piercing look in his eyes as he fixed them on me...almost like I were some kind of prey.

Who knew it was so terrifying to be pursued?! I thought.

Panicked, I faced forwards and churned the lake water with my oar, paddling as hard as I could. All I had to do was make it to the rock without slowing down, make a sharp turn around it, and narrowly avoid a crash while doing so.

If I let Eric catch up even a little more, the lead I’d worked so hard to gain would be for nothing. The minute I let my guard down, he’d be on my tail.

I turned my boat around the rock, sticking as close to it as I could.

That’s it! Now I just have to keep this up until I get back to—

Ka-thunk!

“Eeeeek!” I yelled.

Just as I was about to try to right my oar, the gondola began swaying violently. As soon as I realized that my boat had slid up onto the rock, I was already being flung right out of it.

“Marie!” a voice yelled, calling my name.

Fleetingly, I caught a glimpse of Eric extending a hand to me. He had a strangely serious expression on his face.

I don’t recall ever giving you permission to address me without a title, I thought in the corner of my mind.

In the next moment, my entire field of vision was taken over by the lake’s depths. Even when I managed to poke my head up out of the water, the spray from my violent splashing prevented me from opening my eyes. I could barely breathe either, for fear that I might gulp down a mouthful of water.

Before long, I lost the strength to stay above water. I felt myself sinking into the lake, unable to move.

I was cold and terrified. My body felt so heavy. I couldn’t even open my eyes.

I’m scared. I’m so scared! Is this...how I’m going to die?

Suddenly, I felt something grab onto my arm.

Through my barely parted eyelids, I saw someone gripping my arm and pulling me towards them.

I couldn’t see their face clearly...but I could see their blindingly bright blond hair, illuminated by a ray of light that penetrated the water’s surface.

Whoever they were, they held me close as they swam up to the surface in a propulsive burst. In moments, we reached the surface, and I immediately gasped for air...but water filled my mouth, and I started coughing.

“It’s okay, Princess Marie. You’re safe now.”

“Oh...”

The person who’d saved me—Eric—rubbed my back and guided my arms around his neck, so that I could keep my head afloat and breathe more easily.

The firm-yet-gentle grip of his hand on my shoulder made me feel oddly reassured, and the heat emanating from his body was much warmer than the temperature of the lake water. Little by little, I felt my shallow breaths begin to steady, growing longer and calmer.

It was finally beginning to hit me that I was safe now.

“Just hang on to me and take some deep breaths, okay?” Eric said, pushing back his wet bangs, which were sticking to his forehead.

I coughed. “Y... You...”

I was surprised by how gentle his tone was. Without thinking, I stared into his face.

Why...did you save me? I wondered. You might have drowned too.

I couldn’t believe he’d come to my rescue after I’d said to his face that I hated him. And didn’t he hate me too?

But he’d sounded so desperate when he’d called my name. He’d plunged into the water to save me without a moment’s hesitation, and he’d wrapped his arms around me.

And now...he was smiling so sweetly at me. But why?

It almost felt like...he cared about me. Like he was genuinely glad that I was safe.

Our eyes met.

As his blue eyes gazed into mine, I found myself at a loss for words.

◇◇◇

After Eddie and my sister took us back to the shore in their rowboat, Eric found a piece of driftwood for me to sit on.

Richard ran over to us, a towel ready in his arms, and wrapped it around me as he rubbed me dry.

Then he picked me up and carried me to a nearby lodge. He was being awfully rough with me, so I puffed out my cheeks in a pout and whined, “Excuse me! I deserve to be carried properly, thank you!”

“Have you forgotten how to use your brain?!” Richard yelled.

I was so startled, I flinched.

He never yelled like that when he was chiding or warning me.

After sitting me down in a chair, he looked down at me and continued, “Don’t you know how dangerous it is to make such a sharp turn at that speed?!”

“Y-Yes, I’m well aware, actually!”

“Then you’ve got no excuse!” he said, doubling down. “If you know better, then don’t do things like that!”

I know... I know, okay? I know how stupid that was, believe me. But...

“I just...didn’t want to lose.”

“Well, there’s no point in winning if you’re dead, is there?”

He sounded absolutely exasperated.

Bending down on one knee, he looked me in the eyes and said, “If you die, it’s all for nothing.”

It almost sounded as though he were telling that to himself...

As I looked back at him, I quickly lost all desire to protest.

I mean, he just looked so pitiful... And I swore I could hear a hint of a tremble in his voice too.

He took my hand in his. It was almost as cold as mine, even though he hadn’t even fallen into a lake. His face was pale too—as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over him.

My sister’s face had looked the same earlier, when she’d been worrying about me.

Squeezing my hand, Richard sighed and said, in a trembling voice, “Don’t scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry...”

Being the mature young lady that I was, I decided to give in. If he was really that worried about me, then I at least owed him an apology.

What a handful you are, brother!

After patting me on the head gently, he went over to the fireplace and got a fire going.

That pat on the head was all it took for the tension to leave my shoulders. I felt so relieved, I could have cried...but I was a lady, and ladies had to keep their composure.

After some time passed, Eric and his maid (or was it his friend?) came and joined us in the lodge. Whoever his maid-slash-friend was, she was clinging to him like glue as she sobbed.

I felt sure that she was older than I was...but I’d never seen anyone older than me cry like that before.

With a towel draped over his shoulder and the crying girl still clinging to him, Eric took a seat on the sofa.

His hair was all messed up, ruining any styling he might’ve done in the morning, and water still dripped from his fingertips. His long, slender blue eyes looked strangely sultry as they peeked out from behind his bangs. And when I remembered how muscular and toned his physique had felt when he’d been carrying me to the boat earlier, I suddenly felt my face growing hot.

He... He was just cradling me in those arms... N-No, what am I saying?! I’m just feeling flushed from the fire, that’s all! Yes, I’m sure that’s it!

After shaking my head a bit to regain my composure, I steeled my resolve and opened my mouth.

“Um... Eric?” I said.

“Yes?”

“Th-Thank you for...um...saving me.”

My voice trailed off as I neared the end of the sentence, but I was satisfied that I’d given him a proper thank-you.

A lady never forgets to show her appreciation!

Eric’s eyes grew wide for a moment, but then he broke into a soft smile.

I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eyes anymore. Flustered, I averted my gaze.

Oh, no... I’m blushing now, aren’t I? I thought, mortified. This is all so wrong... I don’t care a whit for this creep! Don’t let him pull the wool over your eyes, Marie!

I knew better than to let my feelings get the best of me. I mean, he was probably going to end up being my sister’s fiancé, and besides, he’d even brought one of his lady friends with him to the lake. And moreover...moreover...

“No need to thank me, Princess. All that matters is that you’re safe.”

When he looked at me, his eyes softened into a gentle smile...and my heart skipped a beat. And with each heartbeat that followed, a growing fondness for him seemed to suddenly gush out of me.

Oh... That’s right. There’s a reason they call it “falling” in love.

No matter how disagreeable you found someone, no matter how much you fought it...no matter how much you knew, cognitively, that you shouldn’t fall for someone...you just couldn’t help yourself.

I knew, from all the romance novels I’d read, that by the time you started thinking up reasons you shouldn’t love someone...it was already too late.

And now I was experiencing that firsthand. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this was real—this was true love.

I mean, could you blame me? After a dashing rescue like that, how could I not fall in love with him?

I’ll just have to keep him on a tight leash and whip him into shape. Yes, that ought to do, I thought.

Resigning myself to the fate of my throbbing heart, I scooted in closer towards Eric and rested my head on his shoulder.

Am I close enough for him to hear my pounding heart? I wondered. Part of me hoped that he couldn’t...but another part hoped he could.

My conflicting feelings sent my heart aflutter again as I pretended to be asleep.

◇◇◇

I lay in my bed, my head in a daze.

I thought I’d been hiding my crush on Eric well, but my maid had figured it out... One thing had led to another, and the two of us had ended up devising a scheme to make him mine.

According to my maid, all I had to do was create a “fate accomply” before he went back home to Diagrantz. And apparently, I could do that by sneaking into his bed and waiting there until morning.

Once the deed was done, I would have license to marry him.

“You’re so sweet and lovely that I’m sure Lord Eric must wish for that too,” my maid said.

Of course, I already knew how to accomplish a fate accomply—as any respectable lady would.

My maid said that nothing actually needed to happen, and that I could just wait until morning and pretend that Eric had simply forgotten everything that had transpired between us...but I knew what I really needed to do.

I just have to kiss him while he’s asleep, right? Well, that’s no big deal at all. Not for a lady like me, that is.

So, with everything all planned out, I got my maid to take me out of the palace with her and sneaked into Eric’s bedroom...and that’s where I learned the cold, hard truth.

The cold, hard truth...that “Eric” wasn’t actually Eric. But that wasn’t all—it turned out that “Eric” wasn’t even a man.

Richard was absolutely furious with me for what I’d done, as was Eric’s little brother...Christopher, I think it was.

But I was in such a state of shock that their anger didn’t even register for me.

I mean, never had the thought crossed my mind that Eric could have been a woman—not once in all the times we’d spoken, nor when he’d...she’d...put her arms around me.

That scream that had come out of her mouth, though, had unmistakably been a woman’s...and Christopher had even called her “sis.”

No matter how hard I tried to wrap my head around the fact that Eric was actually a woman, I just couldn’t come to terms with the new reality that I’d fallen in love with a woman.

After all, she dressed like a man...I’d fallen for her because I was under the impression that she was one.

And yet, now that I knew I’d been mistaken...what was I to do?

Where was the Eric that I had fallen in love with? Had it all been...just a lie?

When he’d come to my rescue at the lake...and he’d smiled that sweet, gentle smile at me...was none of that real either?

What did that mean about the love I felt for him, then? Was that...fake too?

There was a knock at my door. Then it opened, and Richard and Diana entered my bedroom.

Suddenly, I realized that the sun had begun to rise outside my window. For the first time in my life, I’d stayed up all night.

Richard and Diana had instructed me to stay in my room and behave. Apparently, it was inexcusable to sneak into someone else’s bedroom, and everyone from Diagrantz was incredibly upset by what I’d done.

I understood that, of course. I knew that my behavior had been inexcusable, but...

“But Eric bears some blame too. He’s a liar and a fraud!”

“Marie...”

“He’s done something inexcusable too! Hasn’t he?!”

“Marie...” my sister said, cutting me off. Then, looking me straight in the eye, she asserted, in a quiet, dignified tone, “Even if someone else has done something wrong, that doesn’t make it acceptable for you to do the same.”

“Ngh...!”

Before I could even try to protest, I found myself at a loss for words. There was no arguing with her...because everything she’d said had been exactly right.

“As members of the royal family, we must endeavor to set a good example for our subjects. We ought to think before we act, each time asking ourselves, ‘Can I stand by my actions, no matter who might be here to witness them?’ We must always, always take that question into consideration.”

“I know... I know that, but...”

I clenched my sheets in my hands, looking down at them as I struggled to come up with some sort of excuse. But before I could, Richard interjected.

“Now, now. I said my piece earlier too, so maybe we can leave this here for today, Your Highness? And my little princess, that goes for you too. Get some good sleep and reflect on what Her Highness has said.”

I didn’t reply. I could think about what she’d said all day...and even though I knew she was right, I just couldn’t accept it.

I knew I’d done something wrong, but that didn’t change the fact that Eric had too, right? Weren’t those two separate things?

It didn’t feel fair that I was the only one getting a scolding!

“I know you’re upset with Eric for pretending to be someone she isn’t, but she probably has her reasons,” Richard said.

“Her reasons...? Like what?” I demanded.

“Don’t ask me—I don’t have a clue either. But a girl couldn’t transform that thoroughly into a man just for kicks, could she?”

When he put it that way... I had to admit he had a point.

Even now that I knew Eric was a woman, whenever an image of her flashed in my mind...I still couldn’t pinpoint even a single, remotely feminine thing about her.

Maybe she had some very compelling reason to hide the fact that she was a woman? Maybe she couldn’t afford to have her real gender revealed? If that were the case, then I supposed I could see why she’d have to commit so thoroughly to pretending to be a man.

That girl who followed her everywhere seemed to be head over heels for her, so she probably didn’t know the truth either... Maybe she was even hiding who she really was from Eddie?

Suddenly, a horrific thought occurred to me.

It must have been a huge undertaking for her to look and act so perfectly like a man. What if...all her hard work was going to be ruined all because I’d sneaked into her bedroom last night? What if everyone was going to find out the truth, all because of me?

The more I contemplated that possibility, the more I felt the gravity of what I’d done. My behavior was beginning to feel much more consequential than I’d first imagined.

“Well, you just stay put here and behave for today, all right?” Richard said. “I hear Eric and that girl she brought with her are taking the day to visit the church.”

“That’s right, isn’t it? Perhaps we ought to try smoothing things over a bit before she gets back? And of course, we must thank Prince Edward for his kindness and discretion,” Diana added.

With one final reminder to me to stay put and behave, Richard and Diana left to take care of their business.

They’d told me that everyone from Diagrantz was upset with me, so I probably wouldn’t be allowed to say goodbye to them when they left.

But I couldn’t bear the thought of parting ways with Eric on this note.

Eric might have been a liar and a fraud...but she’d still saved my life. I knew I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I never got the chance to repay her for that.

My sister had advised me to take care that I could stand by my actions, no matter who might be around to witness them. Well...I couldn’t stand by and leave an apology unsaid.

I knew that I would never forgive myself for that—not for the rest of my life—and I hated the thought of living with regrets.

I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least tell her I was sorry.

So I got out of bed.

I opened my bedroom door and turned to the guard standing outside my room in the hallway.

“You can chastise me all you want later, but please, I’m begging you—please take me to the church,” I said. “I...owe Eric an apology.”

I Wish They’d Never Come Back at All —Martin—

“Hey, Marty,” a voice called casually. I’d just sent them flying with a kick after they’d tried to ambush me from above.

Shouldn’t you be saying that before you try to jump me? I thought. Actually, why can’t you just say “hello” and be done with it like a normal person?

These past three months had been a blissfully peaceful reprieve.

While the crown prince had been gone, I’d had extra long shifts to cover between my Royal Guard duties and protecting the Burton family. I didn’t mind, though, since the actual work involved had been no big deal at all.

I didn’t—for example—have to try to chase down a certain duke’s daughter who might or might not be untrackable. Nor did I have to try to make up some palatable reason that she “couldn’t attend” a certain crown prince’s summons, when in fact she had simply refused them.

The slightly longer shifts I’d been working lately paled in comparison to the mental toll that I usually had to deal with.

I wish they’d taken their time and enjoyed the sights in the West for a bit longer, I found myself thinking. Better yet, I wish they’d never come back at all.

In spite of the kick I’d launched her way, I barely felt my foot make contact. She did a neck spring and hopped back up in no time.

Brushing the dirt off her back, she walked up to me and asked, “Life been treating you well?”

“You could say that...”

“Glad to hear it,” she replied with a laugh.

I could’ve sworn her hair was shorter than it had been the last time I’d seen her. Seeing her again for the first time in a while brought to mind the portrait that her older brother had shown me—the one of when they’d been young children.

How in the world did that little girl turn into...this?

I couldn’t for the life of me understand it.

“Oh, that reminds me. I’ve been dying to tell you about my trip,” she said, beckoning me closer with a curled finger.

“You...have?”

No doubt she’s just playing this up for the drama, I thought.

But I resigned myself to moving in closer and leaning in, so she could whisper into my ear, “The Western princess has absolutely huge knockers.”

For a moment, I was too stunned to speak.

“What?” I finally said.

“Huge knockers,” she repeated. “And I’m not talking just ‘a little buxom’ here, I’m talking...” she paused, as if considering whether she wanted to demonstrate with her hands. But she seemed to think better of it. “I’m talking massive bazonkas.”

What the hell is she on about?

I couldn’t believe our conversation had taken such a nosedive.

“No, wait, I’m serious. Whatever you’re picturing, they’re at least 1.7 times that big. I swear I’m not exaggerating.”

Again: What the hell?

This whole conversation was weird to begin with, but what was even weirder was that she’d actually trotted out a fairly plausible number like 1.7.

Who do you think you are? Some sort of academic?

“And they’re nice and soft too,” she added.

You touched them?

What had she even gone all the way to the West for anyway?

After talking with her again for the first time in a while, I was reminded that I had absolutely no idea what was going through her brain at any point in time. The woman was an utter mystery to me.

I glared at her and let out a sigh.

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“’Cause you love a nice rack, don’t you?” she replied matter-of-factly.

Just how long am I going to keep being subjected to this? I wondered. I couldn’t help but feel that she would probably never let it go.

Also, for the record, I did love a “nice rack”...but that didn’t mean that I loved to talk about it. What was the point in breasts that you couldn’t appreciate firsthand, either visually or tactilely?

“I couldn’t help but picture your face the moment I saw the princess,” she continued.

“Right...”

“Get His Highness to take you along next time he goes to the West. Then you’ll see why I thought of you.”

Seriously, why did she even go on that trip? I wondered. Surely it wasn’t just to admire the princess’s ample bosom?

“Don’t you have anything else to share?” I asked, exasperated.

“Hm?”

“Some more appropriate anecdotes, maybe?”

She cocked her head, making thoughtful “hmms.”

Is the princess’s chest really the only thing that made any lasting impression on you? If you have to think about this so hard that you’re cocking your head, then maybe you shouldn’t have gone at all, I thought. Or actually...maybe you should have stayed put there a little longer.

“Hmm, well... We arrested someone at the masquerade ball, but that was kind of a nonevent actually, all things considered, so...” she began. “Other than, uh... Oh, I know. Wanna hear about how Lilia and I almost drowned in a cave?”

“What?”

“Honestly, though, that story’s kind of a dud too. Turns out, the ‘sacred sword’ we found just glowed in the dark and was heavy as hell.”

She’d completely lost me.

A masquerade ball? And what was that about drowning in a cave...with the saint?

Trying to make sense of anything she was saying was probably just a fool’s errand.

“Oh. And I was proposed to,” she said.

You’re kidding me...

It seemed she’d still been up to her womanizing ways, even in the West.

What’s this all about, anyway? Is she just trying to brag about hitting it off with a buxom princess?

Well, I was under no obligation to humor her in this boastful tale any further.

“I’ve had just about enough of this. We’re done talking about big breasts,” I said, putting my foot down.

“No, that’s not where this is going. It was a man who proposed.”

“Wait... What?”

“Yeah. The big-boobed princess’s, uh...half brother, I think?”

Again, I found myself utterly lost.

I’d heard that there were two princesses in the West. If there was a prince too, then surely he’d be next in line for the throne...but I hadn’t heard anything about that.

What was more, I’d heard that Elizabeth had gone to the West disguised as her older brother—which was to say, the future Honorable Duke—which would mean that she’d been proposed to by a man while she was pretending to be a man.

It was an absolutely dumbfounding scenario. I couldn’t for the life of me understand it—nor did I want to.

“It wasn’t really anything romantic, though. He only proposed to me out of a sense of duty, or something, because he was trying to take responsibility for sneaking into my bedroom and accidentally seeing me change,” she explained.

Okay... I could see someone accidentally walking in on someone while they were changing. That was plausible enough. But sneaking into someone’s bedroom? There was no way in hell that was an accident.

If a man tried to sneak into your bedroom under the assumption that you were a man, and then went on to propose to you, the only correct response was to run as fast and as far as you could in the other direction.

I shuddered to think what might have happened if my master, the crown prince, were to have been witness to such a scene. I couldn’t imagine that going over well with a deeply jealous man like him.

He had seemed a little distracted ever since he’d returned to Diagrantz...but I’d assumed he’d just been decompressing from whatever messes Elizabeth had made over the course of their trip.

“But I have to admit, I was pretty taken back. I mean, no respectable man has ever proposed to me before,” she said.

I hope you’re not suggesting that he was the first, because I can assure you that this man is anything but respectable, I thought.

Of course, Elizabeth didn’t seem to have a very good grasp on what counted as “respectable,” so she probably wasn’t the best judge of character to begin with.

And besides, no respectable man would ever propose to a lout like her.

When I considered that, though, I realized something: Elizabeth might have been the daughter of an influential duke, but after the annulment of her engagement to the second prince, her future prospects were dubious at best.

After all, she’d likely be considered “damaged goods” now. Her manly appearance certainly didn’t help matters either. Even if she had the Honorable Duke’s blood flowing through her veins, few suitors would be willing to marry her—my master, of course, being a unique exception.

All of that considered...maybe she didn’t have much reason to refuse this man’s proposal? Maybe it was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to secure herself a husband?

Hearing her talking about this man like he was somehow “respectable,” it was clear that she hadn’t come away with a bad impression of him. Did that mean...she was actually interested in accepting his proposal?

I briefly tried to picture Elizabeth in a wedding dress...but I couldn’t even begin to imagine what that would look like. No matter how much I tried, my imagination just wouldn’t go there.

Without thinking, I voiced the question in my head aloud: “So? Will you?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you marry him?”

“No, that’s not gonna happen, unfortunately.”

Unfortunately for who, exactly? I wondered. Although, honestly, from my perspective, they’d probably both dodged a bullet. But doesn’t that make them the perfect match?

Coming to terms with this whole situation left me with a strange, uncomfortable feeling.

So... There’s someone out there for even a lout like her, huh? She could marry someone just as boorish as her...and foster a real loving connection.

Our shared disinterest in matters of love and marriage had made us, in a sense, comrades...or so I’d thought. Now, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being left behind.

It wasn’t fair for her to just up and switch sides like this all of a sudden. And if I was being left in the dust by someone with a million red flags, then what did that say about me?

As these protests swirled around in my head, I remembered her saying something similar to me once.

I guess we really are birds of a feather, or cut from the same cloth, or however you want to put it. Although not by choice, mind you.

She made an exaggerated show of shrugging her shoulders, laughing her usual devil-may-care laugh.

“If there’s some rule that you have to marry a man just because he sees you changing, then I guess I’ll just have to marry every last instructor at the training grounds,” she said.

The implications of what she’d just said were incredibly problematic, but my nerves were so frayed by now that I didn’t have it in me to probe that any further. So, instead, I just pretended I hadn’t heard anything.

Anyway, to come back to what I was saying—Elizabeth obviously had no intention of marrying. If she did, then she would almost certainly stop dressing and acting like a man. But she didn’t show any sign of stopping, which, as far as I was concerned, might as well have confirmed her disinterest.

At the very least, it felt safe to say that she’d probably keep this up for as long as her parents allowed it. And there was just no way that any man would see fit to marry her while she did, not just because of her masculine manner of dress, but also because of her boorish personality.

For some reason, the conclusion that my train of thought had brought me to was oddly reassuring.

“Oh, I meant to ask: You were stationed at the manor to guard my family while I was gone, right? I take it there weren’t any issues?”

“None whatsoever,” I confirmed.

“Yeah? Glad to hear it. Thanks.”

When I looked at her face, I remembered her older brother. I’d been so used to seeing him in the castle, working hard as the crown prince’s right-hand man, that he’d seemed like a completely different person when he was at home at the duke’s manor.

He was shorter than Elizabeth...and much rounder too. He seemed kind and gentle, like he wouldn’t hurt a fly, and he was always wearing a genial smile.

“You really are nothing alike,” I blurted out.

“Who?”

“You and your older brother.”

“Oh,” she said. “Yeah. We really aren’t, huh?”

Then she flashed a delighted smile.

It was different to her usual, bratty smile...almost bashful, even. Suddenly, I was reminded of the little girl in the family portrait her brother had shown me.

Her hair had been long, and she’d worn a lovely dress that had suited her just right. She’d looked like the kind of little girl who loved sweets and cute little things, who dreamed of falling in love and getting married one day.

In short: She’d looked like your typical little girl from a well-to-do family.

When I saw the shy smile on her face now, I could almost believe that she really had been that little girl once upon a time.

“My older brother’s a great guy...unlike me,” she said.

I’d only meant that they didn’t look alike, but she seemed to have read something else into my remark.

I certainly couldn’t argue with her that her brother was “a great guy,” though. So she wasn’t wrong that they were nothing alike in that sense too.

“Did you ever chat with him?” she asked.

“A little.”

“He’s really nice, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“I think he’s taken a liking to you too, actually.”

Then her smile transformed back into her usual mischievous one, and I found myself feeling oddly relieved. That arrogant expression suited a punk like her far better than the shy smile she’d been wearing earlier.

Wait... Did she just say “too”?

I knew better than to put too much stock into that, though. The way she’d said it, it sounded more like she’d just found her perfect plaything than anything.

“What gives you that idea?”

“Well, you’ve both failed several rounds of matchmaking meetings, haven’t you?”

I went silent.

She gave me a smirk that set my nerves on edge.

If only she could have spent a while longer over there in the West, I thought to myself again.

All Three of Them Under My Wing —Gried—

When Commander returned to the instructors’ office after putting away the sparring swords, I was watching Robert chase after Yoh. She followed my line of sight until her eyes landed on them too.

Then she sighed deeply, as if to say, They’re still at it?

“How did it come to this?” she asked.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I mean, Yoh. How did he turn out...like this?”

Reflexively, I turned my head around to look at her.

That’s a bit dismissive, considering they’re fighting over you, I thought. She had a heart of ice, that one.

“I can’t believe you’re even asking that,” I said, half in disbelief. “Surely you realize it’s your fault he’s like this?”

“Pardon?”

As I glared at her, she furrowed her brow right back at me. She looked ready to protest at any moment, as if ready to say, Hey, don’t try to pin this on me. But no matter how you tried to spin it, it was obviously her fault.

As we watched Robert grab Yoh by the foot and spin him round and round, I pointed at Yoh and said, “Look, I won’t deny that I put some ideas in his head too. But this all started with you.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“Oh, come on. That little trip you took to his jail cell? Remember that?”

At this, Commander put her hand on her chin and cocked her head. Apparently, she really didn’t remember.

I’d tormented the boy a bit during my interrogations, I’ll admit. While I was at it, I’d disciplined him just a touch too. I’d done everything I could to make sure he’d never dare to defy me—or anyone else here in the kingdom—again.

But an “education” like that came with side effects. By the end of it all, guys often wound up with some...funny predilections. That was just the reality of the situation.

But in Yoh’s case, he was already a goner before I’d even gotten to him. Someone had driven a wedge into his heart, and I knew exactly who it was—after all, I’d been there when it happened.

Needless to say, it was none other than Commander.

◇◇◇

“Yoh?”

“Uh-huh. He said he wanted to see you.”

Yoh’s request came shortly after he’d been imprisoned. He was under house arrest as a prisoner of war, so I relayed his request to Commander.

She cocked her head, looking puzzled by this turn of events. I couldn’t exactly blame her for that. After all, she was the one who was directly responsible for ruining all his grand schemes.

Most guys in his position would have never wanted to see her again.

Yoh had barely resisted his capture. Likewise, he’d undergone the series of interrogations I’d put him through without much of a fight. He’d acted completely defeated, and no matter how much pain he’d been in, he’d always insisted that he didn’t have any information that we didn’t already know.

In a word, he was useless.

We wanted to send him straight back to the East, but they didn’t want anything to do with him. I guessed he was useless to them now too.

Not only was he a worthless bargaining chip, but we couldn’t even kill him without suffering some self-righteous blowback from the East for “killing a member of the royal family.” As if they actually cared...

Anyway, the point was, we had no idea what to do with him.

This had made Commander’s decision not to kill him a wise one, although God only knew whether she’d spared him on a whim or because she actually had a decent grasp on the situation. She could be remarkably shrewd, but sometimes, I had no idea what was going through her brain.

Currently, the East was in a precarious position in the international political sphere. Whatever their reasons had been, they’d basically tried to start a war with our kingdom—a particularly bad move when one considered that we were ostensibly on friendly terms.

What was more, our kingdom of Diagrantz had a firm alliance with the most powerful nation on the continent: the West. So, it went without saying that the East would find itself at a pretty massive disadvantage if they tried to start a war with us head-on.

Both our kingdom and the West were probably in talks right now about how to leverage this incident in their favor, either by negotiating more favorable contracts with the East or even by making them a vassal state at some point in the future.

In the end, our reaction to the East’s attempts to infiltrate our kingdom was its own form of aggression.

See, this is exactly why I can’t stand crap like war and politics.

Yoh must have had a pretty good sense of where he stood. He barely ever ate or drank unless we forced him to. In fact, he seemed to have lost all will to live. He was like a living dead man.

But until this mess was all sorted out, Yoh was a critical piece of evidence. We couldn’t afford for him to actually die on us.

So, hoping to will him back to the land of the living, I tried asking him one day, “Hey, don’t you have anything to live for? Maybe you wanna get back at your country or something? Or return to your home? Something like that?”

His only reply was that he wanted to see Elizabeth Burton.

Honestly, I thought that was pretty weird.

I mean, he’d be meeting her behind bars, for starters. And whatever he might have been scheming, he had absolutely nothing on his person—we’d made sure of that. We couldn’t afford him offing himself, so before we’d tossed him into his cell, he’d been stripped naked to make sure he didn’t have poison or anything else he could hurt himself with.

What good will it do you to meet her in this pitiful state? I wondered.

I couldn’t just ignore his request, though—not if I wanted to get anywhere with him. So, figuring it couldn’t hurt to at least ask, I broached the subject with Commander.

I knew Robert would probably be pissed when he heard about this, though.

“You’re under no obligation to see him, of course,” I said. “Only if you want to.”

“Sure. Why not?” she replied.

I was sure she’d turn me down flat, but she agreed to my proposal immediately.

I was so stunned by this that I could feel my eyes growing wide. Surely Commander didn’t really want to see Yoh’s face ever again either?

“So...you do want to?”

“Yeah,” she said, smiling.

I was having a real hard time imagining that, but then I remembered hearing something about how Yoh had apparently tried to woo her back when he was a spy.

No... Come on. There’s just no way that they could’ve developed a fondness for each other from that, I thought. But...I guess there’s a one-in-a-million chance they could have...?

As I thought through everything, trying to make sense of it, I silently apologized to Robert for what I’d done.

Sorry, Robert. Don’t get the wrong idea—we’re all rooting for you.

◇◇◇

Commander and I headed down to the prison, which was underneath a tower inside the castle walls. We made our way through winding halls and passages until we arrived at Yoh’s room all the way at the end.

His room was furnished with a bed, a sofa, and a desk and chair, but it had been divided in half by iron bars that restricted entry and exit, turning it into a proper jail cell. If it hadn’t been for that, it might have looked like a normal room. And despite the fact that it was underground, the entire floor was well lit.

After glancing around with what looked like great interest, Commander concluded, “Pretty comfortable lodgings he’s got here.”

“Yeah. This is where they lock up the nobles,” I explained.

“What’s his meal situation?”

“Two meals a day, brought to him by the warden.”

“When’s lights out?”

“Uh... 10 p.m., I think it was?”

“What if he wants something?”

“As long as it’s nothing dangerous, the warden can procure it for him if he makes a request.”

“And is he allowed to see his family?”

The questions came at such a rapid-fire pace that it took me a minute to finally realize what she was really trying to gain from asking them.

“Commander? Don’t tell me you’re trying to picture what life in prison would look like for you?”

“Was it that obvious?”

I sighed, cradling my head in my hand. “So that’s why you wanted to visit...”

If you’re thinking of pulling any stunts that will land you in prison, I’ve got one word for you: don’t. Seriously, please don’t.

I just knew that any mischief she got up to, Robert would almost certainly join in on. And I didn’t love my chances of trying to stop the entire Royal Guard from whatever he might rope them into.

Our commander sure is a handful, I thought, my shoulders slumping.

I pounded on the iron bars and said, “Hey. I’ve brought you a visitor.”

A rustling sound followed—probably from rolling around on top of his bedsheets—and then Yoh appeared.

He’d thinned down to skin and bones for a while, but now he seemed to have put a little weight back on. From what I’d heard, he’d started eating his meals again once he’d been told that he’d be allowed to meet with Commander.

His disheveled hair swept over his dark eyes, but I could still catch a gleam of them as he fixed them straight on Commander.

Yoh rose from his bed and staggered over towards us, almost collapsing onto the iron bars as he clung to them. They made a loud rattling noise.

“Why did you not kill me?” he asked Commander, glaring at her with his dark eyes. Not even a trace of light seemed to penetrate them.

As I watched him speak to her, the dots began to connect.

Ah... So he wanted her to kill him, is that it?

“Did you spare me out of pity? Were you trying to save me?” he asked. “Surely it was not because you had truly fallen for me?”

“Nah. Didn’t really have a reason, actually,” Commander replied.

As soon as she said that, Yoh spit in her face.

“You devil!” he cried.

I immediately tried to come between the two of them, but Commander thrust her arm out to stop me.

She wiped her face with her sleeve, looking completely unbothered.

Oh, thank God, I thought. I’d been worried for a moment that she might have been about to beat the boy to a pulp, but I should have known that she’d have the sense not to do that.

“Hah! You simply lacked the courage to kill me, did you not? Yes, how could a cosseted babe ever bring herself to take a life?”

I couldn’t help but sigh as I listened to Yoh’s provocations. It was making me sweat hearing him push his luck like this.

For God’s sake, boy, I thought. You should just be grateful that your head’s still attached to your body.

“Nice try, tough guy,” Commander replied, snickering through her nose. She reached out to grab the iron bars in her hands. “It’s easy to grandstand like that when we’re safely separated by these bars, huh? Don’t think I’ve forgotten how pitiful you sounded last time I saw you, when you were begging for your life. Has being thrown in prison emboldened you? Maybe being a prisoner of war is your life calling.”

She pulled on the bars, bending them away from each other effortlessly. Seeing a display like that, you might’ve thought the bars were just for show.

“Huh?”

“Wha— Commander?!”

Ignoring me completely, she entered Yoh’s cell. She had the decency, at least, to pry the bars back into place once she was in.

H-Hold on! Let’s just slow down for a second here! I thought. But I knew that by the time I went to fetch the key to his cell and made my way back, it would have been too late. Commander could best a man in seconds, even unarmed.

I watched as Commander turned around, slowly (so slowly it was kind of creepy, actually), to face Yoh again.

I felt like a damn fool. What crazed delusion had I been under to think that that Commander would know better than to harm our prisoner? That was exactly the sort of thing she’d do, and I knew her well enough to know that.

Yoh’s face was growing paler and paler by the minute as he watched her. He took several steps back.

All I could do now was pray.

Please, just make a run for it, I begged the boy silently. Or at least beg for your life, or something!Look, I’ll even beg with you, all right? Just don’t let her kill you.

“What are you backing away for, when I’ve been gracious enough to come join you in here? You can spit on me all you want now. Come on, try me again,” Commander taunted.

“I... Ah...”

“Well? What do you want? Maybe I’ll hear you out, since I’m apparently a naive schmuck—or a ‘cosseted babe,’ as some say.”

Yoh continued to step back slowly until his foot hit the bed.

The impact sent him falling onto his backside on the bed, but Commander kept closing in until she was climbing onto the bed with him.

I couldn’t do anything but watch them.

“Don’t tell me you took me at face value when I said I’d make you my first kill? Hate to break it to you, but that was just a little lip service.”

Yoh scrambled backwards until he hit the wall. Commander followed him and banged her fist on the wall, leaning over him so closely that she was covering him in her shadow. She fixed her eyes on him intently.

I watched as Yoh, who had long since gone pale in the face, began to tremble.

“It’s kind of quaint that you think people have to have a reason for doing things. What a well-bred boy you must be,” Commander continued. “But I’ll let you in on a little secret: If you’ve got a fly buzzing around your head, a little thing like reason doesn’t have to factor in your decision to kill it or let it live.”

She grabbed him by the hair and lifted him up. His face contorted with pain.

Paying no mind at all to his groans, she looked into Yoh’s eyes and said, in a detached tone, “See, I don’t actually care whether you live or die, because I don’t care about you at all. I’ve got no obligation to spare you or kill you. That’s all there is to it.”

“Mmgh... Guh...”

Fat tears began to roll down Yoh’s cheeks.

She’d said that she was no good at torture, but after seeing this ridiculous show of strength, I knew now that that couldn’t have been anything other than a threat.

Yoh’s life had been saved by his archnemesis, who had called his bluff. And now that she was right here in front of him, he surely knew he ought to exact his revenge...but he was paralyzed with fear. To pour salt on the wound, here she was telling him that she didn’t care about him at all, looking down at him like he was nothing more than a worm.

I swore I could hear the sound of his heart breaking.

“If you want to die, go for it. And if you want to live, then just live your life already. Don’t sit around and wait for me to make the decision for you.”

As much as I pitied the boy, I simultaneously found myself feeling...jealous?

I couldn’t help but imagine what a weight off my shoulders it would be to have my spirit crushed so thoroughly. Or maybe...it would almost be a sort of reward to be subjected to such a harsh dressing-down?

Then Commander let go of Yoh’s hair, releasing him. He let out a little cry and curled up into a ball on the bed.

Just as Commander was returning to the other side of the iron bars and fixing them back into place, I heard a sigh.

“There’d be no point in trying to cage her,” a voice said.

It belonged to a hired assassin—or rather, ex-assassin—who’d tried to attack Robert in front of Commander once, only to have her turn the tables on him. He looked at Yoh with eyes full of sympathy—maybe because he felt they were birds of a feather, in some sense.

“It’s just like I said. They’re letting a goddamn tiger run loose.”

I looked at Yoh, who was sobbing softly on the bed.

His own country had forsaken him, and now he was being held as a prisoner of war with no agency of his own, robbed of the power to even decide whether to live or die. All he had left to cling to was his hatred of Commander.

And now, she’d bent him into submission and thrown it in his face that she didn’t even care about him. How must that have felt?

How much despair must he have been in, after having his spirit so thoroughly crushed?

Trying to imagine what that would be like made me shiver as a strange, indescribable feeling welled up inside of me.

I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before this stirs something inside of him too, I thought. No, I can’t think like that. I’m letting my personal biases muddy the waters.

My lip threatened to curl into a smirk, but I forced it straight as I turned to look at Commander. Then, gripping her firmly by the shoulder, I decided to fulfill my obligations as her senior officer to at least a bare minimum and warn her.

“Commander... I’m begging you, please don’t ever do anything that would land you in prison.”

“Wow, guys... I’ll have you know that both of your comments are completely uncalled-for.”

And with that, she shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

◇◇◇

For several moments, Commander looked like she was racking her brains trying to remember what I was talking about.

Finally, she muttered, “All I remember is being spit on and subjected to some rude and totally uncalled-for comments, actually.”

“Nice selective memory you’ve got there.”

At this, she just furrowed her brow again, looking thoroughly dissatisfied.

I just couldn’t believe that she could act like such a sadist and have absolutely no awareness of the effect she had on people. There was just no way she could be that blind.

“I feel bad for the guy. Treatment like that would trigger an awakening in anyone,” I muttered to myself as Commander eyed me suspiciously.

I’m sure that experience probably solidified Commander as his “master,” I thought.

But as soon as I started thinking that, I remembered that Commander already had a dog. I couldn’t help but feel a bit bad for him that he now had more rivals for his master’s affection.

“Poor Robert, though,” I added.

“Commander!”

Before I’d even noticed him returning, Robert had reappeared in the instructors’ quarters.

He was standing unobtrusively behind Commander, his typical blindingly bright smile replaced with an oddly gloomy expression. In fact, he was almost expressionless.

He was clearly sulking.

“I hate that guy.”

“Wow. It’s not like you to talk like that.”

“Well, I’ll make an exception for him. I’ll never forgive him,” he said with a sour look on his face.

Shortly after, Yoh regained consciousness and returned. Then the uproar began again.

As much as I wanted Robert’s decade-long loyalty to Commander to pay off one day, I couldn’t just leave Yoh to his pining. I felt for him now that he was a fellow agony enthusiast.

Maybe I’ll just have to take all three of them under my wing? I thought.

Honestly...that didn’t sound so bad.

Extra Story: The Third-Year Dance Party (Part 1)

Ever since we’d returned from our trip to the West, Lilia and I had been struggling to catch up on all our schoolwork—well, my schoolwork.

Like any respectable main character, Lilia was reasonably brainy...but she was shockingly bad at explaining concepts. To be fair, her terrible tutoring was probably because her intelligence was simply a result of her protagonist powers.

Her explanations made her sound just like the baseball legend Ooshima, who mentored junior players with gems like “Just move at the waist like zipang!” and “Swing your bat up like swoosh!”

None of it meant a thing to me, so I ended up zoning out pretty quickly.

Just as I was scanning the textbook lazily, eyes half shut, Lilia suddenly popped her head up and looked at me as if she’d just remembered something.

Actually, maybe it was more accurate to say that she’d just set her mind to something. I’d been thinking for a while now—since we’d first met, actually—that it was the look someone might wear if someone had just shoved something right between their butt cheeks.

“By the way, Ellie. Have you decided on your plans for the upcoming dance?”

“My plans?” I repeated.

I wasn’t sure what to say, since I didn’t really have any. I mean, we still hadn’t made our societal debuts, so why would I be thinking about dances?

Oh, wait... She must be talking about the school dance, not some high-society event, I realized.

It had completely escaped my mind that that was coming up, since I’d been insanely busy lately—first with all that business in the West and, now that I was back, with catching up on my schoolwork. Plus, my school event radar had dulled significantly since the game’s timeline had ended.

Right... Guess they’ve got one this year too, huh?

It seemed pretty obvious that they would, when I stopped to think about it. The game’s timeline might have ended, but school life still carried on as usual.

Whatever events we had last year, we’d have them this year too. The only exception seemed to be the Mr. Universe competition, which had probably been forever scrubbed from the school calendar after the chaos that had unfolded when I’d been a first-year.

There had apparently been some calls to host a yearly “I Love You Game” tournament, but fortunately, that suggestion had been promptly shut down.

Thank God that whoever’s running this show has their head on straight.

Anyway, I’d devoted so little thought to this year’s school dance that I hadn’t even realized that was what Lilia had been asking about at first. So, of course I didn’t have any plans for it.

When I just shrugged, Lilia put her arm out with her elbow bent, as if she were getting ready to lock arms with someone, and pointed to it.

“Well, the position of Lilia’s escort is currently open,” she said.

“Great. I’m not filling it.”

I wasn’t about to escort her to the school dance. There was absolutely nothing in it for me.

“Aww, come on! Go to the dance with me!” she protested.

“Hmm...” I mumbled half-heartedly. I’d already basically given her an answer, and I wasn’t really in the mood to entertain this. “I’m thinking I’ll pass on the dance this year.”

“Eh?” she said, but it sounded more like “weh?” The best way I could explain the sound was that it was like that old, out-of-use hiragana character for “e.” The weird one that looks like “ru,” but with a squiggly underneath it.

“Wh-What do you mean?! It’s the single biggest event!” she protested.

“The game’s over, remember?”

“Not of the game! I mean, of the school year!” Lilia replied, pounding her fists on the desk.

And? I thought. It wasn’t like there was anyone I wanted to dance with, or anyone whose invitation would send my heart aflutter.

To people like me, the school dance was about as big of an event as a regular old exam.

I guess it might be fun to go just to have all of the girls make a fuss over me... But it’s not like I don’t already get to experience that in my day-to-day life.

Besides, they’d probably be expecting me to outdo the knight’s uniform I’d worn last year, and...how could I put this? It’d be a real hit to my pride if they concluded that I looked better last year. Better to just save face by not going at all.

“No one’s even invited me,” I said to Lilia.

“N-No one’s...invited you?!”

At this, Lilia crumpled to the floor.

Young noblewomen were exceedingly modest. Whatever they might have been privately hoping for, the only choice they saw was to wait patiently to be invited. The only girl bold enough to invite someone herself was this man-eating saint.

C’mon, Lilia, surely you would’ve expected that? No need to be so dramatic about it.

I sighed as I stared at the whorl in her hair.

Based on how she was acting right now, it seemed pretty unlikely that anyone had invited Lilia to the dance either.

Setting her questionable personality aside for a moment, it seemed like an awful waste to pass up on a girl this cute. What in the world were all the guys in our school thinking?

I could only assume that they’d concluded they didn’t have a chance, given that she followed me around twenty-four seven. And honestly, I couldn’t deny that everyone in our class kind of treated her like some kind of unicorn.

It didn’t really seem like she’d been raising too many affection points with the love interests, but from the way Edward and Christopher acted sometimes, it seemed like they were at least a little interested. And Isaac and Robert were in her class, so they’d spent a fair amount of time with her. Surely at least one of them could invite her?

Like, what about Robert? Maybe this was the perfect chance for the pea-brained prince to shine?

Lilia must have been thinking the same thing, because she stared down at the ground and mumbled, “Hmph... What kind of love interest just sits there, twiddling their thumbs, instead of inviting a girl to a dance?”

“Hopeless, the lot of them,” I agreed.

“Ellie, no... That’s... That’s not what I meant,” she said weakly, turning her head around to look at me.

She stood up limply and returned to her chair. Then she sighed deeply and slumped over so her chin was touching the desk.

Where are your manners? I wondered.

After grumbling to herself for a while, she seemed to finally realize that I wasn’t about to change my mind.

“If you’re not going, then I’m not going either!” she said with an air of desperation.

You can’t just skip out. What’s a dance party without the main character? I thought.

Hoping to get this sentiment through her thick skull, I poked her whorl and said, “Come on, don’t say that. You sound like such a high school girl right now.”

“Um, earth to Ellie?! I am a high school girl!”

◇◇◇

“Hey, Martin?” I said.

It was the day after Lilia had talked to me about the dance. As it just so happened, I’d made plans with Martin to go shopping today, so I figured I’d ask him about the dance while we were at it.

“You went to my high school, right?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“What did you think of the dance parties?”

“What do—”

“Yeesh. Now that’s bitter.”

“Mmf!”

The baked sweet bread we’d gotten from the baker earlier was a hell of a lot more bitter than I’d been expecting. It was like it was stuffed with ground coffee beans or something. I quickly decided it was not for me and stuffed the rest into Martin’s mouth.

He briefly gave me a look that suggested he might protest, but then he quietly pushed the rest of it into his mouth and began chewing.

I closed up the bag and stuffed it into his jacket pocket so he could take the rest of the sweet bread home with him. I figured he could give it to his sister—Camille, I think? From memory, she was a coffee drinker, and she seemed pretty intrigued by the commoner lifestyle. Surely she’d enjoy these.

Once I was sure that Martin had swallowed the bread in his mouth, I tried again.

“Did you go to them?”

“To what?”

“To the dance parties.”

“I...” he began, before suddenly clamming up. Finally, he opened his mouth again to say, “I didn’t actually go to school that much, actually, so...”

“Oh? What’s this? Bit of a delinquent, were you?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Hey, no need to get embarrassed. Every teenager’s got a rebellious streak, right?”

As much as I tried to reassure him, though, I couldn’t hide the smirk that played across my lips at the thought of Martin going through a rebellious phase.

I could totally see him acting like a brat and yelling at his sister, “Shut up, you old hag!” He probably used to sneak onto the school campus at night and break a window so he could wander around the halls too.

It was hard to imagine him pulling off a pompadour, though. It’d probably overwhelm him.

“Did you ever steal a horse and ride off on it?” I asked him.

“Don’t lump me in with you,” he shot back.

Wow, okay. Rude.

I’d never stolen a horse before in my life, thank you—and that was because horses hated my guts.

He clammed up after that, apparently unwilling to give me any more insights into his wild youth. Guess I’ll just have to ask someone else what he was like as a teenager, I decided.

How much older was Martin, again? Three years my senior, maybe? In that case, his school years would be just shy of overlapping with my older brother’s. That made Camille my best bet.

“Enough about me, all right?” he said.

“All right, I’ll drop it.”

For now, I added silently, already beginning to plan finding a way to grill Camille.

I could feel his skeptical eyes glued on me, so I turned us back to the topic of the dance party.

“I was just wondering if there was any upside to going,” I said.

“Upside?” he repeated.

“Yeah. Don’t you have any fond memories to regale me with? Anything that might inspire me to go?”

“Not really...”

“Uh-huh... That’s not what the look on your face says.”

“Like I said, I’ve got nothing.”

He turned away again, avoiding my gaze.

Come to think of it, I haven’t really heard any tales of his romantic exploits.

All I knew was that he was apparently taking a break from romance after a series of failed matchmaking meetings. He really must’ve been down on his luck, because he was out here spending one of his precious days off hanging out with me.

The only other thing I knew about his love life was that he was a boob guy...but honestly, that was about it.

But to turn this on its head a bit, knowing that he was a boob man, surely he must have had some tales of being bewitched by lovely young noblewomen’s ample assets? Weren’t there some big pectoral muscles—sorry, I mean big hearts—that had caught his attention?

As I stared at his face intently, trying to imagine it, he let out a sigh.

“Unlike you, I don’t have some repository of romantic memories to share,” he said.

“Well, I haven’t really made any ‘romantic memories’ at a dance either, actually,” I replied.

Just then, a voice called, “Sir Knight!”

I stopped, turning around to see the greengrocer’s wife waving me over.

After exchanging looks with Martin, I walked over to her.

Grinning from ear to ear, she leaned in to whisper in a conspiratorial tone, “On a date?”

“Is that what it looks like?”

“Nope!”

With that, she opened her mouth wide and let out a hearty laugh.

I couldn’t help but smile awkwardly as I remembered how persistently she’d pressed me after seeing me out on the town with Lilia. The prying questions had been endless: “Is she your girlfriend?” and “Are you on a date?”

“How ’bout a bottle of one of our new drinks?”

“Sorry, but I’m not old enough to drink.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, hon. It’s nonalcoholic,” she said, handing me a bottle.

I’d assumed from the color that it was wine, but apparently it was just grape juice. I was actually on the hunt for something to cleanse my palate after that bitter sweet bread, so I accepted it gratefully.

“I’ll take it, then. Thanks.”

“You take one too, dear,” she said, handing one to Martin.

“Thanks,” he replied, taking it.

As we drank our grape juice, I thought back to my first- and second-year dances.

Robert, Isaac, and Edward—while cross-dressing—had all pressured me to be their date to my first-year dance. Then Christopher had shown up, and I’d forced him into a dress too. Fortunately, the night had ended mostly without incident...but I’d ended up having to dance with all of them.

During my second-year dance, all four of them had cross-dressed again, and had yet again chased me around the ballroom demanding that I dance with them. Meanwhile, I’d been busy trying to woo Lilia. I’d had to carry her off in my arms just to get away from them. My hands had been too full (literally) to do any dancing.

That’s when it suddenly hit me:

Come to think of it, I’ve never had a chance to actually properly enjoy a dance, have I?

Maybe the reason that I just couldn’t get excited about it was because, deep down, I was trying to avoid repeating the past?

To put it bluntly: I didn’t have a single positive memory of the school dances.

If I’d been a retro anime character, my eyes would’ve turned into two white, empty circles at the thought. “Boo-hoo-hoo! Please, no more dances!” I would’ve begged.

Honestly, it probably wasn’t overstating it to say that the experiences had left me with some PTSD.

Maybe I ought to sue the school for psychological damage? I thought.

“I just wanted to hear what a former delinquent like you had to say,” I said.

“Again, I was hardly a ‘delinquent’...”

“I probably ought to just go, right?” I asked, ignoring his protests.

He gave me a look that said, What the hell are you talking about?

It didn’t seem like such an outlandish question to me, though. I mean, surely it was better to go than to skip out, right?

“Look... You’re asking the wrong guy. I don’t have many happy memories of those dances,” he said.

“Hmm?”

“But... It’ll probably be different for you.”

He stared straight into my eyes as he spoke.

I had no idea what he meant by that, but I could only assume that he was trying, just like Lilia, to suggest that I’d be better off going.

“Isn’t there someone who’ll be happy you’re there?”

“Hmm...”

I shrugged, smiling wryly.

He had a point. That man-eater of a saint would be happy if I went, of course, and the girls in my fan club would probably be happy too.

Robert was always excited to see me. If he had a tail, he would be wagging it vigorously every time he caught a glimpse of my face. Then there was Isaac, who didn’t have many people to talk to other than me, and Christopher, who just couldn’t seem to cope without his older sister. They’d probably be happy to see me there too.

But, unfortunately, I wasn’t the self-sacrificing type, so that wasn’t enough to convince me.

Now, if I felt confident that I could find an outfit that hit last year’s out of the park—shoring up even more squealing and doting from the ladies in the process—then I’d consider going.

Just then, I thought back to the getup I’d worn last year.

“You know, that dress uniform you lent me felt almost tailor-made for me. From the length to the sleeves, it was a perfect fit,” I said.

“Was it?”

“It’s not even that we’re just the same height—our bust, waist, and hip measurements are all about the same too.”

At this, he spit out his drink.

Gross, Marty...

To be fair, I was counting the centimeters that my elevator shoes added to my height...and shaving off the centimeters that binding took away from my chest. So maybe it was a slight exaggeration to say that those measurements were “about the same.”

“Where’s this coming from?” Martin asked.

“What I mean is, my clothes would fit perfectly on you too.”

“What?!”

“I’ve been thinking for a while now that your out-of-uniform clothes are a bit, well...plain,” I said, looking him up and down carefully.

He always wore the same combo: a white shirt with a classic collar and a monochrome jacket. I’d seen him in this so many times now that it was almost enough to make me wonder if he actually had any other clothes.

It was a real waste not to experiment with color when his black hair made it practically impossible for his palette to clash. I wished he’d branch out a bit more.

“Just switching out your jacket could give you a completely different look,” I suggested.

“No, let’s not go there,” Martin replied, sounding uncharacteristically serious. “I’m not borrowing your clothes.”

“You sure?”

I cocked my head, baffled as to why he was so adamant in his refusal.

When I stopped to really think about it, though, I could kind of see why he’d be reluctant. I used makeup to give my features a little more oomph, and I picked my jackets to match my already done-up face. They probably wouldn’t suit his bare face or his typical casual attire.

“Fair enough. I guess your facial features are naturally pretty delicate, so dressing you up in anything too showy would just make it look like the clothes were wearing you, huh?” I muttered as I mentally tried to coordinate an outfit for him.

At this, Martin nodded his head vigorously—a little too vigorously, actually—in agreement.

Maybe that’s the issue, I thought. Maybe he thinks all of my outfits are too flashy?

I did my best to cultivate a robust wardrobe, picking pieces that ranged from simple to trendy. But for a guy who only ever wore white shirts, the kind of stuff I wore would probably seem like a giant leap on the spectrum from plain to showy.

Right. A simple, off-white piece is probably an easier place to start, I thought.

“Well, since we’re already out shopping, why don’t we stop by a tailor?” I suggested. “Maybe you’ll find something that catches your eye.”

“Focus on finding some formal wear for yourself.”

“But I’ve already got several suits.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Martin suddenly turned to look at a shop on the other side of the street. I followed his gaze to see a heavily adorned dress in the shop window.

It looked like a jeweler, so they probably weren’t selling dresses themselves, but they’d outfitted the shop window mannequin in a glittering dress, which they’d paired with several different pieces of jewelry.

“You need a dress,” Martin said.

I blinked several times.

Even if I ultimately did decide to go to the dance, I certainly wasn’t about to show up in women’s attire.

I’d already given the people a chance to see me in a dress during the class play. I hadn’t looked like a complete disaster, but I hadn’t looked good either. The joke just wasn’t good enough to warrant repeating.

Thinking about how difficult it was to pull off a dress gave me some respect for the love interests. They’d only shown up to the dance in dresses two years in a row, but they’d even upped their game in the second-year dance. It would be doing them a disservice to say that they had nerves of steel, because it went way beyond that—they had nerves of orichalcum.

But, anyway, even if I were to go to the dance in a dress, the biggest problem was that I’d need an escort...and there was just no way I’d find someone eccentric enough to be game for that.

Besides, wearing men’s clothes was much more comfortable—both physically and psychologically.

So, taking that all into account, I replied, “I dunno. Dresses are a bit too breezy for my tastes.”

“Breezy...?”

“Try one on sometime and you’ll see what I mean,” I teased.

Suddenly, an idea came to me.

“Ohh... I get it. If I get a dress, then you can wear it too.”

“Please don’t joke like that.”

I laughed.

Yep, that’s exactly what cross-dressing ought to look like, I thought as I mentally put Martin in a dress.

All of the love interests were ridiculously attractive, so they didn’t look out of place at all in dresses, nor did they feel an ounce of shame parading around in them. But the image of Martin in a dress felt much closer to what cross-dressing typically entailed—and his reaction much closer to how a typical man would feel about wearing one.

As I glanced at Martin’s pained expression through the corner of my eye, I decided not to bring up the dance again.

◇◇◇

My older brother and I were enjoying some tea together when I broke the news.

“What? You’re not going?”

“Nope.”

“But it’s the last school dance you’ll ever have!”

“I know.”

At this, my older brother suddenly stood up from his chair with a clatter.

Not that I had any right to point fingers, but I must say, I was a bit astonished by his poor manners.

I set my teacup down on its saucer and looked up at him.

“I’ll have the debutante ball right after I graduate, anyway. I’ve already done everything I wanted to at school, so I figure I can pass on this one,” I explained.

“You can’t mean that...”

At this, his shoulders slumped, and all of the strength seemed to leave him. He sat back down in his chair limply.

Then, sounding utterly disappointed, he muttered, “Once you get to be an adult, there are almost no opportunities to have parties where you can just relax with friends who are around your age.”

After considering this briefly, I cocked my head.

“I just don’t really see a need for parties in the first place,” I replied.

I didn’t know how many I’d have to attend in the future, but for me, the purpose of a party had never been to enjoy myself anyway.

Social events were exactly what they said on the tin: events where you socialized. To put it a bit more bluntly, they were work. They weren’t supposed to be opportunities to relax and enjoy yourself.

Besides, I’d enjoyed myself plenty already at the last two dances. I’d had to dance with not only a cross-dressing Christopher at the first one, but also a cadre of three other cross-dressing guys...but, hey, at least I’d gotten to enjoy the gleeful squeals of all of the girls who’d watched. And while last year’s dance had been a chaotic mess, it had also been the day that I’d crossed the finish line of winning the main character’s heart. So, that had been pretty satisfying.

Basically, I felt like I’d accomplished everything that I needed to. I’d had my fill, if you will.

My older brother must’ve realized that I wasn’t about to change my mind, because I saw his shoulders slump in disappointment.

“I guess the next time I’ll get to see you in a dress will be at your wedding, then...” he said sadly.

“Hey, chin up. There’s always the debutante ball, remember?”

“But won’t you be wearing your knight’s uniform?”

“No...” I lied.

“Lizzie...” he said, making it clear that he saw right through me.

If we’d been in a manga, the lag that followed would’ve taken up two whole panels.

Finally, I shrugged and said, “Well, what’s the harm, right?”

After giving me a wary look, he sighed and said, “I just feel like you should enjoy your student life to the fullest while you still can.”

“That’s what all the adults say.”

“Don’t you suppose that means you’ll say the same thing one day, when you’re an adult?”

At this, my eyes went wide.

“I imagine that the reason we all say that is because there are things we wish we’d done differently when we were younger.”

Well... Okay. You’ve probably got a point there, I found myself admitting.

I thought back to my previous life.

As an adult, I’d used to look at elementary school kids heading off to cram school and think, “Forget about that. Just go play with your friends!” I’d looked at middle schoolers and think, “Stop watching Y*uTube all the time and take advantage of this time to read as many books as you can!” I’d wanted to tell all the high schoolers who boasted ironically about how little they studied to shut up and hit the books. And university students? I’d wanted to shake them by the shoulders and tell them to forget about their part-time jobs. “You’ll be working your asses off once you get to the real world, so just go and enjoy a working holiday while you still can!” I’d wanted to yell.

Not that I ever would’ve appreciated those perspectives when I’d been those ages... But as an adult, I guessed those sentiments reflected how I wished I’d spent my own youth, in hindsight.

“I just don’t want you to have regrets once you’re older, Lizzie,” my brother said, looking me straight in the eyes with an earnest look on his face.

Since this was my second lifetime, I kind of felt like I was already an adult. But hearing my brother say that, I realized how childish everything I was saying must have sounded to the adults in this world. It felt like my young physicality was almost making me regress a bit mentally.

As kids, people probably had no idea what they’d later come to regret as adults.

At very least, considering that I hadn’t yet reached maturity in this life... I probably only knew about as much now as I did when I’d been eighteen in my past life.

“If you look back on this time when you’re all grown up...don’t you think you might regret not going to your third-year dance? If you’re not there in everyone’s memories of the night...don’t you think you might regret that?”

“Well, sure... But...”

I knew, logically, that my brother was right... But I still desperately fumbled for a way to argue with what he’d said.

Maybe my rebelliousness stemmed from already having lived a life of doing what I was told...or maybe it was just part and parcel of being young.

Finally, I landed on something: “But no one’s invited me.”

“Really?”

His words pierced straight through my heart. He wasn’t using his usual soft, kind voice with me; instead, his tone had a sharpness to it, like he could see straight through me.

I knew painfully well that my brother wasn’t the type of person to use a sharp tone or grill someone for no reason.

“Hasn’t anyone said, ‘Let’s go to the dance together’?” he pressed.

Right... I see what you’re getting at, I thought.

He was trying to tell me to cherish my friends.

“I...guess you’re right,” I said.

Suddenly, it felt like the pieces were falling into place.

This was my last school dance.

I’d spent a good deal of my school life trying to win the main character’s heart, and then trying (and succeeding) to achieve a friendship ending with her. And now, that school life was coming to an end.

Admittedly, it might have ended up feeling a little...anticlimactic if I didn’t tie a nice bow on things with this dance.

So I looked back into my older brother’s blue eyes—as blue as a cloudless, sunny sky—and said, “Thank you, big brother.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” he said, his expression softening as he shook his head. “Just the joy of knowing that you’ll be making happy memories is enough for me.”

All I could do was smile back awkwardly to hide how embarrassed I was.

Oh, big brother... No matter how old I get, you always know just how to win me over.

Afterword

This may seem like it’s a bit out of nowhere, but do you all have favorite characters, singers, or celebrities that you obsess over?

It feels like it’s become more mainstream for people to be fangirls or fanboys these days. It isn’t just nerds that live the fangirl-slash-fanboy life anymore—it’s something that everyone, even normies, can enjoy.

I’m no exception. I love doing fan things and throwing myself fully into supporting my favorite characters.

I’m more used to thinking of myself as a “supporter” rather than a “fan,” but I think they overlap a bit in that, in either case, it’s all about having fun following a celeb or a character with a special place in your heart.

Once, during a period that I was feeling pretty down, I just happened to get invited to a 3D live movie from a genre that I used to be really into. I decided to go, and I ended up having a blast.

I got so excited about every little part of it. It reignited my passion so much that I ended up going to see late-night screenings on my way home from work.

The catalyst was just a single screening that lasted only a few hours, but it was enough to save me. I got so obsessed that I no longer cared about all the stuff that had been weighing me down. That was one of the big experiences that taught me how powerful fandom can be.

To bring this back to Two-Bit Baddie, I wonder if everyone reading this series has their own favorite characters that they enjoy fangirling or fanboying over? Wouldn’t that be great? Really, I can’t imagine anything better.

Being a fan is invigorating and inspiring, but admittedly it takes a lot of time and effort (and money). I’m so grateful that people are willing to invest what limited time and energy they have into this series.

For me, my favorite characters are at once a part of my life, a part of my everyday experience, and a part of the precious moments I can get away from the daily grind.

I hope that Two-Bit Baddie can be a part of your lives too. I hope that you find yourselves thinking about it throughout your day-to-day activities, as well as enjoying it as a rare treat that you’ll forget all about tomorrow.

And I hope that you’ll be glad you spent your time and energy on it instead of regretting it, and that it can be the kind of story that gives back more than what you put into it.

While I’m talking about my fandoms, I’d like to give a big thank-you to God that an illustrator I’m obsessed with, Hayase Jyun, has breathed life into this world with such beautiful illustrations. I’m a fan for life.

Also on my list of obsessions are Gucche and Era Ichi, who just released volume 2 of the manga adaptation at the same time as this volume was published. It’s cute enough to repair DNA, if you ask me.

Neither this book nor the manga adaptation would have been possible without the support of our staff (the editorial department) and, above all, the support of all of our fans (all of you readers).

I see and appreciate each and every one of you, whether you’re in the arena seats, in the lower bowl, or in the upper bowl! Even those of you in the back too!

And with the biggest thanks to all of the people I obsess over, and all of you who obsess over my characters, I’ll leave this afterword here for today.