Prologue: The First Round, April

April first.

The day was finally here: Ryomei High School’s entrance ceremony, aka the day that would go down in history as the start of my high school debut.

In middle school, I had been what people would call a gloomy introvert. I was part of the go home club, and forget about having a girlfriend; I didn’t even have any friends. I was always alone.

I was jealous, green with envy. Of the popular kids smiling merrily in the center of class. Of the groupies flirting after school in the classroom with the girl I secretly thought was cute. So, I wanted to change my life in high school.

I’ll pull off a successful high school debut and secure myself a rainbow-colored youth! That’s why I purposefully chose a school far away from home. I think I look better than I did in middle school too. I lost a lot of weight thanks to my diet... Hmm, I’m still a little plump, though. I also ditched those lame glasses for contacts... But will this really be enough?

No, no, no! Don’t you wimp out. You decided you’d do this, remember? If I camouflage as an extrovert, it’ll all work out, even if my exterior falls short.

“Okay, let’s go!”

I boarded the train at the nearest unmanned station. The car rocked back and forth for a while, and then a girl wearing the same uniform as me got on. That looks like a brand-new uniform. Maybe she’s a first-year?

She also seemed to notice me, because she glanced in my direction. Our eyes locked. Then, she looked away as though nothing had happened.

An extrovert would probably chat her up, right? But I really don’t have the guts to strike up a conversation in the middle of a crowded train. My commute’s long because I chose a high school that’s far away, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

Having nothing better to do, I read a light novel until I reached my stop, Maebashi Station. Ryomei High School was a five-minute walk from there. As I walked along the road lined with cherry blossom trees, I found myself surrounded by more and more students wearing the same uniform as me. It was par for the course since we were all heading in the same direction. I had been somewhat anxious that I might get lost, but I could relax now. I just needed to follow everyone else, and I’d reach my destination.

“So this is Ryomei High, huh,” I said.

I’d been here to take the entrance exam, but it still felt unfamiliar. I’ll be coming here every day from now on.

When I walked through the main gate, there was a wall of bodies in front of the bulletin boards. I guess the class listings are posted there. Let’s get closer. My class is going to be a critical component to my high school debut. I can only pray that I’ll be with a good squad.

“Let’s see, my name is...”

When I scanned the listing for year one, class one, my eyes came to a halt at the name “Motomiya Miori.” I overheard the girls gossiping before we graduated, but it looks like she really did choose Ryomei. Miori was my childhood friend, and we had been really close in elementary school. However, we’d drifted apart in middle school.

“You shouldn’t hang out with someone like me!”

Or more precisely put, I had pushed her away, so Miori probably didn’t want to have anything to do with me either. I peeled my eyes away from her name and searched for mine. I found my name, Haibara Natsuki, listed under class two.

I’m glad I’m not in the same class as Miori. That would’ve been awkward. Plus, it’d be embarrassing to act like a different person in front of someone who knows what I was like in middle school. That would’ve made choosing a high school far away from home meaningless.

Suddenly, a loud voice rang out from right behind me. “Ah! Look, over there! Yaaay! Rei, Tatsu, we’re all in the same class!”

I turned around to see a girl whose joy seemed too big to be contained within her petite body.

“You don’t have to yell. I can hear you.”

“Come on. Uta can’t help being hyped up; she’s a high schooler now.”

The small girl was chatting with two boys who she seemed close to. I’m guessing they went to the same middle school.

“Tatsu, you’re happy too! Why’re you trying to act cool?”

“Huh? Why would I get worked up like you?” The boy called Tatsu was tall, solidly built, and kinda scary.

“Tatsuya, you’re such a tsundere,” said the handsome, slender boy with a soft smile. “That’s not in right now, you know.” He was the one the girl had called Rei.

I think we’re in the same class. Maybe I should talk to them. I hesitated and ultimately averted my gaze. I was hell-bent on doing this high school debut thing, but I’m super nervous... No, no, no! I can’t be chickening out. Let’s do this! If I don’t try to start conversations, things will be the same as they were in middle school. I’m an extrovert, so I need to wear a brighter, more energetic smile!

“U-Um!” When I turned around again, they were already gone.

Wait, it’s empty all of a sudden. Where’d everybody go?! I glanced at the time. It was already three minutes before the entrance ceremony would begin. Evidently, I had been brooding for a considerably long time.

***

Somehow, I made it in time for the entrance ceremony. After surviving the principal’s long-winded, boring speech, the students split up into their respective classrooms.

I’ll sit at my desk first. Who should I talk to? Did the kids who’re already chatting together like old friends go to the same middle school? Or have they hit it off already? I’m getting kinda impatient. I heard that interpersonal relationships in a new environment are contingent on the way you handle the beginning. According to my findings, the safest choice is to talk to someone else who’s alone during times like this.

“Um, do you have a sec?” I said to the girl sitting at a nearby desk. I’m nervous about talking to a girl, but I need to get used to it if I’m going to make my high school debut work out.

“Huh? Sure... Do you need something?” She raised an eyebrow quizzically.

She was looking at me like I was someone to be suspicious of, so I forced my best smile.

“I’m Haibara Natsuki. What’s your name?”

There was a pause, and then she replied, “I’m Fujiwara Kanata. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. We’re in the same class, so I hope we get along.”

“Um... Yeah, thanks.”

And the conversation died just like that. What now? What do people talk about when they’ve just met?

“Wh-Whoa. Isn’t that girl super cute?!” someone suddenly yelled from the classroom entrance.

I glanced at the door. The voice belonged to the petite girl I’d seen earlier. For some reason, her eyes were wide open in surprise.

“Oh, um, are you talking about me?” asked a girl with flaxen hair standing directly in the short girl’s line of sight.

“Whoa,” I murmured.

It’s true that she’s cute. She’s got a ridiculously gorgeous face. How did I not see her before? A girl as beautiful as an idol is in the same room as me, and I didn’t even notice! My heart’s racing just looking at her. Is this what they call love at first sight? At any rate, my motivation to execute my high school debut has shot through the roof. I want to get close to that girl, and if possible, I want to date her. Which means this isn’t the time to be nervous! Let’s get pumped!

“I’m Haibara Natsuki! My hobbies are reading and watching movies. I’m gonna join the basketball club. Oh, my dream is to make one hundred friends! I really want to get to know you all! Nice to meetcha!” I enthusiastically said during class introductions.

I’m super stoked for my high school life to start!

Chapter 1: The Second Spring of the Second Round

April first.

Starting today, I’m a second-year. One year went by so fast.

Half of the cherry blossom trees that lined the familiar path to Ryomei had already lost their petals. When I reached the school, there was a crowd of students in front of the bulletin boards.

The new class listings must be posted. It’s the same spectacle I witnessed last year too. Now then, I wonder how we got split up. There have been a lot of changes from the first round, so the second-year homerooms are probably a lot different from what I remember. My heart pounded as I approached.

“Natsu, over here!” I heard Uta call out.

I turned in the direction of her voice to see her spiritedly waving at me. She’s a ball of energy even first thing in the morning. “Morning, Uta.”

“Mm-hmm! Long time no see!” she replied.

“Man, it really has been. What was it, two weeks?”

Tatsuya, Reita, Nanase, Hikari, Serika, and Miori were all gathered around Uta. Besides Serika, who I had seen at band practices, and Hikari, my girlfriend, I hadn’t seen the others in two weeks. They’d all had extracurriculars over spring break, and I had resolved to take the band seriously. Spring break was already short enough as it was, and so had gone by without many opportunities for us to hang out.

“Oh, Natsuki-kun, morning!” Hikari said.

“Hey, morning. What’s the class split looking like?” I greeted her back and squinted at the bulletin board. It’s hard to read the list from this far away, huh.

“Pretty much what we expected,” Miori answered.

In the third semester of their first year at Ryomei High School, students elected to take either the humanities or STEM track. From the second year onwards, the humanities kids were assigned to classes one or two, while the STEM kids were in classes three or four. In short, since I had chosen the STEM track, I was either in class three or four. Like me, Miori had also chosen STEM, so there was a fifty percent chance we would be in the same class.

“Are we in the same class?” I asked.

“Begrudgingly, yes.” Miori shrugged with a sigh.

“You’re in the same class as your childhood friend. Don’t look so openly unhappy about it,” I shot back. Then again, feeling awkward about being in the same class as the person who rejected you is only natural. I need you in my high school life, though, so put up with it again this time.

“We’re with you too, Natsuki.” Reita placed his hand on my shoulder.

“And by we, you mean...” I said.

“Yep. I’m there too. Let’s have another good year.” Tatsuya stood next to Reita and flashed me his pearly whites. Apparently, all of us who’d chosen STEM had been lucky enough to land in class three.

“Thank god! I don’t know what I would’ve done if I was alone.” I was genuinely relieved. I still hadn’t overcome my shyness. By the way, in the first round, Reita and Tatsuya had chosen humanities, so we’d been in different classes during our second year.

“And what about our humanities team?” I asked Hikari, who was standing next to me.

“I’m in class one. Serika-chan and I are in the same class,” she replied.

“Heh heh heh. Now Hikari will be mine,” Serika teased me, deadpan as always. “I’m not gonna give her back to you, Natsuki.” She hugged Hikari’s arm.

“H-Hey!” Hikari yelped. “Serika-chan?”

“Ahhh! Her arm is so soft and plush...” Serika said.

“I haven’t gained weight! I haven’t gained any weight, okay?! Don’t get the wrong idea!”

“Jiggle. Jiggle.”

“No touching my chest without permission!” Hikari cried, her face bright red. Her pleas rolled off of Serika like water off a duck’s back.

I wasn’t under the impression that they were that close, but they both have stellar communication skills, so it’s probably okay... Hold up. Please stop touching Hikari’s chest in front of the guys. Adolescent boys are sensitive! I’m glad I was the one who saw. I’m her boyfriend, so it’s okay.

“Excuse me, Natsuki-kun?”

It was supposed to be okay, but Hikari was giving me the stink eye for some reason. Right, let’s get back on topic. I looked away from her and faced a random direction. “Uhhh, so if these two are in class one, then...”

“Me and Yui-Yui are in class two!” Uta cheerfully responded.

“Unfortunately, team humanities was split up,” Nanase said. For whatever reason, she was patting Uta’s head.

Is she trying to compensate for her Hikari deficiency with Uta? Is she okay? Uta doesn’t seem to mind being petted by Nanase, though... Eh, guess it’s fine.

“Hey, it’s still better than a three-one split!” Uta said.

“That’s true,” Nanase conceded.

Truth be told, that was the future I had dreaded the most when we became second-years. I could just picture myself biting my handkerchief in frustration as I watched the others get closer in the class next door. I had been this close to falling back into a drab and gray youth.

“By the way, who else is in class three?” I asked.

“Why don’t you look with your own eyes?” Miori pointed at the bulletin board with her chin.

C-Cold. “Awww, but it’s super packed around the board.”

“It’s better to check the list yourself, at least once.”

I guess she has a point. Left with no other choice, I pushed through the horde of students and approached the bulletin board until I was finally at a distance where I could read the names.

“Let’s see, year two class three is...” The students’ names were listed in order of the Japanese syllabary.

Shinohara... Oh, nice, Mei’s in our class too. His girlfriend, Funayama-san, is also with us. I’m glad we’re in the same class. There are also several of my classmates from last year on the list, like Fujiwara and Onozawa-san. Is this group different from my first round? Unsurprisingly, I don’t remember. But I do know who’s missing from class three. For example, I should’ve been in the same class as Okajima-kun again, but he’s in class four now. History has changed because of my actions. I feel kinda bad.

Let’s organize all the info. Class one has Serika and Hikari. Class two, Uta and Nanase. Class three has me, Tatsuya, Reita, Miori, Fujiwara, Mei, and Funayama-san. Sorry, Okajima-kun, but this is pretty much my ideal class.

As for what’s changed compared to my first round, Nanase’s in class two instead of four; Reita’s in class three instead of one; Tatsuya’s in three instead of one; and Hikari’s in class one instead of three, I think? Those four chose different tracks, after all. Everyone else is where I remember them to be, but I can’t say for sure.

I was about to slip away from the bulletin board when a voice called out to me. “’Sup, Haibara. What class are you in?”

“Class three... Oh, it’s you, Hino.”

“What do you mean by that?! Aren’t we former classmates?!”

“Probably?”

“Why aren’t you sure?!”

“See you later.”

“Hold up!” Hino said. “You’re supposed to ask me what class I’m in!”

“Oh... What class’re you in?”

“Class two! Come on, be more interested in me!”

Unable to hold it in anymore, I cracked a smile. Hino’s shoulders slumped in exhaustion.

“Sorry, I was joking,” I said. He was good at playing along and responded well to my antics, so I couldn’t help pulling his leg all the time. We’d really warmed up to each other, but now we’re in different classes. I’m sad, but there’s nothing I can do about it. “You’re in class two? Then you’re with Uta and Nanase.”

“Yeah. And you’re in the same class as Kanata, right? Take care of her for me.” Hino waved as he left.

Take care of her? There’s no cause for concern when it comes to Fujiwara. She’s the class leader. He’s more of a worrywart than I thought. For how flippant he acts, he’s actually the devoted type.

Hino wasn’t the only former classmate to stop me; several others also called out to me. After we verified each other’s classes and had a quick chat, I broke away from the bulletin board and returned to the others.

Heh heh heh! I have a place to return to—what a joyful thing. I never had anything like that in the past.

“Heeey, Natsuki-kun. Did you get a look?” Hikari asked.

She, Uta, Nanase, Tatsuya, and Reita were waiting for me. Serika and Miori had joined up with other kids formerly from class 1-1—namely Hasegawa’s clique—and were chatting.

Hasegawa was hugging Miori as she said something like “I’m sooo gonna miss you!”

Huh? Why are they so close? Miori, that’s the girl who threw water on you in the middle of winter, remember? I struggle to understand their relationship, but I guess a lot happened in class one. After the Reita incident settled down, I saw them together often.

“We’re second-years now, huh,” Tatsuya said in a profound tone.

“Right? It was just yesterday when we enrolled,” Hikari said.

“Now that’s just not true, Hikari,” Nanase retorted.

“You perceive time just like a granny!” Uta’s expression was pure and innocent, but her riposte was as brutal as if she’d just stabbed her friend.

“What?! I’m a high school girl full of beans, though!” Hikari replied.

I joined in. “Full of beans? It’s been years since I heard someone say that.”

“Jeez, not you too, Natsuki-kun!”

It was our usual mundane banter, but there was a certain loneliness in the air that felt different than usual.

The six of us won’t spend time in the same classroom together anymore. I knew this would happen when we had to choose between humanities and STEM, but it’s finally hitting me now that we’re actually second-years. This doesn’t mean farewell, though. We still have two more years of high school life. And we’ll hang out many times after that too. That’s why there’s no need to be sad!

I put on a smile and suggested, “Let’s still hang out as a group every once in a while even though we’re in different classes. We can get together during lunch break or something.”

“Hard agree!” Uta’s hand instantly shot up, but then she tilted her head to the side. “But where should we meet up?”

“If we gather during lunch, then the cafeteria should be reliable,” I said.

“Some of us might need to buy lunch too,” Nanase added.

“We eat in the cafeteria anyway, so swing by whenever you feel like it,” Tatsuya said as he scratched his head.

“Us guys are in the same class, so we’ll be just like before,” Reita said in agreement.

“In that case, I just need to link up with Uta-chan and Yuino-chan and head to the cafeteria!” Hikari said, a bright smile blooming across her face.

It made me happy that everyone else wanted to gather just like I did. I had formed irreplaceable bonds that I hadn’t managed to in my first round.

“How should we contact each other?”

“Let’s just keep using our RINE group, Natsuki’s Fam.”

We continued jabbering away as we headed for the school entrance. The bulletin board was wide, and the first-year classes were also posted next to the second-years’ listing. New students wearing brand-new uniforms were lumped around it. It’s kind of heartwarming to see them like that. We must’ve looked just like that last year too.

“Heyo, senpai! I enrolled, no sweat!” Yamano came running up to me from the throng of first-years.

“Morning, Yamano. Congrats on making it,” I told her.

Yamano was in the same band as me. Starting today, she was also a first-year student at Ryomei.

“What d’ya think? Behold, Saya-chan’s new uniform! How do I look?!” She twirled in front of me to show off her brand-new uniform.

It’s a little baggy, but that’s probably in anticipation of any growth spurts. “It looks good on you,” I complimented her candidly.

She burst into a smile. “Heh heh! Thank you very much!”

She’s as hyper as always. Well, she is a high schooler starting today, after all.

“And good morning to all of you too!” Yamano bowed to my friends behind me.

“Huh? Yamano, do you know them all?” I asked.

“Yup! We chatted back when Miori-senpai was missing.”

Ohhh. That makes sense. That happened when Reita and I went to search for Miori.

Hikari was watching me with a small frown as I conversed with Yamano.

“Wh-What is it?” I asked.

She turned away. “Nothing. I was just thinking that you two are very close. That’s all.”

Welp, looks like I’ll need to cheer her up later!

“Saaaya! Congrats on making it in!” Uta exclaimed.

“Awww! Thanks a ton! I’m pumped!”

Meanwhile, Yamano and Uta excitedly celebrated our underclassman’s success. At some point, Uta had given her a nickname.

“I can’t wait to be a high schooler!” Yamano said.

“It’s not going to be all fun, though. You have to study suuuper hard here!” Uta warned.

“Why’re you killing my vibe all of a sudden?!”

“It’s a senpai’s duty to break it to you.”

It’s sorta funny to see Uta acting like an upperclassman when she’s smaller than Yamano.

“Natsu? Were you thinking something rude just now?” Uta asked.

“Nope, uh-uh. What makes you think that?” I replied.

“It’s written all over your face that you think it’s hilarious that I’m acting like an upperclassman!”

“Did you read my mind?!”

“I knew it! Just as I suspected!” She glared at me.

Reita laughed blithely. “Natsuki, your face is always such an open book.”

And yet, I can’t tell what other people are thinking no matter how hard I examine their faces. What an unfair world!

A warm smile spread across Yamano’s face as she beheld our boisterous banter. “It’s a little reassuring to see all your faces.”

Reassuring? I thought she was acting sorta different than usual... “Don’t tell me, are you nervous?”

“Of course I am! I don’t have any friends here. How could I not be nervous?” she pouted.

Hikari blinked at her in surprise. “Huh? Really? No one from your middle school is here?”

“Not a single one. At least, none of the first-years,” Yamano replied.

“Yamano’s from Mizumi just like me. It’s a long way from Ryomei,” I explained.

“Oh, that’s right,” Hikari said.

Miori and I were the only ones from Mizumi in our year, so it was no surprise Yamano was the only one in hers.

“Saaaya, it’s you we’re talking about! I know you’ll be A-OK!” Uta gave Yamano an encouraging slap on the back.

“I’m pumped! Thank you very much.” The corners of Yamano’s eyes softened.

Huh, she really is fifteen. Yamano tends to say some pretty mature things, so sometimes I forget she’s so young.

“Senpai? Wh-What’s up with you?”

She’s pretty philosophical, and she can even be strangely cold at times. But now she’s a true-to-life high school student, getting nervous and uneasy like everyone else.

While such thoughts were running through my mind, Yamano studied me closely. “Oh no, did I sweep you off your feet?” she teased me with a giant smirk. “But, senpai, you mustn’t fall for me! You’ve already got Hoshimiya-senpai, remember?”

And now she’s back to normal. Humans have many different sides. I turned away from Yamano and looked at the clock in front of the school building. We should get going. “Right then, shall we head to class?”

“Huh?! You’re ignoring me?! Even though your super cute underclassman is teasing you?!” Yamano cried in astonishment.

Please understand; I don’t want to react weirdly. I mean, Hikari is staring holes into me! I’m scared. Her gaze is going to crush me.

Yamano, oblivious to the pressure Hikari was exuding, glanced at the clock and then yelled in a panic. “Oh crud, the entrance ceremony’s going to start soon!”

She bid us a hasty farewell, and then the rest of us headed to the second-year classrooms. At Ryomei, first-years were on the first floor, second-years on the second, and third-years on the third.

“Our rooms being on a different floor gives school a new feeling!” Uta said.

“I might go to the first-years’ floor for a while by accident,” Hikari worried.

When we reached our floor, the new second-years were hanging out in the hallway in front of the classrooms. We weaved through the hubbub and headed to our respective places.

“See you guys later!”

“Bye-byyye!”

“Uta, we should get going too.”

We parted ways with the girls—first Hikari in front of class one, then Uta and Nanase at class two. We three guys entered class three.

“Wassup!” Tatsuya said roughly to the entire room. His friends returned the greeting.

“Oh, it’s Tatsuya.”

“Morning! Here’s to another year!”

That was a natural move only a jock could pull off. I can’t copy that. Despite how boisterous it was inside the classroom, we were managing to attract attention. Well, all three of us are together, so of course we’d stand out. A lot happened, after all. I do feel sorry about being a troublemaker.

“Natsuki, over here.”

While I was apologizing internally, I heard my name being called from the back of the room. I turned towards the direction of the voice to see Miori beckoning us over. Fujiwara was next to her too. Were they friends? The girl community mystifies me.

“Morning. Another year in the same class, huh.” Fujiwara raised her hand in a small gesture of hello as the three of us approached.

“Fujiwara-san, if you’re here, then I can rest easy this year too,” Reita said with a smile.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked.

“You’ll put the class in order, and we won’t have to lift a finger,” he replied.

“Don’t treat me like some handy tool!”

Miori watched Reita and Fujiwara’s friendly exchange out of the corner of her eye and asked, “So, Natsuki, what do you think of our new class? Think you can warm up to everybody?”

“Why am I the only one you’re asking that? Aren’t we all starting off on the same foot?”

“The rest of us will be fine, but you’re shy, remember?”

“Don’t look down on me! I have tons of friends with friends in spite of that.” In the end, my circle of friends hadn’t expanded much over the course of an entire year. There were a lot of people who one-sidedly knew of me, though, for better or for worse.

“And what’s that supposed to do for you?”

“Nothing, but it’s fine. I have Tatsuya and Reita!” I’ve chosen to have fewer friends with deeper bonds over more friends with shallower ones!

“Your Tatsuya-kun is talking to his other friends, though.”

I looked in the direction Miori pointed to. Tatsuya was happily chatting with a friend from the basketball team.

“Yo, Kijima. We’re in the same class this year!”

“’Sup! We’re the only ones here on the boys’ basketball team, though.”

Hey, Tatsuya! Don’t just ditch me! Wait, am I the only one who thought we were tight? Am I just one of many friends to Tatsuya? What should I do about this overwhelming sadness washing over me?

Kijima noticed my crestfallen state and called out to me. “What’s with you, Haibara? You look like a dog abandoned by his owner.”

He’s so nice. Kijima-kun had been in Class 1-4, and we had briefly talked in the middle of our match during the sports meet last year. Needless to say, I also knew him because I had been on the basketball team in my first round.

“He’s probably stressing over whether he can hit it off with his new classmates,” Tatsuya said, teasing me.

Kijima stared at me in surprise. “Huh? Is Haibara that kinda guy?”

“Of course I’d be anxious in a new class. Is it that unexpected?” I asked.

“I thought you were more, you know... ‘I’m the best! Follow me!’ That kinda character,” he replied.

“How’d you get that idea?!!!” Those types of characters only appear in battle manga! My reputation has strayed way too far from reality.

“He looks all that, but he’s a phony on the inside. He went through a high school glow up, you know,” Miori said, chiming in on our conversation with a smirk.

“Huh?” Kijima-kun seemed to remember something and then proceeded to drop a wild remark. “But, Motomiya, didn’t you have a crush on Haibara?”

“Bffft!” Tatsuya spurted, unable to hold in his laughter.

Miori’s face turned bright red. “Y-You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone!”

Kijima-kun gave her a weird look. “Forget the promise; you’re the one who announced it to the world on Minsta,” he pointed out.

A very fair argument. We live in an age where people publicize everything.

“But there’s a tacit agreement that you don’t bring it up in front of me!” Miori countered, eyes bleary.

“So people are just treating your embarrassing past as the elephant in the room, huh.” Kijima-kun’s blunt comment sent Miori reeling.

The blow rendered her utterly silent, and she slumped over her desk. “I yield... End me already,” she groaned in defeat.

I feel kinda bad for her, but it’ll be hell on earth if I try to defend her.

“Hey, Kijima. Lay off,” Tatsuya said.

“Huh? Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Sorry,” Kijima-kun answered in a confused tone.

Apparently, Kijima-kun is the insensitive type. Not that I’m one to talk.

“What’s wrong, Miori? The new semester’s just started, and you’re already down in the dumps,” said a tall girl who’d come over when she saw Miori flopped on top of her desk. She had short black hair and an androgynous face, but she had the curves of a woman.

Frankly put, she has huge boobs.

Miori looked up sulkily. “Oh, it’s you, Mina.” Then, she glowered at me. “Natsuki, what are you looking at?”

“I-I wasn’t looking anywhere!” They might be bigger than Hikari’s... Nope, I wasn’t thinking anything like that!

The girl didn’t seem to mind what Miori had said and continued to speak. “You’re Haibara-kun, right? I heard all about you,” she drawled.

“Oh, yeah. Hello...” She has a pretty unique way of speaking. Her cadence is relaxed, and it’s pleasant on the ears. I’d never spoken to her before, but I had seen her around since we were in the same grade. “You’re on the girls’ basketball team with Miori, right?”

“Yeah. I used to be in Class 1-3. I’m Kurahashi Mina. Nice to meet you,” she replied.

“She’s a carefree girl. Be nice to her,” Miori added.

Just like that, a new community was gradually forming. I surveyed our classroom. The students had split up into about seven groups and were chatting away. It was a familiar sight that reminded me of how interpersonal relationships are contingent on your treatment of the beginning.

Even if you have a lot of friends in your first year, you’ll be left behind if you’re absent on the first day back at school... On top of Reita, Tatsuya, and Miori with me, we’ve also got three more faces: Fujiwara, Kijima-kun, and Kurahashi-san. Is this going to be the group I normally hang out with?

“Um, Natsuki.”

But is it just me, or are they ignoring me and chatting among themselves?

“Natsuki, earth to Natsuki.”

Wait, does this new group not need me or something?

“Natsuki! Hello!” someone suddenly yelled right into my ear.

“Whoa! What?!” I jerked around to see a petite boy with glasses. It was a face I knew very well. “O-Oh, it’s you, Mei. Can’t you say hello like a regular person?”

“But I’ve been calling your name for a while... I get it; I don’t have much of a presence.” He had an awfully faraway look in his eyes.

Now that he mentions it, I do feel like someone’s been saying my name. “A-Anyway, Mei, we’re in the same class!”

“Based on your reaction, you forgot about me, didn’t you?” He fixed me with a gloomy stare.

“Of course not! How could I forget a fellow bandmate?!”

Despite my frantic insistence, Mei’s expression remained doubtful. “It’s fine. I have a weak presence,” he muttered sadly.

“Believe me! I only forgot about you a little! Just a teeny, tiny bit!”

“You don’t just forget about someone a little!”

While we were bandying words, my gaze suddenly locked with the girl standing next to Mei.

“G-Good morning. Long time no see,” she said nervously. She was Mei’s girlfriend, Funayama-san.

“Funayama-san, morning. Here’s to another good year,” I greeted her gently. During our stint on the interclass sports meet committee, we’d warmed up to each other somewhat. “Come to think of it, all of the sports meet committee members from last year are in the same class now.”

“Oh, you’re right. We were all in different classes last year...” Funayama-san blinked in surprise and then smiled. “What an amazing coincidence.”

“Shizuki-chan, we’re in the same class!” Miori exclaimed. She’d left Reita and the others to join us when she noticed Funayama-san.

“I’m relieved that I’m in the same class as you all,” Mei said.

“I know, right. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had no friends in my class. I was so stressed,” I said in a knowing voice.

Miori smirked at us introverts. “You’re glad to be with Natsuki? More like you’re glad to be in the same class as your girlfriend this year.”

“P-Please don’t tease me! And of course I am!” Mei admitted honestly, despite his embarrassment.

Funayama-san’s cheeks flushed red.

They’ve been dating for over half a year now, yet they still feel like a young and innocent couple... I’m not in a position to judge, though. I shouldn’t tease them.

Reita and the others soon came over as well.

“You’re Natsuki’s bandmate, Shinohara-kun, right? I’m Shiratori Reita. Nice to meet you.” He held his hand out.

Mei accepted his handshake in a panic. “Oh, yes! I-It’s nice to meet you!”

“Funayama-san, you used to be in class three, right? If it’s okay with you, I’d love to chat,” Fujiwara said, guiding Funayama-san into her circle.

Fujiwara is as thoughtful as ever. She’s always keeping a sharp eye on her surroundings. I’d like to use her as reference.

And so, that was how my new class friend group was formed.

“...Let’s have a good year,” Reita said.

The rest of us echoed back similar sentiments. I miss Hikari, Uta, and Nanase, but I’m also looking forward to new friendships. I’m a little anxious, but—somehow—I think I’ll manage to get through this new year too!

***

Our classes today were a breeze, consisting of an introduction by our new homeroom teacher and a breakdown of what we’d be learning this year. That, combined with the mild spring weather, meant the classroom was enveloped in a relaxed atmosphere. Frankly put, I was extremely sleepy, but I managed to survive.

After school, everyone disappeared to their extracurriculars. I wished I could say we had band practice today too, but we lacked Yamano because first-years had been dismissed in the morning. Then again, it would’ve been cruel to throw them straight into club activities on their first day at a new school. To begin with, open observation for clubs didn’t start until tomorrow, so first-years couldn’t sign up yet. Hence, I’d taken a shift at Café Mares today.

“Heeey, Mei. Let’s go to work,” I called out to my colleague.

“Okay. Give me a sec!” Mei scurried over once he’d finished packing his belongings. The two of us often worked the same shifts since we both had band practice. “You know, Natsuki, being in the same class as you really does feel novel.”

“That goes for me too. I’m still not used to it... Oh, did you want to walk home with Funayama-san?”

“It’s okay. Shizuki has a club meeting today.”

“Whoa, since when are you two on a first-name basis?”

“You didn’t need to point it out! And we’re dating, remember?!”

“Anyway, Funayama-san’s in a club? I had absolutely no idea.”

“She’s in the literature club.”

“Huh? Then she’s with Hikari.”

“Apparently, she’s friends with Hoshimiya-san.”

What? This is news to me. It sure is a small world, huh.

“Oh yeah, isn’t Nanase-san on the same shift today?” he asked.

“Yeah. It’d be nice if we could meet up before we leave, but— Oh, she’s right there.”

As soon as we exited our classroom, we saw Tatsuya and Nanase chatting amicably in the hallway. They’re as close as always.

“Oh, Haibara-kun.” Nanase lifted her hand up to chest height and gave me a small wave when she spotted me.

Mm-hmm, my oshi is cute today too. But, something is missing. “Don’t you mean onii-chan?”

Flustered, Nanase drew close to me and, in a hushed tone, complained, “Could you be quiet about that? There are other people around!”

“So it’d be fine if no one else was around?” I asked.

“I’m this close to getting genuinely angry, Haibara-kun.”

“Aw, I’m not trying to make fun of you. I just wanted you to call me onii-chan is all...”

“That’s even worse!”

I might be toast.

“Is something wrong?”

Tatsuya and Mei shot us puzzled looks, since the two of us had suddenly begun whispering to each other.

“I-It’s nothing.” Nanase cleared her throat and stepped away from me. However, she silently pressured me with a look that said, “You better not blab.”

I know—I know. I’m your onii-chan, after all.

Sensing the awkward mood, Mei changed the subject. “Nagiura-kun, Nanase-san, what were you two chatting about?”

“Just some small talk. We were telling each other about our new classes,” she answered.

“Right. I told her that I think we’re going to have a fun time in ours. You guys agree, yeah?” Tatsuya said.

“Yeah, I’ve made some new friends too. What about you, Nanase?” I asked.

“I don’t have any particular complaints. Uta introduced me to many people. That girl is extraordinarily well-connected. To be honest, I’m a bit fatigued, but there’s no way around that on the first day.” Nanase smiled wryly. She was like putty in Uta’s hands.

“Nanase, you’re working today too, right?” I asked. I believe today’s shift is the three of us and Kirishima-san. The usual crowd.

“Yes. We should get going or else we’ll be late,” she said.

“See ya. I should head to practice.” Tatsuya waved goodbye and left in the direction of the club building.

The three of us descended the stairs and went outside through the main entrance.

“Oh yeah, apparently, we’re due for a raise.” Nanase broke the auspicious news to us.

“Wait, really?” I asked.

“We reach our one-year mark soon, so I was told we’re going to get a fifty-yen raise,” she said.

A fifty-yen raise? That’ll change my monthly income significantly. I might be able to get that effector I had given up on!

“D-Does that include me?!” Mei asked with expectant eyes.

Nanase giggled and shrugged. “You started half a year after us, so not yet.”

“Aw man...” He slumped forward in an exaggerated fashion.

His reactions are as amusing as ever. “Dang, has it been a year already?”

“Yes. Inviting you was the correct decision,” Nanase said.

“You took the words right out of my mouth. The café has such a great environment that I’d want to work there forever,” I said. It’s not just Nanase and Mei; I’ve gotten close to the manager and the other employees too. I’m comfortable there. Plus, I enjoy cooking.

“Thanks to this job, I’ve gotten much better at talking to people,” Mei said. “I used to be really anxious, and I couldn’t make any friends in the beginning. It’s all thanks to you, Natsuki.” He suddenly paused and then looked at me. “Wait, doesn’t this mean that I have to thank you for how my high school life has turned out? I could only join the band thanks to you too... And I’m dating Shizuki thanks to you...”

“No way, that’s not true,” I said.

“It is. After everything you’ve done for me, I owe you for life.”

I was just trying to find a bassist for our band, and Funayama-san had a crush on Mei from the get-go. I really didn’t do much. So please stop praying to me.

“Dear God, Buddha, and Natsuki-sama...” he began to mutter.

Fearing my apotheosis was imminent, I forced a change in subject. “N-Nanase! How’s piano been going lately?”

“Progress has been smooth. I’m taking it one small step at a time, but I plan to challenge myself on the big stage.”

After Nanase had overcome her mental barrier at the school music festival, she had continued to face the piano. That single success didn’t necessarily mean she had surmounted her trauma in its entirety, though, so she was cautiously and gradually increasing the frequency of her onstage appearances while consulting her parents and doctor. However, recently she had also been upping the scale of her performances. Even without our help, she would be fine.

“I can play the piano again thanks to you, Haibara-kun.”

“Nah, it’s a result of your efforts. I just lent you a hand.”

I’ve been getting praised a lot lately. To be honest, it’s making me uneasy—or maybe guilty is a better word. Everything I do is to achieve my own rainbow-colored youth. As a result, I’ve ended up making positive contributions to other people’s lives, but those were merely secondary side effects of my main goal.

***

The next day after school.

The club observation period for new students had begun, making the halls livelier than usual. Man, I was walking around looking at clubs with Tatsuya and company around this time last year too. How nostalgic.

Mei and I headed to the light music club to find that it was bustling with freshmen hoping to observe our activities.

“Oh, they’re really going at it,” I said.

“Is Armadillo Tank playing today?” Mei asked.

The clubroom had good soundproofing, but the door was left open today, and we could hear music streaming out from inside. During the beginning of the year, the light music club played welcome concerts for new students. Armadillo Tank, a band of third-years led by the club president, was performing. When we peeked inside the room, the existing club members were acting as hype men in the front row while the freshmen observed from the back. Incidentally, Armadillo Tank was the band that had performed before us at last year’s school festival.

The sound of Unison Square Garden’s “Sakura no Ato (All Quartets Lead to The?)” filled the air. It was a fast-paced song with a complex chord progression loaded with syncopation, but they were playing it flawlessly. Shikano-senpai, the club president, had an especially incredible sense of rhythm.

“Is it just me, or have they improved a lot?!” I exclaimed. This song is super hard.

“According to the club president, they were inspired by our performance and started practicing more,” Mei explained.

We were chatting and watching our upperclassmen play when a voice suddenly called out to us.

“E-Excuse me! You’re Haibara-senpai, right?”

I turned around to see four girls who looked like new students. One of them stepped forward, fixing me with a nervous stare.

I nodded. “Y-Yeah, I am, uh...?”

Her face lit up. “I knew it! I saw you play at the school festival last year! You were really cool!”

I’m glad to receive a compliment, but you’re, um, way too close. I took a step back, and she took one step forward. Wait, chill out a sec!

“Karin, work it!”

“Go get him, girl. Woo-hoo!”

The other three girls cheered her on with high-pitched voices. Please stop! I can’t match the energy of new students... The most a fake extrovert like me can do is smile politely.

“I didn’t get to watch you live, but I saw you on YouTube!”

Ah. She’s talking about that video that went viral without my knowledge. Just seeing the view count on it didn’t feel real, but now that I’ve met people who’ve actually watched it, it’s suddenly sinking in that we popped off.

“I want to give a concert like that too!”

In their excitement, the four of them surrounded and closed in on me.

Just then, the song ended. “Hey, girls in the back! Don’t get so excited that you forget about the show!” Armadillo Tank’s vocalist, Umahashi-senpai, smiled wryly.

Realizing how rude they were being, the first-years who had surrounded me hastily lowered their heads in apology. When Armadillo Tank started playing their next song, the girls peeled away from me and paid attention to the concert.

They’re really good girls. I hope they join the light music club.

“Dang, senpai, you’re popular.” Yamano had popped up next to me without me noticing. While Armadillo Tank played, we chatted in close proximity.

“I didn’t expect the first-years to know about us,” I said.

“Same here, but apparently you guys are pretty famous now. It’s probably because everyone’s curious about the school they’re going to attend. They must’ve looked up what being a student here would be like and stumbled upon the school festival YouTube video.”

Ohhh. That makes sense. No wonder I felt like I was getting a lot of stares from the first-years! I thought I was just being overly self-conscious, but it seems I was mistaken.

“I bet the majority of this year’s light music club applicants are here because of your guys’ performance,” Yamano said.

“I did notice that we have a lot of observers. You really think that’s it?” I asked.

At a glance, I estimated over twenty first-years had come to see the concert. Though we had a bigger room than other clubs, if any more showed up, we would be like sardines in a can. Our club currently had seven third-years and twelve second-years. It was a good thing we had so many aspiring members, but if we gained too many new faces, we’d get less time to practice in the clubroom and the second music room.

“Haibara-kun, hello. It sure is packed this year,” Haruyama-kun, vocalist of the second-year band the Clock Ups, said to me.

Though we were in the same club, we rarely interacted. We were, after all, in different classes.

“Hey. Are the Clock Ups playing tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yep. You guys should’ve put on a welcome concert for the new students too,” he said.

“One of those new students is going to join our band, so that would’ve been iffy,” I replied.

“I would’ve been fine doing it,” Yamano muttered next to me, but Haruyama-kun didn’t seem to have heard her.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Your band’s going to join the club’s practice rotation, right?” he asked.

“We plan to,” I replied. “Please squeeze us in.”

After Iwano-senpai had left and we had recruited Yamano, we’d been practicing at a studio a little ways away from school since she wasn’t yet affiliated with Ryomei. It had put our band in an awkward position.

“At any rate, it’s going to get cramped with so many members,” I said.

“Yeah, the clubroom can only fit so many people. Do you think we’re going to hold tryouts or something?” he said.

“We don’t have to,” Serika interjected, cutting into our conversation without hesitation. “The bandwagoners will drop out immediately.”

Armadillo Tank’s concert ended right then, and the first-years flocked Serika.

“It’s Hondo-senpai!”

“What?! The one that runs Serika Channel?!”

“It’s her in the flesh! Um, would you shake my hand?”

She’s far more popular than me. Then again, her channel’s got forty thousand subscribers. Anyone eyeing the light music club will have checked her out.

“A handshake? Eh, sure, why not.” Despite the puzzlement evident on Serika’s face, she still managed to look cool.

“Um, Natsuki.” Someone tapped my shoulder.

I turned to see Mei there. To put it more accurately, he had been next to me the entire time.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“No one’s talking to me...” A sad reality stood right before me. “Even though I’m also a member of Mishle...”

The new school year had just begun, but he was already shrouded in a dark aura.

“Right, let’s get practicing,” I said.

“Don’t ignore me!” he cried.

Come on, what am I supposed to say?! “You’re usually so confident about your weak presence, though.”

“I am, but it still makes me miserable every now and then,” Mei wept.

I dragged him along, and together with Serika and Yamano, we headed to the second music room.

“We’re practicing as part of the club starting today!” Yamano merrily skipped down the hall.

“You should greet all the upperclassmen later,” I said.

“Awww, but that’s such a pain in the butt,” she groaned.

“Don’t be like that. You’re getting special treatment, so be polite.”

The biggest change that had come with the new year was that Yamano could be an official member of the light music club now that she was a student. That meant our band could practice in the clubroom and second music room. We could rent the studio less frequently, which would alleviate the financial burden on us. Nonetheless, simply being in a band required funds, so I still needed to keep my part-time job at Café Mares.

“Two weeks left until the music fest,” Serika said after we’d finished setting up our equipment.

“I think we’re more or less ready,” Mei remarked, uncertain.

“We’ve still got a long way to go,” she said sternly. “People aren’t going to judge us at a high school level.”

He sighed. “Yes, you’re right...”

“We can get even better,” she said.

Seeing her fired up, I nodded. “We decided to take this seriously after all. I don’t want to make any compromises.”

The air in the second music room grew tense. After the school music festival, I had resolved to take the band seriously. That meant participating in the music fest we’d been invited to and aiming for higher heights as a band. The others had agreed with my plan, and so we upped our number of practice sessions.

“Okay, let’s start with ‘Black Witch,’” Serika said.

Taking practice seriously was, of course, hard work. However, I wanted to experience the sight I’d seen at the school festival again. I believed that giving my all to extracurriculars was part of the rainbow-colored youth I sought.

Our current goal was the music fest in two weeks. We were ultimately just the opening act, but there would no doubt be a massive crowd. It would be a big step for our band.

Interlude: The First Round, May

Cherry blossom season ended, and the trees began to bud vibrantly. My high school debut was going swimmingly so far.

“Hey, Natsuki.”

“Morning, Nagiura!”

I mainly hung out with Nagiura in class since we were both on the basketball team. I often chatted with Shiratori-kun and Okajima-kun, who were both on the soccer team. And Hino-kun. But if I had to say, I wanted to expand my circle of friends a little more.

“Did you do the homework?” Nagiura asked.

“Huh? Did we have homework?” I replied.

“I didn’t do it either! I knew we were buds!” He smacked my back.

Hey, that hurts! And seriously, what homework is he talking about? I haven’t been focusing on my studies. Then again, it’s not like hitting the books would help me be popular, so who cares.

Just as the thought finished, Hoshimiya-san came running into the classroom. “Morning everyone!”

“Hey, Hikari-chan. Morning.”

“You barely made it on time. I was worried you’d be late!”

She’s cute even when she’s in a fluster. The mood livens up just from her stepping into the room.

“What’re you staring at? Do you have a crush on Hoshimiya?” Tatsuya teased me.

“I-I don’t! It’s not a crush or anything,” I frantically lied.

Sure, I’m interested in her, but that doesn’t mean I like like her that way. My eyes just can’t help but be drawn to her, that’s all. Why do I always look away whenever our eyes suddenly meet?

For the record, I barely ever spoke to Hoshimiya-san. Nanase-san stuck to her side like a mother hen, so she was never alone.

“Tatsu, mornin’! And morning to you too, Haibara-kun!”

On the other hand, Sakura-san from the same middle school as Nagiura sometimes talked to me. She was super cute and always the energetic mood maker of the class.

I flashed her my pearly whites and responded how a popular kid might. “Hey, Sakura-san. Morning! You’re in a chipper mood as usual!!!”

“Y-Yeah! But I don’t hold a candle to you!”

I had greeted her too loudly, and she seemed a little startled. I wasn’t used to speaking up, so I struggled to control my volume. Still, I was an extrovert now; being loud was surely better than being quiet.

“Ha ha! Life’s meant to be enjoyed, after all!” I gave her a thumbs-up.

“Yeah, ha ha...” She smiled.

“Why’s he so weirdly worked up? It’s so funny.”

The girls in our class were watching me as they clapped their hands and laughed.

“I know, right? I can’t—it’s hilarious. And I mean that in a good and bad way.”

I feel like they’re bad-mouthing me...or, wait, are they complimenting me? If they think I’m funny, then my extrovert mimicry must be working. Probably.

Nagiura and Sakura-san had begun chatting while such thoughts were going through my mind. I wanted to join in, but it sounded like they were talking about a friend from their middle school days. It was a topic I knew nothing about.

“Say, Haibara-kun.”

I had nothing better to do but twiddle my thumbs, when Shiratori-kun kindly struck up a conversation.

“Hey, need something?” I replied.

It’s pretty rare for Shiratori-kun to hit me up. I often see him talking to Nagiura, though. Maybe he’s unexpectedly shy?

He studied me closely, his expression enigmatic. “Haibara-kun, were you always like this?”

“What do you mean? If you’re talking about my personality, I don’t think it’s changed,” I replied. Has he realized I’m a high school debutante? For now, I’ve gotta trick him.

“Hmm... Never mind, then. We should get ready for our next class.”

What did he want to ask me in the end?

Shiratori-kun promptly returned to his seat, leaving me confused.

***

“Hey, Haibara! Don’t drag your feet!”

“Y-Yessiiir...!”

My most pressing issue was that I couldn’t keep up with basketball practice. I had joined the team because of the simple reasoning that tall plus extrovert equals basketball player, but it was genuinely harsh.

“Natsuki, you okay?” Nagiura called out to me as I wobbled around.

“Y-Yeah... Sorry for the trouble.”

“Don’t sweat it. You’re a beginner, so you gotta stick it out through this part.”

Most of the first-years had played basketball in middle school. It would’ve been better if I had just been lacking technique, but a former member of the go home club like me fell behind physically too.

“Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I won’t, thanks.”

To be honest, it takes everything I have to barely scrape by during practice. I want to quit. But if I do, then I might not be able to hang out with Nagiura in class. Besides, it feels good when I make a shot, and if I get a little bit better, I might start enjoying basketball. Also, not gonna lie, I don’t have the guts to quit, so let’s try to hold out and give it my all.

Chapter 2: A Rift with Our Cute Underclassman

It was already pitch-black outside by the time practice ended. I went straight home, ate dinner, and took a bath. Just like that, it was time for bed. Fulfilling days pass by fast.

Problem is, it’s been four days since the new term started, and I’ve barely spoken a word to Hikari. We’re not in the same class, and I either have practice or work after school. I miss her. It’s late, but sending a RINE message can’t hurt. Would it be gross if I honestly admitted I want to talk? Surely it’s fine since I’m her boyfriend, right?

Natsuki: Hikari, you awake?

Hoshimiya Hikari: Yeah, I’m still up

My text got an immediate response.

Natsuki: If you’re down, wanna call? I want to talk

Hoshimiya Hikari: Sure!

Hoshimiya Hikari: I’m writing but I’m almost at a good stopping point, so wait ten minutes!

It’s already 11 p.m., but she’s still working on her novel? Since last summer, Hikari’s been serious about becoming an author and has been working really hard... Am I disturbing her? Feeling guilty, I sent a reply.

Natsuki: Oh, don’t force yourself if you’re in the middle of writing. We can talk some other time

Hoshimiya Hikari: No, I was already winding down for the day

Hoshimiya Hikari: Besides, I want to talk to you too

Natsuki: Let me know when you’re ready then

Heh heh heh. Hikari wants to talk to me too! I’m a happy clam. I waited for a short while, until she sent me a sticker that said, “Okay,” and I called her.

“Can you hear me?” I asked.

“Yeah. You know, Natsuki-kun, it’s rare for you to say you want to talk,” she replied.

“Is it really?”

“It is! I’m always the one initiating!”

Now that she mentions it, that might be true. “It’s because I’d feel bad if I got in the way of your writing.”

“Don’t stress about that. I can write even while we chat.”

Hikari says it like it’s nothing, but isn’t that amazing? I can’t multitask for the life of me. “How’s the progress on your novel?”

“Um, I’m almost done writing the new project that I’ve been working on since February.”

“Wait, already? Isn’t that hecka fast?”

“It’s not! Professional authors write an entire volume in ten days.”

Just a hunch, but isn’t that only a small portion of superhuman pros? Writing an entire book in ten days is crazy! By that logic, they’d be cranking out three volumes a month.

“Natsuki-kun, can you read it once it’s done?”

“Sure, I can’t wait. Speaking of, what kind of story is it?”

“It’s a story about four girls who fly through the sky! It’s set in a world that has magic, but the people are only permitted to use magic that’s slightly useful for everyday life, and flying magic is forbidden. But—” Hikari enthusiastically explained the charms of the world she’d created. She let her imagination take the wheel, and it was like there was a bounce in her voice. I found it pleasant to listen to. “...and that’s how they destroy the old rule that the adults made, and then everyone flies!”

“Yeah, that sounds interesting,” I said.

“Right?! I had a lot of fun writing it too!”

“Still, it can’t be all fun, right?”

It’s only been about a month since I began taking the band seriously, but I’ve already run into so many walls. I can’t hide my lack of skills with power chords like I did at the school festival. I have to master difficult chords, so I get individual lessons from Serika on days we don’t have practice. I’m sure Hikari’s faced tons of walls on her journey that I don’t know about.

“Of course! I writhe on top of my bed in pain whenever I run into writer’s block.”

“Really? I kinda want to see that.”

“No way, never! I groan to myself, so I am not showing that to anyone,” Hikari said vehemently.

Understandable. I don’t want Hikari to see me when I’m being uncool. Please stop pointing out the cold, hard fact that she’s already seen a lot of that!

While I was admonishing myself, Hikari murmured, “But I enjoy the present, including those moments.”

I get it. Just having something to earnestly strive towards makes every day fulfilling.

“So, how’s the band going on your end?” she asked.

“We’ve got two weeks until the fest, and we’ve been practicing like crazy.”

Ever since my leap back in time, I’ve worked hard to paint my high school days vibrant colors. It’s called the Rainbow-Colored Youth Plan. The first step was to make friends, and the second was to get a girlfriend. I accomplished step two last fall, but I had a bunch of interpersonal relationship trouble, and my youth lost color. Which is why I spent the winter hustling to regain the rainbow part of my plan.

Now that that’s solved, my current goal is to make my youth sparkle even more radiantly. Basically, I’m on the final step of my Rainbow-Colored Youth Plan: live a fulfilling life! I believe that taking the band seriously will add that pizzazz to my youth.

“I wish I could say I’ll come watch, but the deadline for submission is close,” Hikari said.

“Don’t force yourself just to come. We’re the opening act, so we only appear briefly in the beginning.”

As the opener, we had a low ticket quota, and we’d already sold them. Plus, the other bands were popular, so I didn’t know if she could even get tickets at this point. Chances were that it was completely booked up.

“I have the newcomer award, and you’ve got your festival. Our goals are different, but let’s both do our best!”

“Yeah. I’m a little down that we’ll both be busy, though,” I said glumly.

“And we’re in different classes too. But I’ll call you whenever I want to hear your voice.”

Just talking a little bit today cheered me up. Even if we have less time to meet up, it’ll be fine as long as we keep supporting each other as a couple. “How’s your new class?”

“It’s fun. I made new friends too.”

I don’t need to worry about Hikari. She’s the (self-proclaimed) school idol, after all. “You’re in the same class as Serika, right?”

“Yeah. I heard from Serika-chan how you’re doing during practice.”

“Ack. What’d she say?”

“She said that you’re steadily improving.”

“Sweet!” I exclaimed. Getting praised by Serika makes me happy.

“But she also said that you started at such a low level that it doesn’t mean that much.”

“I know that!” Which is why I’ve been working my butt off!

Hearing the dejection in my voice, Hikari giggled.

“Could you quit lifting me up just to bring me down?” I whined.

“Controlling the pace is fundamental for storytelling,” she replied playfully.

Don’t storify my actions!

***

A week had passed since the new term had begun. It felt like it had gone by in the blink of an eye. I went to school, went to band practice or work, went home, and slept. My days were so jam-packed that time was melting. By this point, my relationships with my new classmates were cemented. I was pretty friendly with Kijima-kun and Kurahashi-san too.

Like last year, Fujiwara had taken up the role of managing the entire class. She still flung important things at me, though. Sheesh, give a guy a break!

As for the light music club, when the deluge of aspiring applicants found out that Yamano had already joined Mishle, seven people rescinded their application. Isn’t that way too many people to immediately drop?!

In the end, fifteen first-years joined our club, which was still plenty. By Serika’s estimate, we’d lose half of that in half a year. Learning an instrument is fun, but I understand the feeling of wanting to give up once it gets too hard.

At any rate, the hallway in front of the clubroom was crowded with first-years practicing the basics. Since our band was also part of the room schedule rotation, we had to take part in teaching the inexperienced first-years. Not gonna lie, I’m nowhere near good enough to be teaching anyone, but I’m a second-year, so I’ve got no choice.

“Shinohara-senpai, you need to work on this part.”

“Urgh... Maybe we should simplify it after all. It’s a little too hard.”

“But it sounds better this way. If you want to create good music, then please keep plugging away!”

Our band practices were also heating up. Recently, the rhythm duo, Yamano and Mei, had been quibbling more and more often. Both had changed after we’d decided to take the band seriously. These exchanges were a bit scary, but also necessary.

“Okay, let’s wrap up for the day,” Serika said after she glanced at the time. It was 8 p.m.

Another exhausting day, but I noticed a lot of problems. I better practice at home too. I wiped my sweat and then packed my guitar, amp, and effector.

“By the way, what’re we going to do about our band name?” Yamano asked suddenly as she cleaned her drum set. “We’re currently still down as Mishle, right?”

“Oh right. We better think of a new name,” I said. We weren’t Mishmash Leftovers, a temporary band made up of the light music club’s unwanted anymore, so we had talked about changing our name.

“Yeah, but I can’t think of any good ideas.” Serika frowned, her brow crinkled.

“Let’s pick something trendy and cool!” Yamano suggested.

“We wouldn’t be struggling this much if it were that easy,” Mei pointed out.

“I don’t have any naming sense either,” I said.

Our stumped hums filled the second music room.

“Well, there’s no rush,” Serika said.

“Huh? But won’t the music club be inconvenienced if we don’t have a band name?” I asked.

“We’re listed as ‘Mishle (temp)’ for now. The school festival video that went viral on YouTube was of Mishle, so I think they’d actually prefer it if we didn’t change our name,” she answered.

If we rebrand, then we’d suddenly turn into an unknown band. Then again, it doesn’t change the fact that we’re a newbie band that only got in because of Serika’s connections and a viral video.

“So are we appearing in the fest like that?” Yamano asked.

“If we don’t think of any good ideas, then yes. It’s homework for everybody, okay?” Serika said, and then clapped her hands to signal we were done discussing the topic.

***

“Today’s practice was brutal as usual,” Yamano told me.

I had been spending more time with her since we walked home together. Though it was to be expected when we lived in the same town, it was honestly a little awkward.

Going home alone with a female underclassman when I have a girlfriend? Isn’t that a bad look? Sure, Hikari gave me permission, but does having permission really make it okay? There’s also the theory that it’s my fault that Hikari’s...proclivities have become a bit twisted. Opinions are divided about that. Don’t ask me whose opinions—just leave it at that.

“Senpai, want me to guess what you’re worried about?” Yamano asked.

But it’d also be awkward if I avoided going home together with her when we’re in the same band. I wanna know what other guys with girlfriends do when they’re in this position.

“You feel guilty towards your girlfriend, Hoshimiya-senpai, right?” Yamano teased me with an amused chuckle.

I gave her an acrimonious glare. “If you already know, then give me some more space.”

“Ah! Senpai, you’re so cold! How can you treat your adorable underclassman this way?!” Her cheeks puffed up in indignation.

It’s a problem because you’re a cute underclassman. I won’t ever admit that, though. “Anyway, were you always like this?” I asked. Ever since she became a high schooler, she’s been super hyper. I feel like she used to be more quiet and laid-back.

“Hmm? Have I been actin’ weird?”

I paused. “No, I wouldn’t call it weird.” It’s understandable; school’s just started, and Yamano’s environment has changed drastically. It wouldn’t be strange if the people around her have influenced her personality into something brighter. “So, are you enjoying high school life?” I asked.

“That sounds like something my uncle would ask me.”

I had only been trying to make small talk, but I was reciprocated with a body blow. Okay, given the difference in our mental ages, being her uncle wouldn’t be too far out there.

“I’m having fun, though,” she murmured, as though she were savoring each word. “High school and the band are both fulfilling. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way.”

I could tell by her expression that she meant it from the bottom of her heart.

“At first, I was anxious, but my classmates are all really nice.”

She’s usually so cheeky, but when she acts like this, it really hits me that she’s my underclassman. “That’s good to hear, then.”

I don’t know why, but Yamano didn’t have a good middle school experience. After all, she’d eat lunch on the roof with an outcast like me. Back then, she always seemed so hollow, even when she smiled, but now there’s a twinkle in her eyes.

“Coming to Ryomei was the right choice. It’s all thanks to my wonderful upperclassmen!” she said with a bright smile.

I hope you have a good youth. If you make bad decisions, you’ll end up like I did the first time.

***

But man...our band name, huh? I vaguely ruminated on our assignment as I ate curry for dinner at home. Would it be better to decide on a theme first like we did for Mishle? We were Mishle because we were literally a mishmash of leftovers, but what are we this time?

“Hmm...” I groaned.

“Onii-chan, shut up,” Namika, who was sitting next to me and playing on her phone, admonished me.

You already finished your curry, so you could just go to your room.

“What’ve you been agonizing about?” she asked, her attention still on her phone.

“Uh, I gotta brainstorm a new band name.”

“Huh.”

“You don’t seem to care much, even though you’re the one who asked.”

“Yamano-senpai is in your new band, right?”

How did she know? Wait, come to think of it, I believe I mentioned this to Namika before. It makes sense that she’d know Yamano since we’re all from the same middle school. Still, I feel like she kinda had a weird reaction to Yamano joining our band.

“Yeah, what about it?” I asked.

“What’s Yamano-senpai like in high school?”

“What do you mean? She’s the same as everyone else, I think.” She’s in a different year than me, so I don’t really know any concrete details.

My sister went deep into thought at that, her expression awfully solemn.

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but there were some nasty rumors about Yamano-senpai.”

Nasty rumors, huh? Ever since Miori’s incident, I had developed an intense enmity towards that sort of thing.

“I’m in the year below Yamano-senpai, and I’ve personally never interacted with her before, so I don’t know the truth... But if you’re going to be in the same band as her, then you should probably at least know about it.” Namika’s preface was long, and what she said next shocked me. “People say that Yamano-senpai was the ringleader for the bullying that happened in her class.”

That doesn’t sound like the Yamano I know. Her, bullying someone? I can’t believe it. She doesn’t seem like the type. “How come I’ve never heard that rumor before?”

“Obviously, because you didn’t have friends in middle school,” she said matter-of-factly, inflicting mass damage on me, and then added, “That’s why everyone in her grade hated her. If it’s true, she got what she deserved, though.”

The part about her being hated has a ring of truth to it. It would make sense why she ate lunch on the roof with me. “I can’t believe she would be a bully, though.” Yamano isn’t like that... I think. But do I know her well enough to say that for sure?

“The rumor’s all I know. If that’s how you feel, then your instinct’s probably right. That’s why I hesitated to mention it.”

Namika probably didn’t want to support a dubious rumor either, but she warned me for my sake. Despite her surly attitude, she cares about her family. “Thanks for telling me.” I patted her head for the first time in a while.

She smacked my hand away. “Gross!”

Heh heh heh. Aw, is she embarrassed?

However, her eyes were ice-cold. “Shut up. You’re annoying. Stay away from me. Go find a hole to die in.”

“Y-You didn’t have to go that far...” I’m sorry for getting ahead of myself.

***

The next day after school, we had our rare practice session in the light music clubroom. We were playing the intro of “Monochrome,” when Yamano abruptly stopped drumming.

“Shinohara-senpai, you’re making mistakes,” she said.

“Oh, sorry,” he replied.

It was an exchange I’d witnessed many times, but today was different.

“Apologizing is great and all, but...how many times are you going to make the same mistake?”

The temperature in the room suddenly plummeted.

Yamano’s frigid gaze was fixed on Mei. “We’re going to appear in the festival at that music club, right? Didn’t you go on about taking the band seriously? Then the least you could do is fix this stuff when you practice on your own time.”

“Y-You didn’t need to say it like that,” Mei replied, offended.

She didn’t need to bite his head off over a small mistake. Then again, she has been pointing out the same thing to Mei a lot lately. It’s true he hasn’t fixed it.

“Saya, you went too far,” Serika chided.

However, Yamano shot back in a sharp tone, “Serika-senpai, you’re too soft. The band won’t improve if you’re like that.” She believed she was right; her eyes said it all.

“No, I’m...” Serika trailed off. Perhaps it had struck a chord.

Well... I know Serika is really mindful when she teaches us. She’s reserved because of her previous experiences in a band.

“We only have four more days until the fest. We can’t be taking our sweet time.”

Mei didn’t say anything, but he wore unconcealed discontent. However, we knew that Yamano wasn’t wrong. None of us wanted to show up to the fest in our current state. For all that, we were starting to panic because we were running out of time.

“Let’s continue,” Yamano said.

We all remained on edge for the rest of practice. Honestly, I found it suffocating.

“Uh... So, did anyone think of a band name?” When we’d finished, Serika changed the topic in a blatant show of consideration, which was kinda wild coming from her. It made plain just how bad the atmosphere in our band had gotten. Sparks were flying between Mei and Yamano. “To be honest, I couldn’t think of anything.”

“I did some brainstorming, but same here,” I said.

“I got nothing either,” Yamano said.

“Sorry,” Mei added, “I drew a blank as well.”

Sadly, no one had thought of a name, not a single suggestion. Listen, I’ve been thinking about it, okay? But the light bulb just isn’t going off... I mean, Iwano-senpai is the one who came up with Mishle. Maybe none of us have a knack for naming things.

It was so quiet that anyone walking in would’ve found it hard to believe that we were the light music club. The mood was so heavy in here that, in a panic, Serika said, “I-It’s okay! We can just be Mishle (temp) this time! Let’s wrap up for the day,” and clapped her hands.

Okay, something is clearly up with Serika. She’s caring way too much about the mood—she’s acting like a normal human being (pardon the rude phrasing). The Hondo Serika I know is a free spirit who decisively calls the shots.

“Serika, are you okay?” I whispered.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.” Her shoulders trembled with a start.

I glanced at Mei and Yamano, who were cleaning up in silence. “We should do something about them,” I said.

There was the slightest pause before she replied, “Yeah. It might be bad if this keeps up.”

“Serika, you know, you’re also acting kinda weird.”

“I know, but I’ll be fine, so don’t worry about me.”

There has never been a case where someone who insists they’re fine is actually fine. Welp, the mood is definitely bothering Serika, so getting those two to reconcile comes first.

“I’ll talk to Yamano,” I said.

She’s never been one to mince words, but it’s been markedly more obtrusive these days. Maybe that’s the natural next step when we all said we’d take the band seriously, though. And maybe becoming a high schooler has played a part in her attitude change.

“Okay... Please do, Natsuki,” Serika replied.

I had never heard her so feeble before.

***

As usual, it was just me and Yamano on the train back home. Though she had worn a deep frown the entire time, not letting out so much as a peep, she suddenly muttered, “I meant to say things nicely in the beginning. But he wasn’t improving no matter how many times I told him to fix it, so of course I’d get harsher.”

“Well, Mei’s trying his best,” I said.

I’d been attempting to pacify her, but it only aggravated her more.

“Trying his best? Does someone really repeat the same mistakes that many times if they’re trying their best?”

“Happens to me,” I said, puffing up with pride.

“Why’re you bragging about that?” She let out an exasperated sigh. “I don’t believe it, though. Frankly, he doesn’t look like he’s trying his best to me.”

“Are you that upset with Mei?”

“He’s inexperienced, no way around that when it comes to skills. But if that were the problem, then you’re way worse.”

Her words stabbed me like a knife. I know I’m the weakest link, okay?!

“But you’re practicing like mad, aren’t you?” she said. “You’re actually improving by leaps and bounds.”

“Well, yeah... I’m the one who decided I’d give this a serious shot, after all.” I’ve got to own up to the claim. That aside... I’m thrilled she praised me! Breaking my back to practice at home was worth it.

“But compared to you, Shinohara-senpai isn’t improving. It’s almost the big day, and he’s still making tons of mistakes,” Yamano said.

“That’s...true.” I couldn’t refute that. Fact of the matter was, Mei had been making a lot of mistakes.

“If you’re serious about the band, then you should be getting more angry.”

Yamano was right, which was why I couldn’t say anything in response.

***

Three days until the music fest.

Compared to the other bands who’d be there, our allotted time was far shorter. Hence, we would only be playing three songs. The plan was to play the same ones we had performed at the school festival: “Black Witch,” “Monochrome,” and “To the Star.” In the first place, we only had three original songs. Ultimately, we were being treated as a curtain-raiser, but it didn’t change the fact that this was going to be a big moment for us.

Rumors had spread that the light music club would be appearing at the music fest, so a lot of students were coming to cheer for us. Since we only had three days left, the club president was even giving up their practice slot in the second music room, telling us, “Practice to your hearts’ desire.”

We were the only group that had broken the confines of the club and formed our band outside of school. We bore the responsibility of being the only representatives of Ryomei High School’s light music club. With that pressure on our backs, we threw ourselves into practice with even greater zeal.

“Stop for a sec.” Yamano put her hand up right when we finished playing the bridge of “Black Witch.” Her sharp gaze was directed at me. “Senpai. Please keep in time properly. Why am I even smacking my drums if you’re going to play like that? If you can’t match my rhythm during practice, then you’ll definitely speed up during the real thing.” Her tone was prosaic, but her brow was furrowed.

A beat passed. “Sorry,” I said. I didn’t have the time to worry about Yamano. My hands were full just dealing with my own problems.

“I want to play from the bridge again. Please concentrate,” she said, clearly annoyed.

I’m sorry I have no sense of rhythm...

“Hey.”

I was meekly reflecting on my mistake, when Mei spoke up.

“Do you really need to word it like that?” His tone was awfully rigid.

“We only have three days left—how else am I supposed to word it? We’re going to be screwed if we can’t pull it together,” Yamano rebutted.

“I understand the logic, but Natsuki is your upperclassman.”

“If we can’t say what needs to be said just because someone’s older than us, then we’ll never be able to make good music.”

They were going tit for tat, and their discussion was heating up.

“I’m saying you should watch how you phrase things!” he shouted.

Silence blanketed the room. Mei scarcely ever raised his voice to such an extent. When Yamano had pointed out his slipups yesterday, he had quietly taken it.

“I don’t care how you say things to me, but I don’t like the way you treat Natsuki,” he said.

Meanwhile, Serika stood stock-still, anxiety written all over her face.

“If this is what being serious means to this band, then I won’t have a part in it,” Mei said.

Nevertheless, Yamano didn’t budge. “Yeah? Well from my perspective, you don’t seem to be particularly serious about this.”

Mei and Yamano glared at each other. The atmosphere was stormy.

Welp... It looks like the exact thing I worried would happen has happened.

***

“Let’s call it a day,” I said.

Serika nodded in agreement.

It’d be pointless to continue with the mood like this.

“Natsuki, can we talk for a bit?” Mei called out to me after practice.

“Sure.” I was just thinking that I needed to hear what’s going on on his end too.

Yamano and Serika left first, and the two of us headed to the vending machines by the clubroom building. There was a small rest area in front of the machines.

“So, what’d you want to talk about?” I asked as I pressed the button for coffee.

“Yamano-san has been acting a little strange recently.” Mei bought an energy drink. He pulled the tab open and grumbled, “She wasn’t like that in the beginning. She was candid, yes, but she didn’t choose words that would hurt others. But she clearly looks down on us as of late.”

Yeah, I knew we’d end up talking about this.

“She and Hondo-san have both been in a band before, and I agree that compared to them, the two of us are lacking in technique. She can treat me how she likes, but I won’t tolerate her speaking to you that way.”

Knew it. Mei is angry for me. “I appreciate that, but she was right. My head wasn’t in it today.”

“Yes, but there’s a right way to word things.”

“Well...true.” Who should I side with?

I cradled my coffee while Mei downed his energy drink in one gulp.

“Natsuki, you went to the same middle school as her, so you’ll back her up, but to me she’s just another underclassman. With how Yamano-san has been acting lately, I can’t view her as a fellow bandmate.”

Mei’s fiercer than I expected. It goes to show just how angry he is. My decision brought about our band’s current situation. If we had continued to take it easy, then none of this would’ve happened.

“Regardless, I’ll put up with it until the fest. I can’t back out now anyway.” Mei threw out his empty can. It landed in the bin with a clang.

I clutched my unopened can of coffee as he walked past me and made for the school entrance. “If Iwano-senpai were here...” I faintly heard him murmur as he left.

***

I kept turning the conversation I’d had with Mei over in my mind on the way home. When I got off the train at the unmanned station nearest to my house, it was already late at night, without a soul in sight. However, upon closer inspection, a lone girl was loitering around in the darkness.

“Yamano. It’s dangerous hanging around here alone,” I called out to her.

She immediately came over to me. I could tell her eyes were slightly swollen even under the dim streetlamps.

“Senpai, I was waiting for you,” she said.

I paused. “All right. I’ll walk you home.” It would’ve been shameful to let my underclassman who was fresh out of middle school go home alone at this hour.

Yamano and I began to walk side by side. I only have a vague idea where she lives, but I don’t think it’s that far from my house. We normally walk together for a short while from the station and split at the intersection up ahead.

“Senpai... I’m sorry,” she said.

She’s dejected. Man, she’d be cute if she were always like this. “What’re you apologizing for?”

“For ruining the vibes.”

“If you didn’t say anything wrong, then there’s nothing to apologize for.”

“But...” Yamano shook her head back and forth. “What did Shinohara-senpai say?”

I was hesitant to disclose our conversation, but lying wouldn’t help her. “He said that there’s a right way to word things.”

“Yeah, he’s right... I know I crossed the line.” She hung her head, crushed. “We didn’t sound the way I wanted, and I lost control of my temper.”

“It’s because Mei and I aren’t good enough, right?”

Yamano clammed up, struggling to come up with a reply, but her silence was an answer in itself. “If you’re serious about aiming for the top, then no, you’re not good enough,” she eventually said.

“In that case, our first step is to improve much, much more.” The harsher Yamano becomes, the more it shows how much we’re letting down her expectations. She never speaks like that to Serika, after all.

“No, it’s not like I’m as good as Serika-senpai either, so why am I acting like I’m all that and nitpicking on you guys? In the first place, Serika-senpai’s our leader, so there should be no reason for me to talk to you two like that when I’m the youngest one in the band... I’ll try not to say anything unnecessary starting tomorrow,” Yamano told me. She sounded like she’d reflected deeply and was down in the dumps.

“Well, maybe it’s better if you just focus on the drums,” I replied. It’s a tricky predicament, but our band will implode if she doesn’t cool it, so this is for the best. But I know this’ll only sweep my lack of skills under the rug. I need to get way better.

“Yeah...” Yamano gazed up at the night sky and drew a deep breath.

***

Two days until the music fest.

Our band assembled in the second music room again today. Right at the onset, the atmosphere was stifling because of the previous day’s argument. We set up in complete silence.

Serika was shooting me imploring stares all the while. Wh-Why are you looking at me? I can’t come up with anything witty to say!

Yamano stayed wholly focused on her drums. It seemed she planned to abide by what she’d promised me yesterday. She examined her drums like a master craftsman, without a single superfluous word.

On the other hand, Mei kept glancing at this new Yamano. It must bother him since they fought only yesterday. Hmm... This is an unpleasant situation. I cleared my throat loudly to get everyone’s attention.

“We have two days left until the big day. Let’s get pumped and do this!” I said with a smile, trying to dispel the gloomy mood.

“Yeah,” Serika said.

“Yes!” Mei exclaimed.

“Roger that!” Yamano chirped.

On the surface, their replies were cheerful.

I don’t know how they actually feel on the inside, but a cheery atmosphere is better for practice. The fest is almost here. Everyone knows we don’t have time to be fighting. We need to polish our songs to perfection first. We can deal with everything else afterwards.

“Ack...”

However, Mei continued to slip up. Even worse, it was during the parts that Yamano had cautioned him on in the past. Perhaps he was making more mistakes than usual because he was still hung up on yesterday’s events.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Yamano, for her part, didn’t say a word. She merely kept her eyes glued on her drums and focused. Not gonna lie, it gives off a bad impression, but I guess it’s better than her complaining like usual.

“Hey, Shinohara-kun.” Unlike the usual, Serika pointed out Mei’s mistakes. “You’re reentering too slow after the break. You need to match Saya’s timing.”

“Yes. I’m sorry,” he said.

“Well, everybody makes mistakes.” This time, Yamano was the one to stick up for him. “No way around it but to practice again,” she said with a merry smile.

She seemed like a different person from the girl who had been coldly criticizing him yesterday.

“Huh? What happened to you all of a sudden?” Mei asked, bewildered.

“My wording has been a little too harsh lately. I’ve reflected,” she replied.

At those words, a relieved smile spread across his face.

Well look at that! She can do it if she tries.

Yamano’s small change in attitude was all it took to rapidly lift the mood. After that, we practiced harmoniously, a complete about-face from yesterday. It was a fun session, as though we’d returned to how we used to be.

***

The evening spring breeze felt pleasant on the way home.

“Senpai! It’s all thanks to your advice!” Full of glee, Yamano repeatedly bumped me with her shoulder.

That hurts! “I didn’t say much, but yeah, today’s mood was good.”

“I know, right! Why did I spend all that time worrying when all I had to do was keep my mouth shut?” she said in a self-deprecating tone and chuckled. “Whatever! With how today went, we should be golden!”

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure how things would turn out, but...” At any rate, the band’s atmosphere is back to normal. “I think we can put on a pretty good show as things stand.” It looks like we’ll be able to appear at the concert with good vibes. What a relief!

We were steps away from the intersection where Yamano and I usually parted when she asked quietly, “Hey, senpai. This is good, right?” Her expression was solemn, but it looked like she was trying to hide her anxiety.

“Yeah, of course. I mean, we had fun at practice today, right?” I smiled to sweep away her unease. This is fine. After all, Yamano and Mei were able to reconcile.

Hearing my reassurance put a smile on her face. “Yeah, you’re right! See ya tomorrow, then!” she exclaimed, and then waved goodbye energetically as she disappeared into the darkness.

***

One day until the music fest.

Today we ran through all three songs over and over and did our final checks.

“Nice, we sound pretty good,” Yamano said.

Mei hardly made any mistakes by this point. We had shaped up into a decent opening act. Yamano and Mei had continued their amicable streak from yesterday and were having a peaceful conversation.

“Um, Hondo-senpai? What’s wrong?” Yamano asked.

I’m also concerned about Serika.

“Sorry,” she said. She had barely said a word today, and her expression was gloomy too.

She’s not making mistakes or anything, but it still weighs on my mind.

“Oh no, do you feel sick?” Yamano asked.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Serika replied weakly.

Strictly speaking, today’s not the only day she’s been acting weird. Something was off about her the entire time Yamano and Mei were having their feud. But the band’s mood is back to normal now, so why does she look even glummer?

“Maybe I’m nervous because tomorrow’s the big day.” Serika put on a strained smile.

Her default setting is deadpan. This isn’t like her at all.

Mei and Yamano, however, didn’t seem particularly bothered by it. “Huh, I didn’t pin you as the type to get nervous,” Yamano remarked.

“Hey, Yamano-san, that’s just plain rude,” Mei chided.

The three of them shared a laugh.

Something about this scene gave me a strong sense of discomfort. What is it? What’s so strange? This is nothing compared to the perilous atmosphere from two days ago. The band should be smooth sailing. So why do I feel so uneasy?

***

After practice ended, we headed home together while discussing the plan for tomorrow.

“See you guys tomorrow, then,” Mei said. He parted from us once we were near Maebashi Station.

The three of us rode the Ryomo Line to Takasaki Station. Yamano and I had to transfer, but Takasaki was the closest station to Serika’s house, so she split off there.

“Cool, then eat lunch before you come to the music club tomorrow, okay?” Serika said. She’d remained listless the entire way home.

Is it really just nerves? Am I missing something?

“Okey doke, shall we? It takes forever to get home from here,” Yamano lamented. She was making her way to the Joshin Dentetsu Line ticket gates when I spoke up.

“Sorry, Yamano. There’s something I need to do. You go on ahead,” I said. My gut tells me I have to act now. Something isn’t right; I feel it in my bones. Whatever it is, I can’t ignore it, and I probably need to talk to Serika to find out what that is.

“Huh? Senpai?!”

“Sorry! See you tomorrow!”

I quickly weaved my way through the stream of pedestrians coming and going, leaving my surprised underclassman behind. I had already lost sight of Serika in the sea of people. However, I had a general idea of which direction she lived in. She had given me some lessons near there, after all.

I ran down the station stairs, shot past the roundabout, and veered down the main road in front of the station. Takasaki’s downtown area comprised the largest city in Gunma Prefecture. Even though it was getting late, there were many streetlamps, and building lights were still on. I ran around searching for Serika among the rush of people and cars. Eventually, I left the business district and entered the residential area.

I was panting by that point. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath. It’s hard running with a guitar on my back. I’m dead tired. Pretty sure she lives in this direction, but I haven’t caught sight of her yet... I guess acting on impulse and dashing off was a mistake. Such thoughts filled my head as I strolled through the empty residential area. Then, I happened to pass by a small park.

Given how late it is, of course no one’s out... As soon as the thought went through my mind, a flutter of blonde hair caught my eye. The only playground equipment in the entire park was a swing set, and sitting on one of the swings was a girl wearing a familiar uniform.

“Serika,” I said.

“Huh? Natsuki?” Serika had left her bag and guitar case next to the swing set. Tears cascaded from her eyes as she swayed back and forth.

***

A cherry blossom tree next to the swing set scattered a handful of its petals. The sakura season was nearly over, even though they had been in full bloom only a short while ago.

“Why are you out here?” I asked. I sat down on the swing beside Serika’s.

She remained silent for a while.

When she wiped her eyes with her sleeve, I spoke up again. “Serika, I was looking for you.”

“Why? Did something urgent come up?” she asked.

“No.” I paused. “Nothing critical.”

“What, did you miss me? Gosh, did you fall for me?” she said in a forced teasing tone.

Our eyes met, and she immediately turned away.

“Can I ask a question?”

“No.”

“Why were you crying?”

“I told you no...” Serika pushed her lips out into a pout.

At such close proximity, I could tell even in the darkness of the night that her eyes were red.

“I don’t know either.” She shook her head. “Why am I crying?”

A beat passed. “Was there something wrong with today’s practice?” I asked.

“No. Shinohara-kun and Saya made peace, and the vibes were good.”

“Then why? You’ve been acting weird lately.”

“I know, right? Something’s been wrong with me for a while now.” Her agreement sounded self-deprecating. “Natsuki, I told you this before. Since middle school, I’ve been in a ton of bands and experienced just as many breakups. I was anxious it might turn out the same this time too... I was scared.”

“I figured it was something like that.” Serika looked terrified of something whenever she was trying to be considerate of Yamano and Mei. What she says checks out with my conjecture. Still, if that’s why she was acting off, I don’t understand why she’s still crying. “But the mood was better today, right?”

“Yeah, you’re definitely right about that, but...”

I feel like the source of my discomfort is reflected in Serika’s tears.

“Nothing’s really been solved,” she finished.

However, I couldn’t follow what she was getting at. “What do you mean? Mei and Yamano have reconciled.”

“But Saya didn’t say anything about his mistakes, right?”

True. Yamano didn’t pay attention to other people’s performance. She focused solely on her own part...because I advised her to.

“Natsuki, what did you say to her?”

“Oh, uh... I told her to try concentrating on the drums.” As a result, our band’s atmosphere has improved. The prickly relationship between Yamano and Mei has smoothed out, and now we can practice peacefully.

“That’s not our goal, though.” Serika shook her head and stared at me dolefully. “Isn’t our goal to change the world with our music?”

I finally understood what she wanted to say. Did all my worrying make me lose sight of our goal?

“Saya is right,” she said.

“But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to speak so harshly,” I countered.

“That might be true if we were an ordinary high school band, but...” Serika gazed up at the night sky.

Drawn by her gaze, I did the same. There was not a cloud in sight, and the stars were twinkling brightly.

“...Don’t we want to be a serious band?”

Yeah. She’s absolutely right. That’s what I told everyone.

“Does being serious mean sweeping our problems under the rug and acting wishy-washy?” Serika spoke slowly, verbalizing her feelings that had been hazy moments ago. “Saya is strict with Shinohara-kun because they’re both part of the rhythm section. It has nothing to do with being older or younger. If we want to make good music, then there shouldn’t be any room for compromise.”

After a moment, I replied, “So I said something unnecessary to Yamano, huh.”

“You know what I told Saya the day before yesterday? I told her she was fine as she was.”

That’s the day Yamano waited for me at the station. While Mei and I were talking, she went home with Serika. Serika gave her the exact opposite advice I did.

“But Saya changed. She started compromising. She began prioritizing having a happy-go-lucky atmosphere during practice over making good music. Because of what you told her.” Serika’s tone was blatantly critical. “Saya trusted your words over mine.”

There was no room for argument. As an upperclassman, I had been zealous in my desire to give guidance to my underclassman.

“I didn’t like how dark the mood was becoming,” she continued. “And I really was scared that we would break up.”

However, I had failed to understand how much my words could change a person and the repercussions that would come with it.

“But we would be getting our priorities backwards if we didn’t say what needed to be said because of that.”

I had been so caught up in the immediate problem that I had forgotten what our initial goal had been. It was my fault that Serika was crying.

“Sorry,” I said. Mei and I were in the wrong. As the ones lacking skills in the band, we needed to be more self-aware.

“As things stand, we can put on a pretty decent concert,” she said.

Serika hadn’t reprimanded Yamano for her remarks up until now.

“But we won’t be able to change the world. The miracle we experienced during the school festival won’t happen again.”

I had assumed she hadn’t spoken up because she was scared of aggravating the mood further.

“Obviously, it’s more fun if we all get along in perfect harmony.”

But Serika hadn’t said anything, because she agreed with Yamano.

“It’s terrifying when the mood is awful. I was worried they would argue to the point of quitting the band. But shouldn’t we take that risk if we’re going to be serious? Natsuki, didn’t you choose this path knowing that? Can you really call our current environment serious?”

Serika is absolutely right. I was relieved that the mood had reverted to being easygoing just like before. But being like before means we’re back to the same leisurely practices from a few months ago. If we weren’t trying to change the world with our music, then it wouldn’t be an issue, but we said we’d do this seriously, so Serika resolved herself. On the other hand, she was lamenting my obliviousness.

“Natsuki, what does being serious mean to you?”

Yamano was harsh with me because I’m the one who wanted to take the band seriously. I couldn’t say a word.

Serika peeled her eyes away from me and picked up her bag and guitar case. “Let’s do our best tomorrow, Natsuki.” She left me behind and walked out of the park.

I was frozen in my seat for a while. I swayed back and forth on the swing, sinking into a deep sea of thoughts.

What does it mean to be serious? What do you have to do to prove you’re serious? I don’t know. I don’t know the answer, but there is one thing I do know. No matter how I think about it, I realize I was all talk.

***

And so, Saturday, the day of the concert, arrived. Since I was the PR manager of the band, I posted the information on Twister once again. It was nothing compared to the other bands, but we got dozens of likes. Not even ten percent of the entire audience would be there for us, but we were sure to have a few fans present. After all, we might not have been given that many tickets to sell, but we had filled our quota.

“Erm, it was around here, right?” I mumbled.

The music club was about a ten-minute walk from Takasaki Station. Its chic storefront had a sign with “Club Jaguars” written on it. The other three were already assembled near the entrance.

“Good morning, err, or more like afternoon, huh?” I said. The music fest was starting in the evening, so we were meeting postlunch.

“Hello, Natsuki,” Mei said.

“I’m gonna pull out all the stops today!” Yamano exclaimed.

“I ate gyudon for lunch. It was tasty,” Serika said. She appeared the same as always. Or at the very least, she was acting like it.

Neither of us brought up the events of yesterday, and the four of us entered the music club while jabbering about random stuff. Someone who looked like event staff was standing by the counter in the lounge. Serika walked right up to them, so we followed after her.

“We’re Mishle (temp). Thanks for having us today,” she said.

“Okay, you’re checked in. Also, what’s with the ‘temp’ in your name?”

“We have a new member, so we were going to change our band name, but we couldn’t come up with one.”

“Ha ha! Gotcha. Backstage is thataway, good luck!”

Once we finished checking in, we submitted our set list and stage layout. This was the music club where Serika worked part-time, so since she knew the event staff already, the process went smoothly.

“Next, we should greet the other bands,” Serika said.

“I-I’m nervous,” Mei stammered. “Besides us, all the bands on the list are amazing.”

“I know, right! What if someone tells us ‘Brats aren’t supposed to be back here’ or something?!” Yamano said.

Now that’s too prejudiced! Only characters in anime say stuff like that—no real person would... Wait, they wouldn’t, right?

“Don’t worry; it’ll be fine. I know everyone,” Serika said.

For the three of us, everything was a flurry of newness, but we had Serika as our dependable guide.

“Oh, it’s Serika-chan! Let’s have a good one today!”

“Hi, mister. Looking forward to playing with you.”

“Hey, I’m too young to be a mister!”

Evidently, the older guys from other bands doted on Serika quite a lot. A few even acknowledged our existence as Serika’s friends and said, “Let’s both do our best out there!”

“Kusabi said hello to us...” Mei was trembling after a big shot indie band greeted us.

“It’s hard to believe we’re going to play on the same stage as bands that good,” Yamano said, her eyes on Mei.

“Personally, Maruido shook me up more,” I said.

Yamano’s eyes widened. “Huh? Is that band popular? I’ve never heard of them.”

“No, I just like them,” I lied. Maruido is going to become super famous in the future. They’re the second-newest band after us at this festival, but of all the bands playing today, I know they’ll be the most successful, since I traveled back in time. Man, this sure is a valuable experience!

“Yeah, Maruido’s performances are out of this world. I don’t get why they don’t have more fans.” Serika tilted her head, confused as to why her acquaintances weren’t more popular.

Don’t worry. Their number of fans is going to skyrocket soon.

***

Once we’d finished greeting all the bands, rehearsal immediately began.

“We’re going up in order of appearance, so we start,” Serika said.

Huh, so we’re following the actual order? I heard it’s pretty common to rehearse in reverse order, which is, by the way, called rehearsing backwards, as you might’ve guessed.

“Okay, gimme the big three, drums!” The sound tech—the person in charge of the sound systems—was giving us directions and adjusting the volume settings for us.

Yamano hit the bass drum, snare, and hi-hat; apparently, those were the “big three” the sound tech was referring to for a sound check. Yamano, having experienced band life in middle school, pulled it off coolly.

“The bassist next, Specs-kun, please!”

“Y-Yes!” Mei stiffly played a few notes on his bass.

I get it. It’s nerve-racking, isn’t it? Mei and I are still wet behind the ears, so it’s our first time playing at an authentic concert venue. The place feels extra vast because the audience isn’t here yet.

“Serika, make some noise.”

“Okaaay... How’s this?” Serika seemed to be quite close to the sound tech and chatted casually while they did her sound check.

“Okay, great. Then last up is you on the guitar, please.”

Oops! Now’s not the time to be observing other people. I hastily plucked a few bars and sang haphazardly into the mic. After that, we all played together and did one section of “Monochrome” for a final check. Not gonna lie, I’m so nervous that I can’t tell whether I’m singing well or not.

“Okay, we’re done here. Maruido, you guys are up next!” said the sound tech.

Everyone began disassembling while I stood around in a daze.

“Natsuki, don’t forget to take a pic of the settings,” Serika reminded me.

“O-Oh, right. We have to reset everything later, huh.” Before I tore down, I took a picture of my current amp settings and whatnot. Then I hurriedly packed away my guitar and let the next band take the stage.

There was a rehearsal for the school festival too, but it makes sense this would be different from a school concert. There’s an actual sound system and a tech to operate it. The tension is palpable among the indie bands. It’s really sinking in that we’ve left the cozy bounds of our light music club to perform outside.

The greenroom had been transformed into a place for all the bands to store their equipment, so we waited in the lounge. The four of us rested, watching the other bands rehearse out of the corner of our eyes.

“All that’s left is to wait for the concert to start, huh,” Yamano remarked.

We didn’t talk much. Now that the big day was here, we all had butterflies in our stomachs. As we waited in the lounge, attendees began to come in. They entered in droves, bought drinks, and then congregated in front of the stage.

“Dang, that’s a big crowd,” Yamano said.

“The weather’s good today, so I think we’ll get the expected turnout,” I replied.

“We should head to the waiting room,” Serika said. “We’re up first, so we need to get ready.”

Mei must’ve been overwhelmed by his nerves, because he didn’t say a single word.

***

It was almost time. I took a deep, slow breath and then headed for the stage. The curtains were still drawn shut, so we couldn’t see the floor. Nevertheless, we could hear the huge crowd clamoring through the thick curtain. We redid the settings of our instruments and equipment, and played a few quick notes for a final check.

“Okay, let’s kick things off, then!” At the sound tech’s signal, the curtains swung open.

The venue, jam-packed with bodies, gradually unveiled itself. So many people were looking at us. I even heard a few oohs full of anticipation.

“We’re Mishmash Leftovers! Thanks for coming out today!”

However, in spite of the large crowd, not that many people seemed particularly pumped up. Of course they’re not. We’re a new band with only a handful of fans. I bet ninety percent of the attendees haven’t ever heard of us.

They applauded in an obligatory fashion as we introduced each member. “Who’re these guys?” was written all over their faces. Their appraising gazes scared me. This was a stark contrast from the school festival, where we’d had tons of people cheering for us. We had no place here. I had come knowing all this, but now that I was experiencing it firsthand, I felt like I was going to be swallowed up. Cold sweat ran down my back as I continued to MC. I made a dumb joke, but not a single person laughed.

“Natsuki, calm down. We’ve just gotta play,” Serika whispered.

I nodded back. It’s like I’m playing an away game; I’m getting overwhelmed. But we just need to turn everyone here into our fans. We practiced with that in mind, supposedly... At the very least, that was the intention in the beginning.

“Here’s our first song, ‘Black Witch.’”

However, reality was harsh. To summarize events in brief, we learned that miracles don’t happen so easily.

***

Three songs went by in a flash. We vacated the stage as the audience politely applauded for us. Our performance wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. Though we had made several mistakes, we still managed to see things through until the very end. Once the music had begun, the audience also got pumped up, to an extent.

“They were just the opener, after all.”

“They’re still high schoolers, right? They did a good job.”

“Not bad. I’m looking forward to seeing more of them.”

Yes, that’s right—to an extent.

We returned backstage, passing by Maruido, who were on their way up after us. The atmosphere was ineffably awkward. It wasn’t like we had made a fatal mistake, but we couldn’t say that it had been the best performance ever. After all, the world hadn’t changed whatsoever.

“First off, good job up there,” Serika said impassively as she wiped her sweat off with a towel.

Mei lowered his head, crestfallen. “I’m sorry. It’s my fault.”

Yamano looked like she had something to say to him, but ultimately averted her eyes.

“Saya,” Serika said. “If there’s something you want to say, then say it.” She seemed to have made up her mind after our conversation yesterday.

“What? Right now? We just finished, so it can wait until later...” Yamano said, blindsided.

But Serika pressed on. “It’s better to review our performance while it’s still fresh on our minds.”

Yamano gave me a dismayed glance. That tiny gesture said everything. She was relying on me for her code of conduct.

“Sorry, Yamano. I was wrong,” I said.

“Huh?” Surprise colored her face.

The first thing I had to do was apologize to her. I need to properly amend my mistakes. My eyes locked with hers, and I proceeded to contradict what I’d told her the other day. “It’s better to say what needs to be said.” That was the conclusion I had reached after my talk with Serika yesterday.

Mei knitted his brow in bewilderment. “What are you all talking about?”

Yamano fell silent for a brief moment, and then she turned her gaze on Mei. “Feeling nervous is inevitable, but you should stick to what we practiced.”

For the record, I had been desperately trying to keep it together onstage, so I didn’t know what she was referring to. However, Yamano and Serika were on the same page about something, and they were staring straight at Mei.

Serika followed up after her. “During the final verse of ‘Black Witch’...you simplified the bass line, didn’t you?”

Now that she mentions it, I think he did.

“Well, that’s how I played it during the school festival. I didn’t want to mess up.” He was guilty as charged. His gaze roamed the room, looking everywhere but at us.

“If you’re not going to bring out all the progress you made during practice, then what was the point of practicing in the first place?” Yamano pointed out.

The issue with trimming the bass line is that it becomes monotonous. It would sound hollow and diminish the groove. Basically, that part loses its impact. It’s honestly such a minor thing, but I think being serious means valuing every little detail. Though giving it every fiber of your being is difficult, if we make compromises, we won’t be able to change the world.

“Didn’t you practice hard so you wouldn’t mess up?” Yamano was seething with rage. Now that I’d given her the green light, all the emotions she’d suppressed sprang forth. “Serika-senpai altered the song because you said you’d take this seriously, remember? Each of our parts got harder, but it would add depth to our music and sound more hype in return!”

Yamano’s exactly right. During last year’s school festival, my part was composed of only simple power chords, but now it’s become fairly difficult. That’s why I spent all that time practicing like crazy so I could play it.

Yamano’s tone was rather harsh, but Serika made no attempt to subdue her; instead, she agreed.

“I feel the same. I know I’m demanding something hard from you. But Saya pointed out the same part over and over. I think you’ve had plenty of opportunities to fix it.”

Mei, being one-sidedly attacked, took a step back.

“Besides, it’s okay to make mistakes,” Yamano added. “But why aren’t you challenging yourself? It’s weird!” From beginning to end, everything she’d said was a sound argument. I hadn’t realized any of this, and I felt like I had no right to take either side. I was just a wallflower.

Mei hung his head, unable to get a word in. I felt bad, but I found it hard to defend him. After all, he had done something that warranted reprimanding.

He remained silent for a while until, finally, he turned his back to us as if he were fleeing. “I’m sorry. I’m going to step outside for some fresh air.”

“You probably didn’t feel confident because you didn’t practice enough,” Yamano called out after him as he plodded away. She then delivered the final blow. “Shinohara-senpai, your ‘serious’ was all talk.”

W-Waaait... Hold it right there. You’re right. You are right, but...there’s a better way to phrase it! I glanced at Serika. Her arms were crossed, and she seemed somewhat uneasy. But I’m the one who spurred Yamano on, so the onus is on me, huh?

Yamano’s piercing gaze turned to me. “Senpai, you’re also no good at all. Your voice was unstable just because you got a little wound up,” she pointed out.

I grunted in pain. “Yes, I’m aware.” Giving something your all doesn’t necessarily mean the result will be good.

“Serika-senpai, you were so dependable out there!” Yamano praised.

“Yeah, you were good too. Saya, your drumming packs a punch.”

“Thanks. Then again, it’s because I practiced like hell. I repeated the same part over and over.”

As Serika had said, Yamano’s drums had guided us. Compared to Mei and me who had trepidly dragged our feet, Serika and Yamano had remained calm.

“This is the extent of our abilities,” Serika said. Her expression hadn’t changed one bit because she had long accepted it. “We just happened to perform better than expected during the school festival, but miracles don’t happen every time.”

I thought I knew that. But subconsciously, I thought I’d do better during the actual thing.

Serika thrust the obvious reality into my face. “It’s impossible to produce better results than what you practice. If you don’t practice more seriously, you’ll never be able to change the world with your music. As we are now, we can only put on mediocre concerts.”

***

A roar shook the air. I leaned against the wall at the back of the venue and absentmindedly watched the concert. There were around two hundred and fifty people standing in the pit. The cheers of the audience were like a tidal wave. The entire place swayed in time with the music, like one undulating mass. The lights flickered at dizzying speeds, and the vocalist carried a high note that sounded both sprightly and heavy at the same time; their voice clearly rang throughout the room.

I could see the stage past the audience. Maruido was currently performing. The crowd’s euphoric fervor attested to their skills. They were on a different level than us. My body trembled just from listening to them at a distance.

“Hey, everyone! Hope this song adds a little kick to your lives!”

They had meticulously acquired those skills. The singer’s voice was full of emotion. This was what a real band was.

“On to our fourth song! Let’s go, everyone! Keep up!”

The singer passionately MCed and jammed out a riff that felt like sparks scattering in the air. The snare drums cut sharply through the atmosphere, and the cymbals burst with life. The bass’s deep, heavy notes reverberated through my very core. Cheers exploded once more. Everyone in attendance lifted their arms, raised their voices, and shook the floor. All that ardor produced by their music swirled into one.

I stood there motionless as I watched that scene. The crowd’s probably already forgotten about us. Maruido’s music has the power to change the world. They’re the embodiment of what we’re aiming for. I know this band is going to make a major debut in the future and rock the world. Compared to them, we’re just a bunch of high schoolers who made a small buzz online. It’s a miracle that we even got to stand on the same stage as them. It’s presumptuous to even compare us.

No. Those are just excuses. If I were taking this seriously, I would be trying to beat them. I finally get it. I’ve learned the weight of being serious the hard way.

“They’re awesome, huh.” Serika watched the dazzling stage next to me.

“They really are.” If we want to put on a spectacle like this, then we need a big mindset change. “I’ll go talk to Mei.”

“Yeah, I’m counting on you. Saya went a little too far.”

I need to have a proper conversation with him, not one where he’s just being criticized. I left the venue and stepped outside. However, I didn’t see Mei anywhere in the vicinity of the music club. Huh? He said he was getting some fresh air, right? Did I pass him without realizing? I went back inside, headed through the lounge, and was on my way to the back room when I bumped into Yamano.

“Um, have you seen Shinohara-senpai?” she asked.

“No, I’m looking for him too,” I replied.

“When I went to the greenroom just now, his things were gone...”

“Did he go home without us?”

“I think it’s because I flew off the handle earlier and said too much.” Yamano hung her head, her face rife with anxiety.

Just then, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a RINE notification. Mei had sent something to our band’s group chat. With a sense of foreboding, I opened the message.

Shinohara@animefan: I’m sorry for holding you all back.

Shinohara@animefan: I’m quitting the band. Thank you for everything.

His message hit me hard.

Interlude: The First Round, June

The rainy season had arrived, bringing with it showers day in and day out. I was enjoying every day recently. I can say my high school debut is a success at this point, right? However, something’s been on my mind—Sakura is acting strangely dispirited lately. I feel like our entire class lacks energy because of that.

“Good morning, everyone!” Which is why I have to greet them all extra cheerfully. An extrovert’s gotta become the class mood maker, after all.

These days, I had more opportunities to interact with my classmates. Only a short while ago, I basically just hung out with Nagiura, but my high school debut couldn’t be called a success if I didn’t have a lot of friends. So, I had made an effort to be proactive in talking to anyone and everyone. At first, I was nervous because of my shy nature, but I had gradually found my footing.

“Ha ha ha... Hey, Haibara. It’s kinda annoying how hyper you are,” Hino said in a teasing tone, his smile sarcastic.

“Huh? Really?” I asked.

“Everyone’s sleepy in the morning. You’re too cheerful, and we just can’t keep up.”

Well, there’s no issue if they think I’m cheerful, right? I used to be gloomy; going a bit overboard is just right for me, I think. “I’ll be careful. Thanks for the advice!” I replied, thinking it was just playful banter.

I was able to chat pretty effortlessly with the other boys in the class by this point, but it was harder when I was talking to a girl. I just get so nervous. At this rate, finding a girlfriend will remain nothing but a dream. I want to be able to talk to them better.

I scanned the classroom and spotted Sakura, who was still abnormally down. It wouldn’t be very extrovert-like to leave her be, so I’ll try chatting her up.

“Sakura, you got a sec?”

“Huh? Wh-What’s up, Haibara-kun?”

“You seem a little down lately. I was wondering if something’s wrong.”

“Do I? There’s nothing going on with me, though!” She gave me a troubled smile and averted her gaze.

“But, you know, maybe I can help you— No, I want to help!”

“Ha ha ha, Haibara-kun, you’re so dependable. I’ll go to you if I’m ever in any trouble!”

“Sure thing, but isn’t something bothering you right now?” I persisted.

Shiratori jumped in then. “Haibara-kun, Uta’s actually been stressing about her height. Try not to remind her,” he said.

“Oh, is that what it is?” I asked.

“Hey! Rei! Don’t just say stuff!” Sakura protested in a panic.

Apparently, it’s true.

“She’s been working hard and drinking lots of milk lately. Let’s just watch over her for the time being,” Shiratori said with a soft smile. Sakura bopped him on the back.

If that’s why, then it’d be better not to bring it up too much. I can’t relate to how someone with a height complex would feel...but is it something to be that depressed about?

***

I ate lunch with Nagiura at the school cafeteria. When we returned to our classroom, I caught sight of Hoshimiya reading near the window.

“Yo, Hoshimiya. What’re you reading?” I asked.

Her head shot up with a start.

Was she that engrossed in her book? Really sorry about that!

“Oh, Haibara-kun. I’m reading a mystery called The Hero Detective.”

“Huh, sounds interesting.”

“It’s very interesting! Please give it a read!” She smiled brightly at me.

Her expressions are as animated as always. She’s so cute! And she likes books too, so I feel a sort of kinship with her. I read light novels, though.

“Haibara-kun, do you like novels?” she asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’d say so?” I wanted to show her that we had a common hobby, but I also wanted to hide that I was an otaku. Because of that contradiction, my answer ended up sounding vague.

“Really? What kind of works do you like, then?” she pressed.

“Huh?! U-Um... Sorry, nothing’s coming to mind at the moment.” Crap! I can’t think of a single normal title.

Hoshimiya smiled gently. “Oh, I get it. When you like a lot of series, you don’t know which one to say, right?” She had misinterpreted my reaction in a favorable way.

“Y-Yeah, that’s right!” I responded.

Lately, I had worked up the courage to strike up conversations with Hoshimiya every so often. She always beamed at me like the sun while we chatted, and I found her super adorable. I could feel myself falling for her harder and harder.

“I’ll give The Hero Detective a read too,” I said, trying to expand our discussion topics.

“The movie adaptation is coming out soon, so you could also try watching that instead,” she suggested.

“Huh, really?” It’s that popular? “Hoshimiya, are you going to watch it too?”

“Um... Yeah, I plan to.”

Wait, isn’t this my chance to go to the movies with her? I can’t let this opportunity get away from me. I mustered up my resolve and said, “So, hey, Hoshimiya, if you’re down, why don’t we—”

However, Nanase called out to her as if to purposefully interrupt me before I could finish. “Hikari, can I borrow you for a moment?”

Her intervention took the wind out of my sails, and I clammed up.

“Oh, Yuino-chan.” Hoshimiya swiveled her gaze away from me, onto Nanase.

Only then did Nanase seem to notice me. She apologetically put her hands together. “Oh my, were you two in the middle of something? I’m sorry, Haibara-kun.”

“N-No,” I stuttered. “It’s fine. We were just talking about books.”

“Really? Then I’m going to borrow Hikari for a bit.”

I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose, but Nanase’s timing is always awful. She often cuts in right when the conversation is getting good. And we never chat as a group of three either. I’ve stuck around a bunch of times, but Nanase only ever addresses Hoshimiya. It makes me feel awkward.

***

After school began my practice from hell. That being said, as of late, I’d built up enough stamina to barely keep up. The problem was my technique. I could make layups now, but I couldn’t shoot from a distance. When we split up into teams for practice scrims, it took everything I had to grab a rebound.

“Right on, Haibara. Nice rebound!”

“Th-Thank you very much, Yanagishita-senpai,” I managed to say through ragged breaths.

Yanagishita-senpai patted me on the back. “Looking good. You’re improving slowly and steadily!”

I had considered quitting numerous times, but I could still persist thanks to Yanagishita-senpai, a third-year. He was the captain of the boys’ basketball team and often took care of me, the worst player on the team.

“Work hard; you’ll get better. I guarantee it,” he said.

Even now, I could plug away because of him. After practice had ended, I would even stay behind to train on my own and catch up with the others. I had been rather plump at the beginning of the year, but I had slimmed down quite a lot. I was about the perfect size for fighting for the ball under the net. My speed was an issue, though.

“Listen, Haibara. The left hand stays relaxed. That’s the trick.”

“Isn’t that a Slam Dunk quote?” I asked.

He laughed boisterously. “Yep, figures you’d have heard of it. How about you give it a try?”

Formal practice had ended, and it was now the time when I trained on my own. Yanagishita-senpai was giving me shooting pointers, and Nagiura, who was supposed to have gone home, had come back. He looked like he wanted to say something as he watched me and Yanagishita-senpai practice. Is something up?

When I took a break, I called out to him. “Nagiura, you’re not going home?”

“Hey, Natsuki. Don’t get too dependent, okay?” he whispered in a low voice so Yanagishita-senpai couldn’t hear.

Confused about what he meant, I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean?”

Nagiura kept his eyes on Yanagishita-senpai, who was practicing three-pointers, while he answered. “Interhigh prelims are starting soon. This summer will be Yanagishita-senpai’s last chance. Honestly, I don’t think he should be looking after you. He should be using that time to practice instead.”

“But he’s the one who said he’d teach me...”

“Yeah, because he’s a nice guy. You should show some moderation, okay?”

That honestly pissed me off. Why is Nagiura complaining about my relationship with Yanagishita-senpai? In the first place, it’s not like senpai spends the entire time teaching me anyway. While I train on my own, he does too. Usually, the only ones who stay this late are him and me, so Nagiura probably just doesn’t know that.

“I only stay after practice because I want to improve. Yanagishita-senpai feels the same. And he doesn’t spend the entire time teaching me. We do our own thing most of the time. What’s so wrong about that?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s true, but it looks bad. We’ve got a student who’s already kinda out of place as it is, and now people are saying a certain someone’s stealing Yanagishita-senpai’s time too. I can’t keep defending you.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” I don’t have a clue what Nagiura’s talking about. It looks bad? Why? Kinda out of place? Who, me? Nah, he can’t mean me. I mean, my high school debut is a success. I’ve camouflaged as an extrovert without any problem.

Seeing my reaction, Nagiura murmured, “Don’t look at me,” and left.

Chapter 3: The Meaning of the Word Serious

It was the end of April. The cherry blossoms had fallen, and the new students had gotten used to their school life around now.

“Huh? Where’s Shinohara?”

“He said he was going to the school store today.”

My group’s dynamics were changing. Reita, Tatsuya, Mei, Kijima, and I often went to the cafeteria together. However, Mei had said he wasn’t going to the cafeteria today, and I didn’t need to ask why. It was because today was the Monday after he had declared he would quit the band and vanished.

My eyes met his when he was in the middle of chatting with Funayama-san, but that same instant, he awkwardly turned away.

“Huh...”

“Something happened with your band, didn’t it?”

The other three guys, after seeing our exchange, gave me a curious look.

“Yeah, pretty much,” I replied. It’s actually pretty major. I should try asking them for advice. “We played at a music festival this past Saturday,” I began. While we walked from our classroom to the cafeteria, I recounted the whole incident, from the troubles we’d been running into during practice, to what had happened at the concert on Saturday.

“I see,” Tatsuya murmured with a troubled frown. “That’s a tough one. Even if you all agreed on being serious, each person has their own standard for what that means.”

Reita nodded in agreement.

“If that underclassman girl’s tone is harsh, then shouldn’t she rectify that even if her points are valid?” Kijima mused. He was probably stating his thoughts verbatim.

As an aside, I had gotten close to Kijima in the past few weeks and had dropped the honorifics.

“But if they’re going to take this thing seriously, then they need to be able to stomach harsh feedback to some extent,” Tatsuya replied.

We arrived at the cafeteria in the middle of our discussion. We ordered our respective meals and took a seat at an open table.

“Look at me—there are times when I get angry because I’m taking basketball seriously.” Tatsuya jabbed his spoon into his large curry and shoveled out a big scoop. Yamano had made a similar remark.

“True, Tatsuya even snaps at our upperclassmen...” Kijima looked tired as he slurped up his ramen, likely recalling at least one specific incident.

For the record, I can’t imagine that. To begin with, Tatsuya didn’t take basketball seriously in my first round, so he never snapped at our upperclassmen. I already knew this, but Tatsuya has diverged drastically from his original history over the course of one year.

“But if the atmosphere sours and practice efficiency drops as a result,” Reita commented, “then wouldn’t it be better to not say anything uncalled-for? Look at what happened; Shinohara-kun wants to quit now.” He always put efficiency foremost, and he’d made a good point too.

“You won’t improve much if you go at a snail’s pace. Practice is quality over quantity,” Tatsuya said. “If he’s going to talk about quitting just because someone was a little stern with him, then he wasn’t ever serious from the get-go.”

“No way, that’s not how that works,” Kijima countered vehemently. “I can relate to the way Shinohara feels. Just because you’re serious doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want.”

“If you can’t give hard criticism, then it’s a load of bull crap! What would be serious about that?” Tatsuya, however, wouldn’t budge. His opinion remained firm. He and Mei had been getting along lately, but it felt like he was able to separate their relationship from the question at hand.

“In the end, I think that also has to do with how you phrase it,” Reita said, composed as ever as he worked on his karaage set meal. “Personally, I believe that you can word harsh feedback in a way that comes across as empathetic to the other person rather than hurting them.”

“Eh, guess so.” Having no objection to that, Tatsuya gave a small nod, but then continued on. “I still think anyone who’d fold from just that much wasn’t serious.”

“Still, it’s not easy to do anything seriously,” Kijima said placatingly. “It’s damn hard and painful. You drag me into your individual training, so I know that much. You’d be asking the impossible if you told everyone on the team to be as passionate about basketball as you.”

Hearing that, Tatsuya fell into a stony silence. Currently, he was aiming to become a professional basketball player. However, our school’s team wasn’t a powerhouse. It was unrealistic to expect the other members to maintain the same level of motivation as him.

“I think the word serious in itself is too vague,” Reita said with a piece of karaage in his mouth. “That’s why each person’s motivation level will end up changing to some degree. What’s necessary is a time frame and a goal. By when will you be able to do what? Making progress boils down to repeatedly asking and answering that question. You have to face reality and advance one step at a time. That’s what hard work is.”

Reita’s opinion was objective, calm, and realistic to the bone.

“I was wrong for using the word serious so lightly,” I said.

“Natsuki, what made you want to take your band seriously?” Reita asked.

“Well...because I thought it would make my days even more fulfilling.”

“In other words, you wanted to be serious not for any specific goal, but because you find value in the process of taking the band seriously in and of itself, right?” Reita’s interpretation was correct. It was exactly as he said.

“Yeah. I want to experience a concert like we had at the school festival again, and I mean it when I say I want to change the world with music like Serika says. But those aren’t the most important things for me.” I think spending my days struggling in the band seriously will make my rainbow shine. But how is that working out for me in reality? The band’s in dire straits; we’re on the verge of breaking up. “Do you think that’s weird?”

“No, everyone’s different.” Reita shook his head, not denying my way of thinking. “But that’s why you should revisit your bandmates’ reasons for taking it seriously.”

It finally clicked with me what he was trying to say. Everyone’s reason for facing music isn’t necessarily the same as mine. Serika wants to change the world with her music, so that’s why she’s taking it seriously. I know that much. But what about Yamano? And Mei? When it comes to music and our band, what do they want out of it?

If they’re just tagging along because I said we should take it seriously, then of course their motivation won’t hold. After all, being serious isn’t so easy.

“Natsuki, your band’s four in total, right? Having all four people practice seriously would be a miracle. Maybe you could do it on your own, but it gets harder and harder the more people there are,” Reita said.

I know. Mishle was a miracle band. We had a short time frame and a clear goal, so all of us could sprint at the same speed. It’s impossible for us to do the same thing now.

“I’m on the soccer team, and I keep the intensity of practices moderate. If it were any more strenuous, people would drop out like flies. Everyone has their own reason for being in a club. If there are players who are serious about winning, then there will also be players who are content with just having fun. I spoke to our coach and made a training menu taking into account each player’s motivation level. That way will foster the strongest team possible.”

Everyone belongs to their own community, and they’re bound to have different stances. Tatsuya’s basketball team is ultimately chasing after an ideal. Reita’s soccer team has come to grips with reality and formulated their optimal solution.

“Either way, you’ve only got two paths ahead of you,” Tatsuya said.

I know what he means. At present, Mei has already declared that he’s going to leave the band. We don’t have many options left. We either face reality and compromise or find a new member who’s dreaming the same dream as us.

***

After school, I went over to Mei’s desk while he was packing up.

“Mei, can we talk?” I asked.

However, he didn’t seem to have any intention of fielding a discussion. “I’ve already conveyed my intentions in the group chat. The three of you are taking this seriously, and it’s a fact that I’m holding you all back.” His gaze never met mine, and he walked past me as though he were fleeing. “Shizuki, let’s go home.”

“O-Okay.” There was a hint of dismay in Funayama-san’s voice, but she bowed to me and chased after Mei.

“What now?” I murmured. We don’t have practice today. Or rather, we haven’t scheduled anything ever since Mei said he’d quit the band. I don’t have work, so I’d like to discuss our future direction with Serika and Yamano.

I sent, “Can you guys meet up today?” to the band group chat. Serika’s reply came instantly.

Serika: Does the roof work?

Natsuki: Okay

Sidenote, Mei already left the group chat...but it looks like Yamano still hasn’t seen my message. Maybe she hasn’t noticed? I guess I’ll swing by the first-year classrooms before I go up to the roof.

I went down a flight, to the classrooms that had been ours until a month ago. The hallway in front of those familiar rooms was full of students walking around in their brand-new uniforms.

“What class is Yamano in again?” I wondered aloud. I’ll have to ask someone. I was about to resign myself to grabbing a random first-year, but as it turned out, I didn’t need to search for her. Coincidentally, a group of six girls—including Yamano—were gathered in the hallway.

“Listen, Saya. That’s not how you talk to someone.”

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

Wait, are they fighting? The mood’s tense, and some other first-years are observing them too.

“If you think I’m wrong, then explain why,” Yamano said matter-of-factly, her eyes frosty.

Upon closer inspection, it looked like Yamano was against five other people, rather than a friendly group of six. The other five girls were glaring at her.

Realizing that there were a lot of eyes on them, a girl with black hair who seemed like the leader of the five clicked her tongue and said, “You think you can say whatever just because you’re right? You’re so obnoxious,” as a final remark before she returned to her classroom. The other four girls followed after her.

Yamano was left behind in the hallway. She stood silently there with her head down.

“What happened?” I asked.

She looked up in surprise. “Senpai... Why are you in the first-year hall?”

“I wanted to discuss the band, so I came to look for you.”

“You could’ve just messaged me on RINE...” Yamano pulled her phone out of her pocket and then said in an understanding tone, “Oh, you already did. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t notice my message because she was in the middle of something, huh? “So, why were you arguing with them?”

“Who knows? I don’t have a clue either. Maybe I rubbed them the wrong way?”

I wanted to ask for something more concrete, but Yamano continued as if she were trying to stop me.

“Senpai, you stand out in the first-year hall.”

“Do I? Well, that’s out of my control.”

“It looks like you’re hitting on an underclassman when you’ve already got a girlfriend, you know?”

Urgh... I know this looks bad, but we’ve got a situation at hand.

“It’s such a bad look. Please go up to the roof first,” Yamano said impassively, and then returned to her classroom to get her bag.

At any rate, it looks like Yamano’s high school life is far from smooth sailing.

***

I went up to the rooftop. Contrary to the gloom that hung over my heart, the sky was clear. Yamano wasn’t here yet, and Serika was gazing down at the city through the fencing.

“Hey, Natsuki.” She turned around when she heard the sound of the door open. “It’s calming up here. You can feel the wind and look at the city.”

I stood next to her and looked down as well. The tranquil streets of Maebashi were spread out before us. Only Gunma’s prefectural office towered above the rest of the buildings. Although it was after school, the sky was still blue. It was near the end of April, and the days were gradually getting longer.

“It’s my fault,” Serika murmured. “Sorry, Natsuki. I was wrong. If this was how things were going to turn out, then it would’ve been better if I hadn’t gotten so hung up on being serious. It would’ve been way more fun if we had continued as we did before.” She was clearly depressed.

“I didn’t suggest we take the band seriously so we could have fun.” What I wanted was to have fulfilling days. And that means we don’t only have fun, but also go through pain and hardships. I believe that the ultimate youth lies ahead of that. “I’m still going to take the band seriously. I don’t intend to bend on that point now.”

“Then...are you giving up on Shinohara-kun?”

“Serika, what do you want to do?” I asked.

Tears spilled from her eyes, and she looked away. She wants to change the world with her music. But she’s scared of the band falling apart. That’s probably what she’s thinking.

Suddenly, someone cut into our conversation. “I’ll quit.”

We turned around to see Yamano standing behind us.

“I’m probably the one Shinohara-senpai hates. Everything’ll be solved if I just quit.”

“Not you too. Why did you jump to that solution?” I asked.

Yamano’s hair slowly swayed in the wind. Her expression was morose. “Mishle was your guys’ band in the first place. So I should leave now that I’m a problem. If I do, I think Shinohara-senpai will come back.”

I shook my head emphatically. “Nope, not allowed.”

“Wh-Why? Isn’t Shinohara-senpai more important?!”

“I’m the one who wanted us to be serious. You were just responding to my demand. That’s why you did nothing wrong, Yamano. And I don’t think Mei was wrong either. Everything was my fault.”

Reita was right. I should be more realistic. When you aim high, there will always be someone who leaves. We have no choice but to find a new bandmate who shares the same dream as us... I understand all that. And yet, I added, “It’s still too soon to give up. We haven’t listened to Mei’s side yet.”

“What’ll we do if Shinohara-kun says he’s sick of being serious?” Serika asked.

I knew what she was getting at. Would we choose to give up on being serious and stay in a band with Mei? Or would we discard Mei and take the band seriously?

“I don’t want to decide our future path before we find out how Mei feels,” I finally said. I mean, I still want to be in a band with him, with the four of us.

“Senpai, aren’t you in the same class as Shinohara-senpai? If you still haven’t heard his side, then that means he’s avoiding you, isn’t he? If that’s what’s going on, then I think it’ll be impossible.” Yamano’s opinion was unsympathetic. “It didn’t look like Shinohara-senpai was serious at all from my perspective.”

“I know,” I said.

Being serious means having the resolve to dedicate your passion on top of everything you have. It’s the attitude of not giving up even in the face of hardships and trying to overcome your limits in order to improve.

“I agree that Mei’s been lacking enthusiasm lately.”

Even I felt it, although I had my hands full with my own part. Yamano and Serika were concerned about how our music sounded as a whole, so I’m sure they felt it even more.

“But I don’t think that’s because he dislikes being serious.”

There’s no doubt that the four of us were serious about the school festival. All those days we spent practicing for it were truly fulfilling. I believe he shares the same sentiment as me.

“I want to be in a band with him.”

Were you trying to end our friendship with a message like that? That’s naive of you, Mei. Our relationship isn’t so shallow anymore. You’re going to need more than that to persuade me.

“Well,” Serika began with some hesitation. “I feel the same. I like Shinohara-kun’s bass.”

“Ideals and reality are two different things,” Yamano said coldly.

“I know that. But that’s no reason not to pursue your ideals,” I replied.

She gave me a puzzled look. “You’re brimming with confidence. Do you have a plan?”

“Yeah, more or less.” This is a real-world problem. And real-world problems are often a matter of degree. Changing white to black doesn’t necessarily solve anything. Most things are gray, and the outcome is intertwined with all kinds of factors. I don’t think our problem is a simple one that can be solved by persuading Mei to get serious. There’s one more thing we need to remedy.

“Yamano!” I said.

“Y-Yes?” Her eyes went round with surprise.

“You gave Mei a lot of harsh feedback, right?”

“Wh-What about it? Where’s this coming from? We agreed to be serious, so there’s no way around criticism.”

“True, and I’m the one who asked us to be serious. But let’s fix your bad phrasing!”

“Um...what?” Yamano drew her brows together.

She still doesn’t get it.

“Ohhh. I see... If that’s your angle, I get it.” On the other hand, Serika seemed to catch my drift and agreed.

“Whether Mei decides to continue or not is unrelated. You need to fix it for the sake of our band going forward.” If you don’t, we’ll run into a similar problem again in the future. Seeing Yamano argue with her classmates today convinced me of that.

“Senpai, didn’t I stop being harsh when you told me to? Although Serika-senpai told me I was fine as is...I trusted you and kept my mouth shut, remember?”

“Saya. Stopping isn’t the answer. You need to speak your mind,” Serika said.

“Huuuh?” Yamano was floored.

She must feel like we’re being contradictory. “Listen, Yamano. Phrasing is extremely important when you’re giving tough feedback!” Just because you’re right doesn’t mean it’s okay! The world runs on interpersonal relationships!

The instant I pointed my finger at Yamano, a strong gust of wind blew by. The flurry lifted her skirt into the air. Juicy thighs. My eyes were drawn to the light-blue triangle of cloth covering the area above her legs.

Yamano pushed her skirt down in a panic. Then, scarlet-faced, she glowered at me. “Senpai, you perv!”

G-Gunma sure does have some strong wind!

***

We parted ways with Serika at Takasaki Station and transferred to the Joshin Dentetsu Line. Gunma was a car-centric society, but the train still got pretty crowded during the evening commute home. Then again, band practice and my shifts at the café usually ended around 9 p.m., when there were hardly any people out.

Yamano and I managed to secure two seats next to each other. She stayed reticent for the majority of the train ride, until she finally asked, “Is my phrasing really that bad?” She sounded like she was in disbelief.

“Not normally, but it’s brutal when you’re giving criticism,” I answered.

“That’s probably because I’m irritated when I do that.”

“Yeah. And isn’t that why you end up choosing even harsher words?”

“Now that you point it out, I think you’re right. I fought with my friends today too...” Yamano crossed her arms, anxiety all over her face.

“What happened with those girls?”

“My friend wants to join the light music club, and she asked me for advice.”

“Really? Why don’t they join? Club observation week has already ended.”

“But she’s one of the ones who didn’t sign up because I’m in your band.”

Oh? That doesn’t sound good.

“She only wants to join the club so she can get close to you through me.”

“Wait, me?! Why?!” I exclaimed, surprised that I was involved.

“Senpai, it’s about time you got it into your head that you’re popular,” Yamano said, her tone laced with exasperation.

There are unexpected side effects of being popular, huh...

“Anyway, I don’t really care what her motives are, but she doesn’t even listen to much music, and she’s not interested in any particular instrument either. I felt like she was trying to use me. It pissed me off, so I told her that straight up.”

“Well, I understand where you’re coming from...” Of course Yamano would be a little fierce then.

“I told her she should be ashamed and that she was the trash of society.”

“Now that’s too far!” There’s gotta be a gentler way to say that, especially in Japanese!

“I just kinda snapped... I see, so my wording was the problem.” Yamano laughed, her eyes as empty as a dead fish. “I knew it. It was my fault.”

It looks like she’s taken a hefty amount of mental damage from that. I get how she feels, though. I’ve spent an entire night rolling around in bed because I regretted something I said. Heh heh heh. Kill me. Just end me, please!

“Senpai, why are you holding your head?” Yamano asked.

“Uh, I just remembered a dark moment in my past.”

“I’m not one to talk, but I’d say your dark moments are an ongoing process.”

“All right, we really need to teach you what’s okay to say and what’s not!” The truth can hurt people! Facts don’t always help!

Yamano obediently nodded and then, with a serious expression, asked, “All right, what do you think I should do?”

“You just need to watch your language, yeah?”

“Look, if it were that easy to fix, then I wouldn’t be struggling so much.”

Right. She didn’t even realize it until now. I know the feeling of becoming callous when you get heated.

“But I want to change too,” Yamano murmured. She turned to me and asked in an imploring tone “Senpai, how did you change yourself? I don’t want to repeat my mistakes from middle school.”

Yamano’s words reminded me of something. Namika had previously mentioned that there were unsavory rumors about Yamano floating around our middle school.

“So you knew about it,” she muttered when she saw my reaction.

“I heard from my little sister that there’s a rumor about you being the ringleader of some bullying.”

“Oh, right, you have a sister. She’s a year younger than me, isn’t she?”

“Yeah. That’s pretty much all I know, though. That a rumor exists, I mean.”

“Senpai, do you believe it?”

“I don’t think I need to verify it.”

“Why not?”

“Because the Yamano Saya I know wouldn’t bully anyone.”

She blinked at me. “Y’know, I kinda see how you got popular now.”

“Wait, was I pretty cool just then?” I asked smugly.

“You’ve ruined it by saying that. Oof, you’re still the same senpai I remember.” She burst into a raucous cackle for a bit, then suddenly went deadpan and looked down. “I was the one getting bullied.”

I frowned. I’d had the vague suspicion that was the case.

“I wouldn’t have been eating lunch on the roof with you if not for that,” she said.

I hadn’t asked Yamano any questions in middle school. Not because I hadn’t been curious about her situation, but because even if I had known what was going on, I would’ve been powerless to help her. Therefore, I’d given up on probing.

“My classmates were bullying me. Once, when I lost my temper, I talked back, and so it looked like I was the bully. I got reprimanded by the teacher and my parents, and then those rumors about me spread through school...”

I had hoped that Yamano hadn’t been on the roof for reasons like that. I had hoped that she’d spent so much time up there because she wanted to be alone or because she simply liked being up there.

“But I’m not holding any grudges.” Yamano kept her eyes pointed to the floor, and her tone sounded philosophical. “I mean, sure, they threw a bucket of water on me when I was on the toilet, stole my shoes from my shoe cubby, left my swimsuit on a boy’s desk, messed up my notebooks, and did all kinds of jerk moves that made me go, ‘Wow, I thought this stuff only happened in manga.’ And I honestly wanted to punch them a little...”

Scratch that—she isn’t philosophical at all. She’s clutching that grudge tightly. “That sounds awful.” All I could think to say was that bland, hackneyed line. I can’t imagine how much Yamano must’ve suffered back then. I was a loner hated by everyone, but I’ve never been bullied before.

“I’m gonna say something really embarrassing right now, okay?” she said.

We handed the train conductor our tickets and alighted at our unmanned station. There was no one and nothing in front of the station. Yamano walked a few steps forward and then turned around to face me.

“Senpai, spending time on the roof with you during lunch was my solace.” She seemed to mean every word, from what I could tell, because her eyes were a little moist.

By now, the sky had been dyed with the colors of twilight. The setting sun illuminated Yamano; her shadow stretched out behind her, and it was like her silhouette was being highlighted by the evening glow. In this surreal atmosphere, she appeared ephemeral.

“I was just minding my own business, eating lunch up there without a care in the world,” I said.

“That’s why I was happy, though. It was the one place in the entire school where I felt like I belonged...where I could let myself think it was okay for me to be there... That’s why, every day, I wished lunch break would come sooner.” Yamano’s voice quivered slightly as she recalled those days.

“I was scared to ask you why you were there because I knew I wouldn’t be able to do anything,” I said.

“If you had asked, I would’ve stopped going up there.”

Even though I had accidentally made the correct choice, I still regretted it. If my current self had been there, maybe I could’ve helped her.

“Senpai, let’s go home,” Yamano said, keeping her tone lighthearted to brighten up the mood. “My main bully was the president of the light music club, which I was a member of. We were in the same band, and I thought we were good friends. But next thing I knew, I was being hated on and the band broke up...” However, no amount of lightheartedness could reduce the gravity of this topic.

“And then it devolved into bullying?” I asked. I stayed a step behind Yamano as we headed home.

She continued walking silently for a while, then quietly said, “I bet I brought it on myself. I mean, I feel like I’m going through the same thing right now. Just like you pointed out, I must’ve been hated because I suck at wording things.”

I didn’t see what happened in middle school firsthand, so I can neither confirm nor deny. It’s hard to say that Yamano’s phrasing when her temper flares isn’t part of the issue. But... “Even if that’s true, it’s not okay to bully someone because you hate them.”

Yamano blinked at me, taken aback. “Senpai...thank you.” A wide smile spread across her face. “Do you know why I chose to go to Ryomei?”

“Didn’t you say it was ninety percent because of Serika?”

“That’s why I wanted to be in your band.”

I see. So the band and high school are separate things. Then... “Because hardly anyone from Mizumi goes to Ryomei?”

“That’s half right.”

“Then what’s the other half?” I asked.

“Because you’re here,” Yamano said, pointing at me. I thought she was joking, but she looked me straight in the eyes. “When I saw how dazzling you were at the school festival, I thought, ‘I want to become like that too.’”

Huh, I must’ve been really dazzling back then. Dazzling enough to change the lives of all sorts of people.

“I figured that if you, the scum of our school, could become that popular, then so could I.”

“Hold up. Did you just call me scum?!” We’re talking about word choice here, remember?! Okay, sure, maybe that was an accurate statement. Ugh, fine!

“I misspoke. You were like eraser shavings.”

“You didn’t need to get more specific! In fact, that’s even worse!” I quipped.

She cackled loudly.

“Stop dunking on people to hide your embarrassment,” I grumbled.

“I’m sorry. It’s the first time I’ve ever talked about myself to another person.” Yamano scratched her scarlet cheeks. Then, she looked me in the eye once again and said, “I want my high school life to go just as well as yours!”

I just realized something. Yamano sorta resembles what I was like in my first round. At this rate, her adolescence will be a drab gray, and she’ll very likely be full of regrets. But there’s something that clearly sets her apart from how I was in my first round. Yamano has me now. “All right, got it. Yamano, you just leave that to me!”

When there’s an underclassman in need, it’s a senpai’s duty to help!

“Th-Thank you a ton, senpai!”

It’s settled, then.

***

The next day, I woke up early at around 5:30 a.m. Although I had told Yamano to leave it to me, she wouldn’t have been struggling so much if the solution were so simple. I had spent the entire evening before bed last night trying to come up with a plan, but I still had nothing.

At times like this, it’s best to get someone else’s input. So I quickly changed and headed to the nearby park. I immediately spotted my target. She was walking her dog.

“Good morning, Miori,” I said.

“Ugh. Not you.”

I knew Miori always walked her dog around this time, so I had ambushed her. “Why do you look unhappy to see me?”

“Because this obviously wasn’t a coincidence.”

“You’re sharp.”

“And that means you want advice. What a pain.” Miori sighed. Nonetheless, she didn’t stop me from walking alongside her.

Her dog, who had been scampering in front of her, glanced up at my sudden appearance. Miori’s hair was down, which was a rare sight. Her long black hair reached past her shoulders to her back. It gave her different vibes from usual, and it felt like a new look.

Miori kept her gaze on her dog and asked, “Is it about Saya?”

I haven’t even said anything yet, but she already got it right. Scary. “Are you psychic?”

“You avoid coming to me for advice, so since you came to me now, it’s because I’m the only one who can help. That narrows down the possibilities by a lot.”

“I see...”

“And now you’re making that face that says you don’t know what to say.”

“Shut up! I know.” I turned away.

Miori giggled. “Also, I heard from Serika that something happened with the band.”

I see. Miori and Serika are close friends. Maybe Serika already asked her for advice.

“Saya’s lived two doors down from me since we were kids, so I know her pretty well by now.”

Miori entered the park and sat on a bench beneath a cherry blossom tree. Its flowers had already fallen. There were still a scant few petals remaining on the ground. Her dog plopped down in front of her, and she petted its head as she spoke.

“I was also slow to realize that she was being bullied in middle school. Saya always acts like nothing’s wrong when she’s with me. By the time I found out about it, we were close to graduating.”

I knew it. Miori didn’t know about this either.

“The bullying started in the third semester of her second year. That’s around when we decided what high school to attend. The bullying worsened after we graduated, in the first semester of her third year. Saya tried to fight back, but that’s how her bullies made her out to be the main bully in the second semester. After that, for better or for worse, the teachers kept an eye on her, so the bullying died down. Instead, bad rumors about Saya spread.”

“You sure know a lot,” I remarked.

“I gathered info from my underclassmen on the girls’ basketball team.”

Looks like Miori tried to find a way to help Yamano after she graduated.

“In the end, I couldn’t do a thing. Saya didn’t want my help either.” Miori wore a frustrated expression as she picked up her dog. “Here,” she said, and I obediently held it.

The dog let out a menacing bark. It didn’t seem to like me.

“I want to fix Yamano’s language,” I said.

Miori fell silent for a while. Eventually, she quietly said, “I think that Saya...by and large doesn’t have much interest in other people.” She appeared somewhat forlorn as the words left her lips. “There are exceptions to that, though. I mean, she’s taken a liking to you, right? And she likes me enough to worry about me. But Saya is fundamentally only interested in music.”

That rang a bell. Yamano was earnest when it came to music, but she was insensitive towards people’s emotions. “Are you saying that she words things so poorly because she doesn’t think about other people’s feelings?”

“I can’t say for sure. She’s the only person who can know how she feels. It’s purely speculation on my part.” Miori let the dog in my arms down onto the ground. “Anyway, if you want to solve her issue, I feel like you need to start by unraveling Saya’s true nature. If she only pretends like she’s fixed it on the surface, then...she’ll probably revert before long.”

Miori can likely explain her thoughts on Yamano so effortlessly because she’s been thinking about her for a long time.

“I need to head home and get ready for school.” With her dog’s leash in hand, she was about to stand up when she froze, her eyes glued to something. I followed her gaze to see Yamano in her uniform staring at us with an appalled expression.

Eh, she lives around here, so no surprise we might bump into her.

“A-An affair...” Yamano suddenly blurted.

“We’re not having an affair! Saya, we were discussing you!” Miori exclaimed.

I hastily followed up with, “That’s right! We were talking about how much of a handful you are and trying to—”

“Wh-Whatever RP this is, I want no part!” Yamano left us with those nonsensical words and then ran off.

***

As a second-year, it was hard for me to observe what Yamano’s high school life was like. Nevertheless, in my current state, I had other ways of collecting information.

“Yamano-san? I think she was alone all day today.”

During lunch, I had reached out to Sakata-kun, a first-year from the light music club. He was in the same class as Yamano, 1-3, and was the person most likely to know how she was doing. We sat on a sunny bench in the courtyard and chatted as we ate lunch.

Sakata-kun was an inexperienced, aspiring guitarist who I taught on occasion. Apparently he idolized me, and we chatted often. It’s useful to have connections with underclassmen for times like this.

“Yamano-san fought with Matsui-san’s group yesterday. I think it was bound to happen. Don’t worry, Haibara-senpai; I suspect they’ll bury the hatchet eventually,” Sakata-kun said optimistically, wanting to reassure me. “Plus, even if she’s in your band, I don’t think you need to go so far as to look after how she’s doing in school.”

It must look like I’m excessively concerned about my underclassman, huh? Well, not just looks like, it’s the plain truth. This is outside of a normal upperclassman’s jurisdiction. “Yeah, it’s just in case. She’s been looking down in the dumps during practice.” I’ve managed to verify her present situation, at least. As I suspected, she hasn’t reconciled with her friends in class yet.

“Haibara-senpai, you’re so nice!”

“Sakata-kun, help smooth things out between them if you can, will you?”

“I can try...but I can’t interfere much with the girls’ cliques, so don’t count on me too much, okay?”

“Figures. Thanks for clueing me in, though.”

I was about to end the conversation, but Sakata-kun stopped me with a timid “Um.” He awkwardly scratched his head and then said, “Keep this between you and me, but she’s kinda out of place.”

It sounded like he hadn’t originally intended to tell me this.

“How do I put it? Her wording is intense a lot of times... She’s, I dunno, inconsiderate? The boys don’t really mind, but girls are more sensitive to it, so there are some in our class that avoid Yamano-san. It’s not like anyone’s admitted to it openly, though.”

Hearing it from Sakata-kun added palpability, since he was in the same class as them.

“Still, it used to be okay because Matsui-san, one of the popular girls, was friends with her, but after their spat yesterday... Things might go south for her quickly at this rate.”

“I see...” The situation is more dire than I thought. If we leave things as is, it’ll be a repeat of her middle school mistakes. Yamano told me she wanted to change, and I want to answer her expectations. We better make a move ASAP. Drag our feet, and she’ll end up in the same position I used to be in.

“Then again, Yamano and I aren’t exactly friends either, so I don’t really care.” Sakata-kun shrugged. “I’ll help a little here and there, so will you give me guitar lessons again?”

“Of course. And thanks.” With that, I stood up and parted ways with him. I climbed the stairs and headed for the roof. As one would expect, going up three flights was tiring; I was a little out of breath by the time I reached the top.

I might’ve gone through all this trouble for nothing. It wasn’t like I had agreed to meet her up here. However, somehow or other, I was certain she would be there. I opened the door and stepped onto the rooftop. Then, I looked around the back.

“Yo, Yamano.”

She was eating her bento with her back leaned against the stairwell bulkhead.

“Senpai...” She looked shocked to see me and then awkwardly averted her gaze. “Need something?”

I sat down next to her.

“Senpai, I hate this part about you,” she said.

“Where’d that come from all of a sudden?”

“If you show up here, then it’s the same as it was in middle school.”

“Things are different from back then,” I said confidently.

Yamano tilted her head to the side incredulously.

“I said I’d help you change, remember?” Back in middle school, all I could do was keep you company. But the current me can become your pillar of strength.

“Did you come up with an idea, then?” she asked.

“Yeah. I call it the Yamano Saya Reform Plan!” After talking to Miori, I had racked my brain all morning during classes. How can Yamano change? There was a hint that had led me to the answer—the difference between my failure in my first round and my success in my second.

“You just named it exactly what the plan is. Whatever. So, how are you going to reform me?”

“This plan has two phases. Do you know what the first phase is?”

“Quit beating around the bush and tell me already.”

“Analysis.”

“Huh? Analysis?” Yamano gave me a blank stare.

“You need to earnestly collect data on the people you interact with.” In my first round, I barely knew a thing about those around me. All I thought of was how to make my high school debut a success. The fact of the matter was, I didn’t actually care about truly getting to know my classmates. “You don’t really know much about your friends that you’re hanging out with, do you?” Yamano shares the same disposition the past me had.

“Hmm... You think so?” she questioned.

As thickheaded as I am, now I try to observe the people around me closely. I’ve gotten to know them very well because I take genuine interest in them whenever we interact.

“It’s only been a month since school started, so I feel like it’s normal not to know much about them, though,” she said.

“One month would be enough to know about their personalities, hobbies, special skills, and clubs, right?”

“No, I don’t know any of that. I know their names, though.”

“That’s what I suspected. Listen, Yamano. It’s standard to know that much about them by now.”

“R-Really?”

“You don’t know any of that because you’re not interested in them. And when you’re not interested, you don’t try to learn about them; even if they told you, you’d forget. Yamano, your conversations with your classmates don’t last long, do they?”

“H-How’d you know?! If it’s about music, we can talk for a while, though...”

She resembles my old self way too much! You can keep the conversation going if it’s related to your hobbies, but that’s it. I can relate. “Conversations don’t last if you don’t actually care about who you’re talking to, because you don’t try to deepen your understanding of them.”

“Is it bad to be disinterested in my classmates?”

“It’s not bad, per se. You’re free to spend high school however you’d like, but you want to change, right?”

“Yes. I want to have a bright high school life like you!”

“Then you need to be thoughtful towards others when you socialize.”

“Thoughtful?” Yamano furrowed her brow. “Now that’s an alien word.”

“I know you can be thoughtful towards other people,” I said reassuringly. When Miori had gone missing last winter, Yamano had been there with us. She’d stuck around because she was worried about Miori. Because to Yamano, Miori was her precious childhood friend.

“But when it comes to people you don’t care about, you probably don’t think about their feelings.” And that’s why your words are blunt and your phrasing is awful.

“You might be right.” Yamano put down her chopsticks. “I only had music on my mind—I didn’t think about how Shinohara-senpai felt whatsoever.”

Which means Yamano wasn’t really interested in Mei. I guess it makes sense, since she joined the band for Serika.

“How is this connected to analysis?” she asked.

“It might sound paradoxical, but when you really get to know a person, you also start to care about them.” If you can be considerate towards the people you’re interested in, then all you need to do is get interested in more people!

Yamano gave me a small nod, finally understanding what I was trying to say.

“Even if you don’t care about them,” I said, “at the very least, if you know more about them, you can avoid any land mines.” For example, you won’t set off any inferiority complexes. That was one of the reasons people called me insensitive in my first round.

“If the first phase is analysis, then what’s the second?”

“Implementation. Ultimately, it’s okay that you’re not interested in others. However, if you can pretend like you do care, then you’ll be able to keep conversations alive. Likewise, it’s fine if you only pretend to be thoughtful.” I’m also only pretending to be an extrovert. And not gonna lie, besides my close friends, I don’t really care about other people. But just because you don’t care about someone, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to be inconsiderate of their feelings. Slowly but surely, I’ve come to understand this over time.

“For example, that girl you fought with... Matsui-san, was it?”

“Yep. She’s got a lot of pull in class; she’s basically the leader of the girls. I figured if I was going to make my high school debut work out, I should cozy up to her first, so I chatted her up.”

Looks like Yamano also put a bunch of thought into her behavior in order to change in high school. That’s another thing that resembles how I was in my first round. The effort is there. “Do you know Matsui-san’s given name?”

“Dunno...”

But she’s going about it wrong. That’s all. “There are four girls that usually hang out with Matsui-san, right?”

“Um... There’s Midorikawa-san, Ando-san, Makita-san, and the last one’s... Huh? What was her name again?”

Wow, you really couldn’t care less about them! This is the problem!

***

Yamano’s assignment was to analyze her classmates. She was also to reconcile with Matsui-san. I left it up to her discretion whether she wanted to stay friends with Matsui-san and her group, but she needed to apologize for crossing the line. According to Sakata-kun, she was already the odd duck out of the class, but it was still only the end of April. I wanted to believe that it wasn’t too late.

However, I couldn’t only take care of Yamano. There was another issue I needed to solve: namely, Mei. He was blatantly avoiding me, but it was inevitable that our paths would cross. After all, we worked at the same place. He could try to adjust his shifts to some degree, but our schedules would eventually overlap. And that happened the next day after school.

“Yo, Mei,” I said.

“Hello,” he replied reluctantly.

I had run into him in Café Mares’s break room. He was in the middle of changing out of his school uniform into our work clothes. I chased after Mei when he zoomed out of class. I felt like a stalker.

“I see you haven’t quit working here,” I said.

“It doesn’t hurt to have money,” he said after a small pause.

I also began changing into my work uniform as I spoke to him. “We’ve got plenty of time today, huh?”

“Yes, we do...”

Mei doesn’t look like he wants to talk, but too bad for him. No one can top me when it comes to not being able to take a hint! “Tell me why you quit the band.”

“You don’t need to hear it from me—you probably already have a rough idea.”

“I haven’t heard you say it yourself yet. That means it’s all speculation,” I responded.

Mei let out an exaggerated sigh. “It’s because it’s true that I lack the skills. Aren’t things better this way?”

“If that’s why, then I should be the one to quit first!”

Mei made a face that said, “Well... That’s true...”

Aw, come on, you’re agreeing?!

“Did you hate taking the band seriously?” I asked, my eyes fixed on him.

“No, what I hated was the way Yamano-san spoke,” he answered quietly. “I know that she’s right. I understand she said those things because my skills were falling behind. But I don’t want to be in a band with someone who talks to others like that.”

As Mei said, Yamano’s phrasing was wrong. But there was a problem with him too. That was why this whole ordeal was difficult to handle. I couldn’t simply pick a side. “That might be true, but of course she would criticize you for what happened at the concert,” I said, deliberately erasing any emotion from my voice.

Mei looked hurt. “Natsuki, so you’re going to say that too?”

“You chose the safe option without discussing it with the rest of us. Obviously, I’d be upset.” If he had done as we’d practiced and messed up, then it is what it is. But since he did something different, it’s only natural we’re dissatisfied with him. “You impulsively simplified the bass line because Funayama-san was there, didn’t you?”

It looked like I had hit the nail on the head, because Mei’s shoulders jerked up in surprise. Although there had been a lot of attendees, I could still recognize the faces of my classmates. Funayama-san had been there that night, though she was all the way in the back.

“You were scared of messing up in front of your girlfriend. Am I wrong?”

The bass line that Mei was supposed to have played was indeed difficult. But Yamano had pointed it out to him multiple times. Getting told off about the same part over and over meant that he hadn’t improved. When he had walked onto the stage, it was with the knowledge that he still had a high chance of blundering, so he’d gotten scared.

“’Cause I thought it’d be better than messing up...”

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe it is better than messing up. In actuality, we put on a decent performance. However...”

Mei averted his eyes. I knew it. He’s different from how he was during the school festival.

“We can’t call that being serious, can we?”

Mei, having finished changing into his work uniform, left the break room first. I decided that now was not the time to reinvite him to the band, not when he was trying to dodge the issue. However, I had no idea whether or not I’d said the right thing.

***

Mei was unapproachable after that. He worked in silence, and whenever I tried to call out to him, he erased his presence to disappear entirely. Now that’s just terrifying. At this rate, even if I suggest he rejoin the band, he’ll obviously just shoot me down. What now? My agonizing was interrupted by a ding from my phone.

Funayama: May I have a moment of your time to talk?

It was a message from Mei’s girlfriend. She must’ve added me on RINE through our class group chat.

Natsuki: Is it about Mei?

Funayama: Yes. He told me that he’s quitting the band...

Natsuki: Got it. When is good for you?

Funayama: Mei-kun told me that you’re both currently working. Is that right?

Natsuki: Yeah

Funayama: Do you think you could stay after your shift ends for a little bit?

Natsuki: I’m not off until past nine though, is that okay?

Funayama: Yes. I live nearby.

After I set up a time to meet with Funayama-san, I put my phone away. Makes sense that you’d be worried when your boyfriend suddenly announces that he’s going to quit his band.

“Hey now, Haibara. Why are you slacking off?” my manager reprimanded me.

“S-Sorry! I’m on it!” I hastily returned to work. After that, it was the dinnertime rush, so I had to hectically cook dish after dish. Finally, after my shift ended, Mei and I both got off at nine. We didn’t say a word in the break room.

“Well then... I’ll take my leave first.” Mei finished changing before me, bowed slightly, and left the room.

“I’m going to stick around for a little,” I told the manager, and ordered a melon soda. I had considered getting coffee, but if I drank caffeine this late, I likely wouldn’t be able to fall asleep.

The door chime rang, and Funayama-san entered, wearing street clothes. She had on a band T-shirt and a miniskirt. Her long black hair was tied up behind her head. Her casual appearance was a complete about-face compared to the usual diligent student aura she exuded, and I was caught off guard. Her long and slender thighs, however, were dazzling.

I cleared my throat, switched mental gears, and waved at Funayama-san. She approached me and then lowered her head, her expression apologetic.

“I’m sorry for contacting you so late at night. I had to talk to you before it was too late,” she said.

“It’s fine. I also wanted to talk to you. Come on, take a seat.” I urged her to sit down and handed her the menu.

“I’ll have an iced coffee,” she said.

“Is it okay for you to drink coffee this late?”

“I’ll be fine. Caffeine is a staple, so...”

I recoiled. “What? Yikes...”

Funayama-san smiled.

I can’t tell whether she’s joking or being serious, but I missed my opportunity to say something witty. I coughed and got us back on track. “You came to watch us play the other day, right?”

“Yes, because Mei-kun invited me. I had fun.”

She doesn’t sound like she’s being polite. I agree the music festival was a fun event... No thanks to us, though.

“After the event, he suddenly said that he’d quit the band. I found it strange. It wasn’t like the performance was a flop. But Mei-kun only gave me a vague explanation, so...” Funayama-san’s face fell.

I see, so Mei hasn’t told her. What should I do? If he’s hiding it from his girlfriend, then I probably shouldn’t blab. If I do, the situation might get even more complicated. “Did Mei say anything else?”

“Um... He said that he didn’t want to be in the band anymore if he was going to get attacked like that, and then he got depressed. So I gave him head pats, but he wouldn’t tell me the reason...”

Mei... Dude, your girlfriend really coddles you, huh.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. “It sounds like I’m bragging, doesn’t it?”

“Nah, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I am a little curious about my friends’ dating lives!

The door chime rang again.

Huh, it’s already past nine. We rarely get new customers at this time, even though the café closes at ten.

As I was thinking that, I heard someone say, “Whew, that was close. I almost forgot my—”

It was Mei. He stood petrified by the door, his eyes on us. Funayama-san, who had her back to the entrance, gave me a puzzled look. Wondering what had happened, she turned around and instantly locked eyes with Mei.

“Huh? Natsuki and...Shizuki?” he said.

“Y-Yo, Mei. I just saw you!” Uh-oh, isn’t this very, very bad? He just strolled in on his girlfriend meeting up with his friend alone late at night.

“G-Good evening, Mei-kun...” Funayama-san must have thought the same, because her voice had gone up a pitch.

Mei did a double take, rubbed his eyes, and looked at us once more. Then, tears streamed out of the corners of his eyes. “A-Are you cheating on me?! Oh my god, talk about insult to injuryyy!” he screamed and bolted out of the store.

“W-Wait, Mei-kun! You’ve got it all wrong! There’s a reason for this!” Funayama-san frantically ran after him.

The manager, standing behind the counter, silently glowered at me. I bowed apologetically to all the customers who were still in the café.

***

What kind of situation is this?

Mei and Funayama-san sat across from me. On top of everything, Funayama-san was desperately trying to pacify a dissatisfied Mei.

“Shizuki, you met up with Natsuki alone...” he griped.

“A-And that’s why I’ve been apologizing!” she replied.

“And you’re dressed in casual clothes that I’ve never even seen before...”

“N-No girl would ever want to dress like this in front of her boyfriend!”

Uh, I also thought you were dressed way too sloppily, though. What I do glean from watching them interact is that Mei’s jealousy runs deep. “Like we already told you, we were talking about you.”

“I understand the reason, but still...” No matter how many times we explained, Mei remained openly sulky. “Natsuki is handsome, so I was worried you’d get taken away from me, Shizuki.”

Funayama-san and I peered out the window without making eye contact.

“I don’t have any confidence in myself,” Mei muttered.

Funayama-san placed her hand on top of his. “Don’t worry, Mei-kun. I’m in love with you.”

“Shizuki... You mean it? You like me more than Natsuki?”

“Yes. I mean every word.”

The two of them gazed into each other’s eyes. In front of me. What the heck are they forcing me to witness?

“It may be true that Haibara-kun is better at studying, more athletic, more handsome, taller, has better social skills, is kind, and also a great singer, but regardless of all that I—”

Uh, don’t you think you’re praising me too much? I think you’re overestimating me a lot too.

“I knew it! I’m not better than Natsuki at a single thing!” Mei broke out into a bawl.

“Ack! No! I’m trying to say that even though all that is true, I still love you more!” Funayama-san exclaimed, frantically trying to cheer him up.

This is too chaotic. Then again, I’m at fault here. “Hmm, this guy’s such a pain!”

“Huh?! Natsuki, you just called me a pain, didn’t you?! I knew it! I knew you thought of me that way! You think the band doesn’t need me!”

Crap, I accidentally said my thoughts out loud!

Mei whimpered like a dog while Funayama-san patted his head.

Actually, seeing how my friends act as a couple is kinda graphic. I don’t think I like this. I sighed and said, “Mei, of course I don’t think we don’t need you.”

“But you were mad at me!”

“I’ll get mad at you if there’s a reason to be.”

Funayama-san, still petting a disgruntled Mei, asked me, “What happened? Please tell me.”

“Mei, can I tell her?”

He looked a little distressed, but nodded his head in resignation. I gave her the same rundown I’d given Tatsuya and the boys when I’d asked them for advice. Funayama-san listened quietly, her expression solemn.

Once I’d finished, she closed her eyes in silence. She opened them shortly after and quietly said, “Based on what you’ve told me, it’s true that Yamano-san’s phrasing is an issue.”

“Yeah. She’s currently working on fixing her language,” I said.

Mei, who hadn’t said a word during my explanation, grumbled, “Can she really fix that? I think it’s in her nature.”

He knows he has nowhere to run now that Funayama-san’s here. It’d be lame as hell if he dashed off without saying a word, and he’s gotta protect his pride as a man... I’ll set aside the fact that he already looks hecka lame having his head patted by his girlfriend.

“Put yourself in my shoes for a moment; I was barraged by her harsh remarks for weeks. Come on, Natsuki, she berated you quite a lot too. Doesn’t it piss you off? Aren’t we her upperclassmen?” Mei took a swig of his cola as if he were drunk.

“I knew this already,” I commented, “but you’re the type to bottle up your emotions, huh.” He detests Yamano a lot more than I thought. “Do you hate Yamano?”

“Well, I certainly don’t like her,” Mei said, sulkily turning away. “As long as Yamano-san’s in the band, I won’t return.”

“But she speaks harshly when she gets heated because she’s giving you her honest thoughts, right?” Funayama-san said. Surprisingly, she was trying to reason with him. “In that case, shouldn’t you listen to what she has to say?”

And here I thought she was only going to pamper him because of all that head patting!

“If you’re going to do something seriously,” she continued, “then it’s par for the course to receive blunt feedback. When I was in the volleyball club in middle school, my coach often yelled at us. But I know that was to spur us into improvement. That’s why I don’t resent my coach,” Funayama-san said matter-of-factly. She was practically expressionless as she spoke. It was a little scary.

“Sh-Shizuki, you’re siding with them too?!” Mei exclaimed.

“Mei-kun, it’s my duty as your partner to guide you in the right direction if you’re wrong,” Funayama-san replied firmly.

Well now, is that really a partner’s duty? Isn’t it more of a parent’s or teacher’s role?

“Mei-kun. You told me to root for you because you were going to take the band seriously moving forward, right?”

“Urgh.” Mei nodded, flustered. “Yes. I did say that.”

“I was looking forward to it. I fell for you because I saw you playing bass at last year’s school festival. I wanted to see you, not just at the music festival last week, but also how you would grow in the future. Are you already going to quit despite all that?”

Mei whimpered weakly.

Funayama-san is hecka scary when she’s laying on the logic! Mei’s shriveled up so much that he’s beyond recognition.

“Mei-kun, you said you’d be serious, but you’re currently all talk. Haibara-kun said so too.”

“I didn’t say that!” Don’t just put words in my mouth! Okay, sure, I thought something similar!

However, neither seemed to have heard me. Mei and Funayama-san were stuck in their own world.

“Mei-kun, I know you have a weak mentality. And I know you feel hurt when someone speaks harshly to you. But it’s not good to run away. Please do your best to face your problems and learn how to fix the things that people point out. That’s what it means to be serious about something.” Funayama-san spoke slowly and clearly as she tried to reason with him.

I think she could be a teacher when she grows up. Her words hold a lot of sway.

“Yes... I’m sorry.” Mei nodded, tears trickling down his face.

“You meant it when you said you wanted to be serious, right?” she asked.

“Yes... I want to put on the best performance ever with everyone.”

Hearing Mei’s honest desire put me at ease. It’ll all be fine if he says that. We can do this together.

“In that case, please confront your issues head-on. If you’re scared, I’ll be there for you.”

“Ungh... Okay. Please do.”

This is totally a conversation between a parent and their child.

Funayama-san, having convinced Mei, turned towards me and bowed her head. “I’m sorry about my child.”

“Your child? Did you just call Mei your child?” I quipped.

She ignored my retort with a soft smile. “It seems like he has the motivation for the band, so please let him rejoin.”

I can’t tell if that was a joke or not! This isn’t what I intended to happen, but it looks like things worked out. I guess what he needs is a dependable girlfriend. “I’d like to hear that from the man himself.”

At my urging, Mei rubbed the corners of his eyes with his sleeve. Then he fixed those swollen, red eyes directly on me. “I’m sorry, Natsuki. I don’t want to quit the band after all. I want to play music with you guys.”

“Will you be okay playing with Yamano again?” I asked.

“I know that Yamano-san has been pursuing music far more earnestly than me.” Mei squeezed his eyes shut and then reopened them. This time, he had a powerful glint in his eyes, having made up his mind. “That’s why I’ll face her harsh feedback head-on as well. All this time, I’ve been making excuses and running away. But I’ve realized that I can’t make the music I want that way.”

“Then...this time, let’s truly take the band seriously.”

I offered him my hand, and he slowly extended his own. Funayama-san clapped warmly as she watched us shake hands. Our boss, who was still behind the counter, looked like he wanted to say “Good grief” and shrugged his shoulders.

This is kinda embarrassing. And we made the manager worried during our shift today... Oh, you know what, I just thought of an idea. “However, there’s a condition you have to follow to rejoin.”

Mei blinked at me. “A condition?”

“You have to help us rectify Yamano’s language,” I said, suggesting the plan I’d just come up with.

“Huh?!”

“Isn’t that what bothers you the most about the band?”

“Yeah, but wasn’t this whole conversation about accepting that kind of harsh criticism and working hard? What’s the point of going through this if Yamano-san fixes her language?”

“There’s a difference between criticism and just being mean.”

“To be honest, I’m a little scared. But it’s more like I’m really uncomfortable around her.”

“And that’s exactly why we need to fix her language if we’re going to play together for a long time.”

Mei looked a little hesitant, but Funayama-san gently placed her hand on his back. He nodded. “All right. If you say so, Natsuki.”

They have a nice relationship. A pair of lovebirds who support each other. I hope Hikari and I can be like them.

“Thank you so much, Shizuki. And I’m sorry for worrying you,” Mei said.

“It’s fine. However, as punishment, I’m instating a ban on dates for a while,” she replied.

“Wh-What?! I can’t live without you, though!”

She paused. “Well, if you’re going to insist that much, then I’ll allow a few dates.”

I changed my mind... Maybe I don’t want us to be a pair of stupid lovebirds like them. Left out of the conversation, I decided that I would never gush over my girlfriend in front of my friends.

***

Next morning.

When I entered my classroom, Mei called out to me. “Good morning, Natsuki.”

“Morning, Mei.” It feels like it’s been a while since we chatted in the classroom.

“About what we discussed yesterday, what am I supposed to do, anyway?” he asked.

Last night, the café had been about to close, so the three of us had been kicked out. It was too late for high schoolers to be chatting on the side of the road, so we’d swiftly parted ways. Hence, I hadn’t explained anything to Mei yet.

“Right now, we’re in the middle of executing the Yamano Saya Reform Plan,” I said.

“That’s quite on the nose naming,” he remarked.

You people need to shut up! Names are best when they’re easy to understand! I summarized the plan to Mei. “So basically, the two phases are analysis and implementation.”

“It’s a simple plan. Are you sure it’s going to work?” He still looked dubious after hearing everything. “And hold on. By that logic, Yamano-san didn’t care about me whatsoever, right?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“That’s terrible! We’re bandmates! Not that I’ve rejoined yet, but still!”

“Which is why we need her to care about you. You need to show Yamano that you’re a really interesting guy.”

“I don’t feel like this is going to work at all!”

I couldn’t believe Mei had said that about my perfect plan.

“Then again...” he murmured pensively. “I’ve always felt like there was a weird sense of distance between Yamano-san and myself.”

Serika had recruited Yamano, while I had already known her. It was definitely true that she and Mei weren’t particularly close.

“She was something like a friend of a friend to you, huh. Even though you two have been in the same band for half a year already,” I said.

“Are you trying to tell me that I don’t have any social skills?! I already know that!”

“That’s part of it, but it’s also true that Yamano wasn’t interested in you.”

“I can understand how this happened, but you don’t need to state the obvious!” Mei half cried.

Forgive me. This is the important part.

“Well look at that,” somebody commented. “You guys made up already.”

“That sure was fast.”

Tatsuya and the boys made wisecracks as they watched us banter.

“Leave me alone!” Mei shot back, embarrassed.

Meanwhile, the gears in my head began to turn. Last night, I told Serika that Mei actually does want to rejoin the band. However, we can’t just let someone who once said they were going to quit back in that easily. At the very least, Mei should tell Serika that himself in person. That’s why he’s in limbo right now. And considering our future, it’s essential that Mei and Yamano get closer. I want to clue Serika in on the situation too. Therefore, it’d be better to gather everyone in one place.

“Okay, Mei. We’re going to hold our first band meeting!” I exclaimed.

He sighed and shrugged in resignation. “I don’t really understand what’s going on, but I’ll trust you on this.”

***

After school.

The four of us gathered at a family restaurant in front of the station. We ordered french fries and the drink bar and settled ourselves in for a long stay. Mei, Yamano, and Serika were all awkwardly taking furtive glances at each other.

“Okay, let’s kick off our first band meeting!” I clapped my hands, but no one else joined me. Tough crowd.

“Um, Natsuki. Could you lay off the excited act?” Serika admonished me curtly.

“Sorry...” I hung my head. The three of them were being super awkward, so I was just trying to amp things up.

Serika disregarded my dejection and asked Mei, “Is it true you want to come back?”

“Yes. I’m sorry for frivolously saying I would quit,” he replied.

“Are you prepared to take the band seriously?”

Mei looked Serika in the eyes and firmly answered, “I am. At the very least, this time I’ll do it right.”

“Did Natsuki talk you into it?”

“No, I didn’t really say much,” I told her. It’s the truth. Funayama-san is the one who persuaded Mei.

“My girlfriend gave me a scolding. That’s when I realized that I was just running away, and that I was all talk about being serious. So I want to turn over a new leaf and give this another shot.”

Serika scrutinized Mei closely for a while. She was the leader of our band. In the end, if she didn’t approve, Mei wouldn’t be able to rejoin. I gulped audibly as I watched her.

“Dummy.” Tears spilled out of Serika’s eyes.

“Huh? Uh, Serika-senpai?!” Yamano exclaimed, taken aback by our leader’s reaction.

“Do you know how distraught I was?” Serika asked.

Mei blinked at her in surprise. “Wh-Why would you be? You’re only losing someone like me...”

I knew how Serika felt about our band. She was more sensitive than those around her thought, and I was aware of how terrified she was of the band breaking up. But I also knew how badly she yearned to play music seriously regardless of all that.

“Don’t put yourself down like that,” she told Mei.

So I knew that Serika had been miserable when Mei had said he would quit.

“Shinohara-kun, of course I’d be sad without you.”

Mei often puts himself down by saying “someone like me” because he thinks that even if he were gone, it wouldn’t cause any problems. But he’s wrong. Mei is an important friend of mine. And Serika feels the same way.

“You’re our precious friend. Get that in your head first,” I said. I knew that excessively low self-esteem could breed friction, so I urged Mei to realize what he meant to us.

“I’m sorry. I’m reflecting.” Mei lowered his head once more.

“Serika,” I prompted.

She wiped her tears with her sleeve and replied, “Yeah. I’ll allow Shinohara-kun to rejoin.”

Mei raised his head, visibly relieved. “I look forward to playing with you all again.”

That’s one issue settled...is what I wish I could say, but that’s easier said than done. “Yamano. Don’t you have something to say to Mei?”

Her shoulders trembled with a start. “Um... Shinohara-senpai, I said too much that night. I’m sorry,” she said and bowed.

“No, it’s fine,” Mei answered. “Everything you said was right. I was wrong for changing the bass line in the middle of the concert. It’s a fact that I did that. I was wrong for running away from your words.”

“But... I shouldn’t have phrased it like that.”

Surprise colored Mei’s face. He likely hadn’t expected her to admit that herself.

“I want to change too,” she said. “I don’t want to stay like this, hated by other people.”

“Right then. Yamano, did you do the homework I assigned you?” I asked.

“I did as much as I could...” Yamano pulled her smartphone from her skirt pocket and handed it to me.

She had a note-taking app open on her screen. Written there was an itemized list of her classmates’ names, personalities, hobbies, and so on. She had filled all of that out, in detail, for forty people.

“Isn’t this way too much?!” I exclaimed.

“Huh? But you told me to investigate my classmates,” she replied.

Oh yeah. Unlike me, Yamano’s not bad at socializing. That’s why she doesn’t struggle to talk to others when she needs to.

“Senpai, I sort of understand what you meant now. When I chatted with my classmates to learn about them, I noticed our conversations lasted longer than before.” Yamano smiled in earnest, recalling what had happened then. “And when people realize that you’re trying to get to know them, they’re happy to talk more.”

“Trying to learn about the other person is a fundamental conversation skill,” I said. Looks like she’s easily completed phase one of the plan. “Did you reconcile with Matsui-san?”

“About that... It didn’t work out. I tried to apologize, but...” Yamano’s face fell.

Looks like that was a bust, huh. Well, Yamano did say too much. At least she understands that it’s not something anyone would easily forgive her for.

“Wait, are you getting into arguments with your classmates too?” Serika asked quizzically, unaware of what had been going on.

“Well, you see...” Yamano explained her situation to Serika.

Once she’d finished, Serika wore a dismayed expression and groaned. “Hmm. If I had to say, you’re in the wrong here, Saya.”

“Yeah, figures...” Yamano said.

“But what you said isn’t exactly unforgivable... How did you apologize to her?” Serika asked.

“How? Uh, normally?”

Her reply gave me a bad feeling, so I cut in. “Can you reenact what you did?”

“Reenact it? Sure, I guess... Senpai, pretend you’re Matsui-san.”

“Okay.”

I faced Yamano, and she cleared her throat with a cough. Then, she suddenly closed the distance between us and enthusiastically exclaimed, “Matsui-san, I want to get to know you more! Also, I’m sorry about the other day!”

“I see...” I glanced at Serika. She was making a baffled expression. I glanced at Mei. He was clutching his head.

“Huh? Was that weird?” Yamano asked.

“Okay, Yamano,” I began, “why don’t you think about how Matsui-san felt at the moment?” I feel like I’m teaching a class on morals.

“How she felt? Uhhh...”

“If you can’t picture it, then imagine yourself in her position.”

“So I should pretend like I was Matsui-san? Ummm...” Yamano continued to hum and agonize, a frown on her face. Then, she suddenly gasped when realization hit her. “My apology was thrown on at the end, so did she feel a little upset?”

“Yeah, that’s right.” Whew. I don’t know what we would’ve done if she didn’t get that much!

“I see... Why didn’t I realize that?” Yamano went pale as she registered what she’d done.

Why didn’t you realize? I know why: Because you’re the same as me. But rather than me telling you, I want you to figure it out yourself.

“Don’t tell me, Saya. Are you...” Serika murmured as a light bulb went off in her head.

Uh-oh, she might blurt out what I was purposefully keeping quiet about. I didn’t stop her in time, and Serika finished her thought.

“Are you even more insensitive than me?”

Well... That might be true too. That’s not what I thought she’d say, but oh well. To begin with, Serika isn’t even as inconsiderate as she says she is. As the king of the Country of Inconsideration, I guarantee it.

“Huh?! That’s not true!” Yamano cried out in surprise.

The hell do you mean that’s not true?!

“The fact that you’re trying to deny it shows just how insensitive you are,” Mei pointed out in exasperation.

Yamano froze, absolutely floored.

I’m trying to do something here, not whatever this clown fiesta is! “Anyway, Mei, Yamano, since we have time, why don’t you two get to know each other?” These two could barely be called bandmates, so I want them to get closer.

They sat across the table from each other, eyes locked in silence.

This is super awkward.

“Um, the way you two are staring at us is anxiety inducing,” Mei grumbled at me and Serika, who were rubbernecking from the side.

“Now, now, don’t mind us,” I replied and popped a french fry in my mouth.

Mei reluctantly turned back to face Yamano again. Unable to bear the silence any longer, he asked, “Um, what is your hobby?”

“Huh? Is this a marriage interview?” Serika quipped in an amused tone.

“Hey, Serika! No unnecessary comments from the peanut gallery,” I said and covered her mouth. Anyway, Yamano is being awfully quiet. Then again, Mei quit the band because of the things she said, so maybe she’s choosing her words carefully.

“Playing the drums is my hobby. I guess that much is obvious, though,” Yamano answered.

“Oh, uh... Then what kind of music do you like?” Mei asked.

“I’ve been listening to Silent Siren and Blue Encount a lot lately.”

“Ohhh, I see.” Mei was wearing a face that said, “I know they’re both really good bands, but I honestly don’t know much else about them...”

Yeah, it’s hard to find something to say in times like these.

“What about you, Shinohara-senpai?”

“I like Oasis. I mainly listen to western music.”

“Ohhh, I see.” Now Yamano’s face said, “Western music, huh? I don’t really listen to it much...” She shot me a troubled look, and I pointed at Mei, trying to encourage her to get to know him. She got my message and pushed on. “Can you give me a few Oasis songs that you like? I’d like to listen to their stuff.”

“Oh, really?! Man, all their famous stuff rocks, so I don’t know what to recommend first. For newcomers, I think you have to start with Stop the Clocks. It’s a greatest hits compilation album that was released in 2006, and you can see how they evolved after their debut song, ‘Supersonic,’ and...”

Yep, Mei’s a plain old music otaku. Get him into his comfort zone, and he’ll turn into a chatterbox.

Yamano looked shocked to see Mei act like this, but then an entertained smile spread across her face. “Ha ha ha! Gotcha! Then I’ll listen to their best album!”

“Shall I lend it to you in that case? I have two copies at home, one for safekeeping and one to use.”

“Wait, you sure? Please and thank you, then!”

“In exchange, tell me about the bands you like, Yamano-san.”

“Oh, then I’ll also lend you an album I recommend, so let me know what you think...”

Eating fries, I watched Yamano and Mei launch into a lively conversation. Suddenly, my eyes met Serika’s. She was drinking cola through a straw, swaying from left to right. Looks like she’s having fun. Serika picked up her phone and typed something. My phone vibrated. She had sent me a private message via RINE.

“I’m glad they’re hitting off,” it said.

They both like music, so they were bound to get along, provided they had the opportunity to talk. If anything, it’s strange that they didn’t become friends earlier. I’m sure Yamano cares about Mei now. She probably thinks he’s more interesting than she expected. Trying to get to know someone will draw out parts of them you didn’t anticipate before. And sometimes learning more about someone will be the spark you need to care about them. It’s even more important to put in the work when dealing with people like Mei, who won’t open up about himself unprompted.

I wanted Yamano to learn this on her own. That’s why I asked Mei to help her fix her wording problem.

After all, making an effort to get to know others is important; it’s how you learn to be considerate of their feelings.

Interlude: The First Round, July

The rainy season came to an end, and summer arrived.

Ever since my minor argument with Nagiura, things had become awkward between us. I had lost my go-to conversation partner in the classroom. I could have chatted with Hino or Okajima, but they usually hung out with Nagiura. Also, Nagiura was spending more time with Sakura and Shiratori lately. The three of them were from the same middle school, so it was hard for me to jump in.

Wait, do I have fewer close friends than I initially thought? It feels like I know a lot of people, but only to a shallow extent. Then again, I was a loner in middle school, so I’d say I’ve changed immensely. I’d like to have deeper relationships, though.

Eh, I’m sure Nagiura and I will patch things up eventually. We’re both on the basketball team, after all. More importantly, I really want a girlfriend. A girlfriend is an absolute necessity if I want to have a vibrant youth.

There are a lot of cute girls in this class, but I’ve gotta say, Hoshimiya’s the one for me. I feel like the mood has been good between us lately too. She always smiles whenever I strike up a conversation.

Summer vacation is starting soon. Once school’s out, I might not be able to see Hoshimiya for a long time. But if I start going out with her before the break, I’ll be able to see her whenever I want... Okay! I’ll muster up the courage and confess to her.

I feel like it’ll go well. Besides, an extrovert has to be proactive!

***

My chance to confess came right away.

Hoshimiya and I were chatting after school in our classroom when, next thing I knew, we were the last two students in the room. We had been talking for so long that I had a feeling I was late for practice.

“Um, Haibara-kun, don’t you have practice?” she asked.

“Oh, it’s fine. Chatting with you is way more fun,” I replied.

“Ha ha ha... I’m happy to hear that, but you better go soon.”

Practice is important, but confessing to Hoshimiya is higher on my priority list.

I scoured the room one last time to make sure no one else was around, and faced Hoshimiya. A warm breeze wafted in through the window. Her chestnut-brown hair swayed gently. She peered at me with her clear, jewellike eyes, confused as to why I had suddenly fallen silent.

She tilted her head to the side. “Haibara-kun, is something wrong?”

My mind made up, I extended my hand to her. “Hoshimiya, I like you. Will you go out with me?”

She stared at my hand in surprise. Then she put on a troubled smile and lowered her head. “I’m sorry, Haibara-kun. I just want to be friends.”

Wh-What?! I thought I had pumped enough points into her affection meter, though...

When Hoshimiya saw the astonishment on my face, she awkwardly averted her gaze and said, “Um... If that’s all you wanted to say, I’m going to go home, okay?”

“Y-Yeah... Sorry for springing that on you out of nowhere.”

“I appreciate the sentiment. I really do. But I’m sorry.”

“D-Do you have a crush on someone else?”

“No, that isn’t why...”

She doesn’t like anyone else, but I still got shot down? So basically she’s saying I’m not even worth considering... How did it turn out like this?

“A-All right, then. Um, see you tomorrow?” Hoshimiya spared me a glance where I stood stock-still, and then fled the room.

Wait... Am I not as well-liked as I thought?

***

It took a while for the rejection to sink in, but sadness gradually took root.

Man, I don’t feel like doing anything. It’s like nothing matters now that I can’t date Hoshimiya. I joined the basketball team to become popular. If my crush doesn’t like me, then maybe it’s finally time to quit. I sluggishly went through the motions of practice, such thoughts running through my mind all the while.

“Hey, Haibara! What’re you doing?! Focus up!”

I was already down in the dumps from a broken heart as it was, but being reprimanded by the upperclassmen demotivated me even more.

Nagiura came up to me and gave me a warning. “Natsuki, what’s wrong? You’re the worst player on the team, so if you don’t show some drive, you’re gonna be in for it.”

I know that much, but I can’t shift gears so easily. Sigh after sigh involuntarily left my lips.

Nagiura watched me with an incredulous expression. “If you’re not motivated, then quit.” He turned around and got back to practice.

What a coldhearted guy. He should’ve at least tried to console his heartbroken friend.

I wasn’t in the mood to stick around for individual training, so I returned to the clubroom to change clothes. I was about to open the door, when I heard voices coming from inside.

“Dude, what is Haibara’s deal?”

It was Kijima-kun’s voice.

“It’d be one thing if he just sucked, but he didn’t have any spirit today. We should kick him out already.”

“We can’t. Yanagishita-senpai is looking after him.”

“Yanagishita-senpai’s just doing that to look out for the team’s atmosphere. We don’t need that loser on the team.”

One after another, teammates who I had considered my friends continued making similar remarks.

“Huh...?” I couldn’t open the door. My mind went blank. I simply stood there in a daze.

I usually stayed behind in the gym for extra practice, so they probably hadn’t thought I’d return so soon. Or maybe they didn’t care if I overheard. The clubroom bubbled with trash talk directed at me.

I heard footsteps. Before I knew it, Nagiura was standing behind me. He pushed me out from in front of the door, his expression devoid of emotion.

“Sorry, man, but I can’t stick up for you anymore. Besides, you piss me off,” he said, and entered the clubroom.

I stood off to the side, still unable to move for a good while. Sure, I had been demotivated today. But this wasn’t just because of that. Frustration about me must have been building among the team since a long time ago. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have talked about me like that.

It finally hit me. I had been too slow to realize. Or maybe I had pretended not to notice:

My high school debut was a total failure.

***

Perhaps I had been out of my mind this entire time. When I finally woke up to reality, my failings were thrust into my face. My world was dyed gray. The bright rainbow I had seen was just a figment of my imagination.

“Look, that’s the guy. I heard Hoshimiya-san rejected him.”

“Wait, seriously? Shooting out of his league much?”

“Apparently, he confessed to her in their classroom after school. Hasegawa said she saw it happen.”

“It was so obvious that he had a thing for her, but that’s some audacity. He’s got me in stitches!”

Everyone was laughing at me. They all knew I could hear them gossiping, but no one cared about that anymore. Now that even Nagiura had washed his hands of me, I had nowhere to belong in the classroom any longer. I was even more miserable than when I had merely been a loner in middle school.

It had taken me far too long to realize several things.

For some time now, virtually no one would ever speak to me first. I had always been the initiator in conversations. I had thought that was necessary to be an extrovert, so I hadn’t noticed anything strange about it. But if they had been my friends, normally they would’ve chatted me up too. The fact that no one ever did meant that they had never considered me their friend in the first place. That held true for Hino, Shiratori, Okajima, Sakura, Nanase, and Hoshimiya too.

The one person who ever struck up a conversation with me was Nagiura and only Nagiura.

At least, until yesterday. Today, Nagiura wouldn’t even acknowledge me when we made eye contact. It had taken me this long to realize that Nagiura had been my only friend. And being shot down by Hoshimiya was the final nail in the coffin—everyone was flagrantly trash-talking me.

When did I become so hated? It wasn’t like this in the beginning. I’m pretty sure people talked to me around April and May. But before I knew it, the people around me vanished.

Summer vacation began the day after I saw the reality of my situation.

The boys’ basketball team lost in the third round of prelims, and the third-years retired. With Yanagishita-senpai gone, I had no one who would stand up for me. I became air. Despite that, no one openly disparaged me on the team. More precisely, Nagiura was keeping them in check.

I didn’t quit the team. Though I knew no one else wanted me there, I wished to live up to Yanagishita-senpai’s expectations, and little by little I was finally coming to enjoy basketball. My high school debut was a failure, so pouring my energy into basketball was all I had left.

If I were to quit the team now, I could envision a summer vacation where I did absolutely nothing. That future terrified me much, much more. At the very least, I wanted to add meaning to my life with extracurriculars.

Summer vacation eventually ended, plunging me into my second semester. No one gossiped about me anymore. Now that I was aware of where I stood on the social ladder, I stopped trying, and people lost interest.

No longer a source of entertainment, I turned into air.

Why did things end up like this? That question whirled around in my head every day.

***

As I lived my adolescence in drab gray, eventually the final realization dawned upon me. I replayed and reflected on my high school debut day after day.

Why did I fail? What did I do wrong?

The answer was simple. I had looked down on others. Thinking back, I concluded that everyone had given me many hints that I would be in trouble if I kept up my act. I hadn’t heeded any of their advice—because I hadn’t even realized it was advice in the first place.

Why hadn’t I seen it? Because I wasn’t interested in others. The only thing I cared about was making my high school debut a success. To me, my peers were just tools to add color to my youth. Not even Hoshimiya was an exception to that.

I truly did like her; there was no doubt about that. But I’d confessed to her because I wanted a girlfriend as an accessory. I had thought that dating was essential for a glorious high school life.

Camouflaging as an extrovert had been the only thing on my mind, and I hadn’t paid attention to the people around me. Meanwhile, everyone else saw exactly how I was. That was why they had distanced themselves from me once they’d noticed my true nature.

I know. It’s all my fault. It was going well in the beginning. No, actually, I just assumed it was going well. That’s why I got cocky. As a consequence of my hubris, everything fell apart.

I could still vividly remember the decisive moment when everything started going downhill.

I was an idiot. That was all.

From then on, I devoted myself to living an upright life. However, I knew that regaining lost trust was much harder than building it fresh with someone new. In the end, my naive rainbow-colored dreams died, and my high school life stayed the same dull gray from start to finish.

I’d been haunted by these regrets ever since, and I’d probably stay haunted until I died.

Chapter 4: Stray Luminous

In swept May, and our band practice recommenced. Mei and Yamano were getting along a lot better than we’d expected. As for how exactly close they were...

“Haibara-kun, this is your fault!”

Funayama-san had gotten jealous of Yamano and was now upset at me. I felt like I could practically see an intimidating “RUUUMBLE” sound effect looming around her in true manga fashion as she berated me.

“Say what you like, but isn’t it better for bandmates to be on good terms?” I replied.

“They’re too close now! I’m supposed to be his girlfriend!”

“Now, now. It’s not like there’s anything romantic between them,” I said.

“Maybe, but they chat so intimately during lunch break! The line has been crossed!”

“Tell that to Mei yourself...”

“I can’t complain to his face! What if he ends up hating me?!”

“You were plenty stern with him when he rejoined the band!”

“And that’s exactly why I can’t tell him that he shouldn’t be so friendly with her!”

The spark that had lit her fuse had occurred mere moments ago. Yamano had come to our classroom for their album exchange. She had taken Mei right out the room with her in the process, and they’d walked together like they were having the time of their lives! Naturally, Funayama-san had looked on in shock.

Miori came over to where Funayama-san was unleashing her complaints and resentment onto me.

“I totally get it, Shizuki-chan. It’s discomforting enough that your boyfriend’s band consists of two boys and two girls as it is, but now you’re seeing him get chummy with one of the girls too? That would make anyone feel insecure.” Miori nodded understandingly, nestling up close to Funayama-san as she scornfully leered at me. “On top of that, the chief instigator is right here. The gall!”

“I get it already. It’s my fault...” I said.

However, Funayama-san regarded Miori with a lifeless stare and said, “I don’t want to hear that from the side chick who makes other people feel insecure...”

It was an instant KO. Miori was down on the ground, her hands on the floor.

“Wait a sec, Funayama-san! That was a bit overkill, don’t you think?” I exclaimed. Just because it’s the truth doesn’t mean it’s okay to say whatever you want!

Funayama-san snorted indignantly.

Sh-She’s fallen into darkness.

“You know, I think I can understand how Hoshimiya-san feels now.” Funayama-san glared at me.

Miori, who had suddenly swung by to make fun of me, returned to her desk with her head hanging. She’s been getting knocked out by friendly fire a lot lately. I feel so bad for her.

Mei returned just then, holding the album he’d borrowed from Yamano in one hand, and cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Did something happen?”

***

After school.

We had band practice today. By the time I entered the second music room, the others had already begun setting up. When Serika noticed my arrival, she paused in tuning her guitar and said, “I’m writing a new song.”

Mei and Yamano looked up, giving her their full attention.

“I want this song to be for the four of us,” she continued.

“So is this song going to rep our band?” I asked.

Serika nodded. “Yeah. It’s our debut song for our new band, to show that we’re not Mishle. This song is for Saya replacing Iwano-senpai, which is why she’s going to write the lyrics.”

“What?! Me?!” Saya exclaimed.

“You can ask Natsuki for help,” Serika replied.

If she’s going to be so adamant about it, then I guess I gotta. “I’ll help you, Yamano.”

“Uhhh... Are you even any use?”

“Hey!” I lightly smacked Yamano’s head. “I’ll have you know I’m the one who wrote the lyrics for ‘Monochrome’ and ‘To the Star’!”

“I know that much. You’re the only one who could write such embarrassing lyrics.”

How dare she! Mei said the exact same thing!

“We also need to seriously put our heads together and come up with a band name,” Serika said.

“Oh, I’ve got a suggestion. What do you think about Youth Rocket?!” I unveiled the best idea I’d landed on after ruminating for three days without sleep. It screams high school band while simultaneously oozing a refreshing vibe. It’s the perfect name!

“Um...”

“Yikes, that’s lame.”

Their reactions were heartless. Mei cringed, while Yamano bluntly insulted my idea.

“Hey! Phrasing!” I admonished her.

“Sorry, my true thoughts just slipped out.” Yamano scratched her head and forced a smile.

“Natsuki, that one’s on you just now,” Mei said.

“Mei, you’re siding with her?! Why?!” Since he was allying himself with Yamano—for reasons beyond me—I turned to Serika. “It’s not that bad of a suggestion, right?”

However, she wouldn’t meet my gaze. “Right then, let’s get practicing.”

My idea that I’d poured my heart and soul into was supported by no one. I sobbed as I set up my guitar and mic.

“Shinohara-senpai, I’m going to be strict about the parts you simplified during the concert, okay?” Yamano warned.

“I’ve been practicing, so I can play it now,” Mei replied.

The atmosphere in the room was leagues better than before. I knew it! Yamano can think about other people’s feelings provided that she’s interested in them. Look at her now—the fact that she’s warning him in advance that she’ll be harsh shows that she’s being considerate. She’s not the only one who’s changed either; Mei’s drive is on an entirely different level than before.

Serika was also watching the two of them with a warm smile. The mood here was really nice. However, that didn’t mean it was lax. Needless to say, we were focused during practice, so it wasn’t exactly harmonious or peaceful. We used our words only to relay necessary information, and used music to communicate the rest.

Mei could now flawlessly play the parts he had struggled with before. He must’ve practiced a ton. His improvement put a satisfied smile on Yamano’s face.

Doing something seriously is tiring, but fun. I feel like the four of us share that sentiment now.

***

All but one of our issues had been solved. Yamano still hadn’t made peace with Matsui-san, and she was on her way to becoming the class loner.

“Which means it’s time for phase two of the Yamano Saya Reform Plan: implementation,” I said.

“Are you seriously still going on with that plan?” Yamano asked.

“How dare you even question it!” Okay, true, you’ve suddenly become a master at the implementation part!

That was probably because Yamano now viewed Mei as an important friend. However, although we’d resolved the issues within our band, her relationship troubles with her classmates wouldn’t magically go away. Yamano’s greatest problem was that she unconsciously looked down on those she had zero interest in. Perhaps, like me, she only saw them as tools to improve her high school life.

But even if I pointed that out to her, she wouldn’t truly understand it. Hence, I wanted her to realize that for herself. If she reached that answer on her own, she would never forget it. I was basing this off of my experiences in my first round. As Yamano’s upperclassman, I should guide her so that she can piece together the actual crux of her problem.

“How the heck do I write lyrics?” Yamano grumbled on the train ride home.

Serika’s song was already nearly complete. It was a pretty standard classic rock song. The lyrics Yamano came up with would decide the direction of our band.

“Do you have anything you want to convey right now?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” Yamano replied.

“For example, when I wrote the lyrics for ‘Monochrome,’ I poured in my feelings about how my youth used to be gray, but now it gleams with a myriad of colors thanks to everyone around me.”

“O-Ohhh! I see.”

I’m sort of retconning that explanation, but it’s definitely true. “As for ‘To the Star’... I wrote about my feelings for Hikari.”

“Yeah, I picked that up right away. That was just a love letter.”

“Apparently, Hikari always listens to it on YouTube before she falls asleep every night.”

“Uh, big yikes.”

Don’t say that about someone’s girlfriend! I’ve never thought that before. Okay, maybe just a little. “Anyway, if you have something you want to convey to others, you can turn it into lyrics.”

“So I should come up with a theme. Hmm...” Yamano crossed her arms and groaned with a deep frown. Then her eyes suddenly widened. “I want to change. So I want to put that desire into words.”

So that’s her answer. It’s simple, but I think it’s a theme that’ll strike a chord in other people’s hearts. “That sounds good.”

“Yeah! Okay, I’ll mull over it!” Yamano opened her note-taking app as she hummed excitedly. However, she didn’t move a muscle for a while, continuing to stare at the white screen. “Nothing’s coming.”

I feel that. It’s not easy to write something just because you’ve decided on the theme. Still, I’ve got two songs under my belt. During times like this, you need to dig deeper into your thoughts. “Yamano, how do you want to change?”

“I want to shine like you do!”

“What exactly does ‘shine’ mean here?”

“Well... I want to experience a sparkly high school life. I want lots of good friends, a hot boyfriend, and to succeed in the band... Something like that?” Yamano covered her face with her hands. “When I say it out loud, it’s totally obvious that I’m hungry for other people’s approval. I’m getting embarrassed...”

“You’ll get used to it in no time.”

“That’s actually convincing coming from the person who wrote the lyrics for ‘To the Star.’”

“Shut up.” I put on a show of loudly clearing my throat with a few coughs before moving on with the conversation. “How do you think you need to change to make your life shine, then?”

“Become a considerate person like you said?”

“Sure, if you can do that, you’re more likely to succeed.”

“Then I just need to turn that into lyrics!”

“But what does it mean to be considerate?”

Yamano paused. “Is it being nice to others?”

“And how do you become someone who can be nice to others?”

“Think about their feelings...?”

“Yamano, do you normally live your life thinking about other people’s feelings?”

“No...”

“Then how do you get yourself to keep others’ feelings in mind?”

Yamano’s expression transformed over the course of our back-and-forth. With narrowed eyes, she stared out the window. She was surely reflecting on her past behavior.

“Pay more attention? To other people?” The answer she’d arrived at resembled my own.

“Yeah,” I murmured. It also means you need to hold some level of interest in the people around you. I told Yamano something similar before, but it didn’t stick at the time.

“Senpai, I’ll think about what you said more.”

Yamano’s questioning the way she’s been up until now. She’s wondering if she was wrong, and that’s why it’s starting to stick.

“I hope you can write some good lyrics.”

And I’m praying that you can change, and obtain the days you desire.

***

This is about all I can do. As curious as I am, I can’t just go to the first-years’ classrooms to take a gander. What happens next is all up to Yamano. I know that much. But I can’t help worrying, though! I keep wondering if there’s anything more I can do for her.

I walked around the courtyard during lunch break, such thoughts spinning in my mind.

“What’s with you, Haibara?”

My pacing was interrupted by a voice. I turned around to see Iwano-senpai eating a bento on a sunny bench.

“I-Iwano-senpai! It’s been a while,” I hastily greeted him.

He finished chewing and said, “C’mon, sit down.”

I obeyed and took a seat next to him.

“Long time no see,” he told me. “You look like you’re doing well. That’s good.”

“You too, Iwano-senpai. How is studying for the entrance exams?” I asked.

“It’s okay. I got a B on the recent mock exam. I need to work harder.”

“You got a B this early in the year? Isn’t that super good?”

“That’s what my teacher said too, but my grades will fall if I let my guard down.”

As always, he’s serious to the point of being clumsy about it.

“But it’s essential to take breathers. So I can listen to whatever’s on your mind,” Iwano-senpai said between mouthfuls of his lunch. “Haibara, did you eat already?”

“Yes. I just came from the cafeteria.”

“I see. That’s good.” Iwano-senpai placed his bento box—which had been emptied out in the blink of an eye—next to him and murmured, “I heard from Hondo that you guys played at a music festival. Sounds like you’re all working hard.”

I put on a strained smile. “Yeah, a lot happened, though...”

“What happened? If you’re open to it, why not tell me about it?”

It was a delicate issue, but I didn’t hesitate to disclose it to Iwano-senpai. I quickly told him everything.

After I’d finished, Iwano-senpai hummed thoughtfully as he rubbed his chin. “Friction caused by a difference in skills and disparity of intentions, huh? It’s a common problem in bands.”

When he describes it like that, I can say I’ve definitely heard about stuff like this happening often.

“At any rate, I’m glad you guys worked it out. You’re lucky romance wasn’t involved.” Iwano-senpai’s eyes glazed over and took on a distant look for some reason.

He must’ve witnessed a band struggling with romance problems, huh...

“It sounds like the drummer you found to replace me with is quite the troublemaker too.”

“Yeah. She’s not a bad kid, though.”

Iwano-senpai scrutinized me closely and then suddenly broke into a smile. “If there’s one thing I can say for sure, it’s that I understand why she’s so particular about Shinohara’s skills, since he’s part of the rhythm section. The drums and bass are the supporting foundation of a tune, after all.”

That’s true. I’ve seen Iwano-senpai critique Mei multiple times. But he was always courteous when he pointed things out, so Mei never felt like he was being attacked.

“I try to be considerate with how I phrase things. People are already scared of me because of my face,” he said.

Yeah, I feel like Iwano-senpai is always polite. He doesn’t talk much, but you can tell he chooses each word carefully.

“Now that you’ve stepped outside the light music club’s boundaries, the skills expected of you are going to be much higher than when you played with me. I think that’s why Yamano was giving such harsh feedback.”

“That’s definitely true... It’s been problem after problem lately,” I said.

“But you decided to challenge those high hurdles, right?”

I nodded and directed my gaze at the school building. From the courtyard, we could see the first-year hallway through the window.

Iwano-senpai watched me kindly. “Are you worried about Yamano’s school life?”

I hesitated before answering. “Yes. I can’t stop worrying about whether it’s going well for her.”

He laughed. “You’re acting like her dad.”

If this is what it feels like to be a parent, then raising kids must be really hard.

Iwano-senpai lightly hit my back. “Relax, Haibara. Based on what you told me, you’re being a good upperclassman.”

I wonder how many times he’s repeated his life. I’m supposed to be the older one mentally, but I don’t feel like it.

“All that’s left is to believe in her.”

You know, I suddenly feel at ease.

“If you give her instructions every step of the way, you’ll end up overprotective.”

“You’re right...” I’ve done everything I can. It’s an upperclassman’s duty to believe in his underclassman.

***

A week passed after that; it was currently lunch break.

I was on an empty staircase landing.

“I understand what you’re saying...” said Sakata-kun, a first-year of the light music club, “but why’d you call me over here?”

“Because I’m worriiiiiied!” I bellowed, full of woe. I had been so overwrought with anxiety that I’d summoned Sakata-kun again. Logically, I understand what Iwano-senpai said. Believing in Yamano is an important duty. But this has nothing to do with that... The current situation is weighing on my mind too heavily!

Sakata-kun sighed. “Looks like she’s got a good upperclassman too.”

Now that I’d disclosed everything to him, an exasperated smile spread across his face. “Y’know,” he told me, “I really looked up to you. I watched the school festival video before I enrolled, and I thought you were super cool. You made me want to try picking up the guitar. That’s why I joined the light music club.”

“This is what I’m actually like. I’m sorry...” I’ve disappointed another underclassman.

“Eh, it’s true that you’re different from what I expected, but...” An amused smile spread across his face before he continued to speak. “But I don’t dislike it.”

I don’t really get it, but I guess I didn’t disappoint him?

“Anyway, I think she’ll be fine.” Sakata-kun took a few steps down from the staircase landing and peeked into the first-year hallway. “Perfect,” he muttered and pointed down the hall.

I followed him down and peered into the hallway. There was a group of girls gathered in front of the class 1-3 room, one of whom was Yamano.

“Looks like she made amends with Matsui-san,” I remarked.

Yamano was smiling in the ring of people.

“I told you before that she was kinda out of place, but she’s been awfully attentive to what everyone in class says these days. Everyone is pretty fond of her now.”

I watched the scene unfold before me as I listened to Sakata-kun speak. Paying attention to her classmates was the assignment I gave her. “Thank god.” At least I can have peace of mind now. Her friend troubles should be solved. All that’s left is for her to find that hot boyfriend she said she wanted. Well, you know, baby steps. It’s only been a month since she started high school. I let out a relieved sigh.

“You know... Looking closely, Yamano’s pretty cute, huh?” Sakata-kun murmured quietly.

My eyes darted to him. There was a certain tenderness in his gaze as he watched Yamano. On top of that, he was handsome.

“I-I won’t hand our Yamano over to you, got it?!” I exclaimed.

“H-Huh?! Haibara-senpai, who are you to say that?!”

I’m just her upperclassman.

***

We didn’t have band practice today, meaning I was scheduled to work. I rarely ever had a day for myself, but I felt fulfilled. I was walking in the direction of the station to Café Mares, when...

“Um, senpai!” Yamano ran up to me. It sounded like she’d been searching for me.

“Yamano, what’s up?” I asked.

“Listen to this! I made up with her!” She beamed at me wholeheartedly and told me how she’d reconciled with Matsui-san.

“Glad to hear it,” I replied. Looks like she’s rejoined Matsui-san’s group... Well, I already knew that because I was watching from down the hallway with Sakata-kun. She’d probably get creeped out if I told her that, though, so I’m going to pretend like I had no idea.

“I finally realized something... I was looking down on everyone else,” Yamano said quietly.

Surprised, I glanced at her, and our gazes locked. She peered back at me with clear eyes.

“And I finally understand that you were nudging me towards seeing that.”

Well look at that! Yamano’s really matured.

“That’s why I put in the work to face each person one by one. Including Matsui-san.”

In my first round, I never figured out this flaw of mine during my entire three years of high school. She’s doing way better than me.

“And when I did, I naturally bridged the gap. After I apologized for going too far, Matsui-san apologized back. She said she had been insensitive given that I’m part of the light music club. I didn’t think that was true...but I was happy that she was being considerate of my feelings.”

Even now, my regrets from my first round are vividly etched into my mind. But if my experiences can be of some use to Yamano, then all that failure was worth it. “Good for you. I can rest easy now.”

Yamano looked around like she wanted to say something.

“Did something else happen?” I asked.

“Um, I tried writing some lyrics...” She showed me her smartphone screen with a slightly abashed expression.

I took her phone out of her hands, and we walked together. Her notes had “Stray Luminous” written at the top in English letters.

“Stray...luminous?” I sounded out the words uncertainly.

“Apparently, it means an outcast that shines,” she responded.

The lyrics plainly spelled out Yamano’s desire to change. On top of that, she had straight up written about how I’d been there to support her when she was going through a hard time in life, how grateful she was for me, how she wanted to become like me, and how much she admired me. Furthermore, she had written that she was able to change little by little, thanks to me.

No matter how I tried to interpret it, this was a love song. I could feel my face heat up. Yamano walked alongside me without saying a word. She was facing the road, but her ears were red.

In the end, all I could muster up was “Th-This is pretty good?”

“R-Really?! Thank you very much!” She laughed loudly, trying to hide her embarrassment.

“Your feelings, um... They come across loud and clear!”

“D-Did you get it?”

“Yeah, more or less...”

“I-I see...”

We both fell silent.

This is awkward. I didn’t know Yamano felt so intensely about me! And I didn’t expect I’d learn about it through the lyrics of our new song!

“Th-Then I’ll report to Serika-senpai that I’ve finished writing the lyrics!”

Are you sure you want to submit these as is? The question floated to mind, but Yamano’s face told me it was too late for her to turn back now. Besides, this truly was something she wanted to convey. Above all, as the lyricist of “To the Star,” I had no right to object.

“C-Cool, you have work now, right?! See you tomorrow!” Yamano, unable to bear the awkward mood any longer, ran off with her face still bright scarlet.

“Y-Yeah...” How the heck am I supposed to react after you showed me lyrics like that? You know, all of a sudden, I think I understand how Hikari felt.

***

The next day after school, the band gathered in the second music room. Serika was the first to speak up.

“Saya, I read your lyrics,” she said.

“Wh-What’d you think?!” Yamano asked.

“They were packed with your feelings. I thought they were good.”

“Th-Thank god!” Yamano rubbed her chest and let out a sigh of relief.

“You know Natsuki has a girlfriend, right?” Serika pointed out.

Yamano’s face instantly reddened. “I-It’s not like that!”

So those incredibly intense lyrics aren’t meant in a romantic sense? That’s a huge weight off my shoulders. Not gonna lie—I had my suspicions. I mean, come on! It sounds exactly like a love song!

“It just means I like him, um, as a senpai!” Yamano added.

“Gotcha. For a moment, I was worried we’d have to deal with unrequited love issues in our band,” Serika said.

Sounds like Serika was shaking in her boots too. Then again, we nearly lost a member only a few days ago. Of course she’d get anxious.

“Yamano-san.” Mei regarded her with a sympathetic look. “It’ll work out next time for sure.”

“Don’t treat me like I just got rejected!” Yamano lightly bopped him on the back.

I’m glad they’re getting along.

“Well,” Mei said, “there is something that’s been on my mind all this time, Yamano-san. Natsuki is the only one you call ‘senpai’ without anything attached to it, whereas you address all your other upperclassmen by name plus ‘senpai.’ Why do you do that?”

You’re bringing that up now? Admittedly, I’m a little curious about it too.

“I’ve also wondered about that,” Serika joined in. “It’s kinda obvious that you only treat Natsuki special.”

“I know, right! I’ve been wondering for ages why no one has pointed that out.”

Yamano stood still as a rock, her face bright red. “Why...” Tears began to trickle down her cheek. “Why would you even say that?!”

“Uh-oh. Shinohara-kun, you made Saya cry.”

“It’s my fault now?! Hondo-san, you just agreed with me!”

“Mei, you shouldn’t bully your underclassman,” I said.

“Natsuki, not you too! I was just curious about it!”

Finally, Yamano quietly said, “Haibara-senpai is my number one senpai because he stayed by my side...”

The room fell silent, and the atmosphere was stifling.

“Wh-Why isn’t anyone saying anything?!” she cried.

“Oh, I just found your feelings so purehearted.” Mei awkwardly averted his eyes.

I should probably say something here, but I’m struggling to come up with anything. “Uhhh... Thanks, Yamano?”

“I didn’t do anything that deserves gratitude, though.” Yamano fidgeted this way and that, looking not entirely displeased.

“Anyway, the song title is really good,” Serika said as she pointed to “Stray Luminous.”

Always marching to the beat of her own drum...

“Let’s make it our band name,” she added.

“Huh?!” Yamano yelled, her tone borderline hysterical.

“Wouldn’t it be cool if our debut song was the same as our band name?”

We aren’t debuting, nor do we plan to. That aside, I think there are quite a few bands whose first songs are the same as their name.

“This stuff is all about vibes. What do you guys think?” Serika asked.

“Sounds good to me,” I said in agreement. “It’s cool, and it is true that we were outcasts.” Serika, Mei, Yamano, and I all have a history of being misfits. And we all want to shine.

“I also think it’s a good name. It’s much better than Youth Rocket,” Mei said.

Don’t compare it to my idea for no reason! That’s just mean.

“It shortens to Stray Lumi, which sounds kinda cute. I like that.” Serika nodded to herself as she appraised her idea.

“A-Are you guys sure about an idea that came from me?” Yamano gawked at us in consternation. “I think you guys should come up with the band name, since you’re older than me...”

“Why? What’s the point of splitting hairs like that?” Mei asked. Although he looked somewhat sheepish, he continued on. “Yamano-san, aren’t we all bandmates?”

“Shinohara-senpai...”

“None of us are going to complain about a band name coming from one of our members,” he said.

Hey, weren’t you flagrantly ridiculing my superb idea—Youth Rocket—only seconds ago? No one noticed my silent fuming, and the atmosphere in the room warmed up amiably.

“Let’s go with that, then. From now on, we’re Stray Luminous.” Serika directed her gaze to me. “Okey doke. Make an announcement on our social media.”

Okay, make a post that our band is changing from Mishle to Stray Lumi. And also mention our new song.

“I’ll tweak the melody to fit with the lyrics,” Serika said.

“Oh, I can totally change the lyrics. Just let me know!” Yamano exclaimed.

“Saya, I could never do something as inhumane as forcing you to rewrite your love letter.”

“Again, it’s not a love letter!”

One of the downsides of shoving your emotions into the lyrics is that it’ll expose everything.

Serika glanced at the clock as she teased Yamano, and then clapped her hands to get our attention. “Okay, let’s start practicing our new song. If you have any suggestions on how to improve it, say so without hesitation. We’re going to adjust the music to go with the lyrics.”

The mood transformed, and our idle chatter was replaced by practice. Yeah, it’s important we can flip the switch like this when we want to be serious. If the atmosphere was constantly heavy like this, we would be too on edge all the time and it’d wear us out. Know when it’s time to work and when it’s time to rest! We’ve been able to do that lately.

“Our next goal is the light music club’s concert. It’s in two weeks, so I want to be ready by then,” Serika said.

The light music club put on a concert every two to three months. It was attended by club members and their friends. This show was on a much smaller scale compared to the music festival we had participated in. People unaffiliated with the school weren’t allowed to enter an event held in a school clubroom. At most, there would be forty attendees.

Even so, a concert was a concert. It would be a fitting start for Stray Luminous.

***

And so, two weeks passed in the blink of an eye. The day of the light music club’s concert was here. It was being held on a Saturday afternoon, and we had spent the morning hectically setting up our equipment. The club had slotted Stray Lumi as the headliner, as if it were a given. Man, we’re being treated like the club’s ace!

I was playing hype man for our opening act, a first-year band, while simultaneously working behind the scenes.

“Natsu, we’re here!”

While I was running around, Uta and Miori entered the room.

“Oh, you made it,” I said.

“We had practice today, but we came right after it ended!” Uta exclaimed.

They were both in their school uniform, but they must’ve just changed out of their gym clothes, because they each had a towel hanging around their neck.

These two smell like deodorant. We’re only halfway into May, but it’s steadily getting hotter.

“I’m just here for Serika. I don’t particularly care how you do,” Miori told me.

What’s with the tsundere act? Is it me, or has she been all over the place lately?

“’Sup.”

“Hello, I see you’re all here already.”

Tatsuya and Reita came in next.

It was right around the time when those who had morning practice were finishing lunch and assembling here. In addition to my friends, other students were arriving one by one and filling up the venue.

“Natsuki-kun!”

“Hello, Haibara-kun.”

A short while later, Hikari and Nanase also joined us. Neither of them had extracurriculars, but they had made the trip to school anyway. Even though I’d told them about the event in advance, I was still thrilled that they had actually showed.

“What the heck? Everyone ended up coming,” I remarked.

“Yeah,” Tatsuya said. “I had practice at school anyway, so might as well drop by.”

“I came to cheer for you, Natsuki-kun!” Hikari told me.

I happened to be on break, so I chatted with the crew outside the clubroom.

“What’s with you, Natsuki? You’re grinning,” Tatsuya said.

“Oh... I’m just happy that you all came.” I’m glad we can still get together like this even though we were split up in our second year. It’s kinda embarrassing, but I’m moved to bits.

“Natsu, you’re always so sappy,” Uta said, feeling a little shy herself.

Reita shrugged. “Natsuki’s just that kind of guy. He can’t help it. He’s painfu— I mean, wet behind the ears.”

“Why’d you even bother rephrasing?” I asked.

He smiled.

Does this guy think he can get away with anything just by smiling?

While we were chatting, Serika came to fetch me. “Natsuki, we’re almost up,” she said.

I peeked into the clubroom to see that the band before us, the Clock Ups, were beginning their turn.

“Break a leg!” Hikari said supportively, her clenched fist raised in front of her chest.

So damn cute! “Thanks.” I nodded and left the circle with Serika.

“Enjoy the show,” Serika said with a wave. “We’re totally in the zone.”

Apparently we’re in the zone now?

***

Though we were called the headliner of the concert, we were only the sixth band playing, so our turn came sooner than I anticipated. Plus, the starting first-year band had only had a month to practice, so they’d performed just one song. They did pretty decently, but this sort of thing comes with experience, so I hope they keep plugging away.

We took our spots onstage. The clubroom was crammed full of students. Evidently, people expected a lot from us. It was intimidating to see the audience packed together this close-up.

“We’re Mishmash Leftovers, reborn as Stray Luminous.” I began MCing as I checked the mic volume. “We changed our name because one of our members changed after last year’s school festival.”

I took in the audience. The front row was filled with light music club members. Hikari and the others were assembled somewhere around the middle. And Yamano’s friends were in the back of the room—Matsui-san and her girls had come as well.

“Our drummer, Iwano-senpai, retired to study for his entrance exams, so taking his place we have Yamano, a first-year.”

Yamano energetically pounded on her drums when she was introduced. There was a smattering of applause. Someone yelled, “Saya, you got this!” from the back row. Yamano smiled softly as she twirled her drumsticks.

“On the bass we have Shinohara Mei.”

Mei skillfully slapped out a few bars. Funayama-san stood at the end of his gaze, waving her hand.

“On the guitar, Hondo Serika.”

Serika ad-libbed a phrase from Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love.” She did a great job pumping up the audience and then pointed into the crowd—straight at Iwano-senpai, who had come without my noticing. He gave us a thumbs-up.

“And the vocalist is me, Haibara Natsuki. We’re continuing band activities with these members.” After I made that announcement, the light music club members spearheaded a wave of powerful applause for us. “On to our first song. It’s a new one, ‘Stray Luminous.’”

Since everyone took time out of their schedule to come, we better put on a killer performance and make them smile. My gaze drifted from Serika to Mei, and then to Yamano. Yamano nodded and smacked her sticks together thrice. With the song Yamano and Serika wrote, we’re going to change everyone’s world!

***

The fun lasted for what felt like a split second.

“Saya! You killed it up there!”

“R-Really?! Girls, thanks a ton!” Yamano, surrounded by Matsui-san and her other friends, was effusive.

I watched her with my arms crossed.

“You act like you’re her dad,” Serika said, standing next to me.

“She doesn’t feel unrelated to me, for some reason,” I replied.

Her lips curved into a smile. “Thanks, Natsuki.”

“What for?”

“Our band didn’t break apart thanks to your efforts.”

“Eh, I just didn’t want to let go of it.” This band has become an important place where I belong. I won’t give up on it that easily. I hope the four of us keep at it for many years to come.

“It was a good concert,” Serika said contently.

“We’re only just getting started.” It wasn’t good enough to be called miraculous.

“Yeah, I know.”

Nevertheless, I definitely felt something. We’re advancing steadily. “Our journey is going to continue for a long time.”

“Our dream’s to play at the Nippon Budokan, right?”

“Uh, I think you’re dreaming too big there.”

“Dreams are better when they’re bigger. Didn’t anyone ever teach you that?” Serika thrust her fist out at me.

I bumped mine against hers.

“Hey! Why are you guys getting all emotional, just the two of you?! Let me in too!” Mei, who had just finished flirting with Funayama-san, ran over.

“We weren’t getting emotional,” Serika said.

“Yeah. Mei, I think you’re just imagining things,” I agreed.

“What?! You two just fist-bumped!”

“What’re you guys talking about?! Don’t forget about me!” Yamano had returned as well while we were busy yammering loudly.

The four of us chatted until our club president, Shikano-senpai, called out to us. “Hey! Haibara! The light music club’s going to have a wrap-up party. You guys in?” he asked.

The other three nodded, and my hand shot up into the air. “Of course!”

Taking the band seriously, giving it our all, and putting on out-of-this-world concerts—that joy is something I can share with my bandmates, who’ve toiled away alongside me.

Today, our high school life is another vibrant rainbow.

Final Interlude: The Correct Future

Five years had passed since I’d become a working adult. I was now twenty-eight years old and doing well at my job—there was even talk about promotion. Perhaps things were going surprisingly well because I had made it a rule to never turn down an invitation to go drinking. I didn’t think I made a particularly interesting conversation partner, but my boss had taken a liking to me for whatever reason.

I couldn’t erase the regrets I carried about my youth, but I was still living fulfilling days nevertheless. Work was tough, but rewarding. I had found employment at a large construction company as an overseer for water and sewer construction. Overtime was a frequent occurrence, but I had nothing to do at home anyway, so I was suited for this position. Perplexingly, those who had entered the company at the same time as me had been disappearing one by one.

“Haibara, where are you off to?”

“The construction plan is done for the project we discussed earlier, so I’m taking it to the government office.”

“Then could you swing by Kudo’s site on your way? Apparently, he’s on the verge of tears because the people on-site are giving him a tough time. He’s still only in his second year, so we’ve gotta babysit him.”

“All right.” You look like you’ve got time on your hands. Why don’t you go? However, I was merely a mid-ranked employee in his sixth year, so I couldn’t talk back to my boss. I want to help out my junior anyway. At any rate, looks like I’ll be working overtime again.

When I entered the ward office’s water and sewer division, Maruyama-san, the person responsible for construction, noticed me. “Hey, Haibara-kun. Good work as always,” he said.

“Hello. As always, thank you for your assistance. I’m here to submit the construction plan—”

“Oh, hold that thought. We’ve got a new face in our division. Let me introduce you.”

“Now that you mention it, this is the season for transfers,” I remarked.

The officials posted to each division usually changed every April. It was a huge pain to have to rebuild rapport from the ground up every year, but that’s policy for you. This work technically should’ve been handled by the business side, but the boundary between business and construction was hazy at my company.

“Motomiya! C’mere real quick!”

“Oh, yes sir!”

A familiar-looking woman hurried over to us. Her hair that she used to keep tied back in a ponytail was now worn down with a loose perm. Her face also seemed more mature than before.

“I’m Motomiya. I transferred to the water and sewer management division in April. I look forward to working with you.” Without realizing who I was, Miori held out her business card.

“I’m Haibara of Tsukida Construction,” I said after a short pause.

After we exchanged business cards, Miori froze, her gaze fixed on my card. Then she raised her head and locked eyes with me.

“Huh? Natsuki?”

“Hey, long time no see.”

Miori blinked at me.

She’s way too pretty. Must be her makeup.

“Hmm? Do you two know each other?” Maruyama-san asked quizzically. We quickly explained that we were childhood friends. “Well I’ll be. The world sure is a small place. Perfect! Motomiya, this must be fate at work. You’re in charge of this new pump construction project. I’m too busy anyway!”

“What?!” Miori cried.

Maruyama-san guffawed loudly as he returned to his desk.

That guy is so sloppy with his job! He’s not a bad person, though. Also, if he’s going to palm off the task to someone else, then shouldn’t he at least give her the rundown? Huh? Is he leaving the handover process to me too? That’s ridiculous (happens a lot).

Miori silently glowered at me.

“Glare all you like. What do you want me to do?”

“It’s your fault that I have more work now.” She sighed. “I never thought I’d run into you like this.”

“So, you became a civil servant, huh?”

“And you work for a construction company? You joined an exhausting field.”

“It pays well, you know?”

“Figures.”

How many years has it been since we last talked? At least ten, I think. And yet, surprisingly, we can still banter like we used to. “I’m sure we have a lot to catch up on, but I need to go help my junior out.”

“Huh. You seem busy,” she remarked.

“Yeah, I’ve been in a bind because overtime regulation has gotten stricter lately.”

A beat passed. “Are you working overtime tonight?”

“Dunno yet. It depends on how much trouble my junior is in.”

“If it looks like you can leave, then hang out with me for a bit.”

I never expected her to invite me for drinks. I thought she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. “Okay.”

But I don’t feel like saying no. After all, I’m glad I get to reconnect with Miori.

***

I finished my junior’s work at an ultrafast speed and went to the izakaya Miori had specified. It was an unpretentious, casual joint, echoing with boisterous voices.

“Natsuki, over here.” Miori was already seated. “What’ll you have?”

“I’ll start with a beer,” I replied.

“I’ll have the same, then.”

Our ice-cold beers arrived shortly, and we lifted our cups for a toast.

“Good work today,” I said.

“You too. Cheers.” Miori gulped down her beer. I thought it would just be a long swig, but she drained the entire glass in one go.

“You drink like a college student,” I remarked.

“Shut up! I’m really irritated right now. I have more work because of you too.” Miori, having become instantly tipsy, began rattling off complaints one after another. “That guy doesn’ have any intention of workin’ at all!”

On her third glass, Miori’s face was red, and she was slurring.

“Man, you’re a lightweight...”

“No I’m not! I’m nah drunk!”

It’s always the lightweights who insist they’re not drunk.

“In the first place, Natsuki, you...”

She started complaining about things I had done in the past. Then, we began chatting about the old days. She laughed at me when I told her how my high school debut had failed.

As we talked, I learned about how Miori was hated by the girls’ basketball team. I learned about how that had led to her developing the yips for passing the ball, and how she had ultimately failed to overcome it. And...I learned how she had dated Shiratori for a brief period. Then I learned that Shiratori got mixed up with a bad crowd, and they had broken up.

“You know... I probably loved you,” Miori murmured. Her face wasn’t red any longer; she had started drinking oolong tea after her third glass of beer.

“Really? I probably loved you too.”

We were both so irresolute in our wording that it made us share a smile.

I can’t alter the past, but I can face the future. Although it won’t erase my regrets, I can take action so I won’t have any more new ones.

“Why don’t we date? Just a trial to start.”

I peered into Miori’s eyes. No matter how hard I looked, she seemed to mean it seriously.

“And then, if we haven’t broken up by the time we’re thirty...let’s get married,” she suggested.

I nodded. “Okay.”

“Th-That was a fast reply.” Miori’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Because I knew as soon as we saw each other again.”

“Knew what?”

“That I love you,” I said plainly.

A warm smile spread across Miori’s face. “Same here.”

At the age of twenty-eight, I got my first girlfriend. She was someone I had thought I would never meet again—my first love and childhood friend.

Afterword

Just because you’re correct, that doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want. We’re only human. When you try to force factuality onto a person, you just might ruin them.

Look at me, trying to say cool-sounding stuff. Long time no see. I’m Amamiya Kazuki.

This volume was about Yamano Saya. Since she’s the first underclassman character to appear in the story, the focus this time was on how Natsuki, as her upperclassman, guides her to grow as a person. Natsuki has also grown over the past year, by quite a lot (I hope). I would be delighted if my writing conveys how each day adds to his experience.

Now it’s time for acknowledgments. Every single time, I find myself causing trouble for my manager, N-san. Please don’t toss me aside! Gin-san was once again responsible for the illustrations; thank you for the wonderful artwork as always. I’m deeply moved that we got to see Natsuki’s cute underclassman make all sorts of expressions.

An enormous thank-you as well to everyone involved in this novel’s publication.

Thanks to everyone’s support, this series is in the process of getting an anime! Thank you so, so much!

My Underclassman Who Always Teases Me Is Clearly Fond of Me

“Seeenpai!”

Someone suddenly hit my back.

“Whoa!” I yelped, pitching forward. I looked behind me to see Yamano standing there.

“Heh heh! Did I surprise you?” she asked, a bright smile on her face.

“You little...” I flicked her forehead as punishment.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“That’s my line! Don’t jump me first thing in the morning.” I almost fell and hurt myself.

“Fine, fine. I’m veeery sorry.” Yamano walked alongside me, not looking apologetic in the slightest. “We got another day of good weather!”

No matter how I slice it, she’s clearly attached to me. Even someone as thickheaded as me can tell. I mean, just look at how close she is. And I mean that in a physical sense.

“Eck. Haibara-kun, you’re with another new girl...”

“I gotta tell Hoshimiya-san...”

The kids commuting to school are blatantly watching us! I don’t think you need to tell Hoshimiya-san! I have nothing to feel guilty about!!!

“Hey,” I said to Yamano, “weird rumors are going to spread because of you!”

“Naaah, it’ll be fine. Hoshimiya-senpai will trust you.”

You really think so? Not gonna lie, I don’t remember doing anything that would make Hikari trust me. Listen, I’m doing my best here. But things just turned out this way... “Anyway, stand farther away from me. I have a girlfriend.”

“Fine, fine.” Yamano sighed. “I want a boyfriend too,” she grumbled as she stepped away. Her gaze was fixed on a couple walking to school together.

It was Hino and Fujiwara. I’m glad they still seem close even though they got put in different classes. “You managed to patch things up with your friends. Be satisfied with that much for now,” I said through sighs.

Yamano shook her pointer finger in front of her face. “Tsk, tsk! Senpai, human greed has no bounds. I’ll bag myself a hot boyfriend and enjoy my high school life! Like, come on, when it comes to youth, there’s gotta be romance, right?”

“That’s a pretty simplistic line of thought,” I remarked.

“Senpai, I don’t want to hear that from you.”

Okay, fair. I don’t have the right to refute her. “Say, what do you think about Sakata-kun?”

“Sakata-kun? Oh, in the light music club? What about him?”

“Uh, well, isn’t he pretty handsome?”

“Ehhh, is he? Hmm... He’s not too bad, I guess.”

Apparently, Yamano’s bar is extremely high. I think Sakata-kun is really good-looking, though. “Be more specific, then. What about Reita?”

“Hmm... Shiratori-senpai, huh...”

“If Reita’s not good enough, then ninety-nine percent of the global population isn’t handsome.”

“That’s true, but still...” Yamano hummed and then glanced at me. “I want someone hotter than you, senpai.”

She likes me way too much! After all, conventionally speaking, hardly anyone would say that I’m better looking than Reita! Wait, Sakata-kun is also more handsome than me! I suppressed those thoughts and chose my next words carefully. “Don’t you think your standards are heavily skewed by your biases?”

At that, realization flashed across Yamano’s face. Her eyes swam. “A-Also, personality is important!”

“R-Right! What kind of personality do you like?”

“Uh... He’s gotta be on the same wavelength as me and understand my faults.” Yamano stole a glance at me and then looked down. “Sorry. Actually, nothing in particular comes to mind...”

The mood’s gotten kinda awkward. “Hey, those lyrics really didn’t have any romantic subtext, right?” I asked.

“O-Of course not! Oh em gee!”

“Yeah, ’course not! Sorry, my bad! I was being too self-conscious!” I exclaimed with a lilt at the end.

Yamano and I both laughed. Then, for some reason, we fell silent for a while. Bafflingly, though we were nearly at school, our destination felt extremely far away.

“I’m not lying,” Yamano murmured eventually. “I don’t feel jealous of Hoshimiya-senpai.”

Her expression was serious, which was how I knew she truly meant it.

“I see,” I said.

“This emotion isn’t love... I think respect is the closest word to describe it,” Yamano said, and then smiled softly at me.

Maybe that feeling is tinged with traces of love, but if that’s what she says, then I’ll believe her.